When it comes to holidays, there are few that white people like more than Halloween. This is in spite of the fact that white people are required to spend almost the entire year preparing for it. But unlike Thanksgiving or Christmas, the preparation requires little emotional labor. Though it does require extensive physical and mental labor along with a fair amount of research thrown in for good measure.
Halloween is so important to white people because they have to wear a costume. It is a chance to literally show everyone how clever you are without having to say a word. This makes it especially important to single white people as one well thought out costume could produce enough romantic interest to last through the winter.
For this reason any white Halloween Party is less of a celebration than it is a contest. And as with any contest, there are a lot of rules.
The first thing you need to know that white people are the only people on the planet who will dress up as a concept. So while your initial thoughts about a costume might be “cowboy,” “policeman,” or “Count Dracula,” white people are more likely to think “math,” “the economy,” or “Post-Modernism.”
Dressing up as a concept is always a major gamble. On one hand, there is the chance that you nail it just right and everyone in the room will recognize how you not only cleverly interpreted the idea but also executed it perfectly in physical form. If you get it wrong, you will be required to spend the entire night explaining yourself. Then again, it is a good way to get white people to talk to you.
Things do not get any easier if you try to dress up like a character from a movie. If you show up dressed as Austin Powers or Napoleon Dynamite you will be met with near-universal scorn. You see, you need to find a character from a movie that enough people recognize but not one that’s so well known that makes it easy to find the materials required to create the costume.
That being said it’s a good idea to draw inspiration from older movies or television shows, specifically ones from the 1980s. Some popular examples are: Pee Wee Herman, the skeleton costumes from Cobra Kai, or Marty McFly. Depending on your race and gender, this could be your opportunity to become the alpha dog among your white friends.
You see, the only thing white people like more than costumes are group costumes. So if you are an asian male of any background, suggest to your white male friends that you all dress up as The Goonies. If you are a black female, offer to play the role of TOOTIE and go as the Facts of Life. Being a black male is considerably tougher, but if you are short enough the role of Webster could be right for you in an ensemble cast. Sadly, if you do not fall into one of these categories your opportunity for a group costume is limited since there are no recorded instances of white people befriending asian women, latinos, Indians, or any other race during the 1980s.
Last, but certainly not least are white people who dress up as characters from books that have not been made into movies.
“I’m Esther Greenwood.”
“Who’s that?”
“Um, from The Bell Jar, hello?”
“I’m sad too.”
These people are unlikely to be recognized as their characters, but are highly recognized as being smart. If you cannot pull off a group costume, this is your best bet. Just pick ANY author who shares your heritage, find a character who matches your age and sex and remember their name. Then show up in regular clothes.
This also allows you to make the awesome joke “Oh, you can’t tell? I’m dressed up as a Sri Lankan woman. It’s me, Matt.” (substitute race/sex as appropriate). White people will find this hilarious, unless there is another non-white person at the part making the same jokes.
You should also be prepared for the inevitability of running into a white person in an offensive costume. It is a certainty that any Halloween party will have at least one white guy dressed up as a recently (and preferably tragically) deceased or wounded celebrity. Past examples include Steve Irwin costumes with a sting ray protruding from the chest, Roy (of Sigfried and Roy) with a stuffed tiger attached to the neck, and this year you are likely to see at least one white person dressed up as Heath Ledger.
With this information, you should have no problem fitting right in at a white halloween party. But don’t try too hard at your costume, white people hate being upstaged.
Stuff White People Like 
Genius! White people also like vocabulary and hilarious cartoons! http://www.wordgnome.com/2008/03/basorexia.html
Some pundits predict the outcome of the Election by which Presidential mask White People choose on Halloween…
But the Top 50 Swing Voters will ultimately decide YOUR next President on November 4th:
#50 – Hockey Moms – Demographic Power Play
#47 – People with STDs – Burning For Change
#39 – Your Jewish Grandparents
#27 – Joe The Plumber – Presidential Crack
#7 – Celebutante Bloggers – NSF Democracy
http://swingvoters.wordpress.com
dressing up as tina fey impersonating sarah palin will be a big white theme this year.
My holloween costume is the cheapest thing that fit me at Hot Topic…and this post is making me wonder if I should rethink attending this year’s major class holloween bash at the Hard Rock
my kid is dressing up as Buckethead for Halloween….our local KFC was kind enough to donate the bucket
Last year my white girlfriend wore red horns, a very nice dress, and the letters P-R-A-D-A above her breasts. I couldn’t for the life of me guess what her costume was. Finally, she said, “The Devil Wears Prada!” She was disappoint that I wasn’t amazed by her concept.
Guess that makes me super-white. My office dressed up as characters from “Shaun of the Dead” last year, and I’m dressing up as a Ghostbuster this year. Doh!
Know what white people hate? Puns! http://www.pungents.com
WHITE PEOPLE!!!!
I am the first!!! Amazing. But seriously, this is actually true. As a matter f fact, i am dressing up as the economy… and i am very white…
A non-friend of mine once dressed up as a Jason Pollock painting…so pretentious
Not all that funny this time. Free idea: White people like knitting.
this is a perfect post. I’m doing offensive…I’m dressing up as a Muslim!
oh man, i am TOTALLY going to dress up as a bottle of Newman’s own to commerate Paul Newman’s death!
i think i might have to dress up as ‘stuff white people like’ for halloween insofar as i can bring along my apple products, sweaters, barack obama button, and poor sense of irony.
Day of the Death. White people looove it.
hahaha, heath ledger – tonight on the office Dwight came in with that costume on in the beginning and people thought it was Creed. so funny.
and we love carving pumpkins too!
http://polarbearswimming.blogspot.com
Theres gonna have to be some Palins, Sarah (R)
i see i should have read all the comments before i did tip tap mine
THE SHARK HAS BEEN JUMPED!
EVERYONE LIKES HALLOWEEN!!!
So it’s a bad idea to come dressed a Heath Ledger?
Hmmm….I befriended primarly Asian women in the early to mid-80s. Does that make me a documented case…or just mean that the white male fetish for Asian women was simply showing its latent self?
You forgot to put a ‘y’ at the end of party.
The Bell Jar.
LOL
I’m not sad anymore.
Ohh…. and you forgot about how the white people shun those who dress as slutty sailors, fireman, army men, cowgirl, and others. Unless it’s a clever take on the whole slutty tradition to dress as a slutty plummer, Shepard, Jesus, God, horse, or cadaver.
I would love to see some dressed as slutty God on Halloween!
I went to a party last week dressed as Joe Sixpack complete with McCain/Palin 08 pins. White people love dressing as the wrong type of white people.
It is a certainty that any Halloween party will have at least one white guy dressed up as a recently (and preferably tragically) deceased or wounded celebrity……
lol
I think that was a reference to sitcoms in the 80’s.
so true. I know like 20 people who are planning to be Palin.
That was an awesome costume! 😀
Haha this is awesome! At the party I was just at there was a Marty McFly AND two Heath Ledgers (Brokeback and Batman) 🙂
I was once invited to a Surrealist costume party. There were a lot of lampshades and lobsters on heads.
sadly i went as “one fit in the grave” one year. this is so sad and yet very funny.
One foot in the grave!
Jackson Pollock …
… carry on.
Slutty nun is good.
Woops … this was directed at rvf.
WTF?
WordPress comments is playing with my mind … is paranoia a particularly white trait?
I once went as Sleeper.
Only a select few knew who I was.
Best Haloween ever.
Siegfrieg.
Spell it right, please.
Dear Santa, please let those people in the photo be pranked by a black person who pretends to think they are wearing Blackface to Halloween and get really offended, thus ruining their entire night (and possibly, lives).
yes. violence is hilarious.
Speaking of jumping the shark, anybody going as the Fonz?
For Asian women: Charlie’s Angels.
Asian male: Judge Lance Ito.
Yes. Lucy Liu will be hot this year.
Jesus. Really?
Oops.
I meant Siegfried.
But Christian said “Sigfried”.
That’s offensive to a German like me!
Yep – Me and 3 friends are the cast of ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force.’
Cliche.
*3 Friends and I.
Sorry for the poor grammar.
“i’m sad, too.”
That bit about The Bell Jar made me laugh so hard i almost cried. ARE IN YOU MY HEAD???
HAHA – this is the next blog in my RSS Feed, and it amuses me how it relates to this post:
http://urbanprankster.com/2008/10/sarah-palin-mob-in-nyc-tonight/
One of my white friends will be a shot up Indian girl this year. She’s obsessed with Halloween.
How about Hiro, the time-travelling katana weilder from Heroes? 🙂
HAHA!!! I’m going as Heath ledger. And I thought i was the “wrong” kind of white person.
All or most of these concepts flew through my head in a conversation I had the other night when I finally just said “Fuck It. Mad Scientist.”
I’ll be keeping a score card for when I go out tonight and I’m willing to bet my friend’s Wilco CD collection that the top 3 will be 1) Sarah Palin 2) Heath Leger and 3) Joe The Plumber/Joe Sixpack etc. etc. etc.
I’m going as a butcher to a party being thrown by a vegetarian group I belong to.
You totally forgot to include the fact that it’s the only day white women can dress totally slutty and it’s accepted. Any other day of the year white people look down upon those dressed in skimpy clothes but for some reason when the 31st of October rolls around the rules all change. I have always found this to be quite an interesting phenomeon.
Creed, Dwight and Kevin all dressed up as the Joker. That was why it was so funny because they all thought they were being original! Creed’s was the best!
i like you bryan.
I suppose you feel you’re very clever.
Exactly. It’s an amazing to see how many women who would never set foot in a Hooters aspire to dress like their waitresses!
Yes, you should.
Eh, as long as she’s a nice piece of ass, it doesn’t really matter.
He was also a horrible drunk and lousy painter.
I am reading this while wearing a spot-on Marty McFly costume at work. No shit.
If you’re a latino male, you can go as the cast of Saved by the Bell.
We’ve all forgotten the obligatory “Pimp n’ Ho'” party being held tonight in multiple locations at a college campus near you. When I was in college my friends used to be so excited about these parties. But I would ask them, “Aren’t our chances of getting laid still as low as any other night? The only difference between tonight and any other night is that there are girls dressed as ho’s who will not have sex with us as opposed to girls dressed in tank tops, jeans, and heels who will not have sex with us.” All I would get in response were blank stares.
Love this post! You were right on as Heath Ledger’s Joker was portrayed by three different white mlae characters on “The Office” last night!
