Stuff White People Like Book Contest is now CLOSED

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Stuff White People Like Book Contest is now CLOSED

June 20, 2008 by clander

With over 675 entries, the contest has been a huge success.

Winners to be announced on Monday.

Thank you to everyone who entered.

Posted in Uncategorized | 103 Comments

103 Responses

on June 20, 2008 at 8:06 am emilia

first?
on June 20, 2008 at 8:14 am sweavo

and most pointless! have a medal!
on June 20, 2008 at 8:17 am Peter

Sweet. I hope a post on how white people love hiring Mexicans wins.

http://www.thechrisivesexperience.com
on June 20, 2008 at 8:42 am E

I enjoyed this blog some time ago, but every other post seems to be self-promotion instead of content. I wish you the best of luck, but I’m done.

Sincerely,
A former reader
on June 20, 2008 at 8:46 am emilia

i ❤ pointless medals!
on June 20, 2008 at 9:19 am cowtown

Awww man!! I was just cooking up another entry.
on June 20, 2008 at 9:31 am emilia

white people procrastinate
on June 20, 2008 at 9:36 am Larry

noo i had mine sitting on my computer since wednesday. i kept it up until the last minute because i wanted to edit it down to the wire
on June 20, 2008 at 9:52 am Madrugada Jones

I didn’t send in an entry. But if I did, it would’ve been about how white folks want to think they’re anything other than white, such as Lithuanian or Indian.

Check out my CARTOONS here: http://spinachflame.wordpress.com/
on June 20, 2008 at 9:57 am Merwinkle

I think that the George Michael concert last night in San Jose deserves some sort of honorable mention. Not only was everyone in the arena from San Francisco (and dancing like only white people can), but everyone was using their iPhones, for texting, surfing, photo-taking, AND holding them up lit and waving them, as a substitute for cigarette lighters.
on June 20, 2008 at 10:27 am JImz

Submitted mine on “Blogs”
on June 20, 2008 at 10:41 am TJ

I’m sure my Guitar Hero entry wont win but I had to give it a shot.
on June 20, 2008 at 11:16 am chris ives

A former reader just has nothing to promote!

Buy the Stuff Honkey’s Like book and read my website.

Then, drink Starbucks coffee.

And shop at the gap.

Sincerely,

Fuck you very much,

A current reader

PS Lick my balls!
on June 20, 2008 at 11:17 am chris ives

I don’t want to spend the effort of writing a bunch of words about it, but white people love Bob Marley. (except this white people, I hate him!)
on June 20, 2008 at 11:27 am eva

I entered with “white people love Cleanses” but also wanted to write about white people liking:

– cloth diapers
– mommy blogs
– natural wooden toys (no plastic fisher price or licensed characters)
– platinum/white gold wedding bands (for some reason White People find yellow gold tacky unless dressing for a ghetto-fabulous themed party)
– maui
– potato salad (and other unhealthy “comfort foods”)

Feel free to use any of the above for future posts!
on June 20, 2008 at 11:38 am Howie

Good choice. But how can that beat how much white people love the police?
on June 20, 2008 at 11:42 am Kristen

Think you guys have some competition. I’m not sure what was better, my entry on Trivia or Tiger Woods
on June 20, 2008 at 11:47 am Molly

Hi,

I am reading the Pandora Prescription by James Sheridan and I was curious if you have ever read it? Also, have you heard about this?

-Molly
on June 20, 2008 at 11:49 am rpost3

White people who like cops are the wrong types of white people. How the fuck, after all this time, do you still not get the point of Christian’s blog?

The kind of white people Christian makes fun of hate cops
on June 20, 2008 at 11:54 am Tony

White people, I’ve learned so much about you.
on June 20, 2008 at 11:56 am Laura

Oh man, I just came on to the site to submit my entry, but the contest is now closed! Is there somewhere we can post them regardless, I’d like to put it out there since I’ve worked on it all day (at work… see comment above about white people liking procrastination!).
on June 20, 2008 at 11:58 am offtheshelfsj

They say they hate them, but deep inside they have a need for law and order, no matter how much N.W.A. they listen to.
on June 20, 2008 at 11:58 am offtheshelfsj

Just in time!
on June 20, 2008 at 11:59 am Ryan

Sorry, but none of you beat my entry on white people who love to read books at the bar. Me and my buddies will be watching the Phillies, shooting pool, and drinking a Bud, and we’ll look over and see a piece of work w/ an ironic beard and ’60’s style thick-rimmed retro glasses drinking Chimay and reading some kind of wierd, useless English Lit. He thinks this impresses us b/c it’s much more intellectual than watching baseball and drinking domestic beer, but they don’t realize we learned to read when we were 5 years old.

