If white people could draft friends the way that the NFL drafts prospects it would go like this: black friends, gay friends, and then all other minorities would be drafted based on need and rarity to the region.
When choosing gay friends, white people like to base their decision on their own needs and requirements. Younger white people tend to prefer young, social gay people-this is their all important ticket into nightclubs and parties.
When a straight person goes to a gay night club, they are reminded of how progressive and tolerant they are. If they are hit on by a member of the same sex, it provides them with a valuable story that they can use to prove to their other friends that they are more progressive and tolerant. “This guy/girl hit on me, I said I was ‘straight but not narrow,’ and it was totally chill. Oh, you went to an Irish bar this weekend? That’s cool, I guess. ”
Older white people prefer to be friends with gay parents because it enables their children to experience much needed diversity with people who are, for all intents and purposes, exactly the same as them.
It is also worth noting that a gay friendship of any sort allows white people to feel as though they are a part of the gay rights movement. While white people love being a part of any movement, the gay movement is especially important to them because they can blend in at rallies and protests and spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression.
Gay friends are an essential part of a white person’s all-star diversity roster. But they are always on the lookout for the ultimate friend; a gay minority.
It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity – like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker. White people will crawl over each other for the opportunity to claim this person as a friend and add them to their roster of diversity.
Other minorities are also highly prized and assigned a ranking based on the level of intolerance in they face from their respective cultures and family members.
Once a white person has told you about their gay friends, it is recommended that you say “I wish more people were like you,” every few months. This will allow them to feel good about their progressive choice of friends and remind them that they are better than other white people.
If you follow this simple rule, you should be able to maximize all benefits of white friendship including assistance in moving and free drinks.
I’m so glad we got a new entry! With three days since “Outdor performance clothes” I was starting to get withdrawal symptoms.
The number one question when discussing gays, “so do you have any gay friends?”
What about white people and their stints with “bi-sexuality” or “bi-curiosity” in college?
So great! And so true. One of my female friends actively sought out gay male friends for a while because she thought it would be “fun to hang out” with them. And my one uncle LOVES talking about his gay friends, but of course only in a nonchalant way.
Oh, and #1, I agree. I have been waiting for a new post!
White people do not want black friends. Trust me.
I don’t know about this one, I know many white people that fear gay’s and are prejudice against them b/c of the religion or politcal party they belong to. I’m also in Ohio the most intolerent state in the Union. Maybe you can change this to the comment “I have a gay friend” when talking to gay people, that always seems to come up when whities are talking to gays just like, “I have a black friend” comes up when talking to blacks.
great web site, this one is OK.
Drunk driving is bad.
No comments yet? What’s the deal?
I had a gay roommate once, and it was awful. All he listened to was Britney Spears and Pink and I nearly lost my mind.
Does having Queer girl/Transgender friends count?
That’s hilarious. A good friend of mine has a lot of gay friends, and says a lot of the same things. He contributes to this blog…
http://moveitmoveit.wordpress.com
I never knew how white I was until I read this list.
Anyone who’s been reading this blog for a while now should know that white people who don’t want gay or black friends are the “wrong kind of white people”.
This made me laugh! I am a gay male and I truly believe that people love having gay friends. I think more so than having black friends. I love hanging out with the “breeders” as well!
You nailed it. “spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression”. White people love to feel oppressed.
I love this site. I can’t wait until all of the defensive people show up on this thread. I’ll go make some popcorn.
ummm No
I’m a straight female. I have a gay boyfriend. It is essential for any straight white female to have one. You have the best friend factor, but a man’s point of view as well.
Not to mention the pointers they give on how to please men.
One more thing white people love to do: “leave comments on blogs.” Its the smug feeling that they get being a part of a “community” and having a “dialogue” with people “around the world.”
Being able to interact with real people (some of whom might being members of a minority group or a citizen of another country) allows the white person to claim to be more open minided than other white people.
Leaving comments on blogs also allow white people to claim intellectual superiority over other white people much like the feeling they get when they out-duel other white people in college or enroll in graduate school (see author’s previous post on said subject). Conquering other people’s viewpoints via the Internet is the ultimate feeling of self-satisfaction (see Obama v. Clinton blog comments) where-as these white people would never engage in such a discussion with people in the flesh for fear of offending another white person or, God-forbid, a member of a minority community.
I wish more people were like you.
There’s a fine line between poking fun/calling out the wrong things (wanting gay friends so you can “add them to your collection”) and inadvertently reinforcing prejudice (i.e.: what’s funny about or wrong with seeking diversity? if more of us would do so, there’d be more understanding and fewer problems, IMHO).
I emailed the link to this site to my gay friend just before I checked today’s topic. Too funny.
I think I will now urge him to have kids.
How come so many people leave comments on this site like “it’s so true!”? What kind of brainless dorks are you? Wait! I can answer that question myself…..the really desperate starved kind.
@#6
You must have never visited Missouri.
You are a brilliant anthopologist.
White people like to discuss the implications of discussing stereotypes and prejudice on blogs.
I don’t know about gays, but I’d sure like to have a midget as a friend. I’m not sure about how to go about seeking out a little person for friendship without it seeming like a creepy sexual thing. Some things just need to evolve on their own I suppose.
I have to agree with Shannon. This list has me pegged for the most part.
You are a brilliant anthropologist. Thank you for helping us understand this strange, primative culture.
Just like the movie, “Friends with Money.”
White people also religiously read such blogs so they can write complaints on their message boards…
I think you are forgetting another thing that white people like: BI-CURIOSITY. What the hell do you think all the kids who go to Seven Sisters colleges do for four years? STUDYING for their Arts Degrees? Please!
In East Coast & West Coast metropolitan areas, I think this is true. However, I live in Ohio too, and I don’t think there are many people actively seeking out gay friends. If you live in the trendy neighborhoods of downtown Columbus, then it’s acceptable to have gay friends. But, it’s not a far drive outside of the city to find zero tolerance.
I gotta disagree with this post…I am not homophobic by any means, I just don’t have enough in common with gay people develop a friendship. You take it up the ass. I don’t. End of story.
Speaking from a gay/white perspective, I ‘d have to say that within white/gay culture the ultimate currently is having a trans friend or lover. It’s an endless conversation topic.
Hey onelovek: we get it … how clever of you to observe this (along with the other identical comments, over and over, on almost every other post on this blog).
Can we talk about anything interesting here, or will it all be “thinking/commenting is stupid” or “that is so me / that is so not me”?
Speaking from a gay/white perspective, I ‘d have to say that within white/gay culture the ultimate currently is having a trans friend or lover. It’s an endless conversation topic.
I love this blog. I never realized how white I actually am…..
Dudes don’t like being hit on by other dudes. OK, I realize turning a straight boy is the ultimate gay fantasy, but back the hell off. Also, there is no such thing as bi-curiosity with dudes. You don’t get to try dick. Once you’ve had one in your mouth, your gay. It’s OK for chicks, though.
Jay: Some gays take it up the ass, some don’t. Some straight people take it up the ass, some don’t. Get your head out of your ass.
This is great, again! Keep them coming……
Hi, I’m gay and Spanish. If you help me move next week you can be my friend!
Great update! Love this site and telling everyone about it. Comments are even funnier. Ummm…further ideas that white people like.
1. all things teenager
2. struggling to have a baby (i.e fertility doctors and having twins in your 40’s)
As a gay minority, I HAVE noticed that I have an abundance of white, heterosexual friends.
Also – why is “Will & Grace” not mentioned on this entry??
So are gays like another race of people or something?
Just making a comment, D…I do the same thing…and I think its funny. Not criticizing…its just a comment board, chief…take a xanax…Nothing directed at you personally…Everything going to be…okay…
Geewiz… You are eroding all of my high moral ground. If this site gets popular a white guy will hardly be able to feel superior, authentic, care about the real “issues” of the day, and be in a win win situation all the time.
Even a sunny afternoon spent soaking in the “sting of oppression” doesn’t make me feel as good as it used to.
What is the world coming to.
I was a fag hag for several years before my brother came out of the closet……..and he hooked up with a black man…….so if I can just get them to have children do I win a prize?? No offense – I love my lesbian friends as well!!
(read with a pinch of humor…)
Well obviously, you’re the ‘wrong kind of white person’ Jay.
Ouch. I even boast about diversity at my Thanksgiving dinners
http://claudiassurfcity.blogspot.com/2007/11/ceremonyeating-american.html
We white people like Thanksgving to really prove our broadmindedness.
Isn’t this an oxymoron — “the trendy neighborhoods of downtown Columbus?”
I want a pair of conjoined-twin friends — although I guess it would be okay if only one of them was my friend since the other one would have to come hang out anyway. Also a severely agoraphobic friend so I’d never have to worry about whether they’re going to be home when I go over to hang out. Though the agoraphobic person might be freaked out if I bring my conjoined twin friend and his or her conjoined twin who isn’t my friend. So I guess it would be best to bring my gay friend over to the agoraphobic friend’s house and then take the gay friend and the conjoined twin friend and the other conjoined twin who isn’t my friend out clubbing.
this blog is the highlight of every morning…can I say that since I am not white but I’m adopted by white people and all of my siblings are white…and non of them are adopted…..I have a gay best friend
Oh, I have a good one: white people like to be “Happy.” Whatever that means. They all want it to happen somehow! “I just want to be Happy.”
Oh, I have a good one: white people like to be “Happy.” Whatever that means. They all want it to happen somehow! “I just want to be Happy.” Happiness.
You are so right on this one. As a gay black male, I agree with everything you wrote haha. You are so on point!
One time I was at a friends house, and his parents were watching a movie called Birdcage, and I guess a girl in the movie had flamboyant and gay fathers who were all zaney and funny. My friends dad sated to his wife “we need some gay friends” and they both thought they were sweet. Now that’s gay!
White people in Ohio are not the subject of this blog. Clearly, it’s about White liberals in Eastern and Western coastal cities with a smattering in the MidWest, a la Chicago.
I have a gay black roommate, he is awesome. I tell people it kills two birds with one stone, proving I’m not racist or homophobic in one fell swoop.
Oh, and he loves thinking of / talking about baby names, so I guess that’s close to wanting to be a parent.
I’m so white it hurts.
Love this post! I have a gay FIL so I like to throw that knowledge down on occasion. 😉
My hubby does bowling in the gay league his dad belongs to sometimes and loves to come home and tell me how many guys hit on him. Such the ego boost, it’s hilarious!
FUCK!!! Once again, this is so painfully true.
Find out what your Educated Black Friends like so you can get more of them.
http://stuffeducatedblackpeoplelike.wordpress.com
#41- Or what about perennial favorite, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? Girls loves a gay BFF!
This blog is hilarious; keep the entries coming. As some others have mentioned, please write an entry about how white people will emphasize being .0000001% Native American to add flavor to their otherwise boring ethnicity.
This is a great entry, but what about the “Will & Grace” factor?
White girls, in particular, feel that they are “Grace” and that every gay boy in America has the potential to be their “Will.”
While to most young, gay boys, Grace was the quintessential cock block, the white girls like to think that gay boys, like Will, are asexual, and would much prefer their company to that of an attractive male companion. These feelings towards gay boys and the longing for a “Will,” seem to increase with the weight and the girth of the white girl.
Also, like Grace, the white girl generally has a deep longing for a romantic relationship and/or sexual encounter with her “Will.” Alcohol intensifies these feelings and can lead to long, dramatic sob scenes at parties, in which the white girl will exclaim things like, “Why can’t he just love me?” (Answer: He’s gay) or “What does that guy have that I don’t?” (Answer: An erection).
As a general rule, the white girl is so intoxicated that she rarely remembers these outbursts and while other white people will talk about the pathetic scene for months behind her back, no one ever mentions it to the white girl.
It’s just too embarrassing for any white person, gay or straight, to openly confront a tragedy of this magnitude.
So true!
http://www.jonesview.wordpress.com
This is so on target.
White people love self-deprecating humor about their own race.
White people think it is ok to use the tagline “for a black/Asian/gay” when complimenting their minority friends.
White people love to start their social critiques with phrases like, “I don’t mean to sound racist/homophobic, but….”
White people like ethnic clothing and accessories: white girls in kimonos, saris, etc. Those purses that white girls carry made out of basmati rice bags.
White people love self-deprecating humor about their own race.
White people think it is ok to use the tagline “for a black/Asian/gay” when complimenting their minority friends.
White people love to start their social critiques with phrases like, “I don’t mean to sound racist/homophobic, but….”
White people like ethnic clothing and accessories: white girls in kimonos, saris, etc. Those purses that white girls carry made out of basmati rice bags.
Ok, SWPL is funny again. I was starting to fade out there a little.. 🙂
Would it be more beneficial to have a gay white friend or a bisexual minority friend?
The latter, Sully…Unless, of course, the former is David Sedaris…(see #25)
Best entry in a while.
If this were true, we would not have the Hate that is aimed at the GLBTQ community that we do.
So sorry, but I know more white people that would rather say ” I beat the crap outta that gay who came to town” than say “I have a gay friend.”
White people also love to tell people that they have bilingual friends. “My friend Maria speaks Spanish and she’s going to teach my kids Spanish.” Or better yet, “well my Russian friends took me out last night, and we had the greatest time. But I had to translate for my boyfriend.”
That’s why I have so many white friends!
So true! My gay best friend and I are already planning on him turkey basting me when he decides he’s ready for kids! All fruit flies have offered this to their gay friends at some point.
After the three-day hiatus, it looks like this one was typed in a frenzy. It’s still funny, but I’d rather see a little more care taken in writing the posts.
hahahahaha
this one is absolutely so true and HILARIOUS! I have so many friends who will stop me and be like “OMG I’m so glad that your gay and we’re friends!” (after which, I proceed to take them to a happnin’ dance party)
ps the guy who talked about his gay roommate listening to Britney all day, SPOT ON
“. . . the gay movement is especially important to them because they can blend in at rallies and protests and spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression.”
LoL!
CLASSIC.
So. Fucking. True. They’re people, not fucking accessories.
#30 Grace Chu
Laughing about the bi-curious thing — I missed that in college myself but realized the trend in my Peace Corps training group. Apparently if you were white, this was “the thing”that everyone should experience once and you were considered incredibly unenlightened (especially as a female) if you hadn’t done any of this experimenting.
P.S. Joining the Peace Corps is another incredibly white thing to do.
Hire freelance writers for your blog — you need to “diversify.”
Comment #17 – you hit the nail on the head. All girls should have a gay boyfriend for some span of time before they move into a really serious sexual relationship. Or at least have a best friend who is gay. It was the only way I got through high school XD
#17 – you hit the nail on the head. All girls should have a gay boyfriend for some span of time before they move into a really serious sexual relationship. Or at least have a best friend who is gay. It was the only way I got through high school XD
You know, more and more I do think that you are writing to and about a certain type of white person. I live on the left coast and you have basically nailed me, my tastes, concerns–all of it {and that of my friends}. Sometimes when reading comments though, like the one from the person in Ohio, I am made aware that you are really talking about educated, middle class, urban white people {or anyone that has those values–which could be anyone really, not necessarily tied into race}. But we all know, there is another kind of white people. Ah hem. You know who I’m talking about. No nice way to describe them, people often refer to them by describing attributes of their “neck.” Love your blog btw. Heard you on NPR. Totally picture your readers as straight outta Free People/Urban Outfitters/Anthropologie & all Wes Anderson movies…Thanks!
Thanks for a good entry finally, after the last few poor ones, this one is right on!
Lots of gay guys like having white friends too.
http://stuffgayguyslike.wordpress.com
If the only reason you’re friends with someone’s whose gay is because you think it makes you look progressive, WHY would you ever admit to that, even anonymously?
Don’t flatter yourself.
Straight people have terrible sex lives and want gay friends so they can at least imagine what good sex would be like.
Any red blooded white American male would want nothing to do with a male gay friend. Fuck that! It’s ok for women to have gay shopping buddies, but the day that I legitmize myself by having a fag friend is the day I run head first into traffic.
I sing in an Episcopal cathedral which gives out choir scholarships for the university kids. Guess how many gay friends I have now!
In all seriousness, I went to a small college and you weren’t going to find people out of the closet. Now I attend a large university for grad school and I do belong to a mainstream protestant church. For obvious reasons I have gay friends now but I never actively sought out a friend for the purpose of my diversity portfolio 🙂
I don’t think ghetto people like having gay friends because many of them are homophobic.
I personally find that gays make life more interesting
http://www.stuffghettopeoplelike.wordpress.com
It’s true, breeders love it when you take em to clubs or, better yet, pride parades. They get to spend the day trying to get pictures of themselves with all the drag queens so they can show their friends later what a great time they had with the tribe.
The true holy grail is girls who used to be awkward in high school who got to take a gay friend to prom. I’m not sure if this is to show how open minded and adventurous they are or just to show how far they’ve come since then but either way it’s cute.
Does hating the white people make me more or less white than the white white people that I hate? I’m so confused by this blog!
However, being originally from the South, it’s obvious that you’re only talking about the urbane and mostly Northern-born or educated species of white people. Democrat white people in Mississippi vote for Clinton, not Obama. Need I mention the Mississippi Republicans? None of them are trying to score black gay friends with kids.
Sorry I didn’t laugh!
But I’m sure it’s REALLY funny in New York City or Los Angeles!
Kind of like that red-neck guy on TV! What a SCREAM he is, what with his, “you might be your own grampa” skits! ROFLOL!
amma-
the creator of this blog was on NPR?
My gay black friend is sadly still childless (I’ll have to have a talk with him about that) but he DOES allow me to hang out sometimes with his white partner’s gay Asian friends as well. That makes me oh so very tolerant! (And so very white, apparently.)
Plus, no one has mentioned the added bonus that if one’s black friends are gay, they tend to speak really good English and that, as opposed to, you know, “regular” black people. (That sentence was supposed to be sarcastic in case you didn’t get it!)
You hit the nail on the head with this one. A few weeks ago, one of my white friends said that he was only going to make new friends with racial minorities and gay people.
you had me then you lost me. i guess im not white after all.
Well, I’ve got to say this is a great blog. Your readers are a demanding bunch though. What will they do when you run out of ideas or start repeating yourself? That could be a blog in itself I suppose. Anyway, thanks for the laughs.
but let’s talk about how many white guys would play with the idea of being gay or excuse-me “testing the waters of sexuality” and then thinks he has gay-dar now!
I have a lot of lesbian friends, but it’s because I like to race bicycles and a lot of female bike racers are queer.
The gay black guy can also help your dance moves. It basically makes the gay black friend an invaluable asset to a white guy’s friend roster. He can also help get you laid from all the white ladies who love gay guys (but can’t have sex with) and love the sexiness of a black man (but are afraid of what daddy will think). Which means….. sex by defaulted proxy!
I was gay for like, two weeks. I’m totally progressive.
Dan (#18):
If you’re joking, I give you lots of credit for the driest sense of humor outside of the United Kingdom.
If you’re serious, welcome to the world of hypocrisy. 😉 You just did exactly what you railed against.
Having gay friends means your potluck parties will always have good food and style.
stingingly true of so many I know.
#37 – PW, most women don’t like being hit on by “dudes” either. men, yes; “dudes” no. but that doesn’t stop you “dudes” from bothering us, so I’m not really feeling sorry that you occasionally have to deal with it too.
# 83 – amma, seriously? we’re 88 posts into this and you’re just now catching on? and you think your stupid ass is entitled to pass judgement on people who don’t fit this to a T?
#87 – bug, why wait for a gay friend to come along? go play in traffic now.
#41 is so right- you have to do one of having kids up until you’re 50. what kind of crap is that?!
good post today.
Does the reverse apply –
Do gay white people want straight white friends?
106 – the answer is no.
young single white women find nothing more novel than adopting a flamboyant gay male friend. NOT gay female friends, and NOT gay men that do not express flamboyant qualities. their dream would be toiling the town with Christian from project runway on their arm, critiquing clothes and buying expensive drinks.
I hate it when they always make some racist/homophobic remarks then fend it off by saying “I’m not racist, I have black/Asian/Hispanic/gay friends…”
I once had a white person tell me I was “homophobic” because I didn’t have any gay friends! I only had about 5 friends at the time, but I guess I needed one on the roster to combat my unconscious bigotry.
OT-but anyone who thinks Ohio is “the most intolerent state in the Union”, really needs to travel more.
I say screw homophobes. There is this kid in my class that said he hates homos. When he was sitting next to me and my friend who is Bi. Man, was that funny!
apparently ultra masculine males are not privy to relationships with other gay males, self-consious ignorant white men LOVE homophobia. i am sure they are still cool with gay women tho, you know the “real” ones on tv, just not in real life, to threatening to male power and domination. men are douches, well the man just described above.
#87 is the “wrong type of white person.”
🙂
Is this site real???? Ha! ha! ha! I love it. I am not white but I do have “white friends” and I must pass this along. Just for the record, if you do get that black friend, resist the impulse to say ” I know some other black people, I had a black boyfriend/girlfriend/neighbour or this black classmate that beat me up”.
Just relax, we are not all that scaryand some of us are probably as “white” as you. Of course I am not reffering to myself!:)
“When a straight person goes to a gay night club, they are reminded of how progressive and tolerant they are. If they are hit on by a member of the same sex, it provides them with a valuable story that they can use to prove to their other friends that they are more progressive and tolerant. “This guy/girl hit on me, I said I was ’straight but not narrow,’ and it was totally chill. Oh, you went to an Irish bar this weekend? That’s cool, I guess.”
I’m sorry, I’m calling you out on this. I’ve experienced straight people going to gay bars and it is not like that. Straight people conceal the fact that they’re accepting of others in many states, particularly ones that do not find the gay and lesbian lifestyle to be socially acceptable.
While I believe in progressive change, there isn’t a soul in my state who would say anything that you wrote, there.
The rest I agree with. But come on, we’re not THAT far in our society’s growth.
Oxymoron from a moron… yah, it would be the Columbus definition of “trendy.” The mayor just called the city “hip and cool.” Who knew?! 😉
Hahahahahahaha!
“I’m progrethiiive!”
This post is so 5 years ago. White people are way more into having transgendered friends now.
To #32 (Jay)
You are SO homophobic Jay because there is much more to a person (gay or not) than their choice of who they sleep with.
I am gay and I’d hate to think someone would think they have NOTHING else in common with me because I have a relationship with a same-sex partner.
Helloooo?
Wake up people.
Love the website- the majority of posts are hilariously spot on.
This IS the northeast and it’s elite colleges/universities. Funny stuff.
I am so glad I was young in the 60s and early 70s when I made my gay male friends (one who has since passed from AIDS). My first gay/bi friend was when I was five, just after the Kennedy administration. We didn’t know what those words meant, we just liked each other as people. Wow! I mean, I guess that’s just now allowed these days. We stood by each other through all the shit, loved and admired each other, saw qualities in each other that perhaps our straight friend refused to notice or did not have the sensitivity to notice.
Gee, I guess I was darn lucky back in the day I could make friends based on the person and not the cultural stereotype. O, the pressure!
PS: The friend I made in college in the early 80s I still have today. I would not have passed the sciences without her. O, that’s right, she’s a lesbian. I didn’t ask her, because I didn’t think about it. I just liked her. My husband likes her too. Does that make us politically correct to this generation?
gosh, I sure miss my gay half-chinese african american deaf friend! and now i know why!
__________
“…she’s just this guy, you know?”
omg! i have a black gay friend with a child… in fact, his partner’s white, and they have one black child and one white child… does that make them super-friends?
i should bake them some low-fat, carb-free vegan cupcakes.
I would want to punch #87, but the way he misused the word “legitimize” is kind of, well, cute.
Score! I come equipped with a gay little brother who does not own a $700 knife designed, manufactured and sold for the sole purpose of slicing raw fish nor does he somehow know of every single social event taking place in the world at any given time so I am not 100% sure he is an eligible candidate, but he makes nice floral arrangements and will pretend to not speak English when we go to a dinner party hosted by our mortal enemy. Eat your heart out Princess Di! I’m gonna rule the world*!
*gay little brother can be rented out for a nominal fee. Here are his qualifications: can operate a French press correctly; can speak a little French with a French-Canadian accent; can act giggle-y, bizarre, or just overall Japanese-like; can have an unnatural fear/aversion towards WaMu; can be very sympathetic and extroverted as well. He has a gym membership and is computer literate. He is also a racial minority.
i think people enjoy commenting on comments more than the blog.
-mrs. obvious
White people would like bathhouses too, but they closed them all down– the white people did.
Go figure.
To sum up the comments:
white people comment on blogs (especially ones about them that they identify with while also providing them the opportunity to laugh at themselves)
people who comment on this blog don’t know what anthropologists do (they don’t just make entertaining generalizations about human behavior)
Ohio sucks.
white people (or any dominant group) can play with their sexuality (bi-curious) because they don’t have the pressures of oppression on a daily basis (it’s more of a sunny summer afternoon thing, like reading The Economist or Atlantic)
And urban upwardly mobile whites like to have gay friends. While “the wrong kind of whites,” rural, poor, conservatives, don’t like the gays.
Yay! We agree!
Good one, but you should have mentioned how every girl who spends a lot of time with the same gay man will eventually be hit on or hook up with that gay man. Seen it happen A LOT.
LOL @ #122 and #127.
Also, comment #17 here really enlightened me. I could never figure that one out, but that’s actually a pretty reasonable explanation
I’m down with hanging out with a gay dood….i just don’t really care for the crazy flamboyant, im really a girl, ones…
Brilliant post.
I read this comment:
How can you tell the colour of a persons skin by a cyber post? I’ve never heard a white person actively brag about leaving a post on a blog?
The blog is great, but some of the people who comment on it are beyond retarded…
Comment 110:
That is the saddest thing I have read all day… and you told people on a blog that gets about a million hits a day…?
Hilarious.
White people score extra white points if their brother/sister/mother/father is gay. Cousins, aunts and uncles don’t count. In a pinch, though, a great aunt or uncle can be touted for the historical appeal.
It is one thing to be open-minded and another to seek status and approval for “being open-minded”. But obviously this “transcends racial lines”. My (non-white)sister was always bragging about having gay friends. Made me question her motives more than appreciate her enlightenment. The gay-ness or non-gay-ness of my friends was not important to me. The post made me smirk but I didn’t think it had much to do with whiteness. But u got my attention. I will be checking in regularly I think. 🙂
#89 Eliot Spitzer
…………………Isn’t this an oxymoron — “the trendy neighborhoods of downtown Columbus?”…………………
Actually no there are many new sections of downtown Columbus that have been revitalized with million dollar condos and the like, much like Clevelands “warehouse district” that boasts doctors and Vice Presidents of companies living in what once was a warehouse. The city is really trying to change it’s downtown and so there you seem to be the moron in this case.
OMG ROTFL LOL
This seems a little cynical to me. I’m white and I’ve got a few gay friends… but it has nothing to do with how I appear to others.
I can’t tell if this website is an attempt at humor, of social analysis… or if it’s lets-make-fun-of-white-people time.
I really hope it’s not the latter – mainly because poking fun at white people is such a lazy way to get laughs. Is there any joke more played out than the lame, white guy?
I can’t tell if this whole website is mean-spirited or not. For the sake of argument, if I were to duplicate this site but focus it on white people… and have the first entry be something along the lines of, “Black people love to play out the racial double standard of taking offense to the slightest whisper of impropriety… but have based entire political and comedy careers around mocking and homogenizing an entire race of people.”
I used to have all these gay friends, but now they all make so much more money than me that I can’t even relate to them anymore. It’s so sad. I miss them.
White people love adopting babies from China and other countries where they are made to feel as though they are “rescuing” someone.
The also love pouring over Shakespeare.
http://joseelretardo.com/?p=43
Both me and my black husband are very white, we have discovered after reading this blog:).
You are spot on!
Would that be as okay as what the author of this blog is doing?
Or would I be a racist?
Am I a wet blanket because I don’t find the author of this blog to be funny? Am I being too sensitive?
I don’t think so… I don’t offend easily.
I would also argue, in the case of homosexuality… that the african american community should consider perhaps evolving their perspective on homosexuals and their rights. For all of their caterwauling about unequal treatment and bigotry, the african american community has been shockingly deaf to the bald-faced hate that most people in this country, and indeed the institutions of this country as well, have shown to this part of our society.
African Americans, I would imagine, should feel a closer connection to the homosexual population of this country than anyone else – as they just recently became full citizens (only about fourty years ago… not a long time at all). Why aren’t black people in complete solidarity with gays?
The white people wearing those matching workout unis don’t want gay or black friends. They do however want to wifeswap this weekend.
I’m a straight white man in the south and I have a gay black actor friend who I love to sit for hours with and laugh and talk about more emotional things than I can with my overtly masculine friends.
But definitely when he’s not around and I’m talking with some girl, I refer to him as my big black gay buddy.
I now feel rather stupid. Thank you. I will correct the error of my ways.
Sincerely,
James
#141
You are definitely a wet blanket, I should know because I am one, too. Lighten up, or you’ll really hate future post #102 on this blog, “social consciousness: white people love to appear socially conscious because they feel guilty growing up around lots of other white people, going to college with lots of white people, and generally having no actual experiences of oppression to complain about.”
But how do I know if I’m white? Is there a test I can take ranking how many of the things I like that they (we?) like?
Very funny, and so true!!!
@ #138:
This blog is written by a white person. Apparently some of you do have a sense of humour, and can poke fun at your race. Unlike you.
I’m black, and I love this blog! So many of my white co-workers (I have no white friends) fit this mold!
the amount of people who don’t get this humor is astounding to me. this is hilarious!
so glad this blog is returning from “stuff hipsters in williamsburg / strathcona / silve lake” like and back to stuff white people like. it’s good again.
SOME WHITE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS ARE OFFENDED.
SOME THINK IT DOESN’T APPLY TO THEM SO IT’S KIND OF FUNNY. IT’S FUN TO MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY OVER THE INTERNET. IT’S ALSO SOUNDS VERY COOL AND PROGRESSIVE TO MAKE FUN OF “WHITE PEOPLE.”
MOST JUST DON’T THINK IT’S FUNNY BUT PRETEND TO “LOVE IT” BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE DOES.
LAME. LAME. LAME.
@ 141
You’re definitely extremely stupid and clueless for equating being black with being gay.
Shut up and go and cry somewhere else. Stop spoiling the fun.
Oh come on #87; you’ve tickled your man-gina and wondered………..
You are on point, but I can’t understand how you haven’t addressed “Brunch” and the “Boston Redsox”. You can’t be white unless you have brunch on the weekends and are a fan of the Sawx. I even heard that new white parents are issuing redsox gear to their children at birth.
If WP can’t have gay friends, the next best thing is to drive the SUV into town for the Gay Pride Parade for a glimpse of floats carrying extravagantly dressed drag queens. You then get to hang about after and feel like you’re totally living the hip urban life, perhaps go to a bar with a rainbow flag hung outside and try to make audible remarks about how you support gay marriage.
WP like gay men more than gay women because the former are the avant garde of urban hip. They are sometimes disappointed when they go to Gay Pride parades and see butch gay women in flannel shirts who they might as well see at their local Home Depot, rather than gay black men in bondage gear.
(Advanced WP will of course have been bi-curious in college and if they are truly lucky will stay friends with someone they had ‘experimented’ with and be able to introduce them as an ex)
My best friend Mark has the ultimate gay minority friend. He knows a Gay Native American who is a figure skater.
Actually, brunch is technically a gay white thing, so it doesn’t quite fit here. But close!
This post/whole site describes pretty much my entire family, high school, college, and community.
(from #144)
I’ll fit into the #102 post, too: “social consciousness: white people love to appear socially conscious because they feel guilty … generally having no actual experiences of oppression to complain about.” I’ll tell anyone who listens that I was pulled over (for the first time, mind you), because my boyfriend was Driving While Mexican, just so I can seem like I’ve been subjected (by association) to some type of oppression.
Love this site!! (Even if it does hit way too close to home…)
Ha, great post. Idea for a future post:
STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE: Posting pictures of themselves prominently on their social networking site/profile of them surrounded by a gaggle of African/Indian/Latin-American/Developing-World Children. Bonus points for babies.
Edit that title how you see fit, but if they’ve (we’ve) done it, chances are the pic is the profile pic. And it ties into a number of previous posts.
God I wish I could write for this site…
I also think some good future posts would be SuDoku, self-deprecation, and knitting.
31. DOWNTOWN Columbus?
Sheesh, you’d miss it if the traffic lights failed at the lone intersection…
Amusing stuff…I’m curious…unless I’ve missed it, when are you going to post on the current ultimate thing white people like: Barak Obama?
I called this one! And it should be noted that having a male gay friend is a much more desirable than a female one. Too many mainstream lesbians these days, wrecking the novelty (though maybe the men aren’t far behind). Plus there’s the whole porn appeal of girl-on-girl action (see #37)… I don’t think the white boys will be so tolerant though when their girlfriends leave them for hot chicks?
Anyway other posts should include: yoga and all the Hindu words and customs that come with (my husband is Indian (how white of me to point that out))- I believe the author mentioned that as a “future post” early on, LACROSSE (personally I hate it, but somehow i always end up dating lacrosse ppl, usually were captains of their college teams (though 2 of the 3 lacrosse-playing ex’s were girls, hopefully i get some redemption for that?)), “green” building design, traveling/trekking in Southeast Asia (Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Nepal), photography (as art)…. I thought a while ago interracial children (“they’re so beautiful”), but I guess multilingual children is the better.. ballroom dancing? That kind of fell from favor (along with swing) when it was taken over by dorks though…. oh wait, that was always.
Is this post too long? I’ve never posted before.. And probably never will again. Keep up the blog though, author, we love it! Thanks
YEP, 161 you missed it- Obama is in the archives.
I used to think this site was totally offensive, and then just the other day, after voting as a delegate for Obama in my county convention, and meeting gay* friends for brunch at one of my favorite breakfast places, whilst driving my Subaru Outback and listening to This American Life on the local “community” AM radio station, I realized it was fucking hilarious.
*not true. I’m not cool enough.
I live in a smallish city that is not on either coast and is in fact in the “backwards” South. And guess what. My partner and I are the Gay Friends at parties.
We used to live in the Midwest. Same thing.
Trust me, the “White People” described on this blog are everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. It’s totally accurate.
I guarantee that our beloved straight friends have probably used their attendance at our commitment ceremony as some sort of proof of their involvement in the gay rights movement.
I imagine the stray “wrong kind of white person” stumbles onto this blog from time to time while doing white supremacist-related Google searches. Hence some of the ignorant responses above.
“OT-but anyone who thinks Ohio is “the most intolerent state in the Union”, really needs to travel more.”
Agreed. Anyone who thinks that should come to Columbus – I have some gay friends (whoops, how white of me!) who can take you to gay bar after gay bar before after hours at one of their fabulous haciendas in one of several well gentrified gayborhoods…
Of course, if you only ever “fly over” Ohio, I guess it is acceptable to think we are all hicks and hayseeds who live in caves.
this is definately for the upper class white male
“And it should be noted that having a male gay friend is a much more desirable than a female one. Too many mainstream lesbians these days, wrecking the novelty (though maybe the men aren’t far behind). Plus there’s the whole porn appeal of girl-on-girl action (see #37)… I don’t think the white boys will be so tolerant though when their girlfriends leave them for hot chicks?”
Lipstick lesbians that white people can describe as “girly” always are an asset in this matter… As long as she isn’t in flannel or driving a truck – perferably a professional or a designer – white people will get points for having a progressive circle of friends…
I guess I’m super cool because I have attended meetings of a group called GMAD with my best friend. That’s right. Gay men of African descent. But do I lose all my credibility if we ate fried chicken together at the GMAD office?
I have Asian, Black and White friends. No gays. [rule #1]
If a girl is a lesbian or Bi – no problem. I can be friends.
[ avoid the ugly uncomfortable moments of a gay male, Gross!]
you might think I sound racist avoiding Gay people, but not nearly a gay as your Blog title.
Just look at that gay guy on Survivor, he was weak and creepy! No one I know wants friends like that.
for 141 and all the other persons with their thongs in a bunch:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=33372288
I would just like to point out that rather than slamming this post, or its fans, I simply advanced a few questions.
This, I guess inevitably, led to #151 (I do like the numbering, it makes the bickering so much easier) to add this:
“You’re definitely extremely stupid and clueless for equating being black with being gay.
Shut up and go and cry somewhere else. Stop spoiling the fun.”
Firstly, what a juvenile response to a totally benign question. Namecalling? Really? Alright then…
And secondly, I didn’t do that. Not even remotely. I’m not conflating the two… I’m asking a question about social marginalization.
What intrigues me about this site is the fact that it can and has created discussions about race, gender, sexual identity, and all those other ultimately unimportant things we use to dislike one another. I posed my questions both about whether the AA community should stand behind the gay community (no pun intended, of course) because of its memories of being marginalized by the establishment… and also my question as to whether or not pointing out the obvious foibles of black comedy’s (again, no pun) whipping boy can really be counted as humor?
It’s a bit on the nose, no?
Of course… at this point I don’t really expect a tempered response. I expect more juvenile prattling like my darling 151.
All new in “Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like”
#1 Making idiotic comments.
Dear 169,
When did ‘gay’ become a race? I don’t think you can be racist towards a group of people that don’t make up a common race. Just my overly educated opinion.
This one’s less clever or on the mark than usual. I think you’re gonna need to get geographically more specific some time soon. Or limit it to one age range. Lately 30-somethings from the West Coast seem like a fitting demographic.
Hey, I’ll buy you a drink, but I will NOT help you move! (But my gay friend has a pickup truck you can use.)
All new in “Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like”
#2 Having a fixation about gay sex.
#3 Needing to affirm their masculinity.
I don’t think there actually is an establishment.
hahaha naive fools, keep drinking coke and eating hotdogs you fooools
All new in “Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like”
#4 Having a liberal attitude about “girl on girl.”
#171
maybe you’d like to see these added to the list soon?
– taking everything seriously
– being offended (but pointing out how normally you are not offended too easily, it’s an “isolated incident”)
– missing the point
– the comfort and sense of security stemming from the large pole residing permanently in your cornhole
– not having a sense of humor
– feeling superior
– feeling like you’re smarter than most people (of any color/gender/sexual orientation/education level/monetary status/religion/political affiliation)
– wondering why people waste time laughing at stuff
And I grow less white all the time!
All new in “Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like”
#5 Missing the point of this blog.
All new in “Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like”
#6 Thinking other “dudes” would be interested.
This post is spot-on, like the entire blog. I had the misfortune to work alongside a colleague who embodied at least half the traits mocked on this blog (taught English in Japan, foreign travel, no TV, etc., etc.), and I actually once heard him refer to his “gay friends” in conversation (or, more accurately, speaking on behalf of himself and his (female) “partner”, “our gay friends”). Normal people do not have typologies of friends. The just have, you know, friends. Only these self-referential, self-absorbed, posturing, intellectual masturbating phonies, so elegantly skewered here, make such unwittingly ignorant statements.
Speaking of partners, these people think marriage is an outdated patriarchal institution–except when gay people want to do it. Just like they’re obssessively against religion–Christians in particular–unless its psychotic, Jew-hating Islam. Then its diversity time again.
Keep stickin’ it to ’em.
Busted again! I thought I was so PC because I had a gay black roommate for almost a year.
Do I get bonus points for that?
All new in “Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like”
#7 Thinking they are a minority.
“32 Jay – I gotta disagree with this post…I am not homophobic by any means, I just don’t have enough in common with gay people develop a friendship. You take it up the ass. I don’t. End of story.”
My Essay On Why Jay is Homophobic
…Right. What I don’t understand is the whole stigma against anal sex. I personally wouldn’t do it, but I’m talking about the fact that when any homophobe (yes that’s you despite what you think) brings up “taking it up the ass” when talking about gay men and looking down on them for i.
Why is it then, that MANY STRAIGHT guys desperately want to have have anal sex with their girlfriends? Giving… taking… Whatever, still anal sex. So it’s disgusting to take it but not give… Does that mean women are disgusting too? Or maybe.. you’re just think gay men are disgusting because you’re homophobic.
Also, you’re a homophobe because you just made some stupid assumption that no gay person could possibly have anything in common with you. Do you think all gay men love pink and run around in their underwear and proclaim their love for Britney Spears? When did someone’s sex life automatically make someone so different from you that you couldn’t possibly have anything else in common with them? Do you know all the weird fetishes that your friends and neighbors do? Did you all discuss it before deciding whether or not you all could be friends?
Jay is a homophobe.
@ #171: Take that nonsense elsewhere.
You hit it again, clander.
I have no need to affirm my masculinity or to express my distaste for gay people. I simply don’t care enough about them to want to be friends with them. There is nothing intriguing about gay people in my opinion. They do their gay thing and I do my straight thing. It’s that simple. No hate. Just different lifestyles that are not comparable.
All new in “Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like”
#8 Declaring disgust at any sex acts except the ones they like to do.
“It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity – like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker”
Best line yet!
Speaking of GAY PEOPLE….if you are white and like gay people you will LOVE gaycondo….
http://www.gaycondo.wordpress.com
If I didn’t _already_ know that this website was having fun with a very small slice of white-america I would now. I’m white, exactly 100% straight and I emphatically DO NOT want any homosexual friends.
Parenthetically, something that I’ve always wondered: if you fantasize about having two women at once, and I do, does that make you _200%_ straight? Food for thought.
Btw, the contraction of “you are” is “you’re” not “your.” A great many of you don’t seem to know that and it’s one of my pet-peeves. TGIF, –Jeff in Houston, Texas
All new in “Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like”
#9 Mentioning that they are 100% straight (or more).
While young white people may find it advantageous to befriend the gays for social access it is the middle aged that really reap the benefits of their connections. Many middle aged white women come to rely heavily on their gays for guidance in home decor, fashion, and entertainment. While their husbands take little interest in them at this stage of life they often find having a “gay husband” substitute to be highly satisfying. It allows the middle aged white woman to experience a fuller social life and avoid charges of infidelity or cougar-ism. Often the gays that fulfill this role for middle aged white women are in businesses such as event planning or any number of categories under the “design” umbrella that benefit financially as a result. And since it is the establishment white man who is usually paying the bills, this dynamic allows for a poetic redistribution of economic power to women and minorities at the expense of “the man.”
Having a gay child is another way for white people to feel the sting of oppression, although almost any relative will do. The white parent of a gay child is afforded the the ultimate insider opportunity for minority interaction and demonstration of progressive broadmindedness.
There is one kind of white person-as-gay-friend that is a bad deal for the white person: the fag hag. Often fag hags develop in high school or college (seldom later) as the result of being the girl that straight boys are uninterested in, i.e. the fat girl. Such girls usually find their way into theater, dance, or music classes where young gays cluster. For these girls having gay friends becomes the center of their social circle rather than a diversity accessory — and herein lies the loss of status for having too many gays or following a single gay rather than vice versa. As with all white person relationships with those who are different it must always be about the white person. This is a universal rule of whiteness: it’s always about the white people first.
Also note that gay male friends are much more highly valued and sought after than lesbians. Lesbians are much less likely to support the white person hegemony than gay men (although the men actively undermine it from within). White gays are adept at working both sides of the fence.
I think you need to qualify your definition of what white people want and like. For instance, thinking anyone in Branson, Missouri would for one minute consider having a Barcelona chair in their livingroom in favour of a Laz-E-Boy lounger is pure folly. Also, letting a gay man into your home in such areas is completely unacceptable. That is, if you can actually *find* a guy man in *those* areas.
Places where you might find white people who like this stuff:
The Bay Area
Cambridge, Massachusetts (oh, and Somerville, the new “poor man’s Cambridge)
The Portland’s (Oregon and now, too, Maine!)
Seattle
Austin, TX
Brooklyn NY
Key West, Florida
Flagstaff, Arizona
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Portions of Chicago
Burlington, VT.
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Santa Barbara, California
*note: this is only a partial list.
Hey! What about having Asian friends? We rank below black and gay friends???? What gives?
Doesn’t having Asian friends help you get # 11 Asian girls? And # 42 (more authentic) Sushi?
JP my gay friend refers to me as a breeder as well, are you him or am I not white enough to know this is a common term among gay people?
a lot of things on this site EVERYBODY likes. not just restricted to whites. A catergory involving Dogs and Traveling….come on.
jkg: I see your point, but unfortunately your assumptions about me being homophobic are wrong. I feel that you are looking too deep into things.
I don’t have any problems with gay people..their lifestyle is their business and their choice. They have that right. I don’t think they are wrong in any way for their choice and I don’t shun them in any way for it. I simply do not care enough about them or their lifestyle to develop a friendship with them outside of business relationships. My personal friends are all people that I consider to have a lot of common ground with and our lifestyles are all quite similar. That is what I look for in personal friends. Based on my experiences, gay people by large are just entirely different people and the common ground is just not there. never has been. Not a big deal. To each his own.
It’s really not a hard concept to grasp.
And for the record, I don’t give it to my girl in the ass. The vagina works just fine for me. =)
This blog is absolutely hilarious! Keep ’em coming.
Roster of Diversity? the Sting of Opression for an afternoon? I cannot stop laughing!
I agree with many people on this site. My white friends probably fit about 30% of the descriptions on this outrageously funny blog, which is about the same for me. I realized that my white friends are not “liberal” “progressive” WASPs. This is probably why that in 2008 in Manhattan, when I’m out with my white friends we are one of the only mixed groups in the establishment.
It’s too bad most gay white people (the men especially) could give a fuck about having black friends – even though they want to use the civil rights movement as part of their rallying cry for “equality.” But, you’ll never hear the white gays admit it publicly — they’d much rather focus on “black homophobia.”
#153 – brunch is in the archives. I think it was called “Sunday Breakfast” but it was brunch.
#156 – given that brunch is the uber-stereotypical thing to do for mother’s day (so she doesn’t have to cook! cause dad and the kids are too incompetant to do the cooking and clean up without burning the house down!), I think it’s safe to say that the breeders also like brunch.
Jay – you seriously need to come to terms with your homophobia. it is so glaring as to be visible from space.
Jeff in Houston, you’re huge a huge douche-tard and not because you are from Texas! That is all.
Jason in Santa Monica.
to 201! I totally agree with you. I have had many problems with so called opressed white gay men. They want to consider themselves on the same level as black people. But they will swear that they are the enlighten white males. Hmmmm, Let the truth show that they are even worse. The Gay world is really beyond focus on white gay life!
So… what white people are you talking to? If I randomly polled 100 white people in my neck of the woods right now, I wouldn’t find more than 5 that proclaimed to have EVER had a gay friend. I doubt I’d find more than 25 that claimed to have a black friend. This blogger consistently shows that he or she has no perception of white culture or the real world AT ALL.
BTW, Rogue Male, I’d prefer to see a world with marriage for no one and religion for no one. You’re as clueless as the person that writes this blog. Hell, you probably ARE the person who writes this blog.
I have a feeling that the people calling me homophobic are gay.
And I’m ok with that.
If it makes you feel better, go ahead and call me a homophobe. Whatever floats your boat or finds your lost remote is fine by me.
I’m homophobic and don’t give a fuck what any of you think about me. I cringe at the mere thought of a man touching another man in a sexual way. Dicks are for chicks.
The white people (particularly the women) who work n my office RAVE about their gay friends. I’ll have to co-sign this one.
I don’t Jay has any homophobic , he is just being plain honest!
FINALLY!!!
Genius.
#208
No one says you have to touch another man. Lighten up. They probably wouldn’t want you anyway.
#208
No one said you had to touch another man. Lighten up. Chances are good that no gay man would ever want you anyway.
Yes definitely I agree, however as a brown person I coveted black friends AND chinese friends above gay friends.
This puts Boulder, Colo. back on the White map once again. This isn’t really news for Coloradans but to everyone else in the world, Boulder is a White people paradise. It has been for years and that doesn’t seem like it’s going to change any time soon.
White Mecca?
