One thing prized by white people is making the most of situations. They like to maximize opportunities for all that they are worth. It applies to jobs, vacations, investments, books, education, and perhaps most importantly, warm days.
After a prolonged cold snap, white people are very excited at the first hint of a warm day. It is their opportunity to go back outside, to enjoy nature and thrive.
In order to get the most possible enjoyment out of these days, white people turn to one of their most trusted allies: shorts.
It is a known fact that white people believe that they can bring spring early by wearing a pair of shorts on any day that is above seasonal temperatures. This myth runs so deep that they will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop, at which point they will refuse to recognize that it is cold.
When you encounter a cold white person in shorts it’s best to say “I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to go windsurfing.” They will likely give you a high five.
White people in shorts = white legs
Brrrrrr
Not too short though…
haha so true, this is me entirely! yes i have white legs julie, but at least I’m happy with my legs. i will constantly wear shorts on “warmer” days of winter just to spite my friends and mother nature. unfortunately for me, she never listens and winter continues.
omg, i used to work with a guy who wore shorts all year round. only one time in like 4 feet of snow did i see him wear pants.
… i am white… and since today is the first sunny day in quite a while, i am in fact… wearing shorts.
They also love to go jogging with the minimum amount of clothing in winter conditions. This shows the world as well as potential mates that they will look much better naked, and be way more fit than you are, because they would sell their souls to do that.
yeah, i never really understood this one…
I do the same thing, but it’s with sandals. In the South you may hear someone exclaim on the first really warm day, “You done let your feet out!” And once you let your feet out, you can’t put them back in until October.
More specifically, Jean Shorts… you wouldn’t believe the number of 30+ year olds who still wear those.
noticed were getting near a hundred, hopefully you cover the topic of good traffic. If a white person goes traveling they wont talk about where they went but how good or incredibly bad the traffic was. they will keep those stories in their long term memory while the trip itself will quickly be forgotten
Unless of course, said white people are in Europe. In which case, they would not even bring a pair of shorts, lest they be mistaken for the wrong kind of white person. Swim trunks and speedos or any other beachwear notwithstanding
I have a ton of shorts in my closet…..love shorts. From Nebraska (Which probably means I am white) and I don’t think it’s cold unless you can see your breath! Go Shorts!!!!
This site rocks….everyday I read this without fail. Keep it going and don’t listen to the morons on here that talk trash!
Don’t forget flip flops! Those usually accompany the shorts. However, I think flip flops probably deserve a separate post, since white people love them so much.
Yup – the husband is in shorts – the kids are naked, and I’m in a wool sweater.
that is a bald-faced lie sir! only the most despicable of white persons besmirches our good name by such an act!!!
This definitely has a ring of truth to it and could also apply to flip-flops. At the first hint of warm weather people will be out in flip-flops (present non-white company included).
White people like khaki shorts. Under no circumstances do they wear jean shorts, lest they be confused for Hispanic. White people only wear khaki shorts — the more useless pockets, the more preferable.
I am still waiting for the post about mopeds. I am from Oregon, born and raised, and lived in Portland for quite some time. Now then, upon moving to Portland and right in the heart of white people culture on an avenue known as Hawthorn I was in for immediate cultural shock having grown up in a Mexican community. I noticed many things, skinny people with tight pants and shirts, vintage and printed, floppy hair, dread locks and the likes. But one thing I noticed above all was that many of these people rode vespas and mopeds. Now, my brother has immersed himself in this culture…he owns a moped and attends moped rallies! What is the deal! Explain to me please the cultural importance of these funny little bikes!
Yesterday it hit 30 degrees for the first time in months here in Minneapolis. And wouldn’t you know it – I saw someone in shorts. And a t-shirt. Of course he was white. 😉
White people definitely like cargo shorts. They also like this site…
http://moveitmoveit.wordpress.com
Every time I see this it drives me crazy. Put some clothes on I say!
http://www.IGotUGGs.com
http://www.BehindtheApprovalMatrix.com
in an ironic way, this blog portrays all white people as smart nerdy people. honestly there is a large part of white people who watch trashy TV, don’t think twice about eating from McDonalds and for the first paragraph of this the blog does not fit neither:
“One thing prized by white people is making the most of situations. They like to maximize opportunities for all that they are worth. It applies to jobs, vacations, investments, books, education, and perhaps most importantly, warm days.”
i mean that’s saying asian and black people don’t like to make most out of a situation?
This blog is racist.
Shorts! Yesssssss!