Then he’ll go out and roll his own ciggarrettes. He does this b/c he’s is a huge tool.

Other things white people like: diagnosing all healthy-looking girls as anorexic, and assuming people w/ more money than them are corporate sell outs.
on June 20, 2008 at 11:59 am Carl Newman

“Winners?” I thought there was just one winner? Also, people who don’t like Bob Marley have no soul.
on June 20, 2008 at 12:02 pm Christine

There’s nothing My People like more than a solid Hig-Five. For instance, when playing rugby, there is no finer expression of a
job well done then a high five. Or, upon receiving your arts degree,
slapping the palm of the individuals with whom you met while traveling
abroad and spent the last four years chumming, slumming, sipping
coffee and listening to indie rock while wearing scarves at your
favourite breakfast place in a gentrified neighbourhood with is just
the celebratory measure to take before shedding the cap and gown and
downing a few microbrews and/or Pabst Blue Ribbons (2 more possible
topics) and one last vegan burrito before packing up the Prius and
heading to your parents summer home in Cape Cod.

With a simple slap of the hand, one can communicate a reciprocal love
of Stuff White People Like with their People. And what could be bad
about that? Absolutely nothing.
on June 20, 2008 at 12:02 pm rpost3

Marley was doing pot well into adulthood, which makes him an immature dirtbag. At least he’s dead. Heh.
on June 20, 2008 at 12:03 pm Christine

And by “hig-five”, I meant “High-Five” for all of you sticklers out there.
on June 20, 2008 at 12:44 pm Nick

White people like eating outdoors. White people fight over patio seats at restaurants. I don’t get it.
on June 20, 2008 at 12:55 pm tissue paper

White people lovvvvvvve to use themselves as the standard. And by “themselves” I don’t meant white people love to use *white people* as the standard. I mean white people love to use them*selves* as the standard.

“In kindergarten I grew a lima bean. You mean to tell me the people of Darfur can’t grow their own lima beans? What’s wrong with those poeple?”

“I learned sign language. My mom’s deaf. It makes no sense that those refs at the World Series don’t communicate in sign language for deaf viewers.”

But then let something happen to white people that they’re not ready for and all those standards fly out the window.

White people love their personal loopholes.
on June 20, 2008 at 1:09 pm Howie

Thank you

And I mentioned NWA in my entry
on June 20, 2008 at 1:12 pm sro

and by “then” you meant “than”.
on June 20, 2008 at 1:18 pm rpost3

LOL I ran over a waitress on a Philly sidewalk cafe. There were tables on both sides of the sidewalk, creating a narrow path for pedestrians to walk through, so even though I tried to slow down and avoid her, I still wrecked into her. She did a header right into a table and dropped the food she was carrying hahaha. It was fucking funny. I feel bad for the waitress b/c she just works there and doesn’t make the decision to crowd the sidewalks w/ tables, but still…

I don’t get what it is w/ white people and eating outside. People will eat outside here in on the dirty-ass Philly sidewalks w/ busses and SUV’s blowing exhaust in their faces, dogs shitting all over the sidewalk (although this is often blamed on white people, who, for some reason, have to take their dogs w/ them to these sidewalk cafes), bums harassing them for change, and dumpsters ruining the aroma of their meals.

