By far, the easiest way to befriend a large group of white people is to organize and then participate in a game that is normally played by children. Unlike the practice of having their parents help with rent, this activity is a pleasant reminder to white people that they have not fully severed their ties with childhood.
When it comes to outdoor games, the most popular one remains kickball. In fact, you might have noticed groups of white people at the park playing this game in loosely organized leagues (see #65 Co-Ed Sports for further explanation). Though kickball is by far the most popular, if you were to suggest a game of capture the flag, Red Rover (pictured), British Bulldog, Tag, or even Hide and Go Seek your popularity would with white people would skyrocket. In addition, you would likely become a legend in your office.
Once the game has actually been organized and you are at the event, things will pretty much just sort themselves out. White people will be so happy to be outside reliving their childhood, that they will all be in a good mood. But if you want to take it to the next level, you should have a friend show up and say to one of the white people: “excuse me, what are you people doing?” The white person will tell them what game they are playing and promptly issue an invitation. To which your friend should say “I’m sorry, I’m an adult. You 
people are crazy.” It will make the white person feel great and give them a story for years to come
If you do not know enough white people for a large outdoor game or do not have access to adequate space, you are not out of luck. White people are also quite fond of indoor activities, especially ones that can be easily combined with alcohol. Therefore it is a rock-solid guarantee that you will gain white friends if you suggest a social gathering where people drink and play old board games like Candyland, The Game of Life, or Mouse Trap. Just the suggestion of an event like this will get them more excited than word of a new Trader Joe’s opening. (Note the photo evidence of success in this photo from Attus Apparel)
It’s a good idea to space out these events or else you become “that weird guy who always wants to play Fireball Island.”
Photo of game of Red Rover from zacharmstrong
Stuff White People Like 
haha.. white people do love playing board games..a little too much sometimes.
You should have mentioned “Twister.”
first?
congratulations erik. no really.
white grown ups also love playing in organized teams for ultimate frisbee ๐
What the fuck are you talking about? I’m white and I’ve never played any of these games as an adult. Ever.
And I can’t think of any white people that I know who do. Except with their children or nieces or nephews.
don’t forget the recent dodgeball renaissance.
This is one of the better ones lately.
Oh so true! Can’t wait for the book. Will be buying a few copies for friends and family ๐ Still doing great posts!!!!! Way to go
to paraphrase Agatha. . .โIโm sorry, Iโm an adult. You people are crazy.โ
thanks for giving us game playing crackers a story for years to come.
it’s too true hehe
Monopoly (or one of the local town versions White people buy for their little enclaves) are good, Scrabble works, too.
CandyLand is for quart-swillin’ fags. Take that hat off when you’re inside, you poser.
Chutes and Ladders RAWKS, however.
Holy shit. I think my DAD is on one of those leagues. Color me white. How embarrassing.
It keeps us from having to talk to our guests.
WRONG KIND OF WHITE PERSON ALERT.
Speaking as a white person, I find you omission of Dodgeball to be a grand oversight.
Pendel,
Fricking took the words right out of my mouth.
Even better…. I play dodgeball with my flamboyantly gay hairstylist and his friends in the park on sundays, thus killing two birds with one stone.
I am looking under my coffee table at fireball island right now and wondering why I’m not playing.
I’m beginning to think I’m really in touch with my inner honky.
Not trying to being a grammar-guru, so just a heads-up… re-read your post. ๐
Oh! And I’m totally playing into the grammar stereotype a month or so back. That’s why I subscribe to this blog. =D
How about margaritas & wii night? definitely a fav around these parts.
Thing is, nothing will get White People more excited than the prospect of a new Whole Foods opening.
http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
And if you’ve met our guests, you’d know why. They’re all well-to-do yuppies, with no perspective outside the finer things in their brand of selfish altruism. They’re all upper-middle class.
Well, except for our Black Friend.
http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
There’s a legitimate adult interest in that game.
That would be a surreal spectacle. Kind of like watching those freaks do Tai Chi in the park.
Poor People like playing games because they are free.
http://www.poorpeoplelikepizza.blogspot.com
White People with PhDs like to play Cranium. White People with Masters degrees like to play Life. White People with Bachelors Degrees like to play Trivial Pursuit because we think it’s an intellectual game and we hope it helps us compensate for the fact that we only have a Bachelors. Then when we get drunk enough, we all like to play Twister because it’s as close as many uptight White People may get at true group sex.
While my fellow WKOWP and I would rather have a football or poker game (or a root canal), I have too many cousins I wouldn’t put past doing this.
Especially the ones from the Hamptons, which deserve a post of their own.
I’m curious, where do you live?
White people definitely do things like this in NYC. Especially the corporate ones.
http://Blog-AroundHarlem.com
LOL @ wrong kind of white person alert.
31st comment!
So far I disagree with most of the top 100…so I made my own list
10. Bruce Campbell – Only white people know who he is!
9. Computer Jobs 97% whiteโฆ3% Indian
8. Stock prices โ Who the fuck else pays attention?
7. oxycotton โ Donโt like the stigma of Crack, donโt like the shady coke dealers โฆOXYcotton preferred drug of choice by white people and available at your local RX!
5. WWII – How many non white people do you see in Saving Private Ryan or on the history channel?
6. Golf โ Besides Tiger Woods no other race would be caught dead in those clothes.
5. Viagra โ Because we like to feel like weโre black.
4. Bob Marley – Stoner hippie white-folk are the only ones buying his albums.
3. Classic Rock โ We are the only group that thinks its classic.
2. Power -Not the power where YOU expect people to follow you, but the power were the PEOPLE expect to follow you.
1. NasCar โ Currently the biggest pastime with large engine cars, bikini clad ladies and an excuse to drink! What is more white America then that.
Yes, Wii and Guitar Hero have taken over some of the normal white people park activities. So much so that now old white people buy Wii and Guitar Hero after their children have left home. It’s probably a white people empty nest syndrome.
Oh I know. Games seem so tedious to me. I played them when I was a kid and that was fine, but now I’d rather do other things. All the other white people in my family love games & try to make me feel guilty for not wanting to play them.
No way is Dodgeball a white people’s game, at least not the “right kind” of white people. Dodgeball is game of humiliation, degradation and exclusion. It in no way affirms the self-esteem or the inherent uniqueness of each participant, only the winner. People who would tear others down to win at dodgeball are the same type of people who would tear down a locally owned business in the name of pure greed and profiteering.
Oh man, I โค Fireball Island!
AMAZING.
Favorite Outdoor Game When Summering In Maine: Treasure Hunt that includes nail-studded chest filled with Mardi Gras necklaces and other “pirates bootie.”.
Favorite Vintage 1972 Board Game: Masterpiece
This post is so true. My first encounter with this phenomena was at the Albatross in Berkeley. Hordes of white people actually cram into a bar with countless varieties of IPA and wait patiently for their group’s turn to play a crappy board game. Nobody even finishes a game, they just get drunk instead. Reminded me of high school, only sadder ๐ฆ
You know… I would venture to say this is the one I’ve observed in the very least in White Cultureโข. I can’t remember an instance off-hand. It’s a first with this blog.
-http://profileofadipshit.wordpress.com
You forgot hidden treasures like Mini Golf and Laser Tag – both huge hits in my area.
justin,
Sorry, but for the Bob Marley, Power, and Golf, all the things you listed are only enjoyed by the WKOWP.
You know what’s funny? I’m from New York City.
And I honestly have never heard of white people playing children’s games.
Then, I’m not a yuppie, don’t have much money, don’t go to house parties or play any sports and being Polish-American, I don’t travel in the same circles Americans do :P.
Curses, grammar check!!
It was meant to read “but for the exception of.”
At lunchtime during the warmer months, people from my office can be found in the parking lot playing foursquare (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_square) while wearing khakis. The average age of participants is 32.
I would say that while I like board games, the ones I played as a child have no appeal. I despise Monopoly. For me, and perhaps others, ‘obscure/foreign board games’ would be appropriate.
This one misses the mark for me. Of course, I have two kids and I am a substitute teacher so I have to play plenty of kids games with actual kids. If my friends tried to get me to play kids games in my off time I would run the other way!
It may miss the mark for some because these games are mostly played by younger white adults looking to be “ironic” in the way they spend their time. Or if they’re bored and have no money.
http://theleftovers.wordpress.com/
Don’t forget Jenga. White people are all over that wooden block action.
The guys I lived with my senior year of college were perhaps the whitest white people I’ve ever encountered. I’ve been ticking off all the characteristics that apply to them as you add new posts, and you’re batting about .900 so far.
As for the board games, not only were they ALWAYS wanting to play Monopoly or Risk, but they also enjoyed throwing slumber parties (people would come over in pajamas and we’d find some cots and all sleep in the living room) and having dress-up parties (not college-type parties that are just excuses for girls to dress like sluts, but totally random kiddie stuff like cowboys & indians or knights & maidens). I always thought it was incredibly weird, but they were all into it so I figured it was just the done thing. Now I see the situation is much worse than I feared.
Spot on.
I almost peed my pants with excitement, just thinking about being a part of *any* of those scenarios.
Scattergories FTW!
you nailed it man
this blog is fucking hilarious! i noticed the grammar thing the other day with one of my coworkers. they get so upset! it’s a riot!
white people always do funny things like this and proclaim how AWESOME it is
http://www.thewhyblog.net
When I was in law school, I played cooties with a friend for five hours.
And then we cuddled.
http://athenasmom.wordpress.com/
Um, “Apples to Apples” happens to be the number one white game right now, because you can easily play it at the office, all you need is the cards…..its incredibly white, for the white on the go.
Its all about the wii tennis, and mario cart racing, there are hours and hours of fun with those, especially if booze in involved.
White people love whole foods openings, but have you ever seen how they act when a West Elm opens? completely crazy……West Elm, whitest store on the planet!!!! it makes Ikea look like Walmart.
No people with Bachelors degrees play Apples to Apples, everyone of my sisters and brother play Apples to Apples, and we all have a bachelors.
WRONG KIND OF WHITE PERSON ALERT! nascar, are you kidding me? it hurts mother nature
OMG FOUR SQUARE IS AWESOME! DONT FORGET TEATHER BALL!
White people like Risk because it makes us believe that we can control the world……………………….again
cuddle-parties. nuff said.
He lives in LA, were all the fun white people live.
Fricking hilarious….love the comments…I believe I feel my IQ rising…raising…increasing with each read. Love kickball as long as I don’t get grass stains on my vintage clothing. Kickball? Is it not a true variation of the ultimate–soccer? Perhaps I should mull this over and validate this fascinating white thought.
White people do love their Wii.
what about hopscotch- the white girls double dutch
We combine our love of co-ed, outdoor team sports with kickball and beer. Nothing really get better than that, except when we combine drinking with another classic children’s game – duck, duck goose. Sometimes it can get a little out of hand…but it provides great fodder for cocktail parties.
Apples to Apples…
Oxycotton? LMAO Oh man, I’m howling. I think you mean “oxycontin”. And NASCAR is an acronym for National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing, so all the letters are capitalized.
I do agree with the Bruce Campbell thing, though. He rocks.
Let’s not forget Stratego!
This is brilliant! By the second paragraph I was immediately compelled to read it aloud to my father, and relate it to my fraternity house’s fondness for games of Capture the Flag as a recruitment event and elevation of Monopoly to bloodsport.
We’re so passionate about Monopoly that we’ve created house rules like: “If you’re distracted by the TV you miss your turn (a case for #28 Not Having a TV)”, “If your not playing, you have to get beer for the players”. It’s so intense that a couple of the guys studying Business and Economics have developed financial formulas to buy and sell the non-property squares (Income Tax, Luxury Tax, Chance, and Community Chest). We can usually finish a game in under 90 minutes thus proving that Monopoly games do end.
Keep on the good work.
You make me smile & this blog is so intelligent.
It’s make me more optimist .
I write a french blog in english.
Don’t be scared it’s about fashion and trends.
This may well be proof that you are either not actually white or are class deficient. A well sourced genealogy of your family may explain wherein lies the problem.
Please feel comfortable being of mixed racial heritage. Your white friends will be amazed and delighted!
As for class distinctions, aside from a minute percentage of white Americans, changes often occur from generation to the next. For example, I had to go back eight generations in my own family to find aristocratic connections (in the colonies, the clergy were were the aristocracy).
um….so invite someone more interesting.
JESUS WAS A BLACK MAN LYNCHED ITALIAN STYLE.
http://www.tucc.org
I dislike white people the more I read this. What a gaggle of morons.
Cowboys and Indians was a very memorable children’s game. The way to play it as an adult is to replace the cap gun with a real hand gun, aim at Tonto and shoot.
Ha I was just about to say that…
I don’t get why all my adult white friends love it so much. I suppose it’s a more convenient version of Taboo?
Either way, I always beat them, so I don’t mind playing occasionally.
I like to play Twister, but in my outdoor clothing. Is that wrong?
Then be whiter!
HAHAhAh, man, this is so true, I live in sweden (I’m not swedish) and all about this blog seems to be a field research about all this northern european countries, it’s mad!! Though Iโm white, I could never do most of the things this people think itโs cool or funny , itโs bizarre and so lameโฆ but anyway, all good people in their own corny wayโฆ.
Your individuality has nothing to do with the stereotypes enjoyed by those reading this blog.
Whole Foods blows. What is the attraction? Too goddam expensive, and their hipster employees are often surly and rude. Ethnic markets and shops have cheaper produce and w/ no attitude. Or just buy from those Mexican guys selling produce out of their trucks.
I was going to draw the same comparison to the Albatross!
Only, in my version my friends and I have a grand time playing Apples to Apples, while drinking Anchor Steam (since we really love our SF microbrews) after well all just stood still at a concert for a band you have not heard of yet.
Anyone wanna play some leap frog?
Meh, this one’s off the mark for me. I find no “click” in this one. Oh well, this blog is still hilarious, and they can’t all be gems for me. Others have found more truth in this so I guess we’re gathering a UNION of stuff white people like, since our white buddy in Sweden found it clicked for this person.
Since there’s been so much division, I’ll take a “meh” post to see a little more unity.
I’m am SOOOOooo white, so very very white, and for the most part, so unashamed about it as well.
Carry on, nothing to see here.
haha. that is so true clander. White people, such as Myself, love boardgames. My favorite is operation.
anyway….I HATE YOU TUCC!!
http://stuffgodhates.wordpress.com/
Well yeah, there’s an adult interest all right. Dunno about it being legitimate.
This is so true. Just the thought of a white friend calling out in the pub that we should have a quick game of Mouse Trap with some wedges makes my white little enthusiasms go crazy!
Nailed it with this one!
I think it is right on the money, because it ties in perfectly with #50: Irony. https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/03/50-irony/
Two New Years Eve’s ago my girlfriend and I went to a party at this giant mansion that my friend was house-sitting at and the next morning, at breakfast, we all sat around hung-over talking about what everyone had planned for the day. Just being funny, not being serious at all, I said, “You know what this house is perfect for? Hide-and-seek.” And I swear everyone’s (white) faces lit up with excitement and their hang-overs disappeared. I meant it as a joke and suddenly everyone’s standing up, anxiously talking about possible hiding spots. I immediately regretted even saying it since I was hung-over and thought I might vomit at any moment. Then before I knew it everyone had scattered to hide. My girlfriend and I decided not to be a-holes since I guess I came up with the idea, so I spent all day in closets, under beds, and inside cardboard moving boxes trying not to puke on myself.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned the ultra-white game of touch football. Leave it to a bunch of lame white pricks to take the ENTIRE POINT of a sport such as gridiron football and neuter it by making it “touch” instead of tackle. Oh but “we want everyone to have a chance to play”, not everyone can climb a fucking mountain either but that doesn’t mean we’re installing escalators. What losers. I can’t wait to get out of this fucking town.
I loved playing red rover, red rover, until I broke a woman’s arm playing it in high school.
Hahaha, I spent an hour Sunday watching kickball and softball in the park. As it turns out, the kickball is still hard to catch, and will still knock people silly if it catches them instead. Great fun, and some good catches on the day.
*point*, *laugh*
And again, clander, thanks for adding comment nesting. your blog is now a rung up the evolutionary chain from any comment-taking site that doesn’t follow the same practice.
It’s not only indoor board games that can be accessorized with alcohol.
May I present Hopscotch for your consideration:
-danielle’s Drunken Hopscotch-
the rules as follows:
1: Must be initiated before noon. (simple as drawing the squares or buying the beer; IDEALLY, game start.) Lagging is forgiven, pre-staging is not.
2: Rule #1 is sacred.
—-
Guidelines:
Miller High Life is the Unofficial Sponsor: (yes, I know it’s crappy, but it is the champagne of beers, and may I point out it accommodates the need to feel “wid’ it” if drunk from a 32 oz. bottle in a paper bag in the front yard.)
The hopscotch squares should NOT be uniform. In fact, some squares, hopefully the most necessary ones, should be smaller than an adult foot.