—
http://thebrokenforum.wordpress.com/
IF ANY OF YOU WHITE FOLKS NEED SOME GAY FRIENDS, WE’VE GOT A WHOLE CONDO FULL OF THEM AT GAYCONDO!
ALLEVIATE THE OVERWHELMING GUILT YOU WILL FEEL WHEN YOU RETURN TO WORK ON MONDAY TO DISCOVER THAT ALL YOUR CO-WORKERS READ THIS BLOG AS WELL AND HAVE ALREADY GONE OUT AND FOUND SOME GAY FRIENDS OVER THE WEEKEND!!!!
http://gaycondo.wordpress.com
Why in hell would someone want to mock tolerance? As someone born and raised in the Mid-West, I can tell you that most white people definitely DO NOT want gay friends. So… you’re going to mock white people that ARE NOT prejudiced? Are you an idiot?
Likewise, I find little reason make fun of someone for looking to travel outside of their country of origin (or countless other “things” that, in all actuality, very few white people like).
Dearest blogger, I take it that you would rather have more white people like Rogue Male, then? I swear, I’ve never read a more ignorant blog.
Curt-
You apparently have no sense of humor.
I hate you.
-gaycondo
http://gaycondo.wordpress.com
I am crackin up!!!! I love having gay friends. I am a progressive and tolerant black person. It feels awesome!
#206
Your “neck of the woods” wouldn’t be red, would it?
To all the people who spend there time complaining about the validity of this site:
http://www.xkcd.com/386/
why do you have no white friends? #147
I love E, who I think needs to comment after every one of Jay’s asininities, and start his/her own blog. . . ‘Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like’.
lame.
My fiancee and I met at a gay bar, which is quite good because it makes me look a) open minded and b) not gay.
there seems to be a whole lot of the “wrong kind of white people” (read: homophobic) commenting on this post, my goodness gracious.
anywho, my white friends are getting a two-fer, the black/gay friend.
All new in “Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like”
#10 Claiming not to be homophobic while explaining why they don’t like or associate with gay people.
my gay friend is one of my closest friends
your blog is hilarious.
and i am so effing white.
This is accurate, unless you happen to be white person who doesn’t care about appearing “progressive and tolerant.” Believe it or not, there are plenty of us who don’t care about rallying for gay rights and blending in at gay pride parades. That doesn’t make me homophobic. It just means that if being gay is normal, why feel the need to acquire specifically gay friends?
Seems you sometimes talk about liberal white people rather than white people in general.
And once again:
This blog is about a specific group of white people (urban, liberal, NPR listeners) as a way to make fun of the tendency historically displayed by white people to lump “other” groups into one category with supposed likes, dislikes, tendencies, etc.
Fashionable girls in cites like Los Angeles use gay male friends as a sort of accessory or pet. Pretty degrading actually.
Please writer please make Snitching the 89th thing white people love doing followed by using phrases such as “whats up girlfriend” while vigurously shaking/snapping their necks fron side to side when greeting black women.
I LOVE WHITE PEOPLE!
white American people are the most obnoxious, self serving bastards on the face of the planet.
I hate you all.
good blog though. i just hope people know this is tongue in cheek, but i seriously doubt it.
Love,
Tim, the 30 yr old whiteboy from NYC.
VIGOROUSLY***
I love the people who are taking this blog seriously. Its almost as funny as the enteries themselves.
Future Suggestion: Photography!
Think about it: the hobby basically revolves around buying expensive gadgets, which is fun. Plus, it doesn’t take THAT much skill (I know some junior photographers are gasping right now but, come on you know it). You basically get to look creative and deep for taking pictures of things that other, more creative people have done.
Bonus! Some security guards now get all uptight when you start taking a bunch of pictures of national monuments and stuff, so you can feel like a freedom fighter, fighting for your rights, without facing any real danger!
Tim, you’re 31.
_______________
Been said before — hope you are coming out with a book, as it’ll sell more than “the Preppy Handbook” did back when Lisa B- did this on a more specific scale.
Truly funny stuff. Thanks.
This blogsite should be renamed to http://stuffyoungwhiteliberalpeoplelike.com. Because it’s right on for them, not so much for white conservatives, which are unfortunately the majority of white American population.
Here’s my suggestion for a future topic.
White people like to use long, often obscure words in their writing that you don’t the definition of to make you think they are smart. This is directly related to the fact that white people want to be writers, and being a writer means dropping vocabulary that you don’t use in speech. An example of such a word used often on these internets is schadenfreude. If you read this word somwhere, it is a guarantee the person who wrote it is white.
Curt (217) – what the hell does tolerance have to do with friends? do you merely tolerate your friends? cause, personally, I like mine. I guess if I were merely collecting token “oppressed people” to hang out with (which is what this post is skewering, duh), I might only tolerate them.
I love this Blog
I am queer, Arab and Muslim and have encountered many of this type of person in my lifetime (the type described by the blog generally). They can never get too close to me though, I am much more partial to the “wrong kind of white person” – you know, the kind that doesn’t treat me like an experiment, a novelty or with pity.
And yeah, most of this stuff is about class too (and being urban) but I’ve noticed that even the rich people of colour I know and/or have met (including Black, Arab, South Asian, Asian etc.) do not seem to have these same traits, so I guess it’s still a white thing!
#217 Curt
The world needs more Rogue Males…;)
Oh yeah, and my intellectual masturbating Expert White Person colleague had an Asian gay friend…but little did he know (I presume) that one of his other Québecois gay friends had a thing for straight guys, which the QGF had revealed on the world wide web (which I think explained why QGF kept coming around EWP’s work station…).
Very accurate. You know that a certain demographic characteristic is valuable when instead of the white person saying, “My friend bought a pair of socks.” The white person says, “My fifty-five year-old gay friend Arjun bought a pair of SmartWool socks.”
A non-white person is likely to note that the age, sexual orientation, and name of the friend are just as irrelevant as the brand of the socks unless you are expected to believe that befriending someone who is older, gayer and more Indian than thirty-year old straight Gary is somehow better.
So, whats your take on white people always trying to imitate the indian accent when talking about motels or gas stations???
Huh?
Katie #230 hit the nail on the head.
The majority of us don’t even CARE about gay people! What’s the big deal?!
Another thing white people like to do:
Write blogs. Especially!
—> blogs about what white people like.
Prove me wrong.
@ thebrokenforum “This puts Boulder, Colo. back on the White map once again. This isn’t really news for Coloradans but to everyone else in the world, Boulder is a White people paradise.”
—Woo hoo Boulder!
~black woman fr. colorado
What about Asian Lesbians? 😦
@238 – JakeGint do you know me, or did you just read my profile? I did turn 31 a month ago. Im not quite used to it yet.
@236 – Patrick
and? your white too, huh? “White people like to not take themselves seriously”
right?
White People don’t tend to like lesbians as much, I think. We’re not as “fabulous” as the guys according to the White People sterotypes!
great. another reason for white people to hide things they like, because another white person decided to write a blog poking fun at (mostly) normal, understandably likable things, (t shirts? what the hell do other people wear in the summer i wonder?) don’t anyone dare post anything about other racial groups, because that would be racist.
this is offensive. keeping an open mind means you accept each and every person for what they are and are not. now, many white people that read this blog will want to hide the fact they like these things in their futile attempts to seem as un-white as possible. it seems that being white is uncool lately. while people out there are fighting racism, we have blogs like this, which are simply putting the shoe on the other foot. unless racism against white people doesn’t count for some reason?
White people like lesbians so they can shop for organic food together and talk about sarah silverman.
#253 – Anon
Despite your anonymous moniker, I whole heartedly agree with you…
and to answer your question:
White people love to hate themselves. Or something to that effect.
I mean, if it werent for all the other white people I would probably love myself. But instead I wallow in self pity and hate.
First off I wanna say this guy is brilliant BUT I must add
that the main reason this works is cuz it’s against white people.
Whoever is writing this blog should include as another thing “white people like” is to willingly accept, in fact demand, criticism of their own. This site as I said is brilliant but only works because it’s directed at white people. Or else it would be viewed as a right wing hate blog, which it is not. Everything is so true and intelligent explanations are provided for each one. Keep it up
and please consider adding what i said as another thing white poeple like. For instance #98 “Demanding criticism”
Another classic. The line ““This guy/girl hit on me, I said I was ’straight but not narrow,’ and it was totally chill. Oh, you went to an Irish bar this weekend? That’s cool, I guess. “ is pure hilarity.
I feel sorry for gay people for having to put up with such annoying friends as White People. The White People mean well though, so if you’re gay and have White People as friends, be nice to them.
You know what white people really love? This blog. As a white person, nothing matches the smug sense of irony I get from indulging in the controlled bursts of self-loathing that I can find here with each and every post. Being able to laugh at our own ridiculous white-ness adds to your credibility even more than having a gay black friend with a child would (and I seriously doubt the existence of this mythical creature). As I prepare for a weekend of lounging around with my Japanese wife, half asian children, wearing outdoor performance clothes and a t-shirt, sipping coffee and listening to NPR while I read the Sunday Times, I know I can depend on another post on this sight to bring me back to earth.
PS- If you stop posting, I will DEFINITELY be moving to Canada.
Many white leftists have an intense identification with the problems of groups that have an image of being weak, defeated, repellent, or otherwise inferior. They themselves feel that these groups are inferior. They would never admit it to themselves that they have such feelings, but it is precisely because they do see these groups as inferior that they identify with their problems.
spot on about Britney Spears and Will and Grace
white girls love to be “fag hags,” especially overweight white girls who have decided that they will never get a guy because they are not hot enough.
yeah, White people are stupid.
Give them sad looks of pity as you see them walk by. They dont know any better.
Gay people are INSIGNIFICANT to most people. I am one of these people…..
A Lithuanian midget with a tattoo of a treasure map on their bottom lip however…VERY significant.
This could be the most racist piece of trash I have ever had the misfortune of reading.
This country is under the mistaken idea that if you’re talking about white people, your comments are not racist. This is incorrect.
The double standard in this country on racism needs to end. If this article was titled “What black people like”, you would probably already be under investigation by the NAACP.
Get bent you bastard.
YES! so true!
http://www.socialvibe.com/?r=46
http://myspace.com/clareatx
to the haters – – this site is an excellent example of humor being used to break down (or at least acknowledge) social barriers.
that said, i wish this tidbit of social commentary was true across the board. there are a lot of white people who prefer to classify gay people as immoral or their lifestyle as wrong. perhaps this ones goes under “stuff hippie-liberal white people like”.
#263
U R Obtuse.
I think I’ve taken this particular facet of white culture to a new level. I like having gay friends so much, I started working for a gay group.
In this case, is there too much of a good thing?
As a white-person I can honestly say, this site reads like a visit to Borders Books.
Which reminds me, don’t forget to include: self-help books, the occult, graphic novels (Adult-oriented comic books), and books about human sexuality… white people love that stuff.
Likewise, we love board games, expesnive pens/stationary/greeting cards, and going to workout at “the gym”.
My husband and I moved into a new neighbourhood just in time for the annual block party. My husband called the number on the flyer in our mailbox to say we would be attending. Apparently there was a problem with the neighbor’s voice mail and my name was misheard. We showed up at the party with a cheese plater and when we introduced ourselves the disappointment on their faces was amazing, one of the other guest told us they were expecting a couple named Scott and Ron..not Scott and Rhonda. I suppose they were disappointed to see an average interracial couple instead of a ultra-cool gay couple..dreams of deep ultra-intelligent discussions regarding same sex marriage and free design tips shattered.
I’m white and LOVE LOVE LOVE this blog. It’s hilarious. Fuck the NAACP
I myself i’m mexican one of the others they talk about. my friends are black,white,brown,yellow,dark brown,and gay. I’ve droped my cousin who is gay and his gay friends (who are all friends of mine now) off at the gay bar but never went in. I only say this because they at the end of the day make me feel better about myself this is ture. Butt they make me feel better because, at the end of a bad day i can call them hearing all of their words helps. Bad day or good day. And as much as sum of you don’t like it a good point has been made about what is FRIEND SHIP???
P.S. when i read this i coulden’t help butt smile, because white people or not it’s still very fuckin funny from the outside lookin innnnnnn.
ITS FUNNY… BECAUSE ITS TRUE.
ITS LIKE HOW I LIKE HAVING WHITE FRIENDS AROUND INCASE SHIT GOES DOWN… YOU GOTTA HAVE SOMEONE TALK TO THE POLICE
A little added detail to post no. 18 by Dan:
Not only do white ppl love to leave comments on blogs, they also feel most superior when they’re THE FIRST to respond to a post, and always come up with just “FIRST” (and some others variation, like 1st) (see post no. 84 and several others to see for yourself). Perhaps those ppl who post these “first”(but ironically find themselves sometimes being at second posts) took too much care (spelling for example, lol) of their one-word-only post, a.k.a “first”?
But well, you know, maybe I’m being sarcastic just because I’ve never had the “priviledge” of being a “first-er” ? 🙂
Attributing characteristics to those of other races, gender, sexuality, religions = discriminatory
Attributing characteristics to those of other races, gender, sexuality, religions by a member of the dominant power structure (you know who you are) = racist
or sexist or homophobic or ______ist
#32 Jay – homobhobe.
I love my gay friends, I love my minority friends, I love microbrews andI love my life! How cool is that?!
I guess all those supermodels with gay pals are fat and definitely not hot. Sheesh Straight AND Narrow!
Even better: I want to make friends with someone who has a disability solely so that I can wait for someone to comment about it so that I can then condescendingly rebuke that person. I can’t wait…
#122
“My husband likes her too. Does that make us politically correct to this generation?”
It sure does lady, you’re as white as they come… in fact I think you’re the grandmother of the “Stuff White People Like” generation.
267 am_hollitz: You rock! How could I have been so blind!!!
I’m staring at a set of rosewood and 18K gold Watermans in a Lalique pen holder, along with an ebony and cocobolo wodd letter opener. I’ve had them for such a long time that they’re invisible.
That should read; cocobolo wood.
you met a gay friend when you were both too young to know what that even was…does that get you off the hook of being calculating in your friendships? please, Patrick, do enlighten us…
You’re only a pseudo-hipster if you say gay & tolerance in the same sentence.
If you don’t ACCEPT gay people, you’re only one generation away from your dust bowl granny.
So if you’re strutting around like some grand panjamaron, TOLERATING gays, you’re out of touch.
sorry, i mean Christian
This is some of the best humor on the Internet!
i really hate this fucking blog.
i don’t know why I have to check it obsessively.
If this post were true then why didn’t I get more popular after I came out of the closet? I have the same amount of friends now only they are all gay!
Humor is a very weak defense for this blog. Dave Chappell is funny as hell while breaking down barriers, your blog isn’t even close. All you are doing is providing a venue for people to come together and celebrate their dislike of another color of people, you should be ashamed.
Please write about how much white people like drum circles and golden retrievers, and while you’re at it; progressive Chritianity… Please?
Just start another account as TSM. I think someone was ragging on the Sabres in the NHL thread. Go, attack!
i noticed that white females constantly when referring to a gay friend will constantly call them my gay friend even if the subject has nothing to do with gayness.
example.
my gay friend john his mom has the flu.
my gay friend dave was born in new jersey
im a white hetero dude and i notice girls are nicer to me when im with my gay friends and they just assume i am not a male chauvenist pig which is so wrong to assume about me
I think you’ve only missed me on 4-5 posts. Ditto that you should note progressive Christianity. And U2. And New Zealand. And Sigur Ros. And (fill in the blank)tinis. And blogs.
Comment #37
“You don’t get to try dick. Once you’ve had one in your mouth, your gay. It’s OK for chicks, though.”
Wow, PW, I didn’t realize that that was the way it was. Thanks for enlightening me.
An added benefit to white people having gay friends, is fixing up their gay friends. Mostly gay co-workers with gay friends.
And though there are varying levels of having gay friends, the true progressive white person with real gay friends has seen a fisting movie or website and swapped stories about nearly crapping your pants in the car or actually crapping your pants (sharting counts) at work.
Hey, I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.
My husband has two close friends. Both are queer. My two best friends are lesbyterians.
I think it’s because they aren’t childed.
(Is discussing childfreedom one of the things other white people like?)
http://blackpeopleloveus.com/
The Kinsey Sicks (kinseysicks.com) have a song EXACTLY about this phenomenon called “Rent a Homo.” It goes something like “Rent a homo for your party, take your favorite of the pack; rent a homo for your party, sometimes one but never both are black.”
There indeed is a certain type of person that loves having gay people for window dressing (or love the window dressings that gay people can do for them). But who cares, better fascination than hate!
RE: #263
I totally agree. Save the endangered, extremely oppressed white people (especially the straight male ones) from RACIST blogs like this one. A white man can’t even get a good job anymore ’cause they gave ’em all to the homos and blacks! This racist double standard must end now. You’re right, if I started a blog about how blacks like fried chicken and crack cocaine I’d be chased off the Web, yet blogs like this, which highlight white people’s like of Grad School, gay people, recycling and sushi are allowed to proliferate and ruin white people’s quality of life and ridicule their race. It’s probably part of a Zionist or dyke feminist conspiracy.
http://himynameisadam.wordpress.com/
Wow, 2.50/lb. for peppers? What a deal!
Living in a gay zip code.
Question to Anonymous at boat slip #24: What is an “anthopologist?” Your penance will be to write “a-n-t-h-r-o-p-o-l-o-g-i-s-t one thousand times on the blackboard. Also a written apology or,more precisely, an anthro-apology (haw, haw) for your misspelling should be mailed certified mail to the master of this blog. If he deigns to absolve you, your soul like your skin will become as white as the driven snow.
Faggots burn in hell. End of story. No one should acknowledge they even exist, well actually it would be better if they were round up and shot but the American Government is to pussy to do it.
I’d gladly do it.
Bug (#87):
“Any red blooded white American male would want nothing to do with a male gay friend. Fuck that! It’s ok for women to have gay shopping buddies, but the day that I legitmize myself by having a fag friend is the day I run head first into traffic.”
I’m a red-blooded, white, American male who has a number of gay friends; although I strangely just think of them as friends, period. The fact that they are gay has nothing to do with why I consider them friends, just as with my friends who are black, hispanic, female, etc. In fact, I’m so red-blooded that I don’t have to bash homosexuals just to feel secure in my masculinity. I’ve even gone to a gay bar and had a great time (and got lots of free drinks too). And guess what, I didn’t walk out liking men! I also live in the South, and am a Republican.
I hope you find that “fag” friend soon, and that you pick a fucking interstate.
Jay (#88):
“I have no need to affirm my masculinity or to express my distaste for gay people. I simply don’t care enough about them to want to be friends with them. There is nothing intriguing about gay people in my opinion. They do their gay thing and I do my straight thing. It’s that simple. No hate. Just different lifestyles that are not comparable.”
So apparently who someone has sex with and how they do so forms the entirety of someone’s entire being. Interesting to learn. You don’t have to “care” about the gay “lifestyle” in order to be friends with one. I could care less about Queer-Eye, Bravo, Madonna, or the Oscars. Fortunately, I base my friendships on more than tired stereotypes. Most of my gay friends also happen to like sports, politics, country music, and beer–things I enjoy. Imagine that; they’re actually well-rounded *people*! And yes, some nights we split off and they do their downtown “gay thing” and I do my uptown “straight thing”, and we’re still all friends the next day. Hard to believe, isn’t it? You’d probably be shocked to learn that they often party uptown with me and my other straight friends. This must come as a great shock to you, especially since you are apparently incapable of seeing people as individuals, and only as generalized groups. Christ, if you hate gay people so much (which you *clearly* do), just say it; don’t make yourself look like an idiot by trying to justify it.
Both of you give us straight white guys a bad name.
#303: You’re laboring under the assumption that your ingrained stereotype of gays is the only valid or true one, i.e. the fearful, meek willowy gay male who would rather flee than confront.
What are you going to do when you find out that there are legions of gay men AND women who could take you out, if they had to, without a weapon?
Be afraid my Australopithecine friend, be VERY afraid…….
What if you are the gay, white friend? I feel like the super white people are fairly sexually ambiguous anyway.
That’s hilarious. I know some gay people who like this blog…
http://moveitmoveit.wordpress.com
More Stuff White People Like
* Shopping at Goodwill when they absolutely can afford full-price, and then loudly announcing that they shop at Goodwill, to avoid (1) creating more demand for clothes manufactured under unfair labor conditions, and (2) as a part of their “voluntary simplicity” and “green” lifestyle.
* To “see and be seen” at the local recycling center (if their area doesn’t offer curbside pickup) so everyone will know how “green” they are.
* Cloth Diapers – because they allow White Parents to spend ungodly amounts of money on trendy cloth diaper covers, with a high premium placed on brand labels. Making what they claim to be “self-deprecating” references to themselves as “cloth diaper hyenas” (look it up, no kidding!) Using Cloth Diapers allows White People to act even more smug than usual about their parenting practices, sighing loudly as they complain about the “little bit of extra effort” but insisting that it’s absolutely worth it, to save the planet… (As they cast disapproving glances at your child’s Huggied hiney…)
* Attachment Parenting (see “cosleeping”) This approach to parenting allows those White Parents who have no ability whatsoever to set limits and maintain boundaries (or any sort of authoritative parenting style) to feel validated in their parenting approach. White People who practice “AP” are referred to by Non-White People and The Wrong Kind of White People as overly permissive and sometimes downright creepy, but clearly, those who would say such things just don’t Get It. If you want to befriend a White Person, just don a baby sling (don’t be caught dead pushing your baby in a stroller… Oh, unless it’s a Bugaboo Frog or Chameleon or Bee… But we’ll save that for another entry. Who said White People can’t be inconsistent?) Also, be sure to ask White People if they’re experiencing any sleep deprivation due to the baby keeping them up, and when they say yes, be sure to ask where the baby sleeps, to give White People a chance to “in our bed, in between us.” If you nod your head enthusiastically, you will gain trust. If you didn’t co-sleep with your own children, you should compliment them with a “Gosh, that’s awesome that you can do that, it’s so good for bonding” type response, and look chastened. This will help the White People feel smug and superior to you. Then ask them if they can please give you their Bugaboo Frog when their child outgrows it. Or ask them to help you move.
* Montessori or Waldorf Schools – Listen as White People issue to you their public school disclaimers (they went to only public schools through 12th grade, their parent was a public school teacher, they majored in education and fully intended to send their children to public schools, etc.) but, unfortunately, All That Has Changed Now (due to things like No Child Left Behind and standards-based testing) and now they are forced to send their three to six year old to private preschool. Listen sympathetically as the White People insist repeatedly how much they believe in the “idea” of public education, and how they hope to see it change before their children are out of their school years, because they would really like/prefer for their kids to experience the racial and socioeconomic diversity that public school offers, but…” Nod knowingly as they fail to finish the sentence. Pretend that you’re not insulted as they say this, with your own kids in public school and doing just fine, thanks.
Anonymous (#298).
Blacks and homos get all the good jobs? I’m a lawyer. I make a ton of money. I’m white and straight. In fact, the vast majority of people in my firm are white and straight. Don’t be bitter because some black or gay guy who is smarter than you, went to a better college (assuming you even did, which seems hard to believe), got better grades, and is overall more pleasant to be around and more talented, got a better job than you.
Wait…Grad school, gays, recycling and sushi are “ruining” white culture?? Do any of those things even have anything to do with race?? I’m sorry to hear that your ideal white person is an uneducated, uncultured, xenophobic redneck. Do you even read what you write before you post it?
Grad school ruining white culture lolol. Yes, all those white lawyers, doctors and investment bankers are just dragging the race into the abyss….
What is it with dumbass rednecks and their hatred of education? Why is ignorance and stupidity celebrated? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills…
For the people who think it’s hilarious that people take this blog seriously, I wonder what the reaction would be if I started a blog called “Things Black People Like” and then wrote a completely honest list. I would no doubt be lambasted as a horribly ignorant racist. Oprah herself would probably feel the need to step in with her opinion. At least it would give Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson a new cause with which to enrich themselves by playing the victim/race card.
I have been going thru withdrawals for two days since outdoor performance clothes.PLease dont ever stop again
http://www.5millionpageviews.com
Ha ha ha!! This is pretty funny. I wonder if you will ever run out of ideas?
I personally think it is possible, but I also think that as time goes on white people will like different things and do different things. So I think your probably set for awhile.
Of course you might want to get ride of those other blogs, like “stuff educated black people like” and that other blog what was it….. oh yeah “Stuff white trash people like” cuz their kinda ruining your image. Good luck 🙂
http://www.5millionpageviews.com
you should make a sitcom based on blog… you’ve already got 88 posts, that’s enough for 3-4 seasons!… it seems like something FOX would buy, non?
Stuff white people like:
1. Not being niggers.
I was reading this blog kind of laughing, but at the same time couldn’t help thinking something was wrong with it.
The problem with this blog is only trageting urban hipster/yuppie types that probably only make up 15-20% of white people in North America. A lot of yuppies are second generation immagrants and black people also.
Most stereo-typical white people live in the suburbs, watch TV, barbeque and couldn’t give a rats ass about organic food, yoga etc.
This attributes in this blog are based more on social class and location–not race.
“A lot of yuppies are second generation immagrants and black people also.”
—-
Oh I’d love to see your proof for this gem…. (and, by the way, it’s spelled “immIgrants”).
So are you saying that most black people are second generation immigrants (like the descendants of all those slaves who “immigrated” here hundreds of years ago) or that a lot of yuppies are also black?
The sad part (for you) is that 15-20% of “urban hipster/yuppie types” probably take in 80% of “white” income.
#309 – dude, that was sarcastic, and not remotely subtle about it.
White people like having gay friends about as much as black people like having white friends. And you can take my word for it, because I’m actually a lesbian trapped in a man’s body…
#318: You’re not trapped. Do something about it.
harlemjd (#317): Whoops. My bad if it was. I’m just used to dealing with people who share (and express) those same views on a daily basis. The sad thing is they’re not the least bit sarcastic about it.
I don’t know if Jay is especially homophobic or not… but I can say that he’s at least mildly xenophobic. And probably pretty “flat” in person. (Who the heck wants a circle of friends “just like me”? Talk about stunting a person’s growth and worldview!)
Anyway, apart from his oddball desire only to socialize with Jay-clones, I think Jay’s problem with gay people stems from popular portrayals of gay guys combined with a lack of experience. He, like many Americans (including many gay guys themselves) have been duped into believing that sexual orientation and identity are necessarily intertwined.
But, they’re not. There is no genetic, biological, or other predetermined factor that causes a guy to wear tight T-shirts, speak flamboyantly, and dance. These are just matters of cultural absorption — some people need a group belonging more than others, and consequently, some gay guys have consciously or subconsciously adopted characteristics that help them fit into a particular social group.
This is no different from the “clone” dress, speech patterns, mannerisms, and interests you will find among members of sororities and fraternities. It’s exactly the same social process at work.
For Jay’s sake, I think it would be an interesting and healthy surprise if one of his “straight” friends turned out to be gay or bisexual. This would perhaps show him that, indeed, whether or not one “takes it up the ass” is a poor indicator of one’s personality and character.
Your blog is marrrrrvelous. Great writing. Such deadpan humour. And just the sort of thing that gets all sorts of people all upset/confused/angry/defensive/insulting/insulted for every wrong reason in every very entertaining way. My sister just pointed me to your writing/site/work as something I would be sure to enjoy and she was right. Quite brilliant! Props. Ultra.
To #279, smrt–Thank you for making me laugh.
Believe me, it was not my intention, 30 years ago, to become the “grandmother of all stuff white people like”. Who knew? Maybe there is some truth to this. I was actually a pariah back then.
#308: Love your post.
I’m a liberal white guy who lives on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I love sushi, coffee, and have a graduate degree that I didn’t really need about a subject that isn’t lucrative for the vast majority of people who have this degree. I’m not homophobic, have no problem with gay people, but I don’t get this one. And I don’t get the similar black person item, either. If I have gay or black friends, that’s cool. But if not, that’s cool, also. Some people here are like, “OMG that’s ME you’re describing!” Personally, for me, I just don’t get this one and I don’t know anyone in my circle who would.
You are a comic genius! I love all of your posts. Are you a girl?
…
(that was a joke people!)
How about putting up their damn feet in movie theaters!?!?
JEEZ!
I just checked my myspace page to take inventory of how many straight friends I have… not many. And most of them are DJs. DJs love to have gay friends because gay people will come to their parties and dance but don’t get into fistfights when they get drunk, and can hook them up with more DJing gigs and/or drugs.
Next item on the list of Stuff White People Like: being a DJ, or pretending to be a DJ
im not white but i love my gay friends totally! bunch of wild and fun peeps to hang out with! =)
p.s. vinyl only, please
Okay let’s get one thing straight (no pun intended):
Just like there is a “wrong kind of white” there is a “wrong kind of gay.” And listening to the avowed-Republican Britnery Spears qualifies (Chris Crocker).
And may I add that this thread seems to have brought out the highest number of shit-for-brains commenters (also the wrong kind of white, no doubt). Let’s count them:
#’s 32 (Jay the homophobe-in-denial), 37, 72, 87 (Bug), 169, 180, 191, 206, 208/243, and 303.
Also, Rob G. @ #116, by your comments you probably live in a red-state, which as this site has said numerous times is populated by the “wrong kind of white.” (And you’re probably wrong by association.)
Finally, let’s make this abundantly clear: If you feel you have to preface a statement by saying, “I’m not homophobic, but…,” YOU’RE HOMOPHOBIC!!!!!!!!
#208:
you only cringe at the thought of another guy touching you sexually because you’re worried–nay, you KNOW–you would actually enjoy it.
you are homophobic because you don’t want people to know you’re gay. what you don’t realize is a lot of people have figured out this coverup and already know you are.
“Now there are media reports that a white gay man was raped by a black man in the Castro.
According to recent news reports Mark Welsh chokes up as he describes his rape last fall and the word his two assailants kept repeating. “They kept saying ‘faggot’ over and over again. It went on for what seemed like forever.” Welch is a 51-year-old owner of a video store in the Castro district.”
Man, I thought it was annoying that some of my liberal, white friends were sort of collecting me. But I find the people who emphatically DO NOT want me around to be even more alarming. Do they think their hot, hunky, trans-fat filled, pasty, bloated, green vegetable abhorring manflesh is so irresistible that queers are all quietly lusting for them? Or, perhaps more likely, are they all too confused by that once incident in 7th grade and hope that if they bar any queers from their life, they never have to worry about it again?
Serious, the only thing that makes sense is that they (the homophobic white dudes) define themselves entirely in terms of their actions in regards to the genitals of others and themselves. That’s fucking weird. Must be a side effect of owning a TV.
You website should be renamed what “liberal yuppies like”. I’m white and I dislike 80 percent of what “what people like”.
LOL!!!!
Hey, all you idiots using the term “homophobic”: NOBODY CARES ANYMORE.
The slur is useless and meaningless.
other useless terms:
“bigot”
“anti-semite”
“xenophobe”
All so overused, that nobody, especially Whites, even cares about them.
Sean:
Really. Homos are quite the disgusting bunch. That photo of the two acting all normal and family-like is a joke. Imagine the disgusting things the two of them do to get off. The human body was not meant for such acts. Read my blog post on how they are now discussing with one another on “The Future of Anal Sex.” It’ll make you puke.
http://incogman.wordpress.com/
We have a live one on the line!!!
Nola08 is exactly the type of person this website satirizes. The irony is too rich. He doesn’t even see it.
Go ahead, buddy….call me “uncultured”, xenophobic, uneducated, blah blah blah….you are running out of terms to use on people here.
Oh, yeah ….you could call me a “redneck” though because I am an inbred: My name is “cohen” and we’ve been boinking our cousins for many centuries.
303-
Yeah. That’s totally true. Because as history will show you, rounding up entire groups of people and trying to exterminate them is a totally awesome idea.
Whoops….jk. Well, better luck next time.
New in Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like:
#11 – Bragging about how much they’d beat the crap out of any guy who hits on them (while presuming that any self-respecting gay man would do such a thing). Not because they’re homophobic or anything.
#12 – Talking about how “different” gay people are from themselves. Because clearly, gay people go to gay jobs and drive gay cars and ride on gay subways and eat gay food and go to gay movies and listen to gay music and go to gay concerts and live in gay apartments.
#13 – NASCAR.
gays live lonely lives, suffer more depression than heteros, and have much higher STD rates than heteros.
I dont have any black or gay friends, guess I’m a homophobic racist.
oh well
I wont have any trouble sleeping tonight
….and waaaaaaaa!!!!…..there’s nothing you gays can do about it.
‘Brokeback’ hurt the gay propaganda effort more than it helped. You pillow-biters need better advsiors!!! ha
PS I have rarely met gay person that isn’t a raving hateful anti-Christian bigot.
(Well, except maybe a few gay pedophile priests, who are basically liars anyway.)
fuck’em Andy, their slurs are meaningless
#340 Andy, these people are depressed idiots.
Their slurs are meaningless. They need new hate material for heteros. Overused terms.
I am beginning to think this is more “Things Over Educated Middle Class Liberals Like” because this is not speaking for the working class redneck suburbia I grew up in. Still very amusing
Does anyone want to count the number of times the STD-carrying, depressed, anti-Christian bigoted, hetero-hating gays have used the term “homophobic on this thread?
It would be appreciated.
Gays really do need a better retort and more clever hate speech. The term is old and overused.
Not many gay guys here in Little Africa… would a zoöphile make an acceptible substitute?
Wonderful guy. He’d walk a mile for a camel…
Gays make good friends and poor cell mates.
Blacks have no tolerance for gays.
racism isn’t cool
#341: “I have rarely met gay person that isn’t a raving hateful anti-Christian bigot.”
You carry your religion like a loaded gun.
“We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.” – Jonathan Swift
#350 I see the truth hit a nerve with you.
#347 I thought in prison a homo was a valued cell mate! No?
Coerced blow-jobs and anal ripping. Pimp the homo out for some cash, etc.
http://www.spr.org/ Stop Prison Rape website
Disturbing, but some homos get-off on reading the stories. Homos have a genre of fiction devoted to prison rape. Sick stuff.
This is a bizarre post…
I hate straight people.
google: prison rape porn
….and see how depraved homosexuals can be. Sick.
Clander needs to find a publisher and make a book!
*He/she never runs out of ideas . . .
comedy people
comedy.
now, completely ignoring the incredible hate and ignorance being spewed by both sides of this threard:
this would explain why i have so many white friends. haha.
It occurred to me that all of us commenting on this site are in a sense honorary paying customers. (No one will believe this fantastic coincidence, but I am about to make something like the same point recorded above BEFORE I read it). Do you think Clander, alias the Master will sell his collective wisdom to a publisher? Would you buy what you have already read for free? (No, I am not Clander’s brother, though I love him like one.)
No, #351: I’m not shackled by superstition, especially the intolerant fire and brimstone kind, so there are no singed nerves here.
white people like tea… it is THE drink of choice. everyone has tea bag tags hanging out of their reusable mugs from starbucks, etc…
#360 You are an intolerant bigot. You can’t hide your Christian-hatred, sorry.
#356: Did you Google “rape”, you know, the heterosexual kind while you were at it, or is that more condemnation than you’re ready to handle with your hypocrisy?
#363: There are Christians, then there are Machiavellian religious hijackers; bent on creating wedges among people who would probably be open to discussing their differences if they weren’t burdened with intolerance.
You don’t like gay people even though they’re all around you, and have probably been there for you when you needed a hand.
Your hijacker mentality is what’s slowing down the social evolution of this country.
The issue of accepting gay men and women is already on the table, and there isn’t a damned thing that you can do to stop it.
So sit down, break some bread with people who are different from you and broaden your perspective on life.
Oh, and at the very least bring a bottle of wine or something – none of that stuff in a box – OK?
Hello Whites!!
See how this game is played? How those that hate Whites play it, over and over, ad nauseum using “slurs” as a technique to avoid truth, honesty, and facts?
Use the following words when referring others that one hates:
bigot
xxxxxx-phobic
hateful
xxxxxx-hating
inbred
intolerant
racist
anti-xxxxxxxx
It’s really easy!!
“An anti-semitic and Christian-hating homosexual showed his bigotry and intolerance yesterday when he accused knuckle-dragging blacks that have disdain for gays as acting like Zionist supremacists because of their level of exclusionary hatred.”
“The same homosexual furthermore insulted many by referring to Jewish people as close inbreds.”
Just interchange the same words over and over, and you too can be an American journalist that hates Whites!
Go ahead homosexuals, call me a “homophobe” or a “bigot”. LOL!!!!! Big Yawn. You guys hate, and you know it.
Great Cesaers ghost this is funny!!!!
Listen to #364, snobby: “bring a bottle of wine, not in a box…..”
Whatever.
Straight White males that belong to families are responsible for all the great wines of the Western world. Gays are ridiculous in their arrogance considering what they put on display on their community’s day of pride. Proud of that?
LOL!!!!!!!!
well put
“It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity – like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker”
I laughed
#368 are you jerking off in that avatar?
GAYS may not be a race but they are the next group of people to be set to slavery.
Who needs GAY friends when there is so much fine Pussy to be played with.
“While white people love being a part of any movement”
Truer words were never spoken.
Look what kinda following Obama’s getting.
That’s a mega, white social movement.
#367 wrote:
“Straight White males that belong to families are responsible for all the great wines of the Western world.”
Sure, if you consider Jive 7 and Gypsy Rose “great wines of the western world”.
Great; a Hooterville “hetra-sekshul” fancies himself an Oenophile.
umm, i have a gay black friend! ever since high school–and he’s awesome
just so you all know–i am the best white person, and when i have kids with my partner (we aren’t ‘married’ that’s an oppressive idea–)
our kids will be the most progressive!
no lezbo’s for me. I want a guy with something hard and large.
this one was definately a better post. enjoyed it
http://www.platenuts.com
Are you referring to Obama’s minister?
Those “lezbo’s” are so possessive…..not, says the grammar cop.
Excellent blog. I hope to go through this blog sometime soon. Love it and keep the good thing up.
You’ve got a point….
its thats true ?
As a 43 year old gay white male who has been out since the age of 18, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. If this was meant to be funny, I don’t get the joke, and if the social commentary was meant to be taken seriously, then I don’t agree with what you are trying to say. I’ll assume you meant this to be a real social commentary.
As with most gay people, and I hope all people, I have friends of all types. They are friends OF MY CHOOSING. I have never allowed myself to become anybody’s token.
Now, by all accounts, I probably don’t live what would be considered a “gay life style”. I don’t march in parades, hang out in gay bars; I don’t even have a lot of gay friends myself. That is because I believe in integration, not segregation. I have always struggled with terms like “gay bar”, “gay cruise”, “gay beach”, or “gay neighborhood”. I don’t like those words and don’t like what they mean. Why does a bar have to be gay or straight, why isn’t it just a bar?
So my advice is simple, pick your own friends based on YOUR needs as opposed to being someone’s friend based on theirs.
Black or white, gay or straight or whatever, why can’t we all just get along, be more understanding and accepting and relate to one another on an honest and human level. Im as straight as a door nail, white female, i have gay friends that are fantastic and straight aswell, i think it comes down to respect for one another. Interesting article, i have a friend who has a gay son being 14 at a crucial age, he has tried to take his own life because he is being so ridiculed and unnacepted – education starts from the home its amazing how many people are still so prejudiced in our modern world, whatever the sexual preference is what does it matter, what happens behind closed doors is an individual choice, why can’t we just leave it at that and just get over ourselves lol but true what is said that some people take it as a ticket to have a gay friend i have seen it many times, gayness has been around since beginning of time people why is it so hard for us to accept this? and if someone gay hits on you why can’t people just say no thanks, communicate …
yes
it saddened me when the lesbian mothers moved off our block with their children of artificial incemination
as I knew their demographic would be replaced by just standard white people
sure enough
white people moved in and we lost our token gay parents on the block
I am a white-ist
white culture makes me sick
I have never watched American Idol
I do not watch sports on TV
at work I do not give co workers high fives or that fist hello
yet I myself am very white
especially when I dance
ok, so I just woke up and and havent had my (BLACK!) coffee yet, so maybe I’m just grumpy…but, at the risk of making an “im white feel sorry for me” or an “I can’t take a joke” comment, I gotta say, shit like this is SUPER tired at this point…this trite “white people only have ulterior motives for having gay/black friends” joke is has been made so many times, for so long, and is rarely relevant in halfway progressive urban centres anymore, that a white dude like me reads it and is just like ‘what the fuck? okay, would you prefer I dragged fags behind my car and burned crosses??’…i realize its just a joke, but seriously dude, pick a better target instead one thats so played out and self congratulatory…
here’s an example, only slightly modified from above, to illustrate my point:
“Once a (person making tired white jokes) has told you about their (tired white jokes), it is recommended that you say “I wish more people were like you,” every few months. This will allow them to feel good about their progressive choice of (tired white jokes) and remind them that they are better than other white people.”
see what I mean? okay I have my coffee now, I’ll probably read the post again and laugh, I had to get that off my chest though
#308 “More Stuff White People Like
Shopping at Goodwill when they absolutely can afford full-price, and then loudly announcing that they shop at Goodwill, to avoid (1) creating more demand for clothes manufactured under unfair labor conditions, and (2) as a part of their “voluntary simplicity” and “green” lifestyle.
To “see and be seen” at the local recycling center (if their area doesn’t offer curbside pickup) so everyone will know how “green” they are.”
Am I to understand you do these things for all to see or that we should support slave labor and waste?
My last gay friend died. (But not from AIDS. No cache that.) Now what?
thank you #385….my (#384) point exactly, differently said…what the fuck is wrong with goodwill? these posts get so self congratulatory sometimes, usually by “making fun” of “white” people by “describing” perfectly normal and respectable “activities” with “excessive” us of quotation “marks””””…i will (again) illustrate with example…
——White people don’t murder their friends, even if they are rich enough to get away with it, because they think that it will show other white people how “progressive” they are and how much they “respect the value of human life”. White people will deliberately make “friends” and act “friendly” towards them, so as to prove to others that their murderous rage is in check. White people want other white people to look at them and think “oh my, he hasn’t murdered any of his friends, how sane and considerate he is!”. In conversation, white people will mention murderers that they have read about in the (white) news, so that those around them can see how “enlightened” and “normal” they are in comparison.
@#6
How is Ohio the most intolerant state against gays? Ohio is the 6th gayest state in the nation with 4.0% of its population (335,110 people) claiming to be gay.
Click to access SameSexCouplesandGLBpopACS.pdf
White people usually, but not always, have gay/lesbian friends that other lesbians/gays avoid for the most part. We know a lesbian and a homosexual that hold up this observation. Maybe it is us or my significant spouse rather than the gay people who have very few, if any, gay friends.
“a gay black friend with a child”
I’ve got a gay friend (with a farm) who is one of two mommies to an adopted black child. That’s got to count for something. We’re looking forward to the time her child is old enough to play with our non-adopted white child.
Gee, our farms abut each other on the backside. Does that mean I’m a lesbian? Hmm…
Hopefully, you will a times hit your knees and thank your Father above for all of the white warriors who died for your freedom to trash and dilute their great race.
I often thank God for people like you. For it is YOU, those who subsribe to your blather, and Obama/his wife, who will light a fire under White European-Americans once and for all. Bad news for you, White America (those with a brain and spine) is awakening, and it really sucks to be you.
You should visit my response to your blog sometime:
http://jayrock72.wordpress.com/stuff-black-people-like/
P.S. It’s okay, I know you won’t publish it on your site…great white people aslo gave you the freedom to be spineless.
WHAT A RACIST WEBSITE….IF we had a site talking about black people or any other race.. Sharpton would be all over TV getting it kicked off the net.
what racist Bullshit. And I do not fall into any of these categories….. so its just like saying all black people have fucked up teeth…. most do, but not all….o sry…that was racist wasnt it…
Perhaps it’s rather gays that have straight friends because they are a minority and consequently a majority of their friends are going to be straight.
So maybe it’s hip for a gay person to have some white friends. Having a gay friend just isn’t a priority to most people. It is a friendship most white people happen to have, just don’t have, or don’t want to have… but I’ve never met someone of any race who felt progressive for having a gay friend.
I have a daughter who has adopted her partner’s daughter, the product of artificial insemination. The father/sperm downor acts like an uncle to four-year-old granddaughter who calls him by his first name.
I bugged my daughter and her out of law partner to come up with a term for [dad]. “Is she going to introduce him at ‘show and tell’ at kindergarten, ‘I want to introduce my sperm donor?'”
They dithered. In the meantime, perhaps because she knew his mother (one of her four grandmothers) as ‘grandma,’ one day she asked, “Is [dad] my ‘dad?'” even though she was still only three.
It’s sort of like sex education. When they’re three, they only want to know, “You came from mommy’s tummy” even if they have two mommies. In our family, one mommy is known as Mama and the other mommy is known as “Mommy.”
Once Random Granddaughter had figured out she had a dad she didn’t really want to know about the test tube at this point.
For that matter, my ancestors were Jewish, though I consider myself a “Radical Agnostic.” Am I white?
In any case, with our draft picks (home town favorites) we may be superbowl contenders.
Wow. That’s not making white people seem shallow at all (sarcasm). Way can’t white, straight people be friends with people in minorites because their nice? Not people we need that “diversity”. Don’t get me wrong. I think diversity is important. But your take on it makes straight, white people seem shallow.
for the straight white male, gay friends are a great way to score hot girls. any gay scene will always have a coterie of cuties as hangers on. use this to your advantage.
I’m straight and a fan of “The L Word” Am I white?
Is is just me, or do a lot of people have a problem grasping the concept of satire?
Whoever you are, negotiate right now for that book contract. I’ve never seen a blog get so big so fast.
i’m not prejudiced. i hate everybody. just the other day i spit on a flower, yelled at a tree and made a wooba dance atop a hill. concrete everywhere i say! let the steel mills spew and gagging ensue. let all declare that an empty house prevails over a noxious tenant. give me the chance and i will not say no again to the birthday party but will go and blow out the candles and eat the whole cake leaving none for others. did someone say satire? what’s the use? i tell you, people just can’t learn to avoid those horns. by now, you think they would know not to mention such words. i’ll bet you think einstein was a scientist. HA! he was a purveyor of vanities with his ranting about relativity. any comments on my herewith royal decree can be sent with $471 to the brooklyn bridge bungy snippers society. i now go to scream into the kitchen drain which cleanses the bacteria into the yonder river thereby killing fauna and something green. it is my hope this brilliance of my words lights your heart and manifests a smile.
Why are gay people wound up so tight? I have never met a mellow, relaxed gay person.
People choose to be the way they are and you should respect it!
Excuse me (serenitytexas),
But you can go and be rude to someone else,
cause I know MANY gay persons that are fun, down to earth, etc.
Just because,
u havent met one doesnt mean that u can say that!
This is so good. Spot on 😛
/white guy form sweden
hahahahhhahaaahhah
Just found your blog and Holy crap I feel kind of violated, like you’ve been following me around a noting my ‘whiteness’.
Keep it comin’
I was friends with my “gay friends” (and family members, if they count) before they even admitted they were gay… so, I agree?
“I’m a straight female. I have a gay boyfriend. It is essential for any straight white female to have one. You have the best friend factor, but a man’s point of view as well.”
So true, Heather.
An African refugee/immigrant/Bill Clinton fan told me, when the issue of “gay rights” came on the news, that “you have to kill these people!” Wow! Isn’t diversity wonderful? That’s a job Americans won’t do.
But I don’t want my African friend to kill my gay friend, because then one will be imprisoned and the other interred, and I won’t have any friend at all.
@ #5: you said, “White people do not want black friends. Trust me.”
Speak for yourself. I have friends of all stripes, and my life is richer for it.
Trust you? Like I’d trust a snake.
Stef: You sound just like some brainwashed liberal lemming. That poor girl, Eve Carson, believed in “Diversity” too and look what it got her: A bullet in the dam head.
