When white people envision their dream home, a key part of the fantasy involves a least one piece of furniture designed by a famous architect from the 1930s.
Architects like Mies van der Rohe and Le Corbusier designed iconic modern furniture that has inspired virtually everything made by Ikea and Design Within Reach, both of which are key suppliers of furniture to white people.
But as with all things, white people will do whatever it takes to secure authenticity including paying thousands of dollars for a small piece of furniture.
If they are able to acquire this prized furniture, they will forever refer to it only by the designers name. “I spend hours in the van der Rohe, just looking through these beautiful books of his work.”
Referring to a white person’s expensive chair as a ‘chair’ is considered poor form and will likely result in a loss of trust and/or respect.
The best strategy for avoiding this faux pas is to look for the most uncomfortable chair in a white person’s home and ask “who designed that?” If they say “Ikea” or “Design within Reach” you can call it a chair, otherwise refer to it only by the name they give you.
It should also be noted that many white people are unable to acquire this furniture, but that does not mean you cannot use this information to your advantage.
In situations where you need to improve your connection with a white person, just mention how you hope to be successful enough to one day afford an original piece of furniture by <insert obscurely named architect>. If they have heard of the designer they will nod in agreement, if they have not, they will also nod in agreement and make a note to look it up later.
In either case, your status will rise.
Stuff White People Like 
my white mom does the same exact crap with her furniture
I’ve been on this site since the beginning.
White people *love* being in on things since the beginning.
That’s my whole house right there.
Funny how so many of these things apply to me… 🙂
It’s true. McDonalds in Europe was actually recently caught with deploying counterfeit designer chairs, such as the Egg, in its stores. Take that, respect for intellectual property!
What if I designed them myself will my status rise or will my status “be hood”?
http://www.IGotUGGs.com
http://www.BehindtheApprovalMatrix.com
ZA must be white as hell.
This post is so true. And don’t call it the Mies van der Rohe chair or the Chalres Eames chair (which will lose you big time cred) but call it the van der Rohe or the Eames.
You should get a book deal. Sharp wit!
I don’t know, I’m pretty white (but not an Arts major, so who knows) and my dream furniture is probably stuff that looks older. I doesn’t actually have to be old, but it has to match my imaginary roaring fireplace!
…Maybe that falls under the ‘antiques’ post anyway.
You know, “white people” as described by this blog are actually a minority in this country, and furthermore they are endangered since their population grows more slowly than that of other minority groups, or the wrong kind of white people. So, have your fun chronicling their culture while it lasts!
White people loves Charles and Ray Eames (specially the lounge chair , and Molded plastic chairs)
They also must have an (Isamu) Noguchi Table, and they will refer to it as an sculpture, not a table.
They also cream their pants when they realize that there is a Vitra or Herman Miller store opening soon in their neighborhood……..
“It’s true. McDonalds in Europe was actually recently caught with deploying counterfeit designer chairs, such as the Egg, in its stores. Take that, respect for intellectual property!”
Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
(Plus it’s not actually a violation of intellectual property … unless you’re the type that supports enforcing software patents.)
Ah, as usual, you do not let me down. Thanks for the laugh this morning 🙂
haqikah6,
that corporate “blog” BehindtheApprovalMatrix, should be called “Stuff Redneck People likes”.
You didn’t mention Crate and Barrel. I know of folks who live 2,000 miles away from the place and are willing to spend three times as much on shipping for that furniture than to go to the local La-Z-Boy for a recliner.
Then again, being a black girl who minored in art history in college who got a rush after touring the only Mies Van der Rohe-designed building in D.C., the Martin Luther King Library, I admit I would like to have some Barcelona chairs in my living room.
Does my race car bed count as modern furniture?
Hey, I’m a white art student (see name) and I HATE modern furniture! Thanks for writing this post exposing designer chairs for what they really are: LAME!
OK, I don’t know *that* sort of white person. All the ones I know are in love with Pottery Barn or Anthropologie and will buy any furniture that evokes lazy colonial bungalows from Indonesia or something.
I’ve noticed that white people quite often want to be emotionally angst-ridden with all their possessions as well. The phrase, “Ugh, I just don’t know what to do, Mooky bit a hole in the side of the Eames and there just isn’t anyone here in the city I trust to do an authentic repair job. I’m so angst-ridden!” comes to mind. Actually this condition applies to children and pets as well. “Ugh, My little Skylar has already tested out of 6th and 7th grade science, so what do I do, send her to high school for science, even though she is only in the fifth grade? You’re SO lucky your Timmy is just, you know, normal. You have NO idea how hard it is having such a gifted child.” Yes, Yes, I know you did a post on gifted children, but it is the “demoralizing burden of being saddled with such complex and angst inducing issues” that is truly what separates the merely beige from the true WHITE.
I luv Meezes to pieces!
& i was on to this site before thum other knuckleheaded mouth-breathers…
dont they know how gauche they come off….?
idjits
FYI – being a white person, architect and modern furniture officionando – It would be the “Mies” chair or perhaps that “Barcelona” chair. No one really refers to him as “van der Rohe”
oh- and I am all over this blog – love it
Wow, you gave me a great idea. I’m going to make a totally offensive racial website like yours all about Mexicans and blacks. That will be friggin genious. Loser.
Once again, you nailed it! Owning an “Lazy Boy” chair will never be the same again.
http://www.jonesview.wordpress.com
This is scary.
I am a Hispanic Caucasian, which I don’t think counts as “white” in the context of your blog, but I can identify with most of the things white people like! (I am drinking my “rocket fuel” as I write this)
Not only that, but most of my friends and some of my relatives (also Hispanic) do too!
I even have friends who are already multi-lingual (Spanish, English) who are sending their daughter to a French Language immersion primary school, because they feel that speaking Spanish doesn’t count.
Scary scary!!
Bah! I just spit coffee out my nose and all over my Chair!!!
Thank God I don’t have a van der Rohe to devalue.
I am very white.
Also, in addition to the furniture, we whites like very fancy lamps.
My love to the people who created this blog!
Ikea furniture is considered the poor mans/students furniture here in Scandinavia. (I am poor and a student).
I always thought that Americans hated Ikea furniture, since its so “difficult” to assemble it. We grew up with Lego, so putting Ikea fruniture togheter is not even considered a task.
Wow , I sound so “white” =)
Again, my love to all you people who write here and enjoy this blog!
Absolutely brilliant!
My only regret is that you did not afford me to the opportunity to pay $29.95 for a hardcover version of this material.
#19 slays me with little Skylar…
Okay so this one doesn’t exactly apply to me. I could really care less what furniture I have in the house. I have too many kids who would just wreck whatever it was anyway and I don’t know the names of any famous architects either so I would just look stupid anyways. But, I do know people like that…and on the other end of the spectrum I know really wealthy “white” people who have had the same furniture for years, non architecturally famous furniture, that they just keep re doing over and over instead of spending money, that they have up the wazoo to buy new stuff….so this may be another topic for you to write about. The wealth white person who is too stingy to buy new furniture…LOL
Considering that I own a couple pieces from Mies and one piece from Ngochi, I assure you we don’t buy them to sit on. They should speak to you and inspire you. They are masterpieces just to be looked at and fawned over. These are precious glimpses of human creativity and speaks to our ingenuity. I laud anyone who can’t appreciate profoundness, humility and transcendent nature of these simple austere objects. I hope and prayer that they may evolve into all that they could be and see the meaning in the most meaningless things!!
Every day I check the responses here, and every day some guy (I assume; womerns are a touch quieter with they prejudice) threatens to write a “funny” blog about what Blacks or Mexicans like. Followed by an ironic insult.
Every day.
If you can’t afford any actual iconic furniture (is a $2,800 Eames chair really “design within reach”?), you can sort of make up for this by judicious use of the term “mid-century modern” in reference to any piece of furniture designed before 1990. It doesn’t matter if it’s true, it just matters that there’s molded plywood involved.
I thought Ikea was just some place to get crappy furniture on the cheap.
Yes, I agree with Rockie Bee (34). I find it funny that such people call this blog racist or insulting. I wish my people were only insulted for their tastes in furniture or their interest in expensive sandwiches.
Instead, the not-so-white folks are often treated to racism that calls them stupid, uneducated or criminal and unsuitable for good jobs.
BlackWhiteGuy!
I just wish you had put your creative and philosophical talent to something useful!
Your logic is flawed, “I assure you we don’t buy them to sit on. They should speak to you and inspire you.”
You are trying to justify stupidity(high price etc) with esthetics.
“see the meaning in the most meaningless things!!”
Well, I hope that you can explain the meaning of this meaningless sentence.
If someone is wondering why I am being harsh, is because it does not take much to experience esthetics and beauty.
These simple sentences hold more beauty than any piece of furniture created:
a<b<c
c-a = (c-b) + (b-a)
Or a glimpse of sun rays while they are penetrating trough the clouds.
HAHAH! this is my grandmother in law!
she is very contemporary in all her looks and goes to fancy danish/swedish furniture stores (not ikea, she is above ikea) and calls it therapy.
LOL!
Your White fantasy is interesting. This one is so far off base it makes the rest of your stuff look rational.
“I thought Ikea was just some place to get crappy furniture on the cheap.”
Then you truly don’t know the wonder that is IKEA.
The IKEA in Singapore at least (established 1978, EIGHT YEARS BEFORE IT ARRIVED IN AMERICA), is filled with Asians (naturally) and every time you go in there, you’re packed like sardines — there’s actually a line where you wait to enter. Often, the food is sold next to the furniture. We’ve had celebrity cooks use the refrigerators and stovetop ranges in the store …
This is probably not such a white entry, since Asians, galosisien, are the ones more guilty of buying cheap, modern furniture. It goes with the “fung shui” theme. (Though “fung shui” itself is probably pretty white.)
Ikea, by the way, is crap. The stuff breaks scarcely a month after purchase.
Whoops! Above comment was suppose to read “since Asians, as galosisien said”. Current version sounds slightly confrontational.
“Ikea, by the way, is crap. The stuff breaks scarcely a month after purchase.”
Maybe the American stores suck … the IKEA stuff we bought (porcelain cups at one Singaporean dollar each … ) have lasted our family quite a while.
Or maybe Asians take better care of their household objects. (I’m not being serious about this point, though I am about the first.)
All my furniture was free. As in, from random dumpsters and street corners. White people piss me off. Who cares who designed your chair? It’s a resting place for your ass. In olden times, this was called “dirt” or “grass” or, if you were really lucky, “smooth wide rock”. Jesus.
Many, many years ago, in a different incarnation, I had a pair of Eames (es?), the wire models. Actually, they were quite comfortable, but the wire on the seat broke where it was welded to the supports. But then those were cheapies — nothing like $2500. Not even $100. Today I shop the thrift shops, which might well be a Whiteperson thang, now that I think about it. I suspect you don’t realize just how long the Whiteperson characteristics you describe so well have been with us. I finished college in 1949 and your posts fit many of my acquaintances to a T.
#44 galoisien — Naw, I think Asians generally are lighter. 🙂 (And I’m speaking as a much heavier Asian.)
“Ikea, by the way, is crap. The stuff breaks scarcely a month after purchase.”
You’ll get a good two months out of it, because the warranty is 45 days. Though, a 45 day warranty for anything less perishable than fresh shellfish is pretty ridiculous.
Can the blog owner ban this url please? This spam is getting annoying.
“You’ll get a good two months out of it, because the warranty is 45 days. Though, a 45 day warranty for anything less perishable than fresh shellfish is pretty ridiculous.”
Really? Mine was for 1 year …
granny J is my grandmother’s name – well, the name I call her.
also, i don’t like modern furniture – i like old vintage/antique furniture that looks like its about to fall apart.
we’ve had that chair since i was a baby. fuck.
well, i guess it’s different because my dad’s mexican and an artist, so we’re in the clear
Nathan: You know, “white people” as described by this blog are actually a minority in this country, and furthermore they are endangered since their population grows more slowly than that of other minority groups, or the wrong kind of white people. So, have your fun chronicling their culture while it lasts!
Their population isn’t “growing” at all – it’s in demographic collapse.
Just like all the other populations in the civilized world:
IQ and the Wealth of Nations
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_and_the_Wealth_of_Nations
List of countries and territories by fertility rate
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_and_territories_by_fertility_rate
The Baby Gap: Explaining Red and Blue
http://www.isteve.com/babygap.htm
Power and the evangelical womb
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Front_Page/FK09Aa02.html
#21; thanks for correcting the blogger. Only people from the hinterland call it a van der Rohe.
DWR designs nothing; he simply peddles inexpensively manufactured goods to the yuppy masses at a huge markup. He had to scale back because plenty of buyers were wising up to the tactics – expect people who move to the Marina from Fresno; they’re beyond help, and they actually think that junk from Restoration Hardware and Crate & Barrel qualifies as furniture.
In my house, design trumps functionality; that’s why Cini Boeri’s Ghost Chair (not to be confused with Phillipe Starck’s “Ghost Chair”) has place of prominence. Boeri’s is the ONLY Ghost Chair.People with good design taste avoid Starck’s crap.
This weekend, I’ve decided to buy Castiglione’s Aoy, to keep his Taccia company.
You’re REALLY white if your furniture & lamps have individual names and designers.
You’re REALLY, REALLY white if you own anything by Team Wellis
I thought I was a white person after reading the multlingual children thread. Now I discover I’m not. Sob, now I have an identity crisis.
Hah! That must make me white again…
http://stuffwhitepeopledontlike.blogspot.com/
funnier
Sweet this one doesn’t apply to me. I like retro furniture..ie: 60s style. Actually modernistic looking furniture for that era I suppose.
Like:
http://cgi.ebay.com/1960s-Mid-Century-Danish-Modern-Sofa-Bed-Sleeper-Eames_W0QQitemZ290208719317QQihZ019QQcategoryZ156315QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
When you get to 100, publish a book! I will buy it and put in on my Nelson bench. My white friends will see it when they come over for one of my home cooked ethnic dinners. We’ll all have a hearty chuckle.
Another thing white people really seem to like is Ultimate Frisbee, which they incessantly call “Ultimate.” It really ticks me off, even though I’m white.
#57 – that piece is very acceptable; especially if you own an Eichler house to go along with it.
Great post as usual, but I think you missed a golden opportunity to structure it as you did with the “water in a bottle” observation. Putting Ikea and Design Within Reach together is too much of a stretch and violates certain tenets of whiteness (as well as several rules of comedy).
Level 1: White people start out with stuff from Ikea.
Level 2: Then they get a job promotion (and/or finish law school, business school, or their medical residency) and move on to your Crate & Barrel, Pottery Barn, West Elm, and such.