Oh crap I actually did the Steve Irwin/Stingray the same year he died, so Halloween was very soon after his tragic death
I won “most tasteless costume” but my hostess was appalled and is still traumatized to this day. Thankfully her invitations didn’t dry up!
I’m going as an English schoolboy… must be a shorts thing
I think if you go as a duo, it should be salt & pepper or peanut butter & jelly. Both cute ideas. I was thinking about going as condoleeza rice. I’d have to chop my hair, mess it up, throw on some orange lipstick and a boring suit…….and WAHLAH! 🙂
i’m totally going as a golden girl. doesn’t matter which one…is that a typical white person costume? fits the ’80s theme…
Called it! I’m going as Existential Angst this year. Previously I went as Coleridge’s Ancient Mariner. I did go as a Ghostbuster once, but that actually WAS back in the 80’s.
omg I just got owned as being totally white. i’m going out as holden caulfield
You should go one step further. A muslim Obama is surely to offend a greater amount of people. If you have a girl, put her in a traditional muslim outfit and label her Michelle…
I’ve thought this all out, just way to cheap to go and buy the materials.
EEEEEEHHHH! (maybe)
Yes. This is, in fact, one of the only things good about Halloween. I think, even more to the point, this is the only time of the year that the Right Kind of White Girl can dress whorish.Thank you, Halloween.
I think my personal favorite, BTW, is the slutty nurse.
\had to wikipedia Bell Jar…
Who is that?
I guess my ‘Carl Spackler from Caddyshack’ costume has prime ‘Alpha Dog’ potential then…
A costume is a change to be someone else – that’s so great 🙂
Two years ago dressed as Kim Jung Il. It was racially and politically offensive, but spot on. I wore a khaki jumpsuit and huge sunglasses. My wife did a great job with my hair.
So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager
Some friends of mine and I are going as Mormon mothers.. a la this link.
LOL!
This is probably why some cities ban “the big kids” from trick or treating.
How does one go to a Halloween party and wear a provocative costume, but not be offensive? It is not possible unless everyone who might BE offended is excluded, and that any kind of camera is strictly forbidden. If those conditions are not set, the following rules are in effect: 1) White people can change their gender or species, but not their race. 2) No Nazi stuff. Period. 3) You can be a religious anything, as long as it is Christian. 4) You can be someone like Robert E. Lee or Cecil Rhodes, as long as no one realizes who you are. 5) Anything sexual goes as long as it dosen’t make gay people look like degenerates. 6) People with disabilities, particularly the retarded (like they would care!), are not fair game. Happy Harvest Festival!
OK, as at least one person rightly pointed out, I misinterpreted the “no documented cases of white people befriending Asian women (and some other folks)” in the 80s.
But even within that context, there’s at least one blip on that in the early ’80s…M*A*S*H
They had the one token overwieght Asian nurse…and the occasional pregnant Korean that needed her baby saved by Hawkeye or something…
White people LOVE Cool New Stuff: http://coolnewstuffreview.wordpress.com/
… See what everyone’s talking about
There is one instance of a white person befriending a latino person in the 1980’s on TV: CHiPs!
True, it did start in the 70’s, but the show ran until 1983.
Plus, I don’t know if two dudes dressed as motorcycle cops from the 80’s counts as a “group costume”.
Yes. Are you new to this country?
Oh yeah. That was the nurse that never got laid by Hawkeye, right? Or anyone else, for that matter.
The very first white person.
“Oh, you can’t tell? I’m dressed up as a Sri Lankan woman. It’s me, Matt.” I now have a costume!
wow …
Jackson Pollock…
The Village People!
Anyone who goes out as Heath Ledger is a complete tool.
hahahahahahahahaha woah is it taboo to have to engage in conversation about a costume…that is the beauty of disguise…the mystery of figuring out the puzzle. I of course can see how this would be a downer for people who don’t like to exercise their mind and are insecure about their lack of intelligence or creativity. I like puzzling so concept costumes are appealing to my sense of curiosity. That doesnt make me white that makes me smart. In the same vein, I’m not smart because I’m white, I’m smart because I enjoy learning. One more thing, there’s nothing like something offensive to trigger rapid thinking processes in your brain, it connects people by getting them to talk ok maybe i should say talk aggressively instead of just glare at each other. That’s progress. Oh did I mention I’m white, just wanted to mention that since it doesn’t matter. Remember racists need to think human, and press redial. So I dressed all in green today, who can guess what I was? A tree. See that wasn’t so hard. People who dress slutty and say they are the right kind of white girl is amiss, costumes are about acting out, maybe you are slutty but not everyone knows it.
Wow, this website is still around? I thought after the great internet meme crash in the middle of the year when everyone “discovered” the site it would slide back into the muddy waters of faux humour and misguided ideas of what constitutes irony from whence it came.
Still, I give the guys two thumbs up for milking it for a few bucks along the way and good luck to ’em!
+1
hmmm…that’s pretty good actually…
shameless
Has the Ghost of Hallowe’ens Past been yet? 😦
There was a guy who had “US Economy” over his shirt and had a toilet costumed around him at my university today 😀
Do all the people going as the Joker count as dressing as Heath Ledger? In that case there will be tons.
The Goonies! I LOL!
Spot on.
TWKOGT
Very over rated painter….his paintings look like crappy home made 80s wallpaper, even though he was before 80s wallpaper, but because people thought they could do it, they did, which killed the reality of what a crappy painter he was…he was just unique, but now hes just a crappy painter…
I went as a Jeff Koons sculpture…I was Micheal Jackson with Bubbles, and I was completely white, with a white wig, and a fake white monkey, and Everything was outlined in gold paint, gold pants and gold gloves. It was perfect….I clearly won the contest (luckily everyone at the party had an Arts degree, and everyone knew what I was).
I thought about going as the Hanging Heart sculpture, or the Balloon Dog, but they both seemed to difficult.
the whitest people love Harmon Leon….
Major US media are hiding their stories about the secret tapes of Michelle Obama. API and FOX News have copies now after many people were killed who helped transfer those secret tapes to decent Americans. These patriots risked their lives to bring the tapes to the American media. People were murdered, many injured only to prevent the tapes from being released to the public.
I saw those tapes. Michelle Obama is seen on those tapes. She is seen with top terrorists, kissing them and even doing more, if you know what I mean.
Believe it or not, she is also seen with Osama bin Laden!
I was able to obtain a fraction of that tape and I am publishing it here for you, my fellow American voters. Look it up here.
I demand that these tapes are released now by FOX News which always claimed to be my friends.
you should be sectioned.
I dressed up as the St. Pauli’s Girl which was very successful, except for one guy from Austria who could not wrap his head around the fact that I am actually from Boston and not Germany.
At a party last night, I met a fellow who dressed as Steve Zissou. Too bad he was at the wrong kind of party, as many people did not understand his costume.
Remember when Cartman went to a party as Hitler?? That would be my dream costume! 2nd choice,groucho marx.j
what I don’t get about this halloween is why should we do party during halloween? I thought halloween is all about trick and treat or scary stuffs:(.
I dressed up as Jesus. I’ve never been more popular with black people!
A big fucking booooo.
In regards to the concept costume, my all-time favorite was “The Miracle of Childbirth”. It was a guy with a pink inner-tube around him, covered in what looked to be after-birth.
Only a white person would do that.
White people like to hate George Bush. Help Bush move his shit out of the White House: http://www.HelpBushMove.com
I am very thankful for every recommendation how I can beat That One and become president in 3 days.
Pendal Haight. You sound like a real nice guy. can we meet somewhere?
Yours, Granny.
SPOTTED: 3 heath ledgers, one KKK member, one swing state, one partly cloudy with chance of showers, and a gay dinosaur (who looked like a unicorn, hence, had to explain himself all nite)….we saw the tragic dead celebrity, the offensive, the conceptual, and the poorly executed–stuffwhitepeoplelike, you are SO RIGHT!
I wish my site can host Halloween contests…
no, but you are right and there were a ton of jokers (both normal style and tranny nurse) out last night
to hit the offensive ledger costume, it would have to be a normal heath ledger with disheveled hair, pale skin, and pills taped to his face – white people could heighten the concept by going as a duo with a girl dressing as a coked up and traumatized mary kate (or whichever olsen partied with him)
and you tell this as a comment for Stuff white people like?………your credibility is gone just by posting..
This year I went as Mozilla Firefox. Conceptual geekery at its finest, and all I needed were a pair of ears, a fox tail, and some fire-patterned knee socks!
Hey, I’m jealous of your book deal! But I do love your site, you do make me laugh when I visit from time to time. I didn’t dress up as a book character, but I did dress up as Miss Diagnosed. (It’s an inside joke)
My fiance and I went as Apple Store employees- I was a genius and he was a specialist. I made shirts and we acted like total tools. At the party we went to, we saw a Lego Man, Indiana Jones complete with Arab man to shoot, and my favorite: a Subprime Mortgage.
Dear Santa,
Please give DJ Douche- oh how appropriate a name a sense of humor and the realization that the people in the photo are dressed as the ITunes cards.
I actually went as the dead 90’s… I wore the red flannel, corduroy floods, boots, and a hat with the brim flipped up. People could tell right away. Damn it, you’re right again.
I have a dirty dog with missing teeth. He was a
CRYSTAL-METH-LAB-rador-retriever. Ba-Da-Bing!
In West Hollywood I saw a werewolf with a waxed back
and Daisy Dukes. Day-am!!! White People =)
I wish CNN only read comments from “white” people on air.
http://notimeforclocks.wordpress.com/2008/11/02/15/
That would get rid of the myspace rants as well
Never knew whites were such losers. Truly a weak race of people.
Chip you are one little punk ass bitch of a white boy, carry on fag.
Please pass the hummus!
Don’t forget, this is another way for us to show our heightened ability to find things at the Goodwill and similar stores. Several times this Halloween, I heard this monologue (mostly when someone was dressed as a very recognizeable character, like Laura Croft and Yuffie):
Character: Well, I saw the costumes they sell on-line, but they weren’t right, so I spent ALL year looking for my outfit. Look, they sold these gloves online for $40, but I found them at the Goodwill just yesterday! $4!
The best part of the costume is ALWAYS found at a Goodwill or similar store, and is ALWAYS found within a week of the party. Which makes you wonder what they would have done if the fortuitous item had not appeared.
Of course, based on the fact that most of the women at the parties I went to were dressed as Laura Croft, Yuffie, a hot nurse, or other similar sexy characters (as opposed to something like Hester Prynne or Hellen Keller), perhaps I was at a party with the wrong kind of white people.