You white traitors will be the first to be to be raped and shot down by Negroes who could care less about your stupid politics.
White liberals are the biggest racists on the planet.
#414: Do you pronounce that as KNEE-grozz?
I’m going to venture to say that there isn’t any mid-century modern or Baccarat to be found in your lair.
But as long as I have your attention: How do you prevent that tendril of smoke from giving away the location of your still?
Tell your sister/wife we all say, Hey!
White people like telling you how they have been to Europe, especially if it is shown on tv or brought up in conversation.
India! A friend of mine spent two weeks in India, and now everything is “India this – India that”. At least he didn’t return speaking English with an accent!
This blog is funny and all but “Stuff White Hipsters Like” would be a more accurate name.
OK this is becoming tiresome.
But I’ll exit the discussion with this thought: The history of human civilization has been (on a macro level) a constant trend toward enlightenment and liberalization (yes, liberalization, enlightenment, and education are intertwined). Like it or not–just like black emancipation, women’s suffrage and liberation, and desegregation–the eventual social and legal acceptance of gays and lesbians (which I’ve always found to be a redundant phraseology) is inevitable.
The bigots and other “good white people” on this board like to tout that there’s nothing the rest of us can do about their homophobia and bigotry. Well that’s true. )And, personally, I could care less who people choose to like or hate; it’s their life.) However, those same people should be fully aware that gays and lesbians continue to gain acceptance and legal recognition every day and the trend will only progress. And guess what–there’s absolutely NOTHING they can do about it! Better get used to it.
Celebration of Gay Leisure…………………..
Whams! first video: Wham Bam, I am a Man!
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=you+tube+Wham+rap&btnG=Google+Search
Gay Poetry of Noble Bandit:
Seattle Romeo
Past participant of gay porn
Deviation from the norm
Trump up the power of suggestion
Naked truth elaborate deception
I will remember it’s not real
Cult of beauty implied ideal
Out of nowhere across his chest
Just another day undressed
_______________________________
Cyborg
Net compulsion cyber user
Rude shocks hands-free abuser
Modern day siren winged eros
Impersonal sex in public pathos
Live sex spy cams his torso
Japanese BL at the bagno
Access to pleasure totally hawt
Heavenly constriction out in orbit
_______________________________
Shirt Off
Naturally neat white sheets jus bcuz
It’s in your 501’s wardrobe applause
Watching me yo who’s the hero
Making a splash with the trash
Drop everything Cutie
Vive la difference Beauty
Male nude paintings sculptures fainting
Love me all over Carlos
_____________________________
Macho Hotel
Part-time carpenter full-time felon
Premiere tourist destination
Endless summer beach umbrellas
Prowling controversial fella
A key in the lock at the hotel
He called the shots in the stairwell
All the elements of prison marriage
To an insane degree ambushed savage
No shame to my game he said simply
Inexpressive inaudible clemency plea
________________________________
Oh So Obvious
This used to be my boyfriend Thomas
He changed his mind a broken promise
Unrequited on-line lust
E-form image collecting dust
Deeply clueless in my opinion
Repeated exposure fatal vision
Slingshot the spears piercing thrust
Unrequited on-line crush
Engaged looking in near vision
Thinking new thoughts a new opinion
Push yourself seeking a new game
No such zone forget the old flame
No longer beset by mainstream fellas
Asking, Hello! what I had for breakfast
______________________________________
Men in the Sun
Smooth bodies shine thru well-defined
So they seem leave the wave behind
Cali boys admiring eyes on shore
Having not a care and brave adore
Adrenaline rush I listen now commands
Purple sea swept into the sands
A gentle bird I look away airborne
An open secret of the deep unworn
________________________________________
Feel No Rain
I do not fear the Prince of Dust
A sombre portrait on the bluff
A flash from the eyes of a thunderbird
Nothing remains the sight of him blurred
Hiding in the dunes from my heart
Blank white sky let go depart
It’s not my dream therefore
Lifeless objects are no more
“I have rarely met gay person that isn’t a raving hateful anti-Christian bigot.”
Woo-hoo! Can you smell the stench of hypocrisy?
No one’s anti-Christian–we just find your Christian “behavior” disgusting, abhorrent, and sinful.
(Does that sound better? You think it does when you use it on gay people.)
It’s seems quite a few of the “wrong kind of whites” have discovered this blog.
I enjoyed the humor this time. A friend sent me here a while back, but the humor was not so obvious as it was in this post.
So what are you smoking? Share the pie.
P.S. You may find this post about Obama interesting:
http://stanfaryna.wordpress.com/2008/03/12/heres-obama-theres-obama/
CINDY IN CO….its just you…this is not satire, its SA-TIRED… taking legitimate issue with the quality/validity of the humor in this blog (as i do) and enjoying good satire (as i do) are not mutually exclusive characteristics…
I cannot believe there are still people out there who care enough to write about this subject. I mean, who still thinks like this? Who still talks like this? How passé.
you can flip it, too. gay people love having “cool straight” friends, not cool like hipster cool but cool as in frat boy cool, which may or may not be actually be cool. my theory is that if a gay person is friends with a person who’s stereotype is not, to put it nicely, exactly gay-friendly, then that means that particular gay person is more awesome than other gay people because he can be more readily accepted into mainstream. WOW, I don’t think I’ve ever used more generalities when making a point, but it seems to be a theme with this site, so, oh well.
If anyone cares to knock at the residence of Mr. Larry Walsh at 404 This-Blog Street, there he/she will find a perfect specimen of Homo Nihilisticus.
White people like websites like this
I love how some people don’t get that this is an ethnographic slice of one aspect of white culture.
Enjoy!
Is that bad lighting, or did they frost that little boy’s hair?
Where is his mama when he needs her most?
straight white people don’t like having gay friends. i ain’t trying to hang out with any of them faggots
Omg, as an average white male, I love this blog.
Sad part is, this blog is going to be on it’s own list soon…
Omg. I just bumbled upon this site!!!!!!!!!!
Too funny.
(White Female, Virginia)
I find this to be very true, especially when a gay person has hot female friends, I especially want to be his friend.
when are you going to write about the next best thing white people love…RESCUING ANIMALS? love this blog!
my favorite post yet, been there done that
Come Let Us Reason–While it clearly strikes a nerve, surfs a comic trend and is very well written, I am not sure this could ever be a book beyond the little one-print impulse buys at the cash register. The flames should not be mistaken for fame. The people who think they get it (like me) may not and the people who don’t get it probably wouldn’t pay for it. I’d be interested to know if any blogs turned print get past the first printing. I am guessing not too often.
Btw, that comment about gays making good friends and poor cell mates wasn’t funny at all to me, but this post was, I can’t exactly tell you why but it’s an example of how this push-the-envelope type of humor can go either way and keeps me skeptical.
And yes I know I am one of the satirized.
#308, Nola08 is a liar. He is not a red blooded American heterosexual male, nor a Republican. He is either a homosexual, a minority or a liberal masquerading as a real American male.
No normal white people need a diversity roster of friends. Only the ones that have the same values and culture that this blog does.
There is nothing intrinsically special or good about diversity. Thats something the guilt-laden clueless white people need to understand.
So many things to say to this:
if only this were really true for all white people. If it were, hate crimes against gay people would disappear overnight. They’d be able to properly get married, have every right straight people have, etc.
and yeah, as many have mentioned, this must be a particular sub-genre of white people.
Living where I do–Texas–and being straight and white, I can do things like the stuff in this blog without being seen as trying too hard to be trendy and progressive. That IS truly progressive here.
My church recently had a float in the Gay Pride parade in Dallas. (UU church) I helped build it, was on it, had a great time, took my teenage daughter. I was doing that to stand up for equal rights, not to appear to be cool.
And in order to be my friend, you have to be hilarious and like a lot of the things I do. Who you fuck is irrelevant.
#430 gort: It’s not that you’re TRYING to hang out with any of them “faggots”, it’s that you already HAVE gay friends but don’t know it.
I hope that this isn’t too abstract for you.
Hey; maybe your friends are thinking: “That Gort, you know, he’s kinda strange – if you know what I mean.”
You better stock up on “Don’t Look at me, I’m Straight” t-shirts.
You see, Gort; if you’re REALLY straight, you don’t give a shit about other people being straight, gay, or asexual – less laundry too.
What’s even better than having a minority gay friend is having a deaf minority gay friend. The only thing better than a gay couple is an inter-racial gay couple. Once walking down a street in DC I saw an interracial gay couple, and they were deaf. I almost fainted.
Brilliant!
So, #436, does your Holy House of Hate pay you by the word to troll thru blogs such as this one to spout on the “truth” according to its precepts of intolerance, divisiveness and hate?
Why aren’t you writhing on the floor, speaking in tongues and sharing other rapture stories with your like-minded brethren?
I’m white and have no interest in going out my way to have a friend who is gay. If someone is gay and they become my friend, fine, whatever. But I don’t mandate that I need to have a gay friend to happy.
It should also be mentioned that white married women love to tell their lesbian friends “If I hadn’t married so-and-so, I think I would have been a lesbian.” However, this conversation can’t happen until you have hung out at least 4 times, and at least one wine cooler has been ingested by said white married woman.
Still not funny.
These actually work when they’re applicable to a high number of people. This one really isn’t. At all.
Hm. Batwoman and I are friends. Does that count?
clander,
first of all, love your site; think it’s hilarious!
just wondered if you considered these topics at all, or if there’s any truth in them(i’m obviously not an expert in white culture, so maybe you know more):
1) mayonaise
2) not spanking their offspring
I don’t even know if I have gay friends. I don’t have sex with them, so it doesn’t seem to matter. Human is human.
I’m only sad that gays are doomed because they fight the biological mandate of reproduction of your own species.
———
Did you know you already belong to the Fellowship of Former Fetuses? They need the right to vote too.
Dear Flora:
Whitest.
Comment.
EVER.
Reading over this blog, I’ve started to question my race. I clearly can’t be white because none of these posts really apply to me. I guess I’m just a disgrace to my race because I don’t see myself as being oh-so tolerant or cool for having a bi brother and gay friends. (Same to be said for my non-wonderbread friends. Damn, I really should send them all cards for making me so fucking awesome)
I’m White, and I have a gay black friend. What is even better is that he is part of an interracial couple; if I could get them to adopt a kid, they/he would be like the Holy Grail of gay friends!
Just a tiny peep out of me this Saturday evening.
I am time- short with consulting deadlines.
Some of the people posting to your gay friend article apparently see this as a sort of outlier, marginal issue. Not a throbby, blog-tissue item like bottled water or Patagonia hiking shorts.
I’m sort of stopped up on that. Let’s imagine that one had a good job in an actual city, say, New York, managing the arts or commercial arts including entertainment, advertising, graphics, and on and on. OK, I did.
To be any kind of reasonable boss, leader, or mentor, I felt it was important to know which of my young, bright staff were straight so I could give them as much dignity and honor as the rest of us got in that field. This story doesn’t have much of a white flip…it was NYC advertising and we were all white.
Respectfully yours,
Digby
There. Happy now? lol
Large Box of Cut Flowers to author of post # 312. I just read it for the first time. Cutting edge insight (as I recall from the Atlanta Public School scene) why we are public school advocate and gave 3 families worth of dues. And then why we weren’t using the schools.
40% bussed into Sarah Smith Elementary on Peachtree-Dunwoody Road and lots of quiet times every week or so to explain to my kids why somebody tiny gorgeous child was crying and sad because that little playmate’s daddy was shot that day while having breakfast.
My wife and I decided that maybe knowing that much about the drug selling culture of Large Southern Metropolitan Areas was more than out pre0school daughter and kindergarten son could aborb.
So, make a couple calls, pull out the check book and just fix it. But that doesn’t mean that you have to stop being a Public School Advocate.
Christ I was happy to finally get back up North where I belong.
night.
hahahahahaha,
I was just thinking the other day that this one needed to be done, and here it is!
There is even money to be made in this:
The Big Gay Sketch Show: Pocket Gay Friend
It’s funny, ghetto people hate gays. The more ghetto, the greater tthe hatred.
for fun, check out
http://whatghettopeoplelike.blogspot.com/
I’m sure I’m not the only one to say this, but none of these things here that whites like are inherently bad.
I’m now suspecting that some bright bulb is going to write the obligatory ‘I love how some people don’t appreciate satire’ response. Well, this blog does a crap job with both the humor and observational aspects that should comprise satire, so what’s the point?
White people love making fun of ‘white people’; it’s how they assuage their guilt.
i agree with #5. he’s right.
white people do NOT want black anything
(satire aside). moreover, it’s fair to make
the distinction between friend and just-an-acquaintence-but-friend-when-they-aren’t-around.
i’m black and gay and male (childless, although), and live in whightlind, and this
post was more on point than 2 being the sum of 1 and 1.
betta acks sumbudee. church.
it’s less about shirking guilt and more about quid pro quo. more importantly, unless clander has already
stated, we don’t know his/her race.
he/she could be a negro. don’t get it twisted, rich bachelor.
#456
the psyche of the ghetto person (black), is a bastion of
old skool western grime and the output is equivalent to
the input. so don’t talk about hatred and ghetto being
directly proportionate without any critical thought.
oh and i’m sure this has circulated on here:
http://blackpeopleloveus.com/
Not getting it twisted, rayray. I’m talking about the general theme, and didn’t speculate about the ethnicity of the blogger.
Because true equality means not giving a fuck about that sort of thing, right?
#56 you are 100% right.
I guess the “Stuff Rednecks Like” website would pretty much be the exact opposite of this one. Rednecks do not like gay people or sushi. And they could never live without a television. However, “white people” do seem to love redneck music — Johnny Cash these days, Lynyryd Skynyrd in yesteryear. Not so cut and dry is it?
Stuff NIGGERS like.
http://coonhuntinginc.wordpress.com/
except you ended your post with “white people love
making fun of white people” and so
i’m postulating that this blogger may not be white.
in which case the whole continuity of this blog is
disrupted.
and no, sorry, that is not what true equality is
about.
amen ed.
Um, don’t you mean non-hispanic whites? Remember, Mexicans are part white and part American Indian.
The amount of stuff I have learnt about upper class white people on this blog is not funny! 🙂
#441
I see Snobby is still trolling around saying that everyone who disagrees with him “hates”. It’s so old and pathetic.
Either say something legit, use critical reasoning skills, or move off this blog. Troll. Look at you own intolerance for just one day.
SAN FRANCISCO — “Mark Welsh chokes up as he describes his rape last fall and the word his two assailants kept repeating.
“They kept saying `faggot’ over and over again,” says the 51-year-old owner of a video store in the Castro district. “It went on for what seemed like forever.”
Welsh came forward about the attack to publicize sexual assaults against gay men in the Castro — which he says police have downplayed.
But — because both Welsh and another rape victim say their assailants were black — news of their attacks has heightened tensions in a community that for years has been accused of racial exclusion.”
GAYS EXCLUDE BLACKS, and then BLACK RAPES ‘faggot’
OK, find a way to blame Whites males for this one!!!! LOL!!!
Multi-culturalism doesn’t work. In LA, Hispanics and Blacks hate each other. Blame White males again? I don’t think so!
“The Rainbow Coalition Evaporates”
Black anger grows as illegal immigrants transform urban neighborhoods.
Terry Anderson is angry. From his KRLA-AM radio perch in Los Angeles, the black talk-show host thunders, “I have gone on the streets and talked to people at random here in the black community, and they all ask me the same question: ‘Why are our politicians and leaders letting this happen?’ ”
“The face of gang members taking over the streets in Los Angeles is diversifying. Latino gangs are growing and have created what some see as a rivalry with African-American gangs in the city.”
Cry me a river!!! How will liberals ever explain it?
#425
i agree with you. i mean, it’s always nice to be accepted by the mainstream. i definitely have a little jealousy toward my gay friends who “pass” more easily than i do, but at some point i know it’s just who i am, and i’m not going to let other people’s opinion dictate my identity. i usually find that people accept me when i think this way (although i live in a liberal enclave). anyway the long point was that i totally love my frat boy type friends, but not because they make me feel superior to more obviously gay people, but, because in the end if they’re accepting they’re even more accepting than your average person. they’re chill and easy-going and the acceptance is that much more complete because of it. and in the end, i’m a guy too. i like theater a lot, but besides that i’m more comfortable with the types from my own gender.
#415:
witNUSS.
I love getting death threats
http://hotlard.wordpress.com/2008/03/14/ervin-shlopnicks-death-threat/
Nola 08: Your first post #308 is great and agree.
Unfortunately, you seem to miss the argument in what you refer to as #263:
It is not that “Grad school, gays, recycling and sushi are “ruining” white culture,” but that writing satirical blogs about white people that “highlight white people’s like of Grad School, gay people, recycling and sushi” and that “are allowed to proliferate and ruin white people’s quality of life and ridicule their race” that is his problem. Someone who is finishing their undergrad shouldn’t be able to see so quickly and clearly that you have trouble deconstructing an argument. It makes me wonder ” Do you even read what you write before you post it?Especially when you resort to being an prick by the end of your comment.
Also, I’m sorry to hear that you’re still living under the myth of progress: “The history of human civilization has been (on a macro level) a constant trend toward enlightenment and liberalization (yes, liberalization, enlightenment, and education are intertwined). “Maybe you should consider going back to school since its those ignorant “lawyers, doctors and investment bankers” who are meant to have half a brain but wind up “dragging the [culture*] into the abyss….” [Also funny that you, a lawyer, think that white people have their own race. . .]
No, I don’t reread my comments before posting. . .
corrections:
1) no quotation before maybe
2) Last sentence should before parentheses should read:
Maybe you should consider going back to school since it is those ignorant “lawyers, doctors and investment bankers” that wind up “dragging the [culture*] into the abyss….”
good thing I’m not a lawyer . . . that should be who.
done
#447:
you need to think a bit more.
gays fight no biological mandate. this is because
we are population control. if you accept that
approx. 10% of any given population is gay…well
heck it doesn’t even have to be ten. let’s say,
2.5% of any given population, just for the sake of
argument, is gay (methinks it’s crazy high, but i like to
spell things out for folks). then, if you accept that, you’d also have to accept the fact we preserve, not
fight our biology. why? well multiply our world pop.
by 2.5% and add that number to the product.
remember it takes two in a heterosexual act to make
one of homosexual.
it’s late and i just got in from being slapped around.
i wasn’t thinking…i meant add the product to the
world population…sorry.
#430:
are you sure?
you might actually be gay.
you spelled f-a-g-g-o-t
correctly. *blink*
#408:
redundant.
#98:
i worship thee.
Yeah, this doesn’t have anything to do with this exact entry, but I went to Chipotle today– and the wrapper that they give you when you eat inside lists all these bands and musicians on it– I must say, whitest piece of paper I’ve ever seen.
Speaking of which, didja know one of the cases affirming that embassies and consulates are not considered foreign soil was called “Fagot Rodriguez et al. v. Republic of Costa Rica”?
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/membassy.htm
OK, enough about this… let’s move on to WORLD MUSIC.
hey you son of a bitch you can fuck yourself, do you hear me? you motherfucker son of a bitch
go fuck yourself
This profile doesn’t fit the white people that I know, but maybe that is because I live in middle Georgia, which is an area victimized by the “bible belt”. I really wish all states would legalize gay marriage because that would take away the insult, and then most gay people probably wouldn’t want to get married anyway. The worst thing a heterosexual should ever think about gay marriage is “Well, I guess they should get married if they want to, but I don’t understand why they would want to.” Ironically, most gay couples are probably thinking the same thing: “Other Gay couples should be able to get married if they want to, but I don’t know why they would want to, because we sure don’t want to get married.” I mean, heck, when you think about it, these days there are a lot of liberal heterosexuals who don’t want to get married either!
I think I should take this moment to out myself and admit that I’m white but DON’T have any gay friends.
I feel so ashamed.
your blog sucks and is racist. Stop feeding stereotypes.
i cannot read all 500 posts, but can i have a gay black friend?
I guess it’s all about self-importance 🙂
GEEZ… I thought I was black…but in going through this site..I am finding that I am Bi-Racial…Actually.. I’m quite White…
This site is AWESOME
IM WHITE AND WITHOUT A GAY FRIEND, DOES THIS MAKE ME LESS OF A MAN OR LESS THAN WHITE?
Ever get into a casual conversation with someone about ____________________________ (insert any minority-related topic) and that person is going on about this or that then suddenly throws in the expected “don’t get me wrong I have nothing against ____________(insert appropriate minority), in fact my _______________________ (insert family member/close friend/teacher/landlord/best friend’s wife’s mother’s brother/doctor/next door neighbor/or other appropriate minority individual) is ____________________ “(again, insert appropriate minority)
Ok so you have a __________________ who is a ________________. Big f’in deal. WTF does that have to do with the conversation? LOL
BTW I love YOUR post! It has me laughing my butt off! Oh don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against people who are gay–my sister’s gay!
😀
“People choose to be the way they are and you should respect it!”
I don’t care what people do. Just making an observation.
“Excuse me (serenitytexas),
But you can go and be rude to someone else,
cause I know MANY gay persons that are fun, down to earth, etc.
Just because,
u havent met one doesnt mean that u can say that!”
I can say that. I didn’t say gay people aren’t fun and down-to-earth. I know alot of gay people who are fun & down-to-earth. What I SAID was that they are wound up tight. That’s silly for you to think that’s rude. I don’t know why most of them are wound so tight…..but they are.
Also, why do we have to hear about their sex lives……no one cares.
“Older white people prefer to be friends with gay parents because it enables their children to experience much needed diversity with people who are, for all intents and purposes, exactly the same as them.”
that hits the nail on the head! bravo to this observation of society!
Ok people go to http://www.cookies112.wordpress.com please
You are definitely a lame white person if you talk about your friends like “I have friend who happens to be gay”…
and then you get out your gay friend trading cards and start playing with other straights in a quasi D&D match to see you is the all powerful hipster…I have a gay couple with two adopted kids that we get together with once a week for drinks…beat that bitch!
when are you guys going to write the entry about how white people love to make smarmy jokes about how lame they are for being white? i.e. “oh, i can’t dance, i’m so white! ha ha!” oops, i guess that’s your whole blog…
Okay, I wanna know who told the wrong whites (red-staters, Republicans, inbred idiots) about this site.
I love how they object to the use of the word “homophobe” or say that it has no effect on them. That’s fine. Let’s just call them Kerns in honor of inbred idiot Oklahoman Sally Kern.
And I TOTALLY agree with whoever said that there is a wrong kind of gay person as well. These are the guys who place personal ads for “straight acting, non-Asian” guys, and possibly belong to that Log Cabin group–or transphobic gals who go to “womyn born womyn and girl-children only” events. (And of course, Britney fans. It’s Christina, people.)
#470: Deal with it; you can’t shut me up.
HEY SHEQUON CALL ME BABY
what a brilliant blog,like hilary duff’s theet!
#501 Look, stop calling Whites “inbred”.
Jewish people are far more inbred and have remained so throughout history.
They are indentifying this inbreeding and more can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cohen_Modal_Haplotype
57 It’s funny because it’s true.
I have a gay black roommate, he is awesome. I tell people it kills two birds with one stone, proving I’m not racist or homophobic in one fell swoop.
you can still be racist etc. even though you have black/gay friends, in case you weren’t aware.
Amazing post, I hate to find myself agreeing with what you’ve written but I think there is a lot of this which is true!
Let me know the next time you’re in West Hollywood. I’ll take you to Plummer Park and let you photograph this fascinating ritual of straight couples taking their kids to the park to play with the children of gay couples. Sometimes they even get up the nerve to meet outside the park!
do male lesbian friends count?
as a gay black father i now have my answer as to why all of my friends are white. of course there’s sprinkles of progressive latinos in my gang as well. i was just trying to find out if i really am AS WHITE AS THE NEXT GUY … and oh lord, I AM! (don’t tell nobody, ok?)
Ha ha hysterical. But you mean middle class white people of course.
LOL I approve of this! White people are soo lame!
God I hate people that either like or dislike gay people because of their sexual orientation.
Be friends with cool people, ignore people who you dont like, its that simple. If you do or dont have any gay friends who cares? Actively seeking them out is suspect (not as bad as being a homophobe, but more self serving).
As a bisexual I have had a lot of my friends tell me “Iv never had a friend like you before”, Im glad I could help them be tolerant and openminded…….
And gay friends are nice to grind with and roll heavy at clubs with.
You have to add St. Patty’s day to the list.
White people love St. Patrick’s day since it gives them an excuse to get wasted and go clubbing in broad daylight.
Although they say “Everyone is Irish on St Patrick’s day”, what white people really mean is that “Everyone who is white is Irish”. This is why you rarely see minorities celebrating.
Portnoy’s: I wasn’t referring to whites as inbred idiots. I was referring to Kerns*–which could be of any race. Inbreeding is a direct cause of the fear of one’s society accepting homosexuality.
It also causes men to suffer from the delusion that gay men would actually be attracted to them.
(*homophobic bigots)
P.S. The latter part of your comment implies that Jewish people are somehow not white. What’s up with that? I don’t recall ever meeting in person a Jewish person who wasn’t white.
P.P.S. Jeb, gimme your a/s/l/ and a photo link, and I’ll think about it. ;-P
Me? Not so much….personally, I don’t think defining oneself based upon sexual preference is a brilliant idea and tend to find those who do, a bit preoccupied with it…
Straight people at nightclubs is SPAM.
Minorities need their ‘me space’, it’s very nice that you aren’t OFFENDED to be hit on by me, that’s only, I don’t know, the base MINIMUM of decency, but why go to a gay/les nightclub if you are not tuned that way? To feel good about rejecting gays and lesbians in a non-violent way?
Douche.
Homosexuals, out homosexuals, are a major minority, it’s hard to find other homosexuals into the same, this especially goes for lezzies, you, straight person, being there at a venue for HOOK-UP, is really annoying, straight people spam reduce a homosexual person’s chance of finding someone who wants the same, having wasted their time on picking someone up who has no interest…and then having to slow down the rest of the evening to ensure that they won’t hit on another straight person by mistake.
So go to the theatres and the marches, I love glbt straight alliances and I love male allies of feminism, but damn people, if it’s a hook up site for GLBT people, it’s a hook-up site for GLBT people. Don’t go to a REALLY Chinese event (cultural event held inside Saturday languages class schools) unless you are actually interested in learning the language, not just to bathe in the scenery. Don’t got o a REALLY gay event, the hook-up, unless you are actually there to hook up with a gay person. Go ahead, experiment. If it’s not what you are looking for, wut you there for?
…and you know what, I will start questioning the sexuality of a straight person at a gay nightclub, ’bout time the shoe is on the other foot.
“Are you sure you aren’t inching out of the closet honey?”
Where is the blog titled “stuff black people like” or “stuff asian people like”, anyone know? This blog is stupid. I can’t believe it has so many hits and comments, I guess curiosity got to everyone else too. Is this Barack Obama’s preacher making this blog?
gay people make the world go round oh yeah and bman click my name its the truth
In that case I suppose that a gay–(insert-any-ethnic minority)–one-legged–midget–burn victim is kinda like the first-round #1 overall draft-pick in in the friend-game? Hmm…where can I get me one of those???
PS: please excuse me if I got the “top draft” description wrong, ’cause though I like me some sports, I don’t know shit about drafts….
Dear blog author,
I am 100% Chinese American but like 27 out of 88 items on your blog “stuff white people like.” Does that make me 31% white?
S Fang
Gay friends is more of a white chick thing than a white thing in general.
Matt…yr photography suggestion is spot on
Oh look, Bob and Portnoy are commenting! They were active in other parts of the comments to this blog, but got bested, now they are weighing in here! What fun!
How do white supremacists, who now show themselves to be homophobic as well, reconcile white gay people? Are they better than black gay people? Or are all gay people a problem? What if there are more gay white gay people per capita than other races in America? Does that suggest an inherent problem with the white race? By their logic I think it does. Cause if it’s because of culture well Bob has a big problem, as he doesn’t think culture matters very much.
#525: “How do white supremacists, who now show themselves to be homophobic as well, reconcile white gay people? Are they better than black gay people?”
Now that’s a silly question! Where would white supremacist women go to get their hair done, to other white supremacist women!? I THINK not!
The higher the hair, the closer to gawd!
Speaking of….everybody, Portnoy included, should visit:
http://www.bettybowers.com/
White People like to be gay. Minorities are never gay. Look at Hillary – she’s gay. Look at Barack – totally not gay. The end.
Snobby and Furious1: You guys are inbreds and inveterate anti-White bigots…..why are you on a White blog anyway?
LOL!!!
You guys don’t know shit from shine-ol-a. The White “supremacists” as you pejoratively call any White person you hate or is proud of being White, would theoretically support European-American gays having babies with their lesbo sisters, because the kids would still be uniquely White and maintain the diversity of their ancestors, and likely heterosexual too, so they would probably would discard their parents homosexual unnatural lifestyle. I don’t think all Whites are anti-gay.
#515 Jews are not White. They are Semites and their language (Hebrew) is Afro-Asiatic not European. It is the Jews themselves that state they are a minority, therefore they cannot be White.
There are many, many more reasons too, not to mention WW2. I think the only place that call the Jews “white” is the US Census folks, and they list the Arabs and North Africans as “white” too. They need to fix that.
Another thing on this topic apperently that stuff white people like…
Apparently we like to be the cats ass on call while the non-white assures his manly-ness in lapdances. All I can say is sugar… you don’t got enough strength, and he won’t part from enough tip to keep you busy past 4:20pm in a month of Sundays. I don’t care how fine that back yard is, he’s really just there for the pool. At the end of the day, he’ll be back cleaning up someone’s backyard. It sure as hell ain’t gonna be mine.
Hold on there Portnoy. Since the days of Julius Caesar, historians have referred to the people of northern Europe as barbarians, and everybody knows that barbarians can’t possibly be white! Libraries are full of Roman literature with their encounters with Franks, Gauls, Picts, Saxon, Teutons, Suevi, Vandals (you know their MO), etc.
So, applying the “one drop” rule, if you have so much as one drop of that blood, you are a barbarian and not white!
That means that even if white (henceforth known as barbarians) gays and “lesbos” have children, their heterosexual offspring will continue to be barbarians!
So don’t you then have a common link with all blacks, straight & queer, due to your own historically verified non-whiteness by virtue of your barbarian heritage?
You children would only classify as white by marrying a southern European – a descendant of the true white/civilized European and having offspring, but even that would put you in an “other” category; the dreaded racial purgatory!
That said; you would qualify for affirmative action, perhaps not for economic reasons, but because you descend from barbarian lineage – a nonwhite stock.
Now I can understand why you have that kinship with Jesus, the other NONwhite guy.
Boy, you barbarians sure stick together!
But wait; that’s not all! I saw Ben-Hur and the Ten Commandments. Are you insinuating that Charlton Heston is a………barbarian!?
OK – I’ll let you have Heston, but you can’t have Ann Baxter – no way! “MOses – MOses, MOses…….!”
Here’s what one of YOUR people had to say about your logic.
“There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.” Mark Twain
the phrase is actually “for all intensive purposes,” not “for all intents and purposes.”
kudos on the 13 trillion hits.
i’m a lesbian, and i don’t think this one applies to most of the straight men i know, who often want to befriend me because they think we have something in common because they enjoy watching “fake” lesbian porn in their spare time – and are convinced that they can “convert” me with their wit, charm, and sexual performance.
#530
“barbarian” meant non-Romanized and nothing more.
Romans used to like boofing other men and cheat around. Their leader Augustus Caesar rightfully saw that this was BAD for society and carrying on of civilization etc. that he pushed for marriage laws to help the family and children.
The Julian marriage laws (nos. 120-123, etc.)
In 18 B.C., the Emperor Augustus turned his attention to social problems at Rome. Extravagance and adultery were widespread. Among the upper classes, marriage was increasingly infrequent and, many couples who did marry failed to produce offspring. Augustus, who hoped thereby to elevate both the morals and the numbers of the upper classes in Rome, and to increase the population of native Italians in Italy, enacted laws to encourage marriage and having children (lex Julia de maritandis ordinibus), including provisions establishing adultery as a crime.
120. Men must marry. Rome, 131 B.C. (fr. 6 Malcovati. L)
Speech of the censor Quintus Caecilius Metellus Macedonicus [16] about the law requiring men to marry in order to produce children. According to Livy (Per. 59), in 17 B.C. Augustus read out this speech, which seemed “written for the hour”, in the Senate in support of his own legislation encouraging marriage and childbearing (see no. 121).
“If we could survive without a wife, citizens of Rome, all of us would do without that nuisance; but since nature has so decreed that we cannot manage comfortably with them, nor live in any way without them, [17] we must plan for our lasting preservation rather than for our temporary pleasure.
121. Prizes for marriage and having children. Rome, 1st cent. A.D. (Dio Cassius, History of Rome 54.16.1-1. Early 3rd cent. A.D. G)
[Augustus] assessed heavier taxes on unmarried men and women without husbands, and by contrast offered awards for marriage and childbearing. And since there were more males than females among the nobility, he permitted anyone who wished (except for senators) to marry freedwomen, and decreed that children of such marriages be legitimate.
531 dude, I think you have it backwards.
#534: Thanks for the copy & paste, but first century Roman marriage laws doesn’t make you white.
The irrefutable science of the “one drop” law still makes you a barbarian – a NONwhite.
So, on the next census, Portnoy; make sure that you mark the correct box. Otherwise you may end up singing Guántanamera from the inside.
A new guy just started where work; He is gay. He is black. He has a kid. AND he’s Jewish. It’s only a matter of time before we’re tight enough to hit the bars and I can show him off to my friends. I hit the jackpot with this one.
“gay friend trading cards”
Now that’s the best line I’ve read all day! LOL!!
And hey BBC–ok, I’ll take your gay-jewish-black-with-child coworker and bump you one with a multiracial-muslim-quadraplegic -alcoholic- transsexual-suffering from depression (gee, surprise!).
Who’s next?
😀
Good post; this might be true; a long time and very good friend recently came out to as lesbian (we live in a mostly white area); now everyone at our favorite watering hole wants to be her friend, especially the men and a few bi curious women I suppose. Anyway, even her myspace and facebook pages have livened up from friend requests. She’s more popular now then ever.
You’re back!
Excellent work from a helluva anthropoligist.
they look like brothers more than lovers.
As a gay, white person, I can certainly attest to this. I am not someone who would be terribly popular in any circle, but I can’t tell you how many times the revelation of my being gay has been that thing that immediately makes the str8’s curious about me.
They get to ask me all of those stupid and ignorant questions that they think they’re the only ones who have asked before like… “When did you know you were gay?” and “How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never been with someone of the opposite sex?”
My brother is gay and I get a lot of mileage out of “well, my brother is gay and….” It gives me instant authenticity with liberal folks and members of other people’s “diversity carnival.”
Someone should have warned me I was dealing with a whackjob. Then again, I could have figured it out if I’d read a few other posts.
“While white people love being a part of any movement, the gay movement is especially important to them because they can blend in at rallies and protests and spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression.”
This was so simultaneously hilarious and sad.
@266; why is it when white people are offended at something black people are sometimes thrown into the mix? Hello, this blog is by a white person and mostly white people are dropping comments. There is a blog about what black people like and it’s started by a white person and it is racist because he/she bashes black people, e.i. -crime, drugs, leaving their children. But if a black person did a blog on what black people like it wouldn’t be under investigation by the NAACP because it would be witty and touchy feely like this blog: T shirts, gay friends, hating corporations, graduate school. Why do whites on this site throw racist coments about black people instead of making a comment about the particular subject?
Hey Rachel at @314; you writing a blog about “what Black people like” and a white guy blogging “stuff white people like” would not be the same, you dummy. What do you know about Black people. Nothing. What would you write? Black people like crack cocaine? Just like if a Black/Asian/Hispanic started a blog about what white people like it would be harsher then this site, believe me. This is a funny blog with some funny comments but it’s just annoying when people will bash Black people or the people who really don’t understand this blog–like Jay and Rachel.
@ 537 BBC; now that’s funny as hell. Yeah, you really hit the Jackpot alright. Now, put him in a wheelchair and roll him around and you’ll really have gold.
Look here…
This site is mediocre at best. It is mildly entertaining. Half of the items on this list are garbage. The effort and thought put into this list is pretty embarrassing.
if you want some actual funny entertainment/blog/writing/insightful/great stuff
http://www.garbarrassing.com
go for it.
That site is lame. Who gives a crap about Elizabeth Hurley and Hugh Grant (both so white they glow in the dark)? Boring and def. unrelatable. Celebrities are dumb, the news is full of silly stories, very groundbreaking.
God yes. And the look at me talking to a gay person and even being friends with him or her! It’s so patronizing.
“When a straight person goes to a gay night club, they are reminded of how progressive and tolerant they are.”
Who is reminded: the straight or the gay?
Will and Grace. Nothing more need be said.
Ahh…this is why so many white people in college were so nice to me. I don’t know how many times I heard, “You know, i don’t really know any gay people, but” or “In high school, I was scared of gay people, but you’re really kewl”.
I even had these two guys I knew make it a point once to come over to me and warn me that two straight girls were about to kiss and they totally didn’t mean for it be making fun of gay people or anythin’, cause we like u.
Tragic, eh?
What exactly is the point of these posts? That being being descended from one or several of the numerous ethnic groups originating in western Eurasia fates an individual to bigotry, and that all “white people” are being inauthentic when they congregate with people from different backgrounds? What a great message. It can’t possibly be that some people, regardless of their ethnic or cultural background, simply don’t give a shit about ethnicity or sexual orientation. White people are hardwired to hate, after all. Any lame effort at engaging with others is self-congratulation at best, and cyborg-like evil manipulation at worst.
Gosh. Im white, Im gay, Im married (to my girlfriend) but I don’t have any black or straight friends.
What does that make me?
Just found this site, and am still chuckling. I’m a gay white male, but the majority of my friends are lesbians. Guess I gotta get out more.
First of all, I love this site. I never realized how white I actually am, except for the fact that I am a gay minority. Has anyone stopped to think, maybe it works the other way around as well? The overwhelming majority of my friends are heterosexual white folk, male and female alike. But I’d like to think that I actually had a role in this friendship process and made an active decision to have straight whhhites as friends. As bad as it sounds, it is a mutual relationship of granting the other socio-political and cultural legitimacy. “I am progressive, and I have social capital.” That’s what both parties are buying into with these friendships.
Love the BLOG nice. Gay friends are honest and to the point. Love E and his comments on Stuff Homophobic White Dudes Like. I think the next blog should read how to kick “Anonymous Bitch Ass Off The Blog”. Did anyone notice if you scan through just a fraction on some of the blogs that Anonymous is up there more than 2x a day. Don’t worry, we’ll use some our gay connects to find you a job.
Also Portnoy’s Complaint, if you ignore them they will go away ! This is not a formal debate on who is right or wrong. Its just a blog! Stop doing research for a damn blog to prove someone right . Send someone a hyperlink to your own BLOG!
So Heather, you’re a straight female and you have a gay boyfriend? You may have some gay guy you hang around with, but he’s not your boyfriend. Wise up.
People like you make it possible for this blog to be written.
My friend claims to only be half gay. He’s straight on weekdays and gay on the weekend.
@ 562 EE–what does that mean? During the weekdays he watches Two and a Half Men and Everybody Loves Raymond but on the week ends he watches The L Word and reruns of Wil and Grace? He sings Metalica and Pearl Jam on the weekdays and Show Tunes and old Elton John songs on the week ends? He eats fish during the week but it’s hot dogs and sausages during the week ends?
@ 556 Tiffany: sounds like it makes you sheltered. Where the hell do you live–Los Lesbos–the land of white lesbians??
As a Left handed, bald, gay white person, I’m shocked and appalled at how much I laughed.
Shocked and appalled.
White people do like self-depricating humor.
and yeah, I got rid of all my white straight friends who only found my gayness to be interesting. Life got a lot better after that.
LOL, this is so funny and true! I’m a young, gay, and black male in a commited relationship with another young, gay and black male…we can’t beat the white people off with a stick. LOL.
#560 tell it to Snobby
What do you care what I say or post? Are you intolerant?
#37, you are not completely correct. A lot of straight guys secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) like being hit on by gay guys. It gives them an ego boost. And sometimes it even satisfies a small part of their bi-curiosity.
#177 won’t help the guy move but will buy him a drink? Why is it that straight guys like buying gay guys drinks?? Hmmm makes you wonder…
Oh wow, #313 Nola08 is really not that bright. He didn’t even get it that #298 was being sarcastic!
There was a guy on BBC Radio discussing how he thought of himself as accepting, open, etc and was shocked to discover whilst planning his wedding that neither he nor his fiancée had invited any gay or black people to their ceremony:
~”…and I just couldn’t figure it out. After all, I’ve always been, well I’m just not prejudice. I’m not a prejudice guy!”~
This made national radio and provoked an hour-long phone in.
For me, this is right up there with the Catherine Tate sketches about the 4×4 woman having a baby over a kid eating nonorganic houmous and leaving him in the park.
This plus the “modern furniture” posting remind me of my very nice but fairly conservative, catholic, midwestern parents who started a vintage modern furniture shop a few years ago and now spend a lot of time hanging out with gay couples who happen to be their main clients. Turns out that they are pretty open-minded after all. And apparently extremely white!
Studio50s Vintage Modern Furniture
being white and a male and also gay i will say this
i don’t like white people that much
especially the ones that use me as a minority prop to make themselves feel progressive
i have, i think ,one white friend who’s straight but she’s a jew and married to a filipino i don’t think she counts
by the way no gays want straight people in their bars and clubs no matter if they are white black or yellow
you have run of the world
stay out of ours
please!
by the way the gays who do your hair ,makeup and sell you your clothes don’t count as friends unless you know their birthday and last name!
#537 by the way no gays want straight people in their bars and clubs no matter if they are white black or yellow
you have run of the world
stay out of ours
please!
I LOVE IT!!!!
Well, maybe you fags could stay out of our TV sitcoms that kids watch, stay out of our school boards, keep your Christian-hatred out of our politics? Leave the US military alone? Realize that “marriage” is for child-bearing families, not a front for “activists” and haters?
PS you guys made a BAD move taking in “T” into your LBGT axis.
You are right on in this post, but I submit that a white person having lots of black friends possibly outranks the gay friends in terms of their tolerant and diverse status.
Time to shut this site down!
#5 Beef…you’re right. Ya’ll need us.
Is this not the very definition of hate speech? Or, is not not hate speech when you are talking about “white people?”
I just found this site all of 10 mins ago. I have only read this post and I can not believe what I have read. Hypocrites, the lot of ya.
I am a 26 year old, straight white male, trying to finish a college degree. How many stereotypes do I fall under?
To me, it doesn’t matter to me what category you fall into. If you are nice to me, we may just become friends. Don’t believe me? Thats fine too.
I refuse to hate people that hate me. Live by example. Love those that would have you as their enemy. Help those that ask for it. Tolerance breeds tolerance. Conflict breeds conflict. There is a reason that its easer to hate than it is to love.
Im white and i love haveing gay friends! I always thought it was cuase i was gay tho…. but i guess its really due to being caucasion and i just was not aware lol!
I love how streight white people try to pretnd to be so offendd by homophobia, even more so then i am, when i am the one whos identity is being attacked lol. Im sure when the gays are not around they dont mind calling each other fags tho…
525 Furious1:
“What if there are more gay white gay people per capita than other races in America?”
Statistics are hard to come by, but given the increased HIV prevalence, it is likely that blacks have a much higher rate of homosexuality than whites.
http://www.washblade.com/2004/8-27/arts/feature/linkdl.cfm
Given that black homosexuals are very reluctant to report so, it is very difficult to get true statistics from self-reporting. But if HIV prevalence is any indication, and it typically is as male to male sexual intercourse has a MUCH, MUCH higher rate of HIV transmission than heterosexual sex, it is likely blacks are much more likely to be homosexual on a per capita basis.
Also from my anecdotal observations in the city most transvestites I see on the street are black. Sorry you fail again Furious1, keep trying.
find out while all your gay friends are cooler than you…
http://stuffqueerpeoplelike.wordpress.com
Oh really Bob,
Since anecdotes count as good evidence for you, I would suggest you watch any American TV reality show featuring gay men. Uniformly white. Tim Gunn? Project Runway? Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?
You use one article you found on the internet to prove that African Americans have lower incidence of reporting homosexuality than whites? That’s just faulty logic and you know it. Come now.
Since the 1980s, the biggest jump in AIDs cases has been through heterosexual sex. I will have the same answers for you here that drove you from commenting on other posts.
You are outsmarted, outmanned, and outgunned.
ATTENTION BLOGGERS! Please keep your responses witty and short. I have so many white people idiosyncratic behaviors to attend to that I haven’t time to read the mean spirited or longwinded items. If you think this is an imperious request, you are correct.
Hey Bob and furious: who cares why Blacks have higher STD and HIV rates? The fact is they do.
I am a queer black woman with a child. If anyone is looking for one to buy drinks for, let me know.
I’ll meet you.
Not this white guy. Keep the fruit in the closet.
Personally I have always felt ththat white women have the best of both worlds. They have wealthy husbands who support them and gay men to play bridge with them and escort them to fund raising events when theuir husbands are out with their mistresses.
Ok…. love the blog, totally true. (Says the white girl/ st. louis native/ san fran resident/ law student). Soooo, yes. Fairly on point. First time visitor here and totally dig it.
However, some of your responses may worsen my nightmares about an America whose future is struggling– under the weight of horrible intolorance, astonishing ignorance and evangelical-fundamentalist cult-ism. 😦 I try to see where people are coming from but some of them are just….. grrrrrr! I don’t like white people who give other white people a bad name.
It’s like my parents, who always say “I have tons of gay friends” when someone tries to infer that they might be the slightest bit homophobic. Having the token gay buddy is a great way to mask an otherwise obvious aversion to homosexuality.
This site is pretty awesome! But I have to disagree with the gay friends thing. I think perhaps “liberal white people like gay friends” is more accurate.
What about the Lesbians? Why is there no push to be friends with Lesbian Couples?
As a gay man, I realized I was a bauble for a couple (straight) that were newly acquainted with me when I attended their posh XMAS bash and was introduced to all their other friends. My sexual orientation was incorporated into every intro and/or conversation by them.
One woman actually said to the hostess right in front of me, “Oh. Is this the one?” followed by an uncomfortable realization that I was still standing there and she was an idiot.
The evening progressed from tedious to sickening as it became increasingly clear that I was only there to promote a view that my hosts were worldly and inclusive. I did manage to become friendly with the only black woman in attendance – we had a shared experience.
Has anyone done a count to see how many comments include the phrase “my (gay/ lesbian) friend(s)”?
Like a “Stuart Smalley” affirmation ….
Anyway, I met all my current gay friends in high school (sorry, PREP school), in my pre-dinnerparty* days. And in that hormonal time of delirium, I didn’t realize they were gay until I was a senior — to quote a female friend at the time commenting upon my realization:”duhhhhhhh”.
Oh wait, I lied– I met my wife’s (and now my, and the kids’) hairstylist after my marriage.
And also one of my Prep school friend’s lifepartner I met after college.
Strangely, as far as I can tell I, I don’t have any lesbian friends. Must
So five “gay friends” (or seven if “bi” and “religiously abstinent-for-life-but-gay” friends count) … do I get a cookie (sorry… biscotti)?
*I did have one dinnerparty, if those “How to Host a Mystery” box things count)
correcting from Enter-key-eagerness–
*Strangely, as far as I can tell I, I don’t have any lesbian friends. Must not be trying hard enough. Maybe should send my wife trolling the dyke bars.
Ok guys, come on now! I am really getting tired of all the microwaves, dishwashers, wide screen tv’s and mercedes that I keep getting every time I convert a straight guy to the other side. I am running out of room in my home! STOP IT! My straight friends are so jealous of all the cool things I get for every conversion, but enough already! You are wearing me out!