Level 3: This is where you get the Room & Board and DWR crowd. It’s in this setting where you will encounter multilingual kids trotting beside their fully accesorized Bugaboo strollers while the white parents say things like “Honey, I love you but you must be on crack. There’s no way this Tulip table is an original Saarinen. Look at the base, it’s clearly made of spun metal! Oh excuse me white (and usually gay) salesperson! Is this Saarinen by Knoll a fully licensed reproduction or an inspired-by-replica?” If a white person tells you the full name of the chair/table (structure: german sounding name by another white sounding name), make your best effort to repeat the full name. Most likely, this white person has moved beyond 80s night, but if he/she were still at that stage, your acknowledgment of the furniture’s true provenance will earn you an invitation to 80s night.
Level 4: Now we’re entering true hardcore whiteness. At white person who has attained this state of mid-century modern obsession will settle for nothing less than the original restored pieces and will scour the internet to find that one perfect model of an Eames LCW. These are the same white people who go on Eichler tours and know all the case study homes by their numbers.
Level 5: This type of white person exists only theory. At this stage, a white person will demonstrate his/her acute sense of irony by meticulously juxtapositioning a Le Corbusier next to a piece from Ikea (most likely a Lack side table or floating shelf).
Note: I am currently somewhere between levels 2 and 3 owing to the fact I have an inspired by replica of the Barcelona chair/ottoman set (a Farcelona if you will). Full entry into level 3 would require that I stop reading the internet and work on advancing my career through casually mentioning to my boss how the recent podcast of This American Way got me thinking.
Another note: All white people subscribe to Dwell.
Well, you nailed it with the furniture with me. I want to fill a house with this stuff, and I thought I was kind of distinctive. Oh well!
I’ve also noticed the phenomenon of non-whites commenting or trashing this blog. Good times. Why not take their comments into account with a classification system (another thing white people like, sort of German in this case. . .).
Example: If it’s a class comment, that would be a #1. Hate speech? That’s a #2. Pure trolling would be a #3. Complaints about their group/culture not being understood: #4. Talking about how they’re not white yet something still applies to them, that’s a #5.
In this way, we wouldn’t have to dignify every response as something so above and beyond and idiosyncratic. We can simply drop it in the category, or at least use that as a framework.
“I think BloggerX’s comment was a 2 but maybe it was just 3”
You’ve hit the hexagonal nail on the head regarding Ikea. I’m a fan. My comments (in musical comedy form, naturally) are at http://www.ikeaphobia.com.
Just started reading your blog following a recommendation from a documentary maker friend of mine here in the UK. Absolutely hilarious. I once rescued an Ercol chair from a local recycling centre. I asked if it was OK to take the abandoned wooden frame to which the operative replied “You’ll probably bring it back next week” Au contraire, after a very minor investment in a few metres of webbing, couple of bits of foam and some calico fabric it was as good as new, which to buy would have set me back upwards of £400.
i look forward to your next observation of “white people”
Two words:
EAMES LOUNGE
I’ve coveted this piece of furniture since I was a white teenager. And as a white adult, I’ve spent hours scouring eBay for a knock-off that I can afford.
i rather just get my furniture from the goodwill like all other black ppl cause if it doesnt have holes in it, its a go.
I want an Eames chair to replace my Ikea chair. Not kidding.
Whitepeople only like modern furniture in their urban condo/townhouse/gentrified neighborhood location.
The country house/moutain resort should remind people of L.L. Bean.
check out http://everythingimnot.wordpress.com
maybe you should change the blog to ‘stuff american white people like’ lol
Faggy white guy here… love the site…. hate modern furniture, though… the only white people I know with modern furniture in their homes (and YES they do refer to it by the name of the designer) are pretentious straight couples under the age of 40. Oddly, I prefer 18th and 19th century english and american reproductions… the more authentic the design the better. In my house, we use phrases like “the chippendale (highboy)”, “the sheraton (sideboard)”, and the “hepplewhite (desk chair)”… So I guess it’s kind of the same thing.
Most of my gay white friends live much the same way, but with a preference for furniture that is Edwardian, Victorian, Arts and Crafts, Deco, french country, or Ind/Afro-Colonial.
I think it’s because “modern” is a bit cold and, for straight people, very easy to use because it doesn’t require a lot of thought, layering, or character… Any old fool can paint a room white or pale grey and fill it was chrome and black leather furniture and a few well placed abstract “lithographs” (expensive/overpriced posters bought by pretentious straight white people).
NEW POST:
“YOU CANNOT PASS OUT AROUND WHITE PEOPLE. Everytime white dudes pass out around eachother they always do some borderline gay shit when the guy is asleep: ‘Frank fell asleep, so we like stuck a carrot in his ass, and put shaving cream on his balls.’ Why motherfucka? Why would you do that to a friend of your’s; he trusted you enough to sleep around you, you gonna put a carrot in his ass? Is that nice? I tell you right now, if I put a carrot in a black dudes ass while he’s asleep, a nigga will kill you when he wakes up for some shit like that, that’s an automatic death sentance on the street, that’s a wrap for you: ‘Im gonna kill that motha fucka’!!!’
‘I thought yall was friends baby, what happened?’
‘I fell asleep at his house right, we was drinking, and I fell asleep, and while I was sleeping, he…I’m just gonna’ kill that muthafucka that’s all you need to know!…and fuck carrots!!!'”
Dave Chappelle “Live at the Fillmore
If you’re going to create a post on overpriced furniture at least have the courtesy to have links to those designers. It’s not like I can afford it, I’ll just do a very ‘white thing’ by putting an entire living room set on my credit card.
#56 Shahar,
Thanks for the link! Hilarious, also!
Har!
This is the best damn site in the world!
suggested: The Utne Reader
I think there needs to be a disclaimer on this site on the about page that sort of explains what’s going on here… “yes this site isn’t really supposed to be about ALL white people, just a particular group that generally thinks they’re above it all when it comes to cultural classification (part of the joke is referring to this subgroup as white people in general), no I’m not trying to offend anybody just offer a little perspective, etc.”
I’m tired of reading the same comments on every single post about how this is really only about New Englanders / Liberals / Americans or how it’s not funny because it’s the same as making fun of black people. So even though that would sacrifice some of the presentation value, I think it might be good. Maybe it would help get the point across to some people.
For instance: some people with the “reverse racism” complaint are probably knee-jerking because they think a non-white person is trying to offend them and thinks he can get away with it because black on white humor is funny but white on black is racism, and this seems unfair to them. But a quick internet search reveals one or two interviews with the author, who explains that he himself is a member of the very group he is here lampooning and that he’s trying to make a point in doing so. I’m just saying… maybe people who were initially offended would see some of the irony or value in the blog instead of discarding it outright if there was a place on the site to read without mistake exactly what the goal of it is. People who would be offended by this blog probably could stand to benefit the most from understanding it instead of storming off in disgust.
Just my two cents! Keep up the hilarity.
This is really losing it’s edge. Again, this is not a white thing. This is a thing that people do when they want to look sophisticated. And they can’t do it at all unless they have lots of money.
#78- you need to dig deep into your whiteness. You don’t need lots of $, just lots of credit cards. Now get out there and spend like us obedient honkeys are supposed to!
I chuckle every time I read your blog 🙂
I have real priced furniture in my living room !
Marcel Breuer, Charles and Ray Eames, Ray Wilkes, Alvar Aalto.
The funny part is I am not even white (of east indian origin)
Most white people don’t even know of these big designers.
They know cheap knock off junk of these great designers work
at Target and Ikea. I can spot knock off miles away if I go these
box stores.
I used to even own a modernist architect designed house…!
When I told a friend of mine (a white person) that my current
house (1920s vintage) was designed by European peasants…he got really offended….I actually said the truth !
Funny the way other people of different backgrounds turn all these stereotypes around. Your every post actually speak of over educated people like us…..keep the posts coming…
Your stereotypes do not apply to the majority of the white people by the way. They are just an ideal most white people would want to achieve. The education, sophistication, worldliness etc etc. May be they do not know how to achieve them..huh ! By the way most white people freak out if you stereotype any one actually…..should write about stereotypes too….
I love stereotypes….just like I love statistics ha ! ha ! ha !
In response to #77 LGDubs’s suggestion. While I agree a disclaimer might help alleviate the confusion, I think that boat sailed some time ago. Post #50 (irony) would have been a good opportunity to introduce that concept if the blog author wanted to do that. I bet he actually wrestled with that idea and then came to the right decision to keep moving forward without disclaiming.
But then again, putting up a disclaimer that explains irony would take away from the irony. White people do love their irony, so I think this would be bad for the blog which is clearly written for white people. Personally, it’s just more fun to see how much these observations irk some people. In many ways, it enhances the joke.
Disclaimer: the above is not a disclaimer. Continue reading.
Hipsters with less money will sometimes substitute (still overpriced) “mod” furniture from “vintage stores”… In such instances to gain the respect and trust of your frugal white aquaintance, you should admire their junk and pretend to mistake it for designer.
This was most useful for me to do with a couple who bought a f’ugly 60s era yellow vinyl couch that probably once graced a dentist’s office. It flattered them and gave them an opportunity to tell me the history of where they bought it and how they “saw it, loved it, had to have it, and designed the room around it.”
You really need to publish these in a coffee table book with photos, illustrations and a a few cherry-picked comments from the combox for each one.
newer posts at http://everythingimnot.wordpress.com
I assume my Nakashima pieces count…big time! But maybe not because we actually use them. We use our vintage Italian sports car too…does that make us white trash?
This site just keeps me smiling…it’s hard to be white in little Asia, i.e. The Bay Area.
#61– priceless. so spot on. lol!!
once again as i look around my home – i do tend to have more modern type furniture, mixed with antiques- but, Mies van der Rohe’s architecture is definitely not on my list – i’d rather swim through a pool of my own vomit than declare my love of for glass-and-steel architecture – that said – i do love mid-century furnishings and frank lloyd wright – how come there is no mention of him?
i have a nogichi table and an eames lounge chair
HA! Yes I do like that stuff. :O
http://wweadam.com
Holy crap–I just found you and this is about the funniest website I have seen in years.
You kill me!
One bit of advice to add to this – avoid the social solecism of calling their van der Rohe a chair by calling it a ‘piece’.
This works for anything from chairs to toasters to genuine art… “That’s a lovely piece you have there – fantastic lines. Where did you find such a fantastic item, they’re getting increasingly hard to source I find!”
Such a comment will get you invited to weddings etc as if you were closer than one of the (small, because white) family.
hahahaahah this is so amazing
so which white people are buying the godawful crap in the stores out by the highway? (pick any highway and any store).
I’m starting to worry I may not be as white as my mirror says, hardly any of this stuff applies to me.
oh, that’s right, they’re the white people from another planet.
IMG, you so nailed me! Haha…
why does everyone feel the need to prove themselves in the comments? no one cares if this post applies to you. & also if you’re really so dense as to say “this isn’t representative of all white people” you probably shouldn’t be reading the blog.
@10: They may be a minority, but they own everything. This blog pokes fun not really at white people, but at power. If you’ve been in an average office or company environment, you’d see that it is generally run by white people.
It’s fun to make fun of the powerful. Making fun of the powerless is cruel and mean. Big difference.
why do some people have to make comments proving that they disapprove of people who feel a need to prove themselves in their comments? no one cares if you disapprove…
look at http://everythingimnot.wordpress.com
check it out
In addition to the furniture stores/brands that have been mentioned above, such as Dania, Ikea and Scan Design (scandanavian furniture), white people also LOVE painting the interior of their houses those annoying bright colors.
Every white person’s house in Western Washington looks like the interior of a freaking Starbucks or a poor replica of a hoity toity Tuscan home.
I think a vast majority of the “white” people who post on this site fail to realize that being “white” is actually not a bad thing. Nor is it good. Its white. If you note my website, I am actually a big whitey. So any of you Asian girls who think I’m cute and like hiking, bottled water, recycling, organic food, plays, and indie music want to go out, I could take you to a nice Asian Fusion restaurant and then a night of awkward dancing at a bar or club. I don’t really want modern furniture, but I do want to decorate with modern art of other types (I’m a sucker for Pete Mondrian). And I do really want a Mini Cooper though, deep down its my guilty white secrete.
I think the disclaimer page is a good idea, but I’d go the opposite direction being proposed and use it to point out how this website is completely serious and that, yes, it is aims to describe all white people and not just some tiny subset of which the author is a member – this would be great because it would create additional effortless comedy since White People love to get angry about stupid shit
oh, and for the first time, I don’t know anything about the content of a post here, but I’ll assume it’s on point since it sounds like stuff Patrick Bateman would have
everythingimnot- please stop spamming with your site I’ll never venture on. If you have something interesting to say, say it, and maybe then people may find it okay to check out what you’re pathetically begging us to.
Well duh. Your home is supposed to look like the Sunday “Living” section and they all have Corb chairs and, ponyskin chaises, and Barcelona chairs. Any oher unique selection is inauthentic.
Stop thinking so hard, and join the design borg (the “creative class*”)
*The creative class ia also something white people like.
http://pnewb.wordpress.com!
Help Me,
I need some feedback from white people. At what point has an individual transcended the whole white people experience?
Is it after his or her family/friends possess 90% of the qualities described in this blog?
What if the irony no longer resonates simply because white people are cause for annoyance (not based on jealousy but frustration)?
What does the future hold for this young white student? Should I now reject all things white, or would that be totally white people? (Shopping at Walmart would be considered ironic. People I know would think I was making some sort of statement).
Is this cultural emptiness the apex whiteness? Should I turn to Jesus or what?
On the surface, isn’t Patrick Bateman, for his era, quintessentially white (80s yuppy)?
Would he not evolve modern norms and attitudes sufficiently white for his peers?
Sorry, just to clarify, what attributes do you think modern era patrick bateman would have?
That would be odd.
“I think a vast majority of the “white” people who post on this site fail to realize that being “white” is actually not a bad thing. Nor is it good. Its white.”
Yes! Separate but equal works! Man, oh man, they shouldn’t have overturned Plessy v. Ferguson, those bastards!
Please come in, and have a seat on the Folding over there.
Well, Patrick was ahead of his time regarding some aspects of what now constitutes part of white people culture such as a predilection for almond-honey body scrubs and herb mint facial masks, so I think he’d readily adapt to the times – I imagine he’d be all over ear candling, for one
Design within Reach carries the authentic pieces, not knock-offs.
This blog has taught me to respect my inner whiteness. My kid speaks 3 languages, travel, water and books, not to mention wine, describe my life in vivid detail. This post is making me laugh to the point of crying because we just inherited a bunch of New Hope pieces and I find myself not calling the chair a chair. Too funny
On the contrary!
College-age white people do not love modern furniture. As a matter of fact, those white people prefer built-up crates and cinder blocks, though a beaten-down couch is well within their budget and means of living.
White people love to show off how poorly off they have it in the pettiest ways.
http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
#55 Stoner
“now I have an identity crisis.” “Hah, now I’m white again.”
Since when the hell do white people have identity crises?