No one mentioned white people dressing up their pets? And cars? I saw a VW Bug “dressed” as a Jack-‘0-lantern!
This description distinctively reminded me of the costume party put on during Senior Week when I was at college. I think the white/non-white ratio at the school was about 99.9 to 0.1 percent, so you can imagine how many “concepts” there were to sift through.
I truly find your comment extremely DRY!!!
Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a college student, or maybe I’m hanging around the wrong class of white people…but I’d like to add that you seem to only be talking about white men. The white women costume formula is simple “slutty _____”.
Also very popular are spins on easily recognizable figures:
Bum- but go to a specific region or country (i.e. Canada, wear long underwear, write “eh” on your cardboard sign, panhandle with a tim hortons cup instead of a can of baked beans, wear hiking boots)
Cowboy- go modern, Cowboys are no longer synonymous with leather, while the hat is crucial, put on a dickies jacket, some jeans, and any comfortabl walking shoes (if you don’t believe, watch City Slickers, but don’t focus on Curly…which is also very classy and gives you an excuse to intimidate your friends because as we all know, “Day ain’t over yet”)
There are many more, but I just wanted to get your imagination flowing
Check out Mickey Kaus at Slate.com.
http://www.johnsrevenge.com/?id=76faa85b2cb3c470d4ca81e4e88e9114
Mickey Kaus dressed up as the Bradley Effect.
perhaps it’s because i am in new york, but i definitely have seen my share of male slutty costumes. not that i’m complaining!
Hey I’m sure you could come up with a “stuff Arab/Muslim people like” which would be just as entertaining. Here I’ll get you started:
#1 – Hating Jews
#2 – Mistreating women
Go forth and create. Douche.
You missed:
#3 – Stoning the Victims
#4 – Hating Every Other Religion
#5 – Being Oppressive
There was a Steve Zissou at the party I went to as well. I was one of the people who didnt understand the costume 😦
My past three years.
The Dude
Jesus
The Feminist Unabomber.
Next year? A white guy drunk and bearded trying to get into the Apollo Theater.
Last year I decided to go as the Joker, because I knew EVERYONE would be doing it this year. That was definitely the costume to not dress in this year.
This year, I decided to go as Gene Simmons from the album cover of KISS’s “Dressed To Kill.” I have pictures of both on my stupid link.
I know the “right” kind of white people aren’t supposed to like KISS, but screw it. I’d rather be the wrong type.
I just go out dressed normally. I call it my “incredibly handsome man” costume.
‘Then again, it is a good way to get white people to talk to you.’
Is this the reason for going through all the trouble?
Funny halloween costume
Such a cool halloween outfits
your halloween article rocks.
Thanks for the writeout.
Very funny, true and funny. Being an Asian male I was approached to be Short-Round this year, going around all night long looking for “Daa-ta Jones.”
Interestingly enough I have also found that there exist large numbers of white people both male and female that like to use Halloween as an excuse to cross-dress, perhaps it’s regional (Midwest USA) but I do see a lot of male nuns (not playing characters from “Nuns on the Run”) and females who dress up as male characters, most commonly Ninja Turtles or other entities having multiple members.
Oh I forgot to add: Come on white people! I am surprised that no one has commented on what was going to be my pitch this year if I were white. The guys from the Alltel commercials. The quintessential white guy “Chad,” and your portly friend with a white-fro wig going around all night yelling “You’re still a ding-dong!” till everyone’s sick of him!
In Brazil we keep discussing how bad it is that Americans have influenced us to celebrate Halloween, a custom that had nothing to do with us till some years ago…
If you want to read about stuff a white Brazilian woman likes, it’s here: http://www.escrevalolaescreva.blogspot.com
StuffWhitePeopleHate #1
Shameless plugs, in the comments section of stuffwhitepeoplelike, for others people’s blogs in an attempt to increase their pageviews.
accepted? i still look down on you. You still look trashy.
My friend Marc had a Hallowe’en party Friday. I couldn’t go which I wasn’t sad about because it was fancy dress. He went as Heath Ledger’s Joker. Looked pretty good, mind.
For the black guy with white friends, you can go as the cast of Walker, Texas Ranger with the token black guy being Trivette, Chuck Norris’ sidekick!
Must be New York. I have yet to go to a Halloween party that featured guys in slutty wear.
Very nice. I know a couple who went this year as Joe Six-Pack and Hockey Mom. And yes, of course they were white.
Yeah, we did the Steve Irwin bit in 2004.
I have pictures at http://www.dailymuskrat.com
It’s not appropriate for adults to go trick-or-treating at Halloween, so white people extend their childhood as much as possible by having parties such as those described here.
Shut up fatty.
Not white enough, JF. Either that or not female.
Yes. Exactly.
I also think that you may be fat.
I think I saw 3 Sarah Palin impersonations this year.
“Being a black male is considerably tougher, …”
Go as the Ghostbusters. I did with my roommates, in the 80s…
there is no critical vantage clander. meta-white is just a mystical hermeneutic white–admirable that you go the full circle, but you always wind up back in the same place. like most youth cultural offerings, your blog is lightly entertaining, but we’d all be better off if it stopped existing.
you can write your own ticket at Vanity Fair or Rolling Stone if you wanted.
time to move on.
hugs and kisses,
guy who detests yuppie legitimation machines and confession booths.
Also:
#6 – Caves
#7 – Yelling during normal conversation
#8 – Getting worked up (ties into #7)
#9 – Deserts
#10 – Doing mean stuff in the name of Allah
No. Who the fuck wants to be a banquet manager?
Existential Angst???? I bet you get beat up.
white people love Ryan McGinley:
http://journalofthieves.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/ryan-mcginley/
fidel castro is white:
http://journalofthieves.wordpress.com/2008/11/03/hasta-la-victoria-siempre/
I perused a website this morning with pictures from Denver’s “hottest” parties and nothing but white people in every shot. I did see one Asian girl dancing, but she was employed by the night club where the event was being held.
I thought to myself that Lander should write a post about Halloween and lo and behold, here it is! Well played sir…
HAHAHAHA
http://stuffwhiteparentslike.com
yay for another holiday perverted by white people to mean binge drinking and assuming an alter ego. 🙂 LONG LIVE HALLOWEEN.
It’s the one time every year that white people can go out an not be “just another white person” in the crowd.
Hall Monitor
http://detentionslip.org
lol, I’m black and my white girlfriend and I dressed up as Salt and Pepper last year (the shakers, not the rappers). I, of course, was Pepper.
Douchey said pretends to. PRETENDS TO.
fail
Strange that you talk about the positive aspects of “white culture” in such a disparaging way.
“…it does require extensive physical and mental labor along with a fair amount of research…”
“…white people are more likely to think “math,” “the economy,” or “Post-Modernism.””
I guess it takes a white person. Meaning “a self-involved scion of the upper middle class, miming a feeling of class guilt.”
Dearest SWPL, here is the whitest thing I have ever seen.
http://orneryworld.blogspot.com/2008/11/whitest-thing-i-have-ever-seen.html
And I bet you had a hard time stopping all the “pop-ups”! Woo!
Honey, if I took you out, I’d put the bill on multiple tabs. …Woo.
Yeah, seriously. How can you forget the Ghostbusters?!
My fellow American patriot citizens,
whether Obama’s grandmother died or not: don’t forget that his aunt was an illegal alien and that he tried to bring his whole Kenyan tribe illegaly into the USA. Who knows if his grandmother was not an alien, too.
Tonight I will be declared president elect. I thank all Americans who voted for me. Those who did not will regret it.
Those who did not vote for me yet shall not forget that it’s called The White House.
After my inauguration I will send that black Obama guy to his Muslim friends to Guantanamo and finish Iraq AND Iran. And I will raise taxes only on those Americans who voted against me.
Our black citizens will get the place in our society that they fit in. I promise to all Americans that I will bring back the good old times.
Watch my victory speech tonight on TV.
As opposed to Easter?
there is no critical vantage clander. meta-white is just a mystical hermeneutic white–admirable that you go the full circle, but you always wind up back in the same place. like most youth cultural offerings, your blog is lightly entertaining, but we’d all be better off if it stopped existing.
you can write your own ticket at Vanity Fair or Rolling Stone if you wanted.
time to move on.
hugs and kisses,
guy who detests yuppie legitimation machines and confession booths.
John McCain we know you are a fake sissy so grow up and get a life. you forgot the full name John Dick Head McCain
http://www.culturallycool.com
Halloween is great for kids and some adults need to let it go.
Of course if I were to dress up I’d be the predator from Alien vs. Predator what a great costume that would be.
Great dreadlocks.
http://www.culturallycool.com
This is the stuff white people REALLY like:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081104/ap_on_re_us/confederate_controversy
White people definitely love halloween, that’s for sure.
T
irresistibleimpulse.wordpress.com
hmmm…ya think black people have the same motivation?
Right, so I’ve read through some of these posts, but certainly not all of them. But in any case, I have a question:
Which ones are supposed to be the funny ones?
Next topic: ‘Family Guy’ paraphrasing.
But seriously dude, you really suck at this.
It should be noted that Heath Ledger’s Joker has replace Brandon Lee’s The Crow as the most word dead actor in clown make up costume.
For shame!
puns – irony – white people.
obviously not the rappers. any white person worth their weight in the salt you claimed your lady dressed up as knows that it’s “Pepa” not “Pepper” seeing as white people like grammar and always being right. Seriously.
We dressed up as the Wizard of Oz.
-Group costume.
-Well known movie.
Yep. Very white
You know that is true all Halloween party for white people is a damn contest of whatever the costume is. Majority of white people are all about “I’m going to a Halloween party” or “I’m going trick or treat with my little white bother/sister.”
Plus all white people have to know where to get the perfect costume instead of putting on normal clothes or buying a ten dollar costume. Then white people only give you like one piece of some cheat ass candy they had for like two years.
Hell I’m white and I do not even like Halloween its just a stupid holiday and its no where near compare to the holidays that you get junk for free that is not candy.
lmao awsome post. This is so funny! I am a white senior in high school and I can say everything in this post is very racist but more importantly it is all very true! hmm would it still be considered racist if it is true? doesnt matter because im not offended anyway.
let’s go through this post and link it to different people in my school.
concept costume- every year this girl emily dresses up as something crazy that is impossible to guess (last year she wore earth tone colors, taped leaves to her, and told everyone she was mother nature)
movie characters- I must have seen about 20 heath ledger jokers walking around school last friday.
group costumes and 80s- a bunch of fags all dressed up as greasers.
offesive costume- a girl walked in dressed as a bloody tampon. hahaha
Communism.