It’s hillarious.
on June 20, 2008 at 1:38 pm cowtown

Crap…good one.
on June 20, 2008 at 2:07 pm another random person

White people love hating telemarketers
on June 20, 2008 at 3:03 pm badflags

I am a Lithuanian white person. In fact, Lithuanian is about as pifmentally white as you can get. Well, maybe Irish is.
on June 20, 2008 at 3:16 pm stud pounders

white people like thinking they’re hilarious, and never miss an opportunity to prove it, even on some meaningless message board.
on June 20, 2008 at 3:17 pm hrhkat

I will tell you why white people hate police. They hate them because when they moved into the “up and coming” neighborhood, they would often call the cops because they heard gunshots a floor below them, or they see a bunch of drug dealers on a corner, etc and the cops would never show up or at the very best would show up 3 hours late. Thats why white people hate cops, because unless someone is confirmed as dead, or with a bomb, they wont show up because they are lazy. White people hate, absolutely hate tardiness. Cops are tardy and retarded.
on June 20, 2008 at 3:22 pm hrhkat

white gold and platinum is such a good entry, i would have totally picked that. White people love white gold and platinum and they hate yellow gold! I just dont get it! White gold looks like silver, at least yellow gold is classic. What are all these white girls going to do when they inherit their moms gold jewelry? jesus people need to start wearing yellow gold again, i see it coming back into fashion so hopefully white people will get over the fascination of white gold that eventually rubs off to yellow gold.
on June 20, 2008 at 3:24 pm hrhkat

why people like others to see them eat at nice places with barely anything on their plate and expensive bottled water. Also so they can bring their dogs.
on June 20, 2008 at 3:26 pm hrhkat

im pretty sure everyone hates them….this is white people blog, not everyone blog
on June 20, 2008 at 3:27 pm hrhkat

White people like to substitute their cell phones for home phone lines. They will only use their cell phone and stop paying for a regular house phones.
on June 20, 2008 at 3:30 pm Becca

Dear Ryan,

You are obviously the “wrong kind of white person” so therefore this Chimay drinking Hipster has no want to impress you.

I’m also wondering if either you or the Chimay drinking hipster were very lost, because the “right kind of white people” don’t go to bars where other people drink mass marketed beer.

Sincerely,

Becca
on June 20, 2008 at 3:32 pm Becca

White people love marijuana. (post #33)
on June 20, 2008 at 4:33 pm reoweedwgn

let’s have a contest for this site;

http://stuffstonerslike.wordpress.com/

best reply can get a contact hi

…if they’re in my vicinity!
on June 20, 2008 at 5:30 pm mac daniels

all the white people i know like taking it from behind. so, that’s my entry: taking it from behind. ok bye now.

http://www.muskrat.wordpress.com
on June 20, 2008 at 7:26 pm Carl Newman

No, white people love that they’ve at least tried marijuana. There’s a nuance to it.
on June 20, 2008 at 7:28 pm Carl Newman

an important distinction. White people aren’t like everyone else, and they’re tired of being picked on for it.
on June 20, 2008 at 9:21 pm SAP

Gosh, I just read this whole list on my MacBook, with the episode selection menu for Arrested Development on my TV screen, my substitute-child-dog by my side. I have a degree in English Lit with a minor in French, and my husband has a degree in English Lit with a minor in Theatre. I lived in France for a year. We have a station wagon. I am in the process of researching graduate schools. I have a subscription to Adbusters and own a copy of No Logo. I laughed my ass off in The Darjeeling Limited and cried in Juno. Is my life really that much of a cliche? Did I mention my MacBook is sitting on my Ikea coffee table? ***sigh***
on June 20, 2008 at 10:09 pm God

My Entry was on how psychotically passionate white people are about disproving My Existence. Atheist whites who would rather believe in nothing than Me! But even worse than them are the ones who call themselves agnostics. COWARDS!

I can’t believe how much I have come to despise all those smug, self-righteous, too-cool-for-anything, indie-music-listening, starbucks-obsessed, 50’s-robot-camp-loving, lettuce-wrap-eating, potsmoking hippie-beatnick white people.

Thankyou Christian. You have crystallized My inner hatred for all the people who used to make Me feel so ‘uncool.’

http://stuffgodhates.wordpress.com/
on June 21, 2008 at 1:57 am Mek

The First and formost thing white people like is ,dentists.
on June 21, 2008 at 4:34 am The Necklace Lady

White people love that they never inhaled. Or that they did.
on June 21, 2008 at 4:37 am The Necklace Lady

But they’ll usually keep a landline for their fax machines.
on June 21, 2008 at 4:38 am The Necklace Lady