White people love to leave comments on blogs.
meghan,
I hear ya. It’s probably the same poster(s) signing in as different names at least 50% of the time just to obfuscate. I wouldn’t put it past the Stormfronters to have descended on this place like the Grasshoppers in A Bug’s Life.
All those who beg off with Goodwill and dumpster-diving fail to realize that that too is an identifiable stage in (straight) white person development. You’ll do it til you’re 40 or get married, whichever happens first, and then you’ll become the white person profiled here. You don’t think you will, but you will.
Oh, and non-straight people skip this step altogether and go right to the quality.
why do some people have to make comments proving that they disapprove of people who have to make comments proving that they disapprove of people who feel a need to prove themselves in their comments? no one cares if you disapprove…
Stuff non-white people like:
Making anti-white comments on blogs about what white people like.
Telling white people that they REALLY don’t like white people.
Boasting about being non-white on blogs written about white people.
Explaning the non-white view of the white mind.
Never realizing that as long as they harbor these racist feelings about white people they diminish themselves.
Random Chad or Trixie comment: “Hi, welcome to my Home & Home Office. Be sure to make note of my Aeron chair. It’s got really good lumbar support. Feel free to sit in it, but do NOT alter my adjustments. K? Thanks.”
I hate em, they staaaink!
Stop posting these! Until this blog came out, I could proudly say I’d never spent time monitoring anyone’s blog. I have no life now.
galoisien,
Yes, I know, I’ve been there. I have quite a bit of furniture from Ikea. It is crap, and it was cheap. However, the cheapness outweighs the crappiness. All in all, I think Ikea is a pretty good deal most of the time.
truecrackahforeal,
RSS is wonderful. Use it.
40-39. You’re still more right than wrong.
In my experience the only people who refer to their furniture by name are people didn’t really have enough money to buy it in the first place.
Wealthy people aren’t impressed by sofas.
First let me say, this site is a hoot.
Ok, I sell mid century modern design, I am white and most of the people I sell mid century furniture to are in fact Caucasian. Yet, I would have to say that the percentage of the population that are consumers of designer furniture have a greater common denominator which has nothing to do with race. In fact because many of my buyers are more aesthetically motivated and not as motivated by comfort, racial diversity among the design savvy is apparently greater than diversity amongst wall-mart shoppers per capita. I would have to say that the greatest common denominator amongst my clientele is not being white or sexual preferance, as the other white people, which are not represented by this blog, ie.. Rednecks, would have you belive, no the Greatest Common Denominator amongst my clientele is……..Ok, I’ll let you belive what you want.
“RSS is wonderful. Use it.”
The comment feed speeds by so fast though ….
“Never realizing that as long as they harbor these racist feelings about white people they diminish themselves.”
I don’t think you get the full picture though — a lot of it is resentment of white myopia, which is not so much linked to skin colour as it is to culture.
Great Post!!
http://blinditemsreveal.blogspot.com/
This post isn’t all that factual.. I can’t really pin this on white people a lone.. Many races are into modern furnitures. More so Asians, and western-Europeans than American Whites
I had no idea…My white friends could not stop laughing…keep up the good work!!
I want exactly that chair.
wow. this is hilarious. I have no idea about that type of design… but I am not into that whole deal so watever.
Eames? Man, the names they had in those days.
this idea has gotten tired very quickly.
O, my dear Christian,
I fear at last that we have a disagreement. Not in content. Only with respect to the name we would use to refer to the prized piece of design furniture.
I have watched us specifically call it nothing and simply HAVE it. It is invisible and not referred to. Nor is attention drawn toward this furniture. We are blase and if we must remark on it or sort of ‘point it out’, the magic for most of the gang just evaporates.
The chair of a striver is pointed out. The end table of someone who has treated its acquisition as a big deal is noted after having been pointed out. And then, tragically dismissed.
Let me give you an example from cars. Let’s say a pal purchases a larger model BWM. Okay, it was me. I got a 733 iA the year my daughter was born. We called it the car. Honey, I need the car for ballet school or pet groomers. There was another car, a Volvo turbo wagon in silver. It was called the car or the wagon when the hauling ability was part of the deal. Honey, I need the wagon for Sam’s little league tonight.
I absolutely promise you that we would vomit if we had switched the word car for BMW or wagon for Volvo. Sadly, Mercedes-Benz people are the most offensive.
So a pony-skin sling chair on chrome (was this Vassili or something) becomes….Honey, where’s Sam’s book? O, he left it in the chair by the fishtank.
Am I clear here regarding white people furniture nomenclature. I am not incorrect.
All respectful wishes,
Digby
May I add;
-H&M
-“wall hangings”
-Having a non-white culture in their ancestry
-AntiVirus software
-Acoustic music
-Campaignforrealbeauty.com
-Parks with duck ponds
-Online banking
-Hairspray (the musical)
-Hairspray (the product)
-Victoria’s Secret
-Victoria’s Secret Garden products
-Interior design
-Collector’s Edition DVDs (the more special features the better!)
-Booster Juice/Jamba Juice
-Piercings
-Embellished vocabularies
-Passive Aggressiveness
-Having a “cottage” or “cabin”
-Using racial slurs (in jest) exclusively with other white people
Just what I’ve observed as a white girl living in one of the whitest communities possible: south-central Canada.
look at me i’m white (#107)…
Well, since Jesus wasn’t a white guy, that would seem to be a good start…but then again, whites co-opted him and gave him a blanchifying makeover way back in the day with all those god-awful portraits, so maybe not.
Besides, if you turn to Jesus, you have to start visiting my site, and I’m not as funny as clander is.
http://nghecon3.googlepages.com/ r
http://nghecon3.googlepages.com/ e
Always “Mies,” never “van der Rohe.” White people (especially architects) always refer to architects by a shortened version of their name, so that we can pretend we know them personally.
E.g. Mies, Corb, Zaha.
Perhaps this only applies when they have an interesting name. I’m sure no one casually refers to Norman or Peter.
u know where i find my furniture, on the curb during the huge trash day, n ill tell ppl str8 up, they say oo thats a nice chair whered u get that it? from the curb bitch. i dont give a fuck. if ppl wanna toss out a perfectly good chair cause they spent 2 grand on a new recliner so be it, keep ur sophisticated art deco modern deco bullshit between you and the family dog ur fuckin, n yea im white motherfuckaaaa
http://stuffdarkpeoplelike.wordpress.com
I am obsessed with this site. (White people love to be obsessed with things.)
I am pretty much the target demo (32-year-old white liberal female in San Francisco, hi).
I have spent an inordinate amount of time coming up with ideas for posts and since my friends are really tired of hearing them, I thought I’d just list a few of them here (where other commenters can tire of hearing them).
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
* Stress – we really, really could not survive if we could not complain about how stressed we are)
* Having an Opinion About Martha Stewart – esp. her jail time
* Designer Ceaning Products – e.g., Dyson vacuums and aromatherapeutic dish detergents sold at Whole Foods and Williams-Sonoma
* Teeth Whitening
* Trivia – From Trivial Pursuit to simply throwing out random movie and television quotes (which may well be its own topic), all white people relish the opportunity to prove that they know more useless information than other white people.
* Inventing Vague Diseases – e.g., Chronic Fatigue, IBS
* Lip Gloss
White people also like to spell the word “Cleaning” without the “L” sometimes.
this site is genius on multiple levels. one of them being how idiotic i sound for saying that.
Can I haz a Aalto #544 black wool sofa pleez?
I am currently typing this at my Herman Miller desk, looking across the vast white terazzo floors of my 1965 white stucco William Bain designed home upon which rests a white Warren Platner sofa, white Joe Columbo Elda chair flanked by Bertoia Wide Diamonds, Bird Chair and assorted Wegner and Arne Vodder Danish pieces.
Don’t even get me started with the rest of the house.
Man… I never gave it much thought but if I was any whiter people might start mistaking me for that bright blinding light they are always warning you to stay away from when the reaper comes calling.
It should really be noted that this blog should be “Stuff Bourgeois People Like,” since most of this stuff doesn’t necessarily apply to poor White people, and a lot of it applies to wealthier people of Color. Once again, race and class conflated.
Well written, good stuff nonetheless.
Maybe you should start compiling this stuff for a book or a mini-calendar thing.
😀
This blog is so amazingly racist against white people. It’s awesome. As a white person, I am very proud of the existence of this blog. Anyone who would get offended at the satire of this webpage is an idiot. Keep up the good work.
I hate your website. Stop describing my life.
Nice. Your shit is original and entertaining. Keep up the good work.
this blog is fucking stupid.
Nathan
You know, “white people” as described by this blog are actually a minority in this country…
Does that mean this blog is now racist if it makes fun of a minority group???
the first time I read on this site, I chuckled.
now I’m bored.
instead of white people, you probably should say rich people, or rich hippies. or mythical cliches.
I don’t think our state even has a starbucks.
i drank water from a well for around 8 yrs.
I can’t help but be bi-lingual, its required by the school, but I plan to use it anyways.
really only college kids are obsessed with modern furniture.
have you ever seen a metal concert?
breakups are hard because people who date are dumb
barack is pathetic, but the other choices are rough too
smoking is gay, but coffee smelled good and tasted good right from the start.
but yes, singing funny songs will always be funny
as off target as this blog is for the white people I know (all white neighborhood basically), how in the world is this funny to everyone?
Love ya.
I’m really really white. I have frayed oriental rugs on the floor that I inherited from my mother and the rest of my stuff is from Ikea and Wal-Mart, except for the Lazi-boy, the leather couches from China, and my old teak dining set.
Beat that for class, if you can.
Again, this site gets it wrong.
Modernism = Jewish
As any White person who grew up in upper & upper middle class suburbs can tell you, you CAN SPOT THE JEW HOUSE from a mile away!!!!
Modernism is technically “anti-White” when you get right down to it, only jews prefer the style. Sometimes you will find a Chinese doctor living in a house owned previously be a jew. Do they keep those awful chandliers and mirrors?
“they will forever refer to it only by the designers name. ‘I spend hours in the van der Rohe, just looking through these beautiful books of his work.’”
——
Good Lord, no! Heaven help the tragic train wreck who utters such words. You’ve missed the mark on this one by a mile, my dear CocoPuff. Only an under-educated and hopelessly middle-class public school kind of white person striving to be upperclass would make that mistake. It’s as bad as referring to Leonardo DaVinci as “DaVinci” instead of the proper “Leonardo.” It is a most disgraceful offense — hang your head Sir (or Madame), hang your head in shame.
Ludwig Mies van der Rohe is always referred to in truncated form as Mies. (If you’d spent your time in art history class instead of engineering you would know this.)
Second, Mies would often name his chairs or they would get a name based on where they were originally exhibited. The chair you have pictured is commonly called the “Barcelona Chair” because it was part of a suite made for the German pavillion at the Barcelona Exposition of 1929, although an Expert Level white person may well call it the “Exposition chair” you are not expected to know this. The only correct upholstery color for this chair is white, all others being impure derrivatives. (And it is, quite simply the most perfect chair ever created.) Other designers of the period like Eileen Gray would name their chairs too, whereas some like LeCorbusier would just give an alphanumeric designation. (Note that it is acceptable to refer to him as “Corbu” if you are an Expert Level white person who might own a home of his design in France.) And still others like Marcel Breuer did both.
Unsuspecting white people (and coconuts) must exercise caution when selecting reproduction “Modern” furniture because over the last 80 years there have been a multitude of “inspired by” extensions and corruptions of the orginal, pure form of the chair/sofa/table etc. Anything that does not look exactly like it could have been made in 1930 is a loss of status, taste, and credibility — and woe unto you, should you encounter an Expert Level white person. They will damn you with faint praise faster than you can say, “From Bauhaus to Our House.” A little homework on the esoterica of design can save you from heaing things like, “I would never have expected to see a Barcelona chair extended into a sofa. Hmm.” And there go your little girl’s dreams of Vasser.
God, I’m such a white person.
As other commenters have mentioned, only the clueless refer to him as “van der Rohe”, while really white people know to call him “Mies”. But does anyone know why? Yes– he tacked his mother’s name onto his father’s. What a white thing to do! The only thing more extremely white is to tack one’s *wife’s* name onto one’s father’s, like Dr Bircher-Benner did.
Er, “Expert-level”, it’s VASSAR, not “Vasser”. (I won’t even ask you to spell “Poughkeepsie”…) It’s not a girl’s school anymore, either. They claim that between men and women, there’s no difference, but I say there’s a vas deferens.
TRY THIS WEBSITE WHERE U CAN FIND THE BEST FURNITURE IN ASIA. cheaper with high quality
http://www.ambiente-designs.com
can I show you a picture of a chair that I made?
81 – “Personally, it’s just more fun to see how much these observations irk some people. In many ways, it enhances the joke.”
Yes! Those are the best ones to read and makes the post even funnier.
Don’t you just hate it when actors behave like furniture. Take Ikea Knightly…sorry Kiera Knightly for example…
http://stufffilmcriticslike.wordpress.com/
Cheap white people also like assembling their own furniture, but do a shoddy job in the construction phase and get angry, thus ruining the furniture.
You make me laugh, which is a great thing.
LeishBlog
Allow me to introduce my blog to you: rohitgadi.wordpress.com .
I thought I was being so white by living in Japan, but now I am failing because my furniture is a futon (布団) and a kotatsu (炬燵). Amusing post nonetheless. I suppose I would love to have a piece of Frank Lloyd Wright.
When I was starting out a good couch was one that didn’t have the stuffing poking out of a hole and a lost leg corner propped up by a brick. At least now I can afford one with all four legs intact.
drtombibey.wordpress.com
White people love black people.
Getting Lazy.
Dear Young Mr. Lander,
I have slept on this and have another thought.
Bedroom in 1841 Federal restoration in Down East Maine coastal village – primitive painted barn furniture for the most part)
There apparently was some purchase with my last evening’s hasty, sleepy post #136 on nomenclature. I am not unhappy.
And, while I am almost not quite interested enough to scroll back and reference the post numbers, I shall. Many posts made reference to the protocol of names that white people use for interested designed furniture
A few were wrong even during their corrections, which is always fun but confusing.
A simple example: I think it’s Corbu. The added “U” is the difference between a casual subscriber to Art News (not Architectural Record) and a person who befriended and pays attentions to the way architect students speak whilst one attends another school at the same University.
The architect student at Cornell in the late 1960’s were disturbed by something Dean Kelly said and marched with “Corbu Lives” T-shirts. I know its not much, but it’s how people like me learn.
OKAY….some feedback, People.
See #19 Shades of Tan. ‘Shades’ writes wonderful Tom Wolfey stuff and has a firm grip on what I am humbly trying to put down. Watch for the over-qualified point and do not cross. As you would know, actually dealers who hold shops open and sell furniture do not count. Just know about the stuff but do not make a living in it.
Beware of Trade.
See #61. Brilliant, self-effacing, So White in style who cares about anything but style.
See #71. My personal cultural icon hero in matters of taste. And since I have restored a large Federal and am a male who lives alone…there are other issues. But sweetness, your last paragraph is way too dishy. Be nicer.