Trial and Error has determined that spraypaint on grass is the safest arena for this activity, as adults are fragile and should not be subjected to falling that frequently on concrete, no matter how fun it is.
The rules for drinking are arbitrary, but a suggestion is assigning random numbers: requiring that many pulls from the bottle at the point of failure in the hopping. General Hopscotch rules apply. (Note: don’t feel limited to choosing numbers 1-10; it’s your game -get drunk)
– – – – –
I’ll get old, but you can’t make me grow up.
danielle was here
jello wrestling can be considered legitimate, why not twister?
danielle was here
Is it a dog park?
a little Vince Vaughn is all it takes.
I love Bruce Campbell. He’s a slice of home-pimp.
but yeah, you’re right, too. (except it’s “oxycontin”)
danielle was here
So selfish of you: you know all the rules!
FREE PUTTY KNIFE that any white person would like This putty knife makes putty go on smooth and also diminishes your sense of self-worth! Catch the Fever! Woot.
no we don’t! we only THINK we have rhythm. Double dutch proves us wrong.
read that wrong…
yeah, hopscotch is the white-girls’ double-dutch…
my hometown Thanksgiving tradition of “Turkey Bowl” isn’t a wussy game of any sort. It’s only called “touch football” to help limit the injuries and slow the eventual progression into no-holds-barred Ultimate Fighting Championship before we all break for dinner.
danielle was here
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/3813
hell yeah!
When I was in law school, there was a floating bridge game in the back of my section, and I seem to remember a fight with water guns in the courtyard on a hot Indian Summer afternoon.
We also played “asshole bingo” but that’s hard to call an adult game, and most law schools have some variant of it.
When I was a grad student before that there was literally a 24/7 bridge game – with players coming and going, including some faculty and staff – that lasted, to my actual knowledge, the whole 3 years I was around. It was said to have been started at least 10 years before that, and was said to be still going a few years ago.
oops “hard to call that a children’s game”
I had to go back 5……………French Viscount……and Viscountess……I feel I get extra points for them being french, and royalty……..
I have already said Apples to Apples, its quite the white game right now, im surprised it wasnt mentioned……..I love it, they should make a travel edition..
and here I am, just today deciding I think “Field Day” would be a great work activity.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA That is sooo funny, I can totally relate to the hide and seek among adults, I remember playing it in college and we all hid in the metal kitchen cabinets…
You’d lost me until the end. I’ve never been asked or seen grown-ups playing red rover, hide-and-seek or tag. I’ve heard rumors of kick ball, but never actually seen it. Softball is the most popular white activity, at least where I live. Soccer a close 2nd. I also see folks playing ultimate Frisbee, which I’ve never felt lame enough to try.
Board games on the other hand, very popular. Especially when there’s drinking involved. Mostly it’s about the drinking.
________________
All people love: http://whatiwatchedlastnight.blogspot.com
Can’t speak, I gotta shuppa shup in my mouth…
in the news . . . http://www.wiimbledon.net/
The kitchen cabinets! I should’ve tried that. I ended up under a mattress during one round that didn’t have enough clearance and the box spring was sitting all awkwardly lumped up on my stomach. The guy who was “it” that round literally sat on it not realizing he was shattering my spleen and I thought I was going to suffocate. That’s what I get for suggesting a kid’s game.
Oh yeah and check out my cartoon blog: http://spinachflame.wordpress.com/
Clander,
You must have put all your good material into the book because you seem to be grasping at straws lately.
Don’t forget that most of these outdoor games are for people that are too uncoordinated, out of shape, or too hip for actual sports. This is also so girls can be included, who are also uncoordinated and out of shape.
Very true about how they cannot wait for a passerby to ask what they are doing. I think this is acutally the main point.
Oh yeah, don’t forget the tools that play that damn Harry Potter game.
http://kickballohio.com/
world:
http://www.kickball.com/
baltimore:
http://www.kickball-baltimore.com/
ATL:
http://www.gokickball.com/
OH-IO:
http://kickballohio.com/
Kickball is huge right now. Especially when combined with beer. I live in a big East coast city and there’s two massive leagues here. You’ll see guys and girls playing in the field with cups full of beer. I subbed twice on my friend’s team and was annoyed by how competitive and drunk the players were. Weird.
Cartoons here: http://spinachflame.wordpress.com/
Do you go to a shitty school, Mike? Because at my school, people know the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
(hint: they’re completely different words!)
Indeed, there is no greater white douchebaggery than ultimate frisbee. It’s mostly played at expensive white kid daycare centers (er… private liberal arts colleges) that otherwise don’t do any sports. Since nobody but other rich white wieners play the game they feel as if they’re accomplished athletes. Hahahahaaaaaa! Then you meet them at work and they’re either fat white nerds or skinny white nerds (half-asian works too here). Hearing these out of shape motherfuckers talk about their athletic glory days puts a gigantic smile on my face. Pathetic people are so funny!
OMG Fireball Island! That takes me back. I’m Black but I grew up in an all (I do mean ‘all’) white neighborhood and went to all white school up until High School… which, one might imagine, was just a wee bit turbulent. Anywho, most of the tednencies I picked up from WP are readily apparent to me most of the time so it’s always fun when SWPL stumbles upon one I hadn’t noticed. #102 is a perfect example.
I mostly socialize with BP’s these days with a random scattering of token WP. I have been thinking that my desire to whip out a case of beer and a game of ‘Sorry!’ was just some wierd quirk of mine… one that I kept to myself. I know full well that, were I to suggest it among my current peers, itwould cause records to scratch and crickets to chirp… followed by me being clowned for weeks. Now I can just look at is fondly as a token of my upbringing with WPs. ๐
p.s. Once again.. the “wrong kind of white people” comments upstage the actual post. Hilarious! I bet someone could just gather all of those up and make a seperate blog.
My white friends constantly try to get me to join their kickball team in the District. The last thing I want to do is pay $50 to stand in outfield squinting at the sun in my eyes on a Sunday afternoon, and then play “Flip Cup”, which is the ultimate white drinking game. No thanks!
P.S: Notice that one of the guys playing the drinking Candyland game is NOT white haha. Reminds me of when I played a drinking version of Dream Phone with the girls.
Yup, I am currently playing in my fifth and sixth season of WAKA kickball in San Francisco.
The dilemia is that we are not supposed to bring bottles and finding cans of beer that show off how Urbane and Sophisticated I am is a challenge.
Wow…Playing Candyland and drinking 40’s. That’s freakin’ awesome!
I still love four square, and was afraid that it had fallen out of popularity with children today. I went with my cousin to her (very white, very posh, VERY private – it’s even on the water) school’s family day, and was pleased to see squares taped out on the floor of the student center.
I actually know a lot of Mexicans (those that reside in Mexico) that worship Bob Marley. And WWII combines so many things listed on this blog, like appreciation of everything French.
Cowboys and Indians? Is that what you called it?
We used play ‘Nazis and Jews’, but I think it was the same game.
Costco has just as good steaks and much cheaper.
Golf โ Besides Tiger Woods no other race would be caught dead in those clothes.
What are you talking about? Most of corporate America wears that stuff every day, since “business casual’ became the norm.
PS Tiger Woods is more Asian by % than he is black.
You guys are homosexuals, right?
yeah, it is depressing to see this crap.
not really
u still suck
…and there’s the grammar police… just mentioned in one of the last articles.
It’s ironic! Oh, the humanity.
http://tinyurl.com/6gs6yb
Hey asshole, I haven’t heard you rant your usual racist remarks. Have you finally turned off both hemispheres of your brain?
With a name as stupid like that you haven’t been off the boat long enough to be considered white enough.
Go back to Germania, bitch.
“Hide and Go Seek your popularity would with white people would skyrocket.”
“would” was used twice in this sentance, and after reading it 5 time it looses all meaning
White people cannot play dodgeball because it hurwts their feewings.
Speaking of combining games with alcohol though, we used to combine the drinking game 3-man with Monopoly for our patented 3-Manopoly. In addition to the rules of those two games, the dog game piece was dubbed a sheep and all players were required to drink if the sheep was knocked over. Also, drink for calling it a dog!
Most matches usually resulted in a drunken shouting match, but boy was it fun.
“Go to jail. Do a shot. Pay fifty dollars.”
Here in the Nation’s Capitol, adult kickball runs rampant…
http://www.dieyuppiekickball.com/joinus.html
How about adults playing a game using childrens candy
and by that I mean : PEEP WARS
http://www.invisible-city.com/play/156/peep-war-2005-revision
Yet I bet these same white people would dissaprove of theur own children both eating such non organic non healthy peeps and playing war. By the way complaining about dodgeball is also very white.
Could you screen out the church guy who spams with “Jesus was a …” It is just annoying and just a little white.
A child’s game that white people also enjoy is the game of 4-square.
There’s not anti-White racist remarks on this thread that need countering — yet.
I’m watching though, and when the anti-White bigots come out — BOOM!!!
This is a depressing thread on the conduct of Whites however, and indicative of the sad state of Whites. That guy in the photo playing Candyland with a 40 oz., looking like a total douche-bag…it’s stomach-churning, the degradation etc.
I love polish sausages.
There are several versions of Apples to Apples including: Apples to Apples Junior (2001), Apples to Apples Junior 9+ (2002), Apples to Apples Kids, Apples to Apples: Jewish Version, and Apples to Apples: Bible Edition.
Busted!!!!!!!!!!! Racist jewish-centric version of the game. Ha ha.
Kickball? What’s that? Soccer for retards?
me and all my white lovers, love to play peek-a-boo turtle head.
this is a great post. i know a group that plays drunken urban kickball and at least half wear old school new balance. i’ve been invited to play but after this post i can’t bring myself to do it. the best is that they always think that they are the first ones to come up with this idea! absolutely brilliant.
OMG! We used to play hide and seek on group ski trips in a condo (usually a multi-story one) after we’d been out at the bars. One girl hid on the sofa, laying flat on it with the seat cushions over her body. I think she won (hey, we were drunk!).
What’s the Difference Between Columbus and Hitler?
http://tinyurl.com/5ohpvu
I can’t stand Apples to Apples. All the white couples I know have that damn game, and it’s hauled out whenever things get slow.
Oh man, playing hide-and-seek on a skiing trip?? You’re Clander’s ideal demographic! That’s hilarious. Not that I should talk, since I technically started this little thread of whiteness…
Ummm you haven’t heard of the now 2 kickball leagues in Brooklyn, and their constant drama?
Several months ago, I remarked at a social gathering that the Seattle Mariners had so many players of Caribbean origin in the starting lineup they should be called the โHabana Marineros.โ
Naturally, someone replied that Iโm a “racist”.
Little did I realize at the time how prescient my observation would be.
On its telecasts, the Mโs are now promoting its new website:
Losmarineros.com.
Last Saturday, in honor of something called “Salute to Latin American Beisbol Day” the team uniforms were inscribed: “Marineros”.
OMG I’d rather swallor nails than ever sit through that damn game again.
I pooped my pants.
South Detroit Mike…Was Melvindale Mike taken?
Actually, according to the Reputational Survey in the Macleans University Rankings I do go to a shitty school. The University of Windsor was ranked 43 out of 47 Canadian Universities. But, for my Arts Degree (#47) it’s just fine.
“More excited than word of a new Trader Joe’s opening” HA!!
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
Playing Red Rover on brick? Those kids are hard core.
You know that Journey song, Don’t Stop Believing? The third line in the song introduces the city boy, born and raised in South Detroit. There isn’t really a defined South Detroit but because Windsor is south of Detroit. I got in the habit of calling it South Detroit. Also, during the Academic year I live 15 minutes away from Downtown Detroit; much closer than most people who say they’re from Detroit.
I bet the people who play these games were loser weaklings as kids, and if I see a group of white adults playing kick ball in the park, I will steal the ball, these punks need a good old fashion beating to remind them of their childhood. God what has happened to white people? How we have lost it.
The ultimate whiteperson game is to drink gallons of alcohol while making a completely innocuous child’s game totally sexual and perverted. Something like Drunk Naked Jacks.
does anyone ever play all guys naked battleship? our frat house would always has tourneys. we would drink zima by the cases and get all naked and play battleship till like 5 in the am. it was sooo much fun. one time i passed out and all the guys glued the battle ships to my buttocks. haha
And there you have… God is a white people.
Darn, thought we were the only ones who had perverted Battleship.
Rock
My coworker blew out a hamstring playing in a co-ed kickball game. We were able to give him shit about it for days.
Yahtzee, bitches!
http://www.thechrisivesexperience.com
You know what are fun games….Spades and Dominoes…and I’m white and young
Like other “white” people traits, I have this one too. My favorite would be prank phone calls though. I’m almost 30…with a graduate degree, organic food fetish, bike riding to the Whole Foods, Target shopping, vegan eating…I’ll stop now.
Heh, it’s so easy to bait morons. Good job, asshole, for proving that theory right.
You yourself are the perfect indication of the sad state of anybody, white included. You no-life racist ass-clown.
the best games ever: freeze tag and red light green light
played intoxicated even better.
dude prank phone calls are great at any age. so much fun!
“Dodgeball is game of humiliation, degradation and exclusion”
Only for the uncoordinated losers who are out early in the game. For everyone else it is a great self-esteem booster.
I wonder if Nintendo is the winner of the console wars for white people (Nintendo does have the most kids games which are continued franchises of games we played when we were young [i.e. mario, zelda, castlevainia]
.. plus Nintendo is Japanese thus it ought to be very important to support Nintendo to alleiviate guilt from WWII n’est-ce pas?
Did you guys ever, you know, take any movies of that stuff? Cause if there’s any gay porn in it I’d pay big bucks.
apples to apples!
3-Manopoly? Did you ever video yourself playing? I’d pay to see it. Really.
you just hate it because you never win….anytime someone gets britney spears, she is the automatic winner, no matter what the adjective says, it could say Hero, or Messy, or Beautiful, or Frightning, and Britney spears always wins…
After he boned Maniston, nobody seems to care about him…..Jennifer Aniston has single handedly dated half of hollywood and destroyd carreers, except for brad, and he and angie are the reasons maniston crys for 2 hours everynight….
yes costco is very very white, because we dont shop at Sams for our warehouse purchases because its owned by walmart, plus costco has higher end items….
I love apples to apples, just remember the britney spears card is the automatic winner, nomatter the adjective, she works perfectly with every single card……..
we have been discussing it, it should be its own blog….
This is so funny, because just this past Sunday while I was playing soccer (I’m not white), I saw a bunch of white people playing kickball in the park near the soccer field. They all played with a beer in one hand. It was quite entertaining. This happened in Seattle, WA. Hahaha!
Clander I think you got half the story.
White adults play childrens board games.
White children play adult board games, Chess, Backgammon, Diplomacy, Go, the better card games.
In college games between adult and child like Risk and monopoly are played.
BTW Clander any chance of you redacting the Times for us?
Ah, yet another eerily close fit.
My friends and I go to my beach house and play stuff like The Game of Life, Donkey (you know, that game where you shoot hoops and every time you miss you get a letter), and drink heavily. We have also participated in a touch rugby league and a dodgeball league.
Also, when we’re not drinking heavily whilst playing kids games, we’re watching Wes Anderson films or listening to 80s music.
Someone may have commented on this already, but I’m too lazy to go through over 100 postings here. I loved this feature as I’ve noticed a big kickball movement in hipster circles recently.
Let me just say.. UNLESS you are a nanny. I hate Candyland, Mouse Trap, etc, with a passion. HATE HATE HATE.
Not trying to be the Wrong Kind of White Person, but what’s Trader Joe’s?
Wait! Four Square is for White People? I thought only Mexicans played it in th barrio.
*Gasp* Here’s a link for Trader Joe’s:
http://www.traderjoes.com/
okay, just emailed this site to all my friends. many being white people who play kick ball.
Isn’t there anyone here white enough to play the Midwest summer fave “bean bags”? (or if you’re in Ohio…”Cornholing”?)
Oh how I enjoy the melodic sounds of those friggen bean bags hittin that stupid hunk of wood (painted with Cubs/Sox logos, of course) and the drunken cheers of my moronic neighbors……and did I say drunk?
I need a bean bag set for my party in three weeks…anyone got one I can borrow????
today i was at a picnic at a park, and a large group of us played “lava monster” on the playground equipment haha
Yes! Mini golf. Except here in Austin, we can take beer on the course. Making it a bit more adult.
We also do have a laser tag and the idea has been raised and I’m like, “you want to do what?”
thank you so much for the fireball island shout out.
Sorry to inform you – little Black girls play hopscotch…often.
Jenga is for adults too!
Another topic that makes me exclaim…whoa!
http://www.youtube.com/whoatv
Last year I noticed kickball being played in Piedmont Park in Atlanta by a large group of adults. It seems to be a fairly new phenomenon. Now that you point it out I recall seeing very few non-whites engaged in the game.
Does Risk Count?
I can’t imagine any actual children being able to play it without bursting into tears.