I don’t like gays……I am secure with my manhood so it ain’t like I am homophobic or anything. Actually I have a gay sister but I love her with all my heart and soul. God never put a better person on the face of this screwed up earth. I suppose I am 2 faced about this subject, I was raised with morals and good old fashioned values. The Bible says 2 men ought not to lay together. That is all I need to know on that subject to make up my own mind that it is wrong. As far as my Sister goes, she will have to answer for her confusion one day. All I can do is hope and pray she eventually will see the light.
I just found this site, after reading a story on Drudge Report, this place was hyper-linked in the story. I don’t understand the meaning of this place but I am about as white as one can get and I don’t see a lot that I can relate to. White folks like to hunt, fish, drink beer, watch football and baseball, grow a vegtable garden in the spring/summer, raise their kids like responsible folks should. Work everyday and see to it that my 2 boys get a good education and all the parental support my wife and I can give them, participate in school sports, and so on. I could go on forever but I will make this one of my favorites for a while to see if there is any creedence to the site. We shall see……
Hm, no gay friends…….
Will I lose my “White person” club card?
Uhhh, not so much.
Mike – the Bible “says” it’s an abomination to eat shrimp and pork. And you’re supposed to stone adulterers to death. And you should be killed if your sperm isn’t ejaculated inside a woman. And much much more. If you view these in the same vein as you do 2 men having sex, then you are not a homophobe (twisted, but not a bigot). On the other hand, if you conveniently ignore some passages – and only apply the passages toward homosexuals in your beliefs – then yes, you are a homophobe. Since when do you get to pick and choose which Biblical passages to follow?
Your post is ignorant
In this post, you forget to mention an important protocol when a white person meets a potential gay friend. They invariably mention their one other gay friend and say, “I think you two would be perfect together.”
This fascination with gay people carries over with their kids. Liberal white people are always DYING for their kid to turn out to be gay. When my sister got really into yaoi anime a few years ago, my parents were always asking me, “Is she a LESBIAN???” as though they were really excited by the prospect. I guess that since my older stepsister and I turned out to be straight as pins they were hoping that there would be at least one homosexual in the family – alas for them this was not the case.
If you’re not gay, you should be dating someone who is a minority, or at least not a Christian, to please the white liberal parent. (My stepdad is always trying to set me up with Jewish guys)
My stepsister and I hypothesized that they thought they’d receive some sort of “Liberal Parent of the Year” award if we dated a minority and/or turned out to be lesbian and they were accepting of it. It’s too bad for them it never worked out that way…
To #597 Mike: You’re very white, don’t worry.
I linked to this site from Drudge as well. This is a site for LIBERAL white people. You know, social elitists that have to do things to make themsleves feel good about their lives.
You know, “Hi I’m Anthony (anyone else would call themselves Tony), and I have a gay black friend that’s dating this Asian doctor, and we do dinner parties on their shiatsu mat.”
I live in Chicago, so I do understand this breed.
I happen to be sexually attracted to guys, and TRUST ME, this isn’t the real world outside of metrosexual mania.
Now maybe it’s because I’m a sports oriented/corporate type, and my friends are either straight or keep it to themselves like me, but while I’m sure they know, we don’t discuss it.
And why would we?
I don’t want to be known as; “Rick, you know, the gay dude in corporate.” lol
And what’s better is that gay people that hear this, IN ALL THEIR ELITIST EDUCATION, can only wrap their pea brain around it by thinking in terms of, SELF LOATHING! lol
But trust me, you are not losing it here. These types are the ones that still think.. “Bush lied, people died” LOL!
There are all these urban women who fit this mold and wonder why they can’t find a good man. They need to wake up and realize that having gay friends is a huge turnoff to any normal man — just like cats, stuffed animals on the bed and a bunch of silly girlfriends. They are all signals that your loyalty will always be divided and when push comes to shove you will stick with your gay friends, etc. over your man.
The only guys who show any interest in you will be metrosexual potentially-bi, limp, repressed, snotty little boy-men with body piercings, etc. who will attempt to endear themselves to you by being socially active in liberal causes but at the end of the day will waste your best years because they are too busy dealing with their own emotional hangups.
The problem is that you have been programmed into believing that all other men are throwbacks to some past culture that opressed women. You don’t realize that there is an alternative to the stupid and macho guys you think every man outside of your metrosexual experience is. Christian men have always valued their women and treated them with great respect (and if they don’t then they aren’t Christians following Christian principles), but the media agenda has worked hard to hide this and to brainwash everyone into thinking they are a joke, with its focus on the occasional hipocrite such as a church leader who turns out to be gay. Well, why would you marry someone who doesn’t believe in God? After all, if he doesn’t then he will never feel bound by his oath of marriage in the same way a Christian is.
This will make many of you angry, but I suggest you think about it carefully, especially if your choices are not making you happy.
Uh, my best friend is a lesbian.
To Mike #597: I think this site should be “Stuff urban, non-provincial intellectual white people with an open mind like”. The blogger is likely not talking about Bible-thumping white trash here, which is the category you would likely fit into. In order to appreciate this humor you have to be in an environment where there are more than just [straight] white people around so that you can have something to compare and contrast whites with — and see how they interact. In the hills where you probably live there are probably a few hundred white people, squirrels and opossum. Not a lot of interaction except with animals where you are from.
I am not gay but I have no problem with gay friends.
Mitch Haase
Hey Rob 606. Amen to that.
“Also – why is “Will & Grace” not mentioned on this entry??”
Probably because it became too popular with the ‘wrong kind of white people’, i.e. is now as syndicated as ‘Seinfeld’ and ‘The Simpsons’ and both those shows lost their allure once you could see them seven times a day, six days a week. Besides, the sit-com de century for gay white men is ‘The Golden Girls’ and it really doesn’t appeal to the same white people who love ‘Outdoor Performance Clothes’ and ‘Co-ed Sports’…
I am a white gay male with a white gay male partner and an African-American teenage daughter.
But, so far, it hasn’t helped our social life all that much…
Alicublog is talking about ‘Stuff White People Like’ today.
Oh, and my brother is almost 100% in line with so much of this, haha.
I’m white and I don’t approve of people who define themselves publically by what they do with their genitalia. Most especially homosexuals. I also do not understand why men with same sex attraction have to act effeminate. Is this a prerequisite to being a male homosexual? Does it mean they actually want to be the opposite sex? It is confusing and insulting to masculinity. I am friendly with homosexuals but I do not approve of them nor do I have “White Guilt” over the poor oppressed people who run around telling others that the habits they engage in with their genitalia and the genitalia of others are “Important”. Clueless heterosexual men and emotive white women can go around parading their progressiveness all they want. Go dig a ditch you bunch of relativists
I’m not sure what “white folks” are being referred to here. Where I come from, we disdain homosexuality and don’t care for those who champion it. You must be referring to the self-important, liberal, lilly-livered city dwellars. This “gay friends” idea is hogwash…except for liberal locales.
http://www.anu.org/
http://www.cofcc.org/
http://www.amren.com/
I think Queen Latifah is gay 😦
Do you know the couple in the picture? ‘Cause I do.
I’ll also make sure to beware of white people trying to befriend me for being a gay, hispanic, woman.
Thanks for the warning!
Who wants a gay friend? If I want a weak feminen personallity I’ll hang out with a chick. No thankyou gays, your friendship really isn’t neccessary.
white people like having gay friends???? bullshit. this is sooo weird it’s stupid.
My gay brother who lives in Columbus, Ohio only dates black men, and I love to go to his friends’ parties in D.C. and be the top social queen there.
So cause he’s my only sibling, and that makes us RELATED, I am way more cool and white than anyone else here.
Oh… and I had a dwarf lesbian mother as a friend for awhile. She was white (with some Irish), but oh well.
And what’s funny is that this is all true! Funny, that (my niece… that’s right my niece and I only have a gay brother… lives in Australia. Funny that.)
OK, pay me and I’ll shut up!
Gay trend is like yellow fever. They’re all trends. I’m trying to start a trans-sex trend… I keep picking up boy/girl friends at ABC in NYC (monday nights!), but apparently, being a straight non-spandex wearing female automatically discounts me from being femenine enough to hold any long-lasting friendship with a trans-sex.
I’d also like to note that trends are a great way to break stereotypes. Ironic, right? Without gay trend, how would we know that “gays are all humans, just like us straights.” Excuse me for being so cliche.
I agree with PW (# 37)- “Dudes don’t get to try dick. Once you’ve had one in your mouth, your gay.” I dated a guy once who told me he let his buddy give it to him from behind. I knew then, he was gay although he told me it was a one time thing – he just wanted to see what it would be like. Yea, ok…Nice try
Gay ? Nobody has any gay friends , there are only about 20 or so in the whole country and even these 20 are just trying to be different. Gay friends ? it ‘s a myth.
Not that there would be anything wrong with gay friends , if they were actually gays that is.
Some of you, your remarkable grasp of gender and social roles is so funny, it is to laugh.
And when you return in your time machine from 1960 to 2008, please let us all know how it was.
Cuz, it ain’t like that anymore.
BTW, I have worked at least 15 of my 30 years post-college with and for gay men and lesbians and I have known gay men who, had you screwed up an assignment, would have had you in tears, fleeing to the men’s room and then back to your cubicle to type up a hasty resignation letter, in less than ten minutes…
Not even Barbara Bush trying to get Dubya through his 5,000 vocabulary cards is as scary as an executive-level queen whose travel itinerary was screwed up by an incompetent administrative assistant.
wha’ever. Wha a load of shite. Are you calling my mother a pike? Are you calling me a shallow insecure fuck-who-needs-to-pretend-to-have-gay-friends-in-order-to-get-away-from-some-other-twats-prejudices-of-white-folk?
yeah, fuck, what-ever. Am i bovvered?
Trash commentary like this is hundreds a shilling.
Get over your prejudices. Some white people happen to have friends who are gay.
Some fucking twats out there can’t get over they’re own issues enough to accept that.
face.
Hey Everyone,
Tellybelly knows MEAN homosexuals…this should legitmize everything LOL
yeah, we are the new latinos
oh and guys who are straight and use the expression ‘comfortable with my sexuality’ sound like such fags. Where do they pick up phrases like that? I guess women use it against them, as in “A straight man who is comfortable with his sexuality.. ” blah blah blah, to begin some kind of lecture, then the next thing you know they are repeating ridiculous PC platitudes from the magazines their girlfriends read. They wind up sounding SO GAY!!!!!!!!! Please dont do that, be straight and macho, and we’ll do your laundry for you and clean your apt, run silly little errands for you. Just dont EVER say ‘I’m straight and comfortable with my sexuality,’ ok? Stop it. No actual straight man would think that much less say it. Be a man for godsake so we can look up to you.
Oh my God, this site is riot. Again, spot on.
The funny thing is I’m an ultra-conservative traditional Catholic and even I am not immune from this whole gay mystique.
Because we are conservative Republicans, and traditional Catholics, my wife and I have limited opportunities to make gay friends, at least not the kind of gay who’s “out.”
But I was so proud of myself when my first gay clients walked in the door.
They were a couple who had just got “married” in a Las Vegas chapel. The honeymoon was short. They had a physical altercation in their hotel room just hours after the wedding and someone called the police.
The police came, looked around, saw two guys had been fighting, thought “No big deal” and said, “Ok, knock it off. You’re disturbing the other guests in the hotel.”
The police were on their way out the door when my clients, in a stroke of sheer brilliance, informed them that they were a gay couple, and they had just got “married.” At this point the police said “Oh, in that case it’s domestic violence. You’re under arrest.”
My specialty at that time was immigration law, not criminal law so I didn’t know whether or not two “married” gay men fighting was “domestic violence.” I had to refer them to another attorney.
Later on I looked up Nevada’s definition of “domestic violence” and learned that yes, the arrest was legitimate. But only because they were a gay couple. Had they been two straight guys fighting it would be simple assault and police almost never make an arrest in such cases.
My next gay client was an interior decorator (sterotype I know, but true) and I was so proud to add him to my roster of clients! How tolerant I was to have a gay client in my office and treat him just like anyone else! In fact, I probably treated him extra special just because he was gay.
One time I took my gay client to lunch at a nice French restaurant, where we ate on a patio next to a lake. Me! People on the internet think I’m a Neaderthal because of political opinions, but I was actually in a French restaurant (of all places) eating with a gay man (of all people) and he was my client! If I could, I would have placed a sign on the table: “Look at me! I’m eating lunch with my gay interior decorator client!”
Now the liberal people on the political forum I post to are stepping over themselves to prove how tolerant they are of gays. One woman said she lets gay men babysit her kids. Another guy says he sees nothing wrong with gay Congressmen having sex in public restrooms. Liberals are constantly challenging conservatives to come up with reasons why same-sex marriage shouldn’t be allowed.
I don’t play that game. No one would believe me, even if I did. If I told the liberals on my forum that I took my gay interior decorator client to a French restaurant they would brand me a liar.
The thing about this blog, is that the people all think they are better than anyone else, with their smug list of pollictally correct token friends, and their belittling of the wrong kind of white people. I am from one of those red states that breeds the “wrong kind of white people.” The people with which you speak are among the most creative and entreprenural in the country. The most educated people that I have ever known are self taught. They learn for the sake of learning not for a meaningless piece of paper that they can hang on the wall. Also, as a “red neck” I don’t care about someones proclivities, as I don’t see my friends as tokens. I too have had and will continue to have minority friends, but do not see that as a feather in my cap. I do like the flambouyant ways of most homosexuals. Hetros such as my self don’t have x rated pride parades. We don’t recruit queers. That is why we don’t like them. We are certainly not afraid of any limp wristed, perverted, pillow biter, they just make us sick!! Just like all you east and left coast self righteous, self loathing, think you’re better than any one else pricks do!!
As for our hatred of learning, those commie istitutions that you call schools don’t teach, they indoctrinate.
Ps. What white people don’t like is, people ashamed of their whiteness acting like they speak for us all. The right kind of white people are proud of their history and whiteness. I don’t hate any race, but I’m not ashamed of being white, except that you people share my skin color.
The problem with all this Tolerance – this very pushful kind of Tolerance as it is practiced in the USA – is that it’s condescending. Imagine yourself on the receiving end of someone else’s Tolerance, and you’ll see what I mean. Everything has been so politicized now, I just want out of this country. I want to live with normal people, you know, like Buenos Aires. Italy.
This blog is frikkin’ hillarious.
Thanks! 🙂
I was at work talking to a black guy, very good guy, and I guess if I wasn’t a racist I would consider him a “work friend”.
I asked him: So what do you think would happen between the white and black race, if the government and all cops would disappear from America?
His answer: We would kill each other, it would be chaos, things would fracture along racial lines, and it would be an insane sad racial/civil war.
Food for thought coming from a racist, redneck, hillbilly, white trash, trailer trash, honky, cracker, whitey.
Kudos to lonestar. I was raised in the northeast lived for ten years on the west coast and now live in the midwest. The coasts are full of so many people that are full of shit. I’m proud to be a white American male that believes that men are men and women are women and nature didn’t want them separated or all gays would be able to procreate. The Romans found out the hard way!!!
I do not seek out gay friends, but did have associates that I got along well with. I do have Jewish friends. I get along the best with Jewish friends. I don’t approve of the gay lifestyle, but hey, they probably don’t approve of some of my eccentric ideas as well. Isn’t America great.
I’ll pass on the gay friends things. Most gay people I have met are exceptionally, well, annoying, mostly because their lives lack anything of interest to talk about except, well, their gayness. Sorry, I don’t lose sleep at night over it.
They literally have NOTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT AT ALL EXCEPT BEING GAY. Like in this day and age I should bow down and genuflect. Conversations with the gay men I have met to date have been “gay gay gay, gay gay, gay gay GAY, ghey GYAH” or something like that.” Please get a life. Most of us do not care one damn bit. If the sum total of their life is their gay identity, then I really feel sorry for them. Most of us have better things to get worked up about, we’re not impressed, and I have grad school to finish.
And contrary to popular fiction and culture, lesbians are some of the most miserable human beings I have met. I have yet to meet a happy one, or a nice one, or one without psychologically crippling anger and identity problems
Very funny stuff. As a white person, and someone with a very open mind, this is hilarious. Anyone who doesn’t get it, get over it.
These posts are alternately refreshing and disappointing. Truth is..we all know it..we are all biased. Maybe not racist, but definitely biased. You are ignorant to think differently. It is our nature. From an early age, we are inundated with messages that form how we think, what we believe, who we should love, who we should hate.
The big challenge for each of us is whether we have it in us to rise above it all.
Oh, and by the way, anyone who starts a sentence with, “I’m not homophobic or anything but….” you know that’s a lie.
Thou doth protest too much.
Just want to let you know I think your blog is brilliant. Good work.
Lesbians share their color with others in Buenos Aires and Italy as well. Why do white people like having Gay friends? Where is the push for having lesbian friends? The Devil appears in the nicest forms.
Do not disdain the whites in this country, right or left coast! We live in a media driven climate. Much hotter than global warming, stronger than torture at Abu Ghraib. Stories begin white, black, PC, white people suck, look at us in NYC claiming to be here in drag / leather / chains! Give me a Fucking Break people we are at war! Against an enemy so vile and disgusting that in their world, the word GAY does NOT exist!
I suggest for every Whacko in the news there are 10,000 people just like you. All over this great country! They may not be running your local gov’t or teaching at public schools but they are all around you. Fuck the Elite, Canadian, French, German and Russian Whites on this site! Pricks. AMERICA has saved the modern world from being controlled by the most diabolical tyrannies.
China is murdering children on their streets! The Great Majority of Women have two places in Arabia, the Kitchen and the Bedroom. Who stands up for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?!
This site is awesome! God Bless the USA!!
Therre’s an ad on this page that says “LV (Las Vegas) is a gay hot spot.”
Sorry, must have missed the memo.
#628 I was at work talking to a black guy, very good guy, and I guess if I wasn’t a racist I would consider him a “work friend”.
I asked him: So what do you think would happen between the white and black race, if the government and all cops would disappear from America?
His answer: We would kill each other, it would be chaos, things would fracture along racial lines, and it would be an insane sad racial/civil war.
Look at 21st century South Africa. Look at the dynamics in any prison system. Just look at the self-segregation in the lunch room at any multi-cult high school. The jewtube propaganda that this doesn’t exist is leftist dishonesty. They did make the movie ‘Crash’ however which shows how fucked up things are due to multi-culturalism, leftism, and anti-White racism.
“It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity – like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker. White people will crawl over each other for the opportunity to claim this person as a friend and add them to their roster of diversity”. Genius!
Some of my best friends are gay, and a homosexual actually lives in Hobe Sound near my home. And my own hairdresser shows up every Christmas in Streisand drag
to deliver gifts. He’s a wonderful human being. His partner played football for Ohio State, and they do Manatee protection work for Martin County.
This is funny.
I think it’s worthy to note that there are definitely different types of homosexuals. I, myself, have never dawned Barbara or Liza drag and thrown a dinner party. However, I do own plenty of patagonia expensive shorts and t-shirts.
I will say, without a doubt, that progressive white people love their gay friends. I will say that decent people love their friends regardless of creed, gender, sexuality, race- real friends just kind-of fall into place- they aren’t sought after.
I think it’s really funny that someone said to “keep the fruit in the closet”. There’s no sense in that, fruit looks terrible rotten. : ]
I’m inclined to agree with 631 Mogs, then I remember 90% of the human race is annoying in one way or another. Mogs is right about lesbians though, god if I NEVER meet another one it will be too soon. Living in the Ghey Ghetto as I do, I would probably say only 1 in 200 is someone you’d even consider being in the same room with
Ross (#35): I don’t know where you live, but in most of this country, a trans lover is the ONLY thing people want LESS than a trans employee.
Why don’t you call this “Stuff that white liberals like”, because this is what you are describing…. But hey, it is good stuff, I am eating it up. Post on, Post on…..
56 anonymous
White people in Ohio are not the subject of this blog. Clearly, it’s about White liberals in Eastern and Western coastal cities with a smattering in the MidWest, a la Chicago.
=========================================
That is the POINT.
White people have only been lumping other people together like this for centuries.
Get used to it. Everybody else has.
88 Bug
Any red blooded white American male would want nothing to do with a male gay friend. Fuck that! It’s ok for women to have gay shopping buddies, but the day that I legitmize myself by having a fag friend is the day I run head first into traffic.
============================================
Most gay males ARE White American males. In fact, that may be the largest single group of gays in the world. (Doesn’t everybody have red blood?)
92 mac
Does hating the white people make me more or less white than the white white people that I hate? I’m so confused by this blog!
However, being originally from the South, it’s obvious that you’re only talking about the urbane and mostly Northern-born or educated species of white people. Democrat white people in Mississippi vote for Clinton, not Obama. Need I mention the Mississippi Republicans? None of them are trying to score black gay friends with kids.
Sorry I didn’t laugh!
But I’m sure it’s REALLY funny in New York City or Los Angeles!
Kind of like that red-neck guy on TV! What a SCREAM he is, what with his, “you might be your own grampa” skits! ROFLOL!
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I have no clue why rednecks like to whine about their own reputation.
They have only themselves to blame–and they are very, very funny.
So sure of themselves yet so quick to howl.
153 aimee
@ 141
You’re definitely extremely stupid and clueless for equating being black with being gay.
Shut up and go and cry somewhere else. Stop spoiling the fun.
————————–
In most of the South, being black–like being gay–is a choice.
The funny thing is that in one breath they will whinge about lack of acceptance by Whites up North (who look down on them), and in the next breath turn around and look down on blacks and anybody who doesn’t have the right brand of truck.
Most of the country figured out that they are largely empty vessels a long, long time ago. (Loud and empty.)
One day immigration will hopefully finish doing to them what the North started.
THE most boring posts have to be “I’m white and open-minded….” lalalala…
Please give it a rest. Who cares? People who go around bragging about how open minded they are, usually just have no mind at all, hence the confusion.
ha! open, like REAL open… picture the Sahara desert, nothing there. The color beige. As far as you can see, ha!
“190 Jay
I have no need to affirm my masculinity or to express my distaste for gay people. I simply don’t care enough about them to want to be friends with them. There is nothing intriguing about gay people in my opinion. They do their gay thing and I do my straight thing. It’s that simple. No hate. Just different lifestyles that are not comparable.”
.
.
.
And what, pray tell, is the “Gay lifestyle”? Gays have all sorts of “lifestyles”.
This would not be the first disingenuous post here. It is funny watching people fool themselves.
This is B.S. !!!
MOST White people do NOT have, like, or want GAY friends.
Gay is perverted and disgusting.
I have showed this article to lots of friends of various backgrounds and they all laff at the obsurdity of this comment…
Get it right!!!
Gay is not the the norm for Most people.. of any color!!!
194 Jeff
If I didn’t _already_ know that this website was having fun with a very small slice of white-america I would now. I’m white, exactly 100% straight and I emphatically DO NOT want any homosexual friends.
Parenthetically, something that I’ve always wondered: if you fantasize about having two women at once, and I do, does that make you _200%_ straight? Food for thought.
Btw, the contraction of “you are” is “you’re” not “your.” A great many of you don’t seem to know that and it’s one of my pet-peeves. TGIF, –Jeff in Houston, Texas
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You are contradicting yourself.
If you explicitly “DO NOT want any homosexual friends”, then you would not fantasize about lesbians.
But hypocrisy would certainly not be a new thing in the South.
Thank goodness you spared us your view on Jews, Blacks (oh boy!) and foreigners.
Having read the replies it is obvious that another thing white people like to do is misunderstand a mockublog as serious social commentary and argue over it. Btw, it is even more entertaining to read the homophobic comments in this chain…while that isn’t exclusively a white thing, it certainly is a double demonstration of my comment. So you misunderstand that this isn’t meant to be serious and you display your ignorance by expressing homophobic views, all in reply to a blog…what a white thing to do!
197 scolleymoldune
I think you need to qualify your definition of what white people want and like. For instance, thinking anyone in Branson, Missouri would for one minute consider having a Barcelona chair in their livingroom in favour of a Laz-E-Boy lounger is pure folly. Also, letting a gay man into your home in such areas is completely unacceptable. That is, if you can actually *find* a guy man in *those* areas.
Places where you might find white people who like this stuff:
The Bay Area
Cambridge, Massachusetts (oh, and Somerville, the new “poor man’s Cambridge)
The Portland’s (Oregon and now, too, Maine!)
Seattle
Austin, TX
Brooklyn NY
Key West, Florida
Flagstaff, Arizona
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Portions of Chicago
Burlington, VT.
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Santa Barbara, California
*note: this is only a partial list.
][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][
Pure nonsense.
I found 52 “gay” or “bi” men in Branson between the ages of 18 and 35 on Myspace.
Then in Springfield Missouri, the Cragslist “Men Seeking Men” is well active:
http://springfield.craigslist.org/m4m/
As is Joplin Missouri:
http://joplin.craigslist.org/m4m/
Both are nearby. So you can be sure if there are no gay men in Branson, there sure are plenty of “Men Seeking Men”.
(Maybe they just want to “hang out” and complain about the “blacks”).
233 Katie
This is accurate, unless you happen to be white person who doesn’t care about appearing “progressive and tolerant.” Believe it or not, there are plenty of us who don’t care about rallying for gay rights and blending in at gay pride parades. That doesn’t make me homophobic. It just means that if being gay is normal, why feel the need to acquire specifically gay friends?
Seems you sometimes talk about liberal white people rather than white people in general.
||||||||
White people often obsess about tolerance, because they have the most catching up to do in that area historically.
313 Nola08
Anonymous (#298).
Blacks and homos get all the good jobs? I’m a lawyer. I make a ton of money. I’m white and straight. In fact, the vast majority of people in my firm are white and straight. Don’t be bitter because some black or gay guy who is smarter than you, went to a better college (assuming you even did, which seems hard to believe), got better grades, and is overall more pleasant to be around and more talented, got a better job than you.
Wait…Grad school, gays, recycling and sushi are “ruining” white culture?? Do any of those things even have anything to do with race?? I’m sorry to hear that your ideal white person is an uneducated, uncultured, xenophobic redneck. Do you even read what you write before you post it?
Grad school ruining white culture lolol. Yes, all those white lawyers, doctors and investment bankers are just dragging the race into the abyss….
What is it with dumbass rednecks and their hatred of education? Why is ignorance and stupidity celebrated? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills…
*********************************
I think he/she was being facetious.
Although you DO hear a lot of the hicks talking about how ‘they” are “giving’ the jobs to other people–as if jobs are something that are in a basket that you “hand out” to people–and that they “deserve” to get some just by virtue of being.
Then of course they run around and try to stereotype other as looking for handouts!
314 Rachel
For the people who think it’s hilarious that people take this blog seriously, I wonder what the reaction would be if I started a blog called “Things Black People Like” and then wrote a completely honest list. I would no doubt be lambasted as a horribly ignorant racist. Oprah herself would probably feel the need to step in with her opinion. At least it would give Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson a new cause with which to enrich themselves by playing the victim/race card.
============================
What is an “honest” list if these are all stereotypes?
Every time bigots like you try to surface in the real world, you bump up against the limits of your own intelligence.
Everybody knows why this blog is acceptable and the one you proposed would not be. Whites like you only have themselves to blame for that.
It would be funny how you complain about Sharpton’s complaining while doing the same yourself; if only other people like you didn’t do it so often without being smart enough to see the irony.
Go have sex with your brother Rachel, since that is what people like you like to do. The real world is not for you. There are blacks in it (gasp!).
371 Goodnight Moon
Listen to #364, snobby: “bring a bottle of wine, not in a box…..”
Whatever.
Straight White males that belong to families are responsible for all the great wines of the Western world. Gays are ridiculous in their arrogance considering what they put on display on their community’s day of pride. Proud of that?
LOL!!!!!!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Here comes the flood!
Wine predates Western White Males by millenia.
What is so special about “your” wine?
I am so glad I chose to be White….
386 greatvacations
Black or white, gay or straight or whatever, why can’t we all just get along, be more understanding and accepting and relate to one another on an honest and human level.
You don’t understand. If I am not better than black people. Then who am I? And why am I here?
(It goes on and on.)
396 jimmy
WHAT A RACIST WEBSITE….IF we had a site talking about black people or any other race.. Sharpton would be all over TV getting it kicked off the net.
what racist Bullshit. And I do not fall into any of these categories….. so its just like saying all black people have fucked up teeth…. most do, but not all….o sry…that was racist wasnt it…
——Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, v, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine………………
Goodbye Jimmy.
418 Snobby
India! A friend of mine spent two weeks in India, and now everything is “India this – India that”. At least he didn’t return speaking English with an accent!
====================
That’s hilarious! So your friend did not have an accent before they went to India?
Was she speech-impaired (formerly known as “dumb”), because as far as I can tell anyone who can speak has some sort of accent.
Of course, being White and American, your speech is “default” and the whole rest of the world has an “accent”
437 Bob
#308, Nola08 is a liar. He is not a red blooded American heterosexual male, nor a Republican. He is either a homosexual, a minority or a liberal masquerading as a real American male.
No normal white people need a diversity roster of friends. Only the ones that have the same values and culture that this blog does.
There is nothing intrinsically special or good about diversity. Thats something the guilt-laden clueless white people need to understand.
=========================================
What other “values” do you reject?
The prohibition of incest?
Not all White people are so insignificant as to think their skin color constitutes a “culture”.
This guy is funny:
“450 asdfg
Reading over this blog, I’ve started to question my race. I clearly can’t be white because none of these posts really apply to me. I guess I’m just a disgrace to my race because I don’t see myself as being oh-so tolerant or cool for having a bi brother and gay friends. (Same to be said for my non-wonderbread friends. Damn, I really should send them all cards for making me so fucking awesome)”
++++++++++++
After lumping all Blacks, Jews, Hispanics or various non-whites into neat little groups for thousands of years; all of a sudden the Whites are confused when it happens to them.
Its’ fun to see people falling all over themselves in confusion:
“I’m white. This is not me…”
“What do you mean, “White”?”
“I’m confused…”
Keep that in mind the next time you and your “buddies” sit around to start complaining about “the blacks” or “the furriners”, and how they are “taking” away “your” jobs.
465 Ed Nicholson
I guess the “Stuff Rednecks Like” website would pretty much be the exact opposite of this one. Rednecks do not like gay people or sushi. And they could never live without a television. However, “white people” do seem to love redneck music — Johnny Cash these days, Lynyryd Skynyrd in yesteryear. Not so cut and dry is it?
—
Nobody cares what rednecks like.
That is why they whine and whine and whine about people who they feel get more attention than themselves.
Portnoy’s complaint
#501 Look, stop calling Whites “inbred”.
Jewish people are far more inbred and have remained so throughout history.
They are indentifying this inbreeding and more can be found here:….blah, blah, blah
—————-
Inbreeding reduces intelligence. Jewish people are some of the most intelligent there are out there.
Just have a look at your Nobel Prize winners for instance.
The inbred hicks like yourself, however, are legendary for your lack of intelligence. Just take a look at your post for instance.
More foolishness. And I see he repeats some nonsense here:
———————————
“528 Portnoy’s complaint
Snobby and Furious1: You guys are inbreds and inveterate anti-White bigots…..why are you on a White blog anyway?
LOL!!!
You guys don’t know shit from shine-ol-a. The White “supremacists” as you pejoratively call any White person you hate or is proud of being White, would theoretically support European-American gays having babies with their lesbo sisters, because the kids would still be uniquely White and maintain the diversity of their ancestors, and likely heterosexual too, so they would probably would discard their parents homosexual unnatural lifestyle. I don’t think all Whites are anti-gay.
#515 Jews are not White. They are Semites and their language (Hebrew) is Afro-Asiatic not European. It is the Jews themselves that state they are a minority, therefore they cannot be White.
There are many, many more reasons too, not to mention WW2. I think the only place that call the Jews “white” is the US Census folks, and they list the Arabs and North Africans as “white” too. They need to fix that.”
————————–
1. What is there to be “proud of” in “Whiteness”. Is White skin a feat of great accomplishment?
2. Implying that somebody is Jewish does not have the same cachet as it does on the inbreeding sites you frequent when you are not here.
It is hard to understand. I know…
3. For people who claim to not want “diversity’ the phrase “maintain the diversity of their ancestors” is hilarious. Get your story straight.
4. What the hell is a “European-American”? This is American where Americans live.
5. Your sentence about the lesbians makes no sense in English (to begin with).
That’s a very un-Euro-American trait. (Unless you’re the “German” kind).
6. Jews are White (along with various other colors).
All Jews are not Semitic. Many are.
ALL Semites are Caucasian. ALL.
People from India and Caucasian (White).
People from Iran are Caucasian (White).
Arabs are Caucasian (White).
Ask any anthropologist (if there are any who remain) who subscribe to the (long-dead) theory of “race”. they will break your heart.
7. The census does not determine what “white” is. Anthropology does. Sorry.
In Europe (where I have actually been), they don’t even take such nonsense data on their census anymore.
Let’s try and face it. We all really just want to be with people that are just like ourselves. You insult rednecks, Jews, gays, or blacks or whoever isn’t like you because it props you up. It always feels better to be in the company of and be accepted by your klan. I don’t have a problem with that. But if you are going to choose not to be Politically Correct, don’t be a little PC, stop being a full blown psusy or even a partial pu55y and be completely honest. You are looking for acceptance with someone. Sheeshk,
This site has some nerve that I think is needed today. To have a blog that stands up for being white is great. But really, now you want to identify who is your kind of white or what not is silly.
Aw da gay bruduhs & sistas is we’cum at de Trinity United AME-COGIC-Pentecostal Freewill Community Friendship Missionary Baptist Congregational Church of Brotherhood o da Af’ican Oppressed and Po’ (‘cuz o’ whitey). Da debil hisse’f ain’t got no chance o’ leadin’ astray d’os wut ‘fes ‘ligin’, sho’!
To have a gay friend is Out now for White People.
They praise more a Tibetan Buddhist, specially if the guy was born in Llassa.
Now that White People have “approved” and think gay is ‘hip”, does that mean the parades and books like “Daddy’s roommate” can go into the closet?
Again, I think people see a lot of “tolerance” as “happy about it”. You do understand what the word “tolerance” means, like in a medical sense? How much of something you can take before you keel over, become ill, or die?
Granted some varieties of gay are more “tolerable” than others. Compare Ellen to Richard Simmons. Oh and people hanging all over each other in public is gross, even heteros. Some White Hetero people are hard to “tolerate” too. Like the chicks who are like really into “the View” and “Oprah”. Or like drunk guys singing along to Ozzy Osbourne songs. Still, any of those scenarios are preferable to living anywhere near Oakland. I’ll take queers over ghetto any day of the week. They can style my hair and I will feed their poodles and tropical fish while they’re away rather than ghetto , or the 10 to a 2 bedroom apartment illegal aliens.
So, yeah, if the choice is like that, sure, f*gs RULE. AT least they won’t rape, rob and kill me.
What’s the big deal with having black friends? Same as whites but different skin colour. With gays though, there is no common ground.
And here I thought some gay people were white. You really proved me wrong. Kudos.
I’m back with my boyfriend Miles. I drove back to the condo unexpectedly and caught him IN BED WITH THE CABLE GUY. I COULD NOT believe it, and I had to have my girlfriend Bunny drive me over to Martin Memorial for a serious panic attack. Like OMG. This happened last week on Friday. Then Last night after several rounds of Dewars punctuated with a lot of yelling, we had an understanding about “gay.” With white guys, he said “the only difference between straight and gay is a six-pack of beer.” Has anyone heard of this? Apparently, he and the cable guy had watched some porn (I didn’t know about, of course) and put away 2 six packs of Stella, then got it on. He said it’s a “white guy thing” that happens all the time but they don’t discuss it around their girlfriends. I have mixed feeling about this. He’s taking me to Antigua for 2 weeks to calm me down. OMG. I’m like weirded out.
#669 You do understand what the word “tolerance” means, like in a medical sense? How much of something you can take before you keel over, become ill, or die.
Excellent! You might one of the smartest Whites here.
did 574 really say that? Because I lol’d. After “PS you guys made a BAD move taking in “T” into your LBGT axis.”, I feel positively subversive! Like some sort of illegal nuclear arms program in a Cold-War era bunker. I think I’ll go have a glass of [soy]milk, seeing as I’m a threat and all that.
As the gay, trans, artiste-vegan friend, I have a reasonable amount of potential for upwardly mobile trendy urban white people. They can at least pay me generously for all the things I’m “naturally” apt for, such as serving food; preparing coffee; taking photographs; writing poems; walking animals on leashes; bringing adorable cupcakes to get-togethers, and the like.
this blog is too funny.
i’m gonna keep on reading this blog from now on.
WARNING TO YOUNG GAY FRIENDS OF WHITE PEOPLE: When white people become parents, they will switch to gay friends with children. Young gay friends are out of style. *sigh*
This blog is a scream. I know lots of white people who may not see the humor though. They take their white a little too seriously I think.
white people also like to change their accent around their different types of friends. For example, when hanging out with their black friends they tend to ‘talk black’ and use some ebonics, even if the black friend doesnt speak ebonics.
While I agree with the attributes you listed, I must say that having a gay friend may also have drawbacks… unless its just OUR gay friend… When we leave the room for more than say 5 minutes, we usually can count on something … anything in that room being put in another place. Its not limited to accessories, either, and it could go as far as re-arranging furniture and wall-hangings! (Mrs. gets a bit offended at times.)
Outside of decor and hair style advice, its all good with our gay.
Yes, pet gays who presume to move aroung the furniture obviously should be taken to Gay Obedience School so they can be properly socialized to take their place in the Expert White Person’s diversity roster.
Aren’t most white guys gay or semi-gay?
The whole concept behind this blog needs to be renamed in my humble opinion, and I better point out that I’m not even white- I’m Pakistani, female and anti establishment (including the white liberal establishment) so I guess I got no business being here. Anyhow, you say white people, why don’t u say ‘some white people’, better still, why don’t you say ‘some white people who are middle class, liberal and happen to live in America- stuff THEY like.’ I say that because the white people I know, here in the UK (sorry- you said white people, they are white, believe me, they are white and they are people), they got no interest in 99% of what some white middle class people like. As for gay freinds, the white people I know albeit vaguely (not my friends obviously cos we got a strict racial divide here) are more likely to toss a gay person onto a railway line and post it on youtube.com than have a dinner party with them. Here some other stuff white people like.
1) Black pudding – dried pig’s blood sausage.
2) Pork pies with mushy peas and gravy
3) Eating kebabs at 2am while simulteneously puking up
4) Denim
5) Indian food- while calling us ‘dirty pakis’ at the same time.
All of this is fine by me, but white people also like another thing that likely gets on my nerves, and it’s the very white and the very middle class who do it more than anyone, what is it? It’s a disease called multiculturalism that basically ignores the oppression of Muslim women and the threats against ex Muslim women (like myself) in the name of live and let live-which really means turning a blind eye to all the abuse, intimidation and hassle we are getting whenever we try to speak up. Yes, cuddiling up to Islamic fascists and SELLING US OUT, white people really like it. Anyhow, enjoy being white, it sounds really nice and I’m happy for you, ever so.
http://apostatepakistanigirl.wordpress.com/
Sorry to disappoint you guy from brooklyn but most of us aren’t.
OK, after seeing apostatepakistanigirl’s avatar and the photo of her being unIslamic, I’ve bookmarked her blog.
Most gays want everybody to be gay. More “meat” in the market.
What a bunch of comments! Send them all to Iran!
White people have different levels of gay tolerance. A popular phrase amongst many White people is “I don’t care what they do as long as they keep it to themselves”. In some white groups, its popular to be homophobic or semi-homophobic.
“the wrong kind of whites” … I’m weak, crying with laughter… and the obtuse nasty replies following are hilarious!!
Homophobia has been mentioned several times on this thread, and its about time I pointed out a language tool typically employed by the left to try to put the dissenting views on the defense and change societal norms.
A phobia is an irrational, uncontrollable fear of something. That is what the suffix phobia used to denote.
However today they have attached it to those whose viewpoints they don’t agree with. Its almost like if you aren’t completely in agreement with their viewpoints on homosexuals it is bad and a phobia.
Sorry, homophobia isn’t a real word, its a linguistic propaganda tool. I don’t like nor accept homosexuals, I don’t seek them out as friends nor acquaintances as we have nothing in common. I also have no guilt about that.
Of course the left loves to brand people like me a “homophobe”, almost as if the contrived, linguistic propaganda word they invented, has some sort of negative connotation. Its akin to kindergaten gableygook.
Don’t let the left control the culture wars via linguistic propaganda, call them out at every opportunity.
I really enjoyed this entry and I really like this blog as a whole. Very cleverly done.
I am however alarmed by the number to people who have left comments here that are defamatory in nature to a whole chunks of our global community.
What terrible things have to happen to you in your life for you to hate so easily and so completely? I don’t know whether to feel sorry for you or sorry for the rest of us.
Bob the builder:
I am sorry you are so eager to label those with dissenting ideological viewpoints as “haters”.
But the truth be known due to genetic analysis the HIV virus jumped ship and has been among humans since the 1930s, yet never really gained a foothold in broader society until the late 1970s, coincidentally when homosexuality was tolerated openly…does that make me a “hater”?
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5450391
Know why it was traced back to NYC & LA circa 1981 and not Cameroon circa 1930? Because men who have sex with men & IV drug users are much more likely to transmit it. HIV is actually not easy to transmit via heterosexual sex.
Am I, “regular Bob” a hater for posting these facts regarding the HIV virus?
stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid people!
I’d say drunk white people tend to be less guarded in their voracious quest for gay friends. On any given night out I hear from a drunk white person:
“Oh my God! You’re gay!? …I LOVE gay people!”
LOL my str8 brother said he likes hangin out with me cuzz he meets hot chicks all the time that I have to tell…sorry Im gay…and this blog is obviously for fun all the negative, derogatory and/or inflammatory remarks are unnecessary
WHO KNEW? I’m a Black gay man, who works for a modeling agency, so I’m forever being invited to great parties and events…and may have to start charging my straight White friends for the privilege of my company! LOL!
Omg, Bob is so freaking gay.
I have plenty of lesbian friends. But know very few if any gay men. Not sure why. My gay friends are fun…they are very open and anything goes as far as conversation. They are definitely not an accessory…somehow they tend to lead more interesting lives than most of the straight people I know, including me.
I recently found this blog, which I love, and then this thread of replies, which I REALLY LOVE! The first thing I noticed is the name calling. Hilarious. Homophobe? What is that? It used to be what you called really bad people who turned to violence because of thier built up hatred. Now it is thown at anyone who disagrees with an “enlightened” white person. Give me a break. I have freinds and family members who are gay. These folks are not crazy about the “gay rights movement”, mostly because it tends to have the opposite effect as intended. That is debatable, but the fact is that if you “enlightened” folks were to read a transcript of some of our conversations over the years, without knowing who it was that was speaking, you would probably be quick to call all of us “homophobes”. Perhaps many of you name callers should examine your own narrow minds, instead of rushing to be the first to label somebody else based on a one sentence reply to a blog.
wow yes this article is so true. I recently went to a bar and was hit on by a gay guy, and I explained to him that I wasn’t like that but it was cool so we became friends and i felt so good and tolerant >.<
McCain hates gay friends. Also gay sweaters.
This post is spot on!…SO true I am always wary of white people who want to be my friend
I t seems to me that they want to be my friend so they can appear “cool” ( I am black).
Hell I am not a damn artifact.
Labor of Love
Is society ready for this pregnant husband?
By Thomas Beatie
From The Advocate April 8, 2008
Labor of Love
To our neighbors, my wife, Nancy, and I don’t appear in the least unusual. To those in the quiet Oregon community where we live, we are viewed just as we are — a happy couple deeply in love. Our desire to work hard, buy our first home, and start a family was nothing out of the ordinary. That is, until we decided that I would carry our child.
I am transgender, legally male, and legally married to Nancy. Unlike those in same-sex marriages, domestic partnerships, or civil unions, Nancy and I are afforded the more than 1,100 federal rights of marriage. Sterilization is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights. Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire.
sick photo here: http://advocate.com/uploadedImages/advocate/editorial/current_issue_stories/1005/THOMAS_BEATIE.jpg
Does the gayness of white gay people negate their whiteness? This blog talks about whiteness and gayness like they are mutually exclusive.
I certainly hope not! I’m white and gay and love dinner parties, outdoor performance clothes, bicycles, and bad memories of high school (go figure).
hahahaha assistance with moving. hahahah! good one! i love this blog! i want to know if the person that writes it is white. lol
Rick, you’re a good man. If white…
But… why don’t y’all discuss “it”?
except in prison
“White people do not want black friends. Trust me.”
Yes they do. It’s just that, outside of college or work, white people don’t have any idea where to find black people, what to say to them, or what to do with their new black friend if they should be so lucky as to actually make one. For instance, I don’t recall seeing even one black person in the audience at the last Lenny Kravitz concert I attended …
“If you follow this simple rule, you should be able to maximize all benefits of white friendship including assistance in moving and free drinks.”
Wait a second, non-white people don’t buy their friends drinks? GOD DAMMIT I’VE BEEN HAD!
haha
a good friend of mine, about two weeks after we met, declared drunkenly to me and everyone within earshot (all good friends) that i was homophobic because i wouldn’t kiss him. really, he was only being funny- but he was so adamant about his joke that i began to feel bad. weird. he then proceeded to lick my face and laugh at me. he had (has) a pretty steady girlfriend.
ironically- a few months later, friendship established, i ended up kissing him at the shy encouragement of my (er..slightly turned-on) girlfriend… him and two other good boyfriends of mine. i think i definitely have tolerance points for that.
the thing is, folks, it was very awkward. not because i was uncomfortable with the concept, but because i had no idea what to do with my hands! i ended up holding the face of one friend, hugging/hand-on-the-back-of-head the other one, and a lean and kiss the one who was sitting down. i’d always thought of myself as (secretly) curious but turns out i suck at kissing guys. hopefully just guys. conclusion: kissing guys is hard, but doesn’t make me so. kind of a bummer.
nice rant, eh? white people love mashup, too. folks in their early twenties may find some gems in this:
http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~axavier/Music/twwbtwib.zip
shameless plugging, i know.
Stop it, Niles!
Ooooh! Ooooh! And if one of the conjoined twins was a minority and the other one wasn’t…. wow wouldn’t THAT be the bees knees!
naw, I live in missouri (STL), and we love our gay friends, and we especially love our gay friends dinner parties.
although we do not love the fact that they cant get married.
many gay men do not like will & grace
Gee, that never happened to Grace! And we all KNOW that tee-vee reflects the whitest of white life…
How about Gay Asian friends? Huh? Huh? Do I get extra points??
Yes, I can see why you’d have nothing in common with gay people. Many of them care about other people enough to develop relationships with folks outside of business.
And for half of the gay population, the vagina works fine too. See? You DO have SOMETHING in common. It’s just with dykes.
Why do only gay guys get to be tokens?
Stuff Lesbians Like
As awesome as it is, this site has again confused white, liberal democrats with all other white people. How many rich republicans, regular Joes, or nednecks boast gay friends?
Wow. join a cause already.
SO TRUE!
Lesbians like when white people read their lesbian blogs, too (or anyone, for that matter)
er, forgot the link, ha
Lesbiatopia
Too Funny! I have a friend from college (not grad school) that came out to me a few years ago. It’s no big deal. My wife and I see him and his partner a couple times a year, as they live about 6 hours away. BTW, he’s white and a staunch (gasp) Republican and doesn’t give a damn about what people think, either.
GAY PEOPLE ARE SO INTERESTING THEY HAVE SUCH AN INTERESTING AND TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE LIFESTYLE, I LOVE MY GAY FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY ARE VERY DIVERSITY-RICH PEOPLES.