I was once again dressed up as Frank Chu but no one really knew who he was so I had to explain it.
the article forgot to mention how white people who really dig the holiday will tie it to how the Ancient Celts worshiped and refer to it as Samhain / Samhein not Halloween and pull out a few tidbit facts like….jack o lanterns used to be carved out of potatoes or turnips…..
i was kurt cobain.. some white girl dressed up as global warming
Totally hilarious. It’s funny because it is true…
hahaha this is GRAND!!!!!
I’m the asian girl who dressed up as sarah palin this halloween. That must’ve covered a few things white people like
So white people commondeered Halloween. I thought it was only for us goth kids and morbid types. But after moving to a prestigious college town infested with rich urbanites, I’ve quickly become exposed to everything in this blog. And I’ve never felt so alienated by my own race. It hurts to be white but not.
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-139053
Puts alot into perspective no matter your thoughts.
I went as a single white woman who orders chinese food and watches a romantic comedy in her one bedroom apartment.
I wanted so desperately to have something to do this Halloween with the absurdly nice weather. Here in Illinois it’s usually freezing sleet on Halloween and I always hated having to wear a heavy coat over my costume when I was a kid. Alas, I had nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no costume at all. I thought abut writing “Idaho” on a piece of paper and taping it to my shirt but didn’t do it. I also thought about making a Brak mask, as in the Cartoon Network character from the long-defunct Cartoon Planet and The Brak Show. I would wear the mask and Brak’s blue gloves and boots and a suit and go as, yes, Brak Obama. Now if I could have found someone to go with me as a cross between Zorak and Biden, I really would have been in business.
I think you might be missing an ‘is’ somewhere in here.
“The first thing you need to know that white people are the only people on the planet who will dress up as a concept.”
Also, a ‘y’ at the end of ‘part’ would make a lot of sense here.
“White people will find this hilarious, unless there is another non-white person at the part making the same jokes.”
Eh, i’m white .. and .. i might say .. I don’t give a god fuckin fuck about halloween .. fuckin racist .. white people this white people that .. go suck a cock fuckin bitch, you had nothin better to do in your day then write a fuckin stupid shit like that .. bro .. you’re a dumbass
You guys are awesome! See: #99 Grammar.
wrong type of white person
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1090
phd comics
cartoon white people and some tan people
costume party options…
“zinc finger”
DNA ? (last panel… not sure… been awhile since nat sci 101)
“fudge factor”
“golden bough”
I smiled then I laughed
White people love a busty bimbo!
I actually worked at a Halloween store this season, so I’d like to throw in that white folks also like sexy/slutty costumes as well as dorky ones. Sexy, witch, sexy vampire, sexy nurse, sexy cowgirl, sexy pilot, racecar driver, fairy, princess, angel, devil, 880’s chick, goth girl, soldier, schoolgirl, girl scout, Eskimo, Native American, ad infinitum. For the guys, some guy from Halo, Darth vader, soldier, cop, Spiderman with fake muscles, Batman with fake muscles, gladiator…you get the gist. Dorky costumes were whoopie cushion, rubber chicken, and Breathalyzer with strategically placed straw to blow in…right at crotch level.
I went as a grumpy temporary retail worker and pulled it off well.
its really a good idea
Actually, the Bell Jar was a movie. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078843/
Is the guy in the lower picture supposed to be dressed as the economy? While original, it doesn’t strike me as amazing.
http://www.poeticmotherlover.com
Short Circuit, for all your Indian/Robot crossover fun.
I love the Bush tracker costume….
This year for Halloween, I made up my own original shit…I was a “Ghetto Goblin”!!!!
http://andthisismyamerica.com/2008/11/10/steven-lipski-is-probably-somewhere-listening-to-rkelly-right-now/
http://picasaweb.google.com/zapfdingbat/PocaseHalloween#5263546169867646002
My friend and his brother are 26 and 24, live with their parents, and have exhaustive Halloween preparations. They only get about 4 or 5 knocks on the door on the 31st, though.
…..but the writer of this blog is white…..what the heck are you trying to say??
U just wanted to say bad words, huh???!!!! Successful!!
Just to clarify, what’s ‘white but not’ about being goth and morbid?
my son was dressed up as “pumpkin pi”
I love him too! I read his book the American Dream
and laughed all the way through. Certainly a MUST READ!
“The first thing you need to know that white people are the only people on the planet who will dress up as a concept.”
Really. You should be introduced to Japan.
are you kidding? the bell jar was sylvia plath’s only book and then she killed her self, you dummy.
another thing white people like is to correct others on comment boards when something is spelt incorrectly.
Aw, how cute–the guy in the picture is dressed as someone who doesn’t know jack about how the economy works.
It sounds like the only way that party could have been whiter is if it had incorporated the 1980s.
Ha!!!!
http://andthisismyamerica.com/2008/11/12/cindy-mccain-cheats-on-john-talk-about-bad-timing/
UMMMM, EVERYONE LOVES HALLOWEEN! I mean this is another stupid post. My friend grew out his mustache for halloween and charity. Its fuckin hilarious. Check it out:
http://www.garbarrassing.com/Comment/Blogs/0018.php
Right on the money as usual – but I must say that I disagree with one aspect of this post:
Please note that this is only for the very advanced stages of whiteness, but dressing up as a common and very popular movie character (such as Austin Powers) can actually be one of the ultimate forms of white ironic costuming. By dressing as Austin Powers (preferably in a store bought or rented costume), the advanced white shows their self-conscious and ironically aware sense of humor in lampooning the “clueless” types who would actually wear such a costume in a non-ironic sense.
This type of costume my by the ultimate “feedback” loop – one is not actually dressed as Austin Powers per se, but as a “clueless individual dressed as Austin Powers”, thus giving the wearer a sense of superiority and any their friends that are “in on it” a smarmy and smug laugh – all at the expense of the uncreative, clueless types of people who would actually be so pedestrian as to don the costume irony free.
Now, how ultimately white is that?
You forgot to mention that white girls love Halloween because it gives them the chance to dress like whores and get away with it….somewhat.
Any other day, they just dress like half-whores.
this is not so Bobbi Miller. i’ve never seen so much as a pumpkin on a black families doorstep. My family didn’t even celebrate it!
There’s an understanding among the paler set that costumes not actually be scary . They are inured to such a betrayal of their illiterate Celtic forefathers through a childhood of store bought princess/pirate/clown/Disney character costumes, wherewith the pattern of all subsequent Halloweens is set. The early taint of Wallmart is redacted by more expensive store bought get ups or DIY snobbery; the evisceration of Halloween continues in more elaborate form. If you show up at a party with stomach turning makeup, or something otherwise intended to help you blend in with the inmates of Hell (loosed on earth but one night a year), you will get very snarky praise.
Horror movies are also a touchy subject. In order to gain white approval, they must either be “socially relevant (and from the ’70s)”, “so bad its good”, or “foreign”, excused for the purposes of irony or pretension.
http://andthisismyamerica.com/2008/11/14/this-one-is-for-the-fellas-how-to-take-advantage-of-a-weekend-when-your-girlfriendwife-is-away/
I just wanted to say that I hate Halloween with a passion. It is such a dumb holiday. Really, people need to think about eliminating it altogether.
Ouch! I stumbled across this blog and I have to say to a certain extent my feelings are hurt. It may be stupid and silly to celebrate a holiday simply to dress like a sexy “this” or a sexy “that,” but why write a whole blog about “stuff white people like??” I mean, I’m white. Let’s think about this a different way. What if I created a blog called “Stuff Black People Like.” I would be raked over coals with words like “racist” and “bigot.” I just will never understand how this country could have elected their first African American president, and yet we will forever draw lines between white and black equality or silliness. I live in the Virgin Islands and I have to say that I appreciate the Caribbean way of life. No one is better or worse. Everyone is equal and should serve a higher purpose than petty bickering and perhaps…writing blogs dedicated to “stuff while people like?” Food for thought.
White people love catching typos.
Okay Bailey, chill! This blog is a parody of the stereotypical, hipster white person.
This is comedy! Treat it as such.
get over, whitey.
Who dresses up and goes to parties for Halloween, anyways? I don’t. Great night to get caught up on homework and such, though.
Don’t you realize that this not meant to hurt anybody’s feelings? It is humorous, Why can’t you laugh at your self a little bit more. life is not that serious.
Apparently dry humour and subtle wit is not part of the caribbean lifestyle.
You should search out http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/ and condemn another blog written purely for satire.
These pirates are bad ass!!!!
http://andthisismyamerica.com/2008/11/18/determination-of-a-pirate-how-a-band-of-somali-pirates-hijacked-a-supertanker/
Lewis Black made a good point about Halloweeen. He didn’t see the point of putting on a ridiculous costume if you are an adult because (paraphrasing), “I live in New York City. People put on ridiculous costumes EVERYDAY!”
Just like when its not Halloween, aren’t we just trying to grab the attention of random strangers just for a few seconds for a minor ego-boost?
Me personally, I just like seeing girls dress up in sexy outfits for Halloween. Sexy Nurse, Sexy Vampire, Sexy…whatever. 🙂
Thanks Christian! I used to see dressing up for Halloween as a form of slightly cheesy, but innocent pleasure. Now I realise that it is “fake” and “passe”. Especially so if you deviate, in your mufti, from a few stock characters and introduce anything as elitist as a character from a (I shudder at the thought) “book”!
If I cannot in future restrain the urge to dress for Halloween I will be sure to avoid discriminating against stupid illiterates by sticking to inane pop stars and people from soap operas and will avoid altogether ironic pop-cultural references. Hopefully I will, with your help Christian, be able to refrain from dressing up altogether. I may even graduate to far more meaningful pleasure seeking behaviours like smoking crack. My ultimate ambition is now to find myself lying emmaciated and homeless in newspaper soaked in my own urine having achieved the much vaunted left-liberal status of an individual who is “keepin it real!”.
Yea, you forgot Winston, the black Ghostbuster!
last
White people LOVE mullets … check out this mini-documentary on Youtube … it’s called “Mulletude”!….. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34V_9NpikFA
For every one item on this list, I have at least one or more “blackisms” to match.
Kwanzaa???? invented 40+ years ago.
Leave it to a negroe to invent a meaningless holiday.