See #158. Top honors from my sun room primitive barn painted table. The similar table upstairs was sadly refinished (NOT BY ME) and now has no value, but the one in the sun room where I sit now has huge flakes of laminated paint, about 6 coats thick, falling onto the unvarnished pumpkin pine floors. Absolutely perfect.
I dream about these moments.
So, number 158….please come for coffee. We’ll sit near a window and look across at FDR’s house on that Canadian Island.
btw. When I prioritize some of your efforts in terms of quality, ignore many of you, make remarks and pass out these sort of grade things, I pray that that is not offensive.
This may resonate with a few of you: I am unable to put a halt to this sort of behavior. I am old, smart, comfortable, and white on both sides going way back. So you see, it’s not my fault. More of a tribal thingy.
Warmest personal regards,
Digby
I want a twelve pound gold necklace hanging from my neck, a low rider 65 cadilac, my girlfriend to weigh 280lbs, have all the wrinkles showing, and I want to brag that she has back. Yeah and I want to have a glass of juice from my depression era glass!!! What a lovely way to start the dame, yeah give me a hit off the pipe.
Whole bunch’s of you klumpfs got left out in the cold like Paddy O’Furniture.
Our Intrepid bLog-miester went Meta on your uptight lilywhite, pink puckered sphincters & you fell for it.
Of course, no one would ever refer to Ludwig baby as van der rohe. Learn the game a little bit!
You got played!
How else would we get such precious entries as #158?
Though he earns major points for “A little homework on the esoterica of design can save you from heaing things like, “I would never have expected to see a Barcelona chair extended into a sofa. Hmm.” And there go your little girl’s dreams of Vasser.”
By demonstrating the correct way of upbraiding the Philistine rabble while simultaneously pursuing incorrect spellings of an obvious nature thereby inspiring future corrective entries by Hoi Poi Loi dilettantes.
I, myself, followed the path of the oblique didactic at #20 w/ ‘I luv Meezes to pieces!’
Read’em & weep! That’s whut im talkin about, bitch!
The phrase informs discreetly while using a pronunciation that, while technically incorrect, is nonetheless in wide currency among the strata a cut below Expert Level White People.
Lastly, I must concede a measure of Uber-Cool to Expert Level White Person for his moniker de blog.
It is so cool i am not sure he didn’t just go meta-Meta on moi. 😉
I’m not white… at all… a drop or two of white blood but that’s about it – Horribly westernised but not to this point ; )
Love your blog dude, and anyone who is dim enough not to catch the humour and actually realise who the writer is should just trips away and let the rest of us enjoy it.
Keep it up.
Another idea:
Improv comedy shows. I went to one over the weekend and the only non-white person there was asleep from the boredom!
White people like hummus, they really do
#128 and others: yeah of course this site conflates race and class; that’s part of what makes it satire. As long as the broader culture believes that south asians all own convenience stores (thanks, Simpsons) and black people are (depending on your disposition) inner-city crackheads or climbers chasing the bling and the Alfa (you don’t get to believe both at once–it’s not a multiple choice), then it’s appropriate. The 4th grade study guide to this blog would ask “Why do you suppose white people get to be distinguished in terms of class?”
Extra credit bonus points: research when the Irish and the Italians became “white.”
I was on both the CB2 and West Elm web sites this weekend. Looks like I’m even whiter than my black family members feared.
White people also enjoy spelling and grammar errors – that would be sorely overlooked.
I really love my Herman Miller – Eames Lounge and Ottoman!
HA – No respectable angry white guy would have one of those in his house. Instead they would run a DIY home improvement blog such as http://www.handyguyspodcast.com
Oh – yea, one of the hosts does use a Ergon chair at his desk.
Something else white people love to do is assert their superiority through unfounded analysis of other white people. For example … white people generally feel angry and powerless and tend to liberate their anger by redirecting it at other white people in a condescending tone.
On the opposite end of this spectrum, so big amongst white people that Target has an aisle dedicated to it, is “Shabby Chic”.
I’m sitting on my old eames office chair, which is far more comfortable than all the ergonomic ones,laughing all the way. you guys are great!
i don’t like your blog very much, sir/madam.
Sorry but your site is not about what white people like; it’s about what liberal urban yuppie white people like. But on the positive side, it does make a pretty good statement about the stupidity of stereotyping.
White people also LOVE to be called Crackers and Peckerwoods. I should know, I’m a white person.
All of you people are morons and if you dispute that fact, you freaks can call me me at (212) 659-4495
And black folks like to peel their bananas from the bottom up. This way those pesky stringy things don’t have to be plucked one at a time. Black folks are so smart!
Takes one to know one, Felice Marcy Ho…LOL
Yeah modern is great and all that and it shows that you have “discerning taste”. But modern also means that there is no place to display things properly because everything has to hidden and space has to be “open and flowing”. Where are you going to put your books then, which I presume, if you are middle-class modern-furniture-loving white people, would have tonnes of. Hail the staircase bookcase:http://theworldofm.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/bed-inside-a-bookcase/
sorry. it’s here:
Staircase Bookcase
Here are some ideas for future posts.
1. Correcting people (i.e., pseudo-intellectualism)
Ex., see comment #10 by Nathan:
“You know, “white people” as described by this blog are actually a minority in this country, and furthermore they are endangered since their population grows more slowly than that of other minority groups, or the wrong kind of white people. So, have your fun chronicling their culture while it lasts!”
The keyword to pseudo-intellectualism and correcting people is “actually”. White people LOVE starting off a sentence with that word. “Actually, correction blah blah endless fact-spouting blah blah.”
2. Disproving/Disagreeing with people (which is actually a subset of #1 above)
Ex., see comment #57 by Bob:
“Sweet this one doesn’t apply to me. I like retro furniture..ie: 60s style. Actually modernistic looking furniture for that era I suppose.
Like:
http://cgi.ebay.com/1960s-Mid-Century-Danish-Modern-Sofa-Bed-Sleeper-Eames_W0“
I am surrounded by Them and they try to make me feel like I’m not okay because I don’t like expensive sandwiches and I don’t get wet about expensive furniture or Apple products.
I feel just fine about myself and my food and furniture.
Thank you. I love you.
F all of you! (212) 659-4495 especially if you are black, Mexican, some kind of gook and don’t even get me started on Indians (7-11 type, not Casino type)…….all of you people are a drain on the Nations resources…..die or swim back to where you came from!
Just when I was wondering what you’d write about next, you come up with this one! Although I’m brown, I can identify with almost everything you’ve written and this one, well what can I say, you nailed it on the head. I only wish our city had more stores with contemporary/modern furniture.
You’ve lost me here. I don’t see how this applies to any white people I’ve ever known or am related to. That’s just bizarre that people even do this at all. Like someone said early on, you’re talking class here. Many of your other posts could well apply to people from lower to upper middle class, but this one reeks of the class of people who inherit wealth and have nothing but disposable income. Not even funny or cynical or anything. Just kind of dumb to me.
BTW, you asked for suggestions: “white” people like dogs, cats, horses, family, flowers, food, drink, culture, science, philosophy, music, art, cars, trucks, inventing things, buying things, selling things, religion, atheisism, politics, revolution, drugs, work, sex, movies, vacations, travel, reading, dancing, fighting, peace, love and war.
Ugh. I hate modern furniture. Yay, I’m not as white as I’d feared.
who gives a shit hahah i like ur blog.
Amazing blog!! Reading your blog makes me so excited for the debut of Pop Fiction starting March 9 on E! The show has that same sharp with that I love.
hah
Well not all white people like modern furniture and most expensive furniture that cost thousands of dollars but not just white people buy the name brand furniture you can be and nationality to buy brand name furniture or any thing that is named band you can it depends if you have the money or not you cant not just say just white people like certain stuff when every nationality like almost the same exact thing .
I think Ikea makes some fugly stuff, but it’s cheap! I’m afraid to start buying any of it for fear that I’ll then have to convert all of my furniture to Ikea, since only having one peice of it stands out like a sore thumb. White people like matching furniture.
This is the first and last time I’ll check this blog. It’s full of shit.
Thanks to White Archi who knows that it’s “Mies”, not “van der Rohe”!!!!! His first name was Ludwig.
The type of white person your blog describes does NOT shop at Ikea. Or at least, not once he or she finishes grad school. Ikea is for minorities and poors!
Disgusting.
This blog has become my secret addiction (the only reason I post this comment is because I know it will be buried amongst 100,000 other comments) 😛
After going out with a young lady on Saturday we went back to her place for a drink. Low and behold in the center of her living room was a misplaced and not so attractive looking chair.
If only I would have read this post earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have offended her.
“that chair looks hella old”-me
“Really? I love it, i just bought it for $455”-her
“are you f**king kidding me? you got hustled”-me
___
http://www.lullmengesha.com
white people love the meta-comments being the best part of this blog.
tan crayon,
You are as fine as wine….I think I love you. Smokin hot to the touch! Ouch!!
haha!
this racism is killing my inside!
hahaha!
I love it when white people get discriminated on. They get so upset. I remember my best friend’s ex who is white would go crazy when a waitress at a Chinese restaurant would give him a fork and give us chopsticks. Hahah. He would go crazy and say she was racist.
So for all you white people who come on here claiming you’re going to start your own blog about Mexicans and Blacks, learn how to laugh! This is what most non-whites have been going through their whole life. Try being called a Gook or a Chink your whole life! Or being beat up by skinheads when you’re a 13 year old girl! So awesome!
This blog is genius! You are spot-on. Love it!
This blog is genius! You are spot-on. Love it!
I also love IKEA (but hate going to the stores), I’m not pretentious about the designer furniture places names, but IKEA is awesome, I furnished my entire apartment for under $900!
(left the wrong link in my previous post)
i went through this whole list so far, one by one, as like a 1 point per yes answer, i got 14/79. i will now put “other” down on all demographic surveys.
California liberal whites? Because I dont know any spiritual, sushi eating, environmentalist, vegetarian, Obama supporters in the south or most of the united states for that matter.
I guess what “white trash nascar football” people like is in a different blog
or, the “rich christian rightwing white” blog is another one.
This blog rocks! Dont pay attention to any of the peanut gallery sitting uptight haters!
I do love this site, however it is beginning to teeter on the edge of “too much.” The stuff about expensive sandwiches, coffee, marathoning, gentrification, bottled water, certain rap songs- and any number of the others on the list are great. However there needs to be ring of truth to the subject or it isn’t funny.
Like Divorce- white people do not like divorce any more thany anyone else- Whole Foods- heck yeah! A white a place can not be found. Whole Foods is ripe for satire because it IS so incredibly “white”. That’s what makes it funny. A few of the others are kinda weak, like you are grasping for topics.
keep it real & keep up the good work
I completely agree with the “Whole Foods” comment above. They cater to affluent white people who snub their noses at stores like Ralphs and Vons. Too funny.
http://www.jonesview.wordpress.com
I’m very white, but I only buy Modern furniture in order to jack up the price to sell to the Japanese.
Does that count?
Or does that make the Japanese whiter than me?
I am half white (I mean REAL white) and half Latina and we have a lot of fun in my family making fun of both races. One thing is for sure and the comments on this blog prove it-WHITE PEOPLE TAKE THEMSELVES WAY TOO SERIOUSLY!
Most of this stuff is about a certain portion of white people, applies to some, not to others, but one thing is for sure:
It is hilarious. I love how people write and they are so serious in defending themselves. That’s very white.
This site is fantastic.
I would like to suggest a blog about straight white people who refer to their significant others as their “partner.” I have experienced this many times.
Minority envy?
greatest blog ever…nasty comment authors are obviously feeling the pointing finger…yes, the blog is definately all about your life.
I know nothing of these architectual designers. Who they are, what they’ve created, and yet, I feel this powerful need to acquire a piece of their exquisite self expression in ass comforting form so I too, may one day display to my inferiors my one accomplishment in all of it’s materialistic glory…
THis website is great. All of you people getting upset about anything on here are simply without a sense of humor. I am a coffee drinking, sushi eating, expensive furniture having, recycling, bottled water drinking, dog loving and used to live in Japan white guy. Also am a Marine and live in Texas. This is just funny and if you get offended by this site, then I think you have issues, this is just good clean funny fun.
what about “SCARVES”?
LOL!!!
Good observations the author makes.
However…think about it…are white people (in the sense he/she uses the term) REALLY that bad? Sure, they’re snobbish, elitist, hypocritical and smug people who base social status on things like taste in wine and nice furniture.
But what’s the alternative? The pridefully ignorant, hypocritical, sneering and jealous working-class who idolize simplicity to the point of stupidity (i.e. Larry the Cable Guy), smug in their hatred and overestimation of what they see as “ultra-PC” elements of society and who base social status on outdated representations of extreme masculinity? The black or latino communities who enforce strict religious conformity, base social status on wealth irrespective of taste and are suspicious of ANY kind of eccentricities?
There’s some more stereotypes for you to chew on.
Choose which one is most appealing to you.
Personally, I’m fine being a rich snob 😉
Does anyone read this far down?
yes.
I fail to love such furniture. Must be those lingering Mohawk genes (the people, not the haircut-haircuts don’t have genes).
My husky, however, loves the flavor of designer furniture. As they used to say about Kix cereal “the taste is in the shape.” So, the odd shape (a primary quality as Locke would say) actually improves the taste (a secondary quality). And they say philosophy and designer furniture are both useless. What fools.
Asians like modern furniture more than whites 😛
Duh. All my furniture was free too. I inherited it. Including my Barcelona chair and my Eames lounge. The Saarinen makes a nice contrast to the Queen Anne and Chinese Chippendale. Only new thing is Thomas Moser. Still really smooth.
Have you ever seen modern furniture covered in protective plastic?
too too too too funny. i already have an Eames and a Pei (both gifted from parents when I moved into my first place), the Barcelona chairs (originals, of course), are still at the parents’ house waiting to come my way later in life…
Your blog rocks!!! Wish I’d thought of it!!!!
http://haireality.blogspot.com/
I got a good laugh out of this post. Frankly, as a rich honkey with middle class tastes I sit my butt in a chair BEFORE I buy it. I really could not care less which a-hole “designer” designed it. If it’s uncomfortable, it doesn’t enter our homes. The last item of furniture we bought was a loveseat recliner from LazyBoy. It’s comfortable, will probably last at least the next five or six years and then it’s on to something else. Anybody that is buying designer furniture to “impress” their so-called friends needs to get a grip on reality.
why do some people have to make comments proving that they disapprove of people who have to make comments proving that they disapprove of people who have to make comments proving that they disapprove of people who feel a need to prove themselves in their comments? no one cares about anything…
Anyone know how to contact the owner of this site? He is way funnier than Diablo Cody.