But not-gay white people LOVE it. Those unfortunate enough not to have gay friends use references to it as their surrogate.
(For the record I’m a white lesbian.)
apt observation–white gay men see themselves as the arbiters of gay “culture” and politics–no different from white people seeing themselves as the arbiters of world culture and politics. this blog is moronic, privileged white bullshit.
#1001 White people don’t like it when they are told that “blank” orginates from blanche, (i.e. white) as in colorless, banal, insipid, bland
True, but how many rich republicans do you know check satirical self deprecating blogs:)
Most of them are intolerant of anyone who doesn’t agree with them.
NO!!! They don’t you fagot!!!
You are no longer straight if you take it up the ass!!!
I would imagine that you have a gay friend that you don’t know is gay…it’s simple math. Statistically, it’s 1/14 people, although they may not be “openly gay” around you. I see why after the completely contradictory comment you made. A sexual behavior does not define a person…I’d hate to think that was the case. I mean, I’m sure you’re not REALLY a pig that likes being whipped.
Don’t flatter yourself, PW.
Still regretting that time in college where you tried it? Poor thing. I hope this lashing out makes you feel like a real man somehow. I know that laying on your back under a DUDE doesn’t. Bye!
“While white people love being a part of any movement, the gay movement is especially important to them because they can blend in at rallies and protests and spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression.” – Ahahaha. That’s truly horrible and hilarious (because I suspect it’s true).
I am white, but I dont collect friends like pokemon cards…does this mean that I’m not-quite-white?
I’m gay, anonymous, and yes, I am proudly intolerant of people who do not agree that gay people should have rights. These people are incorrect, I am correct. I do not believe in “opinions” about these things. I believe that most things are either right or wrong, and it’s not always easy to figure out whether a thing is right or wrong but in this case I think it’s pretty clear: gay people should have equality. Seems obvious. And if you disagree then I don’t like you and I don’t see anything wrong with that.
You think you’re correct you arrogant gay. Homo acts are introducing disgusting new diseases into the straight world, not only HIV but the flesh-eating, drug resistant bacterium USA 300 — straight from San Fran’s Castro street.
In short, your quest for deviant behavior, like “barebacking” and meth-fueled sodomy, is jacking up health insurance and exposing the world to vile diseases.
It shouldn’t be a question of you having rights at all. It should be question of what to do with your sorry, self-abused rears in the first place. You make me retch.
well thats because most black people dont like rock music. Try a snoop dogg concert.
Michael Lucas–longtime porn actor and director of such films as Hunt & Plunge, The Bigger The Better, and Fire Island Cruising (editions one through eight). A fixture in New York nightlife and head of his own production company, Lucas is one of the biggest names in gay porn.
Born Andrei Bregman to a secular Jewish family in Russia, Lucas is a graduate of Moscow State Law Academy. But he always craved celebrity, and the allure of fame enticed him to Berlin in 1995 to work as a model and prostitute.
Lucas, it turns out, is a fervent supporter of Israel
i completely agree
I do!!!!!!!!
We all seem to like gay men, but lesbians are not quite as intriguing to white people. I think it is the outdoor performance clothing that they wear.
no, it just means you’re not boring enough to need them, which als would prolly disqualify you to be a bona-fide white person!
Um….don’t you mean that white people don’t want black friends who think that they need white friends, the way white people need black friends?
Why would any white person want or not want a black friend? Or vice versa? Is friendship about colour?
Maybe I’m having problems picking up what being a white person is all about ( this is sarcasm I have many years practice at being a white person and am now very good at it!) But every few messages there’s one that obviously is written by some one who blames their 83 problems in life on oppression by someone of another colour, simply because there is some one of a different colour present to blame!
I’m a black person who likes rock. I’m a real rarity.
Jews are always big in anything to do with degrading and corrupting the Goyim. For them it means big money and peculiar Jew sense of satisfaction.
Scratch an abcess to society and you’ll always find a Jew blinking in the light.
This article is horrible. It is very pessimistic and ignores the idea that many people accept the gay community open-heartedly without any ulterior motives.
Honey, if only I had the time to tell you about the many “white folks” at my office that simply LOVE having a homo around the office to feel “diverse.” Sigh, too bad I know what they’re like at home with their families.
This article is bang on the money in many regards.
I have a midget for a friend! It’s nice to finally feel tall even though I’m only 5’5″. She is 3’9″! For the most part it’s wonderful except when she beats me at bowling or something and I have to hear about it from her for two weeks. “I beat you! I beat you and I’m only like 40 lbs heavier than the ball!” Dang. Midgets can be regular-sized cruel, I guess.
Seriously, though, she’s a great gal. Based on my limited experience, I highly recommend the midget friend.
It’s because lesbians are the most miserable people you’ll ever meet.
(think Rosie O’Donnell)
This website is not actually about white people. It’s about “hipsters”.
http://www.amazon.com/Hipster-Handbook-Robert-Lanham/dp/1400032016
Go to the wrong side of the tracks, whitegirl. That’s where they live and hang out– Shadytown. When you hang out there, say “Hey, I like your shanty!” And you can hang out and stay warm by burning trash. Don’t forget to bring something to eat if you want a square meal!
p.s. Black people don’t like Lenny Kravitz because he’s a douchebag.
isn’t i a joke?
and the number one commet to a gay person, ” i know this other gay person… you should meet them, you’d be perfect for one another… i mean, come on, you’re both gay.”
sooo tasteful
Jay, I’m gay and I don’t take it up the ass. The other guy does. Would you like to hear more?
Jay, I’m gay and I don’t take it up the ass. The other guy does. Would you like to hear more?
PW, straight white guys think every gay guy is after ’em. Here’s the thing: Lose 30 pounds, brush your teeth, get a haircut, and give me some reason to think you’ll do more than just lay there, and then we’ll talk.
I guess these nazis are upset with your portrayal of White people:
http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?p=5301911&posted=1#post5301911
Umm that was rather narrow-minded.
Hahaha a simple matter of sociology.
There are definitely different cultures hence this blog (consider it a distant cousin, 3rd removed): blog.stuffblackpeoplelove.com/
A friend recently told me about an experience he had working for a pious nonprofit sector company in DC.
His employer had assumed my friend was gay. When my friend corrected the misunderstanding–revealing that he was straight, unmarried, and his partner-with-a-gender-neutral-name was a woman–his employer tried to take away his domestic partner benefits.
Gay people should be beaten to death with a baseball bat that has a knife attached to the end of it.
Huh?
Hipsters are allowed to like Johnny Cash too.
If you’ve never met a gay man who can talk about movies, books or politics, or a lesbian who’s a really nice and well-adjusted person, you clearly need to get out more. Because neither is even remotely rare in the real world.
Africa for Africans, Asia for Asians, White Countries for Everybody
“Liberals and respectable conservatives say there is this RACE problem. Everybody says this RACE problem will be solved when the third world pours into EVERY white country and ONLY into white countries.”
“The Netherlands and Belgium are more crowded than Japan or Taiwan, but nobody says Japan or Taiwan will solve this RACE problem by bringing in millions of third worlders and quote assimilating unquote with them.”
“Everybody says the final solution to this RACE problem is for EVERY white country and ONLY white countries to “assimilate,” i.e., intermarry, with all those non-whites.”
“What if I said there was this RACE problem and this RACE problem would be solved only if hundreds of millions of non-blacks were brought into EVERY black country and ONLY into black countries?”
“How long would it take anyone to realize I’m not talking about a RACE problem. I am talking about the final solution to the BLACK problem?”
“And how long would it take any sane black man to notice this and what kind of psycho black man wouldn’t object to this?”
“But if I tell that obvious truth about the ongoing program of genocide against my race, the white race, Liberals and respectable conservatives agree that I am a naziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews.”
“They say they are anti-racist. What they are is anti-white.”
“Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white.”
My new Str8 friend claims to be somewhat half-straight. He’s half-gay MWF then half-straight T,Th. However, he’s totally gay on Sats for drugs and the bars, then totally straight on Su for motorsports. He’s getting couseling for 3-day holiday weekends.
Dude, if you were really “secure in your manhood,” you’d love gay people The fact taht you had to defend yourself indicates that you’re really not secure at all. You’re “homo-phobo-brainwashed.” The reason the Bible says that is that mansex doesn’t breed slaves and consumers for the people who control you to exploit. If you had porked and blown your beer buddies as a kid you’d probably not be
the dissociated and frightened mess you are now.
Give my regards to the people of your planet, but don’t revisit this one, pal.
Do you have a link to the blog for white people in Ohio?
Thanks. Apparently, I’m out of the loop.
They’re catching on, but they’ve been brutally brainwashed.
Once they’ve had a dick in their mouth, they usually go into spontaneous remission and recover their humanity.
Thanks for the stunning insights into the depths of your homophobic state of denial. But blaming “the left” because you unconsciously want a cock in your ass is really lame. Or is your comment intended as ironic satire?
I caught Meth-Fueled Sodomy in Billburg last weekend and they rock!
The solution to the “race problem” is a really nasty invasion of Earth by space aliens. Then everyone would realize there’s only ONE race on the planet: the Human
Bullshit. The hate for Whitey trumps everything. Ask “Princeton-educated” Michelle Obama.
what the f***??!! this is the dumbest sh!t i’ve heard in a long long time, and i’ve heard some dumb sh!t!!
“Boys have penises, girls have vaginas”…haven’t you seen the movie Kindergarden Cop???
What if you are a white gay person? Hmmmmm. A quandary….
and wow, do people here not get irony? Oh yeah, that’s a white thing….
Well, of course it is about white, liberal, upper-middle-class democrats. But that is part of what makes the satire so funny. (White) people often stereotype by saying, “Black people tend to such and such…”, when they really mean “Poor, urban black people…” or “Affluent, educated black people…” or “This particular black person I know…” So this site turns the tables by taking the traits of suburban/urban, educated, liberal white people and attributing those traits to all “white people”. I love it that it never distinguishes between different types of white people. Its always just “white people”. Sometimes “100% of white people”. Brilliant!
#136: Explaining Humor.
“The only difference between straight and gay is a six-pack of beer.” I hadn’t heard that either. Hell, I better be careful… my buddy and I can split a whole friggin’ case and never put a hand on each other.
Maybe I should ask?…
You omitted an important consideration from your narrative, namely, that the only thing one need “fear” about gays is their undue political leverage.
What’s to fear from guys who, when they open their mouths the purses fall out? (Not an original line BTW.) They wish!
“I suck at kissing guys.”
Food for thought there…
I kiss sucking guys?
I suck, you kiss?
Kiss goodbye to sucking guys?
You have struck just the right tone.
You too have struck the right tone.
I was a quarterback who could pass, run, kick, and play linebacker.
my cousin is gay- which should be totally awesome- but he’s more working class than flamer. so disappointing. i wish he and his boyfriend would at least adopt a chinese little girl or something.
i had lots of gay friends in college, naturally, but afterwards they all ran off to the brighter lights of bigger cities…
White people, especially women like having gay friends because they can ask them certain stuff they would never ask their straight girlie friends.
Let me give you a great example.
Imagine this scenario: you’re concerned about oral sex. Sure, you could go to a friend and ask for advice, but that’s so potentially embarrassing.
After all, that’s why the internet exists. So you type it into Google: cunnilingus.
But surprise-surprise, instead of getting helpful tips on what to do when your husband wants to eat you out, you get porn.
Endless, endless porn. What’s an awkward, orally-inexperienced girl to do? Ask your gay friend, banh still a bit too embarassing.
That’s where http://www.ReallyWorried.com comes in.
I’m a man who wants all this shoving of gay people stuff down MY throat to stop. Damn, even that sounds gay. Why has homosexuality been a forbidden fruit for so long? Damn, that sounds gay too. Gay commentators continually prick my interest by… Damn, again with the gay talk. This is truly queer. I seem to have blown another attempt to…DAMN!!!
I agree.Gay.Very gay.Like hot buttered buggery.
http://tonalddrump.wordpress.com/
Hand on my nutsack and Spitting lungies.
Homosexuality is a sin according to the Bible, and those who practice it have no place in the Kingdom. Say what you like, those are God’s admonishments and you will eventually have to stand before him and listen to His judgment. Those who support the sin but don’t practice it are equally guilty. As a normal heterosexual person, I find the very thought of what these perverts do to be as disgusting as anything imaginable.
Repent while you can!
Trust me, gayness and whiteness are NOT exclusive. It always shocks me as a gay man to go into a club or walk down the street and see a tall black man whose hips move more than both my sisters combined, wears more makeup than my mom and expects to be treated like the Queen B. I just think that some of us tend to tone down the gayness to an acceptable level so that people aren’t embarrassed to be seen with us in public. As stated before, most of the black gays similar to what I said before are rarely seen in company with anyone else but others just like them. As a gay male, *I* wouldn’t be caught walking down the street with someone like that.
Right??? I mean, straight guys have girls who are just friends, and I’m pretty sure that before I came out I used to give it to my ex girlfriends. Plus, I guarantee that I probably play more sports, work out more, run, swim, hike, and watch more sports than most straight men. OH, not to mention I grew up in a small town on a farm. I’m pretty sure that the only difference between me and most of my straight friends is that they dig chicks and I dig guys. Other than that, not much difference. I think statements like “they take it in the ass” prove that even though Jay isn’t homophobic, he certainly isn’t comfortable with the thought that someone might wanna put it up his ass, and oh, he might like it. You guys should read this article from the Onion!
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34118
It makes you OFF WHITE!!! MOTHER OF PEARL! haha Uh, why do people make a big deal out of who and what people’s friends are. Most of my friends are really hot. Does that make me shallow? Does that make hot? Does that make me more white? Hell, I’m gay and most of my friends are straight, does that make me picky or is there something that we all share in common (like staying active, being educated, having professional jobs, working out). I think it shouldn’t be a matter of being white or purple or black or avacado, as long as you enjoy your time with your friends and you aren’t out trying to kill other people. But, just some advice, if you do have a gay friend, don’t say “Oh I’d like you to meet my gay friend So and So”. How would you like it if I introduced you as “Hi, this is my frigid bitch friend Susan” or “Hey, this is Danny, he’s a great guy but his dick is REALLY small and his wife cheats on him”. Think about THAT!
uhhh…is el gato kidding?
oh yeah, and are jewish people white?
Interestingly, I think that this is “white people want gay friends” thing is true for gay males than gay women. They think we are trashy
OMG! I fell over laughing!
Common term, comes with sneer attached.
Haw haw haw! I was so unaware that we shopped at different stores, ate different food, liked completely different sports, and were unaffected by the choices made by our nation’s leaders as straight people. My God, does that mean that all those people at the hockey game were gay like me? Yesss!
Wow, please explain how is bi-curiosity “OK for chicks” yet not OK for guys? Typical homophobic prick who watches lesbian porn.
Ouch. : (
See, this is what people have to start realizing, that these “good white people” commenting here who coo and gush “OMG THAT’S ME I TOTALLY HAVE LIEK ALL THESE GHEY FRIENDS,” are totally missing the point that they’re being the ones who are discriminatory in viewing gay/black/Asian/disabled/whatever people as people to be pitied and collected as medals of “progressive-mindedness”. Oh the irony of the irony.
“Go ahead, experiment. If it’s not what you are looking for, wut you there for?”
Your comment was dead on. Really, the irony of these people saying things like “YOMGZ THAT’S ME YOU’RE DESCRIBING ME I LOVE GHEYS” don’t realize that they’re the ones being discriminatory in wanting to “collect” gays/minorities/whatever. The thing is that most “good white people” on this blog commenting on how they love don’t realize that this attitude of “I want to be friends with you because you are gay/trans/minority/disabled/considered worse than me” in order so that said “good white person” can look better themselves — are exacerbating stereotypes and are basically shallow fuckwits.
I’m a minority, and why the hell would I want to be friends with someone who values me on the basis of my skin color/orientation/whatever? Bastards.
No one should want to be friends with these people, the irony of the irony. Reverse discrimination in the most ironic way…
Hahaha exactly… your comment is perfect.
This blog is making me really start to hate “white people” then, what fuckers would they be if they choose friends on the basis of how “lower” and “worthless” they consider people to be in comparison then.
The irony of these racist/discriminatory bastards saying “I LOVE GAYS OF MINORITIES BECAUSE I THINK THEY ARE INFERIOR AND IT MAKES ME LOOK MORE OPEN-MINDED.”
The irony, seriously.
That’s painful. See the thing is, the people who gush about how “I LUVZ GAY PEEPS AND MINORITIES” for issues of self-congratulation about “tolerance” are so sickening in their own right. How ironic. I’m a Southeast Asian woman and I hate it when people exoticize and just, god. How can people not see that this is just another form of racism?
It’s a joke people. Have a sense of irony. Or at least humor.
The only thing that might compare to having a gay friend is having a very fat or obese friend… you get points for being compasionate from all your other white friends…. or having a friend with mild tourettes…. you are all missing a WHOLE niche of people to add to our collections… I am obviously the hippest here having been the only one to mention handicapped friends…. good day
Yup. As one, I hope you’re thrilled that I’m participating. In my experience it can negate not only whiteness, but also your humanity.
I wish more people were like you.
White is the PRESENCE of ALL color. Black is the ABSENCE of color….ask any Art Student.
We love the gays. Great big huge.
Lulu B.
whywelovethegays.com
Wow… that website sucks. it’s very unoriginal and attempts to bash this one.
Ok, I’ve just read to the following line:
“is especially important to them because they can blend in at rallies and protests and spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression.”
Me and my buddy Lou needed a chance to breath after laughing so hard, so I thought I’d use the time to say that it’s taken us like half an hour to get to this line. Thank you, SWPL.com.
Regards,
Pat
That poor baby in that picture looks like one of those hand puppets.
no it doesnt….?
I am half asian and half gay. White people love me.
fag
Trimegistus: I just want *you* as my friend, along with an OCD friend to keep my house clean.
I just had to say “thank you” for the link to the “my son is gay” article from the Christian women’s mag….I haven’t laughed so hard in ages!!!!!
I’ll have to email my Mom a copy so she can see how well-adjusted she is by comparison 😉
Hey Baby…if you think the thought is disgusting then give me your address and I’ll be happy to come over and show you how horrifying the ACT is!!!!
white LIGHT is the presence of all colors of light. In pigment (like in skin) it’s the other way around. Not to get technical
actually… its LIGHT, not white.
haha, but good atempt at being white, darkie. 🙂
RACIST!
White is the presence of all colors in a Light Spectrum, as Black is the the absence of color. When referencing color in a pigment, the opposite is true. White is the absence of color and Black a combination of all colors. Color Theory 101.
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Truth, Equality, and Justice?
http://www.survival-international.org
dAY mAN!!
aaAAAAAHHHHH!
FIGHTEr OF THE nIGHT mAN!
aaAAAAAHHHHH!
YOU’RE a mASTER OF kARRaTE, AND fRIENDHiP ,
FOR EVERYONE!
DAY MAN!
hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahaha. white people.
thank you for committing a verbal hate crime.
dummie..
what kind of extra white points do i get for living with a gay couple where one guy is french and the other is american? and I am bi? i wish there were more people as tolerant as me….
black people don’t like gays because of gentrification and other things that steal their show
Frankly, I don’t find this site or its entries “brilliant”. This type of humor is fairly old hat by now. And I don’t think everyone who reads it gets the joke, if the joke is as you describe: ‘taking the traits of suburban/urban, educated, liberal white people and attributing those traits to all “white people”‘.
Poking fun at whiteness is all well and fine, but this take on whiteness is limited to a “minority”. I’m tired of all of this “racialness” as it keeps placing a distorted focus on the issue of racial identity in a time when our common humanity is being neglected.
Wieners!
Your maturity is impeccable.
By the way, the appropriate response to this is (homophobe)
Your blog is nothing short of fabulous. (Did you really expect me to say it was anything but?) As a gay man, though, I don’t identify with being white. I consider myself more peach-colored than white.
The comments on this post are by far the best so far.
White people like gay people, black people, but they LOVE gay black people.
http://www.poorpeoplelikepizza.blogspot.com
Hey, I am. I can tolerate any thing, except you and the shit you tolerate.
Lenny Kravitz is half white ( Jewish) ???
I find it frankly hysterical! Why can’t you people laugh at yourselves? You know this shit is true!
So true they’re always like “this gay guy” and “this black girl”
gay asian = gaysian
gay latino = gaytino
gay black = gayfro-american (well, it’s better than “gack”)
You forget
Gay, Black, with a kid, and JEWISH. That’s the ultimate gay friend for white people.
Me too! Except I am not rich…
Oh wow. Being a straight white male, I just creamed my pants at the prospect of such an addition to my diversity roster.
Sorry, but Damien is quite right. A large number of young Black gay men are highly stylish and feminine. It’s something called the “ball” subculture (like costume balls, not basketballs). Members of this subculture talk and carry themselves in ways that most white gay men would stigmatize as excessively queeny, even if they are simultaneously jealous or the impeccable style.
It’s not true of all Black gay men, of course. But it’s a sizable subculture in the inner cities.
This website is very insulting to white people. I am white and do not “collect” friends like some sort of hobby. I don’t know if the people I associate with are gay or not and I really don’t care much. What a stupid website. Do black people collect “white” or “asian” friends??
I second that. I watch this site like it’s a movie. ;*)
pipe down oprah
I am a gay that likes a little hamster action in my ass, I’m so sure only whites are into this. I know other whites seek us out as friends, and its like ok, cause we feel special too, and gay, and I’m going to skip out to whole foods. Whats a girl to wear, I feel like a protest, how about a nude in?
In answer to your question I am a white republican and not only do I have 2 gay friends but one of them is black and wanted to have a child with his female roomate but she met a man and they got married and had their own kids. Maybe i should be disqualifed for being Jewish. By law a Jew is suppossed to be a liberal democrat so I am bucking the sterotype right there. I am a social liberal to a degree and think that my kids are growing up during the wussification of America due to this crazy PC we now live in. My cousin is also gay and my wife has a lesbian cousin so we pretty much cover it all. How you like me now. PS wanted to vote for Romney (see jewish surfers for romney) but will settle for McCain. Might have voted for obama if he were gay but never for clinton even though she probably is.
Gay’s cost each of us NORMAL Americans thousands! Each of you.
If you knew what the health insurance companies have to figure in because of the deviant behaviors of these people, then you would definitely not be so “accepting.”
See one of the nasty new diseases these people have created by their sick acts: Why the Gays really SUCK!
Click here and be prepared to be totally grossed out:
http://incogman.wordpress.com/2008/04/09/sicko-sodomite-lover-seeks-to-gay-up-your-kids/#more-561
comments above that point out these things white people like falling under things liberal minded/mid-upper-mid class/educated/guilt-ridden/self-conscious/self-loathing/identity-lacking, etc. like is accurate. I think lander knows this, sees this in himself, and is just being honest and self-parodying. He’s taking the measure of the construct that has defined certain parts of him and his culture, and he’s finding it wanting. it’s healthy, it’s funny, it’s real.
what the fuck is incogman talking about?
Gays are the source of new, sickening diseases like the flesh-eating USA300. Go to my link and see.
Homos engage in disgusting, deviant acts — perfect breeding/evolving grounds for such things.
My link will show you, if you have any guts left you brainwashed PC clones.
You are misunderstanding the real reason why white people like gays. See, the reason is that non-gay white people are, well, fashion-impaired. As in, wear a purple shirt with a black suit jacket and red shoes fashion impaired. Non-gay white people simply can’t dress or decorate worth a crap. Which is a problem when white people want to have dinner parties. Thus they cultivate gay people in order to tell them what they need to wear and need do to their house and landscaping in order to make it just look, like, MAHvelous, yes?
– Badtux the Snarky Penguin
WEEak, no?
http://aniggaincyberspace.com/2008/04/11/black-nerd-revolution/
You white people sure love stuff. But gay friends that’s going to far.
Gays having fashion sense? What a laugh. They do if you like plush red velvet interior decorations, while wearing pink tutus bottoms and leather body harnesses.
http://incogman.wordpress.com/
As a gay Black man, I am thrilled to offer my services to any white people who need to raise their hip factor. I am great dancer so I know how to make my rhythmically challenged friends look good at a part , I only come across as angry when it suits the political discourse. And I am at home at the ballet as I am at a mets game, so I can offer boys or girls night out to couples in need of some space. let me know, I can be bought
It’s little wonder that Blacks have close to half the STD’s and that the leading cause of death for Black males 18 to 44 is HIV — AIDS. 56% of Black females have at least one 1 STD because of the bisexual nature of the Negro male.
Blacks would screw a hole in the ground if they have to.
http://incogman.wordpress.com/2008/02/27/what-you-dont-know-will-make-you-retch/#more-451
Oh Swish you sick freak, please lick my balls, and insert on hammie in my A-hole. I the freak you liberal scum need for a friend? What a great cuntry, pass the KY jell
This is so cool! I am like prime friend material! A black, gay man living in Japan and dating a Japanese guy. Am I allowed to hold white friend interviews to see who gets me?
i am dan
actually homophobe is wrong to say
I don’t want to be around gays I think two men having sex with each other is disgusting and certainly not normal.Aman sucking another mans cock is not normal and certainly not natural
if same sex was natural they’d be able to have children naturally , they cannot
Am I homophobic, no I am not, phobic means to be scared of , to live in fear
I do not nor will I do live in fear of homosexuals.
I think they need mental help, they are confused, they like having sex with the same sex as a sexual preference much like maybe two poeple like doing bondage, that is all.
Now if they say it’s not about sex and it’s love then I love my friends , dog, family etc but I don’t feel the need to have sex with them
If it’s personal and they are not harmoing me then why have the rainbow stickers on their cars saying they are gay, why have these daft parades showing they are gay to the world? if they want their sexual prefernce personal then keep it personal and stop telling the rest of us about what you like .
I fthey are not harming me then should muslims have 4 wives or mormons have as many wives as they want
after all they are not harming you, infact a boy last year got caught having sex with an animal in sherborn massachusetts, he wasn’t hurting you, so should we make that legal too?
sod it
homosexuals want to be married, OK well every arguament they use love, personal, not harming you, about love etc etc can be used for muslims and mormons having more than one wife, , why not let that boy who had sex with the animal get married to the animal after all he isn;t hurting you, he’s doing it in his own 4 private walls, what right do we have to say what you can and can’t do in your bedroom , isn’t this what homosexuals say
In Sweden last year scientists have foiund a cure for homosexuals, they found that people who say they are gay have the less of what they are supposed to have for instance
a gay man will have more estrogen in him and not enough testrone like he shoudl and vica versa
scisntists found thaty by injecting more estrogen into a wooman who thinks she’s gay then she will become more natural and now like men
Of ocurse the gay groups said the money invested was a waste of time and they are ignoring this discovery
how typical
racist
a man sucking another mans dick is disgusting
a man sticking his dick up another mans arse is disgusting
a man kissing aother man is disgusting
you should be ashamed of your sexual pervertedness, it is nota natural act what you are doing other wise if it was antural you’d be able to have kids with other men natural like nature intended
you cannot
you want to keep it public then stop telling us you’re a homosexual, stop flying the rainbow stickers, stop having thses weird parades where men are acting like they are more womanly then a woman, dressed all weird.
you say you are not hurting me and what you do is your personal buisness, then Ok by that logic you use then let msulims have 4 wives, let mormons have as many wives as they want and last year a man was caught having sex with an animal in sherborn massachusetts, let him marry his animal , In some countries like India you can marry animals/
You say it’s not sex but love
well I love many friends, family, even the pet dog but I don’t feel to sleep with them, havin sex with them or even marry them.
Fact is is a disgusting act what you do and you should be ashamed
get some testerone injected into you
laugh you do
well scientists in sweden found a cure for you homosexuals, they found men like you have too much estrogen and your brain is not right
they found a cure for you now get some help and stop thinking being a homosexual is natural , it isn’t as if nature intended you and another man to poke each other with your dicks then you’d be able to have kids naturally , you cannot
get the help
racist
a man sucking another mans dick is disgusting
a man sticking his dick up another mans arse is disgusting
a man kissing aother man is disgusting
you should be ashamed of your sexual pervertedness, it is nota natural act what you are doing other wise if it was antural you’d be able to have kids with other men natural like nature intended
you cannot
you want to keep it public then stop telling us you’re a homosexual, stop flying the rainbow stickers, stop having thses weird parades where men are acting like they are more womanly then a woman, dressed all weird.
you say you are not hurting me and what you do is your personal buisness, then Ok by that logic you use then let msulims have 4 wives, let mormons have as many wives as they want and last year a man was caught having sex with an animal in sherborn massachusetts, let him marry his animal , In some countries like India you can marry animals/
You say it’s not sex but love
well I love many friends, family, even the pet dog but I don’t feel to sleep with them, havin sex with them or even marry them.
Fact is is a disgusting act what you do and you should be ashamed
get some testerone injected into you
laugh you do
well scientists in sweden found a cure for you homosexuals, they found men like you have too much estrogen and your brain is not right
they found a cure for you now get some help and stop thinking being a homosexual is natural , it isn’t as if nature intended you and another man to poke each other with your dicks then you’d be able to have kids naturally , you cannot
get the help
don’t bother with the usual homophobic
phobic means to live in fear, to be scared of, I am not living in fear nor am I scared of a man who wants to put his dick up another mans arse or in a mans mouth.
you are a fucking tool. end of story.
you only perpetuate a stereotype of gay men and women without taking into account the whole argument….. “natural ou pas” is ultimately fucking irrelevent.
you want to talk about/argue about this? you would and will lose ultimately; your argument is completely flawed.
you’re judging people when you will never, ever understand their point of view, nor will you be open to it nor will you ever be insightful to it.
you’re probably one of those dudes that finds lesbians “hot and arrousing etc etc.”
you probably are some fucking NED that can’t do anything but write some SKA songs….get a life dude.
you’re ass would be kicked by a lot of people for the crap that is spewing out of your mouth…you probably have never even spoken with a gay guy or girl
dude, you are hella gay.
http://www.stuffeducatedblackpeoplelike.com
Haha, thats hilarious! Incogman, you are the prime example of ignorance and stupidity, Webster dictionary should really be given a picture of you so they can put it next to those words, be kinda nice to have a picture definition of words like “moron” “idiot” “dickhead” “wangjob”. Oh by the way, this article wasn’t about homosexuals or promoting homosexual lifestyles… if you could read, you would have seen it was a humourous dig at certain minority within the white community.
Oh yeah, sure of course, straight people DON’T have sex. You were the product of some science project gone wrong. The hippie movement in the sixties and seventies with the whole free love movement was only made popular by gay people, of course the straight people all sat at home and listened to the wireless, completely ignorant of the whole sexual revolution that was going on.
Of course straight people never perform acts like fellatio, and cunninglingus. They have no idea what bestiality, scat, golden shower, s&m, and cleveland steamers means. They never cheat on their wives/husbands. They don’t mastubate.
Heck, when someone is straight, they just don’t ever have sex. They leave the reproduction of bastard children like yourself to weird rituals and blood sacrifice to the devil. All other normal chidren are the reproduction of the sexually rampant homosexual people.
Incogman, I am impressed. You and your blog has truly been insightful. It has open my eyes to the world. I thought there could not be a man greater, more tolerant and smarter than George Bush himself, but it seems that I stand corrected. For this I thank you Incogman. Keep up the great work. I am sure you blog will continue to educate the youth of many generations to come and curb the productions of suicide bombers.
He’s not gay. He just likes to expose the seedy underbelly of the world of deviant sexual behavior. Maybe he does derive some small pleasure from writing about boys and dogs engaging in fleshly delight, and maybe it tickles him to think about a male member finding its way into another male’s mouth. But, does this make him gay? Do you think, as he writes about gay sex and bestiality, he’s picturing the activities he is describing? Maybe he’s naked when he writes it. Notice the many misspellings–maybe he’s typing one handed. Wow, I better not think about it. The more I do, the more I imagine he’s some 200 pound aging, white attorney somewhere, slapping his stick as he harangues gays and zoophiles for their nasty behavior. That is a nasty image. I have to go watch Baywatch now–to cleanse my mind of pudgy, white masturbation 😦
Yeah, all those waif like effeminate pretty looking boys raping all those tough middle american bikers. Must be tough being straight in prison. So much temptation… so sick.
What is wrong with you? Were you dropped when you were a baby and kicked around for fun? Those are terms used to describe intolerance and intolerant people and would not be used unless someone was actually committing those said acts of intolerance.
nooooooo, no no no no! please don’t harmo me, mr. homo! i am afraid and do not want to catch the gay!
i fucking rock because i have a gay JORDANIAN/MUSLIM friend. i trump all other white people.
fag
Nope, sorry, that doesn’t hold up for two reasons: The first is that a lot of trans-people actually have gay sexual attractions while taking hormones. It takes a lot of time to explain that one and I don’t think the purposefully ignorant will get it anyways…but the second is that once you say homosexuality has a biological explanation then you can no longer discriminate against gays.
Pick your totally invalid argument and stick to it: gays chose their “disgusting” lifestyle or they were born that way but we can fix them with science!
Two other things; an f-ing rainbow bumper sticker violated you personally and you can’t spell.
I do. You can never have too many white friends ;).
Have those scientist discovered how to cure genetic stupidity and human ignorance yet? I really hope they do soon, then perhaps you can start living life as a ‘normal’ human being then.
Platonic love and eros love are two completely separate things. Some of the comments here amazes me. I thought America was supposed to be an advanced first world country, but judging from the amount of ignorant and uneducated comments here, perhaps its only a facade?
You give your country a really bad name… and I thought George Bush was an anomaly, I guess someone had to have voted for him…
Great article.
Being a normal white guy I try to collect 1 of every type of person like baseball cards.
I never trade them because I lie to see the hunger in other white peoples eyes when I let it slip that I have a Mexican, Moslem, Asian, Homosexual, or even the rare Negro friend.
It’s like having more square footage in my house, or a bigger engine in my automobile.
I am seriously jealous.
I once had an obese homophobic Saudi Moslem friend!
I had two gay black friends in high school. Of course, where I grew up was 80% black, so I guess it was more likely.
If he’s cornholin, he ain’t mooslem. FYI :p
I would love to see the research on the cure for gays involving testosterone and estrogen. Did you read anything that described the maladies that can be caused by an imbalance of testosterone or estrogen?? That too much testosterone kills neurons. That too much estrogen in women can cause extremely heavy menstrual bleeding?
I have normal testosterone levels….as evidenced by my masculine appearance, facial hair, chest hair etc. I can assure you there is nothing deficient about me in the area of hormones. I would say that you are probably right there is something different in my body that makes me homosexual. A brain trait or difference in structure is probably more likely than a chemical imbalance. If it was as easy as a chemical deficiency don’t you think a cure would have been produced and marketed? I think your perception of how strong the gay “groups” are in influencing any kind of medical research breakthrough are troubled and distorted by the very ignorance that makes your entire argument laughable. If a drug company were to come up with the “cure for homosexuality” people…. parents….churchgoers…would pay billions of dollars to be sure their sons and daughters were not gay. Money drives everything. Never be fooled into thinking any group of individuals can impede the flow of billions of dollars into the pockets of a corporation.
If as you say, paraphrased, that gayness is like any other sexual deviance like interest in bondage etc. Should we focus our efforts on a cure for bondage?
I know that I will not change your mind, you have been influenced by outside factors that have made you feel that gayness is wrong and those influences are deep. Heck, maybe, there is a physical difference in you that makes you so not gay that gayness puzzles and disgusts you. I wonder if there is a cure for that? I bet the church “groups” have stifled any of that research. See how ridiculous that argument is now?
Well put. Any chance you want to be my friend?
you spent too much time thinking about this…wayyy too much time
Hrrm…trying to think about most of my straight friends….they are female. Almost all of them are female, or the boyfriend/husband of my female friends. They are not necessarily white, but hey, what can you do. :- p LOL this website is so ridiculous and funny!
http://www.artgonewrong.blogspot.com
SO is that one! And…
http://www.whyarentyougayhelpingme.blogspot.com
a good resource for white people in search of gay friends lol
wow this was funny..
once in a lifetime opportunity for black gay men with a child
LOL!!!
I have gay friends too! Nothing wrong with being gay. BUT I HATE ANAL!
http://stuffgodhates.wordpress.com/
I tried to read through the comments to see if I could find this already, but I really have stuff to do so here goes:
In the gay world the equivalent of this is gay people who “don’t have (a lot of) gay friends”. That makes you very cool if you are gay. also if you “don’t go to gay bars/clubs”.
I’m so overwhelmed by your terrible grammar (and lack of cohesive thought representation) that I can’t even begin to deconstruct your message–except, that is, to say that you’re clearly suffering.
I’m sorry that you grew up believing that you could never “come out of the closet”. It’s obvious that you’re projecting… and that what you “wrote” is really about it self hate. Love yourself, man. Don’t be ashamed! You’re gay… and you’re OK.
When you “come out” you’ll feel much better about yourself and the world. Unfortunately, you’ll still be really dumb and have inferior writing skills.
Best wishes, though!
I like your argument about it not being natural, simply because they cannot reproduce.
Does that means that women who have ovarian cancer/cysts should not be allowed marriage?
Or men with low sperm counts?
Or, hell, couples who just don’t want kids.
Reproduction is not the only factor in a relationship, and it’s certainly not a factor in love.
If reproduction marked a healthy, correct relationship, why are there so many abortions? Why are there so many divorces, even in families with children?
If you wish to take the route of extremes, then why not outlaw all marriage? You don’t have to be married to reproduce.
On another note, some 40+% of women have polycystic ovaries, which has been proven to cause a hormone imbalance.
Are all of those women homosexual, simply because their hormones are disproportionate?
Oh, how I wish.
ulterior motives or not I definitely have (white) friends who claim me as their token lesbian friend…doesn’t mean they don’t accept the gay community, it just means they enjoy having a bit of a trump card by proxy. I think any gay person who reads this will get a good chuckle.
“[…]and I thought George Bush was an anomaly[…]”
You don’t get it, Derrick. It was ‘Hire the Handicapped’ day.
Us white devils are cool that way.
Is this idiot seriously comparing what two consenting tax paying same sex adults are doing to a child being molested and people that violate animals.
The more gay men in the world the less compition for straight guys.
Seriously you would be better of doing something worth while …like feeding starving children…or on second thought maybe you should leave that for the gay people your busy hating. Skid
Your right. screw those educated white people and there stero typing of colored folk. I mean look at South Africa getting rid of aparthied so the blacks could run there own counrty into the ground and start a civil war is a pretty white thing to do.
How about all the white people rotting in american gettos drinking Bigbears chillin with there hoes and shooting eachother out in the streets.
Or all the white people in Rawanda chopping eachothers heads off with machetties.
Hell all those Africans in Africa dying of aids and leaving thousands of orpahan children is nothing compared to the gay white men dying in america. And piss on all these white doctors in Africa.
Pointing out the whitemans down fall and insulting those educated ones makes sense because the black, liberal, upper-middle-class democrats are out doing something productive with their lives.
Your right satire is funny.
I have a new pink dress and I just want to swallow all day, derrick you little freak ever play with hamsters?
Fuck you, you awful sick freak, I hope you and your jew friends get the chance to dance in an oven. Or at least swing from a rope!
Logan, thanks for trying to enlighten scolleymoldune.
Why is it that so many coastal types (at least 50% of the people posting on SWPL) have difficulty accepting that there’s culture to be found in flyover country in places other than “portions of Chicago?”
Nicely done! Just when I thought the fellow to whom you were replying couldn’t sound any more stupid, I read your well-thought-out comment full of proper spelling! Take care, my gay friend, I can’t wait to tell everyone I know.
Oh my God, I love this guy! Mister “manc” has upped my enjoyment of this site ten-fold! Three times now has he written nearly identical posts and three times has he been crushed mercilessly by my fellow fans. MORE! We want blood!
HAHA! Will you marry me?
I’ve noticed that I seem to dislike (hate/want destroyed…whatever) any persons who do not use local diction. Think about it the whole brother/ wigger jive, mary queen lisp two snaps ” Oh no you dih-int” flam-a-tude, Mustachioed false tenured Ed Grimly dike ( use your normal strident tone you fraud!), and yes the one you are ALLOWED to make fun of …the red neck voice.” Oh, those poor urban minorities… what’s that? White people in trailers in the mid-west… Fuck those honky/ cracker/ white trash, blah, blah, blahs. They brought it on themselves.” ( all racial pejoratives f.y.i. ).
Judging from some of the comments, it’s apparent that a number of ‘stuff white people like’ readers have no sense of humor whatsoever. Odd that they spend time reading a clever and humorous blog.
You say, “get some testerone injected into you”
If you inject a straight man with testosterone, he will behave more aggressively and think about sex with women more.
If you inject a *gay* man with testosterone, he will behave more aggressively and think about sex with *men* more.
We have enough testosterone, thank you very much.
Homosexuality is an abomination.
Seems the opposite of abomination is conformist, so the former works for me. ❤
Your illiteracy compounds your stupidity.
Find a rock.
Crawl under it.
Wonderfully put my blogging friend, just when my testosterone was getting the best of me (as ignorance sometimes does) your comment reassured me of levelheaded, logical, tolerant discourse. Thanks again and have a great day (or whatever kind of night you are orientated toward!).
Bring on the “FLAVA” !!!
I have read the entire thread here, discussing the homophobe’s comments (I suppose that we could come up with a more accurate term, but “homophobe” is what we’ve got and everyone knows what it means–if we really want to start cleaning up the language let’s straighten out “flammable” and “inflammable,” no one gets that right).
Sorry, just wanted to get in my white creds.
After all of that, I still think that Bolls McGavin hit it right on the head–he is totally hella gay.
Leave him alone, its posts on a THREAD, anyone can post,(thats what its meant for in case you didn’t know) and besides, its the content, not so much the grammar. Almost all of the replies and such that I’ve seen comment on his grammar…. Is his argument so good that that is all you people can comment on?
In case you didn’t know, gay people that have sex have problems defecating too, I don’t know how long down the road that happens, or if its after one time, but it does happen.
No…
It doesn’t negate your whiteness OR your humanity. Is that supposed to be funny? I don’t find it that way at all. If you wanna make an argument, then make one that doesn’t portray you as a gay-hating idiot. The only thing it negates is your manliness in most cases.
Seriously, lots of gay guys talk like women, or make feminine hand gestures.
I maintain that homophobia is definitely the correct term for what you are describing. I believe that deep down, your being uncomfortable with the idea of gay sex is because you are afraid of it. The fear is mostly based on ignorance, ignorance of what gays feel, ignorance of your own nature and what you might do if it was socially acceptable, and ignorance of where what you think are the logical consequences would lead yourself and our society. The bestiality example is also a key to this fear – I believe you fear that if the domino of homosexuality falls, then logically polygamy and bestiality will necessarily fall as well, and you will have no social stigma preventing your own suppressed urges from being expressed.
read some feminist literature today being pushed on unsuspecting university students. Many analyze the quest for the inner “bitch”. since bitch is a term for a female dog, many feminists lesbians analyze the human /animal attraction as an alternative to inter human relationships.
personally, though I believe you fear humor and if the domino of humor about homosexuality falls,then logically humor about polygamy and bestiality will necessarily fall as well, and you will have no social stigma preventing your own suppressed urges from being expressed.
If we can joke about conservative people , why not the liberal? in fact, if someone isnt offended, then it probably isnt very funny!
How are two consenting adults engaging in an act of sex at all comparable to a child and an animal? Several reasons. First, two consenting adults can choose to do things, and can agree at any point to stop doing it. They make a decision to consent to what they are doing and have the right to stop and start it as they choose. A child, according to the law, does not have the same ability to ‘consent’ in the legal framework. Second, the animal is not capable of consent. It cannot verbally say yes or no to something. You can never see an animal sign a contract for something because it is not an individual, it is not a citizen capable of making their informed decision. The fact that you somehow connect bestiality to homosexuality proves that indeed you are homophobic in addition to being totally incapable of any rational thought. The distinction between what two consenting adults in a civil society agree to do and a person and animal is so clear. I find it hard to believe that this distinction even needs to be explained to someone.
A rainbow violates you? How? Does the spectrum of colors displayed by a little bumper sticker or on a flag somehow cause you to convulse on the ground, foam at the mouth and do harm to yourself? Does the rainbow forcibly pin you down and penetrate you? No, it doesn’t. It is just the same as someone who is religious wearing a cross, slapping their little fish decal on their car, wearing a WWJD bracelet, praying in public. It is an expression of who they are, but most importantly, it is an expression of freedom, something Americans do have. That sticker will be on cars for as long as possible. Nothing is going to change that.
The simplest point is, if you don’t believe in homosexuality, or if you think it is wrong, don’t engage in it. It is that simple. Nothing compels you to engage in it. Those of us who are homosexual know that it is not a psychological condition. We are functioning human beings, and most importantly, we have been around since the beginning of society. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with us. It is who we are and will not be denied the pursuit of the rights that we deserve. Until then, and most likely far after then, we will take pride in who we are, as people.
Too bad Thomas is a hot man and was very attractive as a woman. If all trans people looked like 4-armed mutants it would be a lot easier to hunt them down and kill them for being freaks. How dare they be human…
Thinking about the blog, I’m sure that white people who collect gay friends are the kind who also think exposing their children to diversity means having schools carry books that have gay and lesbian main characters. Oh yeah, that’s going to piss off “the wrong kind of white people”.
Yeah, 1969 was when the Stonewall riots happened and homosexual and trans people decided that they weren’t going to be routinely beaten, robbed and raped by the police. Ah, the good old pre-pride parade, pre-AIDS days. The two are clearly related.
I love your logic that embracing homosexuality means that heterosexuals began having sex with homosexuals. Apparently before the 1970’s homosexuals were being denied sexual access to heterosexual people.
Bob thinks he has nothing in common with homosexuals. He doesn’t bleed when cut, need food to survive, wish to build a safe and respectful life with someone he is sexually attracted to, and can’t color coordinate his home and wardrobe. Unfortunately, Bob is also unaware of the homosexuals who he shares common ancestors and a neighborhood with.
No, no, Hingis, Jeff said he WANTS two women at once. He didn’t say he wants them to do anything to each other, just to him. I’m sure that if he got into a 3-some situation with two women (totally okay with God and the writers of the Bible I’m sure) and they started to kiss and please each other he would abruptly stop and say “Not in my house fags! And don’t you run off claiming that you want equal rights!”.
When are heterosexual men going to realize that one of the best ways to get two women together is to swing with another couple…
Is it possible that you never notice all the gay men who aren’t effeminate because well…they aren’t effeminate and are easily mistaken for heterosexuals? This is called the self-fulfilling prophecy; you think all gay men are effeminate so you only look for effeminate gay men.
You don’t seem quite as ignorant and hateful as some of the other posters so if you really want answers to your questions I’d recommend that you go to your local gay pride parade or another meeting/event (trust me, lots of straight allies do and no one hits on them if they are with their wife or gf) and see the incredible ranges that the gay and lesbian community have to offer. Rich, poor, butch, femme, Asian, Latino, very old and rather young.
And yes, some very effeminate gay men who also do drag queen performances sometimes identify as trans-gender women.
Right then; let’s get right on banning women past menopause from marrying because that wouldn’t be a “child-bearing family”.
I don’t usually call people names but…
Dumb. Fuck. Tard.
You are clearly confused by the comedy of this blog – there are some white people out there who feel the need to collect minority friends (probably to distinguish themselves from you) and the authors have taken the extra step of putting ALL white people into this category as ALL Mexicans speak Spanish and are Catholic, ALL Gays go to weekend orgies, ALL people on welfare are lazy and so on…
Yes there are still all-white neighborhoods in America, but generally if you are someone who is open to new experiences you don’t have to worry about collecting a diverse group of friends, it just happens. This blog is talking about how some rich liberals who lead all-white lives are going out of their way to distinguish themselves from other white people who turn their backs on diversity.
where do these white people exist? unless youre on the west coast, being gay is totally unacceptable. please, tell me how many white parents in the south want to spend time with any gays. thanks!
gay is hot sexy, in mouth dechk mmm 😛 *licks lips*
looks like that whitey has seen ‘paris is burning’
Americans really are strange judging by this load of utter twaddle.
