#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
January 26, 2008 by clander
Often times if you ask a white person about where to travel, you will get a lot of responses. But if you ask them about New York, white people will go nuts. They love the city universally and all either live there, have lived there, will live there or want to live there.
White people like New York because it has artists, restaurants, a subway, history, diversity, plays, and other white people. It literally has everything white people need to thrive! The only thing it’s missing is nature, but Central Park is right there, and since you are walking all the time, you are outside!
If you are from New York, tell this to a white person. They will instantly be interested in you “what part of New York? and you are really from there?” When they inevitably tell you about your home town (“I know this great italian place…”) you should respond by saying “man, I thought place was only known to New Yorkers.”
Another secret fact about white people, if you are in group setting and the topic of New York City comes up, find the highest ranking white person and say “oh, are you from New York?”
To them, this means you are calling them cultured, cool, and urban. They will respond with something like “oh, well, I’ve spent a lot of time there,” or “I lived there for three years.” You will have instantly become more popular than all other people in the group.
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White people like gentrifying neighborhoods too. Thanks to white people moving in my neighborhood my landlord wants to jack my rent up 300 bucks. I’m taking his ass to court next Tuesday. Btw white people from out of (NYC) state: Stay the fuck there! We don’t need your organic eating asses gentrifying Brooklyn. And stop getting mad when you get robbed. The writer of this blog should add this to their list of “Stuff White People Like:” Not having curtains. White people don’t believe in curtains and wonder why they get robbed. It behooves me to see a white person sitting in their over-priced (look up “gringo tax”) apartment on their expensive iMacs and they look up at me passing by like they’re oblivious to NOT having curtains! Look in wisconsin, that shit may work, but here in Brooklyn, the same Brooklyn where your race has displaced several minorities who’ve lived here for generations – that shit doesn’t fly.
“Highest-Ranking white person” <- hilarious. I assume there will be a ranking model forthcoming?
Dude, you gonna need to calm down. Some of your points are valid, others need rephrasing to be less sexually violent. Pace yourself thats all im saying
Fuck all this .. Fuck a skin color .. Fuck evryone who lives somewhere cuz its cool .. Die where the fuck you’re born .. A fuckin movie you saw aint a fuckin travel guide .. Whatcha think little black kids are gonna come take your hand to go play in the fire hydrant water splashin and you gonna be happy for the rest of your life ?? Go fuck a fuckin camel you fuckin fuck .. Evryone is fuckin racist and envious and jealous or fame or wanna bees or tryin toos or fuckin takers and control freaks and .. What the fuck .. Are people really like that too ? Like, peoplle go live there for a couple years and think they own the fuckin place .. Fuck my ass tabarnak .. I’m from Montreal .. All i can say when i read all this is .. FUCK AMERICA!!! … HahahAha
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