Catchphrase is the best game with like 10 people…
cheer up, you sound like one of the liberal whites they write about in this hillarious column!! what is your take on the Ancient Egyptians , Numbians or Persians?? nice folks??land aquistion threw love??? is that would you think??
p.s. left out the Mongolians got love Gangas! leave christopher columbus alone he has been dead for 500 years!!!
Hmmm… the only games my friends like to pay are drinking games and poker. I gotta find these white people who are young at heart to hang out with!
This website is not remotely as funny as earliar this year.
White people have become a bunch of well educated retards. I guess we should all just turn gay, play Candy Land all day, and allow nature to take its course so that we can be replaced by our tougher, more mature neighbors from the the southern hemisphere.
Hell, I just signed up for an alumni kickball league this week. Hehe…
the real reason for this obsession is that the particular breed of white people who enjoy these activities [e.g. dodgeball, kickball etc..] were the un-athletic doofuses who were never good at these games in elementary school. Now they have all banded together to celebrate their mediocrity. Random discussions of how its so much better to play w/o the “jocks” around to bully anyone with their emotional crippling superiority always seem to spring up. Also these are the sort of people who discourage competition and try to teach their children the same thing by trying to ban these games the same exact games, particularly dodgeball, in their kid’s gym program. The superior athletes among the white race still participate frequently in competitive intra-mural leagues, never co-ed, as a form of recreation.
The white people written about on this website are the Ellsworth Monkton Toohey’s of the world.
there actually is one black person in my kickball league. he must be the wkobp.
wkowp was here.
Jenga can creatively be made into a drinking game!
Is wiffle ball considered a children’s game??
what is that?
At what age would one qualify white people on becoming adults? Is that when the money from their parents stops coming in? Or when they finally get a career? I have white friends who are about 20-22 years old, who are now starting up these makeshift kickball, red rover, dodge ball leagues.. Does paddidle count too? lol
how about ping pong? is that considered a childs game. there is a ping pong table at a local bar that always has a line of people waiting to play.
Okay, if people are too stupid to use Google and instead wait for someone to answer their lame-ass questions, they are not worthy of an answer.
I like the game of life.
Bonus points if when you get married you choose the same sex.
Double bonus points if you refuse to breed.
I’m an academic in Europe. Recently, my boss held a party at his place for the department (white academics plus spouses, one of whom is not white). It was lovely weather and, yes, we played kick ball in his huge garden. Skimming through your post, as it happens, when my spouse and I lived in CA we shopped in Trader Joe’s. We still have one of the cotton bags we bought there. Are you spying on us? ๐
Great blog.
Hey! I AM that guy who always wants to play Fireball Island!
And by the way… you forgot one crucial, CRUCIAL outdoor childhood game that I still play whenever I can (though usually only my wife and younger cousins will play with me… apparently my other friends and loved ones are too mature to play it)…. HOT LAVA MONSTER!!!!
are you TRYING to be white?
the reason white people get so excited about a new trader joe’s opening is that there’s never enough parking!
You guys are full of shite. That guy in the picture isn’t even white. He’s looks like he’s from the sub-continent or thereabouts.
Maybe he’s just staff and is making up the numbers?
Dont forget lazer tag. Grown white folks love that lame chrildren’s game.
Keep up the good work; I love this column!
Sincerely,
Trivial Pursuit Lover
Trivial Pursuit Rules
Wiffle ball is huge here (Memphis), it routinely beats out kickball, but a lot of people play in both leagues.
It has been said that Columbus Day to Native Americans would be akin to a Hitler Day for Jews. The politician who successsfully campaigned to make Columbus Day a national holiday in 1971, Mariano A. Lucca, was also a journalist who interviewed Hitler and Mussolini in the 1930’s.
White people with Humanities degrees specifically like to play Cranium. Tasks like “spell ‘chianti’ backwards” or “draw a toadstool with your eyes closed” are perfect for Humanities majors since they test unmarketable skills.
On a side note, I don’t like Cranium because the point of the game is to win the most “Club Cranium” tasks more than anything else. Since trivia and language tasks are never used for Club Craniums people who are better at trivia and language tasks then acting and writing things out are at a disadvantage.
OR you can play grown up board games like Scrabble and applaud yourself for being so smart that you formed the word Qi… why do you think Scrabulous has become so damn popular??
ha! i love this. my friends and i sat around and played the Sorry board game last night. i had’t played that since i was 10 or 11.
Don’t forget about pillow fights, especially the flash mob variety.
But seriously, I was a bit taken aback by the brown guy sitting with the white people playing Candyland drinking 40s. Did anyone else happen to notice?
And thats what White supremisists believe! Good for you! you may now wear a white pointed hat!
You stole South America from me!!!!!!!!!!
And doesnt that sentence just sum-up white people history….
seriously……….people who live in montana dont know what trader joes is because they dont have one, unless you live in montana you have no excuse…….
its called caller I.D, and thats why prank calls stopped being fun………
just like charlotte in sex and the city!
Showing off jewelry is what rich white people like.
http://www.culturallycool.com/jewelry1index.html
it’s called * 67, thats why i still prank and love it!
Even though it isnt thursday I have to do it anyway. Do you even have an idea of what an Italian lynching is ? It resembles the neck tie. No jesus didn’t go out that way. Can someone hook this guy up with a life ?
Hitler wasn’t csrewing a queen, he was screwing cousins and neices.
Never heard of that one. We usually play cards or dice. A game like that one even sounds kinda milk toastish.
Alas, another educated FOOL.
Where is that park ? Id really get to laugh out loud
I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels who is screwing who is more important than who they were killing.
I can hardly wait.
I have several white people I know who live and die for kickball, and board game parties. I can’t get down like that. Maybe occasionally, but not every weekend, and not every time I head to someone’s house.
Hello I am the Attorney Andrew and I’m looking for other lawyers who want to publish articles like this in the forum, someone can help me?
Double double bonus points if you marry the same sex AND choose to breed.
BigUp You!
http://www.survival-international.org
Hey, dontcha follow the gig?
We heebs are worried about being outbred by the pals & arabs!!
RISK is overrated. People think it’s skill, but anything with dice determining the outcome is lame.
Very White.
I know a guy who downloaded the specs, went to Home Depot, and built his own.
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
Apples to Apples Yiddish Edition
and also:
Schmear! The Build-a-Bagel Card Game
ha ha!!
It takes a racist to know a “racist”, and that’s you jerk-off liar.
You need to take your anger and hostility somewhere else. Please.
Um………….yeah.
How could you not? Also, look at that the White loser with the “40 oz.”
The degradation of Whites via liberal sickness is hard to witness, sad to see, but the sickness is everywhere these days, and this blog satirizes it well.
I instruct adult fitness classes & try to play games with them as often as possible. So basically white people pay me to make them play games.
Playing twister in an elevator.
Yeah, that’s why our friends (a couple) from down the street come over to play Rock Band with us.
Oh wait, they’re not white… And none of us are over 30.
But wait, they must not REALLY be black if they play such games with WHITE people.
This blog can be humorous at times but the majority of the comments are disgusting.
Funny, I play eel in the bag with all my hetro black lovers….they’re the only ones I know who actually buy that crap…..that and ox tails
That’s queer. Still haven’t progressed after all those years huh ? Zima ? sad,sad.
Played for the first time durring the Kentucky derby. Everybody pitches in 5 bucks and it’s winner take all. Gotta watch the beer intake though. Dont play on windy days, you’ll be at it forever.
Let’s DO forget Stragego!
“Just the suggestion of an event like this will get them more excited than word of a new Trader Joeโs opening. ”
ahahaha so true
What about MadLibs and coloring books? I have a bunch of those I bust out regularly with my friends. Is that white enough or do I need to step it up?
What are you talking about? That “white loser” you’re referring to looks just like JT. I’d party with him.
that’s a winner!
its quite possibly the whitest thing you can do.
When I play LIfe with my daughter (12 now) I shove my pink wife in the back “to keep her in her place”. Drives my snowflake nuts.
OH MEMORY LANE! Who remembers WALL BALL? Was it called 7-UP?
Heading out to play now with my 70 SPF sunscreen slathered
on!
Try Peekaboo
playing drinking games is totally white – especially people who cant get laid while sober
you’re a dork w/ short penis
whitey in greenlake , seattle plays with HulaHoops – no kidding. there might be an Asian chick that hangs with them too.
in da hood, we just keep it real.
drinking games are totally white
I love kickball and board games. All I’m missing is a Liberal Arts degree. So I’m almost the whitest guy I know.
Other white interests include: Baggo (yankees call it corn-hole-ing), golf with my token minority friends, bashing government sponsored programs, voting for the GOP, and tipping waiters/waitresses.
white chicks tip poorly – that’s part of being white.
Dodgeball. Gotta love that dodgeball.
Look at that White loser.
1) He has biceps the size of a pencil, which means he avoids even rudimentary physical activity.
2) He has obviously spent time picking out his “outfit” and clothing choices.
3) He a grown man stuck in adolescence.
4) He’s drinking like a non-White, presumably because he thinks it’s funny; or he has no money and is reduced to drinking like a welfare black.
5) Despite being a full grown man, he’s obviously not reproduced and doesn’t appear likely to anytime soon.
6) He has assumed all of the traits of today’s orthodoxy that one can see everywhere: Loser White liberal.
Think of how far this individual has degraded from his pioneer or immigrant ancestors. Likely this loser had baby-boomer idiot parents, so he would have to compare himself to his grandparents’ stock to see how far he has dropped on the darwinist scale.
I mean, come on, it’s just SAD to even look at.
No way, man. Helen Keller always wins.
You really have a lot of time on your hands, it’s funny how people lable all others. I mean really I think it is more what country you are from and how you grew up, perhaps religion can be a factor as well, is how you act, not what skin colour you are, I think you are generalising white people. And simply most of these posts are just untrue, Not all white people act like that, there are plenty of other races out there that do the same things, I could generlise Americans, but that would be stupid of me as I know not all americans are the same, or any other country for that matter etc. But I guess we all have some kind of hobby or interest and This must be one of yours. Have you made a difference in our lives, (The people that tried to read this) No I don’t think so, but we all have our own opinions and it is good to get it out there anyway.
glossary:
rkowp: right kind of white person
wkowp: wrong kind of white person
wkobp: wrong kind of black person
rkobp: n/a
The “gay pride day” is a sign of destruction of Whites, so is MLK, so is May Day, Mayo 5, and all the rest.
I don’t think you can compare “Columbus” to the the level of the liberal Jew’s hate for Whites, nor Hitler’s desire to live free of jews.
Bullshit. Everyone and anyone knows that the ashkenazi jews are the most inbred and insular group in history.
Look at Ben Stein, Kissinger, Larry King, all these bizarre inbred faces and features.
In the states where Hasidim live it is LEGAL to marry a first cousin, it is illegal in WV and Kentucky.
And any anti-White asshole who wants to deny this can look it up.
not at the Costco I go to, the level of “diversity” is sickening and nobody talks to one another, it’s silence in the check-out lines.
Everyone is pissed off at the other, the Latinos hate the blacks, who hate the Asians, who hate the Hindus, and none of these people converse with each other. I should videotape it and put it on youtube. The diversity is so great that literally nobody has anything in common with anyone else, except obesity.
America didn’t used to suck like this.
Chinese, and white too.
Pool (billiards for those fags that will mock it) is totally White.
OK this is kind of embarrasing. It’s a game I played in the bath tub when I was a kid, that I still play now as an adult male age 62. I call it Finching, anyways I fart in the bathtub then try to eat the bubbles. Does that count as an adult playing a childs game?
Hey is Portnoy a tranny?
White people are retarded. As a matter of fact so are black, Indian, Asian, and any other race you can think of.
SUP GUYS, FRIED CHICKEN!
So do Canadians. We’re notoriously poor tippers. Hmmm… this isn’t exactly a source of pride. Perhaps I should shut up now.
I thought you said over-analyzing is very un-White?
lol
hate to break it to ya buddy, but pool (at least here in Toronto) is trendy now. Everybody wants to do it. Last time I went to a poolhall it was full of teenagers.
What makes someone a wkobp?
WE PLAYED BOARD GAMES LAST NIGHT!!!
No, that’s an adult being a nut case. Eating your own farts. That’s freaking nasty.
What concern does a supposed 62 year old man have for whether or not a person is a tranny? Sixty-two year olds are way passed the age of interest in sexuality and gender. People your age are pretty much asexual, at least I like to think so. Of all the wacky fetishes people have, any kind of fascination with old farts is up near the top, right along with human toilets and guys who need people to smash their nads to get off.
Get out of the tub and go watch Matlock you fruity old bastard.
Hitler as a boy admired American efficiancy in killing Native Americans according to John Toland’s biography of him. Both Columbus and Hitler committed genocide.
I hate myself.
Every comment ever made on this blog can be funneled into one of NUMBER categories:
1) “OMG I’M WHITE AND THAT’S EXACTLY LIKE ME”
2) “I’m white and this is nothing like me and I’m kind of offended that this is what you think I’m like”
3) “I’m white and I’m SEVERELY offended that you think this is what I’m like”
4) “I’m not white but this is what all the white people I know are like”
5) “I’m not white but I don’t know any white people like this”
6) “Insert bizarre anti-semitic nonsense that has nothing at all to do with the original post HERE.”
You forgot:
7) “I’m not white, but that’s exactly like me!”
How does my belief that whites are no longer up to the challenge of building and maintaining western civilization raciest? I love other races, they are the rightful future of humanity.
My alumni club just sent out a reminder for the annual kickball tourney in the park. Yeah, 93% white, elite ,East Coast university.
Did anyone else used to play Smear the Queer in the 70’s, or was that just our vicious block?
Footnote please? That sound as far-fetched as the “lampshade & soap” BS that they stopped teaching.
Hitler did agree that the English did a much better job ofpreserving themselves vis-a-vis the Spanish who screwed tons of non-Whites and created the mestizos who are invading the US. Britain is not faring very well, and is similarly being invaded by non-Whites.
If you are White, you really should consider all this cheap judaic-hatred for Herr Hitler. Hitler was not perfect, but he cared for White people, just like Zionists care for jews.
yeah, shut up mongrel.
who’s overanalyzing? That’s all obvious within 5 seconds of looking at him.
You would understand this if you were White. You would understand this if you had a real White parent, not a sick-minded one.
I still have a functional Atari 2600 that I still use. Is this very white of me?
White people needa grow up!
– http://www.thewhyblog.net
Cander is a bitch
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1818389
not that I like ultimate frisbee or anything either, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re probably gay, douchebag
Maybe sometimes, playing children’s games can be fun. I don’t remember the last time that I’ve done it so I don’t really know, but I don’t doubt that its possible to have fun while doing it. I also don’t know any white people that play children’s games regularly, though I don’t really care one way or another. Having fun is having fun, who cares how its done.
games don’t always have to be reflective of society. I remember dodgeball as being pretty fucken cool when I was a kid. You get to throw big ass red balls at other people, and noone really gets hurt. Don’t be an oversensitive asswipe.
whatever, scrabble can be entertaining and I’m sticking to it. Fuck Cander, what a bitch
you sure showed him, white guy. keep up the good work, the world needs some people to be neurotic and lame.
douche !
thats really all i got on this one
No faglord, its just fun sometimes
that actually sounds like a pretty fun game. I don’t understand why someone would make fun of accesorizing things like that with alcohol. Besides that, aren’t you really just accesorizing alcohol with hopscotch?
p.s. accesorizing seems to be difficult to spell, but, FUCK WHITE GUY isn’t.
my salty balls long for your supple lips
You are terrible people. Can you spot a jew on the street? I have a hard time believing you would think one of my friends is jewish, she is the whitest white person i know, blonde, blue eyed, tiny nose, very aryan looking, she is whiter then hitlers mistress. Funny how white supremisists people love hitler, he had black hair, and had jewish ancestry. He was just pissed that he didnt get into a jewish art school, and blamed the collapse of europes surpremecy to america on the jews, because he believed they controlled the money. Wow one people controlling an entire continents money, seems hard to believe, seems like some europeans didnt want to take responsibility, and instead blamed it on jews. Blaming everything on jews is for the weak and feeble minded, hopefully people will someday see pasts the different breeds of humans, and soon realize there is only one race, and thats the human race………
Your dead wrong, im sorry……………Im not anti white, or anti black, or anti any breed of human, because like animals, humans come in different breeds, meaning different color, shapes, sizes, and even beliefs. We all belong to one race, and that the human race………….you may let the bible or some other book lead you to believe this to be untrue, but Anthropologists know better, and education is the greatest god of all. Im sorry you believe that some features of a few jews displease you, but there are quite a few features that im sure you posess that many other cultures and religions might find unattractive as well. Including a light complextion that increases a risk of skin cancer, or smaller nasel passages that can affect your breathing at high altitudes, or light hair that has a higher possibility for hair loss at a younger age, or light color eyes that have a possibility for a higher risk of sun damage and an increase need for glasses due to a lack of perfect vision. So there are many attributes of a “white” person that many people might not find appealing. Only incredibly vain and self centered people believe everyone loves their looks. Trust me, you would be the last married person in Ethiopia if you were born a blonde, blue eyed man in that country, and lived with their culture. Study Anthropology, and you will see you are not as special as you believe. The western countries are already being outpaced by the heavily populated eastern countries in almost every field, if you would like to protect your country from possible future invasion, i suggest inventing, or recreating something to help the western countries economies, and/or schools. Without schools, and advanced thought, our hick-assed country is bound to be defeated within 150 years because of dumbasses like yourself who stick their fingers in their ears, and yell at the top of their lungs, ideas and beliefs that are no longer valid, or credible. Only time and evolution will rid the world of people like you. I hope you know that their is a good chance that eventually every person in hundreds of thousands of years will possibly look the same, with darker skin, darker hair, people will be taller, and their will be no different breed of human. Sure their will be slight genetic variations, because no population can be 100% the same, but most people will have very similar features. “White” people will be extinct, so will “Asian” people, and so will “Black” people, we will all be one. Dont try and kill them all, because you cant, and you like hitler, will only be a bleep in time for the evolution of man.