What a twat. LOL; this type of idiot is a prime example of why democracy doesn’t work. Give idiots like this the vote? Yep, you get GW.
I rock and think that I have by far the most points. I have a black gay friend, a white and Indian gay friend. I also have a colored gay friend and a disabled gay friend. On top of that am I from Africa, I am white and I am fully bilingual in Afrikaans and English with the added bonus of being able to help myself in Xhosa, German, Dutch and now Korean( 나는 촌재이다!!!)!
You need to re-evaluate your thoughts, just tell me, where did gay come from, was it just made up? Did it just become?
I’m gay, black, jewish, and biracial !!! I’m like a freaking magnet for whites especially girls… even though some hit on me still.
People! stop being soooo serious about this, its a joke; there not being insulting. If anything this blog is like the truth. I know alot of (white) people who are like this, totally obessing about Japan and Paris; into cultures that aren’t theres, totally loving soccer but not know crap about it, etc… But like I’m alot of stuff too on here so its totally cool. Lets just have a laugh and chillout !!!
This message has been approved by the Gay Black Jew :]
you are not representing white dumb fucks very well, sir. anyway, I think your opinion would change if anyone in the world found you remotely attractive. that’s not to say I am going to be that person- my butt is reserved for the loudest, proudest, gayest and sexiest of us “fags”.
I would love to see proof of this. Some kind of scientific research maybe. Because as a gay man that has been having anal sex for quite some time I can say that I have never had problems defecating.
Actually, homophobe could be used to describe you quite nicely, because it is not just limited to the fear of homosexuality and homosexuals but also includes becoming uncomfortable by the thought of homosexuals or by being uncomfortable while in their presence. However, I prefer heterosexist to describe you. Heterosexism is defined as the belief that heterosexuals are inherently superior to people of other sexual orientations. At this point the argument leaves the realm of whether or not being gay, lesbian, or bisexual is appropriate and enters a new dimension, probably unknown to you, entitled humanitarianism. Gay people are still people… therefore they should be treated as such, with equality and respect.
So whether being gay is right or wrong is not up to you are any other individual to decide. And using religion as proof or an example does nothing. Religion is not absolute nor is any specific religion universally practiced so it can not be used as definitive proof of anything, except perhaps that something has at some point been written by someone.
Maybe you should check your spelling and grammar before you post a dumb-ass comment like this. Only because having improper spelling and grammar makes you look down-right special ed.
Yeah. Alexander the Great was effing Gay, and he was… well, great. I would even venture to say he was awesome. And have you ever heard anyone question the testosterone levels of effing Alexander the Great? No, no you have not.
If you determine “natural” by ability to have children, I need to ask some questions… Is an infertile man and/or infertile woman allowed to have sex? They can’t have a child. And we all know you can’t have a child with your hand and that porn mag you keep under your bed, right? So stop masturbating. Come on, you know you do it. According to your definition it’s not natural, so according to your views I guess you need to stop that unnatural act. Don’t be a hypocrite now- you best wait until you’re ready to have some kids. No one likes a hypocrite…
It’s also really great to make gay BLACK or perhaps hispanic friends…you know, to show just how much you can appeal to experiencing “double jeopardy”…just working in a psychological theorist (about counseling…really complicated if you haven’t read it yourself;) No seriously, love it.
Hey have you visited Black People Love Me? You guys kind of remind me of them…
I’m so glad everyone is embracing the concept of ‘gay friends’ … something I document in my online serial, whywelovethegays.com. Cheers! Lulu B.
I would sue your fat homophobic ass if I could trace you! “In some countries like India you can marry animals”?! Are you mad? God, do people like you really exist?
hahaha, i’m sorry but you’re just not white, you probably fall into the bible-thumping redneck category that most REAL whites love to hate.
sucks to be you man 😦
Lmao
Har-har-har! SO not gay – but you kinda relish typing out complete sentences detailing exactly what you can’t stand about gays. Is that your turn-on?
As in: “I hate gays to much the way they drink every drop of cum from throbbing penises that have just exploded all over my face… ooops!”
No – homophobe is NOT the right word. “Homo” will do just fine!
(snicker.)
I’ve noticed that I hate bad grammar and rambling sentences. Go figure.
Wow – you can’t write either.
What I want to know is – are all you guys who are so pissed off about gays just disappointed that this isn’t some extension of the Klu Klux Klan? I mean, the title IS “What White People Like” – maybe you thought it was full of kindred spirits and you could log on and bash people?
Sorry dude, but these folks are funny. So that makes you not only illiterate and mean, you’re a bunch of humourless pricks as well.
Tranny mess.
“homophobe” is the dumbest word ever – obviously created at some wiccan lovefest to denigrate those who are sickened by homopervs. Since I don’t like heavymetal music and thinks it’s retarded that must make me a ____phobe. See the ILLogic here?
Anyway fagpervs and the Askenazis that promote them
should consider changing the term from “homophobe” to “homokiller”, that makes more sense to me.
“Younger white people tend to prefer young, social gay people-this is their all important ticket into nightclubs and parties.”
omgz this guy knows everything about me.. every time i click a link i see some of myself in it. ALL IS LOST RUN TO THE HILLS MY WHITE BROTHERS!!!!!
more along the lines of quasi-white
you ought to spell/grammar check. it would at least make the argument less childish, it would look like a grown up wrote it.
IF HAVING GAY FRIENDS IS WHAT IT TAKES TO BE WHITE THEN I GUESS IM MUST BE BLACK OR SOMETHING!!!!
The biggest gay ever.
Black AND gay? That person would probably spend most of its time complaining about being discriminated against for twice as many things as either of the two in separate so don’t you think that a white person would then want them less? I mean really, who likes a complainer.
so you’re not a homophobe, you’re a home hater. ever notice in nature that there are animals that like all kinds of sexual behavior? news flash…we are animals…bummer you can’t enjoy all the spectrum of god’s expression in this regard.
how mentally ill must one be to have kids nowadays with the future predictions of famine, fuel, water, and other crises? breeding doesn’t make sense dude…get over your intellectualization of your homophobia and call it what it is. are you living in a homophobic closet? i guess that is an improvement over the bad old days when crackers like you lynched homos like me…
I’m having no trouble crapping all over your theory, however…This is total bs.
This is funny, these comments–
Dude, you’ve got this all figured out, you’ve really thought about this!
Why, in your straight little head, SIT there and figure out what to say “if they say, its about love and not sex, (blah blah choke, gag… i didn’t really read the rst of your BS)” and so on … ? This to me is weird; people are commenting on the article which is totally funny, and totally on point. You’re sitting here thumping your goddamn bible like a douchebag, TOTALLY off-point.
Why don’t you stick to the issues at hand, dude? You sound like a crotchety old man sitting in his beat up chair, barking about whats right and whats wrong. Or my dad. IN your opinion. (what a good one that is, btw… ) oh, that was sarcasm.
Who here thinks this dude has messed around with men in his younger years and got scared off by the crappy publicity gays get? HAHA go to hell man..
Ummm… and how does this relationship work? Does he put it in your ear? Having a gay BEST friend, I can understand, but a gay boyfriend? Isn’t that confusing for you?
HAHAHA I know about 4 straight dudes who told me they like for their wives and gf’s to play with they ass during sex. PW don’t be skurred. You know you enjoyed it.
Yes, we’re another race asshole. Keep on thinking this, you’re making the world more tolerant. WTF is wrong with people.
Hmmm one of my best friends has OCD. She is fun to watch. But it really becomes insulting if I put my drink down on the “wrong spot” on her coffee table. Or if we’re smoking a joint. I’ll lose the TINIEST piece of ash, and the girl has to clean up her whole room again. Top to bottom.
None of this is true for me. I know nobody who is like that. The white girls I know where regular nice clothing, not kimonos or saris (whatever that is) The only girls I know wear coach bags or some shit. Not ones made of long grain fuckin rice! HAH
All my friends know I’m gay and they know me enough that they dont have to say “Not to sound homophobic or anything….” before they speak. All my friends are entitled to their own opnions and I’m not gonna bitch down their throat if they say something out of line. I’ll probably laugh. Life’s too short.
UUmm… this IS quite sad and sorry. A little sickening as well. And I’m sure you join right in dude.
If having gay friends is a benefit, then consider moving to California, where same-sex couples were granted the legal right to marriage a couple of days ago! This is a great time to live in California, and I hope equality can reach some other states as well!
http://www.whyarentyougayhelpingme.blogspot.com
People, people, lighten up.
If you’re gay, you’re gay. If you’re not, you’re not.
It’s really okay.
Get over yourself and keep your shovel in your own dirt.
Who someone finds attractive is none of your business, unless that person is you.
I say I’m a FAG, and I’m proud to be who I am. If you don’t like it, that’s okay with me; just keep your bile spewing hatred to yourself.
Don’t get so “cocky” Pillow-biter, since it’ll be another 30 days before it goes thru — that is if it’s not stopped by efforts of decent Americans.
You think it’s just so “darling” to subvert the 25 million plus voters who were against it in 2000, do you? We’ll remember your vile little celebrations.
Oh, and you would like to see this vileness spread to other states, I bet. Sick mofos.
Go here and read more about this sick travesty on America:
http://incogman.wordpress.com/
My children,
I feel its time I throw you all a bone (*cough cough* incogman et al *cough*) –
YOU ARE NOT ON THE GUEST LIST! *SNAP*
Upon further review I have decided to toss yet another divine bone:
Sure, I could’ve shown up in 2000 for your little ‘end times’ but really, and I mean this whole heartedly, your insanity and your conviction are just the most delicious recipe for eternal entertainment.
…Carry On!
I might renounce my divine prince-hood if you, Jessika, would gay marry me!
Yeah, like you have JACK to do with it, Pillow-biter. You can’t even sit down right, in your chair as you type that, after your little sick trysting in some Motel room last night with a bunch of fat bald men from Toronto.
You’re disgusting little pig to have used Jesus’ name like that.
You’ll be the one burning in hell for eternity and it’ll people like me will be the ones sending you on.
Got that, Homo?
http://incogman.wordpress.com/2008/05/16/sickos-celebrate-homo-marriage-in-commiefornia/
HOW DARE YOU SIR! Toronto! HOW DARE YOU!
OK, wherever that slimey rock is at, that you crawled out from.
Everybody! Read this on the Homos and how wacked-out they are on this Commiefornia Marriage thing:
http://incogman.wordpress.com/2008/05/16/sickos-celebrate-homo-marriage-in-commiefornia/
Also, note how they are jacking-up our health insurance rates and putting all of us at risk to nasty-ass diseases like the new one from the homo world: USA300, the flesh-eating bacteria.
These homos are both nasty and ridiculous.
What??? Are you serious? Please do a little research before you make such a ridiculous comment about the African American community. Yes, some of us are a little over the top with our ghetto fabulousness (I’m not sure if that’s officially a word but will check my Ebonics dictionary momentarily) but we are in no way deaf to the hate of any group of people, particularly because of the injustices that we have endured.
As you pointed out, we have not been what you called “full citizens” for very long and even though people say “oh racism is dead” I can assure you it most certainly is not. Most African Americans have enough of their own problems to worry about – it’s hard enough just to get and keep a decent paying job (even with a Master’s Degree and almost 12 yrs of experience). In most cases, our philosophy is, “if you don’t bother me, I won’t bother you.” That doesn’t mean we can’t/don’t want to be friends with a gay person but we’ve got more important things to do than worry about sexual orientation (i.e explaining to my three year old daughter why a little white boy in her class called her a n*****, and explaining to my nine year old daughter why the little white girl is her friend while they’re at school, but won’t even speak to my daughter when she’s with her parents in the grocery store) You can rest assured, we’re not turning a deaf ear, we’re trying to survive.
Hell, Manc…
You sound like MY kinda guy. I wanna buy you a beer, wrestle you some, and then suck on your bone to its bristles.
Call me, ya big white Daddy!
Yours,
Chuck
You are awesome and right.
I do think having pride in who you are is a great thing. And I also agree that people like being with other people like themselves. But you are equating “being like oneself” with being white, and this is an asinine comparison. I’m African-Canadian and 90 of 97 posts on here describe me.
Of course my friends are like me as well, but they are a diverse bunch, not exclusively white, black or Asian. I do need some South Asian friends though.
Keep in mind the creator of this website is a 20-something Canadian, and the idea was borne in his head when he was discussing the show “The Wire” with his buddy… who is Asian.
Well, I mean, I love this site but some of these comments are disheartening:( As a person in an interracial relationship, I will be the LAST one to pass judgement on whom someone should love or be in a relationship with, gay or straight.
I love white people and diversity! Viva la planet!
Haha, yeah. I work at a coffeeshop where about 75% of the baristas are lesbians. (My boss likes to hire based on personal references from her employees, and the lesbian community in Seattle is really tight-knit.)
I recently started a second job. The (straight, very white in the sense of this blog) woman who hired me thought she was being all hip and “tolerant.”
So when we’re trying to schedule my interview, I say at one point, “well, I’d rather not do it then because I’m going on a date over lunch.” (The date was with a man, but I didn’t feel it was necessary to say specifically who I was dating, so that’s pretty much all I said.)
Before the interview, she asks, “How was your date?” I say, “It was nice, we went out for sushi (ack I really am white!!), we’re going out again.”
Well… today, I had a meeting with this lady about payroll stuff and she says, “Are you still dating that person?” (I like how she said “person” instead of just saying something like “Go on any more dates lately?”) …. and I say, “No, not really, turns out he was really bossy, so I decided to stop dating him.”
The look of disappointment on her face was priceless.
Oh, PS, I should add for clarification’s sake that my new employer is a regular customer at the coffeeshop, and we met in that context… that’s why she assumed I was a lesbian.
WHAT?????
Ohhhhh, I am so getting sterilized so I’ll never have to deal with this crap.
are you Brad of Popham Beach parties ans Montreal to Boston rides?
I’d dare say that white gay people are the very whitest people.
Ha. So wait, a woman sucking a man’s cock is not gonna produce babies either. Sorry if you like getting head from chicks! It doesn’t produce children any more than gay sex does. Straight people have sex for reasons that don’t involve conception. Your argument is dead.
Also, phobia implies an aversion to the object at hand and you, sir, are most certainly homophobic. You are afraid of the existence of gays and what their having rights means for you, even though it means NOTHING would change for you.
And we wouldn’t have to demonstrate our sexualities and our “lifestyles” if people just accepted them. Rainbow stickers show pride in something that a lot of people – like yourself – find wrong or deviant or immoral.
Also, how is a consenting adult having sex with another consenting adult in any way promoting pedophilia, zoophilia or anything of the kind? It’s two consenting adults who love each other or are attracted to each other. Your argument still sucks.
In short, shut up.
I’m sure injecting testosterone into a gay male would never turn him straight. In fact, he’d probably develop gynecomastia and become more of a woman than you already thought he was.
Yeah, there is an interesting phenomenon that happens in society when someone with an opinion, an ability to post anonymously, and see the audience’s reaction. It’s related to the Tragedy Of The Commons, where people will degrade things left to the public if they feel there are no consequences to their actions.
So in the internet phenomenon, you take anyone with an opinion, their ability to post to some site(s) behind the anonymity cover of their ISP, add a lot of readers and you get ASSHOLES ON PARADE!
Most of us gay white readers with too many bumper stickers on our cars who buy fair trade coffee and love all-things-Apple find this site hilarious!
I love white people, I love fags, and I love people who love white people and fags! Yay interracial relationships, yay diversity, yay humor, yay laughing at ourselves!
Yay.
If no yay for you, so sorry, try again another time.
From Jack Johnson (oh yeah, white people love him and his music!):
“where’d all the good people go? / we’ve got heaps and heaps of what we’ve sown”
Live, love, laugh. Fuck ’em if they don’t like your plan; they’re wrong.
Yay.
Interspecies relationships may be best for all concerned…
Ya this is sooooooooooooo true. I’m black and one of my friends said he was gay so I was all “get lost fgt”
gay men are a pain in the ass (ouch)
lmfao, i lvoe gay ppl! espicially the ones at ht emake-up counter with the over-the-top make-up on.
but i’ve seen many of them, and all of them (so far) are black. ?
This guy is recockulous! Did he not just repeat EVERYTHING he said in his first post?
I am as masculine as they come, don’t have an inbalance of testosterone or estrogen in my body. I am gay. I am attracted to guys, not women. It’s not a choice. Never did I say to myself: hmmm well, I like guys and girls, but guys are more fun in bed and we relate better. I think I’ll just be gay.
This guy is clearly someone who grew up in a religious like atmosphere and isn’t exposed to anything but his views.
He even had to go on far fetched tangents to ‘attempt’ to get his point across (ie the muslim and animal fornicating parts).
These are the type of people I find hysterical b/c they really have no ability to analyze a situation, topic, or argument from different points of view.
I like to consider them a little behind on the evolution chain.
and i wondered who kept putting holes in the wall between the stalls at the beach.
Your vitriolic, hate-filled diatribes are indicative of only the most severe intellectual laziness. Your sources on MRSA s. USA 300 are distorted and scientifically incorrect.
Read the fucking abstract and leave the science to the professionals. Your hate-mongering is outdated and I eagerly anticipate the day you and your klan go extinct.
http://www.annals.org/cgi/content/abstract/144/5/309
Dipshit.
this blog should be renamed “what offshite, pseudointellectual jewish liberals from san francisco like”
edit: datz racisssssst
What’s wrong Pillow-Biter? Can’t get anyone to sodomize you tonight?
I got news for ya: People have had it up to here with your vile, sick behavior and diseases. Soon you’ll be going back into the closet or back under some slimey rock you crawled out from, you lesion-covered toad.
Is Moronic FAG and his BIG, FAT mouth still around? He left some lame comments on my blog that were just too funny with his complete stupidity like you see here above.
The guy is off in some La-La Homo world of his own making. Probably some squat little fat boy sitting on a dildo in his mother’s basement, as we speak.
White people!
This is NOT what real white people like. They sure as hell can’t stand the slimey Homos and the sick things they like to do. All acts that are breeding grounds for disgusting, dangerous diseases of all sorts.
Read that comment above about the holes in bathroom stalls. That’s right, they do that kind of thing in public places because it gets them off orally doing some stranger sicko.
They are ALL this way. Sickos of the most foul imaginings possible.
Come to my blog and liberate yourself from the PC Bull that these sick slimes are always yapping away about.
http://incogman.wordpress.com/
Hey, I’m sorry I posted on your blog. I honestly thought it was sarcasm. Your site is so extreme, I thought no real person could harbor that much intense ridiculousness, and you were making fun of the viewpoint you profess to have.
I thought you were being clever. I was wrong. Oops.
Hey, I’m white and I like having gay friends.
There’s one counterexample, so basically it’s — “case not proven, case dismissed!” (Monty Python’s Flying Circus)
And yes, some of my non-gay friends are a little too smitten with having me as a friend. It’s like our friendship is a token or proof of how open-minded they are.
It’s funny because it’s true!
Unlike some others, who are apparently humorless. Oh well, they’re funny too, they just don’t know it!
We can be such curious creatures, humans — so righteous about some idea that we become parodies of ourselves. It’s sad — either that or extremely funny!
***LOL***
Ha… Well, incogman, looks like you got burned. If that’s the best you can come up with – “slimey rock/crawled out from” (not to mention slimy. SLIMY. Not slimey. What good is an insult if you can’t even use it properly?) has already appeared more than a few times in your astoundingly ignorant, hate-mongering blog – you don’t have too much to work with, eh?
Plus, Jesus just un-invited you. Which is awesome.
This has nothing to do with white people. It’s about liberals that are also are overly socially self righteous (not unique to liberals, btw), and people from the middle and upper middle classes.
Practise your logical reasoning skills with this one – because most upper middle class people are white, are most white people upper middle class? If so, why are whites receiving more welfare than any other groups in this country?
And now thousands of white people seem to be going crazy about this site. This is so weird. Like an interactive Family Guy marathon in blog format.
“Practise your logical reasoning skills with this one – because most upper middle class people are white, are most white people upper middle class? If so, why are whites receiving more welfare than any other groups in this country?”
Could be because they (white people) are in the majority…
It’s ‘PRACTICE’… and ‘self-righteous’. And the first sentence should go as follows: ‘This particular subject is more specific to liberals in general then white persons as a whole’.
https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/12/99-grammar/
😛
Gay people are very artistic and therefore are liked by many, more examples at http://www.revoint.com
Fuck you, incogman.
Hey, after I pummel the shit out of you, how about I slit your throat and fuck the hole with my dick? Then it won’t be sodomy, so you won’t mind, right?
I could be mistaken but you don’t seem like you are a very nice person. Maybe it is because you haven’t accepted Jesus as your lord and saviour.
than
I wish I had a gay friend.
Nice is overrated.
Please know I am joking. Im not even christian and Im always suspicious of “nice” people.
I am a gay friend!
I hate faggots. They should all be murdered, starting with Gordon Brown, the wanker.
What scares me the most is that instead of doing something like check your email- you’ve become so fearful of gays that you deem it worth your time to post hatred on a website that doesn’t condone violence against human beings.
Actually, it’s about the specific segment of self-righteous, liberal, upper and middle class people that are white.
“I hate faggots. They should all be murdered, starting with Gordon Brown, the wanker.”
“Hey, after I pummel the shit out of you, how about I slit your throat and fuck the hole with my dick? Then it won’t be sodomy, so you won’t mind, right?”
Uhm, suddenly nice (notice the lack of quotation marks) ranks even higher in my book. Seems like Fargo redux, ableit on a micro level.
Yeeesh.
Robert
What tough SOBs. Hey, be careful lads! Someone on the net might read your posts and… Respond critically to them!!!
A) This website was intended for humor.
B) Your use of statistics is poor at best. White people constitute only about 1.5% more of welfare recepients than black people. (37.6% of Welfare recepients are white, while 36.1% of Welfare recepients are black). However, white people constitute nearly 60% of the US’s population while blacks only constitute about 12%. Therefore, black people are dispoportionately more likely to receive welfare…nearly 5X more likely.
C) I’m white, and I like statistics.
THIS SITE IS HUMOROUS. IT’S WRITTEN BY WHITE PEOPLE MAKING FUN OF THEIR OWN RACE. FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHEN DID EVERYONE START BEING OFFENDED…which white people love, to be offended
Native San Franciscan. It’s just always been a fact of life. Still don’t see what the big deal is.
fucking gay pride so what if you are gay why do you have to shout it off of rooftops, have parade, straight pride huh never her a peep i wonder why who cares your straight or gay just don’t wanna think of the man-man butt lovin deown the hearshey highway or the salty sees ahr captain need some extra seaman on the poop deck and butt pirates of the sparrowbian this is just more prove of the effects of alchahol you don’t like my grammer than rewright the damn thing yourself
sorry the booze comment meant the unfocused wrighting
kinda like you are doing did you pat yourself on the back after writing this feel better now now go back to watching gay porn
can i sodomize u like u really like easy to make threats with someone online u don’t know
are you drinking a white russian
you incogman .. you are a suck son of a bitch and you just need to go fuck your self with a big rusty rod so maybe you will get a diseases in our ass and die … you are just like a Nazi … just listen to yourslef
wow. this entry must be strictly talking about white, extremely progressive folks because most of these comments are exclusively anti-gay and hate-filled. I guess I’m not surprised. It’s still ok to hate gay people.
Goodness – where do I start with you?
First, I’ll say you speak as if your opinion and beliefs were facts, when they are not. Kinda like folk who believe what that ol’ Bible says are facts. It’s not. It is just a big book filled with many stories passed down through the generations (originally verbally, as not many people could read and write 2000+ years ago) and even the written Bible has been translated and re-translated from language to language – each translator adding and subtracting parts of the stories. What the Bible says and relates are just stories that have been retold for millennia, but they are NOT fact, and if you base your life on them, look to them to see how you should treat other people, you’re more than a little foolish. That Leviticus guy, whose words were changed when his story was translated into English by the way, also said don’t eat shellfish. Does every gay hater who uses that to back up their prejudice also never eat lobster, clams and other shell fish?
As for gay sex not being ‘natural’ – why? Because it doesn’t make babies? Does every ejaculation require it produce a baby? What about masturbation? Not generally any babies there. Sex feels very good, generally speaking, and I can say, as a married gay man from Massachusetts, that it is part of how I relate with and feel close to my husband. I very much enjoy feeling good, and making my husband feel good too. It certainly feels very natural to me. If not for you – fine. Don’t have sex with other men. No problem.
Bringing in the cases of multiple wives and boys with non-human animals are totally unrelated to me being married to the man I love. He is only 1 other person, I am not asking for multiple husbands, and he was able to say “I Do” at our wedding, and know what he was talking about. Not something a non-human animal could say about his/her relationship with a human boy, no matter how fond this animal was of him. You are constructing childish arguments to “prove” your prejudiced point.
As for the Swedish scientists, wow – where did you hear that? I read about Swedish scientists who had found some parts of the brains of gay men were similar to the same parts of the brains of heterosexual women, as parts of the brains of lesbians were similar to the same parts as heterosexual men. Nothing about hormone therapy to ‘change’ a lesbian into a heterosexual. And, wouldn’t that be unnatural anyway? Would that lesbian need weekly hormone shots to keep her natural state away? Why not let her be who she is? Why does the world need to re-shape itself to make you comfortable? Trust me, I am a very happy gay man, very much in love with my husband, and I would never want to be shot up with hormones to change my feelings towards him. My love is not about the sex so much anyway, so changing my sexual desires would not change my love.
Seems it would do you good to meet some gays and lesbians you could talk to, spend some time with, see most people who are not heterosexual are not weirdly different that heterosexuals, we’re just attracted to members of our own sex. We laugh, we cry, we pay taxes, we eat, we fall down, we get up, we’re much the same as you.
Just, I don’t think, not so fearful of those who are different than ourselves.
Be Well.
STRAIGHT PRIDE! I’m going to start my own damn parade!
You are a very scary man…
I know, right? I was simultaneously amused by it’s absolute ridiculousness and terrified by the Turner Diary likeness of the blog!
Flesh eating bacteria? Well, now I’ve changed my mind…good lord…
Ha!
Yeah the straight parade is called “EVERY PARADE IN AMERICA!” You’re one of those silly gooses who get angry at Black History Month and say, “Why can’t whites have a history month?” We do! EVERY MONTH is white history month. Just open an American history textbook and compare the amount of perspectives from white males and all others.
Yeah the straight parade is called “EVERY PARADE IN AMERICA!” You’re one of those silly geese who get angry at Black History Month and say, “Why can’t whites have a history month?” We do! EVERY MONTH is white history month. Just open an American history textbook and compare the amount of perspectives from white males and all others.
straight up
silly goothse
The error in your logic revolves around the theory that there is an implied white history month every month, when in fac there is one month every year explicitly reserved as black history month, but that’s another argument.
I have many gay friends, but not very many black friends – I guess I didn’t draft the way white people are supposed to.
so true!!! we LOVE helping each other move!!
I think Inkedpolyglot is displaying one of the other major things white people like: Being Offended.
How long has he/she been waiting for this moment, rehearsing exactly what he/she is going so say?
ZING I love this site!
Seriously, a straight parade? That would be so boring. Honeslty, it’d probably just be a glammed up fire truck parade with a local celebrity (possibly from the local news!).
I do think this article is right, I am gay. When people found out, reactions were various. I was dating this guy at the time and this girl went to dinner with us and she kept going on about how brave we were. Why is it an issue, honeslty?
But we do know how to party.
i hate blacks jews spicks and faggots but esspecialy chinks…..but esspecially white people
I personally only draft rapists.
This one is stupid since most gays (in North America at least) are white. This article seems to imply whites are not gay, so perhaps the author needs to exam his prejudices.
It has also been my experience that most whites befriend any minority group before befriending blacks, but that most minority groups have the same preferences. Blacks seem have gotten what they wanted, left alone.
Tamara
This is so funny:)
I agree about Black History Month, we only get one month to celebrate our positive accomplishments – you guys do it all year long even when the accomplisments are not really yours but “borrowed” from someone else’s culture. Oh your entire culture is borrowed from some………………
I’m sorry to hear black folk only think to celebrate their supposed accomplishments when white folk give them a month to do so. Apparently the slave mentality lingers to this day. It’s tragic, really, because intelligent beings would have risen above it by now. Well, enjoy your little month. Who knows? Next year we may reduce it to black history day, or maybe even black history minute. Maybe, we’ll just tell you to drop the whole thing altogether since there are so few of you who have actually done anything noteworthy–and bitching and moaning about the past is not an accomplishment.
Now, run along, little pixie, and go sing and dance at church while the adults go to work.
Are you saying that every parade in America has something to do with where you put your genitals. I thought a parade was just a parade. I didn’t know we put so much imphasis on how the paraders get their rocks off! And you meant silly geese, right?
best comment ever. proves the pwnage of this site ❤
This website should be changed to stuff white LIBERALS like. I’m proud to say that I don’t like or do about 90% of the crap on here.
So true. So much of this article is so erily true. My gay friend Danny Xavez is also one of my few Mexican friends– and hes from compton and thought he was black until grade school.
Then your not white, just living a lie…
You’re probably one of those people who take The Colbert Report seriously – and that’s scarier than anything you can point out about liberals.
It’s also kind of amusing that most dumb-ass right wing Americans confuse liberalism with left wing ideology. Read a book once in a while…
This post reminds me of that South Park episode where all the guys became metrosexual, and started a parade, chanting, “We’re here! We’re NOT queer! …But we’re close. Get used to it!”
Touche! : )
He’s scary, but public restroom sex is not?? Hmmm…
“vitriolic?”… “diatribes?”… “indicative?”… hate-mongering?”… gee, I think you forgot “pedantic” (and something tells me you won’t even have to look that up)
No argument with you about incogman’s obviously hateful perspective, but still, lighten up just a little…
Oh, how great it must be to still believe exactly what you were taught in church as a five year old child. Never to have to question anything or think for yourself. How blessed your life must be! It’s all black and white, or straight or gay, in your case, isn’t it? What else isn’t natural in your little world, manc? Interracial relationships? That kind of craziness might mean that white people aren’t quite as white as they think they are? HORRIFYING!!
As several more intelligent people have pointed out since your original post, your arguments are seriously flawed. And it’s hilarious to me that you spent so much time constructing them only to have them ripped apart like the flimsy excuse for a man that you are. But even funnier is the thought that you are reading this and shaking your head in furious, small-minded disagreement, trying to convince yourself that you are right. But the sad truth is that you probably don’t even have to convince yourself – you truly believe it due to your ignorance and the brainwashing you have been subjected to all your life at the hands of bigoted church leaders and family members.
I am a happily married, heterosexual, white woman who was raised as a Southern Baptist. And yes, I have several friends that happen to be gay. But their gayness is not what attracts me to them. One’s sexuality is only one part of who they are. My friends are my friends because they are compassionate, loving, funny, generous, and OPEN-MINDED. I really feel badly for the man or woman you end up with. They will be chastised for disagreeing with you, and your children will be brought up in such a way that your ignorance will be propagated into the new generation.
All jokes aside, please take some time to educate yourself on other religions and lifestyles. You might be surprised and even delighted with what you find. Maybe you too can truly become white by finding some good gay friends! 😉
“You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”
– Anne Lamott
Well, it is called “Stuff White People Like”, not “Stuff Crackers Like.” But when the blog gets entries on wife-beating and incest I’ll let you know!
it doesnt imply that at all
it just mentions the “bonus” to have a non white gay friend
EXAM THAT!
your all gay
Larry Burns sux!!!! please say the next line in a hick accent…”This website should be changed to stuff white LIBERALS like.” Come on Larry and all you other close minded republicans….it’s going to be ok;-)
LOL, when I was a skinhead (yup, a Mexican skin, in a group of white and black skins, not SHARP fags though) we would go gay and paki bashing. Oh, youth…
This site should be named “stuff GAY white people like”
My lover and I love this site. We read it while I am taking it up the ass from him.
But you should cross off Rugby. That is too aggressive. I mean all the touching of each other is cool and all, but its to George Bushy for us.
Love and Hamsters,
Rob Campbell
New Castle, DE
retro10@aol.com
Or maaaaaybe white people were friends with the gay person before they came out, and actually like them for their personality?
or maybe this entire site is meant to be a joke and people need to chill the fuck out and stop responding to these posts as if they were serious attacks on their integrity as white people. these comments are far more hilarious than the posts are (and the posts are pretty fucking funny) because of how unbelievably offended everyone gets. peace it out. damn.
Or maybe the white people were gay from the beginning and pretended they didn’t know that the gay guy wasn’t straight.
I take it that this was before you realized that you were a gay Pakistani, right? That must’ve been rough.
hi how are you are ok
or maybe this entire site is gay and the people responding to the posts didn’t know it was gay until someone was unbelievably offended by the serious attacks on their integrity.
Telling people about your uncles, (as in “I hung out with my uncles this weekend”) would trump having a gay minority friend. This way you can show how progressive you are because you not only have a gay relative but you recognize the solemnity of his relationship in an authentic manner as opposed to those who would be little couple by calling them partners.
I resemble that remark.
Let’s unveil the Red State part of the List:
1. Camo.
2. Furtively giving the IHOP a quick “demographic scan” before telling a joke.
3. Neighborhoods with no sidewalks.
4. A left-turn light in front of the SuperCentre.
5. Bumper stickers
…(oh, that’s already on the list, but the entry doesn’t include stickers like “Poor = Lazy” or “Drill Here, Drill Now” or “America Bless God”)
6. 50-mile commutes
7. Home-schooling in a good school district.
8. Israel (but not the actual Jews!)
9. Hot sauce collections
10. Stockpiling canned food, in case the pre-millinnealists are right, not the post-millinnealists….wait, let me go check my Hal Lindsey library.
11. Pregnant white teenagers (not the other kind of pregnant teenager)
12. African immigrants (if they follow the right religion) as examples of industriousness and modesty.
13. Federal funding from another region’s tax base.
14. Shopping centers that are less than 3 years old.
15. One-piece underwear (in Utah, mostly)
16. Things that require big trailers
17. Trampolines
18. Race (not that kind, I’m talking about the Kentucky Derby, Daytona 500, etc)
19. Rude staring.
20. Pronouncing “One nation under God” as “One nationunder God”
21. Hockey
22. Baseball
23. The Boston Celtics
24. Cherry-picking MLK quotes about hard work
Just light up
satan damit gay people i just way to gay
OMG, you are so funny! That is what my friend thought the book was about and handed it to me in the bookstore, then she realized it was a joke on her instead!
It seems to me that most of the references on this blog are less what white people like and more what liberals like, i can think of many white people, actually most white people especially outside the metropolitan area that do not like any of this stuff…. gay friends for instance would be on the top of that list…not that there’s anything wrong with it of course
You are, of course, right again.
That’s why I befriended myself.
Well he referenced “cool” white as mentioned with “girls with bangs” and most of this list.
gay people usually don’t like me once they find out I’m not interested…or interesting.
Yeah what’s up with that? When people find out I’m gay, they want to be friends before even knowing me. It’s either that or they hate me right away because their ignorant. I’m a bit freaked out by it.
love this comment haha
Oh my God… take a joke! I’m white too and I thought it was hilarious.
“because their ignorant.”
I find this amusing.
Fred Phelps, is that you?
The majority of comments on this blog depress me about the future of humanity!
haha. i love it. one person agrees with the “having gay friends” stereotype only to be followed by the stereotype of “correcting grammar.”
“If you follow this simple rule, you should be able to maximize all benefits of white friendship including assistance in moving and free drinks.”
This whole blog is hilarious, but that shit made me laugh out loud.
i have tons of gay friends. probably just because we have a similar sense of humor.
Haha, your sense of humor is gay.
wow I’m disillusioned . . . I always thought they were just being nice.
Can you do a post on “Free Speech when it does not clash with other White PC Standards”
Ha!
I had a gay friend once, when I found out he was gay, I shot the fucker.
They make pills for your problem.
My best friend is part black, part Native American, and gay. I win!
However, I am neither straight nor white, and we both vote Republican, so I guess I actually don’t.
The gay pride parade in Vancouver is one of the biggest televised civic events in the city. Politicians are tripping over each other to be in the parade and the sidewalks are lined up with strollers and kids …
… most of them white.
Vancouver’s great (except for the junkies of course, who are also mostly white).
really?
ha! meta-thinking!
(is that on the list? it certainly ought to be)
WE DO NOT LIKE BEING FRIENDS OF GAY “PEOPLE”. THAT’S BULLSHIT FUCKING RACIST CUNTS. GO OUT AND CUT OF YOUR COCK AND THEN SUCK IT. FUCKING RETARDS. peace
Keep track of all of them, like an inventory, so that when someone says you’re not “open” or “accepting”, you can rebuke by yelling “I have THREE gay friends, TWO black friends, FOUR asian friends, and ONE who I’m not sure about… BUT HE’S NOT WHITE and HE’S BEEN IN MY HOUSE!”
I sort of know an Asian guy who knows an African guy who knows an Indian girl who likes an Eskimo girl, but I don’t have any gay friends myself.
I have been told I have a queer sense of humor. Does that count?
HEY MORON OR MILF WHATEVER,
GAY PEOPLE DONT LIKE RACIST BIGETS!!!!! WHY DONT YOU GO DIG UP HITLER AND LICK THE DUST SPOT WHERE HIS, AS YOU WHITE PEOPLE SAY ‘COCK’ USED TO BE, AND SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!
Lol, I like the “peace” at the end. Such an ironic parting word ^_^.
You should learn to spell, or at very least learn to copy and paste your comments to a word document and allow a computer do it for you.
Gay people are all Calvinists.
Gay people are all Calvinists.
There are more white people receiving welfare because there are more white people period. Duh, stupid.
But everybody likes spelling!
It’s “bigots.”
“HEY MORON OR MILF WHATEVER,
GAY PEOPLE DONT LIKE RACIST BIGETS!!!!!” – bigggurlluv
“DIG UP HITLER AND LICK THE DUST SPOT WHERE HIS, AS YOU WHITE PEOPLE SAY ‘COCK’ USED TO BE, AND SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!” – bigggurlluv
Wow… unless you’re white AND gay, you are the biggest damned hypocrite every. Lolz, rotflcopter.
This would be even funnier if Christian were black, himself.
I don’t mind having a gay friend as long as they aren’t physically or emotionally attracted to me. But I don’t go around looking for gay people to be my friend. The guy who made this website just couldn’t think of enough to hate white people for.
I guess that I pick my queenish friends based on what they bring to the table as people, not what they can offer me in the way of “diversity” Pull your head out of your ass!
I once had a friend who was a gay aboriginal obese orphan. Do I win? But he dropped me when I came out.
I love White people! I love gay people! I love the people who get all serious and start cursing and crying because they read something they dont approve of on this site. I love the people who think its all so serious. I dont like Republicans… 😦
That DOES count Mike. Welcome!
That is a stupid comment. Not liking Republicans.. Jerk… We don’t like you either..
I do not like Republicans, either…
Which is why you read this stuff…
Well then it’s mutual, bigot. If not, speak out against your party’s bigoted platforms. What’s to like?
Oh what nice qualifiers. Hitting on you might make sense, but I imagine people are attracted to others that aren’t attracted them all the time. You probably are flattering yourself too much.
What are you yelling for Jethro?
I’m pretty sure they don’t like you because your not interesting. Believe it or not, gay people don’t want everyone to be interested in them. We like to have friends just like real human beings, you ass.
You’re right Lalitha – let’s see, what do conservative white people like – class warfare, people who look exactly like them, oppressing others who don’t worship the way they do, shoving their values down everyone else’s throats, guns, and taking away gay people’s rights to have legal families. Oh yeah, now I remember why we don’t like conservative white people.
Is this one English?
You mean like in beer?
I’m not offended, I just LOVE an easy target. Put that bullseye on your chest, and I’ll shoot away.
That’s hilarious.
Straight people only like gays as long as they’re funny and/or handsome. (Mentally) Handicapped, ugly or poor gays apparently do not exist 😦
If you have to mention Hitler or the Nazis in an argument, you are almost always on the losing end of it.
Oh my! You all take yourselves a little too seriously. I’m pretty sure that the website is just for fun. Like, we’re all poking fun at ourselves, right?! I think TJ’s post got it right.
We only thought “(Mentally) Handicapped, ugly, or poor” gays did not exist… this is, until you got a hold of a computer.
im white and gay and i don’t like other gay people
I think it’s about time people start taking gay and lesbian issues more seriously and less lightly. Just because things appear to be “fun” and it may not be offensive to you as a white person, consider what it might be like for a gay person to read this blog and be considered a minority prize to be ranked and won…
Personally I think many postings on this site are extremely offensive and disgusting and it is time others open their eyes.
I think most gay people would read this and recognize that some weird individuals like to have a few gay friends for these exact reasons. Those weird individuals (who have to have a diverse group of friends and count them with their fingers) are worth making joking about.
I like republicans, and gay people, and liberals, and also gay people.. but I do not like Rosie O’donell. she’s really gay..
read white people like to feel offended ha.
I’m white, I’m gay and I don’t like ANYBODY! (Especially people who can’t laugh at themselves. Or who feel the need to be outraged on behalf of others.)
Dogs and donkeys make better companions.
And they’re not full of sh*t.
Oh… actually, they are; and it gets all over your boots.
But I LOVE this site!
All straight people as myself have gay friends…they just may not know it yet.
The real crime lies with the lesbians. There is nothing wrong with being lesbian. The only down side is when they shave their head and stop wearing bras and start wearing coveralls to be masculine. Why can’t they all just be like in the pornos?
Bad spellers and Hitler suck!
True but who are we to judge what white people like. As a minority (Scottish/German), I observe many elements that a minority would want when they first arrive on this continent full of white people. Minorities want to be close to their own kind, since we see difference between us and your so-called ”white people.” The issue here is that we’ve already established ourselves different from our opponents. Long rant short, as minorities – we are reactive racists compared to white people (which in this case makes them proactive racists, the true dictionary racists in most of our minds). And we continue to be prejudiced towards white people because we faithfully believe that they believe they are better than us (minorities).
Consider this case – a black child, an Asian child, and a white child meet for the first time in their life at the play ground. Most argue that children are innocent, but we are truthfully blown away by our differences. Most want to believe and do believe that children know nothing better about differences. We are but children on the same faithful playground and the playground is this planet we live in. It is better to accept our differences than trying to understand our differences before we head off to the monkey bars.
I’m white, and I say these things are true. Gays look good on your resume.
You might not be doing it right. I like the picture, incidentally.
if you are scottish/german you are white, not a minority
seriously, this is not meant to be something taken completely as gospel and that must apply to all white people. It is tongue in cheek, observational humour. If you try to read too much into it, you’ll never get it! It’s just poking fun. And being a girl with bangs who likes facebook and HATES people standing still at concerts (all topics on the blog) I’m not offended.. it’s funny! Not all of it is true for me, but I can see the point in most of it! Have a laugh.. and if you don’t find it funny, find something that is more up your alley.
You’re pretty much as white as it gets. And you never really finished your playground metaphor.
YAWN, even your short rant was long enough for me to lose interest halfway through
get a sense of humour
gays ARE fantastic
wow.. i worte ‘gays ARE fantastic’
and got this message…
Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that!
I bet you any money the guy who posted the above comment is white. I swear I only hear white people say this kind of stuff.
Also, every culture is borrowed. It’s not like culture belongs to anyone specific. Are black people borrowing a culture when they drive their SUV down the street talking on their cell phones? These things were invented by white people. Do we say Chinese stole white culture when they became Communist? Do we say white people steal Mexican culture when they eat at Taco Bell? Show me one culture outside the isolated Amazonian bush that is completely original.
hmmm missed the mark on this one. On the money on pretty much every thing on the list. But I’m a white guy and gays are so 2004. Now they are just annoying. That over the top flamboyant shit is so tired. Or the other extreme – the KD Langs at the Home Depot on Saturday mornings that give me dirty looks for no reason. Hey don’t hate me cause I have a penis and you don’t.
It is 2008/2009 for fucks sake. Do what white heterosexuals have been doing for ages and get a frigg’n room.
Seconded. White is a skin color. Not a nationality.
So true! I dont know if anybody noticed this, but If you were to encounter a hetero boy or girl at a club/event and they automatically threw themselves at you and (forgive my stereotype) ranted about how hot or “fabulous” you were then you may think they were desperate, socially inept, or weird. But when a gay person meets you and there’s this “OH my God, instant connection, let’s dance baby!” encounter it’s considered normal. Like, if I reject thier friendship that makes me homophobic?
It shows you’re not blinkered, because if you can’t name any friends of yours who are gay, it means 1) you don’t know that gays are everywhere, or 2) your gay friends can sense how homophobic you are and won’t come out to you.
I see girls doing that all the time. And although I don’t respond to that type of interaction, its not desperate of socially inept, its feminine.
obviously homophobic you heterophobe
It’s hilarious. But actually many Asian people (I’m talking about east Asia，China, Japan, Korea), it is also very popular among the youth to claim that they have gay friends. Luckily as I am, I have a cousin who is a gay and we are very close.
“…people who are, for all intents and purposes, exactly the same as them.” If only more straight people understood that, this setting would be a lot more cooler in more ways than this subject. And I’m not trying to score brownie points there).
this is funny and true 🙂
Funny and true. I’ve felt like a token friend (white, from the deep south) with people from more elite backgrounds on the E. and W. Coasts.
I’m a gay Canadian – wanna be my friend???
yuck
I tend to agree with/find [mostly] true the posts on this site, but this one not so much.
I believe it’s rather dependent on where you would claim to find these people that like “having gay friends,” as conservative communities probably would have very few people who like gay people at all, while progressive and/or liberal communities probably would be quite the opposite.
I attended (recently, graduated last year) a high school in a suburb of Phoenix, AZ (fairly conservative, lots of religious zealotry thanks to many Catholics, Mormons, etc.) where the scenario described above could not have been further from the truth. Being gay in a situation such as this was difficult, hearing “faggot”-this and “gay”-that whilst being reminded of the fact that these people are pure of heart thanks to their unyielding devotion to a few opportunistically-twisted sentences from their Holy Bible(s) and Book(s) of Mormon which thankfully permitted them to say these things without fear of reprisal.
In a school of 3,800+ students, I knew of probably three to five “out” students; I wouldn’t believe for a second that anyone (most certainly not “every white person,” this occurring in a mostly-white community) was clamoring to befriend these individuals as the “guilty by association” law was strong in force. As a matter of fact, most people I spoke to (including my close friends who did not know I was gay) oftentimes expressed how disgusted they were at the thought that we even had gays at our school. Bigoted parents with their bigoted religious beliefs lead to bigoted children, at least this is not surprising.
I’ve rambled on, but hopefully provided insight to those who otherwise would be mislead into believing that “white people love having gay friends.” Perhaps my situation was unique, but I very much doubt this.
Dude, you do realize that this is comedy don’t you? The author doesn’t mean a word he is saying. He is a COMEDY WRITER, like Seinfeld or Chris Rock.
To comment seriously about anything in SWPL is completely moronic.
When Seinfeld did the ‘soup guy’, did you and your friends talk about it in a serious way?
This is comedy, c’mon.
I’m gay and I love having White People friends. They are so much nicer and open minded than the Wrong Kind of White People or Ghetto Black People. Most blacks are openly and viciously homophobic.
I hate to say it, but I’ve fallen into this trap. Sad part is, I didn’t even like my gay “friends” that much. Not because they were gay, but because they weren’t that great of human beings. I’d still mention them anyway to impress really liberal “white” girls.
