#86 Shorts
March 11, 2008 by clander
One thing prized by white people is making the most of situations. They like to maximize opportunities for all that they are worth. It applies to jobs, vacations, investments, books, education, and perhaps most importantly, warm days.
After a prolonged cold snap, white people are very excited at the first hint of a warm day. It is their opportunity to go back outside, to enjoy nature and thrive.
In order to get the most possible enjoyment out of these days, white people turn to one of their most trusted allies: shorts.
It is a known fact that white people believe that they can bring spring early by wearing a pair of shorts on any day that is above seasonal temperatures. This myth runs so deep that they will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop, at which point they will refuse to recognize that it is cold.
When you encounter a cold white person in shorts it’s best to say “I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to go windsurfing.” They will likely give you a high five.
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I hope some New Englanders read this blog maybe they’ll finally get the hint that it is NOT OK TO WEAR SHORTS IN 30 DEGREE WEATHER! STOP IT YOU’RE CORRUPTING OUR MINORITY CHILDRENIf NOW THEY THINK IT’S ACCEPTABLE! If you walk into a store and a million people are looking down at your legs you should get the hint; they don’t think your legs are pretty they think you’re nuts! lol Oh and just because you wear a hoodie or a winter coat with your shorts doesn’t make it ok either it actually makes it worse. Thank you. =)
Indians are the worst about wearing shorts in the cold.
I’m white, but I just had to reply to your comment as you made no sense…
Maybe that’s because shorts are not meant to be worn in the cold?!? And they know that??? hellooo??? I’d think you’re stupid if you wear shorts when it’s freezing out there!
Your so dumb, and i hate you sooo much.
go die in a fire.
It’s ‘You’re so dumb’ and not ‘Your so dumb’!!! Loserrrrrrr! Haha!
Go fuck the fire!
you guys are all gay!!!!
I like when little boys wear shorts rather than pants…
put alil love in your heart
I like when little boys wear shorts rather than pants…they can frost my face easier
put alil love frost in my mouth..
MD white people LOVE shorts…in the snow and up their ass in the summer
White people outside of Florida, California or Arizona don’t live to wear shorts. I had people from back east in my college arts class told me “we never saw people in Brooklyn wear shorts”. They say I’m under-dressed for the climate, the summers aren’t hot or humid to dress half way the legs. Who wears shorts in 20 below zero or 32 above F? Maybe white people are built for “cold weather”. +
Maybe you were writing about white people and shorts from long ago. Shorts are as much a REQUIRED costume in New York as ever anywhere else, especially if you are fat.
A fellow student in my class was a senior (60s-80s range?) told me that, he was a former Brooklynite/New Yorker and hadn’t lived there since 1990 (I guess). So, everyone in the east coast wear shorts? What’s the next fashion trend for northerners to adopt: cowboy outfits. Talk about going Texan (Yee haw!). +
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