Just for “blacks”.
How bout that racism?
Don’t forget Sexy Lobster. I saw some stupid white woman dressed in play money as “the bailout” it was freakin’ retarded. People who dress as concepts need to be slapped around with a large trout.
The bell jar was made into a movie in 79′.
Even more funny than white people dressing up for Halloween is black people dressing up for Kwanzaa or anything else with “traditional African” garb. I’d love to give them a one-way ticket to Liberia so they can see just how glorious African society is.
word up, bruthahh
Most blacks don’t even know what this holiday is.
It was ‘invented’ , in 1966, by a black man, for black people, exclusively.
Being the “cradle of civilization” and all, wouldn’t you think there would have been some sort of ancient, traditional African celebration they would have carried on through the ages?
Apparently, not.
Plus, many blacks believe Christ was black, God is black. And that’s fine.
So then, why isn’t Christmas good enough fo these black folk?
OMG… I just found this blog after the book was featured on the back page of the Age Newspaper (Victoria Australia) – My old work colleague was interviewed in the article…
Anyway the punch line is… I must have been born “white” as my everlasting shame is that I went to every damn school Book Day dressed as an obscure character from my favourite book of the time – Grade 4 – Ramandu the Star’s daughter from “Prince Caspian” Grade 6 “Racheal” from The Chrysalids… Yeah, no one EVER recognised me, and I was offended by that.
By the way… I love Japan so much I went to live there… cant write in Japanese though…
And now I tell poor people what is good for them!
I teach English in an impoverished rural school, but live in the trendy tree change village 30km away where i can get decent coffee.
I must stop laughing and get back to my school reports… Or I could get on to that book I have been meaning to write.
LOL 🙂
You are right that Kwanza was invented in the 1960’s. It is not a holiday, or religious. It’s a celebration of community. It is not intended to replace Christmas. AND, not all black people celebrate it…actually, i don’t know any black people who do.
Mind you, the “traditional African” garb actually is a colonial invention. The Dutch used to recruit blacks from Africa for their Royal Dutch Indian Army, fighting their colonial wars in Indonesia. The survivors came back with batik sarongs.
Even nowadays a significant proportion of those “traditional African” textiles are made in the Netherlands.
Ah, as a true white man I love Irony 🙂
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa5391/is_/ai_n21452672
oh ho, i see what you did there
you write these blog posts so you can aggravate some white people into replying with racist comments about black people, then having some black people repsond to that, etc, creating an endless cycle of meaningless arguing
not bad, mr. lander, not bad at all
“the preparation requires little emotional labor”…
followed by
…”Though it does require extensive physical and mental labor along with a fair amount of research thrown in for good measure” ;S
i guess since your puttin extensive physical and mental labor into it there needs to be an equal emotional input involved?
you’re an idiot
Great choice of pictures, ha.
Oh did I laugh at this post! I teach at a college and every year there is a competition amongst some of the faculty (our 99% white faculty) for the cleverest costume. The most “concept” driven costume I have seen was when a fellow professor dressed up as the center of the universe.
How could they forget pumpkin carving? We crackers love carving pumpkins… infact, every year we hokey-honkey’s have carving “parties” and vote for the best one.
This blog wasn’t meant to stop people from engaging in these behaviors, the author is more or less having some politically incorrect fun (undoubtedly being a complete jerk at times). I am not white, or black, but I find many of these apply to me. In identifying with a race, people do follow the herd more than they might imagine. This is part of trying to find a niche in society, unfortunately. Some of these “things white people like” shine a negative light on the “white people”, others show brilliance. Wearing a concept costume or dressing as a characters from book is far more interesting than doing as so many people of all backgrounds I know do for Halloween: scrounge for a prepackaged costume on Oct. 31. In fact, I think it’s what makes Halloween so fun. Creativity is one of the greatest virtues, as long as one is not harming someone creatively. I have recently seen blogs like “Stuff Black People Like” and “Stuff Asian People Like”. I do wonder why people respond in a less offended manner to posts in those blogs. The whole “keeping it real” image is creepy, I hope you aren’t as racist as you just made yourself out to be.
yeah! that’s actually a really good one. The one time of the year where everyone becomes interested in oversized squash, and uses indian corn to decorate their homes!
you could mention something about people thinking their experts at thunking a pumpkin to tell if it’s ripe, and acting all earth-connected and farm-wise. Apple picking could also be thrown in!
motherf-ck is the first word that came out my mouth upon seeing the morons in blackface.
i have banged so many white chicks on Halloween. They love to make any costume slutty – sexy nun, sexy teacher, sexy policewoman…
it’s by far the best holiday. add some E, and even better!
omg , omg , omg!! i am so orginal
i just pooped on your post
I am white and I dislike dressing up for Halloween intensely. I have only dressed up once under duress and I hated it. Never again.
so using black makeup is blackface now? it must be a tough existence being so sensitive that even an ipod commercial could be construed as racist.
omg you should see my boyfriend’s family and friends… its a production to say the least. news coverage over the years and crazy stunts, its out of control. only in the LA area will you see such crazy stuff. i guess they are involved in the movie industry so its that much more crazy! but yes the amount of $$$$ spent on the holiday…… out of control!
way to be offended!
um, actually “blackface” isnt just wearing black makeup on your face (ipod shadow dudes). It refers specifically to non-blacks painting their faces black to represent a black person. You might be a little sensitive too if any of your ancestors had been slaves/ considered three fifths of a person/ or were hanged.
My personal favorite dead-celebrity costume was the Sonny Bono with pine branches sticking out of his clothes.
I haven’t dressed up for Halloween since I have been an adult. Part of the reason is because I live in Foreign country and the only white people celebrating Halloween here aren’t American. For them Halloween costumes are jeans and a t-shirt and either a fake nose attached to glasses or a rainbow afro wig for men and some variation of a slut costume for women (sexy devil, sexy angel, sexy witch, french maid, outright whore, etc.) that always involve fishnet stockings – they get drunk and take lots of pictures of themselves in staged “outrageous” poses. I know this from the facebook photos of my White South African friend. I never see children dressed up for Halloween here and no one goes trick or treating – so it is clearly not for the kids.
My last Halloween I celebrated – I was in highschool I think. I was volunteering at the kids’ party at church, I didn’t have a costume prepared in advance so I went as a bag of garbage.
no. i don’t really like halloween. i just like to go out but i put no effort into my costume
Actually, there was one documented case of befriending an asian woman in Late 1980’s/Early 1990’s popular culture. Please referrence the relationship between Aya Takanashi and Tom Selleck in 1992’s “Mr. Baseball”.
It’s a religious holliday for me. But Xian stole it.
truly. two years ago, I was Willy Loman. I was liked, but not well-liked.
you could be the mod squad, that was a tv show in the 80s that involved two white people, and a black guy.
My thing was always a Droogie from a clockwork orange.
anyone that dresses up as marty mcfly or anyone from bttf for that matter is the coolest person alive!
This is so true. I knew a girl that was selling costumes on line to white children. She made a fortune.
And I being white and all rent a costume every year. This year my gf told me I couldn’t dress up anymore. I went to the islands instead and all the white people on the island were dressing up. The native people were like wtf is going on?
No Halloween costume will get a guy laid more than Lloyd Dobler. You must have the boombox and a tape of “In Your Eyes” on repeat. Press play, stand there with it over your head, and then take your pick.
Typing too fast….what I meant was that “No Halloween costume will get you laid more BY WHITE WOMEN than Lloyd Dobler”….
I went as an old-time minstrel show performer last Halloween
White as milk, my friend
I ended up wearing the same costume to the same party a second year because I wanted to get another use out of the $60 contacts I bought. Oh the scorn!
yeah, sometimes I do the book character thing. Its a great way to seem intellectual when your really just lazy/broke. I’ve always found it helpful to have one key element to the costume that stands out as not just a normal peice of clothing… to get the questions going;)
What is wrong with you people?? Why can’t we all just get along, together?
What is the MAJOR problem? I am so disappointed.
Barb
re. Asian woman group costume – you forgot about Charlie’s Angels!!
Im sure theres been enough comments about the ipod picture but I dont feel like going through all the archives.
Im just saying that if white people came around here like that they might not survive the night.
I saw these guys on the subway in NY…thats crazy 🙂 I thought their costumes were pretty awesome
Barb you are taking things way too seriously. This a “tongue in cheek” blog, read accordingly…
The sluty girl costume variety sounds like what a lot of American chicks do here. When my Kiwi friend came to the States she was amazed. She thought Halloween was all about the scary costumes, she learned her lesson that first year!
I tried skipping the costume thing the past few years. One year I told people I was almost famous. Another year I told people I was a living legend. The sober people thought I was a cocky s.o.b. The drunk chicks gave me a curtesy laugh (another thing white people like). The really drunk people must have thought that I really had tried to dress up. Why else would they keep asking me, “What are you suppose to be?”.
Yes, I dress up as a black person and scare the crap out of my neighbors.
Isn’t this blog writtten by a white guy?
I tried being Marie Antoinette and thought it was really fab and smart but I kep getting “So are you a blonde Marge Simpson??” Mind you it was SEXY-Marie Antoinette
this guy is a moron…very degrading and I am white. I dont think he is so special
Hate it!
I’m black and I wear clothes. Please, tell me how do you dress like a black person. Just curious.
What, no fried chicken? WOW!! Black face,that’s so original.Tell me when these guys get their show on comedy central.
This is great i have often been Winston from the Ghost Busters or B.A from the a team
I once went as someone who cared.
I love Halloween! It’s my favorite — more fun and largely less expensive than Christmas, it lets the gays boys be outrageous, the virgins be nymphos, the anglosaxons express their closet pagan (we HAVE to celebrate the harvest, you just don’t understand …), and generally everybody’s inner-child have a grand old time. So “cosplay” your anime favs, Star Wars muse, or Star Trek hero. I’m happy to be a professor from Hogwarts, myself!
Halloween is my favorite holiday too.
My niche is using Photoshop to create funny name badges for my costume or my friends’ costumes.
Hey like they said on mean girls. Its the one time out of the year girls get to dress like total sluts. lol!
Hot damn the first Costumes to sell out at wallmart are the Pirate, winches, Hookers and whores out fits! Cant wait for this Halloween!