Thank you, author, for helping me to be less of a yuppie prick!
after reading stuff white people like i realize after 53 years im not white at all. this shit is so trite and petty
I love having str8 white people as my friends. I try to be accepting of their “alternate lifestyle”. Plus if I’m really, really lucky, I get to be the “token gay” at their parties.
I think I missed out greatly. I had the opportunity to befriend a gay Pueblo Indian. I think this trumps most ethnic gays but I may be wrong. If only I could stand him, I could be a god among white people.
HAHAHA Awesome. I’m starting an Excel spreadsheet to keep track right away. White people love making lists.
Oh, and I was the ONLY white girl in my math class in high school…set me up for life.
First off, I doubt that anyone gay or straight would even infer that you were hot or fabulous, let alone ask you to dance. Funny thing is that I essentially agree with what you’re trying to say, which is people who try to create instant bonds with strangers over nothing aren’t the kinds of people you want to be friends with. Whether they are gay or straight. As a gay person I have an issue with your implication that gay people are more prone to this behavior than straight people are. I propose that desperate gay people exist in the same percentages as desperate straight people. Your rejection of those friendships doesn’t make you homophobic, but your assertion that gay people initiate those sorts of exchanges does make you sound like an imbecile.
Those are the wrong kind of white people.
hihi
hi am jake i wanna have a gay friends if u want to be my friend cotact me on jake_ford20@yahoo.com or jake_ford20@hotmail.com
LMAO You are too funny. My bff’s brother is gay and I LOVE him. He’s so funny. And can also tell us if that guy we’re admiring is gay. Sweet!
And is that your bulldog in the header? He/she is adorable. I have one but she’s just a fatass.
The hypocrisy of white people is astounding. People feel they are so hip and tolerant if they are friends with gay people, as if these friendships make them better human beings. What a laugh! We are all in similar socio-economic classes and we mostly come from the same educational backgrounds.
My WWII vet father was friends with a gay man when he was in high school because he was taught, by his immigrant parents, we are all human beings regardless. And back then, it wasn’t “cool” or “hip” to befriend anyone who was odd in any way.
What would really shock me would be to see white people becoming real FRIENDS with the homeless, the uneducated, the truly poor. I don’t have any friends who fit in those categories.
Do you?
Are you white? Cause that WWII story wins the prize. I wish more people were like you.
There’s no such thing as ‘homophobia’.
Anyway, gays are gay.
You left out some important points when choosing your gay friend, if he is a man make sure is non-threatening (no leather or piercing please) he is witty – the second coming of Oscar Wilde is the ideal. He looks like you but has a nicer decorated home, (it must be in the genes) and can always give you advice on how to wear a dress of your hair (even if he a banker or has some other drone paper pushing job).
You left out some important points when choosing your gay friend, if he is a man make sure he is non-threatening (no leather or piercing please) he is witty – the second coming of Oscar Wilde is the ideal. He looks like you but has a nicer decorated home, (it must be in the genes) and can always give you advice on how to wear a dress of your hair (even if he a banker or has some other drone paper pushing job).
Since when Scot/German is a minority group? If you have a cute Euro accent (not eastern europe) go to the front of the line. If you can cook something from your culture that is yummy and doesn’t involve animal organs that are taboo here you score big points with white people. If you criticize America occasionally and at the right moment you will also score points but make sure it is not aimed at the group you are hanging with.
BFF…..LMAO
I don’t have friends that fit those categories, nor do I want to. I work in Wilmington, DE and am around poor dumb people all the time and I can safely, honestly say that not only do I not know what’s best for them, I don’t want to. (know them, or what’s best for them)
And I bought the book SWPL before you did!
Do I get bonus points for being a fag hag? LOL I spent the 80’s housing my gay male friends because their parents disowned them when they came out. My very conservative southern baptist mother would offer our guest room up until they could get on their feet, condemning the other parents lack of understanding. She’s a liberal in republican clothing!
Your father is cool. I wish there were more people like him.
“It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity.” i laughed sooo hard at this. i am the exact person that this website describes..
-If they are hit on by a member of the same sex, it provides them with a valuable story that they can use to prove to their other friends that they are more progressive and tolerant. “This guy/girl hit on me, I said I was ’straight but not narrow,’ and it was totally chill. Oh, you went to an Irish bar this weekend? That’s cool, I guess. “-
This cracks me up!! I am one of the gay friends white people like so much, and this statement is probably the funniest thing I’ve read ALL WEEK!! =]
Notice here. Portland has a gay mayor. The gay mayor has a lover. Gay mayor’s lover is under age. Oh shit. Before the mayor was elected he was found to have done this dastardly thing so mayor lies. Said he didn’t do it. OOPS, now he says he did do it, but after lover boy was eighteen. Now others have come out and there are many saying the mayor is still lying. Not much doubt about that, but the dumb sum a bitch won’t resign. The Portland gay community is up in arms and supporting the mayor.
Conclusion: When your life is a lie, all you can do is lie. Justification of baby rape is also a lie. When you’re a lying son of a bitch you hang around liars and those liars lie back at you. Get the picture.
Maybe you need a gay mayor in your town. I’ll ship you one freight paid.
Gezbelle – fag hags are on a totally different level. Every proper gay man has a fag hag, and they simply fit in as part of the gay community. And that was a very kind thing for you to house your friends. There world needs more people like you 😉
As a gay man, I don’t see the problem with straight people being fascinated by gay culture and eager to declare themselves as open-minded.
I had a straight guy friend who was kind of a homophobe, but he let me take him to a gay club. He had a great time, and especially enjoyed all the attention he was getting. He was particularly enthralled by the drag show, something he didn’t even know existed. He ended up getting really drunk and dancing to ABBA.
Since then he was proudly proclaiming thinks like “I’m straight, but not narrow,” or “I have a gay friend maybe you should meet each other.” Coming from my background, listening to straight people talk that way is music to my ears. Why not encourage straights to feel proud of their open-mindedness? What’s the harm in that? People should feel good about the good things they do. I personally was proud of my friend that he went from being a casual homophobe to spending the day at Gay Pride with me. No, I don’t think he savored the sting of oppression, but if he did that would be a good thing, too.
Not gonna Dur it. But there really useful for Decoratin stuff and planning weddings… Thats about it.
look at you thinking you know your shit when you can’t even find the correct context of they’re/there/their.
Did you rape you’re drunken straight friend on the way home? That’s how much I trust your ass.
Hi there,
I am a nice looking young guy looking for a nice gay guy that want the perfect satisfaction from me.
FUNNIEST. BLOG. POSTING. EVER!!! I laughed so hard after reading this…I’m a gay minority! lololl
can we befriend you? we have a minority crossdresser but its not the same…
HA, this is brilliant!
http://www.feedhimtothepigs.com/?p=56
You sound intelligent. If you are also cute, maybe we can have dinner some time.
Hi im a woman looking for gay men friends
hi im looking for gay friends i’ve never had any maybe coz i’ve never met any but im sure they are lovely people and i would like to visit gay pubs. Please if you are intrested to be a friend please email me and we can take it from there. Im a female 31 years
LMAO. New # for SWPL…..reminiscing about veteran relatives although you never served in the military yourself.
White people love to talk about the sacrifice their dads/grandfathers made in the war. What a commitment to their country, a dedication to future generations.
Of course, white people would never think of joining the military themselves. That’s why they join the Peace Corps. Then, they can feel like they’re making the same sacrifice their father/mother/uncle made, but without the loom of impending death.
‘Gay men,’ I believe men is one word that can’t be modified by gay. You have gay, and you have men. When a male is gay he is not a man; just a misguided weird fudge packer. Also, they cannot relate to women in a normal healthy fashion. The gay male and woman relationships are unique because the woman thinks she is safe from advances and being considered a sex symbol. Truth is we are talking about two weird people; neither one living entirely in reality.
Buckaroo you’re a moron. Please kill yourself. Thanks.
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Get real, Buckaroo. Your homophobia is giving you away as the insecure and sexually uncertain guy that you really are.
this is really gay pic
Buckaroo, I am a straight, normal female entirely living in reality. You are a sad, redneck who probably spends his nights secretly jerking off to gay porn whilst having pictures of naked chicks on your walls to affirm your so-called “normality”. Daniel is right: please kill yourself. Thanks. Cheers.
I will tell everyone I slept with you and you enjoyed it immensley.
HEY EVERYBODY I am Rob and I slept with Buckaroo. He enjoys anal and oral sex by the way. He sucks great.
Oh, sad, pathetic, Buckaroo, I am a gay man, definitely more man than you’ll ever be and more woman then you will ever get!
Yes and he loved it. Had his first prostate orgasm.
I was a self-loathing homosexual Catholic school altar boy for years. Finally I realized being gay is the way.
No marriage, no divorce, no kids. I can go online to Manhunt.com get laid easily and cheaply. Its like picking from a menu. I think gay guys are less prone to jealousy and they are more understanding of male sexuality. A lot of gay dudes have a long term partner but mess around on the side.
Also, straight men are penatrators and women are receivers. As a gay man you can experience both.
Im white can’t stand gays, well the eccentric, look at me im super gay type of gays. Not that i hate gays but just cause your gay doesnt mean you have to walk around in assless chaps sucking on a popsicle like its a dick. This gay friends thing really only applies to white girls. Most straight guys wont have gay friends, its not a i dont like gays thing but more of a i have nothing in common with gays thing. Unless its one of them average acting OMG i cant believe your gay gays. When i find out their gay that doesnt change anything but most gays are not like this.
Well there’s no problem with people sticking to what they like. BTW: I’ve never met any gay guys that go around in public wearing assless chaps. Maybe during pride festivals but its just for fun.
Oh yeah you are also the wrong kind of white person. This is the site you should be on:
http://www.jefffoxworthy.com/
Using a spelling correction as a pun? Really? …Your such a white person. ..And on this blog out of all things. How ironic. I like it!
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dude.. dont call names.. its so impolite 2 call names.. and seeing that you insulted some-1 so immensely i bet ur a republican… anyways calling some-1 a name or insulting them shows a lack of self respect and also shows u have nothing good 2 say about urself or u wouldn’t have 2 say things 2 discredit others… gay peeple have the right 2 do whatever they want in the privacy of their own homes (hopefully not out in public o.0) and btw i have gay friends… im not gay and i am a guy… a black guy… bout 2 turn 18 ^_^ YEAH! and dont ask why i came 2 this website… i was just curious what white peeps liked… but the point is dont say bad things about any-1 no matter what you think is wrong with them… cuz if god realy did h8 gays.. why are they here? gay peeps are all part of god’s plan just like everything that happens so just deal with it!
DEMOCRATZ RULZ!
you are the wrong type of white person, obviously!
Way to go, Buckaroo, you called it as it is!!! Don’t let the comments from the rest of the perverts and fucked-up people here change your mind… stupidly, these people have bought into the brainwashing the media and gay lobby have advanced over the years .. Remember, as recently as 1970 being homosexual was still classified by the American Psychological Association as what it is: a psychological disorder (afterwards, political correctness set in and they removed it). If you dig deep, most gays were molested at a young age, and those that deny it have repressed the memory… the rest are just loners who never had a normal healthy relationship with the opposite sex, and drifted into homosexuality as an experiment or in desperation…
I’m gay but the effeminate gays kinda freak me out. I don’t hate them or anything but its just a bit weird.
The term gay wasn’t even coined until some decades ago. The ancient Greeks, Romans,Persians and Chinese seemed to find it perfectly normal. What exactly do you mean by digging deep? Do you seriously claim that most gays were molested?
Get a life and stop spouting your irrational views here.
Touche.
hahahahaha
You don’t even know him. Besides thats quite a question for a straight guy.
As a non-WASP: I find that a lot of friendships in American or Canadian society tend to have a ‘token’ aspect to them. I guess it’s part of the birds-of-a-feather mentality or some group membership process? Anyway, I still don’t get why a lot of people want to create some kind of ‘social CV’ for themselves, particularly one that is highlighted or marked by contacts with minorities, like black or gay people. Whatever happened to just getting along with whoever vibes well with you – no matter what their race or sexual orientation is? I think good manners is the best way to measure the worth or quality of most people one comes across on this mucky planet, in this short life. As Seneca said: KINDNESS is a language that the deaf can hear.
Being cool is a bit overrated and so unoriginal. And there’s nothing cool about being friends with gay or black people for the sole purpose of just bandying that info around social groups.
Im white and i thinks faggots are pretty damn confused and disgusting.
many people will call me homophobic…. but incase you didnt know, a “phobia” is a fear. Im not scared of gays. I just plain dont like them.
oh ok, then you’re a bigot.
Yep.
I have a gay black friend and I tell him all the time that he needs to become a jew so then he’ll be a triple threat! However, he isnt my friend just because he’s gay/black…but it is like an added bonus!
I totally agree with you on the phobia part.
I’ve always wondered why people refer to not liking gay people as “homophobic.” I think it derives from the whole “if you really don’t like something, you must be afraid of it” idea…or something like that.
If you run away from them to cry and wash your hands, maybe you are afraid of them; but I don’t think that’s the case for most people who have been labeled homophobic.
Yes let’s not stereotype people just because -they- choose to dress the same way and cut their hair the same way and march in the same parade waving the same colored flag with the same bumper stickers on their cars. Let’s not express anything but love and understanding for other clans and their interests.
You may not be homophobic – you’re just judgmental and classless.
Oh, and most likely uneducated.
No one has mentioned the wonderful need that “gay” people fill for the white people that don’t like them. I gives them something HUGE to be offended by. So there is another reason why white people love gay people. LOL Live and let live people. Sheesh
No one has mentioned the wonderful need that “gay” people fill for the white people that don’t like them. It gives them something HUGE to be offended by. So there is another reason why white people love gay people. LOL Live and let live people. Sheesh
Meg,
You are so right!
What is the point of being rude after reading a satirical blog post?
Proud Straight man I suggest you find another place to vent your anger, may I suggest the Fox News blog?
Not liking gays is pretty much the same thing as not liking blacks or hispanics or the Chinese. Automatically writing off millions of people without even knowing them is ignorant.
So you might not be “afraid” of getting beat up or harmed by gay people, but you are most likely very insecure in your own sexuality. So by taking time to not like gays and verbalize it, you are trying to re-affirm your own masculinity to yourself and to others. Maybe that alone qualifies it as a phobia.
When you make friends, you don’t necessarily try to find out everything they do in the bedroom. I’ve never come across anything a gay person has done that a straight person hasn’t tried themselves. So sexual preferences shouldn’t be a factor in treating people equally as humans.
Anger and hate are just fear turned inward.
That was really funny; I almost choked on my gum.
Zing!
The phrase is actually depression is anger turned inwards. Nice try at being oratorical though. Now for Jessica, you should know that phobia can also mean an intense hatred of something. Maybe you should learn the language before you criticize someone. I think y’all have white people problems
http://www.phillyd.tv/2009/04/05/white-people-problems/
But for Brandon. Don’t assume that people who are “homophobic” have masculinity issues because that is assuming that all homophobes are male. Also some of this “homophobia” has been ingrained in social culture and in others things. Plus I love how you mentioned “blacks,” “Hispanics,” and the “Chinese.” Not only the fact that you didn’t mention the Jews when they are a substantial minority. But also that you equated homophobia with racism. And though they are both hate crimes that have different connotations in both the legal system and society.
Though in now way am I supporting homophobia. In fact I am a Jewish gay white male. Which makes me a gay minority (sorry not a single parent). And I too have my share of white people problems.
Whoops I meant to say forms of hate and not “hate crimes.”
wtf name calling is bad but then you say that because he insults people he must be a republican. That shit isn’t right.
Who said anything about not liking gay people? This whole post is about how white people LOVE gay people. And if you actually believe that you’ve never come across anything a gay person has done that a straight person has it, you’re fooling yourself. Not that that has anything to do with anything, but it’s a really stupid thing to say.
huh. I have 2 bi friends and it’s nothing to do with wanting to feel tolerant. They just are, in the way that some of my friends happen to have blonde hair or brown eyes. I didn’t even find out until reletively recently.
Some of these are funny but this particular one is pathetic. Really? White people go out of their way to make gay friends? Not really. Way to unsuccessfully generalize. As a lesbian I’m pretty irritated by this post.
its so true. The thing is you are a lesbian. It does not work as obviously for lesbians as it does for gay men. You dont get it. Have you not seen Paris and that one guy?
You do not fall in this category then, do you? Stop being ego-centric.
Totally. I know a guy who said he liked to go to gay bars to get hit on to feel better about the way he looked. Come on, gay’s are like the newest hand bag.
I wonder how white people feel about mean, depressed-looking dykes? Do they avoid them? Are they attracted to them? What can you do with them? Are they overweight to ward off male predators? They show no signs of femininity, what happens if they want to go back. They are too mannish, yet they are mannish in a womenish way. So to prize them as a “gay friend” wouldn’t be as satisfying, because they are really just an upset woman.
I like gay girls gay boys I like pretty much all races… I have not been close enough to some to know much about them. But I would not say I dont like them, cuz i dont know them. I do think flaming gay males make the best shopping companions………. this is too true!!!! but everyone has good qualities every religion every culture.
totally different topic sort of
but I love my black friends
but they are racist towards some white people I think or atleast it seems that way.
They like to say that someone called the n word??? even when they did not to get something started whats up with that???
I don’t have a problem with gays or anything but I can’t stand the self righteous narcissistic attitude of white people in relation to gay friends. They think because they befriend a fag that all of a sudden are superior in intellect to all others. They befriend different people not for the sake of friendship but so they either have something to brag about or something to make them feel better about themselves. Go to an all guilty white liberal dinner party type shindig and you will see this circle jerk of self righteous tolerance.
I never used to understand how anyone could hate a person based on their sexual orientation – I literally couldn’t conceive it or imagine the feeling. I recently moved to Sydney from a small town, however, and I now really dislike gays. Each one I encounter is different, but there is always something about them that is rude, offensive, judgmental, ridiculous or arrogant. Actually, I’m not sure I can even describe it, I just keep encountering pain-in-the-ass gay people with no empathy for other people. They seem to have the worst qualities of both of the sexes. I’m female, half white/Asian. But this is an entirely personal ontological opinion & probably has no relevance to the topic at all.
Oh sweetie, I’m gay too and I wish it was not true, but I only need to say 6 words to get my point across… I USED TO LIVE IN TEXAS.
Have you ever been to Austin? I can not TELL you how many people tried to pick me up as a souvenir to show”progressive” they were.
It doesn’t matter. He is white.
I figured this video was painfully relevant to the discussion.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2009/04/24/VI2009042403128.html?sid=ST2009042500037
and as a white person, hilarious in an ironic way.
I totally agree that obnoxiousness is really prevalent in the gay community. Lesbians are usually too loud and in your face and sometimes punch your arm when you’re really rather they didn’t, and gay guys tend to be really shallow and judgemental and petty. And I’m a lesbian.
Honestly, I can’t stand most gays and lesbians because they’re just so in your face about it! So many of them seem to define themselves primarily by their sexual orientation. Come on! Can’t we find something more meaningful to define us?
A lot of times straight people do that for us, though. I once had a schoolmate introduce me to a friend and right after my name, she said, “She’s a lesbian.” You know, because that’s the first thing a person needs to know about me. Of course. And one of the only gay guys I can stand can hardly get through a conversation with his other friends without them mentioning that he’s gay.
I think this applies to a lot of other cultures, too. “Brown people” and Asians get a lot of comments about being smart and oh my God, could people learn how to speak to Jews without making a remark about their Jewishness?
It’s ridiculous that people insist on defining others by their minority status.
I’m pretty sure that’s what he said. But in a more eloquent and less offensive way.
I didn’t read all 200 comments – but as a white person it is also my solid belief that even if it has been said earlier – it is up to me to bring it up as a salient point – and that I will put it forward in far more eloquent and understanding fashion that that of those before.. even though I haven’t read them.
While I agree in the entire social roster theory.. the strongest sub culture HAS to be the “hag” – or the female of the white breed…. who latches on to gay male friends to display diversity in friendship AND has the added bonus of complaining about being single because “all the men I meet are gay”.
’tis a poten mix.
Dude, gay-friends are so 1997. I have transgendered friends now! How cool does that make me?
Its a symbiotic relationship that extends beyond the “Having Gay Friends” token. Margaret Cho has a lot to say about fag hags
As a lesbian you are probably irritated by just about everything.
HAHA, trangender friends. Gay people are just so 1997. Time to say you are something else besides gay to get attention. Maybe say you are dogmatically influenced.
wooowww, hahaha, yes this is very relevant. on the one hand u have some stupid over conservative religious ppl, and the other you have all these retarded PC brainwashed kids, as all kids are these days.
My best friend is gay and a minority and is the most fabulous friend I could ever ask for… I think I won the white person lotery 🙂
LOL..
http://messedupparentingtips.wordpress.com/
Okay… So Im going to a gay bar tonight actually … with my bi-sexual friend Sarah, cross-dresser friend Jamal and two gay friends Mikey and Brandon… So I think I deserve a white girl award. I love them. Gay guys are so much more fun to hangout and dance with then straight guys. I mean, minus 3 of my other friends, these previous mentioned people are some of the greatest people I have ever met.
I like going to the gay bar because I dont get hit on by creepy 40-year-old drunk guys or horndogs looking for some “poon-tang”. I go there to dance, have fun, buy [my OWN] cheap $2 shots and hangout with some of the best people I know… they just happen to be gay, bi..etc.
It doesnt bother me at all that the bloger would write this either… because i see other people do exactly what was said. I just, persoanlly, dont follow the same “white person” fad.
But I agree with some of it.. and some of the comments.
And before some thoughtless asshole goes and calls me a fag hag I would like to remind you that I demand as much respect as you would give any other woman. I am young and like to have fun and it just so happens that I like to do so at the gay bar on fridays. 🙂
Thank you for tollerating my longggggg comment. 😛
Well I am totally out of touch with reality if this is the truth.
I grew up around drag queens, transgenders and gays and yet I have not one single gay friend… or any black friends for that matter…
I think there is a difference between saying you treat people as equals and actually treating them equally.
I have a friend in a wheel chair, who says treat me like everyone else… when I do (for instance tell them off over something) I get “How can you say that to a disabled person”.
Alot of ‘fag hags’ do like to mention their gay friend above all others, maybe it really does make them feel special.
I would just prefer to have friends. Period. Gay/straight/bi/asian/black who really cares.
I get invited to gay clubs by straight white women more than I do by other gay guys… I always say no because by the end of the night their going to try to make out with me or hump my leg or something.
you are a stupid ass bitch
Absolutely. But there are a hell of a lot of gays out there who would benefit from taking this advice as well.
I second that.
Lol.
You can brag about your gay friends unless, of course, you’re surrounded by uber conservative people who ask, “So, have you told him he’s going to hell yet?” So I tend to avoid using gender terms online about my gay, opposite sex roomate except in front of people who know me well enough. Some of the aforementioned uber conservative people are so clueless they think there’s something between us. ICK! And fortunately, we don’t have the same taste in guys either. Just mention “Adam Lambert” and “Kris Allen” and watch the different reactions.
wow. i would hate if that were happening at my school. i like how the woman Sara Phelps, who starts talking at 1:22 about obeying god and not being gay, is wearing a GAP shirt, and the popular meaning (as a joke of course) of gap is “gay and proud”
“Gay guys are so much more fun to hangout and dance with then straight guys.”
You’re basing this on the few you know? I’m gay and don’t usually appreciate generalizations and stereotype perpetuation, it overshadows your tolerance.
You know you are not telling the truth, no one, especially a gay man would ever hump a leg in public! They have too much class for that =)
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money entertaining their gay friends.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
beg-o-a-thon, you are black trash
This guy asking for money is definitely white…
I luuuuvre my fag hags.
You should listen to Margaret Cho on fag hags. Funny as F&ck!!
What’s wrong with having a diverse set of friends. If white people kept everyone non-white or gay out of their circle of friends and never taught their children tolerance and respect for others, the non-white people of the USA would be screaming RACISM and DISCRIMINATION. The most awesome thing would be to respect each other’s cultures – including those of the “white majority,” which seems to be taboo to actually enjoy your culture if you’re white.
I think the joke here is not that they have diverse friends, but that they have friends BECAUSE they are diverse.
In other words, if person A and person B were exactly alike, with the sole difference that person A was white and B was black, white people (according to this joke list) would choose B in order to appear to be progressive, and shun A, in order to avoid looking racist.
Which in essence, is, being racists.
I always thought begging for money was a black person thing.. I live on 38th st. and MItt. on the East side of Indianapolis and there’s plenty of stings, whores, whack-jobs, and weirdos begging for a dollar and 10/10 times… they are black.. and my response is… “go fuck urself.”
u get used to them begging so i get’s easier everyday to brush them off… The only time i really give out change and dollars is if they say they are gonna buy booze.
I praise honesty.
I have one gay friend and one minority friend. They’re the same person.
I don’t think this is just exclusive to white people–everyone wants gay friends :]
What about “misusing the word ‘girlfriend’?” I have TONS of white female friends who refer to their (straight) friends as “girlfriends.” Such as, “my girlfriend and I went to the mall” or “I was talking to my girlfriend the other day.”
What’s up with that? Why doesn’t the word “friend” suffice?
Unless you’re dating them, they aren’t your “girlfriends.”
You never hear men refer to their friends as “boyfriends” – why do women do it? It just sounds so silly.
Mind you, these are usually the same women who pride themselves on being “gay friendly”… yet, if you think about it, their gross mis-use of the word “girlfriend” misappropriates lesbian experience. They don’t consider the fact that lesbians DO have girlfriends, and when a lesbian is outing herself to someone new, she can’t talk about her girlfriend without people thinking she’s referring to just some gal pal she goes out for cosmos with.
congrats, you just hit 2 birds with one stone.
as tolerant as i am, most gay people dont act like the funny and likeable ones in the movies
i wish the ones i knew would leave me alone. theres enough drama created from girls.
Why does person A have to be the white one?
Good god people it’s a joke. Most of these posts are making fun of hipster fashionable jerk offs. But really, they’re jokes.
The same could be said for white people….
HAHAH, true that. And why does person A even have to be shunned to begin with? No need to create racism.
Some of my best friends (in real life) are…
1. Gay (also works with lesb [o] ian or bisexual)
2. Black (but try to use the word “African” instead)
3. Mexican (even though not all Hispanics are)
4. Muslim (prounounced “Moslem”, and brag about let’s not “hate” A-rabes and I-ranians/Persians/them people)
5. Chinese (they “all look alike” to me, I can’t help it)
6. Blind (or deaf, but talk loud or tap their heads)
7. Elderly (so nobody calls you an “ageist” on 50 year olds)
8. Mormon (compare them to Pentecostals, 7th-day Adventists or Jehovah’s witnesses)
9. Italian (and claim you’re 1/16th Irish with a Polish great-grandfather, after you mistaken a Sicilian for a Greek)
10. Indian (with a dot or turban Indian)
11. Blue-collar (to explain their lack of trendiness)
12. Southern (to win an argument against a conservative Republican voter)
and the last 13. Female (hey, that really works on dates)
and don’t forget 14. Jewish! (when you discuss religion, politics, race, money or anything controversial with…) +
To be “white only”? I understand your logic about racial or cultural separatism is seen as unacceptable, though you’re pointing out blacks, gays and women are the ones acting like the “bigoted” ones excluding others outside their group. White privilege is what we need to abandon and with a black president who’s rethinking his earlier stance on gay marriage rights, America is again interested in social reform on how people who have a sexual orientation for members of the same-sex who are consenting adults. The idea of “striaght only” or to make gay people look like the “bad ones” isn’t right, this is discriminatory to preach a now debunked belief of homosexuals aren’t “normal”. +
Since when only white people accept the ones who are gay? Parts of the US is notably hostile toward gays and certain states holding a liberal position on gay marriage or gay rights is where more gays/lesbians reside in, or have an active gay or GLBTQ lifestyle (i.e. California, the most famous communities in San Francisco & West Hollywood). +
No…you’re off to sensitivity training class, tomorrow 9AM sharp. Today, we’ll learn how not to be bigoted, intolerant or insensitive, and the lesson #1 is: allegedly gay friends. Don’t make an issue out of one’s homosexuality is the only rule to go by, and here’s a quick tip: it’s OK to say “gay” but never in a negative manner or as a putdown: for example = “this blog is gay”. Please do not say, type or laugh at it. If you’re really friends with one who is an openly gay man, you should have thought of that & he has “feelings”. +
(brainstorm) We all should send in a proposed entry #128 : “Few black people actually are registered Republican” or “Some gay people actually are Christian”. I’m not sure the blogger accepts, but it’s worth the shot. And what do you mean “we” white boy? LoL! I’m 1/4th American Indian and not a member of the Cherokee tribe. +
White people only like gay men. Never lesbians.
Anyone in here watched “Queer Eye for the straight guy” on Bravo a few years ago? Perhaps the kind of TV show to stir up enough anti-gay sentiment than a Westboro baptist church service. Look at the guys: experts on fashion, hair styles, home decor, cooking and advise on relationships. More like “Help! I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body.” next on Jerry Springer or Oprah (sigh, shes soooo stylin’. sista’s got klazz, tat girl, lovin’ it! mmhmm). +
He gets points for being with a girl…make that, female friend. How many points you have: 200 vs. his 100? You get 100 more if you befriend an autistic man. “You go girl”. +
Utah is soooo 1997, except SLC was placed on the top 50 gay-friendly places in America by the Advocate magazine. Wherever you go, there you are…and the gay ten out of 100 people. Just like the “X-men” film, mutants united together…and gays must possess a superpower, no wonder they know when a gay-bash (as in hate crime) moment is coming. +
Darn it, metrosexuals was like 2003. I hate being in Palm Springs area, the burning red star in outer space 5 light years behind the stars of Hollywood, Westwood and West Hollywood. Now who’s gayer? Palm Springs where many shops and clubs have rainbow flags? or Westside L.A. the kind of place a gay man will want? Rock, paper, scissors…+
I knew a night club east of Palm Springs (now surrounded by strip malls and home tracts) back in the 70s my parents told me had a huge neon sign reading “the GAY” but placed on the rear view mirror of passing cars, it appears to say (this is true): “F@G!” Today, it’s called the Painted Desert, but maintains a popularity among gay patrons. +
I thought Gay was the new black, or in the words of those in anti Prop.8 demonstrations, the New Jew to compare the anti-Semitism of Nazi Germany in the ’30s. The mainstream politicians and churches made a profit (and got votes) for being anti-gay, “family values” and standing up for what Leviticus 17 (?) said about the idea of marriage only of a man & a woman: “Adam & Eve, not Man-dam with Steve”.
I don’t have anything against Gay, not trying to be PC and not trying to be white either. Since when it’s a “Crime” for anyone to admit they are openly gay or homosexual? Not sure the bible is true or infalliable, but people are who they are…and they seek a social setting among themselves like gay bars or clubs. I admit to be autistic, part-American Indian, in my late 20’s and a male, do I prefer company with “my own kind” or like to seek out those alot like me? Why not, I’m straight and just as careful around women, there’s a proper place and appropriate time. Gay people are treated like outcasts, freaks or different from others, but in reality no one can be sure who’s gay or lesbian, and in the public square…they are average joes or joans like you and me. +
He’s any of the options I want to examine why he posted such an ignorant comment:
A. Troll, nothing else to do on a sunday afternoon.
B. He’s in a fringe religious church/sect (rejects the quote “hate the sin, but love/not hate the sinner”.)
C. May be a member of the KKK or American Nazi Party.
or D. a closet homosexual, “the ones who preach or hate may be who you are inside.”
The blogger is a comedian, but he does get unfunny replies. +
I don’t know you relaly, but what you dislike about gays? You gotta get over your fears, like a man afraid of heights (or water) walks on a bridge the entire time ignoring the unrealistic risk of falling down. Gay people…are people, like white people are PEOPLE, black people are PEOPLE, poor people are PEOPLE, etc. what they do in the privacy of home or between their partners doesn’t mean they are bad or anything. Homophobia is sooooo 1987. +
I equate prejudice of gays with prejudice of blacks, or how one persons pokes fun of disabled people, likes to call fat people “ugly” and a sexist man views women with “all hair, no brains or has boobs”. Prejudice towards groups of other people is unacceptable, but in the exception towards gays or homosexuals is tolerated or “okay”. It’s still prejudice and gay people fought to end the hatred towards them. +
Yeah, cliques are made of similar people, like all-white and all-black cliques, all-Hispanic or all-Asian cliques, all-men or all-women cliques, disabled (i.e. blind, deaf, wheelchair-bound, down’s syndrome) cliques, Muslim/Christian/Jewish cliques, etc. is what you see around in social life. Is the blog writer part of his clique, the elite vs. the non-elite?
The thing is cliques may be exclusive or limited on who else to be a new friend with. I worry about anyone comes by and want to make friends with other people, get laughed off and told to “scram! beat it” for how the stranger is different from them. These are the kind of people you don’t want to be friends with. +
Craig, you can go your own way in life without bothering others about it. I find nothing wrong with you being gay or you came from a church at the time with a conservative attitude. My Dad was raised Catholic before Vatican II and hasn’t been in church for years, he’s not homophobic. My Mom was former Baptist, but knew homophobia is hurtful towards people who have a different sexual orientation. I was brought up to respect people as people, though the trendiness of famous gay celebrities and how everyone is like “I have a gay friend” can get annoying, as Margaret Cho pointed out…and her self-humor about lesbianism, Asian-American culture and being a “fat” actress in a place where lookism against size 12-plus people is business. +
LOL I guess, like those ethnic parades the characters are in stereotypical garb. I can’t imagine a Martin Luther King day parade the black people are hip-hop artists surrounded by women “hos” or throwing watermelon pieces at the crowd. Same goes to Mexican independence day parades the “Don mariachi” band (authentic) but the “sleeping sombrero guy” or “low-rider gangbanger” (stereotypes) throw tacos at the crowd. I guess it’s for fun, but may be held offensive. +
To continue, I attended the annual white party event in Palm Springs where over 50,000 spectators (primarily men of all ages) had a parade, plays, dances and techno nights. It’s one of the most visited gay pride events in America and Palm Springs has an openly gay mayor Ron Oden who had the city declared a “hate-free zone”. But the gay pride stuff of men in feminine “peacock” outfits, leather outer-wear & drag queen pageants seem to be at least in fun. +
I hope the Republican party changes its way with gay voters, mostly registered Democrats and the Stonewall wing of the Democrats. Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney and Mitt Romney admitted to had lesbian daughters, and the Log Cabin Republican club are the gay voting constituents. +
Correction: Newt had a sister who was lesbian and she lived in Paris. Damn it, I needa slow down, this place gets you wound up on hot issues. He won’t be president, no matter how he taunts his socially conservative agenda. +
A rude question, besides a man (or woman) should talk to the friend about possessing any romantic feelings first and see if the relationship expands to a new level. To get her (or him) drunk/stoned is a bad idea…and very illegal. +
Homosexual people are funny and act really kool– i learned all about homosexuals from Hollywood/weird. Thanks.
i saw a friends gay wedding album, and i noticed the only 2 people with normal happy and joyous looks on their face were the 2 brides…..all the friends and especially family look like they died a little inside. btw, everyone was white and left wing like yourselves……hmmm funny, I thought you people were truly tolerant and progressive.
Ah because you are the expert on recognizing tolerance through wedding guest photos
I am gay. I have no gay friends. You are wrong.
Thanks Brian…I was thinking the same thing. Folks try to over analyze…everything.
Me Man (straight, likes women of me species), have men friends, few women are me best friend. Me no cavemen, modern human. I like women, want her make me wife. Go make mini-me with her. Me no afraid of gays. Men rule!+
noticed the same thing, all these liberal white “talk” about acceptance and love, and fairness and other bullshit, but i also saw a homesexual’s wedding album, and besides the couple (two lesbians), most of the liberal happy go lucky dumb asses looked like they were constipated or just sucked on a lemon..sounds also like that diversity concept, they love it especially as they drive home to their lilly white neighborhoods.
I’m gay black man, yeah that’s right I’m a flaming negro, who takes it in the ass all the time HARD. Any of you redneck pricks got a fucking problem with that?!?
Yes, yes I do…
Check our site out, all of the games are awesome!!!
I’m gay white man, yeah that’s right I’m a flaming cracker, who takes it in the ass all the time from big, black hard dicked negroes. Any of you redneck pricks got a fucking problem with that?!?
If so, bring it and cum in my mouth with it. I accept big hard white dicks also. Mention my ass, and you can have it for free.
yoink
yoink
yoink
yoink
I’m an asswipe. I hope a gay man find me attractive.
Wait… what?
Just to double check myself, I looked up Tolerant in Webster’s Dictionary
Tolerant- Inclined to Tolerate
Tolerate- a. To allow to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction b : To put up with.
The point being, that even if your reading of facial reactions was correct, and the wedding guests all “died a little” inside, then they were still being tolerant. I don’t know if you can make someone like homosexualty, but the true measure of tolerance seems to be accepting it, which I assume the guests did, as they were at the wedding.
Basically, if they were at the wedding showing their support, then they were tolerant…
Oh yeah, and one more thing. Who’s “you people?” I’m pretty sure I wasn’t at the wedding.
i personally believe that anyone who acts rudely or doesn’t associate with gays strictly because of their homosexuality is affirming a greater sin than the lifestyle itself. LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, whether he likes chicks or he likes dicks.
everyone sins. some people just choose to put their evils in different places. anyone who cannot accept that is very, very narrow-minded. just because a gay person is gay, you’re going to damn them? if so, then you should damn adulterers, thieves, liars, and whores. nobody goes around rallying against these sinners, do they? all sins are equal in God’s eyes.
tolerance is next to cleanliness is next to holiness.
I CAN’T AGREE WITH YOU MORE ! VERY WELL PUT. I COULDN’T HAVE SAID THIS BETTER MYSELF.
ahhh, but you did say it better…you used ALL CAPS!
ummm, no; some of the other listing of things White Folks like are true to some degree, but this one is wayyy off.
my friends are the sustaining members of Stormfront.
no, i am happy there is a black gay, that means I don’t have to worry about you looking at white women.
Haha then your friends are “the wrong kind of white people” 😛
i’m going to go out on a total limb and guess you found this entry by searching for ‘white people’ and ’88’
this websites funny, i just hope that the writers aren’t serious in these blogs. i can’t speak for my race, but i don’t go prowling the streets in search of gay friends. i do however, like recycling and the whole ‘activist’ thing.
Ha!! ❤ that!
I live in a queer house and am the only straight person. Well ‘straight’. I’m a trans guy, ftm. So on the outside breeders will think I’m straight when I’m walking down the street with a girl. Which by all that matters I guess they’d be right. But I’d never want to be a straight white person. Cause really they don’t understand shit about the stigmatisation that come with being queer.
Just like we never understand any other shit really.
Oh and I’ve got plenty of queer brown friends, but I live in a more multi-cultural society, so that’s always gonna happen.
I have a friend who is a gay, Mexican artist. He was born in Mexico and speaks fluent Spanish, but he looks/acts pretty white. It’s amazing.
sexy
I love all my Gays!
Without them, fashion would suck……
Not I said the white man. I’m one of those rare white people that this thread loves to despise. I’m extremely intolerant of queers in my workplace, in my kids school, in public, in private and anywhere else that it makes a difference. I do not believe that some moral degenerate choice some fruitcake makes is in anyway deserving of “rights”, attention other than negative, nor will I be forced in celebrating that which disgusts me.
That said, I don’t give a rats patootie how anybody gets their jollies. Observe and respect the norms of commonly accepted social standards. Keep your more disgusting habits to yourself and in private.
lol! wow….. that was brave dude… being a homosexual is… well i just don’t get it. BUT! I simply can’t bring myself to hate them. The only thing I can agree with you is about that don’t ask don’t tell thing… but at the same time, i gots gay friends, HELL one of them even has a crush on me…. heh, i just exercise double think when it comes to this type of thing…. if there are any gays here, i would like for you to educate this individual on how not to hate people. Spread the love man. WWJD 🙂
gay people rock!!! ❤ ❤
So, Greg…you live alone?
I don’t “hate” gay people. I’m rather indifferent. I “HATE” what queers do to force their degenerate agenda down my throat. I “HATE” the very idea of changing laws that protect everyone equally to grant some degenerate group of misfits special rights no one else has. I “HATE” having to explain to my kids what the fu– a queer is. I “HATE” being told I’m somehow homophobic for being disgusted by queers, while their ridiculouse rants against societal norms in much more vitriolic terms is celebrated. I “HATE” a personal choice some fruitcakes make is ever even considered in the same vein as a race issue. I dont hate queers, I just hate everything they stand for, do, believe in, or try to force me to believe. Is that bad?
Well, that explains a LOT.
I didn’t get the memo. Who debunked it, and can I get a copy to look at?
Sounds a lot like homophobia to me.
Of course it sounds like “homophobia” to liberals and fruitcakes. Your ideological dogma demands it. No one is allowed to disagree with the tenets of said religion.
Just like believing Obama is an incompetant clown, means without a doubt,(to your ilk), I am a racist. Anyone that doesn’t celebrate and jump for joy at the very idea of degenerate same sex couplings, and strongly support anything they say, think, feeeeel, or do is homophobic, and deserving of public verbal lashings.
I am expected by this same group of degenerates to be apologetic, deferential, and genuflect on demand to show “tolerance”. I am expected to freely offer up my children for a good mental scrubbing in public school, so that they too may embrace the same degenerate and moronic world view. That my fruitcake friends is the definition of fascism. Pardon me all to pieces if I don’t go along with it.
The best is a gay white couple who adopts a black child 🙂
To Greg,
Two things. First, you clearly are uneducated with regards to our Consitution, and in particular, the section 1 of the 14th amendment, which is known as the equal protection clause. So let me help you out here: “No state…shalle deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” What you call “special rights” are actually people trying to get the rights that the Consitition already guarentees them.
Second, you sound to me like a classic, self-loathing gay man, who is deeply closeted. I wish you the best of luck coming to terms with your sexuality.
There you are. I was wondering where all the “articulate” fruitcakes were. I would like to ask our self appointed Constitutional scholar, where in the constitution is “hate crime” legislation addressed, dipshit? Go ahead, take a minute, I’ll wait. The queer marriage thing you are trying to get at isn’t in there either. At least not without a willful misinterpretation of the facts. Which I am certain you will pretend not to notice.
Second, your ilks tendency to describe anyone not
absolutely celebratory over you conclusions are either a “homophobe” or a “self loathing gay man” as the only two options because YOU say so…..
Well, that does’nt go anywhere either. While trying to achieve “protected” status, you have to demonstrate something that makes you different. A willful choice to engage in degenerate behavior doesn’t qualify. Regardless of how badly you want to believe that it does.
Everywhere queer marriage is put to a vote of the people, your ignorant assertions, and pathetic attempts to intimidate, are rejected outright, and don’t. Your ilks ridiculouse attempts at psuedo intellectualism isn’t backed up by science, any more than your degenerate lifestyle choices are. Whats more, the angry queer routine is just tired, and ineffective. So… Good luck with that!
Greg I’m waiting outside your door. Could you please open up so we can do what we always do on Tuesdays afternoons?
Oh and how was the giant rapist-vibrator for self-loathers you were telling me about the other day?
Cheers lover
lol hahahhahahahahaa
Thats tired too fruitcake.
lol gays
Greg, shut the f_ck up. Some of us don’t care to share our agenda or, as you say, “shove” it down your throat. You’re not homophobic, fine, drop your constant use of “fruitcake” and “degenerate” and maybe, just maybe, people would stop having that impression of you.
Some of us don’t care to have your full and unconditional love and approval, only need your support for the rights we should get. I’m not going to go by the Constitution, the Bible, or any other crap. I, deep down, know it isn’t right to deny somebody’s rights to anything because of sexuality. It’s as imbecillic as it was when the issue was skin color.
Greg- Sorry…but I’m just curious as to what “special rights” the gay community are trying to get that other people don’t have?
So gay people should be hypocrites? We should keep our degenerate behavior in “the closet” like many republicans do? Such as sleeping with prostitutes? Or making porn videos while protecting family values?
I’m scared that there are still people out there like yourself. I believe the “rights” we seek are no different from the “rights” you seek. Getting married and the protections that would afford us are very important. Protecting “the family” is what we need. Because we can’t get married, but have ways to have children, our families need MORE protection than yours. For instance if you father a child and your baby mama dies, that child automatically goes to you. Can you imagine if you baby mama’s parents stepped in and had more rights to that child than you did! Perhaps you child has never even met her parents, because they were “greg Haters”.
If marriage is just for the purpose of children, what about people who aren’t going to have children like Liz Taylor’s 27 marriages. Most heterosexual people don’t understand what a commitment really is anyway. You invite GOD to your weddings but not your marriages!
I bet Greg likes to watch two hot women getting it on! Oh but let those two women get married, no way! Pig, you’re the hypocrite.
What do you think hate crime legislation is? The same laws protect everyone the same, until hate crime legislation gives queers and certain races special protections against whites and people who don’t embrace the queer agenda. If that isn’t “special rights” what would you call it?
If you hadn’t noticed by now, I’ll illustrate it more clearly for you. I don’t give a damn what you degenerates like or don’t like. I have had to put up with your ilks vitriolic attacks on NORMAL behavior and social norms for more than a decade. Your degenerate ilks influence in public education was the straw that broke the camels back.
I don’t give a damn what impression you get of me, what names you call me, or anything else you freaks of nature do. You have offended me your last time. I am gonna be the one doing the offending from now on. Your CHOICE to engage in degenerate, amoral, disgusting behavior, does not qualify you for any kind of special treatement, or rights.
You depraved fruitcakes are going to start reaping the benefits of what you have sown, now.
Yes you should keep your degenerate, depraved ideas of “love” in the freakin’ closet, or in a deeeep freakin’ hole.
Your ilks complete disregard for how disgusting and offensive, your behavior is to the overwhelming majority of people is a major mistake and the problem.
Trying to force us to embrace, approve of, and jump for joy at your degenerate behavior, has consequences. It blows my mind that known degenerates, sexual deviants with no regard for mainstream ideals are even allowed in the same room as children. Allowing these same degenerate misfits to “raise” children, who the fu– came up with that dumbassed idea?
Most lesbians look like rosie odonell and ellen degenerate. Not an image I want to spend time on. Even if they looked like college co-eds, I’m not interested. All I think of is somebodies daughter has no respect for herself or family. Your ilks depraved and degenerate behavior spurred most of that crap into existence. Before you fruitcakes came out of the closet in San Franfreako, you rarely, if ever heard of, let alone seen that kind of depraved behavior. Granted, while a tittilating idea to some, when thought about. When brought out into the open, it loses its appeal. When forced to look at it, it becomes offensive.
So you can stick your hypocrite fantasy in the same hole you pulled it out of, fruitcake.
I love how you completely ignored that there are heterosexuals that don’t value marriage whatsoever. That there are straight people more degenerate than gay people. That there are heterosexual parents who have completely destroyed a kid’s childhood. No, no, no; All you care about is that we should never be let near a child or get married just because YOU say so? Sorry, but you’re ignorant and prefer to remain that way and I refuse to go along with it.
Ignored it or didn’t see what it had to do with the price of eggs????
Sure lots of kids have a hard time in life. How the hell does that justify letting a degenerate be the one to do it???
You and your ilk are far too stupid, to have any kind of reasoned conversation with.
Greg, I pity you. Those of you who tried to reason with greg, pearls before swine, friends, pearls before swine.
Feel sorry for yourself fruitcake, I don’t need it.
I would call it a human right.
As a heterosexual, white woman, I would expect the law to protect me against violence, slander and crime. Just because they are specifically asking for protection of a certain kind doesnt make it a new idea. If someone slandered or abused me (physically or verbally) for something I did or believed in, I would fully expect justice for it.
Don’t let not knowing what you are talking about keep you from sharing your opinion.