LMAO thats a good one too……I dont know which is worse, skanky stupid Britney, or sad and deaf Helen. Laughing at Britney is OK though, because she is awful, I would feel to awful to laugh at Helen Keller if the card was Tyranical, or Evil, or Filthy…..LMAO I know its funny, but it feels soooooooo wrong………………………..
I love Yahtzee! but white people dont love it so much because there is to much risk involved, and not enough mental play. White people like games they can think with, and/or stratigize, or have unspoken teams with, like Risk, Apples to Apples, Monopoly, etc………………….Yahtzee is fun, but only for the extremely bored and for those who dont really want to play but have to play…Try Apples to Apples, its a much better white game…
they are in black face, duh, super white people like to pretend what life is like for the “Brotha’s” so they can then recount their experiences on their blogs…..
Bitch its called Pretty Pretty Princess. If you want a rocken game, thats the one you pull out. Dont worry, we all have played it, but dont get pissed if you get the black ring….hell knows my friend Tyrome gets “hella” pissed when he gets it, he feels the game is racist, and gives the black ring only to the black guy, so he can never be Pretty Pretty Princess…
do they have a build a bagel card game? that is actually a fantastic idea, i can totally see it as real game, different cards with different bagels, different spreads etc. that would be sooo funny, im sure that would be popular…
LMAO IM CRYING!!!! this is the funniest thing ive read in a long long time!!!!
did you know that deaf people are terrrrrrrrible tippers? its totally true, I used to wait tables and a group of deaf people would come in once a week and never tip, and even people who didnt belong with the group, who were deaf didnt tip, they are as bad a black people with the tipping! maybe, like black people, deaf people feel the world owes them something?
Three words: Pretty Pretty Princess
Discuss.
“Columbus makes Hitler look like a juvenile delinquent.”
-Russell Means, American Indian activist.
Three Words: Pretty Pretty Princess.
Discuss………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
I love Trader Joe’s!
hey i am a white man living in mexico. the other night another man snuck into my room, got into my bed, and really pinched my scrotum hard. i called for help, and the man ran out. is this just a childrens game that adults play in mexico? should i fell bad that i want him to come back?
Shopping While White (SWW) is a critically important skill. At checkout, use the following flowchart to identify the correct cashier to select, ranked in order of ability to transact business:
-Hijab wearing chick – less prone to talking on phone in mid checkout than white chick, might conceivably say “Hi”.
-Non-visibly gay white male – held to much higher standard than “short bus” (female, minority) employees and therefore better in all aspects of customer service.
-Visibly gay white male – Like air traffic controller in “Airplane”, sense of entitlement to “act gay” in workplace is occasionally endearing.
-White chick – usually rubbing the pixie dust out of her eyes from previous evening’s rave, talks on phone while scanning prices. Try to avoid.
-Visible minority chick – thinks all white males are racist, can’t get laid, and will overcompensate with hostility, leading to bizarre scenario of 20 year old making $5 an hour copping attitude left and right with six figure earning analyst \customer old enough to be her father.
-Visible minority male – waaaaay too cool to transact business in a manner recognizable as anglo in origin, too busy scoping out white chicks to say or do anything annoying, slow.
By adhering to the above guidelines, SWW needn’t be an onerous chore. NOTE: be wary of women, gays, and minorities in express lane lines for ten or less items – minorities are so used to feeling “special” that they don’t believe rules actually apply to them; they’ll actually feel somewhat justified in shivving you if you point out that they are 23 items over the limit.
good point.
best… game… ever.
I once dropped a client who talked like this. Just stopped returning his phonecalls, let the silly little twerp figure out himself why no one will transact business with him.
Hi it’s me. What about paintball? Isnt that white stuff too?
Seriously Ithinkthat the funniestthingistoseewhitepeopleplayingpaintballinthepark. It’s almost as funnyaswatchingthose creative anachronismpeople what with theirswordsandshields and stuff. shit myspacebar stoppedworking.
It actually wasnt that funny until the last line. That’s when the gold got mined and the bastard hit a homer. I snorted milk.
Nothing wrong with preferring a little human interaction CT87. Take a valium and move along.
We play “Cornhole”. We get corn feed from the feed store and sew our own bags. It’s totally the new rage in my beach town.
Ummm, well, OK. Cornhole is the new rage. If you say so. I think there are a lot of guys out there who have been playing with cornholes for years (some even play with their own cornhole from time to time). Myself, I prefer pita pocket to cornhole. That’s just me, though. If you all want to play around the cornhole, that’s your right. Also, what do you mean you “sow your own bags”? I don’t think I would like to have my bags sewn at all. It sounds painful.
Is playing cornhole really a child’s game? I don’t remember playing cornhole as a kid. But, maybe, with the right therapist. . .
I’m sure you’re just a waterfall of pride for your trailer park parents
hahahahaha
Yeah my dad is so sick that they made him CEO of a Fortune 500 company that he worked for for 22 years. Total sicko. Yep. Why don’t I get all my info on what people are and aren’t “correct” from you?
Okay, the fact that you believe what James wrote to be true is alarming. And then to chastise him for it is, well, wrong.
Do you really think that post was serious?
I tip 20% or more and I’m white as the driven snow.
Is it too late for them to get their money back?
Red Rover FTW!
Cranium. Especially at the cottage. Or, …does anyone else just make up random trivia/word association games sorta like when you’re on a long road trip โexcept your drinking this time. Those are great.
Cool people are too busy for most games…
http://stuffcoolpeoplelike.tumblr.com
nothing worng with eating a few toot bubbles in the bathtub. it’s more of a past time than a game though.
I PLAYED PING PONG WITH A LIVE MOUSE LAST NIGHT!!!!!
tri-athelons are totally white
marathons are white, because Kenyans win most of the time.
but anything involving swimming and/or biking – yep, that’s whitey
yes, i meant’ aren’t white – kenyans…
it’s ok , cause i’m high right now
South Americans are still Americans.
You know what sux? You can’t play lawn darts anymore. It’s illegal, from what I heard. Nothing says “whitey” like lawn darts and The Man took ’em away.
Bastards.
Yes.
At school during recess.
Well, that’s OK because we still got Frisbee and Slip ‘n Slide (just make sure you have a plush lawn: sliding on a crummy, rocky lawn kinda hurts ๐ฆ ).
hrhkat: blaming jews? who?
i just went the whole thread and nobody “blamed jews”.
Take your tired old slurs and jewish-victim propaganda somewher else.
Nobody buys that anymore. It is the jews who CONTINUE to palyt he victim card for money!!
israel is not the victim, the Pals are. Wake up asshole.
PS Semites are NOT WHITE, so take your crypto-jew blonde and shove it. Jews support jews, and only jewish interests, not Whites. wake up
hey buddy: “celebrate diversity”
Your anti-White rant of “we’re all the same” is contradictory!!!
ha ha sucker asshole.
celebrate jewish contributions to our great diversity, but do not DENY that Whites have the same rights.
White people are leaving the mexiscum third world hellhole that is LA County.
you need to look at US Census data for real facts.
PS the Jews may stick it out, for now, just like Miami where Whites left awhile ago. However, today even the Jews cannot stand the environment they created, and jews are leaving Coconut Grove and Coral Gables.
These jews will likely follow the Whites again, and then again destroy the environment via anti-White policy and conduct and the process will repeat.
I give the LA jews another 20 years. Plenty of the LA jews have already fled to Agoura etc. following Whites.
Hmmmm, this is after the 1789 guillotines? LOL!!!
no they don’t. You are full of shit.
True.
Black checkout people are the best. They will always side with the consumer over their employer when it comes to items that are “rung up wrong, etc.”
Want to use a coupon that’s not accurate or expired, etc.? Go to the black checkout line!!
It’s “racist” because although non-White races are allowed to and even encouraged to “celebrate” their diversity (without being called racist), when people of European descent do the same, it’s called “racist”.
It’s a pathetic double-standard, and almost all Whites somehow put up with it.
see the thread devoted to “The Wire”.
Everywhere where go is non-White, since you are non-White.
lol!!!
Rich!!
An anti-White racist mulatto making fun of Whites!!
Your mother is a sick White person who flushed her White genes, handed down to her by centuries of ancestors, away forever. You will never be White and neither will your offspring. Your mother suffered from mental sickness and I guess she deserved to end her lineage.
Why are you on a White blog???
Your dad is not a Fortune 500 CEO and you are just a complete liar.
kenyans are fast, they run from lions
or other negroes that might hack them with machetes!!!
subtract the homos and jews and get back to us, please.
“This constant trashing of our ancestry, such as the chronic recital of Spanish exploitation of the Americas and even the demonization of Christopher Columbus is typical of this effort to make the Spanish and others have no real pride or sense of loyalty to their own people.” David Duke
“Columbus saved the Indians from themselves.” Rush Limbaugh
Duke and Limbaugh are right on about Christopher Columbus! Liberals need to stop lying about Columbus!
Kickball is an American classic.
Better to be gay, than ghey, like yourself, dear douche.
We thought the entry was a bit weak, but it is true. Miles will probably kill me for confessing, but we agree that Chutes and Ladders “rawks,” whatever thatmeans, “rocks,” I suppose. Anyway, Miles finds C&L erotically stimulating for some reason related to an incident in childhood involving a female pediatrician with enormous breasts. Anyway, we “swing” (Yes, white people like “swinging.”) on occasion with a bi couple from Riviera Beach, and we sometimes begin the evening with a game of “strip Chutes and Ladders” and a cabernet sauvignon. Miles jokes, “Let’s have a little C&L before the B&D,” and drags the beat up game box out of his “toy chest” as soon as this couple puts a foot in the door. Miles becomes highly aroused by this. It’s like a fetish, I guess, and I suppose we should seek help by swinging with a clinical psychologist/psychiatrist couple we met in Bequia and see what they think.
Muff
accessorized
One entry found.
accessorize
Main Entry: acยทcesยทsoยทrize
Pronunciation: \ik-หse-sษ-หrฤซz, ak-\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): acยทcesยทsoยทrized; acยทcesยทsoยทrizยทing
—————
when in doubt: look it up.
the dictionary is your friend, but not nearly as good as beer.
danielle was here
guilty as charged. this average white person loves kickball.
Well, I always say the only thing my Bachelors Degree gave me was the ability to win at Trivial Pursuit.
Only white geeks like Bruce Campbell.
OMG! spot on! my whitey-white roommate plays kickball every thursday ๐ she also calls it “another occasion to get drunk”
So what if people are silent in the checkout line? Let’s say that at a given time, everyone in the store was the same race. Do you think they’d be yakking it up even though they were strangers to one another? Remember, it’s a Costco, which are located in cities and suburbs. It’s not the grocery store in Mayberry.
Um most of eastern europe blamed the jews for their losses in WWI, they also blamed them for their financial situation, even though during the 30s most of the world was hurt financially because of the stock market crash. Know your history, and maybe you wont be such a bigot!
You are 15 and when you get to community college, take a an Anthropology course, otherwise be quiet and let adults speak, you are not “White” enough for this blog….
* an Anthropology
You know nothing, its the “black” people leaving LA for the high desert, the white people are moving to pacific palasades, but are still in LA. They mexicans are pushing out the blacks, not the whites. The mexicans cant afford to buy a house in the white parts of LA, so they are buying up the black parts and the blacks are moving to the cheaper desert. There is an industry, and its called hollywood, and with hollywood is white people, so unless you take hollywood, beautiful beaches, expensive homes and sushi places away, then white people will leave, otherwise they wont, and i dont see hollywood leaving anytime soon.
Actually yes…..im surprised, they lived in the 1820s, so im guessing they could possibly have either escaped, or were the children of parents whos heads were chopped off! lmao, o well, my other ancestors came here in 1730, so its not like im some immigrant lmao
Its called sarcasm….
Its because whites are held to a higher standard, if you would not like to be held ona pedistal, then by all means get off………
Pretty Pretty Princess.
“Theyโre all well-to-do yuppies, with no perspective outside the finer things in their brand of selfish altruism.”
Now that’s an interesting point. It could be argued that white people have no genuine sense of taste; only an awareness of high end consumer goods. Hence the popularity of the brand name. They’re successfully replacing T Shirts as personal statement makers. The problem with white folk is that they would rather define themselves, than be themselves. Hence they’re/our tendency to upset apple carts on a a regular basis.
According to transactional analysis founder Dr Eric Berne, the problem with most people (and we can apply the statement to ‘white people’ which formed the bulk of his practice) is that they would rather ‘play games’ than have real relationships. Games – by which he meant any social interaction with a ulterior level or motive – allow people to fake intimacy by pretending to be themselves. Thus intimacy can be completely avoided – if you’re just a little bit clever. It also allows the venting of emotions that might be too uncomfortable to deal with head on. The classic example is the moral prude who condemns pornography, but has to read it all the time, so he can cite the appropriate examples of how awful it is. He also gets to talk about it all the time, as long as he talks about how bad it is – “Filthy, but genuinely arousing”. It all stems from the white man’s basic problem – crooked heartedness.
BTW white people love progressive rock/art rock. I’ve got Jethro Tull’s Thick as a Brick on as I write!
Y’know, when I was in college, there was this one time that my friends and I got really drunk and played strip Candyland. It was even more shameful than it sounds. But now I know that I was just performing my race! Sweet!
The same group of friends and I also organized a massive game of Calvinball. For the win!
this pretty much sums up my life. Whenever I’m with friends we ALWAYS play children’s games. We had to stop playing Red Rover though, because some people are a little too aggressive and broke someone’s nose.
Haha, White People in San Francisco Really like playing Kids Games
I’m not sure if this article applies to the UK as well as the USA… I can assure you that I don’t know any white adults who play childrens’ games (though I suppose any excuse to try some new wine would make it possible). This is still funny though because I can just imagine it!
And also, on a slightly different note, why is it that whenever I look at the comments to these posts there is always some argument about Jews going on (see the top of the comments). Get a life people- let’s comment on the article!
Dodgeball is also popular white people game. I’m pretty fond of Kickball but also Apples to Apples with plenty of alkeehol.
Jewish princess, warm up the ovens!
Jesus was Jewish…
No, you’re right, he’s not anymore, but he became a CEO at the company he worked for for 22 years. He’s now retired, living in the tristate area and a minister. He’s embraced “Christian living” (rolls eyes), he’s still a good man but his stories aren’t as funny as they used to be.
My mother is a Haitian immigrant living in a suburb of Toronto. Yep, my dad’s sick because he found a very attractive woman (she was beautiful then and she’s still beautiful now) 12 years his junior and made her his bride. This is so rare and atypical of male behaviour.
Your main problem is that you are so narcissistic that you believe you’ve got the world pegged and you know everything. The fact of the matter is, not everyone lives like you, not everyone thinks like you. Some people don’t live hatefully and as a result are quite happy.
Portnoy, I was reading this study about people with extremist views like yourself and that being tied to mental illness. I can’t address you anymore, I fear I’m provoking a mental patient.
For example, patients with Alzhiemer’s, a degenerative condition of the brain, are fairly likely to start spouting off the same hateful crap you do when they get to the infantile stage of the condition.
And making a comment about trailer park people is generally acceptable middle-class humour. You would know this if you weren’t likely low-income yourself.
I also made a joke about ghetto Harlem trash, but I’m sure you omitted that in your crazed, exclamation point-filled rant. Dude, seriously, you gotta calm down, you’re giving yourself an ulcer. Are you really going to let successful white men interracially mixing bother you that much? lol
Is pre-drinking a white thing? Yesterday I took my boo out for his birthday (with his guy friend), and they just HAD to predrink to the point of being tipsy before arriving at the club. I dunno, maybe everyone does this though? I really wouldn’t know, my limit is one drink an evening.
Speaking of which, I’ve had a wonderful weekend:) I surprised him on his birthday on Friday with the gadget he’d been wanting for awhile, a Blizzard cake from Dairy Queen (man… those things are good!), took him out for some birthday dinner, took him out to dance, gave him a “Happy birthday” wake up call ๐ ๐ ๐ Ain’t love grand? I love birthdays.