My white friends LOVE halloween and they start planning and talking about it around the beginning of September. They even gt a little offended when I tell them I dont’ celebrate Halloween because growing up I wasn’t allowed. So I get that incredulous look like I’m some fucking Bible beater then I get the lecture on how awesome it is. lol. I love my white friends, but I’m not about to dress up silly and parade through the streets of New York.
if your black you should try going with blackface paint on… i’ve never seen it and white people might be offended by it, but I would laugh my ass off.
i’m white and i don’t like halloween.
I’m Pagan, so natch, Halloween is my favorite holiday.
Is there anything on here about how much white people love New Age fluffy bunniness?
Because we do.
Oh, dur.
#2.
Forgot about that!
a whole website was started up after the green man costume blew up this year. http://www.hellogreenman.com
trying to be some kind of social network or something….just from a halloween costume
I just love your blog!
Tony Zaros
http://royaldez.com/
Retards!! 🙂
You and ur neighbors are stupid!! Wow
True 🙂
THis isn’t stuff that white people like, it’s stuff wannabe’s, idiots, trend followers, pseudo-educated, people that think that stores where they shop, food they buy, clothes they wear, the stupid tattoos and piercings they get, shaved heads, big fancy cars and the slew of other materialistic things make a person, it doesn’t…
BTW: getting a tattoo, shaving your head or getting pierced doesn’t make you cool, hot or popular, it just makes you stupid and gullible.
Dumbing down of white society reported by a no talent that tries to call this writing..
Ummmmmm… WHAT???
I give you your props though. Some fairly astute observations, at least from whichever angle you’ve seen.
I think it’s kinda cute and funny.
MUCH LOVE GUYS!! 🙂 🙂
Now this is a true statement!
weird
Maybe you’ve wandered too far left, or beyond your level of pseudo-education. I’m offering this explanation as a white person whose favourite holiday is Hallowe’en and who has been, at various times, an extensively researched Statue of Liberty (ask me what’s on her tablet) and The Spectre of Capitalism.
I don’t know what is on her tablet but the Statue of Liberty was a gift from the French “Free Masons”? I seem to remember reading that. The Torch is a symbol of the Enlightenment— Who needs god when you have a torch and a brain? I hope to start a lot of controversy with this one. OBEY GIANT
Hmmm Halloween is kinda tricky around here (Dallas, TX).
Either you have people who go with it and have fun or you got the Halloween Grinches holier than thous that will either hide in their houses or will pretend to hand out candy with a Chick Tract surprise inside.
Those tracts are hilarious (it still irritates me that people hand these out to 5 year olds, though!)
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1053/1053_01.asp
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0058/0058_01.asp
The economy and the Joker … oh yeah, those two were all over the place. Funny how them people think they are original they ended up doing the same thing!
guilty as charged, again.
2008: Three’s Company. Unfortunately most of our classmates were too young to remember the show, so missed it.
2007: The mashup “Betthoven’s Fifth Golddigger”
2006: I forget what I called it, but it was another concept
.
.
.
2000: Anxiety Masquerading as Aggression
etc.
I love this blog.
I don’t think I like white people anymore
This is epic!
This blog should be renamed stuffwhiteamericanpeopleiknowlike.com as I have skimmed through most of your list and don’t get it! Don’t black people do or like the same things? Halloween is an American festivity don’t believe that all other white people in the world are out there dressing up silly! It’s just you Americans.
Brilliant — absolutely brilliant!
This is me. I dressed up as one of “The Furies” from the 1970s movie “The Warriors”…no one at the college party knew who I was, but when we went to the 30 something’s bar, I was the king!
“If you show up dressed as Austin Powers or Napoleon Dynamite you will be met with near-universal scorn. You see, you need to find a character from a movie that enough people recognize but not one that’s so well known that makes it easy to find the materials required to create the costume.” – this is so true! Ha! You totally nailed this one.
Case in point: One Halloween we dressed up in trash bags with holes in the bottom for our legs and arms out the sides. Nobody got it: White Trash. I think it was even too obscure for our fellow white partygoers.
is the guy in the picture white?
wow…
Gulity as charged.. I dressed at Hunter S. Thompson a few years back. No many people got it.. The following year, Steve Irwin with stingray…and this past year I contemplated a Heath Ledger Joker costume studded with pill bottles.. Didn’t do it. Gf said was too offensive with the pill bottles.
last halloween a friends of mine dressed up like a mexican complete with a sombrero, and my other friend dressed up like adolf hitler, mustache and all.
now i know why the world hates white people haha
Yes. My sister is as white as they come. Last Halloween, she and her nurse friends all dressed up in green scrubs and called themselves the “Gang-green”. Har-har.
Yes, well, we’re the only ones that matter. Why don’t you come up with your own website stuffwhitepeoplefromwhothehellcareslike.com
Personally, I’d rather exploit Halloween to dress up like some whorey version of a Disney character or schoolgirl, therefore indulging the secret fantasies of all my male admirers, and guaranteeing that in the future I can get them to do things for me. If I were to dress like this all the time, they would just assume I wanted to have sex with all of them, but if I just do this on Halloween, when it’s expected, they’ll still have the memory of how hot I look but won’t feel justified to constantly hit on me afterwards. With this memory, I can manipulate their dear, sad, impressionable minds into believing that they stand half a chance of seeing me like that again if they do my bidding. That’s how it works for me anyway. I would never waste such a golden opportunity on a stupid joke about the economy.
nicely done
I was Hunter this year. Same situation. I had to explain that I wasn’t a tourist like 80 times.
NOW I KNOW I AM WHITE! I have gone in costumes ranging from UMA THURMAN in PULP FICTION (BTW didn’t have to tell anyone who I was) to a group costume of the ELEMENT air water fire earth and don’t forget “void” Although I must mention not to underestimate the impact of slutty on the only day of the year it is acceptable. I LOVE HALLOWEEN
This is the only time of the year i can have sex with my girlfriend while she is wearing a slutty costume. I love halloween!
I did that! Updo, glasses, power suit, and a gun. I got hit on soooooo much LOL!
Rachel from the Chrysalids! Love it!
This website is great…
Here’s another hilarious website you should take a look at: http://www.somethingyoushouldread.com
You can pretty much count on there being a lot of white people sporting Green Man for Halloween this year! http://www.hellogreenman.com
Just saw another hilarious parody of Stuff White People Like on freedomhaters.org.
This time they add to the list, muskets and the Boston Tea Party.
I highly recommend checking it out here:
http://www.freedomhaters.org/content/another-freedom-haters-salute-stuff-white-people
Meh…Halloween is what you make of it. This recent Halloween I did something different. I cooked some yummy appetizers for my girlfriend and we watched some horror movies. She loved it.
Most of my impression of Halloween right now is that it’s a chance to do things outside of the social norm and get away with it. It’s ok for a guy to dress and act ridiculous and not be given crap for it. It’s ok for a woman to dress like a stripper and not be called some derogatory names.
I do get a kick though out of how it seems every year the women with great bodies dress up very sexy, walk into meat market clubs and bars they normally don’t, then have the audacity to complain the next day about the one or more drunken douchebags who put their hands all over them. HELLO? Would you dress up as a chicken and walk into a lion’s den?
As for guys, I see the hardcore costumers out in full force. These are the guys who spent loads on building costumes they normally wear to Comic Book Conventions and now they’re out going from bar to bar trying to win as many contests as they can…simply to rake in some cash.
I dunno. I’m glad many out there love and enjoy the holiday every year…and I even hear some children still like it and get to do some variation of trick or treat. For me I just am not into the large amount of events that overcharge you for drinks and are basically about worshipping any wannabe models who come out to act like skanks in the hopes of male attention (and free drinks).
My freshman year in college I was the Statue of Liberty, totally whored out with “USA” painted on my right buttcheek and my toga tucked into my thong. Down my arm I had also painted, “God Bless America”. I did go to ECU after all (NC)! No shame in my game…
Last years green man will be this years day man costume
http://www.daymancostume.com
That is funny.
http://messedupparentingtips.wordpress.com/
hahahaha.
I was just gonna go as Jigsaw.
ummm, not true “saved by the bell” featured whites, latinos and blacks, then there’s A-team, and also the breakfast club duh…
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE, who only WASTE their money on things like lame Halloween costumes.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
Freedomhaters.org has another really hilarious parody of Stuff White People Like.
Their entrees include, Madame Curie, Blackface, and The Music of Easter Island. I highly recommend checking it out here:
http://www.freedomhaters.org/content/yet-another-salute-stuff-white-people
GI Joe will be the thing this fall
dont forget rainbow bright for the girls who want to live their childhood cartoons..
breakfast club? weren’t they all white??
You ARE a waste.
You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
Ha. Just kidding. But I felt compelled to do it, especially since you accused me of doing it.
White people certainly do not like Dane Cook, and Abraham Lincoln calls him out on it…
http://lincolnsaysuncool.wordpress.com/2009/07/20/lincoln-says-uncool-dane-cook/
I’m beginning to think the trend of 2008 is the president in blackface. Ok, I get it now…we need a minority “friend” for the halloween office party, where strict workplace rules are eased and go bob apples in a barrel of (non) alcoholic cider.
Are white people “metrosexual” really? If I’m really WHITE, I’m going out as Sarah Palin in her hunting gear, with the Versace jacket and a fake pregnant belly with a baby out of her butt. Act like a “woman” until your female boss in her devil custome will curse you…with a pink slip, lawsuit and a soar end (the bruise shaped like a spork) for life.
Good job, SWPL! Halloween is alot fun to make prank calls, throw eggs on trucks, shaving cream on house windows and t.p.ing the trees in the front yard in middle of the night. Try that on your office boss for being a jerk all the time.+
Halloween 2009: The unemployed homeless beggar with a sign “will beg for candy”. I wish to replay the halloween 1994 baseball strike custome, I was in the Blue Jays (world champs) baseball uniform shirt carrying a sign “On strike”. My brother (he has long dirt-blond hair & a slight beard with goatee) wanted to go out as “Jesus Christ” to make the neighbors get surprised at the front door. But my idea of being the prophet Muhammed (short brown hair, mustache & suntanned skin) on his side would get me killed. +
You can’t be white but retarded! White people use the term “mentally challenged” before it became a bad word like 5 years ago, before that “mentally disabled” and even before is “mentally handicapped”. In the late 1980s, an autistic child was called “Rainman” and a down’s sydrome child was “Corky” by classmates teasing & taunting (insert name here) people. Can we have costumes of people who are famous “retards”? No wait, that is soooo offensive. +
Last month on Oprah, a segment about the return of the “skin bleach cremes” in wealthy famous black women. I guess black people wanna be white again, skin bleaching was common for African-Americans until the civil rights era. It came to symbolize shame & unacceptable for people with dark skin, unless they use the creme to make their faces “white” enough to gain acceptance by white people. Meanwhile on other news, more white women want to have brown skin, they “bronze” up in suntanning salons. +
Kwanzaa wasn’t a knock-off of (C)Hanukah either, like the 7-day or night candle also used for Kwanzaa (not a tree-shaped menorah). Some ignorant idiots think Chanukah is to compete with Christmas either, but not really. One may think the giftgiving on christmas day came from the 8 nights of gifts (every night) for children celebrating Chanukah.+
Well theres at least one for a black and white guy to go as which is the black sheriff and the white guy that helps him in Blazing Saddles.