I really don’t know why I feel compelled to post. I was born a poor white child in the late 50’s and grew up in the 60’s on some of this hellish furniture that is so hip now. Nothing like plastic and vinyl furniture to leave that deep groove and rash on the back of your thighs…funny. I definitely have my share of Ikea items… mostly in the basement… and have in middle age graduated to Scandanavian designs. I leave the Design Within Reach stuff to those with too much money… Furniture…the cocaine of the ‘aughts. I do have one DWR item, a lamp that holds all my rechargers and cables inside. White folk love clever stuff. To those who think this site is racist… get over it. Racism is the belief that one race is superior to another. This site is a parody of upscale white borgeoisies culture. It does, however attact some strange posters, some of whom are racist, angry, and frankly bizarre. So if you’ve read this far and and also read the previous 238 posts, please get a life.
I like being white. This blog has helped me confirm that. Thanks!
As opposed to doing a long post, this kind of says it all:
http://harryallen.info/?p=88
Plus, I’ve included some topics on which, perhaps, clander might post.
HA
It’s true. I’m white and have always wanted an Eames lounge chair.
Steely Dan (an incredibly white band) even mentions “The comfy Eames chair” in “Things I Miss The Most” on the “Everything Must Go” album.
Those bastards at Ikea gave us the wrong connector piece to properly assembe our bar stool. Excuse me, I meant our Norm Peterson.
Modernist furniture, as well as the subjects of several other posts you’ve made, is something that yuppies, not white people, like. You were brilliantly insightful with entries like ‘Divorce’ and ‘Being the Only White Person Around,’ and even ‘Expensive Sandwiches,’ but now the majority of your blog focuses on things that really show no wit or insight. You’re choosing things that are too easy, like hipsters and fixies or Asians and rice.
All of the on this site who describe themselves as ‘part-white’ or something similar don’t understand the fundamental rule of ‘whiteness’ — also known as the ‘one-drop’ rule.
If you’re anything but 100% white, you’re not white.
And, the corollary, if you’re not an Anglo-Saxon Protestant, you’re not a WASP, you’re a ‘white ethnic’ which is not in the same category.
I’m 100% white. I think..
– http://wweadam.com (Funny stuff and blog secrets)
@ SuperWhiteQueer (224) – Maybe those straight, white people want something that sounds more committed than “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, but less formal than “husband” or “wife”. I’ve only ever heard “partner” used when the couple are common-law.
it’s also important for said furniture to be uncomfortable to sit on. my parents have a “chair” that is incredibly modern and totally unsittable.
Bozo: Thanks for the “science” – love your hair. I’ll pass your scientific findings on to the Easter bunny and Santa Claus.
OMG!! Is that a V’Soske that you’re writhing on as you foam at the mouth and speak in tongues!?
you’re such a loser.
Can we talk about catalogs?
(Not Peterman. I actually thought the first Peterman catalog that I ever held in my hands was a send up by PJ O’Rourke like the yearbook and the sunday paper thing.)
Can we just talk about garden and outdoor furniture catalogs? They are just asking for it. They are Toxic White.
Did you already do Cracker Barrel?
can i make suggestions here? my coworkers and i would like to suggest that white people like: microbrews, and
subarus!
Great post but you neglected to use the word “piece” when referring to the furniture. As in “that’s an original Herman Miller piece.” White people like to describe their furniture like it’s art. I myself can’t wait to be able to afford a Wasilly chair – a white man’s thrown.
man… seems like this blog is for white yuppies and hip liberals like me and alot of the people i know. But I know alot of white people and my friends and relatives who arent in this category love Trucks and Porn and carpet, and guns and fishing and shit.
wheres that at ?
Come back!!!/Don’t forget loud and awkward Beatles singalongs:-)
Stuff black people like: being openly racist about white people cause they know white people are to reserved and polite in general to retort…
No, we want a retort, because it brings these issues into the light.
Being reserved and polite ==> a white value ==> hypocrisy.
Let frankness reign.
lol! I love how people can’t accept this as satire. How about ‘#80: White People Love Over Reacting’?
what about Pottery Barn furniture? Or better yet, the Target knock-off’s? In fact, knock-off’s in general we love.
These are just some thoughts (just what I was feelin’ at the time!)
I read this and I can’t help but to think that, well, doesn’t this site imply that blacks or other minorities are philistines, which is itself a racist idea. Isn’t that reverse racism in a way? As if black people don’t also like this stuff? By doing that is it reinforcing a negative self-image for black people (or other minorities)? I understand that for comedy purposes, you have to put stuff simply, so it’s not like I’m not laughing with this guy. I just feel provoked somehow.
Y’all should read Obama’s first book (if you haven’t already, I am currently reading it), excellent modern racial commentary. Very levelheaded. I love Barak cause he is the best alternative to Clinton, not cause I am afraid to prefer a white candidate. What else you wanna know? Shit I should start a “what white people really think/Ask a white dude” blog. I’ll tell it how it is, at least from my perspective.
Upper class black people love all this shit too (though they might “keep it real” by eating Fried Chicken sometimes and listening to Aretha Franklin or something). All upper class/elitist love this “stuff,” but not all white people are rich or highly educated.
I mean, this blog has a fair caricature of white people, and I like that it’s provoking me. It is funny, and I good to laugh at myself. And if it promotes a dialogue, all the better.
do white people even call themselves white?!?
maybe that’s why people like S Dot get defensive and upset– just knowing that other people are talking about ‘white people’. They’re like, ‘who are they referring to? Moi? I have never had to confront my race. I’m just me. White, purple, black, polka dotted. What’s the difference? Can’t we all just be colour blind?”
See, I’m not upset. But I think it’s being unfair to minorities. I don’t know exactly how to put how feel about it.
It’s not like taking the piss out of white people is something new, Chappelle did it in every show he did. So did Eddie Murphy and Rich Pryor. It was easily half their material (at least of what I’ve seen).
But you raise an excellent point Canadian Nature Lover. White people think less about race being that we aren’t discriminated against as much. They talk about it in literary theory as standpoint theory, the advantage of the minority is that they are forced to see the majority, whereas the majority tend to be blind to minorities.
Hey, I like my yoga chair.
i don’t think there’s any crude humor here, or anything that would appear racist. It’s not trying to point out any negative stereotypes, but just poking fun at certain things … some obvious, some not.
Herman Miller furniture … yum
#258 You’re right.
This site isn’t so much “White” as it is metrosexual and jewish.
It’s so true… a small piece of furniture I would throw away immediately out of my house in the exclusive “design” brand furniture shops costs thousands of euros… What a crap
white or otherwise, money is factor and therefore since not all white people have that type of money, they spend their life hoping and looking magazines at the prospect of owning a particular piece. Though i think that can be translated into different objects across all peoples and races!
What’s the point of spending all that money on a van der Rohe or a Corbusier when there are so many starving children in Africa?! And don’t you people have mortgages? Pay your houses first before you live the dream of owning something half the population won’t know the hell you’re talking about.
Our family once had this LAZY-Boy recliner. Man that was a great chair.
LMAO!! I love this post! My father-in-law has an Eames chair and it is always referred to as “The Eames Chair”. My husband can’t wait to inherit it one day.
To be fair, DESIGN WITHIN REACH is, I believe, the new retail venture of HERMAN MILLER. And if you can’t casually mention ‘sending the Risom chair back to HERMAN MILLER to be restrung’ or ‘sending 1 of the Eames dining chairs back to HERMAN MILLER to have the back reattached’ (“again” y-a-w-n…), YOU AREN’T AS WHITE AS YOU THINK YOU ARE.
I would switch it to IKEA and CRATE AND BARREL. Or CONRANS, etc. DESIGN WITHIN REACH is the real deal. As you doubtless know, there is NO time when HERMAN MILLER ever stopped making the plywood chairs, so, despite their mid-century appeal, new ones have ALWAYS been available. It is the date that makes the old ones valuable, not the rarity. I think it’s the same with the van der Rohe.
HEY EVERYONE! THIS IS PRETTY FUNNY IF YOU LIKE FUNNY STUFF CHECK OUT OUR BLOG!!!!!!!!
Nailed it on this one
::lies back on original knoll couch::
Lucius Vorenus wrote:
“Their population isn’t “growing” at all – it’s in demographic collapse.
Just like all the other populations in the civilized world:
IQ and the Wealth of Nations
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_and_the_Wealth_of_Nations
List of countries and territories by fertility rate
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_and_territories_by_fertility_rate
The Baby Gap: Explaining Red and Blue
http://www.isteve.com/babygap.htm
Power and the evangelical womb
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Front_Page/FK09Aa02.html”
I hate to interject with any kind of reality check on a comment page for a blog that is so perfect that the joke is lost on so many.. but this comment just begged me to.
I’ll try to be brief:
1. Posting a list of links to controversial books, poorly researched statistics, and editorials does not make for a convincing argument. It just makes you look like the kind of person who believes most of what they read so long as it affirms what they already want to believe.
2. Having lots and lots of babies and no money is not a recipe for revolution. There are dozens and dozens of third world countries (well, actually the whole world is this way to some degree and always has been, but I’ll use obvious examples) where the money is in the hands of the few and the masses live in abject poverty with little intention of doing much of anything about it. Except perhaps trying to establish “street cred” by touting their victimhood.
3. Lose the internet links, take a world history course.. maybe study econ… something. The popular media and sensationalist writers with political agendas should not be your guide to thought.
4. Last time I checked, Republican or Democrat is not a genetic trait. In fact, that one made me laugh. Really! I laughed!
5. White people like to lay out their arguments in bulleted or numbered structures. A neatly sorted set of key points with numbers looks good printed out and set atop my coffee table. Sadly, I have forgotten who the designer is, but trust me.. its simple lines are stunningly serene.
Awesome block but if you are really white and really into furniture you’ll also know, that only an amateur/poser will refer to their furniture by the designer’s name. Instead the actual piece of furniture will be casually referred to by its own name as in: the Egg, the Swan, the PK22 or LC3. Oh, and your walls will be all white so the furniture can stand out.
Anonymous wrote: “What’s the point of spending all that money on a van der Rohe or a Corbusier when there are so many starving children in Africa?!”
Say, did anyone happen to catch the license plate of that giant non sequitur that just ran over me?
Maybe you can get together with the stats post I quoted above and see if you can convert the Africans to Democratic agnostics. Based on those figures, this should solve the children and the starving and the what not.
Okay, one more… I just have to stop giggling for a second to type this… ahem.
“And don’t you people have mortgages? Pay your houses first before you live the dream of owning something half the population won’t know the hell you’re talking about.”
Oh, it would be far less than half of the worlds population. Trust me. Much, much less. And that my dear is more than half of the attraction.
Now, if you’ll pardon me, I have children to think about not having.
this is too funny, I have a Barcelona chair in my house too 🙂
what I love is how rich white people shop at a place ironically called Design Within Reach, with is so not within reach of 99% of people!
love the blog, if anything I would say that maybe it should be called “things privileged upper middle class/rich white people like” but I know that’s a mouthful 😉
White people loves Charles and Ray Eames (specially the lounge chair , and Molded plastic chairs)
They also must have an (Isamu) Noguchi Table, and they will refer to it as an sculpture, not a table.
They also cream their pants when they realize that there is a Vitra or Herman Miller store opening soon in their neighborhood……..
if only i had some moderm furniture
Anonymous wrote: “What’s the point of spending all that money on a van der Rohe or a Corbusier when there are so many starving children in Africa?!”
Ha! Ironic!
But lets compare to those out there (generally NOT white) buying Cadillacs Escalades, upholstering them in Louis Vuitton fabric and decked out with underside black lights, glittering license plate holders, mammoth TV’s for every passenger and grotesquely expensive spinning hubcaps.
Oh no — THAT’s nowhere near as dumb.
Just a little perspective. 🙂
i love this website more than anything in the world.
There is a subtlety here that is missed.
There are those who can afford these things. Everyone hate these people, but they are too easy of a target.
But then there are those whose pleasure in owning the item stems from getting it at a garage sale in mid-winter Detroit for ten dollars.
Oh. These people really burn us up.
We really hate people who are able to overcome their own class ceiling, by digging through the garbage.
Rex, Non-white people diminish themselves by harboring anti-non-white racism that the white people have been working so hard at making them feel for centuries. Not. The. Contrary.
People like that are kind of gross and vulgar, flapping around designer names , bragging about their “stuff White people own”.. Like the poor welfare mom buying 200 dollar sports shoes for a toddler- it’s still being a poseur and wasting money frivolously.
I like furniture so simple and cheap when it starts to fall apart or a kid scribbles on it, you can burn it for firewood. I’ve “dumpster dived /goodwill drop off site scavenged” some really decent stuff, and FREE! Or bought at a second-hand-store- that was hardly used and better quality than I could have gotten buying new for the same price(and yes, I still have all my teeth, I am not “backwoods” , I’ve seen other White people “dumpster dive” as it is called , but there are embarrassed about it. Not me!) . I don’t know what is wrong with the ones who are embarrassed, but they scoot out of there so fast they leave more for me.
Seriously , furniture is not worth going into debt to the Evil Banker Shylocks over. I’m only attached to furniture that has some personal significance. Books are another story, but furniture? Nah, not so much.
I guess it makes people feel better when they can lump others into categories based on superficial characteristics about certain types or groups within a race.
This site is just another problem and does nothing to help anyone other than to further the idea that the collective “we” have “it” all figured out.
Do something real with your time and go help someone by bridging a gap instead of creating one.
I have 8 van der rohe chairs. Hahaha, I am so fucking white!
Hilarious, but Design Within Reach sells the-furniture-that-can-only-be-called-by-the-designer’s-name, not stuff that was inspired by it. Furniture like this was originally made to be seen as ‘art’, not just furniture, and should be appreciated as innovative designs for the time they were created, which were revolutionary. The point of owning an Eames Lounge Chair (which was designed 51 years ago and still looks incredibly modern today) is not to spend several thousand dollars on a chair, but to appreciate the craftsmanship and incredible design of something that has become iconic.
Also, the view of “I like furniture so simple and cheap when it starts to fall apart or a kid scribbles on it, you can burn it for firewood” is partially to blame for all the shit quality of material possessions available today – spend a little more on something made well and take care of it. The cult of disposability is the antithesis of trying to do your part to take care of the environment and live a little greener. Not only does your broken crap fill up the already-overflowing landfills, but how much time, energy and materials are used up making MORE shitty furniture for you to break?
This doesn’t mean everyone has to spend a lot on expensive furniture, but think about and have a little pride in what you DO buy, because if something’s really cheap there’s usually a reason why.
White people loves intellectual properties, so patented designs and signatured stuff are a must. Wait I am Chinese and I like these stuff………..
Just surfed on from tribe.net.
I feel everyone who felt they should reply to this blog.
It’s just a chair.
Can we get over it and move on?
can dwr sell repro’s? i thought there stuff was legit… evincodesign.com sells repro’s and they are 1/3 the price of dwr’s stuff…
I have been shopping for furniture and I started to wonder if anyone that is purchasing the furniture is using it to sit in…or just to look at.