Last year I took him to a 5-star restaurant for his birthday dinner and they brought us a bird that wasn’t cooked, I mean, the thing could’ve still been moving it was so raw and pink, and charged us $25.00 for what basically was a glorified hash brown. There’s something to be said for simple pleasures and meals.
Drunk candyland.
Good times ๐
As a ‘white person’ from Scotland, I can confirm this to be a universal truth about white people: White people love playing childrens’ games as adults.
another childrens game that white adults like to play is sledding in the winter.
Tammy Faye Baker…are you listening ? I know,I know she’s dying/has died of cancer- which is sad in any case. But the reference is funny
Crush from AMERICAN GLADIATORS may be the hottest chick on TV right now…what do you guys think?
http://www.nbc.com/American_Gladiators/video/#mea=258326
Watch her on AMERICAN GLADIATORS on Mondays at 8/7c on NBC
dude she may b the hottest Tranny on the planet, besides the shows sucks!
is that even fair to let a Tranny be on American Gladiators?
these entries are getting worse and worse. if thats not because hes saving up good ones to put in the book then this blog and the book are in serious trouble.
this is an EXCELLENT entry! once I saw the title I knew it was a winner.
Colbert 08 yo.
Hey, how come no one has posted about games involving handcuffs and dungeons? That used to be fun back in the 80’s, but as one grows older, it starts to feel very lame. Prob even that particular bent of degeneracy has been infiltrated by the multi-culti’s. Can’t even have dumb doofy dress up faires without having our role-playing doofyness ruined. Still like Scrabble though.
http://tiny.cc/RKnAk
White people play chess. When we’re kids, it’s because it’s a great game.
When we go off to college, we play it because winning says, “I’m smarter than you,” the ultimate White Value which affirms our cosmic worth while — even better — pissing on someone else in a comprehensively destructive yet socially acceptable way.
If we’re smarter, we’re entitled. For what? To squish the people around us, and take what they have for ourselves. Their careers, their promotions, their ideas, their credit… no one will call us on it because, and any given level of the climb up the backs of others less worthy, we assholes have learned we get highest by covering for each other by looking the other way.
that sounds like a fantastic way to get yourself shot. I suggest you try that with anything but white people.
Bullshit. There is no meritocracy, race and gender quotas permeate every aspect of life – university admissions, hiring, etc.
I only wish that we, the demonstrably superior, were accorded the respect we deserve in academia and the workplace, but that hasn’t been the case for many years now. Instead, we get torpid Millenials and the grievance cohort who think they are entitled to shit. This leads to disharmony.
It’s actually against the law to give an IQ test to a job applicant, for example. Given the subjective nature of a college diploma, why not just let businesses hire the smartest people?
The world is getting more and more entrepreneurial and meritocratic by the minute. And I’m only talking about the lagging North America. A bit of a cruise right now if you have the right skills, I think.
Also, there have been nepotistic quotas being filled in our great institutions and businesses since the dawn of free society. To think that this gets in the way of opportunity to an education or making lots of cash is silly. Arm yourself with education and skills and you won’t be so bummed out.
Are the friends multicultural?
Not meant to hijack this thread, but I went to an Indian wedding this weekend. The Desi’s born here in the US are whiter than any white person I know. Its true!
Dude, “Apples to Apples” is so last year, and sadly too new to inspire any deep-seated nostalgia.
Thanks to the Wii, childhood video games are having a full-on revival amongst white Gen-Xers and my cohorts — Generation Pepsi Next. “MarioKart” is especially hot right now, but don’t underestimate the Wii Sport edition of “Duck Hunt”.
I think “God is a white people” is the funniest thing I’ve heard this week, which is saying a lot since I work with teenagers.
But it’s only Tuesday.
Haha, schweet.
I think ultimate frisbee counts as a sport, not a childhood game on a par with “Red Rover”. It is totally white though.
Does this explain why Boyfriend’s mom bought a PS2, two “Dance Dance Revolution” pads, and a Wii with four remotes, even though she lives alone hours away and we see her only a few times a year? Or is she secretly having large white people games nights and not inviting us?
Makes IKEA look like WALMART?? A lofty claim indeed!!
Ah, if you’re going to count Laser Tag, then Paint Ball isn’t far behind! Especially beloved by white guys who have never been in the armed forces but always loved GI Joe.
What’s that? It’s multi-cultural? O, now you’ve done it! The white people are gonna eat this up!
Um, “Apples to Apples” already IS a travel edition. Pick up the deck of cards and walk out your front door. Ta-da! Please don’t encourage them to make a new version.
on
the
nose
.
Getting back to the subject. I know some white people in their 30’s that love to play role-playing games. They join on line groups and spend hundreds of dollars traveling to play these games. People have been warned that those types of games if you play to much can detach you from reality.
I don’t know of any person of color that has the time or desire as adults to do such a immature activity.
I look this one couple in for example and say to myself what about your health? Both our way over weight and have no plans to financially secure their future. They act like kids.
http://www.culturallycool.com
So true!
http://www.theceelist.com
This site always seems to point out my general lack of whiteness. I wonder if I shouldn’t have a heart to heart with my Mother to see if there is something she needs to tell me and if I shouldn’t start checking the box OTHER when I am asked about my race.
โข #102 Childrenโs Games as Adults โ I am of the a believer in the theory that the more complex the mind the more the need for play.
โข #101 Being Offended – I said earlier that I judge people as they come one at a time. As far as being offended you can find something at sometime was done to every race, creed, nationality, ethnic/geo/political/economic group that every walked the face of the earth, thatโs a lot of offense and I have neither the time nor the energy to be that offended. I think it would be better study and learn from these mistakes and do ones best to not repeat them or allow others to commit them.
โข #100 Bumper Stickers – I have only one an American Flag I think that covers just about every thing that is right and good in this world.
โข #99 Grammar – Ainโt got no grammar.
โข #98 The Ivy League – Got to love that Wonder Woman! OOPS! Wrong League!
โข #97 Scarves – I donโt want anything wrapped around my neck no a scarf or a collar, chain, or a rope.
โข #96 New Balance Shoes – Donโt own any, I guess I donโt fit in to the New Balance stores.
โข #95 Rugby โ Is to football as professional basketball is to intercity basketball.
โข #94 Free Healthcare โ Medical care run by the people who run the postal service, sorry but to me thatโs scary.
โข #93 Music Piracy – I wonder how these people would feel if someone hacked into their companyโs payroll system and occasional transferred an hours pay to someone elseโs account. Or if they came out and found their car missing and note saying: โI had a hot date and need a sweet ride. I liked the look of yours so I am using it. I promise to drive it around make sure everyone sees it and I will tell them what a great ride it is! Donโt worry I will talk it up so much that when (and if) I return it to you the resale value will be TERMENDOUS!โ
โข #92 Book Deals – The problem used to be it was hard to get published now they seem to want to print everything even stuff that doesnโt read as good as the newspaper in the bottom of a bird cage.
โข #91 San Francisco โ Beautiful city with lots to see and do, but two of my most memorable experiences while there were one: Coming out of a nice restaurant on Fishermanโs Warf and into a crowd of homeless whoโs bodies reeked so bad that I was barely able to hold down the good meal I just had. The second was walking pass a homeless man with a sign that said: Please help HIV, Hepatitis, TB. Now I did feel sorry for the guy, but I also felt like going back to my hotel and burning my shoes because I walked on the same sidewalk as this guy.
โข #90 Dinner Parties โ Good friends and good food whatโs not to like?
โข #89 St. Patrickโs Day โ Always catch the Quite Man every March the 17th.
โข #88 Having Gay Friends โ See answer #7
โข #87 Outdoor Performance Clothes โ I prefer good outdoor clothes of even work type clothes they are usually more comfortable, cheaper, last longer, and hardly ever go out of style.
โข #86 Shorts โ When and were appropriate, but I hate sandals!
โข #85 The Wire โ Never seen it and havenโt planned on it either.
โข #84 T-Shirts โ Got plenty and can always use a few more.
โข #83 Bad Memories of High School โ Get over it already.
โข #82 Hating Corporations โ I have a few with Comcast at the top of my list, but then if I only didnโt have a TV that would fix it.
โข #81 Graduate School โ Seems to me these people always have a lot in common with those who studied abroad (See answer #72).
โข #80 The Idea of Soccer โ Not only do I not care for soccer, I donโt care for the idea of it either.
โข #79 Modern Furniture โ I buy furniture for comfort NEVER for style.
โข #78 Multilingual Children โ Well to me a person that never studied a second language I always found it both cool and embarrassing that a kid can do something I never learned to do.
โข #77 Musical Comedy โ Not really
โข #76 Bottles of Water โ Never caught on with me.
โข #75 Threatening to Move to Canada โ I wish most of those who threatened this would do it!
โข #74 Oscar Parties โ I donโt get this one, maybe a Super Bowl Party, but an Oscar Party?
โข #73 Gentrification โ I live were I feel comfortable not to make a statement.
โข #72 Study Abroad โ I studied a number of women. OOOPS! Very few people I know that studied abroad ever seem to have learned anything.
โข #71 Being the only white person around โ No I am like camouflage I prefer to blend in.
โข #70 Difficult Breakups โ See answer #66
โข #69 Mos Def โ WHO?
โข #68 Michel Gondry โ WHO?
โข #67 Standing Still at Concerts โ I just want the guy in front of me to SIT DOWN! So I can enjoy the over price ticket that Ticketmaster greedily sold me.
โข #66 Divorce โ Been there done that I saw nothing about it I like to do again.
โข #65 Co-Ed Sports โ Depends on the sport, is mud wrestling a sport?
โข #64 Recycling โ I do my part, but I donโt go crazy over it either.
โข #63 Expensive Sandwiches โ If I want a sandwich I make it at home.
โข #62 Knowing Whatโs Best for Poor People โ I am not always sure whatโs best for myself so I tend not to give advice to others.
โข #61 Bicycles- Always fun, but I โm not ever going to buy one that cost more than my first car.
โข #60 Toyota Prius โ I stick with my Dodge Dakota
โข #59 Natural Medicine โ It should always be looked at, but never completely relied upon.
โข #58 Japan โ Take it or leave it, but they do make cool TVโs, but wait there I go I not suppose to want a TV.
โข #57 Juno โ Never been to Alaska, OOPs! My mistake. I might watch it some night when I have insomnia.
โข #56 Lawyers โ For the same reason I like looking at the vipers at the zoo and the sharks at the aquarium.
โข #55 Apologies โ Sorry I donโt get this one.
โข #54 Kitchen Gadgets โ Not me, I whip eggs with a fork.
โข #53 Dogs โ Dogs do go to heaven, itโs a reward for having to put up with us!
โข #52 Sarah Silverman โ About as funny as a case of (insert you favorite communicable disease).
โข #51 Living by the Water โ Moving white water with mountains on a good clean lake.
โข #50 Irony- Ironic isnโt it?
โข #49 Vintage โ Depends, but I do tend to like things that never go out of style.
โข #48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops โI do like a good granola.
โข #47 Arts Degrees โ Yeah that was a good use of time and money.
โข #46 The Sunday New York Times โ All the lies that are fit to print.
โข #45 Asian Fusion Food โ YUCK!
โข #44 Public Radio โDefinitely NO!
โข #43 Plays โNot Really
โข #42 Sushi โ Fish is something that should be rolled in corn meal and then thrown into a skillet of hot grease!
โข #41 Indie Music โMusic I like what I like which may be only one song that someone did over an entire career.
โข #40 Apple Products โNever bit the Apple.
โข #39 Netflix โ I donโt trust the mail enough!
โข #38 Arrested Development โ It was an ok show, but I didnโt lose any sleep when ever I missed it or when it got canceled.
โข #37 Renovations โ Depends on whatโs being done (See answer #34).
โข #36 Breakfast Places โ This one does fit me, because I love a good breakfast!
โข #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report โ Four words: He is an ASS!
โข #34 Architecture โYes it can be interesting, but I โlikes what I likeโ, unfortunately some people are like parents are about their children and they donโt realize that they a beautiful only to them!
โข #33 Marijuana โ No thank you I am quite capable of make a fool out of myself on my own and I need no chemical assistance.
โข #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism โ Pigs, cows, and chickens are ugly and deserve to be eaten.
โข #31 Snowboarding โSnow is something that should fall on Christmas Eve and be gone by the day after Christmas.
โข #30 Wrigley Field โ Baseball almost as boring as basketball and more uncomfortable to watch.
โข #29 80s Night โ 1980โs not interested. Now a 1880โs I always loved Westerns!
โข #28 Not having a TV โโThey will have to pry my remote from my cold dead hand!โ
โข #27 Marathons โ My answer here is another movie quote, this time from the movie The Faculty: “I feel that a person should run only when he’s being chased.”
โข #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!) โ I hear itโs a nice place to visit, but I sure and the hell donโt want to live there and there is a very long list of places I rather visit first.
โข #25 David Sedaris โWHO?
โข #24 Wine โ I can take it or leave it, but a good glass of wine and good company always worked for me.
โข #23 Microbreweries โI like a good brew, but nothing fancy and a Sam Adams or any good dark beer suites me fine.
โข #22 Having Two Last Names โNever could get the why of this? Seems to just make it easier when you get divorced.
โข #21 Writers Workshops- I canโt write well and I sure and hell canโt spell so I just stick with my โworkshopโ any one need a new set of book shelves?
โข #20 Being an expert on YOUR culture โ I am satisfied just being a good American so I donโt feel the need to hyphenate it and add more to it, I mean it would be like watering down good whiskey!
โข #19 Traveling โ You got me there I do like to see new places.
โข #18 Awareness โ Whatโs the alternative to be unaware? In this world everyone has an opinion or belief, so I say be aware, but be wary.
โข #17 Hating their Parents โ Well only if you never grow up. Makes me think of a line from the movie Road to Perdition: When I am asked if Michael Sullivan was any good or if there was just no good in him at all? I always answer the same way; “He was my Father.”
โข #16 Gifted Children โ Hopefully all children are gifted, and I believe itโs up to us as parents to help them find their gift.
โข #15 Yoga โ Itโs ok if it has strawberries in it. OOPS! Sorry my mistake he was cool, but I like his pal Boo-Boo better. OOOPS! My mistake again yes he was a great Manager! OOPS! Oh well it ainโt over till itโsโ over.
โข #14 Having Black Friends โAgain see my answer to #7
โข #13 Tea โYes, I love my iced tea and a cup of hot tea with cinnamon when I am camping or sick with a cold. (Hmm thereโs something white people like thatโs camping.)
โข #12 Non-Profit Organizations โ I know some that are very worthy and some that are worthless.
โข #11 Asian Girls โSee answer to #7
โข #10 Wes Anderson Movies โWHO?
โข #9 Making you feel bad about not going outside โI let people do want they want to do and I expect the same from them.
โข #8 Barack Obama- I can think of a lot of Black people I could vote for and that are more deserving of the nomination than he will ever be.
โข #7 Diversity โ Yes always a positive, but I take people one at a time with their attitude and manner weight much, much more than age, race, sex, or national origin.
โข #6 Organic Food โTake it or leave it, besides at my age I figure some preservatives might just keep me from โspoilingโ sooner than I like.
โข #5 Farmerโs Markets โThey are cool, I mean who doesnโt want fresh food?
โข #4 Assists โOther than an occasional one on one game or just fooling around shooting a few hoops I find basketball very boring!
โข #3 Film Festivals โNEVER! Most of the movies they show at those things are BORING and always very pretentious. I go to a movie to enjoy a movie not to be hip or fit in.
โข #2 Religions their parents donโt belong to โWell I am a deist, so I am not sure that counts?
โข #1 Coffee โ I do like a cup or two of coffee in the morning through the week, but we are talking about plain old Folgers, sorry no nonfat half latte decaff with a sprinkle of nutmeg for me.
I am in an adult kick ball league and I love it!!!
Um no offense guys, but with over 100 entries on here, including “Asian girls,” how come BLACK MEN are not on here yet?
BLACK MEN haven’t even cracked the Top 100 of favorite White things yet? How so? Have any of you guys ever been in a club???
What about sloshball?!
There’s nothing like having a keg on second and jungle juice waiting for you at home plate.-Wait, would this qualify me as the wrong kind of white person?
do video games count?
Not all communists were Jews, but almost all jews were communists or communist-sympathizers.
Learn your history, you anti-White asshole and bigot.
OK, jew…..you convinced me “we are all the same”, and Jews think they are the exact same people as goyim!!
LOL!!!
Fool, fool, fool…..go try going to israel and tell then they are the same as their arab muslim neighbors.
Try your “anthropology” propaganda on real racists and see how far you get.
what about skanky jew Amy Winehouse and her rant:
In the home footage, filmed by the Grammy Award-winning singerโs husband Blake Fielder-Civic, Winehouse sings a football chant to the tune of the British childrenโs song โHeads, Shoulders, Knees and Toesโ. In place of the conventional words, however, Winehouse sings with a friend: โBlacks, pakis, gooks and nips.โ
White people do not like STDs.