Specially to have their teeth whitened.
on June 21, 2008 at 5:14 am another random person

most agreed.
on June 21, 2008 at 6:38 am B

My post was on how white people like reading about themselves on this blog. i just didn’t know how you could argues with 31 mill hits.
on June 21, 2008 at 7:20 am Nick

Eating outdoors in a big city like that gives White People the opportunity to “people watch”, which usually means disdainfully evaluating TWKOWP who pass by.
on June 21, 2008 at 8:13 am PGZ

A great web site, slyly funny and remarkably candid about life in white America. But the name is all wrong. I’ve lived in various parts of the north-east and worked with all sorts of white people, across every income level, educational level, and occupation. This site is really about liberal, college educated whites, on the coast or in major cities. I realize this is a parody site, but the authors nail their demographic completely. So there needs to be a search for a better site name – “Stuff Self-Centered Progressive White People Like”. We can play with “self-centered”; “self- adsorbed”, “self-indulgent”, “ultimately hypocritical”. The real laugh is that these people who triumph diversity pretty much march in lock step with the approved patterns of social acceptance with their demographic. I’m sure “South Park” will mine this site for some rich material.
on June 21, 2008 at 11:19 am Catsandbeer.com

Christian – run with this – new element to the site: photo evidence of whiteness (or White Peopleness) – it can be a good old white off – white out
on June 21, 2008 at 11:31 am Dorothy

Outstanding Reply and Oh how so Very Very True!
on June 21, 2008 at 11:43 am Dorothy

How Hilarious is this Comment. You must be a “Whiter Shade of Pale”…..’Member the group “Cream”? How fitting is the Band Name Even! Arrested Development was one of the truly best “White People” loved show around…..now Larry David and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” turned that ALL around with having the displaced Black Family from Hurricane Katrina (Black People and their last name Black as well) move into his all White Neighborhood!
Leon a family member of The Blacks moved in as well and he was from LA…Side Hurting Laugh Out Loud Humor!!!
on June 21, 2008 at 12:46 pm rpost3

Thank you, Mr. Obvious.
on June 21, 2008 at 12:48 pm Hot Gym Girl

Love it!!

http://theFitnessDiva.blogspot.com
on June 21, 2008 at 1:08 pm jake

This site should be renamed “A White Person’s Guide to Portland Oregon”
on June 21, 2008 at 3:02 pm hrhkat

Is your name valerie?
on June 21, 2008 at 3:29 pm heather

white people love doctors and hospitals.
on June 21, 2008 at 7:29 pm Blotsfan

I hope I win. Oh and to PGZ, I think that you have mostly worked with the wrong kind of white people.
on June 21, 2008 at 11:48 pm I Like Stuff

I was going to submit but decided I’d just give you my ideas: white people like mindfulness and postmodernism. You’re welcome. (White people also like laziness disguised as generosity.)
on June 21, 2008 at 11:50 pm I Like Stuff

This is very true.
on June 22, 2008 at 4:09 am mimisasha

You are almost there BUT – I don’t think white people are especially into IKEA. Come on now.
on June 22, 2008 at 4:11 am mimisasha

White People Like:

Woody Allen
dumplings
Audis
on June 22, 2008 at 7:02 am Mary Jane

Hooray! Can’t wait to see the winning post. I submitted mine on International Adoption… huh.

Could we submit more than one entry? Wish I had…!
on June 22, 2008 at 8:38 am Chris

Interntational Adoption! That has got to be up there… Made me laugh..

Chris
on June 22, 2008 at 8:40 am JLo

White people like free stuff! Someone could be handing out free rubberbands on the street and white people would be grabbing them by the handfuls… And going back for more for their “kids”
on June 22, 2008 at 1:00 pm Nick

Thats more of a Wrong Kind of White People thing.
on June 22, 2008 at 1:22 pm SAP

I find your use of capitalization really interesting.
on June 22, 2008 at 4:01 pm Anita