That’s it, I am going as an iPod ad for Halloween! It is my goal to be as white as possible for this holiday! I am planning now! I write for http://StuffRichPeopleLove.com and halloween isn’t such a big deal for rich people. Too bad, they could afford some kick-ass costumes!
I like halloween. You are correct.
What, welfare is not enough for you? Go steal a t.v.!
i like to drink cat urine!
Hello everybody, I am the asshole using enigmas name to type ignorant nonsense. I know I am a dumbass, but I can’t help myself. If you happen to see enigmas name talking garbage, just disregard it. I am a dumbass, needle dick bitch with no life using other peoples name in vain. I apologize to all.
Maybe greenman will need a friend http://www.superfansuits.com
haha, no… you should be Pink Man!
crap
i like to drink cat urine too!!!
omg! me too!
why do I use so many names? I wanted to keep my beloved Micheal D. name untouched, but those nigras got to me.
Yoink
yoink
yoink
my name is soiled forever. +
Y-0-I-N-K!
i am a loser with too many names and too much time. i think the reason why i’m skrewd up is cuz my dad rapes me… Blak pwr
i am a loser with too many names and too much time. i think the reason why i’m skrewd up is cuz my daddies uh huh…/Chunky Redd/enigma/Michael D senior rapes me all the time… crackah powwah….
yoink!
This may be the best costume I’ve ever seen http://makefunofmyfriends.com/stoopid-friends/my-buddy-is-such-a-pussy/
Just read another riotous parody of Stuff White People Like at FreedomHaters.org.
Their SWL entries include: Sickle Cell Anemia, A Thesaurus, and the IFC sketch group The Whitest Kids U Know. Had me in stitches!
I recommend checking it here:
http://www.freedomhaters.org/content/once-again-yet-another-salute-stuff-white-people
Good point D-Jam.
Maybe those audacious woman should wear burqas when they go out. How dare they expect not to felt up when they go out in public!
We had a Halloween potluck at work and all the white women brought Halloween decorated cakes and I was the only one to bring a hot dish! They were competing you see, for the best decorated cakes. We had to order in more hot foods from the deli! Hmmm.
Stuff Poor People Like:
Guns
99 cent stores
Patriotism
Anything in a can
Denim
Rims
Fox News
Pontiac Azteks
Spandex
Church
Tom Brady
Addings “S” ats thes ends ofs everys words
Rhinestones
Minutemaid
Flag Shirts
Speaking of Halloween a new club opened in NYC called purgatorio and it’s a den thick with competitive, drunken, comstume wearing fools! enterpurgatorio.com/
what something rich people dont have poor people want and if you eat it you will die ???????? respond if you have the answer most people wont no the answer.
You asked this question wrong you dumbfuck. It’s “What do poor people have that rich people don’t? If you eat it you will die and it is greater than God.” The answer is ‘nothing’.
Dude, watch your language (Sir).
Wow, can’t argue with any of the white people stereotypes here, so true, so true…
Have never been a concept myself, but pulled off a group Charlie’s Angels effort many years back (with an Asian friend who was Lucy Liu, of course). It was a pretty lame attempt, but hey it was a group, I felt safe.
While at high school & college in the states, Halloween was a chance for girls to look as scandalous as possible (tiny bunny and cat outfits). In the UK, though they lack the trick-or-treating customs, they are more entertaining with costume ideas. I was just chatting with a guy tonight whose male friends are dressing up as Disney princesses – looking forward to that!
I should go out as Earl from the hit TV show (yet was cancelled) :”My name is Earl”. He’s a type of white people we don’t get to see on primetime TV very much, a redneck who lives in a motel, talks about not going to church and dresses in a manner to symbolize his class upbringing.
I once dressed up as a Q-Tip.
Holloween Sucks, and yes, typically WASP to pin “creativity” on backwards notions of goolishness and evil.
I guess all that hiding behind facades, pretending to be perfect and squeaky, a la Protestant, has to express itself horrendously at least one day of the year.
Secular Protestant cultures are more horrific than almost anything imaginable.
Blerchk
Funny parody of Stuff White People Like:
http://trueslant.com/harmonleon/2009/10/29/a-salute-to-stuff-white-people-like/
is it…. 20″ rims / DUBS?
NOTHING!
Keep an eye out on the endless spam of “Myfuncards” links and “Halloween e-cards” from unknown anons with names in all consonants, there can be embedded viruses in them to hack in and destroy your computer. Halloween is known for pranks, but in the 21st century the pranksters are going online and it’s something for us to think about.
…and did I mention his ’73 El Camino to drive his 2 sons he isn’t sure to biologically fathered? LoL, the kind of whites or southerners not associated with big wealth or corruption in the US government. Sorry Newt and Dubya, you’re not one of “us”. xD
As an Indian in a town filled with good and bad kinds of white people, I can say that Big Bang Theory has made me all the good kind’s best mate this Halloween. Everyone wanted me to be Raj.
A step up from the past two years where me and an Asian friend were Harold and Kumar.
Actually, Harold and Kumar belong on this list. They’re both minorities but non threatening ones, they like weed and one of them now works for Obama! Does it get any whiter?
I’m Sri Lankan, what a random reference to my people! I must say I’ve never seen anyone dress up as Sri Lankan on Halloween, but I’d love to!
As much as a white guy I am, border line red neck, this is one holiday I dont dabble in. Mostly because for Halloween, I like to just have a nice dinner and watch scary movies with the woman I adore. And I must say though, this blog is one of the funniest that i have come around to, I will be sharing it with the rest of my white friends. We might even do another white move and turn it into a competition to see who is the whitest of our group of white guys.
Anyone got the clip of the Australian TV blackface incident from over 2 weeks ago? The Jackson Jive of four whites in blackface are backup dancers for a “white” Michael, and the American panel judge gave them a “zero” insisting the act is wrong and racist, esp. it won’t “fly” in America. I heard European, Canadian and South African TV codes forbid any “racially inflammatory” images and negative ethnic stereotypes, even as a comedical skit, to be aired on TV. However, the US doesn’t have laws (the FCC will simply fine you if anyone complains) and Australia doesn’t restrict this either. Since when blackface is once again “acceptable” entertainment?
i’m loving the bush costume:DDD
It’s silly how white people would celebrate a now commercial holiday that originated from white people.
Big fan, love this site!
Another great site to check out is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
A statement from the crew that did it: “Out of the six of us, only one is Anglo-Celtic Australian. I’m Sri Lankan-Australian, there’s an Indian Australian, a Greek Australian, an Irish-Italian Australian and a Lebanese Australian. We’re all Australian.”
Full statement here: http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/hey-heys-jackson-jive-explain-why-we-did-it/
Love it!
I’d also suggest taking a look at http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
That last line is so true. I once went to a 1920’s party, and some white people got upset because I wore an authentic 90 year-old flapper beaded gown, and had my hair and make-up professionally done to match the era. These people were saying behind my back that “I went too far” or “got too much into it.” Still, I had the most fun and looked the best. 🙂
This site is killer diller.
Here’s another good one: http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
SHUT UP already!!!!
“So while your initial thoughts about a costume might be “cowboy,” “policeman,” or “Count Dracula,” white people are more likely to think “math,” “the economy,” or “Post-Modernism.””
ahaha haha haha!
except for the fact that The Bell Jar is a movie.
I’m an Asian woman. Charlie’s Angels, baby!
Quite the pants pisser!
Here’s another good one: http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
the bell jar is a book!
RETARD!
My name is Thomas Briollet. I must admit I am homosexual. The only woman I fantasize about sexually is my mother. She is so fucking sexy. I dream of bending her over and pounding her pussy in front of our gay French relatives. Then I will come on her face and she will lick it off and say “Oh Thomas,you are just like your father who beat the shit out of you and me and was a pathetic alcoholic, and now you just work for some stupid French wine distribution company because you are too stupid to see beyond cliches about French people!” The best thing the French have is the Eiffel Tower, but it is completely useless, like me Thomas. It is just an ugly heap of metal that serves no purpose. Big deal.
I think the French people are so great, but the French have done fucking nothing for the world. If French is so great, why does the whole world speak English? I hate English speakers, but it was the Americans who saved the French from the Germans during World War 2. I am a typical worthless French guy. I need to wax down my extremely thick eyebrows because they take up half my face. I live in China because I think I can be hedonistic and an international playboy, but only the trash of the world lives in Beijing because it is a shitty communist hole. The Chinese would kill someone to move out of Beijing. I moved here to make money to send to my pathetic French family who can’t find jobs to support themselves, because they live in a ghetto called Reims. I thought in China I would be an important white man, but really the Chinese wish I would leave their country, and stop sleeping with many prostitutes and sluts in their country both Asian and white. Take my laowai trash out, and also my horrible French wine.
I grew up in a housing project because my father was too busy beating me up and drinking because he was an unemployed alcoholic and he never loved me. But I still am playboy like he is. He fucked lots of women and had lots of ugly offspring like me. My father used to beat me up because I deserved it for being a shtihead bastard, and asshole. So I fantasized about fucking my mother like he did. Now I dominate women because I am scared of being controlled and powerless. I like to beat them up and be an S&m Master because I’m scared of being weak and beaten up like when my papa used to hit me. I like only sexy innocent white girls who are models and who are stupid enough to be submissive to me. They make me feel important and strong, but I am boring and an ugly French cliche.
I am secretly gay, but I never told my papa cause he would hit me hard and make my ass bleed. I like partying partying and drinking and dancing because I am so original! I am such a party animal! Too bad I am getting fatter and uglier as I grow older. Too bad I have a small small penis and I will never satisfy a woman; and they are faking their orgasms by going ah ah ah. But many sexy girls make me feel important. I am scared of being alone so I must be surrounded by lots of friends and distractions because in my retard brain I know that my papa hated me and he abandoned me. Sincerely, Thomas Briollet.