Are you an analyst for a Wall Street firm? You probably have good Excel skills.
Even a colorblind person wouldn’t make such a nonsensical comment.
Asian countries are on the rise. They are inherently racist. There is literally zero chance that you’d see “affirmative action” or other hateful and biased quotas being enacted in Japan, South Korea, Singapore, or China. They don’t even let non-native races immigrate there. Try convincing them that their countries will improve by importing 50 million Mexicans, Nigerians or Hindus.
I wonder why the “anti-racist” types are so silent about Asian racists? Why do “anti-racists” never protest Israel??
“Anti-racist” is code for someone who HATES Whites and Whites only.
Liberal Whites who get suckered on that ideology aren’t very intelligent. Most of those types of Whites won’t reproduce, or will have non-White offspring, which proves how stupid they are on the Darwinist scale.
What continent are you on?
In Europe the clubs are White and into techno and trance (which is White music).
In the USA, the clubs are unfortunately Negro-filled cesspools with hip-hop.
Your father has/had the mental illness, and you inherit your genes from your parents.
It is rare to see White men that marry black women. Very rare outside of television programs.
Your dad must have been a fruitcake.
I just don’t understand why non-Whites choose to troll a White blog.
that’s racist
Why would Whites be held to a higher standard if “we’re all the same”?
You contradict yourself so much it’s likely you never finished high school.
Stuffwhitepeoplelike jumped the shark with this one
What about Twister? that sexy game that masks itself as a child’s game!
I still haven’t seen “Adopting children from exotic locations” on this list. White people love to adopt children from far away places. Hell, if you want an unloved, minority child why not look into adopting one from any inner city in the United States? Having a brown child on your (white) arm is even better than a Birkin bag these days.
Here in Portland ( a place white people love), dodgeball is very popular for adult recreation. But, there are also spelling bees in various drinking stablishments.
People who get drunk are retarded.
Excellent analysis of the comments.. Love number 6
hrhkat-don’t let these idiots bother you. Just enjoy the blog. No worries.
I am missing out on this stuff, My white friends are not white enough!!!
I dont think I even own a board game……………
#103 Tanning
What the hell does this have to do with taking my boo out for his birthday? Oh right, nothing. You’re a crackhead.
This blog’s 15 minutes are over.
“Unlike the practice of having their parents help with rent, this activity is a pleasant reminder to white people that they have not fully severed their ties with childhood.”
Godd*mn hilarious.
I love how you poke fingers at rich people. There are trust fund kids for every color of the rainbow in New York City. A friend of mine worked in real estate and was hawking apartments in the East Village to a wealthy Asian family who wanted to buy their daughter an apartment. The older brother had a problem with the area, although it was close to NYU, because he thought it “was full of scumbags.” Translation: dirty white hipsters. Just wanted to give you an example of the tables being turned.
Anyway, I am white and I can tell you this: My parents are not wealthy, and they did not give me or my sisters a dime, NOT A DIME, to pay our rent. Ever! They did not give any of us a dime to pay for our college educations. My sisters and I did all that by ourselves. The fact that I managed to put myself through college and am now debt free is one of my proudest accomplishments. My cousins who can’t seem to graduate after 8 years at various undergraduate institutions, whose parents do pay their rent, take care of their pets, clean up all of their mistakes, and litereally create businesses so they can have jobs, will never know what it’s like to earn anything.
Despite all this, I love playing children’s games. And maybe that’s the innate whiteness in me. Give me a round of elbow tag, Connect4, or the chance to dress up in a costume and I’m on it.
You sholud white a article about how dead white people are!
http://www.theceelist.com
God, I’d forgotten about Smear the Queer – I loved that game! If you were the Queer, and got caught, the others would hold you down and give you a pink belly.
You must have played the nice version. In our version the queer got his ass kicked for minute or so. It wasn’t fun to play the queer, but it was fun to play the queer, get your ass kicked, get up and chase the next asshole down and punch him in the face or kick him in the nuts! That’s good times! ๐
You are quite correct, you cannot beat a game of Adult twister or Operation. It is amazing how you remember the rules but seem to get worse with age.
Chris
http://www.thevisitingbrit.com
You know what else white people like? America’s Got Talent. They love that show! Check it out on Tuesdays on NBC 9/8c
http://www.nbc.com/Americas_Got_Talent/video/index.shtml#mea=262134
“Dodgeball is game of humiliation, degradation and exclusion. It in no way affirms the self-esteem or the inherent uniqueness of each participant, only the winner.”
I *absolutely* agree.
All my white friends and I are nuts about board games, card games, sledding in winter, frisbee in summer, and many other childish pursuits… we would never play dodgeball. Besides the game’s being ‘too competitive’ for some, and bringing up bad school or childhood memories for others (the whole point is to reconnect to childhood through childish games because in theory childhood was a good place to be, not a place where you got embarrassed or beaned in the head), it’s a game that systematically exiles one player after another to the sidelines, which is totally against the White Person ethic of inclusiveness.
Absolutely true. Count me in as one of those white people.
If you get a chance, check out http://www.laughtank.com it has some cool stuff
Techno, white music?
I think the three black dudes that invented it in Detroit would take issue with that assesment.
And technically, the original prototype for Trance was also created by a black dude. Look up the track “Star Dancer.” These days, however, trance is about the furthest thing from music as I can comprehend — no soul, nothing. Feel free to keep that one, white folks. ๐
T
Remember kick ball? We should start a league.
I actually organzied the one in the picture up top- one of the participants emailed me this link. Though not shown in the picture the primary protagonist was a black girl. oh the irony. Get the rest of the pics under Photos at http://www.bostonsos.org
Hi ho Jimmy, how are your hamsters? You silly fruitcake freak, lick my balls.
http://www.HoneyDewThis.com
PMS (Premenstrual syndrome). Also know as Psychotic Mood Shift, Pissy Mood Syndrome and Pass My Sweat-Pants, is defined by WebMD.com as, โa medical condition that has symptoms that affect many women of childbearing age. PMS can cause a variety of physical and psychological symptoms that occur just before your menstrual period.โ This condition is apparent when your loving girlfriend turns into the Incredible Hulk after you drank out of the orange juice carton. Or when she begins sobbing after spilling a glass of milk. The most telling sign of oncoming PMS are when the skin colored nipple high Grandma Panties and old college sweat pants are brought out and considered acceptable couture. This period of the month requires extreme delicacy when interacting with the female species. One misstep, for example, leaving the toilet seat up, can lead to catastrophic results. Many men have met their demise for that very offense during PMS. A manโs common everyday interactions and conversions with women must be altered for this volatile period. Common banter like, โHey Sweetie, whatโs for dinner?โ must be substituted with phrases like, โWow, you look stunning in those gray sweat pants and fuzzy bunny slippers!โ Pleasurable actives like back massages, going to the ball game and hosting a guys night are completely out of the question. And if thoughts of any sort of sexual interaction comes to mind, you are well advised to take a cold shower or โrelieveโ yourself.
http://www.HoneyDewThis.com
No thanks, swish. I’m not into bestiality.
hahahahahahahahaha
Good one!
white people (middle class people to be accurate although i know you U.S bitches dont like to admit there are classes) like ‘stuff white people like’
Funny how there is a brown man in the picture playing along with the “white people”
This US beyatch is fully aware of the class structure in America. I must say, though, what white people really like is watching CNN as bombs are being dropped on idiots try to defend themelves with aging AA batteries against the best pilots and planes on the planet. That’s beer drinking, party TV time right there.
they seem to be defending themselves pretty well as far as i can see
and i would also suggest that only ‘idiots’ watch CNN
the best fighter pilots and gaaddam planes on the planet! hooowah!
fuckin a
shall we go kill some gooks now?
the irony of white people (MCs) loving to be able to laugh at their own pathetic predictable self depracating irony is beyond me
shrouding class snobbery with colour is fucking stoopid…we should bomb those wanky blagging wank fests straight up
hey check my ironic blog….its so ironic its actually imploded in on itself
SUCK MY COCK
Hackey sack. Check mate dude!
so true!!! don’t talk to each other, just play a game and have that stand in place of a meaningful encounter!!!
lol….i love the 3 legged race….lol
http://www.Shop-Luscious.com
Good Morning America plays kids games too…
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=8407332&ch=4226713&src=news
but at least most white people can admit they are wrong without having to pull a nine on someone over it, and then bitch about landing in jail because of skin color… not stopping to think that it was because the person popped a cap in someone.
and no, i’m not white. thanks for asking. i generally can’t stand white people, but that part just deserved to have something said about it.
not everything is racist, but this book sho’ is… and some of it ain’t even that funny. i wear a cardigan, for example, cause in the South it gets cold but not cold enough for a jacket.
I actually think this should be games in general. Me and my white friends love playing all kinds of games…board games, trivia games, it doesn’t matter. Toss in some wine or beer and you’ve got yourself a perfect white Saturday night. You haven’t lived until you’ve had a Jenga showdown go until 3am. Talk about fun.
http://www.twowhiteboys.com/2008
Your next entry should be (#104)
Stuff White People Like: Being Financially Independent, Community Oriented, Socially Conscious, Law Abiding, Well Mannered, and Not Being a Burden on Society. In other words, generally things needed to have a productive society.
Unlike most minorities.
Censor me and I will become offended! On behalf of a minority, of course.
This post was spell checked and has proper grammar. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, whitey.
Another thing that white people like besides children’s games is convenience and I found a white people website just for that at http://www.linkrow.com where you can link to every website without having to go into your favorites or type it in a search engine.
I don’t believe in censorship, but I do believe you should be kicked in the scrotum or vulva for making such a broad, disrespectful, idiotic generalization. I’m not sure if I’m more disgusted by your defense of the many, many, many financially irresponsible, selfish, ill-mannered white people out there, or if it’s the unfounded b.s. you’re spewing about “minorities” that really bothers me. This website is a joke. It is clearly not intended to insult white people. It is just funny. What you said is untrue, mean and not funny at all. By the way, you have clearly demonstrated your lack of being “socially conscious” and “community oriented”.
Michelle….You ROCK!!!
Purell. White people LOVE Purell. Every white person has a huge dispenser of Purell on their desk. They also have the little travel size to carry in public places.
I recently did a power hour along with monopoly with a group of friends; one was not white, but he acts more white than any of my white friends. Anyway, it was a blast!
dee bag, you’ve proven the truth of an ancient religious proverb: “God works part-time making assholes.”
Stuff White People Like:
Being Financially Independent- otherwise known as living in mom’s basement well into their 30’s
Community Oriented- by making sure no minority lives in or actually gets an active voice in “their” community
Socially Conscious- to the point where most suburbanites can barely back out of their driveway of their McMansion on the way to Target without hitting a deer
Law Abiding- except for those pesky things like civil liberties for all people including the brown ones
Well Mannered- if you call giving every non-white person you see the stinkeye BEFORE you finally get over the shock of encountering a non-white person well-mannered, well ok
Not Being a Burden on Society- You’ve got to be kidding. They shoved the Native Americans to a small corner of the continent, booted the Mexicans south and brought in black folks to do the work they were to lazy to do and kept all the money AND still won’t acknowledge it
In other words, generally things needed to have a racist, bigoted, socially backward counter-productive society.
Unlike most minorities.
This is the space for hate!…
Speaking positively about whites automatically is acceptably followed by speaking negatively about whites.
Speaking negatively about non-whites automatically is acceptably followed by speaking positively about non-whites
Know the rules ๐
This is undoubtedly true.
We have played massive games of sardines in the late nights at university. It was truly awesome. We invited all kinds of non-whites to come play as well.
For one of my friends birthdays we played monopoly for 4 or 5 hours and would not tolerate anyone saying that his birthday was lame in anyway.
Oh! I commonly play charades!
I don’t get it. I mean… sure candy land and chutes and ladders maybe. But board games is board games. Monopoly is a fucking mind bender. I had to be eighteen before I could win at monopoly. Same with Risk and Clue.
I’m just saying, board games shouldn’t qualify.
Maybe that’s just because I’m white.
I thought the point of this website was for minorities to find the “right type of white person.”
You know… the kind that feel guilty about slavery and will do favors for you if you’re brown and you know this stuff.
Hey, I have a Purell dispenser on my desk, and a mini one that I carry around in my purse. I thought EVERYONE (I’m black) loved Purell!
This is crazy.
I’m white, but this site pretty much is describing alot of my friends who, over the years, have become very liberal in their views about the world, politics,….
always wearing scarves. Guys and girls I know. There’s this one guy. He’s in a band in Milwaukee, lives in riverwest (the trendy-hipster white area)… he’ll wear a fedora, have a backpack, a white t-shirt and be wearing a scarf.
Always drinking coffee and telling me about quaint little places that have the BEST coffee he ever tasted.
He and his friends will get together and play CandyLand, Shutes and Ladders… all while getting drunk and laughing about NOTHING.
They have this huge kickball league. They tried getting me to join but I said “that’s stupid” and they all laughed. Oddly enough, it’s everyone from his ultimate frisbee league.
And when that hack comedian/singer Stephen Lynch came to town, they were all in line to see it.
And dinner parties like you wouldn’t imagine. I’ll go over to his house to hang out or chat and what do I find? He and his crystal having, liberal nut-cake, yoga freak girl setting up the table for their guests. And there’s always bound to be two guys with some goofy t-shirt under a sports coat.
I never stay for the dinner parties. 1st, because they are stupid. They just sit there drink wine, talk about the wine they really like, how many times they’ve gone to wine country… complain about politics… on and on.
I’ll usually be in the other room playing video games, swearing about getting killed, while they comment on me just “not getting it”.
I never would have guessed white people were into kickball and Candyland. How strange. I was always more of the Scrabble/Trivial Pursuit type myself– but then again, I’m not white.
Thank you very much for this new insight into the mind of the white person. I’ll have to pick up Hungry, Hungry Hippos on my way home from work and invite my boss over. That promotion will be mine in no time!
Gee whiz! I have never even heard of Monopoly or this Jenga game, and my wife never has PMS. I guess it must be the Irish blood tainting our heretofore supposed whiteness, Darned immigrants anyway! Our lovely little white children attended school here in Lotus-Land at elementary schools which hit a Post Hong-Kong exodus high of 98% ESL (English as a second language). I’m betting they are scarred for life and will only be able to find happiness by marrying South-asian / Chinese Hybrids.
I believe this rule also applies to Asians. Have you ever seen an Asian game show? They are absolutely childish and hilarious. However, instead of going to jail like in monopoly they get kicked in the nuts. I actually have a funny video of it on my website garbarrassing.com. Here is the direct link if anyone is interested:
http://www.garbarrassing.com/Comment/Videos/0010.php
Anyways…I love this blog. Just throwin that out there.
black people are far more racist then white people are…black people (not every single black person) are also alot more sensitive while white people enjoy hearing a joke about themselves…i hate how our society frowns upon the white man who says a black joke yet shows apathey or even smiles upon the black man telling a white joke
this entire book is full of stereotypes or just plain false statements that most WHITE people have never even heard of…someone needs to make a book about how to befriend a black person…heres some ideas; always wear urban clothing such as Lrg, sean john, etc., talk with an accent and make sure to say things like “dawg” and “mane” in your sentences, alway sag and use one of your arms to hold up the jeans/shorts but make sure u place your hand in your crotch area, buy a New York Yankees 59 50 hat and make sure to keep the sticker at the top (why black people like the sticker on top remains a mystery to me), occasionally make comments about how you saw a white guy being racist to a black guy and how you hate the white racist race!, if ever asked who ur role model is then you say, “my mama” and if asked why just say how she worked 2 jobs just to keep food on the table and how determined and ring she was (also mention your 6 other brothers and sisters)
white people havent heard of these stereotypes because white people think of themselves as raceless/cultureless , as just “normal” and everyone else is all different and ethnic. this blog is written by a white person, and tough shit that you dont like that black people jabbing at white people is justified, because black people experience dumb shit like the stuff you say all the time and just have to suck it up and deal with it so it might do you well to learn to do so as well
It’s tongue and cheek, it’s humor, it’s satire laced with some real truths. Black people love to make up the rules for a game they didnt create… dawg we should do it this way!
Kay Dawg and Jay dawg; keep keepin’ it real!
jay dawg those are terrible and hostile comments towards Black people. Shame on you!
I used to play Monopoly at a bar on a weekly basis. I am white too!! One of the other players was Asian, actually half-Asian, half-white…. hmmmmmmmm….
In case you are also white, and therefore like this idea so much that you just fealt a warm, calming sensation reverberate throughout your entire body, just keep one thing in mind: Next time you are passing GO and collecting $200 at your local pub, make sure there is an alt-lite beer in the middle for chugging when you land on FREE PARKING.
Way to be bad White People… There is a CLEAR grammatical error in #102, which clearly violates the aforementioned content of the article, “Typos a la Carte”.