We just had our place “Staged” to sell and guess what?
We now have that “chair” “footstool” and “couch”…..
Too weird,
Actually Design within reach doesn’t make any furniture, they just sell it. All the furniture is made by other companies, and guess what? none of those are IKEA!! And heres another thing IKEA furniture is nothing like Le Corbusier and Mies Van Der Rohe’s architecture or there furniture, it doesn’t even come close. So white people who comment on what other educated white people like and don’t even do a quick glance at what they are actually referencing. Sound foolish…
Wow you hang out with some rich motherfuckers! No surprise there, though.
what do the people do when their dogs pee on their furniture?
A white person worth their salt will never refer to a Mies van der Rohe chair as a “van der Rohe” chair. They would refer to it as a “Mies” chair. First name basis, baby.
#291 Ash:
If you have a little kid or kids around, expensive furniture just isn’t practical, ya know?
I’ve never understood all this white self-loathing. What, are you ashamed that your culture literally wrote the book on virtually every academic subject you could name, and dominated the world through industry and invention while others were busy building mud huts and eating one another? (And did an alarm just go off in your mind? “Oh no, someone just suggested that elements of ‘white’ culture might be superior to other cultures – which is verboten, even if it is empirically true!”)
banksy should be next….
actually dark player, they would refer to it as a “Barcelona chair”, seeing as how it was originally designed for the Barcelona Pavilion. (German Pavilion @ the Barcelona World Fair)
i love this site!
you made me laugh today, although i’ll never apologize for working a stupid non-profit job, majoring in english and waiting until i’m 30 to procreate (hold up, i’m not married, so does that make me less white for a little while?… at least until marriage becomes completely de rigeur, a la all the hollywood celebtrities white people seem to base so much of their lives upon, thinking that on the day they meet angelina at whole foods they’ll be friends?) i may make my own baby food, but buying solely oganic is a joke for most budgets.
mod furnishings do not make for a comfy home. my swedish partner tends to agree… warm, inviting and safe sounds just right.
oops.. changed a few words in that sentence w/o checking the others. i meant “until marriage becomes passe…”
Who do you hang with? Majority of white people can’t afford to be trendy.
DEAR SWPL:
I’m waiting for the “SWPL Coffee TaBle Book”.
Signed
About Renee Ashley Baker
http://reneeashleybaker.wordpress.com
this site is really just a list of things that most black people DONT LIKE.
not the other way around.
F minus.
http://www.garbarrassing.com
now there is a site that everyone would like…
I guess that designer furniture is just the white man’s bling.
Whitey: I got to school, I get a good job, I spend my money on a architecturally pleasing environment (my house), buy overpriced furniture, have my 2 kids and drive a Saab.
Non-whitey: I complain most of my life about how I am being kept down by “whitey”, I steal my way through my 20’s while on crack when “whitey” is at college boozing and learning, I still complain about how “whitey is….. *insert crack pipe rip here* keeping me down”, steal a little more to get me that phat diamond ring that goes over 4 fingers and spells “NIGGA” and keep looking out my window for “whitey” next door to throw out that cat pee smelling chair so I can have something to sit on. If I’m a woman, I have 3 kids with 3 different fathers (watch day time tv talk shows) and if I’m a man, I “just popped a cap in some nigga’s ass cuz he was up in my grill, you know what I’m sayin?, and “whitey” is STILL keeping me down.
Get real. It’s 2008. Everyone can complain about “the other guy” and stereotype “others” – here’s a thought: try improving yourself and working to strip society of the racial hate that keeps dividing us, ALL of us.
Oh and the next time I call my white friend, I’m gonna say “Wuz up honkey?!” and expect him to say “nothin’, just sitting in my Eames”
Hilarious!
http://moveitmoveit.wordpress.com
MinorityWhitey……lives up town! I gotta two holer next to the corn crib and fig tree, syrup bucket next to the bed and cracks in the floor so I can feed the hens. A mule that turns his a!! to work and a black friend that has a white friend that likes to cut holes in flour sacks! And when it comes to them ther furniture designers…..a claw hammer is what I use not a tac hammer!
uh, yeah. i prefer DIY furniture. when i come home from my weekly potluck, i get great satisfaction from resting my head on a “one-of-a-kind” sofa. it makes me much more creative then other white people, furthering my superiority of other white people. this is the kind of thing i need to warrant my lack of a real job.
The picture shows a barcelona chair, which really isn’t modern at all. Nice try.
Go to Ikea on a Sunday…..not a white person in sight yet the most crowded day of shopping!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS HILARIOUS!!! I’m black and I have a Le Corbusier sofa and an Eames rocker that I love, But your words are still very true and funny.
You nay-sayers must not have ever visited Apartmenttherapy.com before.
Au Contraire: “The picture shows a barcelona chair, which really isn’t modern at all. Nice try.”
Um, yes it is. It’s considered the modern classical style. Modern doesn’t mean current. It’s a term for a design period, like Chippendale, Shaker, Bauhaus, or Art Nouveau.
Great job picking out the Van Der Rohe furniture! CLASSIC favorite of interior designers. You should also mention something about Le Courbusier while you’re at it.
….And for your information, every white architect [which is 99.8% of architects] dreams of one day designing their own chair for other white people to treasure.
Just look at the classes offered in architecture school; the furniture design class is ALWAYS full.
Black guy here, and the Eames DVD’s from Netflix are off the hook. Ray was kinda hot yo.
Your article is very informative and helpful for users in furniture, interior home designing. There are other relevant posts, and articles on Modern contemporary home products on http://blog.spacify.com/
haha. Nice post.
As an architect, I really appreciated the Mies van der Rohe reference.
-Benjamin Wey
http://benjaminwey2000.wordpress.com/
Design Within Reach sells expensive, liscensed designer furniture like van der Rohe! DWR must be respected!
It must not be compared to IKEA!
I doubt someone who’s buying designer chairs is buying any of that cheap, poorly constructed furniture from Ikea. They’re good for tchochkes and shelving but the furniture is all crap. And the chair pictured is the Barcelona..surprised no one else id’d it. And it’s funny cause a lot of shit white people like, so do really bougie Blacks. One of my friends is bound and clad to have two of those uncomfortable Barcelona chairs in his new condo…lol.
IKEA West Chester OH opened yesterday – 11,000 shoppers in the first HOUR.
white, black, asian, latino, um, other – pretty much everybody was there. Literally.
I must say…I have many a piece from Design Within Reach…but not one from Ikea…
the person who buys from DWR doesn’t usually shop at Ikea…
I’m a black chic by the way…who loves giggling at this web site while lounging on her Barcelona Day Bed – lit beautifully by her Arco lamp 🙂
blacks like this stuff tooo holla!
ikea and design within reach arent the same at all. ikea sells knockoffs of famous designs whereas design within reach sells the actually authentic furniture.
funny though
Guilty as charged! I confess, I lust after a Barcelona chair in black leather and I have never sat in one and have no idea if it is comfortable or not.
Holy christ I must be the whitest man alive.
I just read this while sitting in my Eames lounger in front of my Noguchi coffee table, and I just finished looking for a good price on a Barcelona chair for my office. I feel like the biggest yuppie in the world.
Dave: You are a fag.
wait i went to ikea and white people are only a 1/3 of the people there? so does this take ikea to the entry where white people like being a minority?
This is definitely more like “what liberals like”. I would know. I’m a liberal.
Look here…
This site is mediocre at best. It is mildly entertaining. Half of the items on this list are garbage. The effort and thought put into this list is pretty embarrassing.
if you want some actual funny entertainment/blog/writing/insightful/great stuff
http://www.garbarrassing.com
go for it.
FYI, that Barcelona chair and stool in your picture are knock-offs!
i almost made it awhile with out being hit hard by any of the posts on this site, but mod furniture got me. fuckk back to self loathing
LOL, my parents even run a “vintage modern furniture” store! I always hated the stuff but they dig it… kind of ties in with the “Having Gay Friends” post, too. Most of their clients are gay couples.
If White America had rejected “european” style as “better”, and embraced Louis Sullivan and Frank Lloyd Wright over Modernism, oh well…..what could have been (better).
I’m a architect and I can’t help myself on this issue though i’m not pretentious about it. Based on this blog my Latina wife is whiter than my pale ass.
so modern = bad taste?
Also custom made sofa’s and upholstered chairs. We love to explain that we couldn’t find what we were looking for, but found “a great little” (there is nothing more pleasing in the White vernacular than to start describing something as “a great little…”) shop that built exactly what we wanted. Then we can go on and on about what makes this furniture so thoughtful and terrific.
versace has a chair for $65K
It looks comfy
This is utter Bull shit.
Yes, white people like Ikea. They love Home Decor. Actually I think everyone loves Home Decor. You can check out how to clean your mirrors and make vegetable row markers at this site which is yes, for white people, but also for everyone else too.
#338 Your kids won’t be white, and they won’t look like you or your ancestors either. Does that bother you in the slightest? Just be honest.
lol..
#344
My wife is Argentian. I don’t know if you know much about that country but it’s like 98% White European descent. She’s of mostly Italian ancestry with some German and Welsh also so my children will look like me and no it wouldn’t bother me if I had married a black or asian woman and my children didn’t look like me because that’s the ultimate in shallow. At least my children will have some cultural identities and won’t be like some of these silly pretentious white people desperate to latch on to other people’s culture.
I feel the need to correct some of the white people’s spelling in some of the comments: It’s “Noguchi,” not ngochi or nogichi or anything else. Isamu Noguchi was also a sculpturer. He also designed many stage sets for Martha Graham.
Would you white people please learn to spell the things you covet. Geez, I think I’m going to faint onto my Le Corbusier sofa if this keeps up!!
#21-22 You White Architect get one more Whiteness-Point for ignoring the Spanish language. It is not officionando, it’s aficionado
This is one of the best sites ever! Keep it up…you make me laugh everyday! I have sent your URL to all of my friends!
How to tell if one bought good furniture? Have wild hard pounding sex and if nothing breaks, then it must be good enough to own. IKEA furniture is ok as long as it’s wooden.
Nude Twister anyone?
Earlier, I made a comment here (#6), before I knew anything about modern furniture. The unfortunate thing is since reading about all these different ideas of furniture, I’ve gone out purchased a sofa set from DWR. I didn’t get it before. I recant any disparaging comments I may have made about modern furniture.
Mies van der Rohe is a good one to know for crosswords. I’m seeing this sight for the first time, so I don’t know if you know this already or not, but white people love crosswords. Not sudoku, that much, though.
I have the last word
I fail to see how half of this stuff is white-specific. I mean, it’s more like “stuff yuppies like” than anything else. Also, you write like a white person. You use correct grammar and spelling, and I can understand the words. Additionally, the other half of the things you list are quite humorous to me. Since I’m white, I think this site should also be on your list.
I think some white people are starting to like saying “it’s because Im white isn’t it?”
I live in the south and my son goes to a traditional inter-racial middle school. He has a black teacher that even I admit is just “mean”, he says she never calls on the white children, during an open house I noticed the favortism shown between the black and white parents.
I taught my son not to be racist growing up, because I wasn’t…but more and more how come lately I feel like the outcast, the one that needs to be alotted for?
I finally got that call from school that my son was being racist. The teacher in question finally called on him and told him his answer was ridiculous, he replyed…”it’s because Im white?”.
I was actually sort of proud.
Seriously! What is up with these white people…
Korean girl married to a wonderful white guy. We have one of those ugly chairs in red. He begged until I recluctantly said yes…
These particular white people are better classified as Yuppies.
is this supposed to be considered as true? Not where i live or like the people i know
Next time I see a homeless whitey, I’ll give him this URL, so he can identify… with this homologated generic crap.
Nicole: You are doing your child a disservice sending him to that school. You need to pick up your parenting game and get him out of there, and to an environment where he is focused on education, not anti-white indoctrination.
read this: http://vdare.com/baldwin/080318_gw.htm
Wake up
Hahha… I think you give white people too much credit. You should say educated, designers, or the elite. Cause not all white people are created equal if you know what I mean.
Other things white people like:
1. Ugg Boots
2. The “F” sticker from Famous Stars and Straps
3.Saying the word “Like” in place of other words in the English language
WE want to be like Corbusier and Eames too!
We made a transforming cube, please check it out and maybe digg it.
http://www.williams-england.com/interiors/elderscion.php
http://digg.com/arts_culture/HALF_chair_HALF_Table_Cube_Modern_Furniture_from_Elder_Scion
LOL!
I’m the only person I know who likes modern furniture. 😦
I can’t even find any people (of any color) here in the pacific NW, everyone buys tradiational looking houses with fake “hand carved Italian styled” (engraved by someone in China) furniture.
For all the white people that say they do not like modern furniture, there is an explanation.
I’ve been informed that the George W. Nascar Mullet types prefer plaid or microfiber to any other brand or type of furniture out there. These are also the same folks that are buying up the Sauder stuff on craigslist, and listing stuff as Modern when it’s really crappy 80’s or 90’s stuff in bright tacky prints- like red and green with geometric shapes. They sell crappy bedroom sets on there listed at $1200 with only one nightstand lol…
I like the Highland House stuff, myself, not modern but functional. Ralph Lauren has a cool Joshua Tree Armoire. And I’m with the used stuff-the thing is better if it’s an oddball thing you’ve found:)
Heavens, no. You don’t call it “the Eames.” You call it “the LCW” or “the 670.” Otherwise you’re just name-dropping. White people can smell name-dropping.
Now, I’m addicted to this. Oh, the memories this blog resurrects. Miles loves to talk about his eccentric grandmother who gave away the 8 Hepplewhite dining chairs when his grandfather was in Costa Rica. When the old boy returned to their place in Wellesley , everything was Danish Modern furniture , Isamu Noguchi lamps, and hidous Bernard Buffet prints. He had a brain aneurysm on the spot ,but he left her a tidy sum.
Great f*cking observation!
totally agree with what you said, rockie, but i wish you had used grammatix (it’s “their prejudice”). it’s funny how people get angry about this site. a lot of visitors have the same reaction until they settle into it a bit. we all need to learn to laugh at ourselves. comics make their livings calling out racial stereotypes. and there are other blogs that poke fun at race. has anyone seen “ask a mexican?”
i also agree with rockie’s comment. there will always be the one poster who’s all pissed off and gives the “let’s start another blog that does blah blah blah.” those touchy souls need to get a sense of humor. plus, there are other blogs that do poke fun at people of other races. has anyone heard of “ask a mexican?”
i’ve bought a lot of stuff from ikea and none of it has broken. maybe you need a little more training with your allen wrench. 🙂
Don’t forget the furniture is described as “ergonomic” and is designed by an “artistic” designer (think Ugoff)
Or if people can’t afford modern furniture they’ll just head to over IKEA.
Now way…I hate modern furniture and I’ve seen tons of the stereotypical modern furnishings in black folks homes.