Hoodies
on June 22, 2008 at 9:01 pm Daniel Newsome

Stainless Steel Appliances!!
Crocs
Remodeling
Acoustic Guitar
Talking about youtube
Quoting movies!
Saying “Awesome”
Drama
Air Quotes
Dropping 90’s ganster lingo “dope” “fresh” “too hype”
Lesbian porn
Coffee Shops
Designer eyeglasses
Color coordinated rooms
Playing retro video games like tetris and pac-man
Craigslist missed connections
Impressionist artwork
Books and comedy wherein people bitch about their parents (ie David Sedaris)
Telling racist jokes then claiming not to be racist
on June 22, 2008 at 9:08 pm djkimcheelove

i also submitted one on international adoption. so it must be true 🙂
on June 23, 2008 at 12:25 am jocelyn

getting rid of stuff.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1812048,00.html
on June 23, 2008 at 3:05 am Tal

Can’t find the humor in any of this, and some of the comments are even more ignorant than the posts.
on June 23, 2008 at 4:46 am Blotsfan

Then leave.
on June 23, 2008 at 5:05 am emilia

i think howie’s referring to the band “police”. what white person doesn’t like sting?
on June 23, 2008 at 5:19 am LivitLuvit

Guitar Hero is such a good call! You’d probably have to throw DDR in as well…

livitluvit.blogspot.com
on June 23, 2008 at 6:10 am stuffgirlslike

Stuffgirlslike will be opening for reader submissions very soon. I Would like to see some of your entries.

http://stuffgirlslike.wordpress.com
on June 23, 2008 at 6:28 am mlzer

this is the stupidest thing i have ever heard. i am pretty certain you ask someone other than a white person if they like doctors and hospitals, they would probably say yes.
on June 23, 2008 at 7:19 am mike

White people love to jump the shark.
on June 23, 2008 at 7:45 am rickelle

White people DO love grammar…especially correcting it.
on June 23, 2008 at 12:49 pm jocelyn

in addition to agonizing over their clutter:

George Carlin Talks About Stuff

Don’t forget how much white people love dissecting advertising: what is this ad’s Demographics? Are they still trying to generate Brand Awareness? Google Ad Report Card Slate. Because nothing reassures you that you are above the reach of advertising like taking it apart in an Intellectual Exercise.

White people also like capitalizing Things in the style of Winnie The Pooh.
on June 23, 2008 at 5:33 pm dee bag

Your next entry should be (#104)

Stuff White People Like: Being Financially Independent, Community Oriented, Socially Conscious, Law Abiding, Well Mannered, and Not Being a Burden on Society. In others, generally things needed to have a productive society.

Unlike most minorities.

Censor me and I will become offended! On behalf of a minority, of course.

This post was spelled checked and has proper grammar. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, whitey.
on June 24, 2008 at 7:17 am heather

no one other than a white person would go to doctor or ER for a slight scratching sensation they are not familiar with, or for a slightly elevated temperature.
on June 24, 2008 at 7:18 am tony

nothing like a good pen to get this white person excited.
on June 25, 2008 at 7:45 am Willi

Dang it! My “Role Playing Games” didn’t win? It was genius I tell you. Genius! But these are funny too.
on June 25, 2008 at 7:47 am Willi

Dang it! My “Role Playing Games” didn’t win? It was genius I tell you. Genius! But these are funny too.
on July 3, 2008 at 7:32 am Bud

i guess missed the contest… ‘ being treated for depression ‘, ‘cooking tv shows’ or ‘ gmail accounts ‘ would be my entries…
on July 18, 2008 at 8:29 am Matt

It seems pretty white for someone to create a site about what white people like. Uber-white, in fact.
on July 28, 2008 at 4:15 pm Quacker

Things I’ve noticed that White People like:

1. being “spiritual but not religious”

2. having token ethnic friends at their parties

3. self-help books

4. being self-righteous about recycling, whilst at the same time consuming enormous quanitites of packaged products.
on October 1, 2008 at 9:08 pm Andrew Long

This is easy; white people love Saved By the Bell!!!
on October 1, 2008 at 9:18 pm Andrew

White People Love:

Kittens
Bed Bath & Beyond
The Olympics
Costco
Taking pictures
Jagermeister
Email forwards
Alf
on October 29, 2008 at 11:56 am carrotsofyore

I saw this exact thing at a Journey Concert, something else white people love.
on October 29, 2008 at 10:54 pm s77nu

60 Minutes
Jack Johnson
Dave Matthews
on September 13, 2009 at 3:36 pm شلة بنات

goooooooooooooood
on January 7, 2015 at 8:03 am Megawhite illegal teeth whitening

What about slavery, hatred and war?