Though this is not listed on a menu, it is listed on the main page of the website, which I believe is very similar to a menu. (coming from a White Person that is)
“…or even Hide and Go Seek your popularity would with white people would skyrocket. In addition, you would likely become a legend in your office.”
“would with white people would skyrocket.”? What is that?!
Lord J.
another great way to maintain your childhood by playing games: engaging in low, unintelligent, pointing-the-finger arguments…aka what a few of us are doing in the comments about “Appearing Empathetic”
honey we absolutely DO NOT think of ourselves as raceless or cultureless. i celebrate every irish, german, french, and austrian tradition that is in my blood. i’m also fluent in french and speak some german, and i’m wondering (if you happen to be black), do you speak any african tribal languages? and i’m so sick of being blamed for slavery that happened a few centuries ago at a time when none of my ancestors were even in this country. also honey, the writer is making fun of himself; that’s the point
your first paragraph, brilliant
the rest, pretty immature
amen. those people are just funny. oh and what about the Whose Line is it Anyway? party games
the goals are nice, but isn’t it cute how Financially Independent undergrads have their parents do their laundry and pay for their groceries..etc etc but hey what the hell good point. I don’t like what you said about most minorities though, they kind of have to catch up to us since we were “here” first and took all the gold ๐
way to get off the topic of board games!
this is so much fun isn’t it!
hey, not every white person is one of the real housewives of orange county. and seriously, laughs, deer can’t help themselves!
and those who truly built up society like rockefeller an vanderbilt left home in their early teens thank you. of course some wise guy is gonna say, it’s not like many many black people didn’t do the same! well thanks langston hughes, of course they did.
i’m an american and i’ll admit it- there most definitely are social classes! of course, we americans are classier than you..tehehe just kidding
dude, go ahead and have a guy’s night cuz when i have pms i want my man outa there until it’s over!
oh, that was great
my applause dahlin you’re amazing
angelina jolie!
…yeah they do
This is SO true! I love Candyland, Life, Monopoly and Scategories and suggest we play some childhood game when my friends and I have nothing else to do. And they always go for it. Ha… And I thought it was just us.
I love this blog. Hilarious.
I used to be called a hippy also a vietnam vet which had to do all peoples celebrating together. I think the media is responsible for all this white people propaganda…I understand what you are saying although the old saying its always greener on the other side could also apply to skin…we live in a time that is not easy and grass ain’t all that green on either side of this political genre
Being a person of a multiracial background, this site would be more accurate if you added this thing that some White people like to do:
1. Lynching
Yea ummm…That would just fall under the category of white southerners. Probably just Texans actually. Any way, you wanna read about how Italy is practically lynching its tourists? Check it out now here: http://www.garbarrassing.com (blog #9)…Good stuff.
oh please, i am so sick of you idiots. going on and on about white people, what about black people? the list would be 10 times longer than this stupid crap. so animal like. always complaining about ooh that white person said that black person, oh please all you people do is say white boy or white girl. f your shit
and slavery has BEEN over, so get over it
Chess, thanks. My Niece can kick your ass in a game.
I am white and i think everything in the book what white people like is a bunch of crap i don’t like any of that stuff. it was just lame and superficial, your book is a rip off
I have a issue with your comment. I am a white person who dresses like a white person and if someone was to ever ask me who my role model was, I would answer “my mama” for the same reason. My mom worked two jobs when I was a child to be able to support me and my brother and little sister after she got out of an abuseful situation. She got remarried and then went back to college at night and worked during the day while still being a wonderful and very involved mother. Now that I am going to college myself, my mom is once again working two jobs and going to school to help me pay for school so that I don’t have to struggle the way she had to. Now if that isn’t something to admire I don’t know what is.
“slavery has BEEN over”??? Maybe you weren’t aware that black people were barred from voting as recently as the 1950s?? That you could still see signs saying “whites only” in the south only a few decades ago?
can we get an entry on here about something visceral we’re into like, “titties”? or even edgier–cunnilingus, and how we’re the only group that would refer to eating pussy with this word.
i know we don’t have the market cornered on either one but some of these entries sting a little. make the nerds feel good…
Why the mentions of slavery my pale brethren?
Michel Gondrey is brilliant, as I keep explaining to my Korean wife.
Bored games are boring, and should not be inflicted on anyone regardless of their race, creed or colour. Connect 4 should be compulsory*.
* Here I have employed the use of irony. Irony is almost as good as Connect4.
what if the games you played as a child were, finish eating those peas or I’ll beat you, or … santas cock stockings or…
white people eat boogers.
Of course board games are boring to adults, that’s why you add alcohol!
get off your high horse. that was yrs ago. time to fuckn move on already!!!
I’m getting so sick of seeing “Tongan pride” or “black pride” etc on the back of cars. If I were to ever put a “White Pride” on the back of my ride I would either get arrested or beat up for being racist. But I AM proud to be white..
You know, nothing’s racist about putting “Irish Pride,” “Scandanavian Pride,” “British Pride,” or “Lithuanian Pride” on your car. Go ahead and blame the Klan for besmirching the “White Pride” epithet. I’m sure several Hindus and American Indians were pretty ticked that Hitler co-opted the noble swastika.
And before you rally about how it’s unfair for Blacks to have such and such a bumper sticker, I think a lot of people find “Black Pride” to be somewhat sketchy as well. Namely because the Black Panthers have been doing so much to hurt the adjective.
This site is not an attempt to explain the likes of all white people, only the group of self-satisfied, supposedly enlightened and post-race white people who don’t like to admit that they are not unique. There are other types of white people out there, such as who are described as rednecks on this forum. White people, as they are described on this website, do not like being compared to rednecks, and these white people would categorize lynching as redneck behavior. Its true, the people where doing the lynching where white, but white people don’t like being associated with those rednecks.
Besides, This is a humor site, and it’s hard to make lynching funny. Unless you are, or are making fun of, a redneck.
You suck
nope. not texas. try arkansas.
Except sitting around drinking 40’s is the kind of thing the “right kind” of white people would do. Simply airbrush out those Milwaukee’s Best bottles and replace them with glasses of red wine or a European beer such as Newcastle Brown Ale.
Except sitting around drinking 40’s is not the kind of thing the “right type” of white people would do. Simply airbrush out those Milwaukee’s Best bottles and replace them with glasses of red wine or a European beer such as Newcastle Brown Ale.
no it hasnt
If you don’t like any of that stuff then you are the wrong kind of white person.
I think this guy needs to see #101.
adult sized games of red rover rarely last long, and typically end with several emergency room visits. it’s a bad idea.
You know you love KICKBALL!!!!!!!
Kickball is really an excuse for girls to wear tight shorts and clingy tops, and for the guys they can drink and pretend to be athletic. WIN/WIN.
Yes….I’m white.
The ’60s-version Mystery Date board game is fun to play when one is high.
There isn’t a period after the 3rd paragraph.
Updated 4:54 p.m. EDT, Thu July 24, 2008
“Adults rush to play dodgeball, duck-duck-goose”
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/24/adult.pe.ap/index.html
I don’t know how this constitutes news at all, but I’m glad to see that SWPL pegged it on this one.
me and nine other high school graduates were training for positions as art camp counselors for little kids… and we spent one whole training day playing kids games, no, not red rover and dodgeball… little LITTLE kids games, ice breakers… and five of us were black. and guess what else? it was fun as hell. I also love how there’s an indian guy in one of those pictures playing candyland, is he white too? i guess anyone who likes to have fun is.
haha, paul. look at post #99.
My marijuana dealer from college who is white and wears glasses and watches Wes Anderson movies used to set up a weekly game of dodgeball where we got together and talked about awareness of social issues and showed off our sweet bracelets. I only have two bracelets, so I immediately lost some whiteness cred, but yeah, super white. Getting high while wearing glasses and playing children’s games as adults. Good stuff.
They really should just rename this blog WHITE PEOPLE REPLY TO STUFF THEY DON’T GET
Seriously as a Mexican everything in this blog is 100% true and I find it hilarious white people don’t get it at all.
What?
http://www.buyrefurbtoday.com
HAHAHAHA!!! I am so white!! All this shit applies to me and I think it’s hilarious. Just reading about playing Red Rover made me smile. Freakin’ hilarious.
My favorite is clue. We are rediculously competitive and are no longer allowed to play the game of Life. It has seriously ended in big time arguments.
HAHAHA! And it’s just not as satisfying unless someone comes along and tells the group how crazy they look. So true!
For the Puerto Rican that I am, this describes me too…..
Regards,
Frank
i suggested it as a company team builder!!
not texas at all
texans are not all a bunch of rednecks
they arent a bunch of cowboys either that ride their horse to work!!
So?
Im so glad i wasnt the only one that played “daddys 3rd arm”
White people DO get it. We just don’t take ourselves so seriously as to draw attention to it. Wouldn’t want to ruin the joke would we? Lol!
Why is it people of color REFUSE to move beyond the past. They want to continue chewing on it like a nice piece of chicken, and when they get to the bone, put it behind their ear and save it for later so they can gnaw on it again. The stench of something old gets worse day by day. There can be no progress in harmony while there is still the bitter taste of the past clouding our day-to-day existence. Continually reminding their children “so they don’t forget”? Forget what? They were not even a part of it. If these precious children never knew about it, they would probably grow up making a difference in the world because they will have known no prejudice/anger. Instead, they are taught from day one to be cautious and guarded against “whitey”. From day one, they learn to carry a prejudice against whitey. Please tell me now who is really the one carrying the torch of prejudice in America? Acknowledging is one thing – reliving it is completely another. And you teach tiny human beings who never knew anything about it that they, too, should feel demoralized, downtrodden and victimized. You plant the seed of prejudice in them from the moment they enter this sacred earth. Why not try planting a seed of value and enlightment instead for one’s own accomplishment of simply being born into this life. Everyone is beautiful until they are told differently and begin believing it for themselves.
I’m black, my white friends are making me play kickball this weekend. And I can’t wait!! Sometimes I like stuff white people like too
Find out which kids games are banned in schools at http://detentionslip.org
I play kickball. I’m so white. It’s just blinding is it not?
monopoly is a great way to make enemies lol
What about race walking???????
I feel like white people LOVE race walking as well. Saw no blacks or asians doing it in the olympics. You should add that to the list of stuff white people like. I also found a hilarious article about race walking at http://www.garbarrassing.com . It’s blog #14 (should see it near the top of the page just scroll down a little bit. Check it out.
Haha, this is like the only one in the list that applies to me, but it does so well! A favourite date for me and my girlfriend was going to a park and playing on the swings. Its awesome! I-spy is a good one too.
What else are we supposed to do, now that we are treated like pariahs for engaging in alleyway craps games, or watching dogs and chickens fight like God intended them to do? Or made to feel creepy for trying to get a good strip poker game going?
Of course only white people love it, it’s not called “multi-race” walking
I don’t know whether to post this under the article on not having television or the one above. Both articles seem related to my observation. I’ve noticed white people really enjoy reminiscing about all the crappy sitcoms of their childhood. They talk about these shows with the same nostalgia an old white person rants about Jimmy Stewart (Old white people also disdain new terminology. You’ll notice this when you find yourself cornered by an old white person repeating the phrase “common sense” at a tribal gathering of white people.). Fawning over past television doesn’t contradict their adult rejection of the medium. White people see life as a succession of milestones that everyone should experience at the appropriate time. They were able to appropriately follow these milestones because they were smart enough not to be born into ineffectual circumstances such as poverty. For example:
1) First step, be born into a family with at least one lawyer.
2) Get a babysitter named The Facts of Life or Three’s Company.
3) Go to college and take an interest in music without learning to play an instrument.
4) Move to a city.
5) Get a job that should go to someone with more practical experience.
6) Get married and have gifted children. Suddenly, the television has returned. You don’t know how this happened but it’s like the return of your one true love.
7) Spend the rest of your days using hand sanitizer and struggling to bring order to your already excessively ordered life.
all this racial banter back and forth is a perfect example how terrible (“turrible” for charles barkley) an idea pigeonholing entire races is. please excuse the pv.
I have never in my life seen ANY adults playing any of these children’s games…
What the heck is British Bulldog???
-Thomas (an iPod-less, non-Tag playing adult white male person)
This is soooooo funny, my brother-in-law, a well paid engineer, belongs to a kickball league. My husbandโs family also loves breakfast, I have been conned into standing in line, in the snow, freezing for an hour and a half all to get a pancake that I only ate half of because it was too early to eat.
One college afternoon, I was watching a bunch of dorm brats hose down a field in preparation for a day of fun when my black friend came by and asked me “What’s going on?”
“They’re getting ready to play mud volleyball.”
“Pffft… Only white people would do this”
I laughed out loud because it was absolutely true.
Thomas but also carries a compact disc (not a CD) player and carries a poor man’s (though maybe considered a hipster’s) PDA (which is basically a little note book that is coupled with an equally small pen or pencil) and probably has the zip code of 11222 who was originally from Dover, DE.
Hey, wait a minute! One of those guys in the picture playing Candy Land is black!
Lol fuck Candy Land, that game sucked anyway.
Axis & Allies and RISK were REAL board games…
And if you call those games “white” too, then so be it…many of the successful conquerors (Napoleon, Hitler, Charlemage) were white Europeans anyway…
***NOTE***
This could apply to be of Central Asian/Turkish and Japanese descent. After all, Tamerlane and Mehmet II were Central Asian and Turkish respectively, and Japanese warriors are historically bad ass in nature.
this is a hippocrit ass post. u see a black and a white dude playing candyland, this is not a “white” gathering…it is a “hood” gathering, you see them drinkin milwaukees best 40 oz which prolly ran like 2.49 and they prolly have an incomplete set of cards to play spades, so candyland will do 4 the night
no he’s not black you dumbasses… unless by black you mean “not white”. Maybe that should be on the list of things white people like: Thinking everyone who is not white and is tan is black, and thinking “Asian” actually describes a nationality.
Childrens games are a fucking blast! I had a friend once who loved chutes and ladders. We played all the time but then he left for Vietnam :(. He went to Vietnam with little money and no job and has been blogging about his experiences there. His blog is hilarious and he just added a new post today. Check it out:
http://www.garbarrassing.com/Bill.php
You are hereby banned from posting on this blog. Any further activity from your IP address will result in a lawsuit. Thank you for your compliance.
Yoo!.. this is soo funny only because its true.. i just moved to Cambridge and every night there are like 4 teams of adult (or college age) whiteys playing kickball. kickball?!.. are they fooling themselves that this is fun?! sigh… thank you stuff white people like (the Filipino cat that is)..
For the same reason we learn about George Washington, Hitler, MLKing and other historical figures.. we need to know about the conditions and individuals that created this modern world we live in as well as all the steps it took to get here.. Lynching, racism, war, triumph and tragedy is an American and global story we should tell..not forget.. like the Jewish Holocaust – never forget.. like the African Maafa- Never forget.
Last time I played Dominoes was in the ghetto with a bunch of black people…other then that, I’m guilty as sin.
The phenomenon is even worse in white Mormon culture. I went to a friend’s 21st birthday recently, and instead of getting drunk and arrested, we had Little Caeser’s pizza, caffeine free Diet Coke and played Settlers of Katan.
Another friend invited my girlfriend and I over for dinner and we played Hungry Hungry Hippos after eating homemade pizza.
Actually it does sound attractive… playing hide & seek again… and sexing a chick you’d be coincidentally hiding with.
BAHAHAHAHA, oh man, that’s hysterical.
Hey! The game of life isn’t a childrens game.
The game of life jr. is!
This website is so damn funny. Accurate as hell too. I couldn’t help but notice #1. While I was drinking it. Great work.
Oh god, I just moved to Cambridge recently, and pretty much everything on this list applies to this town. Seriously, in spite of all the “diversity”, this is the freaking whitest town ever.
When I see this happening I find it to be one more childlike thing adopted by people who are deathly afraid of growing up. The longer they they can hold on to child-like things (games, Schoolhouse Rock performed live, t-shirts with cereal logs on them like King Vitaman, etc.), the longer they can try to stay away from the real world of bills and kids and mortages. Sarah Silverman is their patron saint, I believe…
Um alex, please check out the picture in this short article.
Ugh, this website is horrifying! I’ve never felt so pigeonholed ๐
I’m about to finish my Law degree (after my Arts degree in Italian literature) and I’m planning a trekking trip to Nepal (where I can be outdoors, wear my outdoor performance gear, drink water from a Sigg bottle AND be the first white person EVER to visit a third world country).
And I’m about to have a going away party with a board-game theme (while we listen to Vampire Weekend).
I think I am THE WHITEST PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!
I love the Game of Life. I get rich, get to step on people on my way to the top, poke fun at the poor minorities and democrats at the bottom, fart in a crowd and look around like “wtf mate?”, sit in 1st class and shoot condescending looks at all the coach passengers as they file past, cheat on my hot wife with my even hotter girlfriend, throw pennies as hard as I can at the beggars at intersections while I wait for the light to turn green, reincorporate my company in the Cayman Islands so I can avoid paying taxes AND get to deduct my vacation, and generally do all the cool things listed on this site. It rules to be me.
hahaha this is hilarious.My friend just graduated college in May ’08 and for her graduation lunch we went to the park.Once we were done eating we broke out with a game of kickball…damnnnnnnnn…so true.