I think the country style furnishings is more of a white only thing.
This one should be removed from the list.
Hating modern furniture is the new having modern furniture.
I can’t even find any people (of any color) here in the pacific NW.
Count your blessings.
This is where the white in me takes a back seat – I HATE THAT CRAPPY FURNITURE. It’s just something white people think they are supposed to like (much like Sushi; no one truly enjoys raw fish).
In reality, the people with this ugmo stuff in their homes dread having to look at it every day.
I’m spoiled, my dad makes all my furniture so everything in my house is unique and handcrafted in the USA.
Ooo, that’s another thing white people like – telling others how superior their stuff is in comparison to whatever is currently being discussed. And I’m okay with that. Because my stuff IS better!
Yeah, my daddy makes me a lot of stuff too. I have a whole playpen downstairs, with all kinds of kewl stuff. Daddy likes to tie me up and smack my booty everyday. It feels sooooooo good. Then he makes me spank his monkey. It don’t look like no monkey but he makes spank it anyway, really hard until it pukes. Then he gets all puffy and ties me to the bed down there until a few minutes when puts the smelly rag on my face an I get all silly and his friends all jam their monkeys in my face and poo poo. It’s sooooooooooo grosss! But it’s mine and my daddy told me never ever eat the nasty fish or put my nasty fish on the couch cuz he bought that crap in germanie an it cawsts a lot an he didn’t pay good money for me to get my smelly bits all over the dam place dammit.
What’s ugmo? Is that like a ho ho? Is it smell and bleed all over onced a month?
Dude, thanks for this heads-up on the ugliest overpriced crap I’ve ever had to look at in upscale retail stores. I always wish I could just walk in and say, “Is there anything here that someone can actually sit on?” Of course, I would be hauled away by security — another thing that über-inclusive white people have at their disposal.
It’s amazing how cool the stuff looks in the store. Then, you get it home, put it together, and it looks like a bookcase cobbled to together from the rotting fence posts your neighbor was throwing out.
Doobie,
The same thing happened in Atlanta. But despite all that hoopla, those with knowledge about furniture quickly realized the shelving was the thing, NOT the furniture which a discerning eye can quickly see is cheap crap.
Ken
all my furniture is from the dump. silly white people throw out the most amazing stuff and when their designer made crap falls apart, which weall know it does, they go to pieces,, literally.
I’m white.
Give me a fricken Lazy boy.
That’s not an accurate statement, as Mies is not his first name, it’s part of his last name. His first name is Ludwig, Ludwig Mies van der Rohe. In fact, his real name was Ludwig Mies, and he later added the ‘van der Rohe’ to emphasize his Dutch heritage in an effort to give him more cred in the popular de Stijl movement at the time (of which, Piet Mondrian was also a prominent voice). If you are going to use elitist slang in referring to the piece by it’s designer’s last name (say, a chair by Charles Eames, and referring to it as ‘the Eames’), along those lines, when referring to a chair designed by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, you needn’t shorten his last name from Mies van der Rohe to ‘van der rohe.’ That just doesn’t make sense, it’s like referring to a Pollock as a ‘llock.
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Justice, Equality, and Truth?
http://www.survival-international.org
Could you be any whiter?
I think they actually pointed that out here multiple times. None the less, that was a nice call out.
At least you don’t like both antiques AND modern furniture. I have seen people try to combine the two to make the ugliest room/house. The sad part is that if they stuck with just one, it would have looked extremely nice.
They’re talking about upper-middle class white people
That are angst-riddern (Thanks Shades of Tan)
Real white people would find out what the name of the chair is. For example, the chair pictured is called the Barcelona Chair, because Mies designed it to go in the German Pavilion at the World’s Fair in Barcelona in 1929. Everybody knows that white people who want to be architects ALWAYS refer to him as “Mies.” Anyone who just says “van der Rohe” looks like an idiot, and people that say “Mies van der Rohe” look like they are trying too hard.
i like cheese
I am so glad I don’t live in Los Angeles.
I have always wanted a Barcelona chair! I got such a thrill when I saw one in the Conran Shop last weekend (such a white store here in the UK).
Yet again, I am so white.
Hello Micheal,
Do you live in a cave where all the rocks match up?
Get a life and welcome to the 21st century.
Asmauwi
Hello Micheal,
Do you live in a cave where all the rocks match up?
Get a life and welcome to the 21st century.
Asmauwi
ROFL
Those Mies van der Rohe chairs were all over the college I attended. I have sat on park benches that were more comfortable. I think they look nice and they are probably more comfortable than Frank Lloyd Wright’s chairs.
Architects think everything is about visuals.
Like Bang and Olufsen stereos. LOL
um
if you read these posts and dont laugh then you dont get it, and by commenting in a manner unrelated to the material you just make the white people (yuppies) feel better about their status over you ha ha ha, yeah and if you dont know that is the Barcelona chair by Mies (no van der Rohe) then you will not survive a cocktail party for more than 20 mins, if you say it is less comfortable than a park bench you will be ejected and never invited to 80’s night, ever.
{{{ by commenting in a manner unrelated to the material you just make the white people (yuppies) feel better about their status over you ha ha ha, yeah }}}
Oh, I’m so upset.
um
Mies designed my campus and used to teach architecture here. Everything here is rectangular and stainless steel, but people go nuts for it.
iit.edu
Yeah white people like Nowells here in Raleigh… A LOT.
I’m half-white, and I have no clue which architects lived in the 1930s. Maybe I’m not white enough.
I have something of an aversion to modern furniture; I want my home furnished in ultra-Indian style, à la Bombay Company. Right now, though, it’s furnished in use-what-we-can student style.
I just pissed my pants laughing! My wife and I were picking out furniture for our new house and I told her that I really liked the white Barcelona chairs that she had picked out. I went on to ask her if she was familiar with the Eames Lounge to which she laughed and said that it would look ridiculous in the same room as the barcelona chairs.
Poor Eames. Funny, his lounge is cheaper than a Barcelona Chair (which can really only be purchased in fours and with the table).
Was this a perfectly white decision?
Any advice?
By the way, I had no idea what a knob I can be until reading this site — thank you.
tessss
http://www.mbrputra-art.com
white chick and I prefer antique old wood stuff. Anything before the 1900’s. I dislike chrome, metal, brass and glass crap. Maybe in the back of my mind, I’m thinking, in bad times, I could warm my house with wood? Who knows, but I’d guess it’s the survivor in me speaking out, go wood, you can burn it, you can cook on it, yea, go wood, have a picnic.
I’ve enjoyed your insight on this site, but I think you’ve missed the mark on this one, big time. White people’s tastes in decor vary widely and most fall into the tacky category, depending upon the region in which one lives.
I think you could have been more accurate by saying “white people like granite counters” or “white people like Sub-zero refrigerators”. I think these are funnier cliches to make fun of. And the fact that white people will go into debt to have these features in their homes.
One of the more funny things white people do is put in tiled granite counters in their kitchens when they can’t afford a slab stone counter. They think that they will impress other white people with their “granite”, however it actually does them more harm in social circles because their white friends now know they couldn’t afford the genuine deal.
Back to my point, implying that modern furniture lacks design value, and is somehow only for white prestige, misses the mark. It also hints at jealousy of those who can afford good pieces of furniture.
Good taste in furniture need not be that expensive there are some great designs at reasonable prices, I often choose unusual designs that can be less expensive than you think, a friend actually has conservatory furniture in the lounge that he bought at auction and it actually looks very good, suprisingly. You just need to take the time and make an effort to look around.
I like Shawn’s comment about just referring to almost anything as ‘mid-century modern’. Nice tact! If you can just remember a few designers names (Hans Wegner, Harry Bertoia, etc) you will have this approach mastered!
Great post, look forward to hearing more. Amazing to see how upset people get over a Blog post about Furniture. I guess it takes all kinds.
Stumbled on this site while doing research on barcelona chairs for an article I have to write…came up in a search…spent the last hour reading comments!!! I’m white, have one black daughter (five other kids…white)….single working mom who furnished my house with the rich white people furniture left for curbside pickup and getting used stuff from friends for the last 25 years or so (before I broke my back). I hate modern furniture. I hate writing about modern furniture. I have soooo totally seen the people you’re writing about…I’m over it…I have better things to do with my money…well, I have to get back to writing like I’m a rich person or something..just want to say I love your site!!!! And it’s great company party advice for us poor people too! I wish I kept in touch with my gay friends who could help me write these articles…
I enjoyed your post and I’m one of the people you are writing about…
I’m a white person who loves mid century modern, post modern or what ever you want to call it, furniture.
I’ve loved it for 50 years! Way before it was cool to love it!
Wow, I’ve actually begun using this stuff on white people and it really works.
“I’m a white person who loves mid century modern, post modern or what ever you want to call it, furniture. I’ve loved it for 50 years! Way before it was cool to love it!”
^^White people like liking things before they are cool.
White people never refer to a “van der Rohe” chair. It’s a “Mies” chair, which displays an easy, almost jocular intimacy, as if one has been best buds with ol’ Mies since you were were students together, or if Mies was an old but fondly remembered boyfriend.
You call that chair “Mies” ,the way you call your cat “Mittens”.
If you were blindingly white, you’d call your cat “Mies”.
The Onion (Hey! How come that’s not on the list!) did a Sunday Magazine parody of this once; Ugly Scandinavian Furniture You Can’t Afford accompanied by a cover picture of a piece of furniture (I think it was a chair, but I’m not sure.) that looked more like an abstract sculpture than a chair.
I just founf this information:
True craftsmanship is timeless. Witness Mies chair, inspired by the furnishings of the great pharaohs of Egypt. Its sweeping, one-piece stainless steel legs are topped with high quality quilted, black grain leather. The dense foam padding underneath is giving, yet resilient, creating a fashion statement that is as classic and timeless as it is comfortable.
BTW Design Within Reach doesn’t “make” any furniture, the just sell them.
Cheers.
does it count if i acquired it at no cost (old lobby chair at agency that was redecorating) and it’s all worn out because it’s my dog’s favorite chair? am i simply guilty of whiteness since i knew to ask for it because i went to an art/design college?
i think i just answered my own question by feeling apologetic (#55) and implicating myself in #s 26, 34, 47, 53, 72 and 81 in two sentences. plus i’m typing this on my beloved macbook (#40) while sipping a precious coffee (#1).
grit you are clearly some sort of White shaman. well played!
You are hysterical – choking on my coffee!
Ha! So true!
Just so it’s abundantly clear, I bought my grandson a Stokke bassinet/crib combo. Not only is it gorgeous, it’s also practical. Hang the cost!
I never knew quite how white I was :S
(typing this at my 20′ iMac on my Panton S chair… I try to alternate between it and the Eames Eiffel)
and im sipping back on a Lavazza straight from the Gaggia Cubika I just had to have.
My God blog, how white am I?
I had a cat called Pierre, named after L.A architect Pierre Koenig
Some white people call it a Barcelona chair in reference to its premier at a World’s Fair exhibit.
I enjoy Ikea. Sorry I’m blinding you all with my whiteness.
You can find this chair at this link http://www.kmpfurniture.com/fire_collection/category_43/product/boltrona_chair_leather_48.html
Bombay Company, they went out of business for a reason…
I, Anna Smith, am so excited to have gotten my bedroom refurnished by Twiice International (http://www.twiice.com/). I wanted the kind of furniture for my bedroom that would reflect modernity in every curve and every hue. Twiice International has provided me with a brilliant modern style statement. I strongly recommend Twiice International to those living in South Africa.
Anna, if you’re being sarcastic, I love you and would like to propose marriage. If not, forget I said anything.
I had to read the description to understand that one. I can’t afford it no matter how white I get.
I found a lot of furniture in the back lane, discarded by the University students who live in my immediate neighbourhood, mostly IKEA. A bit of cleaning and I could furnish the three bedrooms I decided to rent to the better crowd, preferably graduate guys. I own a very large house. Unfortunately, only one or two of the 40-odd students who have lived here since 1990 have noticed the better furniture that I keep in my own quarters.
I remember reading in the Preppy Handbook back in 1981 or 1982 that the Upper Class does not care dor modern furniture, Unless they are very cosmopolitan, I would agree with that.
If you have an Eames lounge chair you are set and will be admired by other whites.
next to Eames chaise lounge, by Vitra of course
Ah yes, but here we’re talking about those who aspire to upper class, i.e. yuppies.
There’s an important distinction between those who care and those who can afford not to care.
i just want to ask a question and i know the majority of people reading this will assume that i am exceptionally dumb however i am still going to ask it “why is this website called stuff white people like”, is this referring to what i think it is or do i need to read between (some) the lines?? if it is what I think it means i am absolutely floored, shocked, I am in complete disbelief. So sad that someone created such a website and to make matters worse, people are making comments on it. I only came across it because I absolutely love looking at furniture on-line (that’s what happens when you live in the country where there are very few furniture stores).
Anyway, if i have got it all wrong, please let me know.
Read between the lines. The name of this site is “Stuff white lefty psedo-intellectuals like.” This site is satire on how this group always tries to seem hip, trendy, cultured and smart when they’re really just blowing smoke. Even the name of the site is poking fun at the pseudo’s – nothing will drive them crazy faster than telling them they’re too white.
The humor is also in the supposed purpose of the site. As a joke, it assumes non-whites reading this blog want more white friends (because they’re so great to have).
With this joke in mind (to get in the white sphere and gain white friends), this site advises you to buy a pea coat, play ultimate frisbee, and invite a white person over to your condo (in the newly gentrified area of town) to have some organic fair trade humus, coffee, or some beer from a micro brewery to impress them.
To really impress them, put on a classical music CD or a soccer match. Although they may not personally like these things, they know they are “supposed” to like it and will play the part.
white people love them some Ikea too 😉
Common you call it, “The Barcelona!”. Also, “…Mies van der Rohe and Le Corbusier designed iconic modern furniture that has inspired virtually everything made by Ikea and Design Within Reach…”
I don’t know if this is necessarily true, but who knows. A lot of stuff designed for IKEA was inspired off of award winning furniture. Sometimes I would say they were inspired, they just flat out copy!
Check this article out, it shows how IKEA copied some Spanish designers:
http://bcndesign.narotzky.com/2008/09/26/ikea-copies-spanish-design/
Design Within Reach sells officially licensed furniture, the real deal stuff, but not vintage. So, saying that DWR “designed something” doesn’t make sense, most of what they sell could not be simply referred to as a “chair”. You guys are leading the public astray, and a non-white would be humiliated to bring this up in conversation with a white modern furniture lover.
Get your facts straight…
I always felt that this was written in the way of a guide for non-white people so they can easily take advantage of “white” people. Not to just make friends.
George,
The group you describe are the “right kind of white people” discussed elsewhere on the site. The rest of white people are the “wrong kind of white people”.
“The wrong kind of white people” generally live OUTSIDE of the Northeast, California, and Miami. They also might vote Republican, own a truck or not enjoy paying taxes.