Nice!
http://www.jonesview.wordpress.com
Don’t forget that white people Love to talk about the elements in houses. Hardwood floors, built-ins, granite, wainscoting, prefab, recessed, etc. And I think white people love period talk when it comes to houses. A realtor can upsell anything that is considered “prewar.”
Above all, I think white people love built-ins.
Yes, only white people enjoy shorts. This blog has gone from creative,witty and pretty accurate to lazy, overplayed and pedantic.
I am suprised I haven’t seen “writing a snarky blog” on here yet….seems like the whitest thing one can do.
I was always amazed at the cargo shorts in cold weather with a long sleeve shirt. Wierd if you ask me.
http://www.platenuts.com
Here’s a good example of “but i’m black-blue-brown and i like shorts does that mean i’m white?” being irrelevant.
lotta people wear shorts but only pathologically WHITE guys do so in the manner indicated. Meaning it is not a simple matter of saying, “It’s a nice day for wearing shorts.” and doing so but they are making some kind of statement to the universe at large, “I am WHITE! My life is so boring I am compelled to do arbitrarily oddball things to supplement my lack of personality.”
shit like that.
crazy white folk….
I have been reading this blog, non white african actually in africa and i would say most of it is soo true, I think this blog has made me love white people
Shorts must be worn *with sweaters* at the first hint of spring. Winter-pale legs must be sunned so that white people can get a ‘base tan.’
Can’t say I really blame those who live in cold climates for wanting to maximize skin-time. And you need to send out some mating signals in the spring after spending the winter looking like a bundle of indeterminate gender.
OMG RACIST!!! It’s borderline absurd how many people seem to take this blog seriously.
omg, this is why i love this site- the truth just bowls you over.
Haha, in the UK it’s flip flops, bare feet and flip flops out at the first light of the sun in January.
That’s white folks for you.
It was supposed to be warm today and I am rocking the shorts.
I remember, very clearly, as a pasty child in New England, busting out the shorts every year in, let’s say, early March. It was Spring!
Actually, it was about 48 degrees, and I would freeze my ass off in the back yard, but it’s another case where this blog is DEAD ON. My parents still joke about how they would know that the Earth must have returned to some point in its orbit that marked the end of Winter whenever the shorts came out.
can we talk about a related phenoma, white college girls without coats wearing skimpy clothes to go to clubs/parties in the dead of winter?
love the site, very entertaining. keep ’em comin’
hilared, there is nothing wrong with that.
This is so true! Okay, I live in a big west coast city. And there are people…now that I think about it, only white people…and they wear shorts YEAR ROUND. I mean, even in December. One woman I know through a friend and see from time to time actually commented on the fact that she “has to wear shorts every day.” Is this a sign of mental illness? Because even though we get a lot of good weather, we get a lot of freezing weather as well. There is no way, noooo waaay that these people aren’t freezing and extremely physically uncomfortable at least 120 days of the year {and that is a generous, pared down number assuming it is only cold four months in a row and all those months are only 30 days}. WTF?! ps> I’ve seen this cut across all age and gender groups.
Here is something I posted in the past about how much I hate people in shorts.
http://makingitrain.blogspot.com/2008/02/hating-it-rain.html
http://makingitrain.blogspot.com
updated daily.
cargo shorts and an old hoodie, flip flops is the most comfortable combination in 48-65 degrees. Especially when my legs are still all pale with dry winter skin.
I get more annoyed with those white folk who refuse to wear shorts in 90 degree weather. no, for them its skinny jeans black t shirts and perhaps a scarf.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before:
White people love making money! Case in point – this blog! Ever wonder why many of the posts are irrelevant and not that funny or “satirical”? Here’s a clue – Google Ad Sense (Google it if you haven’t heard). With nearly 11 million hits (as of 10:30am on 3/11), and I’m sure millions more to come, this kid has duped you all into making him a shit ton of money! All he needed was the right formula – a blog that was provocative enough that people would send the link to their friends, yet obvious enough that people could be validated by it daily, and feel smart by leaving pithy/inane/racist comments. What could be more provocative in America than talking about race, especially whiteness? What could be more validating than discovering subtle ads related to the blog content? I’m sure plenty of you suckers have clicked on them.
Hahaha. I wish I was as smart as this kid!
RE: #39
No, we can’t.
I can’t believe all the peeps ranting on racism that haven’t picked up on the obvious SEXISM that exists in this Blog.
Many of these white stuffs pertain only to mails.
Keep chicks out of it!
i say that for there own goods.
Also – flip flops.
No lie – I was in Vermont, 18 degrees outside. White dude was walking around in shorts and flip flops.