First off, I know exactly what I’m talking about.
Second, I was just asking a question and providing my opinion as an answer to your question. There is no need to be rude just because I happen to think differently than you do.
You do not know what you are talking about. shall I clarify for you??? Hate crime legislation is thought police. You are protected under the same laws I am and everybody else is already. Hate crime legislation adds extraordinary punishment to people they deem commited a crime based on what some presume their thoughts to be.
If a black man or a queer assaults a “heterosexual white woman”, while screaming racial and sexual orientational epithets it wouldn’t be even considered as a hate crime.
If a queer is assaulted it is automatically considered a hate crime, regardless of the situation.
Same if a black is assaulted by a white person, but not vice versa. Now you can pretend to know what your talking about all you want, you can percieve someone educating you as rude if you like. You can believe the moon is made of cheese for all I care.
Hey you know hate crime legislation covers all citizens and 25% of all cases are against whites.
Hate crimes make the crime not the person who has done it or who has suffered from it special
You could just as easily suffer a hate crime as anyone else.
Sounds good on a post, but it isn’t the law and it isn’t the practice.
Hey Greg, you are a dumbass. I said it before, and I will say it again. I am not a fan of the homosexual lifestyle and I don’t want to see two dudes making out everywhere I go. But I am also torn, because basically, I LOVE lesbiens. They make the word go around. If you had some lesbo and/or bi lady friends, you would understand why. hehe. And it is because of the love I have for lesbos, that I must defend that lifestyle.
First off, I strongely believe in “don’t ask, don’t tell”. I love women but it is not anyones business, I am not going to go around advertising my heterosexuality to the world, so don’t advertise your homosexuality either. That is where we both agree. But, you ALWAYS have to jump off the deep end. Sad.
I guess in your attempt to be the bad guy, you just make yourself look like a dumbass. You don’t have to explain homosexuality to your kids. Children should’nt be thinking about sex to begin with. If you were doing your job as a father, they would be thinking about toys and cartoons. What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home, is non of your bizwax. Why do you have to hate what they do their? It don’t affect you.
But the mother of all stupid things you said, your anti-hate crime diatribe took the cake. You big dumbass. Really, using your logic. If you went to say….Mexico. You, a big mullet wearing redneck in a place where you are the minority trying to survive. Lets say the locals don’t like YOUR KIND. They want you to move your white ass back to america so they start to fuck with you. Flatten your tires, make rude comments to you and your family. Whoop your ass for no reason other than the fact they don’t like you. You want the law to treat it as just a random asswhooping. No, why, because it was racially and hatefully driven. That is why there are hate crime laws dumbass. Less than fifty years ago, they lynched blacks for no reason. A year or two ago, six black guys got locked up for beating the ass of a white boy with a gun threating to shoot them. Yes, in a hick town that is majority white.
No to hatecrimes, your a dumbass. It is people like you, that make hatecrimes a necessity.
put alil love in your heart
🙂
I told you I learned my lesson. Regardless of how many times and how many ways I prove just how stupid you are, you won’t see it. I’m sure you won’t mind if I don’t waste my time, doing it again.
This is probably one of the most stupidest things I have ever read.
HA your ignorance and stupidity is ALMOST funnier than the article.
Fuck you optical fags. You have something better to share, then by all means, do share. If not, then let the man speak.
I learned my lesson too, giving you the benifit of the doubt as far as being remotely intelligent was a BIG mistake. You only proved that you are a bigot, racist, and DUMBASS. I laugh at your ilk.
put alil love in your heart
🙂
I’m a fag, wanna do me. You don’t have to pretend to be somebody else with me mah niggaaaaa. we can sniff poo and glue and get hhhiiiiiigghhhh. C’mon you pantie wearing cocksucker gimme sum a dat jungle luv.
ahm sorry man, us dumb negros have and ass for a mouth and our heads stuck up our asses and can only speak really stooopid shit. and i eat boogers
ahm a stoopid negro short and stout these are ma panties, i like boy skouts. I wanna sniff yer pooooo-oooooo-ooooo, I wanna sniff yer pooo YOinKs
I am a stupid cracker, all I want to do is suck dicks.
love to have gay guy friends because they are a substitute for women friends because they all hate each other.
The price of eggs? You blithering idiot. Why should us “degenerates” be the one to take care of a child? Oh, I don’t know… because one of the fucked up straights couldn’t? Hmm.. yeah.. that’s about right. Like Inexplicable enigma said, you are a dumbass with no logic and going around like a poser faking intelligence. Even though your stupidity doesn’t amuse me, I must say I’m more motivated to get the rights we deserve and enjoy them while not caring if your asshole gets all up in a knot. So before I work on these new goals, I’ll finally say: Fuck you and your Ilk, scumbag. Bye. 🙂
@Greg
Hey, fellow heterosexual hate-monger, don’t let them homo-queers put their degenerate agenda down your throat, cause that’s how you get the AIDS!
I’m not surprised inexpligable enigma would be one of your heroes. Stupidity is highly prized amongst your ilk.
And Stupidity is highly embraced amongst your ilk also, dumbass. I am not surprised that no one has chosen you as their hero Grig. Maybe you need to
put alil love in your heart
🙂
@ StraightAsADick
I bet you would know about that. How is your treatment coming along?
Why don’t you dial back your penis envy a little bit douchebag.
I live in Brighton, along with plenty of frightful homosexuals. They walk around town with their bottoms exposed, wearing ‘love me tender’ t-shirts, and singing Jimmy Somerville songs.
I bet you get that a lot. Do you think that maybe there is something to it?
Me jealous of two inches, I don’t think so tiny tim.
put alil love in your heart
😉
Is even better! Leave it up to guys like Greg being homo haters when they love to watch girls get it on. Fuckers.
You probably should read the rest of my comments douchebag. I addressed that already, but don’t let not knowing what your talking about stop you from sharing your ignorant opinion.
Hey Bi-sexual, get it right damnit. Greg would never be interested in watching two women get it on. He is into movies with two men engaging in hot gay love. He is a undercover HOMO!!!!! Right Greggie boo!!!
Hey everybody, Greg loves to perform oral on farm animals. don’t take my word on it, go to japan and see for yourself.
“Greg on November 20, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I’ve had horse in Japan, goat in Afghanistan, and dog in Korea, all of which were pretty good, and I would eat ‘em all again. I’ve yet to try a liberal in America, the thought of eating shit is a hard one to get around.”
You be the judge, last I checked, I have yet to read about an animal named “Liberal”. I heard of people having a liberal way of thinking. So unless Greg is an undercover canible, the only other rational conclusion one could make is that he is a pervert. What do ya think. Is Greg a beastiphile freak or just a misunderstood DUMBASS? You decide and let me know your conclusion.
put alil love in your heart
😉
hohoho muthafucka
I agree with Greg to a point.
I don’t see what is wrong with loathing any group in public or in private, but it DOES become a problem if one uses ones hate and infringes the freedom of others…via coercion and/or violence.
Thus, you can think whatever the hell you like in private and even shout it out in public or post it on the internet, but the moment you directly coerce someone because of any characteristic then the law steps in….
eg Greg’s hating fags is NOT incompatible with western ideals of toleration as long as he doesnt start attacking them etc.
btw all…If you dont agree with someone, attack what they are saying and NOT them personally. Then the whole thing turns into a slagging match
that was juvenile…and didnt help anyone.
Very astute.
And what’s your point?
Hey mini me, shut the fuck up.
enigma,
telling me to shut the fuck up and showing off like a teenager does not make you clever, cool or edgy…. it just shows that you have to resort to personal insults because:
1. You have nothing useful to say.
2. You wish to suppress and ostracise anyone who doesnt agree with you.
Perhaps you could tell me what is wrong with my post?
I know its easier to throw insults rather than debate, but try to use brain.
Point well taken, let’s see.
1. My point was self explanitory, shut the fuck up. It is for the greater good. DUH
2. I did’nt make any attempt to state a point of view, I just said shut the fuck up.
3. Greg is full of shit, you are full of shit, and what both of you say is full of shit. Ummmm, does that make things clearer for you.
Well, now you know where I stand.
put alil love in your heart
😉
Hehehe, hi everybody. I would like to share with you my obsession with gay sex. This is MY story, I am ashamed of it so I wrote it on another website under another name. Well, I am cumming clean and this is the place for me to do it. So, enjoy my memiors and to all that were offended by my earlier diatribes, I apologize. Maybe you will now understand me alittle better. Smoochessss. muah. 😉
You all know who I am. But you don’t know my story. Alright, I’m going to tell you. This is who I am. This is my story. It all started back in Compton, when I was a teenager in high school. I had started to think of the other boys in sexual terms. I mean, I liked girls, but I liked boys more. I liked the curve of their bums and the bulge in their…I started sucking cock at night, after school in the dugout of the baseball field. That’s when it all began, that’s when I met Buckaroo, and Buckaroo told his friends. One night I met a friend of Buck’s, when my parents were away. Oh God, the memories fill me with such cock cravings…..
“Buckaroo told me you do more than suck cock. He said you worship cock. He promised me you would take better care of my cock than a $200 whore. That’s a lot to live up to boy. Are you that good?”
I looked up at him and said, “Listen, I don’t want any trouble. I just want to get you off and let you leave. Please keep your voice down so my neighbors don’t hear you.”
His body had a strong odor that turned my stomach.
“Well, get started boy,” he said to me.
“Listen, Rodney, I would love to suck your wonderful cock but I think I could do a much better job and you could relax more if I gave you a hot shower. It would be my first time ever in the shower with a guy. Are you up for that?”
He thought about it for a minute and said, “Sure. Go get it started, and get me a drink while you do that.”
I started the shower, and asked him what he wanted to drink. “I don’t suppose you have any White Star Champagne here do you? I understand it goes well with cum, and we could both have a glass or two.”
I had a few bottles, which Buckaroo must have noticed when he was here. I opened a bottle and poured Rodney a glass and started to pour one for me. “No boy, not yet. A glass of champagne will be your reward after I’ve fed you. Now, let’s get that shower out of the way.”
We walked to my shower and I allowed him to enter first. He asked me to join him and I did. I grabbed the soap and started scrubbing his body, starting at his shoulders and working my way down his back, reaching around to wash his chest. When I reach his cock, I noticed it had deflated but soft it was still over 6 inches long. I made sure I cleaned his cock, balls and ass completely. The warm shower water was helping to clear my head. I wondered if I could get him off in the shower and then have him leave.
“You want it don’t you boy? Go ahead, take a taste of that white cock. Take it in your mouth.”
I got on my knees and started to kiss his cock. I felt humiliated and aroused at the same time: me, a young black boy sucking a beautiful white man’s cock. I figured if I got him hard and made him cum he would be happy and leave. But his sock wasn’t getting hard. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong until he said, “I’ve always wanted to do this. Enjoy this boy.”
I couldn’t believe he was cumming so quickly, so I opened my mouth and couldn’t believe what happened next. I never saw it coming!
My mouth quickly filled with his golden stream of piss. I was ready to spit it out until he slapped my face and told me to swallow it and to be quick about it. I am so glad I had been drinking earlier, it didn’t help the hot, salty and vile flavor of his piss but it did help get me through it.
He let go another stream, and another and one more. I swallowed three more times, and finally he was finished.
“Wow that was great boy. I’ve always wanted to find a slut who would do that for me.”
I grabbed the soap and cleaned him off one more time and made sure I was clean too, making sure to swallow shower water whenever I could to rid my mouth of the taste of his piss.
“Okay boy, lets dry off and get you worshipping this white cock of mine.”
I gargled first before doing anything else.
Then I dried him off making sure his body was completely dry then dried myself. We headed to my bedroom where he lay down on my black down comforter. His white skin stood out against the black comforter. He let his legs fall over the side of the bed so his ass was at the edge and told me to get on my knees.
“Go on boy. I love it when a black boy sucks my cock. In fact, I only let black guys suck me. White guys are too smart to suck cock.”
For the second time in my life I was under the power of white cock. As much as I wanted to get up and run, I also wanted to please this guy. I kissed his cock first, then slowly took its head in my mouth. My body took over as my mind went blank. I was sucking white cock and this man was fully in charge of the situation. What was worse was he came to my home uninvited, and that bothered me. But not enough to stop.
Remembering my experience two weeks ago, I moved my lips off his cock, now at least 9 inches and rock hard and moved down to his huge hairy white balls. I licked them, over and over and then dropped my head lower to lick his ass. He was moaning as I stuck my tongue deep in his ass, then moved my mouth up to his balls again and took one in my mouth as I slowly moved my tongue around it, over and over. I couldn’t fit both of his huge balls in my mouth at one time, so I moved to his other and sucked it softly.
Then I moved back to his cock. I took as much of him into my mouth as I could, filling my mouth and causing me to gag. He grabbed the back of my head and pulled it into his crotch forcing me to open my mouth as far as it would go as his cock entered my throat.
“Ah that’s it cocksucker. Now you’re getting there. Keep sucking me boy.” I did as I was told, suddenly realizing that I loved sucking white cock. I have no idea what power it holds but I knew now I would do anything I was told to do to please a white man.
I wasn’t paying attention to what was going on around me until it was too late. I never saw it coming!
There were two other men in the bedroom with us. I had not thought to lock my door. Two more white men, one with a camera capturing on video my second white cock session.
“Don’t worry cock sucker, these are my bros. They’re here to make sure you enjoy yourself, aren’t you bros?”
I started to pull of his cock when he grabbed my head again, and this time he started to fuck my mouth. All I could do was to keep my jaws spread wide open and wait for him to slow down.
“That’s it black boy, worship that white cock. You know you love it. Go on, tell me you love my white cock.”
I looked up at him and tried to speak, but his cock kept ramming in and out of my mouth. But it was clear to him, his friends and the camera that I loved sucking his cock.
Suddenly his cock seemed to grow even larger and his body stiffened. I knew what was next and my mouth filled with his hot, thick cum. He kept blasting and I was forced to swallow. It wasn’t as bad tasting as his piss earlier but it wasn’t something I would normally swallow either.
Four more blasts and he was finished. He slumped back on to my bed and looked me in the eye. “Buckaroo was right. You are better than a $200 whore! You black boys know how to suck white cock and you seem to love it. I can’t believe you let me piss in your mouth earlier!”
to be continued…..
Hello my brothas,
As you know by now, I sure like me some white dick. So without further ado, let me continue the story of my early years, my salad days. Or should I say, my salad-tossed days…
from the previous: scene four. I’m about to suck me some more white dick:
“What?” It was one of the other two guys in the room. “You mean this black boy let you give him a shower? Did he swallow your pee, man?”
“Swallow it? He gulped it down like it was a cold beer. Come to think of it, I owe him a taste of White Star, grab the bottle in the kitchen and bring it in here guys. Did you like the taste of my piss and cum black boy?”
I looked him square in his eyes and said, “Like it? No. I loved it. I was like drinking pure honey.” I had to say it. I didn’t want him to think he won.
The white man who was watching earlier returned with the bottle of open champagne. “I think I can pour it for him if you don’t mind, bro.”
He walked up to me and told me to open his pants. “No, not again,” I said. “You’ve had your fun, now leave.”
He slapped my face, hard. Now I was totally sober and the pain in my cheek burned.
“I said open my pants boy. Buckaroo told us you loved white cock and said we could borrow you tonight. Now get my pants opened up and start sucking me boy!”
I opened his pants and pulled down his underwear without having to be told to. Then I moved my head in to his cock, about 8 inches hard, and took it into my mouth. That’s when I tasted the White Star running down his cock into my mouth. I ended drinking nearly half the bottle while sucking his cock and again started loving the position I was in. The champagne helped relax me. I decided that these guys were going to leave here knowing they had been well serviced.
The power these white men had over me is difficult to explain. Knowing I was satisfying my second white stud tonight made me feel proud. He fucked my face and I took every inch of his white cock in until he blasted his cum into my throat. I loved it. This time it tasted wonderful and I drank every single drop.
I looked directly at him and said, “Your cum tastes wonderful sir. Thank you for sharing it with me.”
The guy with the camera came over to me and pulled down his shorts. He turned around and lay down on his stomach while handing the camera off to one of the others. “Boy, I need my ass licked. I’ve never had a whitey do it and I want you to be the first. And I expect you to do a damn fine job there!”
If there is one thing I like it’s being told what to do. If he had asked me to lick his ass I would have balked but he was in control and telling me what to do. I did exactly what he said to do and started licking his ass. I could tell he had showered not long ago and I attacked his ass with my tongue and lips, making sure he knew it didn’t bother me to service him this way.
After a few minutes he turned over and his 7″ cock was at full mast, ready to be serviced.
“Lick my balls boy. You need to please me more before you taste my cock.”
I gently took each of his hairy balls into my mouth, one at a time, and licked ever single inch of them, over and over again. Then I moved up his cock with my lips, kissing the thick head first, then slowly taking it inch by inch into my mouth, moving up and down slowly so he could enjoy himself and so I could taste him.
His friends were watching. They had opened another bottle of champagne and were getting into watching my mouth action. Both were sporting hard ons again.
After about 10 minutes of moving up and down, faster and slower on this black cock he finally stiffened and shot off in my mouth. This load was thicker than the last two, and I had to swallow six times before he finished using my mouth. Once again I looked into a black mans eyes and lied, “Your cum tastes wonderful sir. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.”
He grabbed a glass of champagne from his friends and I tired to also but was told I had to drink a beer instead.
“The champagne is for the white studs boy. But we promise you a taste of it very soon.”
I grabbed a beer and headed back to the bathroom, hoping they would get dressed and leave, knowing my jaw wasn’t going to be able to service any more cock tonight. I discovered the guys had moved into the bathroom so I walked into the room to see what was going to happen next.
“Okay boy,” Rodney said, “get into the tub and on your knees.”
I wasn’t sure how I was going to do this, as each of their cocks were hard and my mouth was killing me.
The three of them stood side by side as I moved to kiss each cock head, one at a time. Three white cocks, and I wanted them all again, no matter how much I hurt.
“Open your mouth boy, here comes the champagne.”
I did as I was told to do and suddenly realized what was going to happen, but too late. Three hot streams of piss shot into my mouth and I tried to swallow as much as possible, but I lost as much as I swallowed. I never thought it would end but finally, after gulping and gulping white mans piss, they finished.
“You are something else boy. I’ve never seen anyone so eager to please our white cocks. Don’t worry, you’ll get to see yourself in action on line later tonight.” They gave me a URL to visit on line, then they quickly dressed and left my apartment, joking and slapping themselves on their backs as they left, knowing they had the power to control me.
I took a very long, hot shower and drank a half a bottle of Listerine to try to rid my mouth of the taste of their piss and cum. I couldn’t believe what I let them do to me, but then again, I was so high on the thought that I had just successfully serviced three white men.
I hope you all enjoyed that. What can I say? That’s my story, and it’s how I came to love sucking dick, especially white dick.
I sucked a lot of dicks that year, but it wasn’t long before I craved more. I started to wonder what it would feel like to penetrated like a farm animal. I used to fantasize about having strong white men ram my head into my pillow and drilling my asshole. I even grew my afro out just to give them something to grab onto when they were fucking my face.
But don’t worry now. There will be more to come. Lots more to come as you learn more about me in……
and now ladies and gentlebitches, it’s time for another installment of ‘Greg’: cocksucker extraordinaire’
scene 1. ACTION!:
“Unbuckle my belt” , Buckaroo barked out his order like he was a drill Sergeant.
I looked up at him and shook my head. I was not liking where this was going one little bit. No way was I doing that.
“OK, then” he said and turned to leave. I panicked and grabbed his trousers and wouldn’t let him go and found my hands shakily undoing his large belt buckle until it came loose. When I undid it I looked up to see a look of triumph on Buckaroo’s face. I think he knew then that he had me.
He spoke to me as if I was a naughty child and he my strict headmaster.
“Now undo my button and lower my zip” the large bulge in his trousers was lengthening and stiffening as he spoke each word.
Despite myself I found my hands reaching forward and undoing the button at the top of his zip then automatically letting down the zip. At it’s lowest point the zip halted and with no other interaction his trousers plummeted to the ground around his ankles and to my growing horror I discovered he wasn’t wearing any underpants and a giant penis was rearing up at me inches from my face. I looked at it as it continued to stiffen and, while my estimates may have been off being so close to it, it was massive. It was easily 10 inches long and at least 2 inches in girth (thicker at the purple helmet so close to me).
For a long moment I was mesmerised by the large member bobbing in front of me, unable to take my eyes off it. I looked up eventually into the eyes of my blackmailer and knew there and then what I would have to do to get his silence. I was sickened and disgusted at the thought of being like this before Roger and being at his mercy, but I would be lying if I did not admit that there was a small part of me turned on by the situation.
“Big, isn’t it?” were the first words Buckaroo spoke after what seemed like hours. I just knelt there unable to coherently answer. The thing was it was big, much bigger than the small thing that hung between my legs, which was lucky to be 5 inches when fully erect.
“Come on, answer me, tell me how big I am” he demanded as his right hand slapped my cheek contemptuously.
I think I had zoned out and the confident, successful, normal me was being supplanted by a stammering, weak willed wimp.
“You are huge, massive, gigantic”, I feebly answered.
“Bigger than you?” he sneered.
“Oh Yes”, I answered far too quickly, which got a cruel laugh from above.
And then he said the words I had been dreading.
“I want you to lick it, if you don’t I am handing over that evidence.”
I swallowed slightly, said a little prayer to god, moved my head forwards, hesitated, paused, thought, then moved forward again this time extending my tongue past my teeth and was soon licking the tip of my rival’s rock hard cock. A shiver of humiliation and revulsion spread through me. How could I be doing this?
“Come on you can do better than that, I want you to lick the whole of it”.
I responded by following his command and before I knew it I was tracing the veiny outline of his cock with my tongue. Backwards then forwards, the helmet and below until for the first time my mouth made contact with another man’s pubic hair and balls. I nearly retched but continued to lick hoping this would please him enough not to pass on the info he had over me, knowing that it was unlikely to be so. It wasn’t.
“Right that’s enough lets see how much you can swallow. Come on get sucking, always thought you were a little cocksucker!” , he laughed at his own joke or maybe it was at the sight of me stretching my mouth and allowing the thick bell end of his penis to invade my mouth, swiftly followed by as much of the shaft of his cock as I could take.
He ordered me to swallow the residue as he wiped his messy cock in my hair and again I tasted it. To my amazement I found that it tasted OK, a little bland maybe but if you didn’t know where it had originated or what it was then it would have been no big deal. Thing was I did know and I still found myself excited, even more so when Roger bent over to pick up his trousers and sneakily felt my crotch, pawing my erection through the fabric of my trousers.
“I knew you’d get excited, I could tell. You’re my bitch now and don’t think this wipes out your debt. I’ll tell you know we’re going to be in here tomorrow at the same time and as well as repeating this I am going to force you to lick my arse. So I’ll leave it with you, be here and that happens, don’t and everyone finds out about what you’re like. And I don’t just mean your expenses (as he waved the camera at me).”
He left the toilet first, leaving me on my knees contemplating what had happened and my reactions to it. Eventually I stood up and faced the mirror. I was a mess, appearance wise and mentally – what had I done? I gulped down large mouthfuls of tap water trying to lose the taste of sperm but failing.
That night I let on nothing to Darnell but he sensed something was wrong with me and we had a quiet night. As I lay in bed, my boyfriend fast asleep I could not escape the image of me delivering a blow job to the man who once lusted after him, the humiliation I felt, and also the feelings of pleasure and excitement that I could not explain. The image of Buckaroo’s hairy arse also figured highly in my thoughts and although I tried to convince myself that there was no way I would lick it, I knew exactly what I would be doing tomorrow after work.
The next day was a blur to me. I couldn’t concentrate, made simple mistakes and could not bring myself to even look at Buckaroo. He by contrast was ebullient, making jokes in the office and generally being unusually merry. Around two thirty he cornered me at the water cooler.
“Been avoiding me, enigma? Funny, you seemed to be getting to know me intimately yesterday. Still prepared to do my bidding tonight?”
I nodded unconsciously, totally unsure as to what I should do.
“Good. Now here’s the thing, lets make it a bit more exciting shall we? I want you to head to the disabled toilet at five to six, once you are there I want you to strip naked, pile your clothes up neatly in the corner , hang this around your neck (handing me a piece of paper and string) and kneel on the floor. Do not lock the door.”
I looked at the sign, it read “I AM A WORTHLESS COCKSUCKER” in thick black writing and had string passed through the punch holes.
I shook my head weakly but before I could refuse to do it, he reminded me of the evidence he possessed as to my cheating the company and the pictures he had taken last night as I had sucked his cock. He left me there saying, “We both know you’ll do the right thing, besides remember how excited you got last evening.”
He was right, by five past six that night I was naked and on my knees with the sign hung around my neck waiting for the door handle to crack downwards and Buckaroo to enter. I had been like that for ten minutes now and I cursed Buckaroo for making me wait – I also cursed myself for doing this, how pathetic was I? Then I heard steps approaching in the corridor and heard whistling. God, Buckaroo never whistled. What if it wasn’t him? What if it was someone else in the company? What if…..
The handle snapped down and into the small room stepped Buckaroo, he flashed me another crocodile smile and snapped a few pictures of me kneeling there in the nude with that sign around my neck. He locked the door behind him and his first act was to bend down and grope my exposed cock and balls, squeezing them in his hand until they reacted and my cock twitched under his touch. He smiled again and stripped off his suit and under garments until he stood in his naked glory before me. He was well put together for his age, if a little flabby but the over riding thought I had was how hairy he was. It was all over him, his arms, legs, chest, back and arse. And it was his arse I had a close up view right then as he bent forward, holding onto the door and reversed his big, hairy arse towards me to do the needful.
and now ladies and gentlebitches, it’s time for another installment of ‘Greg’: cocksucker extraordinaire’
scene 1. ACTION!:
“Unbuckle my belt” , Buckaroo barked out his order like he was a drill Sergeant.
I looked up at him and shook my head. I was not liking where this was going one little bit. No way was I doing that.
“OK, then” he said and turned to leave. I panicked and grabbed his trousers and wouldn’t let him go and found my hands shakily undoing his large belt buckle until it came loose. When I undid it I looked up to see a look of triumph on Buckaroo’s face. I think he knew then that he had me.
He spoke to me as if I was a naughty child and he my strict headmaster.
“Now undo my button and lower my zip” the large bulge in his trousers was lengthening and stiffening as he spoke each word.
Despite myself I found my hands reaching forward and undoing the button at the top of his zip then automatically letting down the zip. At it’s lowest point the zip halted and with no other interaction his trousers plummeted to the ground around his ankles and to my growing horror I discovered he wasn’t wearing any underpants and a giant penis was rearing up at me inches from my face. I looked at it as it continued to stiffen and, while my estimates may have been off being so close to it, it was massive. It was easily 10 inches long and at least 2 inches in girth (thicker at the purple helmet so close to me).
For a long moment I was mesmerised by the large member bobbing in front of me, unable to take my eyes off it. I looked up eventually into the eyes of my blackmailer and knew there and then what I would have to do to get his silence. I was sickened and disgusted at the thought of being like this before Roger and being at his mercy, but I would be lying if I did not admit that there was a small part of me turned on by the situation.
“Big, isn’t it?” were the first words Buckaroo spoke after what seemed like hours. I just knelt there unable to coherently answer. The thing was it was big, much bigger than the small thing that hung between my legs, which was lucky to be 5 inches when fully erect.
“Come on, answer me, tell me how big I am” he demanded as his right hand slapped my cheek contemptuously.
I think I had zoned out and the confident, successful, normal me was being supplanted by a stammering, weak willed wimp.
“You are huge, massive, gigantic”, I feebly answered.
“Bigger than you?” he sneered.
“Oh Yes”, I answered far too quickly, which got a cruel laugh from above.
And then he said the words I had been dreading.
“I want you to lick it, if you don’t I am handing over that evidence.”
I swallowed slightly, said a little prayer to god, moved my head forwards, hesitated, paused, thought, then moved forward again this time extending my tongue past my teeth and was soon licking the tip of my rival’s rock hard cock. A shiver of humiliation and revulsion spread through me. How could I be doing this?
“Come on you can do better than that, I want you to lick the whole of it”.
I responded by following his command and before I knew it I was tracing the veiny outline of his cock with my tongue. Backwards then forwards, the helmet and below until for the first time my mouth made contact with another man’s pubic hair and balls. I nearly retched but continued to lick hoping this would please him enough not to pass on the info he had over me, knowing that it was unlikely to be so. It wasn’t.
“Right that’s enough lets see how much you can swallow. Come on get sucking, always thought you were a little cocksucker!” , he laughed at his own joke or maybe it was at the sight of me stretching my mouth and allowing the thick bell end of his penis to invade my mouth, swiftly followed by as much of the shaft of his cock as I could take.
He ordered me to swallow the residue as he wiped his messy cock in my hair and again I tasted it. To my amazement I found that it tasted OK, a little bland maybe but if you didn’t know where it had originated or what it was then it would have been no big deal. Thing was I did know and I still found myself excited, even more so when Roger bent over to pick up his trousers and sneakily felt my crotch, pawing my erection through the fabric of my trousers.
“I knew you’d get excited, I could tell. You’re my bitch now and don’t think this wipes out your debt. I’ll tell you know we’re going to be in here tomorrow at the same time and as well as repeating this I am going to force you to lick my arse. So I’ll leave it with you, be here and that happens, don’t and everyone finds out about what you’re like. And I don’t just mean your expenses (as he waved the camera at me).”
He left the toilet first, leaving me on my knees contemplating what had happened and my reactions to it. Eventually I stood up and faced the mirror. I was a mess, appearance wise and mentally – what had I done? I gulped down large mouthfuls of tap water trying to lose the taste of sperm but failing.
That night I let on nothing to Darnell but he sensed something was wrong with me and we had a quiet night. As I lay in bed, my boyfriend fast asleep I could not escape the image of me delivering a blow job to the man who once lusted after him, the humiliation I felt, and also the feelings of pleasure and excitement that I could not explain. The image of Buckaroo’s hairy arse also figured highly in my thoughts and although I tried to convince myself that there was no way I would lick it, I knew exactly what I would be doing tomorrow after work.
The next day was a blur to me. I couldn’t concentrate, made simple mistakes and could not bring myself to even look at Buckaroo. He by contrast was ebullient, making jokes in the office and generally being unusually merry. Around two thirty he cornered me at the water cooler.
“Been avoiding me, enigma? Funny, you seemed to be getting to know me intimately yesterday. Still prepared to do my bidding tonight?”
I nodded unconsciously, totally unsure as to what I should do.
“Good. Now here’s the thing, lets make it a bit more exciting shall we? I want you to head to the disabled toilet at five to six, once you are there I want you to strip naked, pile your clothes up neatly in the corner , hang this around your neck (handing me a piece of paper and string) and kneel on the floor. Do not lock the door.”
I looked at the sign, it read “I AM A WORTHLESS COCKSUCKER” in thick black writing and had string passed through the punch holes.
I shook my head weakly but before I could refuse to do it, he reminded me of the evidence he possessed as to my cheating the company and the pictures he had taken last night as I had sucked his cock. He left me there saying, “We both know you’ll do the right thing, besides remember how excited you got last evening.”
He was right, by five past six that night I was naked and on my knees with the sign hung around my neck waiting for the door handle to crack downwards and Buckaroo to enter. I had been like that for ten minutes now and I cursed Buckaroo for making me wait – I also cursed myself for doing this, how pathetic was I? Then I heard steps approaching in the corridor and heard whistling. God, Buckaroo never whistled. What if it wasn’t him? What if it was someone else in the company? What if…..
The handle snapped down and into the small room stepped Buckaroo, he flashed me another crocodile smile and snapped a few pictures of me kneeling there in the nude with that sign around my neck. He locked the door behind him and his first act was to bend down and grope my exposed cock and balls, squeezing them in his hand until they reacted and my cock twitched under his touch. He smiled again and stripped off his suit and under garments until he stood in his naked glory before me. He was well put together for his age, if a little flabby but the over riding thought I had was how hairy he was. It was all over him, his arms, legs, chest, back and arse. And it was his arse I had a close up view right then as he bent forward, holding onto the door and reversed his big, hairy arse towards me to do the needful.
Ooops, I accidently posted this out of sequence. Scroll down and enjoy my life story. hehe
smoooochessss. muah
aight muthafuckas,
I’m back with anotha instollment of:
‘Greg’: cocksucker extraordinaire’
scene 5. ACTION!
I felt sick yet unmistakably there was further twitching in my groin, good grief I was turned on by this!
“Come on Bitch, get that tongue of yours working. What’s wrong? You’re not usually so quiet, you’re usually such a cocky little bastard. Come on get on with it.”
I closed my eyes, my face red with shame and humiliation but my groin stirring with excitement and tentatively extended my tongue and licked the rough and hairy skin of Buckaroo’s ass. I gave it a few laps with my tongue and hope that would please him but he shifted his legs apart, reached around grabbed the back of my head and forcibly pushed my face deep into ass crack and told me in no uncertain terms to “get that tongue of mine working harder.”
The smell of manhood and sweat was overpowering, though to my relief it appeared he had cleaned his asshole prior to this so it wasn’t quite the nauseating experience I dreaded. But still as my tongue began to probe his tight, puckered asshole I could barely comprehend what this man was making me do. Just days ago I had thought of him as nothing, a blip on my radar, a nobody who I was so superior to. Yet here I was rimming his asshole and from my cock’s reactions I was getting off on doing it. He evidently was as well as I could literally feel his skin stretch and tighten between his asshole and scrotum and I licked it and I sensed he had a huge erection from what we were doing.
After giving this rimjob for at least ten minutes, Buckaroo pulled his ass off my tongue and whirled round, clearly on the verge of cumming. I opened my mouth automatically, expecting him to want me to dink his juice again but he had other plans. He pulled back on his cock and directed a thick stream of white cum over my face, he pumped continuously and emptied his balls load over me. Splashing trails into my eyes, onto my nose, lips, hair, everywhere covering me in his cum.
“Stay like that Bitch.”
He fumbled in his pile of clothes to produce his camera and take a string of photos of me kneeling my face covered in cum, no doubt to add to his collection. I just knelt there, feeling impotent in his power but my own cock very obviously erect in the pictures of me acting as his cum dump.
“Stand up, I want to see your pathetic effort” he ordered.
Worryingly I was becoming ever more obedient to Buckaroo and starting to forget that I was only doing this because he was blackmailing me. Increasingly I was doing it because he told me to and I was feeling more and more subservient to him, I stood before stark naked, with his sticky cum plastered all over my features and my cock hard and erect pointing at him. He reached over and gave my balls a grope and made a few condescending remarks about the size (lack of) of my cock and told me that he wanted to watch me masturbate for him.
Somewhat self conscious of my predicament I may have been but there was no hesitation in me reaching down and gripping my member and furiously pumping it with my hand. I closed my eyes as I quickly came to climax but Buckaroo ordered me to open them and look at him and to shoot my load onto the shiny floor. I came furiously, not nearly the load that Buckaroo had ejaculated but a lot for me. I fired it in strings onto the floor and onto the door until I stood, spent with a limp dick in my hand.
Buckaroo reached down and picked up my boxer shorts and wiped his messy cock clean on them, as he did so he told me matter of factly to clean my mess up. I moved to get a paper towel only to be ordered to use only my mouth to clean it up. I flashed him a glance of “What?????”
“Something wrong Bitch? Your tongue’s done worse today hasn’t it? Get on with it and when you lick it up keep it in your mouth. Don’t swallow it until I say so.”
So I got down onto my hands and knees and traced my tongue over the trails of semen I had spurted over the toilet while Buckaroo calmly got dressed. I licked the surface of the floor and up the door until I felt I had captured it all then knelt before Buckaroo with a mouthful of cum and my face splattered with his cum, like a dog begging in front of it’s master. He pushed my mouth open so he could see the load my mouth held. He leaned down and spat into my mouth and told me to swallow. I did, tasting myself for the first time.
He told me to get dressed as he moved to leave and left me with these comments “Tomorrow’s Friday, if you do as I say tomorrow then I will hand over my file and my pictures, you’ll have bought me off. In saying that at six tomorrow night I will expect you to be stretched over the Boardroom table, stark naked and arse in the air”, he paused then said “Have you ever been fucked in the ass before?”
I nearly called in sick the next day I didn’t know what to do or really how I felt and maybe ignoring the problem would make it go away. Julie knew something was up but I couldn’t let her know and really it was her that convinced me to go in the next day, if I could go through with it, let Buckaroo do what he wanted, have his fun with me then I would get the evidence and destroy it. Darnell would never know and life could go back to normal. Yes, I really was that naïve (or dumb).
But as scary as the situation was to me, it confused me as well. I had never had any thoughts that I may be gay and yet when Roger had had me do those things to him in the toilet I had been turned on. I had been excited by what I was doing and may try to deny it but the truth was that there was a part of me that was aroused by what Roger had planned for me. God, I was confused.
So I made it into work and sat like a zombie at my desk most of the day. Buckaroo ignored me largely but around three in the afternoon he whisper to me the following instruction ” At the time I said I want to enter the Boardroom and find you stripped naked and stretched across the table facing away from the door, I’ll knock twice before I come in and if I don’t find you in that position then I am going to hand over that folder. Understand? Good, be seeing you” and with that he took a quick grope of my groin and moved on.
This night everyone went home a bit earlier and the cleaners were in and out earlier to so the place was deserted as I walked into the Boardroom. It was quite a large room and when you entered you were greeted by wall lined with soft chairs and a small table with coffee and accessories, to the left was a large wooden table surrounded by twelve chairs where meetings tended to take place. The wall was lined by a window that looked out the twelfth floor of our office building.
I took a big gulp and peeled off all of my clothes, my heart hammering like a drum I then stretched over the width of the table with my back to the door and gripped the far side with my fingers and awaited the knock. I can’t deny that my cock was hard in anticipation.
After a short while I heard two loud knocks on the door and the door being pushed open. They made me jump, coming as they did in the silence of the deserted office space (and the certain knowledge of what would soon follow). I heard him walking behind me and as instructed I kept myself bent over the table, not looking back, unsure if I could look Buckaroo in the eye. Of course it struck me that Buckaroo may be setting me up, maybe it wasn’t him back there. But then who would it be. And, yes, I was excited and turned on by this. I knew that even as my stiffening cock strained against the edge of the table.
It was Buckaroo though, back there. He said “Good” as he got behind me and I felt his hand trace the curves of my arse before spanking it twice as if I were a naughty child he had to discipline, indeed, that was how I felt in Buckaroo ’s presence now. I heard him unzipping and dropping his trousers and closed my eyes in preparation for my penetration. I was concerned, I mean I had never been taken anally in any shape or form previously and Roger, as my mouth could testify, had a long and thick cock. The thought of that thing inside me was not without worry. But increasingly I wanted to experience it, I wanted the evidence back but more than that I was curious and also felt that I needed to please Buckaroo .
I was shocked from my thoughts as I felt a slippery finger slide across my backside (at least he had used plenty of lube), it moved inexorably towards my sphincter and once there easily pushed passed resisting muscle to penetrate me and prod roughly inside me. I gave a low moan of pleasure and felt him send a second finger up next to the first to loosen me up a bit more. It was good, exciting and a turn on for me to be taken like this and then I felt the large tip of his cock’s helmet nudge against my asshole.
He was surprisingly gentle with me, slowly easing my buttocks apart and easing his cock into me until it was in past the helmet. God it was too large to be up there and I felt it would soon burst through into my stomach as he eased it deeper and deeper with gentle thrusts until he informed me that he was “balls deep inside you Bitch.” Then he began to fuck me. He was rough and relentless, shuddering into me hard and fast with no heed of my cries of astonishment and pain (and pleasure). He took a handful of my hair and pulled myself back onto him as he impaled me and thrust powerfully inside me. I was lost in the intensity of it all otherwise maybe I would have heard the door open. But I didn’t.
About then he got much more vocal with me.
“Good you’re enjoying that aren’t you bitch? You love it in your arse don’t you?”
“Yes” I cried in agreement.
“You’re my Bitch now aren’t you? You’re my cocksucking fag eh? Come on tell me what you are? I want you to scream it for me.”
“Yes. Ye-es. I’m your Bitch, your cocksucking Bitch. Master. Yes. Ugh! Yes. Fuck me. Yes.”
All at once he came inside me filling my distended anus with his hot sticky fluid until he pulled out and I felt it dribble down my thighs. As he pulled out of me I caught a movement to my right and looked around to find myself staring into the eyes of Darnell, my lovely boyfriend. There were tears in his eyes as he watched the scene before him unfold.
I slid off the table and landed, kneeling at Buckaroo’s feet his now semi-erect dick inches from my mouth and covered in the detritus of what he had plunged into inside me mixed with the lube. Buckaroo laughed and spoke directly to me, ignoring Darnell. “I took the trouble of inviting your boyfriend over to see what we’ve been up to when you’ve been late home these last few days. Aren’t you glad he saw that you are now my Bitch? Come on show how grateful you are to me by sucking me nice and clean.”
I looked again at my boyfriend and wanted to go to him and assure him I had been blackmailed into this but the truth was I wanted more to suck his cock, I wanted to be his Bitch and he to be my Master so I opened my mouth and engulfed his cock as I heard Darnell slam the door on me and my previous life. Buckaroo standing over me just chuckled and became hard once more at my oral ministrations
Still…you haven’t said WHY you think what I said is full of shit.
That smacks of intellectual laziness at best and pig ignorance at worst.
All you’ve done is insult, which frankly, any moron can do….and I’d like to think you’re smarter than that.
I do not agree with Greg (who is clearly OTT) and was actually trying to change this from a slagging match to maybe an exchange of different points of view…I’d quite like to hear what people think about it….
What I actually posted above is actually quite moderate if you bother to read it (and certainly not homophobic).
Please show some common courtesy as I have done for you.
HAHAHAHA! LoL
I will take the high road and for the first time, I will consider up grading your status from dumbass to buttwipe. Consider that an honor. After rereading your orginal post, I decided your not as dumb as first suggested. BUT, the mere fact that you remotely agree with Greg is a very bad sign. I will give you the benefit of the doubt, This time.
put alil love in your heart
😉
happy fucking thanksgiving.
Yo yo yo! (fist pump) Time fo anotha instollmunt of:
‘Greg’: cocksucker extraordinaire’
I held his throat and went for a second kiss. Holding his throat tightly seemed to excite us both. By now my cock was rock-hard. I pulled away from the kiss and pulled his face to my briefs. My cock was at an angle, fully outlined through the briefs. “Suck,” I said. He began to suck me through the cotton, my briefs getting wet with his saliva. “Put your hands on your knees,” I added. He complied and I pulled down my briefs. I stroked my cock for him to see. I have been very lucky; my cock is long, thick and supposedly attractive. His mouth was wide open. I eased my cock partially in, only allowing him the head to suck. “Do you want more?” I asked. He grunted yes through his full mouth. I held the front of his throat with one hand, the back of his head with the other and fed him the full length of my cock. I could feel him gag when I pressed further in. I began to face fuck him in earnest. I noticed he was stroking himself as he sucked me. I said, “Do not even think of cumming, we have a very long night ahead.”
I stood him up and guided him to a nearby wall. I pressed his nude back against the wall. It must have been cold because he jumped when he made contact. I pressed my body to his and we began to stroke one another. It was very hot. We looked into each other’s eyes, smiling with lust.
“I want to use you tonight, are you cool with that?” I asked.
“Yes, being dominated is the most exciting thing I’ve ever done. I want more please,” he said.
“Get on the bed, face up,” I said. He did so and I grabbed him under his arms and pulled him to the edge of the bed, letting his head hang down. His mouth naturally opened and I slid my cock into it. I began to fuck that beautiful black face. I reached in front of me and stroked his cock. I bent forward and took his thick black cock into my mouth. We slowly sucked one another, our passion building.
I pulled free and got on the bed with him. Sitting with my back to the wall, I told him to bend down and suck me. He went as deep as he possibly could, his gag reflex occasionally kicking in. I sucked my own fingers, getting them wet with saliva. I leaned forward and guided the wet fingers into his ass. I slipped two in with ease. When he gagged on my cock, I could feel his sphincter contract. We stayed in that position for a long time. He was becoming addicted to my cock. I was getting close to cumming, but it was too soon. “Let’s take a break,” I said.
He hung his mouth open, “Are you sure, I want some more of your cock.”
“Yes, just for a bit.” I answered.
We sipped our drinks and slowly stroked our respective cocks. “So, how do you like being dominated?” I asked.
“I’ve never even fantasized about it, but it’s amazing. I think you’ve shown me a new part of my life,” he answered.
“It can be good; especially if both partners know limits and just let go. You know I’ll never really hurt you, but I may want to give you a little pain,” I said.
“Pain? How much?”
“Maybe some spanking, some slapping.”
“God, just talking about it makes me hard; I want to try it.”
“Good. Put your drink down and then bend over on the bed,” I said. He did as I asked. He had such low body fat that I could actually see the fibers of his muscles in his taught black ass cheeks. First I got some lotion for the nightstand. I had learned that a thin layer of lotion would cause the spanking to be much sharper. I applied some of it to his ass, it glistened in the dim light. I gripped the back of his neck with my left hand, pushing his face into the bed. With my right hand, I smacked both cheeks. He jumped with each smack. “Is it good?” I asked.
“Yes, more please. I can’t believe a ’straight’ guy is showing me something about sex.” I hit him again, several hard flat slaps. His ass and my hand were getting warm. “God that’s good,” he said.
I pushed him around so his ass was now facing directly towards me. “Spread you knees,” I directed. He did so and his dark hole became more exposed. I leaned forward and began to wash the ring with my tongue. His face was in his hands, yet I could hear him moan. His asshole began to twitch with each lap. “Can I fuck you?” I asked.
“Yes, I really want you to.”
I found some lube and applied it liberally to my cock. I placed the tip at his entrance. I gripped his hip with one hand then drove into him. He arched his back in response. When I was fully deep into him, I reached my left arm around his throat, pulling his body to mine. He twisted his head so that we could kiss. I held him like that; making slow, short strokes in his ass.
I reached around and gripped his hard cock. I slid my hand to the base of it and squeezed hard; the end filling with blood. He pulled away from the kiss and moaned, “I have never wanted anyone like this before. Use me, use me.”
I slipped my cock from his ass and guided him to his back. I pushed his knees apart and back. He willing complied with my every move. I added more lube to my cock and again entered him. I knelt down to kiss him. He was holding his knees back and I crushed my chest to his. We kissed for what seemed like hours. I pushed myself up and began to fuck him, hard. He was stroking his cock as I fucked away. I knew he was close, so I increased my speed; long deep strokes. His head was back, his eyes closed. Suddenly he shot ropes of hot cum up his tight chest. This set me off and I pulled out and finished myself, spewing my own hot cum into the puddle on his chest. I collapsed onto him, a layer of sticky cum between us. He held my face in his hands and kissed me like a lover. “Thank you, thank you,” he sighed.
We rested. When we awoke, I said, “In the bathroom you’ll find a facecloth. Soak it in hot water and come back to clean us up.” He did as asked and lovingly cleaned his chest and mine.
“What are you doing to me?” he asked. “I’ve never been a bottom, but I want this more than anything before,” he continued.
“Make me hard again,” I told him. I lie down on the bead while he stood near me. He bent down and took my soft cock in his mouth. He slowly sucked me. I could feel his tongue swirling around my cock. It grew hard in his mouth, the volume doubling, then tripling. Soon he crawled on the bed and began to service me; sucking me, stroking my shaven balls.
He grabbed my hips and asked me to turn around. “I want to taste your ass please,” he said. I turned and spread. His hands held my ass cheeks apart and he ate me with vigor; licking, lapping, probing with his tongue. He would stop for a moment and smell my musky hole, breathing me in. It was an incredible experien