Hope this clears up any confusion.
– Punch
Floor model sales are key. I can’t stress it enough. And I’m not sure if it gets you admiration because no one really cares but it will get you laid. Not only on by white women but also on asian women. Oh yeah, the Van der Rohe at the top of this page is so played [irony] – most white/asian women will ignore it. It’s in too many condo lobbies.
Walking around IKEA and pretending to be hip while actually just interested in looking around and being in the air conditioning and wanting cheap food is one of the best things ever. Summer days without A/C
Well, Mies was actually his *last* name (at least the first part of it), so it’s not like referring to him by a pet name. His first name was Ludwig. Full disclosure: I learned this in an architecture class at an Ivy League college.
A sculpturer? I think the word is sculptor.
So I’m not the only one?:O The air conditioner in my car is busted, what can I say? And IKEA is huge. Its prime waste-time-in-air-conditioned-place walking ground:P
Although just about all of my furniture is from IKEA.
Man, the best part of these posts are the automated Google ads that come up. I just get done reading a scathing ridicule of something, in this case modern furniture, and right there is an ad for modern furniture. Beautiful!
compliment of the day,
We the Leon model academy are here by to contact your company in respective of the new developments in our new school sit which going on in Cameron here
we need some of your products ,which we will use in furnitures our new sit here in Cameron.
If you can handle this business contact us immediately here in uk.
Thanks
Chief Executive
MR leon vera.
+ 447 02 4012 759
Hee! Can’t wait to see the “furnitures” on your new “sit” Mr. Nigerian Scammer!
I submit that ‘white people’ like hardwood flooring, preferably made from some rapidly disappearing variety of tree found only in impoverished nations. It’s what brings ‘warmth and character’ to the home. What better way to say ‘neuvo-antique’ than a carefully aged, rare wood floor? Imagine the quiet ‘oohs and ahhs’ sooshing amongst the guests at your MoveOn.org “Stop Global Warming” webinar house party! Join in the camaraderie as you and your friends decry the senseless deforestation of our planet’s lungs – the tropical rainforests. And if someone spills?? Not to worry, it’s one-swipe easy to clean up, thanks to the impenetrable Dupont finish you special ordered and your Swiffer!
I hereby submit that white people also like Swiffers…….
We have those exact same chairs in our (ultra-green, organic-jute-and-cotton-carpetted) office! Yup. Most of us are white.
You want Modern furniture… How about a wooden Spool that had 1 mile of cable on it … and some stools made of Old Milk Crates…. Who can forget the Classic Ive got a Bookshelf made of Cinder blocks and Ply wood
To all the real clowns on board.. I love Modern furniture, but
I usually shop for it in my White Hooded Robe with a torch
in hand, it gives me that mighty White edge…LOL
nice article really usefull thanks mate
Hahaha. I like the last paragraph the most! Nice man. But does white people buy a chair from a 1930s architect nowadays? I hope they’re not because although the chair has its own antique value, it lacks of style.
DWR only sells the real deal and all their “chairs” have names. and price tags to match
Modern furniture gives you the feeling comfortable and innovative lifestyle, with its sleek and aesthetic designs that separates it from other traditional furniture, modern furniture surely is one of the hottest trends in homes today.
It looks really great, nice article really useful thanks.
thanks for this great post and thanks for sharing this information.
so if i own can somehow own a piece of vintage modern furniture, would i be the ultimate white person?
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Yes, of course. I have a couple of Panton’s myself…
Oh right. Guess lumpy antiques or shapeless crapola from the chain furniture would be preferable, then. And maybe a stained shag pile rug… or perhaps I should just go with bare concrete slab?
Well, Its all dreamy stuff, and i had to buy all those modern furniture for my new house and damn it was hell lot of expensive.
That’s funny.
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The bare concrete slab is called Brutalist/minimallist and you will be the whitest Helen in town. Great idea. Respect. Great for placing a John Pawson book somewhere on the slab that the interior designer/shopping consultant recommends.
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Racism is rampant in all cultures.
There is still slave trade among Arab states, the slaves being mostly black Africans; the tribal leaders in Africa are the ones who sold their own people to the English and others. It is not just racism involved but pure greed and false pride in people; it is their sinful nature running rampant over their souls and their spirits.
There is not answer to racism until one has a change in world view; only a Christian world view will heal a racist heart and mindset; only a Christian world view will heal the pride of heart so prevalent in all cultures and countries, including those on this blog who think they are not racist if they say they are not, or think they are not; racism is a form of pride. You can be proud you are not racist, so you are a fallen being, too !
Now if some say the Bible preaches racism, it does not. It teaches us that people have had a fallen nature and believed a lot of evil things they did were not evil. A true conversion to christianity will cause one to have a new heart and mind; you will not think more highly of your selves than you ought to; you will love others as you love yourself. Anything less than this does not show the fruit required to claim Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
Nope…a change in world view is the only hope of humanity no matter where you are from in this world.
“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” -Mahatma Gandhi
I would lie to say that I, myself, am Catholic, but when you say that the only way to end racism is for everyone to be Christian, I laugh a bit to myself. The British are “Christian” (or at least claim to be such), yet have oppressed, murdered, enslaved, and discriminated against the most people ever effected by any regime in human history, many of them (such as the Irish), also very Christian. We ought to accept people, no matter what their religion, and not put conversion as the price of equality. I, personally, think that the world would be a much better place if everyone followed the words of Christ. Even if you don’t believe Him to be God, I think that most people can agree that “love thy neighbor”, “turn the other cheek”, “help the poor”, and “let he who is without sin throw the first stone” are all pretty good lessons. Now, back to that Gandhi quote. So many who call themselves “Christian”, are not truly so, as they do not follow Christ. A true Christian would accept people for who they are, not try to force their will upon them. Talking to someone to try to convince them to convert is fine, that’s the intellectual right of all men, regardless of religion. However, murder and oppression are not. Especially not in the name of a God who preached the exact opposite (and was, Himself, oppressed and murdered). A non-Christian can be a good person. Gandhi was a MUCH better person than men who called themselves Christian (George W Bush, Oliver Cromwell, Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, et cetera). Now, one could safely say that these men are NOT Christian, being murderers, tyrants, and the like, but they still claim(ed) to be such, and, thus, we must be wary. And, in response to a sentence above, we really won’t be able to get past a lot of wrongs until we love others MORE than we love ourselves, REGARDLESS OF RELIGION. A Muslim is no less a man than a Christian, a Jew just as much human as a Hindu, an Atheist is no more or less than a Buddhist. I have ranted for far too long. I like to think of myself as a reasonable radical Christian. In this world, someone has to be.
why did you choose this venue for your sermon? Or do you just unload it at any opportunity, however ill-fitting?
Yes, you would be the ultimate white person. Let us follow your example.
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I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on things like modern furniture.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
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White or black aside, the furniture design is actually quite unique. I’m sure that anyone will enjoy have it in their house, no matter what their race and backgrounds are.
tl;dr
Um, just to clarify, Design Within Reach doesn’t manufacture their furniture like Ikea, rather DWR is where you might go to buy an actual Van der Rohe or whatever other midcentury classic, that’s why it’s expensive, because they’re authentic pieces. You’ve kinda got it wrong in your blog. Funny stuff though!
Um, you’re wrong. Design Within Reach manufacturers over-priced knock-offs of mid-century modern furniture. They sometimes even pay for the right to use the original designer’s name, but their stuff is never “vintage” – it’s all recently manufactured.
Old furniture is the “in” thing for those loaded with money but lack melanin. I can find a whole bunch of old furniture discarded for awhile in any vacant lot in the Cal. desert. Go on and find lounge chairs, sofas, couches, drawers, TV sets, radios, fridgerators and lamps in between bushes or trees. Fun to go hiking…and the free treasure hunt awaits you+
What the hell you’re trying to sale? Nuclear weaponry to the US CIA? No thanks, we don’t do nukes, the American people can sell our factories (and jobs) to you Russians. How about capitalism? The best thing from America with love since McD’s put an end to 3-hour long bread lines. +
IKEA is Swedish, buy American in the Mathis Bros. stores in the Western US. They opened a store in Indio (where I live) near Palm Springs and has a large distribution warehouse for trucks to pull in and bring out the furniture sets. I doubt they are made in the US, but Mathis Bros. company does well in an economically troubled area in these hard times.+
Yes, Yes, Yes, I admit it…..this is the whitest thing about me. I do major damage to my wallet everytime I go into Ikea. This is the whitest thing about me…That and Indie Music….I’ve grown to except that about me……(actually, our Ikea here in TExas gets alot of business from Mexicans. Rich Mexicans also like modern furniture, so I don’t know if I agree with this one….. I think ultra-white people go “antiqueing”. Now that is WHITE.)
I like it because it feels less cluttered, it’s easier to clean, the basic colors are easy on the eyes, and it usually is space-saving. That’s why I like it.
Wow. The fact that you are confusing the furniture designed by Mies and Corbu with a few Lazy Boys and a dining room set you found out in the desert proves that this post went completely over you head.
why do I use so many names? I wanted to keep my beloved Micheal D. name untouched, but those nigras got to me.
Yoink
yoink
yoink
my name is soiled forever. +
Y-0-I-N-K!
You could also add Mission style furniture to the list. We don’t have an IKEA up here in Alaska, so I had to opt for Mission style. I finally bought a “piece” that I had dreamed of for years – a Morris chair! It is absolutely gorgeous. Everyone complains that it is uncomfortable and that they slide out of it when sitting in it for more than 2 minutes. The comfort of my family and friends is of little matter because I have finally “arrived” now that I own a Morris chair!
In all fairness, I once knew a Filipino with an Eames Chair, a fact he would never let you forget.
However, unlike white people, he lit up like a christmas tree when afforded the chance to tell the story about the deal he got on it.
Hahaha I used to work for Design within reachs distribution center, and used to work all the warehouse sales for the discounted furniture. I can tell you about 40 percent of the people that purchased Items were white, about 40 percent asian, and 20 percent other races, and of the whole pack 70 percent were gay. Yes I am white, yes I have a noguchi table, a eames lounge chair and ottoman, and a uber expensive bed and mattress from DWR but I didn’t pay anything for any of it, perks of the job. Would I pay the prices they want for any of it? Hell no I would go to a cheap place.
pinche narco.
all the topics that involve whites wasting alot of money on worthless shit makes me wonder…are white people mentally retarted? why do they do stupid shit like buying expensive uncomfortable furniture?
No. We actually work and have money unlike you. 🙂
What is with the love of Ikea? What disposable crap. I know people who make a big point of buying locally grown food, but their house is outfitted in Ikea almost exclusively. Newsflash: It is made in China. It is not built to last. And it is not comfortable. It is not as as stylish as you imagine either. I would say it is about a half a step up from Target furnishings.
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I love Ikea and Modern furniture! I feel like the design of this is an important part of white culture. All the modern furniture stores in our town are referred to as ‘scandinavian’ furniture stores.
When I walk into these stores I feel at home–I feel proud of the design and beauty and that white people do have something to offer the world. I do wish that Ikea furniture was better built, but the fact is that Ikea is really a knockoff of much finer furniture built in the real ‘Scandinavian’ furniture stores.
I know that the decor in homes of non white people has distinctions that come from their culture–and in the same way modern and scandinavian furniture is distinctly white.
This site is killer diller.
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In fact, some people kill for a the designers or those who already the rounds of thrift shops. Undoubtedly much value is in an authentic <a title="Louis Vuitton Replica"
your dumb your sites dumb stop spamming the comments board
i’m white and i hate modern furniture.
i think its thee ugliest furniture put there.
Modern furniture is usually minimalist and cute. Minimalist is cool.
There are so many simmilar designs for the barcelona chairs. I was looking at know and also found the same replica of good quality at http://www.avetexfurniture.com/ Just don’t know which one to purchase because quality is about the same. If anyone can give me advise.
You mean “step down”
LMAO
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I really like some of that stuff, cant wait to get an eames lounge and ottoman, its like appreciating art, guess im growing up.
your both right, its new but its made by original manufacturing co. so its vintage design like triumph making bonneville motorcycles, same as 1960’s..
haha
I hate modern furniture! I like organic, raw designs better. Esp. vintage furniture or furniture that someone I know actually made themselves, since I’m the typical white Green Party member who supports community-based economics. 😛
this blog is quite good.this blog gives all types of information about furnitures. birmingham bedroom furniture
nice little summary of modern furniture history and style, with some good commentary/sarcasm, i i enjoyed it.
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Very nice and useful post. I liked it!Thank you very much!!!
You don’t have to call the pictured chair a van der Rohe… you may call it a Barcelona chair as there is also a Barcelona ottoman (pictured) and a Barcelona couch, and a Barcelona table. Really how is a white person to know what piece of furniture you are referring to if you just say the van der Rohe
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Did you see that Barcelona? I mean who would buy one of those, I’d much prefer a more historically significant piece like a Davenport sofa.
Mies van der Rohe and Le Corbusier are so mainstream. I’ve got a chair by Noboru Nakamura (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S89825201)
sofa bed are very very comfortable and i love to sleep on them ~
when using desk chairs, i would always prefer to use wood instead of plastic desk chairs .:`
my sister ordered sofa beds on the internet, they are quite nice and very comfy to sit in ;*`
hi, could you please let me know, which site is it, actually looking for a good deal on sofa beds and some other furniture. thanks
All that matters to me is if it’s comfortable.
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Fantastic…
Yes these white people make us proud in front of our guest as they have made such wonderful designs that are placed at our homes.
Haha, I’m reading a NY times article open in another window and theres an add for a chair thats IDENTICAL to the black one. classic…
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modern furniture is so ugly. You guys can have it all, so as to leave all the good stuff for me 🙂
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I love Ikea and Modern furniture! I feel like the design of this is an important part of white culture. All the modern furniture stores in our town are referred to as ‘scandinavian’ furniture stores.
i love to have this modern furniture for my office
These type of office furniture to modernize our office. it looks very beautiful for our office. Nice article. keep it up.
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This site is hilarious and so true! My grandfather was an architect in the 50’s-80’s and had two of these chairs in brown leather in his home, as well as a beautiful Eames chair that my father now has. I hope they will be mine someday; I really had no idea that this was such a current white person thing. It just reminds me of my childhood.
I really like the Modern furniture .I also would like to buy it.is there any one can tel me where i can buy the kind of Modern furniture?
I am lover of modern Furniture so I am always use to search modern Furniture in the whole world.I have also my own web site where i am updating modern Furniture in every mints,so please check it out.
we make designer and custom made furniture …i have attached my site have a lookop..these furns are made of top quality woods like teak.rose and mahogany…we work on many hotels and interior …have a loook 🙂
Check this couple out! They don’t hate–they appreciate! http://www.anorangemoon.com for UBER HIP VINTAGE FURNITURE & DESIGN. http://anorangemoonchicago.blogspot.com
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