Stuff White People Like

White people are pretty conflicted about their culture.  On one hand, they are proud of the art, literature, and film produced by white culture.  But at the same time, they are very ashamed of all the bad things in white culture: the KKK, colonialism, slavery, Jim Crow laws, feudalism, and the treatment of native americans.

One way they can make up for it is becoming marginally acquainted with foreign cultures.   It is generally acceptable for a white person to learn a few terms in a language spoken primary by non-whites (such as Chinese, Tagalog or Portuguese).  They can then use these phrases to order certain ‘more authentic’ dishes in restaurants.

White people can also take passing interest in film, politics, music or art from these countries.  When they actually meet someone from that country, or at least who has parents from that country they cannot wait to engage you in all the details that they have learned.

“Have you heard the new Andy Lau CD? It’s awesome!”

It is imperative that you recognize how special and unique this white person is for knowing about your culture.  Acceptable responses include “Wow, I’ve never seen a white person order chicken feet,” or “How did you find about that film? I didn’t think they had dubbed it yet.”

These responses will fill white people with that self satisfaction they need.  Also, they consider a reminder that they are not racist, which also makes them feel terrific.