Board games are only fun now if you can turn it into a drinking game. Because alcohol makes everything fun!
I love how the picture has them playing Candy Land….
http://andthisismyamerica.com/2008/10/31/the-manifestation-of-a-movement/
We used to play guns as kids. Cowboys, Army/War games.
We don’t play guns as adults anymore.
Why do black people play “guns” with real guns?
Hell, drive-by shooting, is a black thang.
(Yes, white Italian guys invented it , in the 20’s, 30’s, but they limited it to each other. How many kids & innocents have been killed by black/latino “gangstahs” in drive-by’s?)
I’m cool with a few childhood games as an adult: Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Duck Hunt, Frogger, – oh, you mean s**t I have to play with other people? ๐ BTW, kickball is EVIL, EVIL, EVIL! It should be as illegal as murder!
Die, you racist a*****e! Be prepared to be slaughtered with intelligent banter by SuperSister!
In Brooklyn dirty hipsters that took over williamsburg play kickball.
You CANNOT tell a persons race by just looking at them. You actually have to ASK the person what race they identify with. Same with a persons nationality. There are some bi-racial people who may be dark skinned but actually identify with the “white” part of themselves or vise versa.
That is gov’t center in boston.
and yeah, I did play a whiffle ball tourney there
CANDY LAND AND CLUE!!!
hahahah! yes.
whatev, that candyland playin’ dude looks pretty indian to me.
I agree. Candyland is the shit. And if you like Clue, you should check out the Clue movie! Yes, there is a Clue movie! It’s quite hilarious, but not as fun as the game.
Especially with churches. My dads church had youth activities, most of them were something along these lines.
Candy Land! … I really am a sucker for a good game of Candy Land: /
You forgot to mention the fact that white people also like T.V. or Movie drinking games. For example shows like Charmed or Beverly Hill 90210 or movies like Boondock Saints and James Bond work excellently for this.
They also go wild when you take the childrenโs game into the workplace and call it ‘ice breakers’ or ‘team building.โ
It really takes things to another level if you play the children’s game in a micro-brewery.
I just found the site today, have been in tears laughing at all the truth so far, but this post actually made me pump my arms laughing “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Haaaaaaa ha ha ha. I thought I was the only person on Earth who had Fireball Island!!!
I would rather knee myself in the back of the head than play children’s games…whether it be with children or co-workers.
i play Doctor with my neighbor’s wife
You clearly aren’t white then. Go back your ethnic conclave.
I think this goes along with #50 Irony… “Look! We’re adults! But we’re playing a kid’s game! Oh, the irony!!”
The Canadian winter has made my skin whiter than white, but unfortunately my attitude towards children’s games does not conform ๐ฆ
I love “Clue” the movie!!! My sister and I watched it all the time growing up. I can recite all of the lines!
Thank you for properly giving photo credit! It’s very much appreciated.
Zach Armstrong
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Your obsession with grammar apparently does not extend to spelling. If “would” were used only once, would it “tighten” the sentence’s meaning as opposed to “loosing”?
Right! And it’s even better, because “playing a drinking game” means that white people get to watch Charmed or Beverly Hills 90210 while maintaining the pretense that they do not actually *like* these shows but are merely taking part for the sake of irony and alcohol. Perfect!
OMG you gotta have Chutes & Ladders too!!
hshshshshshs what ev
A messy divorce after decades of troubled marriage isn’t something you forget about overnight or that you leave from unscathed.
The practice of slavery may be over but not it’s repercussions and effects on social consciousness are far from eradicated.
You best watch your mouth before I get all # 101 on you and bring out the power of my dissertation topic… hey, it’s gotta be good for something ; )
You are so white. You know who teaches “tiny human beings” about racism, the latent and explicit racists that color their world… that follow them around stores, that are quick to scold and not understand cultural differences, that underestimate their capabilities. As the social entities that we are, it is this group consciousness which carves out paths of behavior whose current is sometimes too strong to overcome.
Just because slavery is done doesn’t mean it’s perceptions are gone, and just because you don’t experience the racism birthed by slavery doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist and is a concoction.
Stop blamin’ the victim whitey and stop redirecting blame away its source… maybe if some white people wouldn’t have let other white people practice active slavery and then its de jure offshoot in the early twentieth century, all white people wouldn’t have to carry around the stigma of its practice.
I be goin’ 101 now… ; )
Besides, you’re not white… you’re French, Italian, Jewish, Russian, Eastern European (too many countries, names keep changing), English, Italian… so be proud of those, in my small town people are all proud of their Finish and Portuguese heritage and still speak the languages and have the traditions…
….black people have the “luxury” of being proud of their blackness because somewhere along the line SOMEONE of a certain pale complexion uprooted their ancestors and then stripped them of their culture, language, and heritage by despicably violent means in order to sell them like animals for profit.
Not only that, they were then systematically categorized by the criteria of their masters who used color as a based on color to delineate inferiority.
You may have lost your roots and accepted a generalized identity by choice, they did so by force. Reaffirming the identities they were given through such epithets as “black pride” is merely an attempt to reaffirm their humanity in the face of such cultural hardship.
It’s great that you’re proud of being white, but maybe if your white predecessors hadn’t burned crosses on lawns, used lynchings as social events, and terrorized a segment of humanity, then maybe YOU could enjoy the freedom of using the marker of “white pride” free from stigma. It’s not black people’s fault that you can’t employ it, dorky.
Sweetheart, it’s great that you you’re so conscious of your heritage unlike so many other white American, but the circumstances of you cultural inheritance are much different than those of African Americans who came to the Americas through slavery.
I doubt your ancestors were ever maimed, beaten, or tortured for speaking their native languages or practicing their customs. I doubt your family was ever forcibly stripped of their culture and integrated into artificial relationships of unequal labor that assigned new social relevance. How can they speak their tribal language when they no longer know their tribe?
Let me remind you too, that when your family came to this country, as Americans you inherited an American heritage that included the harsh reality of your white predecessors’ actions. Your family may not have had a part in the practice of slavery, but your present attitudes devaluating it’s significance continues to make you part of it effect.
i recently saw, on facebook, a puzzle party with alcohol in the mix. I would go, but It sounds pretty boring to me to drink and do a puzzle. the two dont seem to mix, like drinking and playing candyland or watching a movie. why do white people need to add something to their drinking experience. It is fun enough to get drunk, taste beers and watch people.
oh i get it… not to feel stupid or guilty about drinking! keep that pretty image alive and well in the eyes of those viewing. or maybe not.
ME: Ok, lets meet Thursday after work.
HER: Oh, sorry. Thursday is Kickball Leauge.
ME: Ha Ha! Seriously, will Thursday work for you?
HER: No, I AM serious. I have Kickball on on Thursdays.
ME: (THINKING: Are you 9 ??!!!) Oh, ok. how about Wednesday?
this is sooooo true!
during my college orientation we stayed over for 1 day, and the first thing we did was split into groups.
we started playing kid games and I was like “WTF”?
I’m a white person, and can honestly admit, I love playing children’s board games, especially Monopoly.
except that it’s not ironic.
You forgot dodge ball !!! unacceptable.
If you want fun, try drinking beer while playing Operation, the wacky doctors game.
actually, im pretty sure its just like off of half baked, where everything seems better when intoxicated, so they have to try everything when drunk, just to see if it really is more fun, or if its just harder.
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I donโt want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE, who only WASTE their money on things like stupid children’s games.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments โYou ARE a waste.โ is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
no, but seriously, candyland and drinking is a great combination. every color you land on is a different number of drinks! i think white people like it because we like competition…unless we’re the loser and no one loses in a drinking game
wow… this is really advanced whitery
you’re not cute. shut the fuck up
A child game adults (esp. couples) love to play: Doctor! Unless this is about board games or kintergarden games, it’s like baby-boomers never really grew up. The ones who did aren’t fun, as if children live better than adults (like not to worry about jobs, money or responsbility) … and being bossed around is a good thing (whatever). +
As I said before, adults play kiddie games in order to stay young (not working) or feel young. I thought a game like “Doctor” is age-appropriate for adult couples, like Dr. Bill wants to examine Ms. Sally for a mock mammogram. xD
We sure can have an ethnic classmate to play the doctor, but make sure the female patient who’s white is not afraid of a dark, tall or ethnic stranger male. Again, a terrible but common x-rated porn film idea: “Mexican doctor, American tourist”. +
…or a cigarette factory, let them watch a 1960’s era Black & White “Flintstones” commercial, brought to you by Philip Morris or R.J. Reynolds. Fred shares his with Wilma, kicks back with his friend Barney and Betty loves to puff it out.+
White people’s favorite board game is “Life”, because it is so unpredictable. 1980s TV commercial jingle parody: “You can be a loser in the game of real life”. I rather stick to a classic like “Monopoly”, which is the most whitiest of all fantasies. Only in America. +
Because white people are stupid. They have peter pan syndrome–never wanna grow up. Time to move in with das parents with the useless college diploma. aaaah, prestige.
So it’s the white men with the “minds of children”, unlike the stereotyped black man being called “boys” and Asian women portrayed as overgrown prepubescent girls.
Also how come alot of Hispanic children are placed in special ed. for the mentally “retarded”? We can argue who’s the smarter race until the cows come home, but we won’t find an answer. +
http://tratamientoparalashemorroides.blogspot.com/2009/08/busca-una-cura-para-las-hemorroides_17.html cura para las hemorroides blog
So itโs the white men with the โminds of childrenโ, unlike the stereotyped black man being called โboysโ and Asian women portrayed as overgrown prepubescent girls.
Also how come alot of Hispanic children are placed in special ed. for the mentally โretardedโ? We can argue whoโs the smarter race until the cows come home, but we wonโt find an answer. +
white people are stupid. They have peter pan syndromeโnever wanna grow up. Time to move in with das parents with the useless college diploma. aaaah, prestige
I always felt bad for the white kid that got picked last, sometimes after uniforms and equipment! Another popular game is Twister although my experience writing for http://StuffRichPeopleLove.com is that these are typically not for the wealthy. They prefer bridge and gin rummy…much more civilized!
Too True. We play drinking high ho cherry-o all the time. Super fun!
i like to drink cat urine!
Hello everybody, I am the asshole using enigmas name to type ignorant nonsense. I know I am a dumbass, but I can’t help myself. If you happen to see enigmas name talking garbage, just disregard it. I am a dumbass, needle dick bitch with no life using other peoples name in vain. I apologize to all.
sidewalk chalk. enough said.
I like playing with little boys…
I like to drink cat urine too!!
I like white men with big cocks in my ass, you know.
gooooooooooood
i am a loser with too many names and too much time. i think the reason why iโm skrewd up is cuz my dad rapes meโฆ Blak pwr
big dogs play in my ass, and i like it!
I have not played this game but this game does not sound nice and more of a violent game.
Thats right son!!!!!!!
I hate puzzles
gay.
“Children’s games played as adults” was already covered in the posts “Asian Girls” and “Japan.”
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hows that workin out for you? being clever? lol… movie reference haha
funny blog post! Recently I had a black friend express his chagrin when a white person asked him if all black people est fried chicken. I told him he needed a good comeback like, “Do all white people eat__________?” A black woman in the room called out ‘mayonaisse!’ I thought , “Why do black people think that white people eat mayonnaise?” But… I am white, and I eat mayonnaise. Someone I know posted this blog on FB, that’s how I came to it, in case you are wondering.
Apple to Apples anyone??
Yes I completely agree that chinldrens games and boardgames are the best past time!
And people, please!! This is all a joke!!
Just read, laugh and move on with your day!
“You don’t stop playing games because you grow old,
you grow old because you stop playing games.”
I heard that phrase (or something like it, my memory sucks) a few years ago and I can’t help but fully agree with it. If I ever tire of simple games like these my death will probably be shortly following. Except shoots and ladders. That game is horrible.
i agree…but shit, 1st amendment rights….
I’m white, 30 and childless…I can’t stand team games or playing sports but I love the childrens board game ‘guess who’…designed to be played by 7yr olds!
i don’t know anyone like this
I am like this
Love it!
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Gosh, i love this website. It is soooooooooooo spot on. Most of my white friends are just like this.
totally. I actually was introduced to a certain llate-20s white person who built a sock puppet theater in his living room.
Don’t know what to say about that.
peace love and understanding bro. You know we are all weird and fed up. just be cool, and help the next poor sucker on his one way trip. Listen http://slimspickin.blogspot.com/ and learn.
I’m in college, and my two fellow white friends I often call each other in the late evening on school nights for the studying diversion of playing the game Clue (always with wine), or the card game Uno (with vodka mixers).
Rebecca, They could make a ten page article about how ridiculous you sound and no its not because “you don’t understand where I’m coming from” another white person thing to say.
I think this one kills it. Well done. Ha!
Here’s another laugh: http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
Also you might add dodgeball and hackey-sack.
Hackey-sack is kind of like soccor only you don’t have to run. Also it’s noncompetetive, which is SO white.
I’m very white and I love children’s games! Anything from my childhood is still great. I love the 90s Disney movies, like Beauty and the Beast and the Lion King. And even though I was an adult when most of them came out, I love all Pixar movies. I love coloring books (with crayons, because markers and colored pencils are not the same). I love being asked “aren’t you too old for that” because when other people think I’m weird it makes me seem quirky. White people love to be quirky because it makes them seem more unique than other white people.
so true.
Adult party drinking games! Play “fart in a bottle” and see how the gas combusts inside the glass (Warning! What it is…is a dangerous game, don’t try this at home, kiddies).
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I hated 99% of those games as a kid and I can’t imagine enjoying them any more now. The occasional board-game doesn’t go amiss, but even then I tend to prefer the more complex and “adult” games as opposed to something like “Candyland”.
I think its silly to lump all white people together who you believe all enjoy all of these things you think we enjoy.
Ok, now that I have that off of my chest, I LOVE GAMES.
Board games, card games, outdoor games, computer games… nintendo Wii games… puzzles.
or beer pong! great game, great way to test your hand-eye coordination. and to bring out the drunkenness and competitiveness in people!
don’t tell me “non-white” people don’t like drinking games!
or that bags game. i’ve seen all kinds of people try that atrocity.
Mouse Trap is wanker-riffic
card games are my favorite past time when not surfing the net ::
damn this is so true. not just outside games, indoor games and video games as well.
LOL I saw this blog on http://www.DanielDickey.com (The MTV VJ) and must admit itโs just as funny!!!
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and donโt have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
meh
I also noticed here lately (as seen in this picture) lots of white people embracing malt liquor (40s). Maybe for the same reasons they like obscure hip hop……
Always wondered what was up with my white friends and kickball. I thought they were just weird…but now I find out I was just ignorant of a widespread phenomenon?! lol…Again, you’ve succeeded in culturally schooling me so that I can Succeed in Making More White Friends. w00t!
Awesome site…wish you were still keeping it going (in spite of all the offended wp who sadly don’t realize how much fun it can be to make fun of your own cultures)…so many more mystifying things I need somebody self-aware enough to explain to me!!
How beautifully accepting of the web site’s point. Thank you, personally, for not being ignorant and offended by this obviously satirical list, RG. Fantastic to see someone step back and say, “shit.. white people decoded.. why not?”
To further help, I swear to the authenticity of a lot of what is said here. I have no idea how, but this really paints a template that DOES somehow fit almost all white people’s thinking patterns. This shouldn’t be ridiculed, it should be studied as one of the most groundbreaking lists ever. It is so, so, so, so eerily true.
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I must be an atypical white guy – most of these don’t seem to apply to me. Though I am enjoying them immensely, and I do see them in others.
However, I will profess a liking for so-called kids’ games. I play role-playing games four nights a week, interspersed occasionally with card games such as Munchkin and board games such as Settlers of Catan and Risk.
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I have started a new Meetup
http://www.meetup.com/childlikeactivities
-for adults who like to play children’s games
Have you ever played “Red Rover?”
Briefly, the game goes like these.
Two teams stand across from one another-about 30 feet apart.
All players extend both their arms sideways. This means that if there are five on each team. Each team has 4 chains(Each chain consists of a pair of extended adjacent arms.
The players alternate between being Extenders and Cashers.
Team A, might say, Red R over, Red Rover send Judy over
Judy tries to crash through one of the chains of the opposite team.
If she succeeds, she takes a player from that team to her team.
NOTE: I know a woman of 48-who used to teach this game-when she was a playground leader(aged 18-22.
But she would NOT tech it now-because it is slightly rough.
she is afraid a parent would sue her, if a child gets
as much as a bruise.
In 1979(I was then 30) I taught children to play” Run, Sheep, Run!’
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White people are asshole!
Sorry your wrong, we do love games but its backgammon, spades, euchre, all kinds of rummy games, chess, rummikub,and lots of us play hnefatafl and farkle. Two of these games were played by our ancestors thousands of years ago.