…Halloween?
you forgot to mention how much white girls like to dress in as little as possible on halloween. A friend of mine went to a bar once for halloween; i was a bumble bee and she was a rockstar. We easily had on double the fabric on of every other girl in the bar. i think holloween should be named “national white girl killing feminism day”
Emily that is the best comment I ever read on here. I was at a college bar on halloween and there was a girl wearing nothing but caution tape…
There is no halloween at my country. I dodged a bullet it seems
I have one issue with this article. i dressed up as austin powers last year and fucking OWNED that party*. didn’t break character once. can’t say that didn’t piss some people off.
*could be disqualified for using performance enhancing drugs.
“Acid baby, yeah! Very shagadelic.”
what is Halloween? Is that Jesus’ birthday?
THINGS REPUBLICANS HATE: No. 39 Grey Poupon
http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/?p=373
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All proceeds will benefit One Simple Wish, a NJ non profit. (hey – #12!)
if you like this blog, check out http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!
I agree that it’s bizarre how much adults are into Halloween. Moving past its pagan history as a horrid sacrificial/evil holiday celebrating demonic forces, it got quite watered down into the dream holiday of many children- their chance to run around the neighborhood until the middle of the night, free, banging on doors and being rewarded with handfuls of candy, cash and toys. We used to dress in different costumes and go around again two and sometimes even three times, when we could get away with it. I think as kids grow up, they have so much trouble dealing with the fact that they have to eventually give up on “real” Halloween, that now the adults keep trying to maintain that vibe, but it really isn’t the same at all.
Your observations of white people enjoying the holiday of Halloween are eerily accurate. For the past four or five halloweens, my friends dress up and go trick or treating, even though we are all in our twenties. The statement about funny and ironic costumes immediately hit the nail on the head, as I have dressed as Jesus the past few halloweens. I must admit, however, that having someone come out of their house at night with a flashlight and realize that they are being t.p.’d by a guy dressed in a messiah outfit is a hilarious concept. Nothing beats the atmosphere of halloween, e.g., the amazing weather, trading your candy with your friends from your trick or treating adventure, the new Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror episode every halloween, and of course, defiling someone’s house.
Tam, you are correct, of course – you score big white person points!
How about a group of Gilligans Island characters?
Neytiri
Lmfaoooooo. Okay so you are very accurate. And Emily is correct, I being a white girl, do tend to dress in as little as possible on halloween, only because my parents let me get away with it for one night but I wouldn’t call myself a white girl killing feminism. I’m almost 18, last halloween I was a slutty prisoner (wearing a short prisoner dress complete with handcuffs and thigh-high fishnets and stileto heels), and my boyfriend was a cop. The year before that I was a dead emo hooker (short shirt and short tight shirt going all out with slit wrists and the fishnets w. hooker heels), and the year before that I was a devil whore (mini skirt, belly top and again with the heels). Halloween is my favorite holiday, even when I was little it beat christmas. Who doesn’t love free candy, and dressing up as random shit? 🙂
Though I am part white, I do not really relate to white people culture. HAHAHAHAHA. Having said that, I will say in Hawai’i we did try and go into the white (known to us as haole) people neighborhoods since they tended to give us good candy/booty. I know local people there are getting more into the Halloween thing since they like any and all reasons to celebrate/party/dress up/be freaky, etc.
My family being very poor, I basically was a pirate every year. Wearing a newspaper hat, my normal puka (worn) play clothes, with a stick in my rope belt for a sword.
In college I basically was a rugby player since that was easy and I was not very interested in anything except partying. (This was before I joined a particularly socially conservative religion.hahaha.)
My best friend tho played out this white people thing to the hilt. Our freshman year she was a tampon. My sophomore year she was a pumpkin- with a hollowed out pumpkin on her head and the smaller ones hooked together to amke a pumpkin bra. Our jr year she was afterbirth- with a clear raincoat splattered with tapioca and various colored strings for veins, etc. Our senior year she was in Italy and I was in New Zealand. Where I did not celebrate Halloween.
As a parent now, I do have my child participate in dressing up. She goes to a gifted school where the kids do conceptual costumes. But she prefers characters she relates to such as Professor McGonigal, Princess Leah, etc. I have tried to support her by occassionally venturing outside the only costume in my closet (rugby uniforms) by Some being the husband of a dead bride (played by my daughter), or old Jennifer Lopez (white powdered wig, tight old lady dress with a pillow in the butt),. I have always been very churchladyish tho towards the harlot costumes. (We all know what those are.) Since I don’t like my kidding seeing anything related to fleshpots. Hahahaha.
I think Halloween is a great opportunity for people to play with alternate identities. Especially in subcultures where there is a lot of pressure to conform to a particular look. (i.e. Molly Mormon, Peter Priesthood- tho perhaps that is a costumne too. And not one that irritates nor annoys me.)
I always thought it was women dress as slutty as possible , and men dress in something funny, perverted, a combination of both… or no costume at all. lol at least thats the most common theme I see every year. lol not saying that those other costumes don’t happen, just i see it a lot less. lol
I have to admit, I’m black, but Halloween happens to be my FAVORITE holiday! Yikes, maybe my not-so-melanin-challenged friends are starting to rub off on me. But I don’t care, damnit, at least not when it comes to Halloween.
Only thing I’d add, is that you also can’t have an original costume that’s TOO good. It can’t be well crafted AND well thought out UNLESS you are an artist OR make costumes for money. Do that and you’ll get hated on for being smug or showing off with as much intensity as folks look down their noses at the person with the totally superficial, over-the-top costume that they just paid big cash for at the store.
You forgot to mention white people (women to be specific) like dress as “sexy” (or “slutty” or “hookerish”) as they can and still technically be in a “costume” and walk around town showing off their assets.
It’s acceptable in white society for 1 or 2 nights a year (depending which night a bar throws a Halloween bash) to show as much skin as you can, provided your still dressed as a character or theme.
That is why costume stores and online shops have just as many “sexy” versions of just about every costume they offer, including the “sexier” versions of specific costumes already deemed “sexy” in their original form.
You should know clearly that any woman dressing in a “sexy” version of a character on Halloween would be the wrong kind of white people.
Yes, true! As a kid, it was about getting away with being a simple hobo, or cat, just so I could haul home pillowcases and grocery bags full of candy that would last until Easter. In high school and college, it was about being unique, funny…heck anything that put me at the top of the heap, front of the line, or at least earned a free drink for being clever. I used to stress and plan and collect for months… All the while thinking— ooohhhh!! nobody has thought of this yet!! They will all just think I am so cool!! One year I was the Mona Lisa…frame and all. Another, me and a friend were a huge caterpillar. That won first prize and expectations of something even more spectacular for the next year. We embarked on our nostalgia period….Cap’n Crunch, The California Raisins, The Wendys girl, The Slim Jim guy, Mr.Peanut. Then all of a sudden, sexy was expected. I became I Dream of Jeannie and got so much attention just because it was cute and sexy…not clever! Next year it was the sexy pirate, straight out of a catalog.
Hot, but hardly unique.
Ehhh! I’m over it!
Ready to make Halloween about kids and candy again..
And for lazy white hallo-weenies like me, who want to be clever and fun, but don’t have any ambition left.
So I was at a harvest festival last month and stumbled upon this:
Haha!! You put your arms up (like you’re hugging yourself) and that forms the skull.
Perfect for my boyfriend.
Turns out they make all sorts of creatures…( I liked the tiger….I bought two and made the second one into a sexy little skirt and tail) and get this! The inventor is the bass player for the band Journey.
I say hooray for the little white guy with the big idea!
And hooray for me. I am going to be cool AND clever AND unique AND cute AND sexy!!
The real truth is white people like halloween because they can be anything but a boring white person for a day check this if you want to be cool http://www.myurbantree.com
I thought this site was great until I saw this post…
I find this demeaning, not to the crackers but to the actual meaning of the holiday itself. I wonder if this guy knows what the actual meaning of Samhain?!?
I think that white females are more into halloween, because they are just so exited for that holiday to arrive, to show off their body NOT thier costume.
I have to concur Halloween is more about white women having an excuse to dress as costume themed sluts.
Hahaha I went as Bin Laden last year it was awesome. Most of the things on this blog are lame as hell but if you don’t like Halloween you’re a tedious knob. Fuck the abstract theme costumes though.
Halloween is my favorite holiday.
New Years would probably be my least favorite.
BOO!
I’m a spook!
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
Boooooo!
I’m a dumbass!
“…there are no recorded instances of white people befriending asian women, latinos, Indians, or any other race during the 1980s.”
False – at least on one count – Chips. White people love ’em some Estrada.
I will Judo slap the candy out your bag and the mask off your face with merely the might of my ghastly uncircumcised penis which will leave you gasping desperately for the night air. Whaapp! (Better chew a Mentos)
Stuff White People Like
is very good!jqimzxbhdfgsdfwe
whaaa? I like halloween, too! the reeses come in bigger bags, and i can buy twenty and pretend i’m saving them for the trick or treaters.
Stuff white people like: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
Either someone white wrote this site or someone with extensive knowledge into hip, white things wrote it. Either way, it’s brilliant.
so so true. but a lot of things on this list are just things people in general like
i love halloweenie
i dont need to buy a mask, i go as myself-a gloryhole
i suck as many dicks as possible-good-its my candy
While it’s true that white people love em some Estrada, I belive his character, Frank Poncherello, was actually Italian 😦
Jason…
Shut the FUCK THE HELL UP YOU STUPID FUCK, IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT ESTRADA SPIC and Italian, YOU DUMB FUCK ASSHOLE.
Damn, you are one stupid ass MOTHERFUCKER, like me, a blackie. Or am I Mexican you ASS WIPE SHITHEAD?
We are all cracking up at work over this article. We were talking about hipster halloween costumes. So true…
omg… you’re so angry. did you get into a car accident this morning?
Poncho, ponchoerello, just fuck me in my bmw. where is rudi when I wanna lick some balls
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I am white. Halloween is my favorite holiday. It is my favorite holiday because it also happens to be my birthday :p
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I’m going as the doppler effect. jk, I don’t do Halloween.
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non-whites need to stop appropriating our holiday
Just released a huge shit, out of my asshole, I will leave it in the bowl. You may view on line, or if you are in the area bring the family. Me and my bowel movement are at Mel’s trailer park. It is huge, unique form, with some blood spats. No toilet paper used. Good clear view, and the scent is the best.