I absolutely HATE shorts and I’m white. But I do love wearing a skirt when the weather just gets warm enough…. so maybe it’s the same principle.
Dear “Fish Noir Foul”,
Your grammatical skills make me shudder.
Your blog is some of the funnies sh*t I’ve read in a long time. Thanks! You made my morning!
Ryan that be ‘shutter’ you idiot
you need to qualify this: white MEN love to wear shorts. it’s a guy thing; women will turn to skirts or flouncy summer dresses, at least, adult women.
This guys a genius. Ive often wondered about the shorts + sweatshirts. If it’s cold enough to have on a sweatshirt, isn’t it too cold for shorts…If its warm enough for shorts, isn’t it too hot for a sweatshirt?
White people love Rainbows too. (but so do I)
I like the winter, but I am really looking forward to a time where I can wear shorts & go without socks. Gawd, how I hate wearing socks. I have khaki shorts and jean shorts.
there’s always “that guy” that busts out the jorts when it’s 55 degrees….
The British (notorious white people) conquered something like half the Earth wearing itchy wool uniforms and long pants. Even in the frickin’ Sahara Desert. Then, in the 1930s, they started wearing shorts with their uniforms and in less than a generation their empire had vanished. I think there’s a lesson here someplace. Shorts make you look unserious.
or how about wearing shorts with the vintage tee’s listening to most def?
http://www.platenuts.com
When are we going to get a drop about white’s love for expensive baby prams with manufacturer names that are difficult for non-white to pronounce?
Other stuff white people like:
Pantsuits
NASCAR
Having their own drinking fountains
Abercrombie & Fitch
Socks
Not having to go through a security check to see their dad
90-minute commutes
Streakers
Boy George *or* Cyndi Lauper, but not both
Naming their kids LaShawan and Kyneesha
Post-modernism
Oral hygiene
Their penises
Being hypocrites about recycling
Supper clubs
Being around other white people
Clam chowder
Their lawns
Golf
Bitching about paying taxes for public services like transit
#55/Whitey Ford:
55 is shorts weather after several months of high temps in the 10’s & 20’s. Hell, after that, 40 degrees is shorts weather.
And flip flops! Especially when its below freezing.
Forget warm weather. If the sun is shining, even if it is 30 a white man will undoubtedly be wearing shorts and not because he is on his way to the gym, just because. Now can we talk about not wearing a hat, coat or scarf when it is freezing outside and tanning?
What? White women wear shorts. Currently I am sporting a pair of capris, however, since the temp has not dipped into shorts realm for me. I’ve been in flip flops since late January. (I done let my feet out early.)
You know what I won’t do, though? As a true Southerner, I don’t get in the ocean until mid-July. It’s cold.
LOL at bjfewell.
#5 meldizzle said:
“omg, i used to work with a guy who wore shorts all year round. only one time in like 4 feet of snow did i see him wear pants.”
When I lived in Chicago, I worked with a guy like that, too. He wore shorts pretty much the entire year and January/February in Chicago can get pretty f*cking cold. I think I only saw him in jeans/pants once in maybe four years. :shakes head:
DEAD on.
You should write about how white people love kazoos and walking in parades with them.
DEAD DEAD on.
snoutrockets.com
I laughed so hard I choked.
Where’s my Charmin? Oh, here it is…
(squeezes and rubs against cheek)
Ahhhh…..
I live in California, so shorts work all year long. Sandals, too. White people also love to be courageous and spontaneous. Where are the posts on those topics? White people also like surfing, but so do all people who try it once.
Jeff Lewis
No, Fish Noir Foul, it’s “shutter”.
It’s also “blog” (not a proper noun), “stuff” (plural of “stuff”), “males” (but more accurately, “men”), “their”, and “own good”.
Also, this blog is written by a woman.
I would have let it all go if you hadn’t come back to blast Ryan.
Whoops, even I’m an idiot. I meant “shudder”.
A “shutter” is on a window. A “shudder” is what one white person does when he/she is repulsed by another white person’s lack of literacy. I liked you until now, Fish.
Ha ha — i am just finding this blog and it is horrifyingly accurate….except I will say that I am white and I NEVER wear shorts. But I am pretty much spot on for the other million things this blog says I love….
Dude, did you listen to the NPR interview? This blog is written by a guy.
Real white people listen to NPR.
Can you please do a post on how white girls love black men already? Cuz you’re obviously running out of material and just really grasping at straws now…
Look you got yours on asian girls, so what about us now?
WE GOTZ JUNGLE FEVAH!!!! Hoo hoo!!
=P
You are ALL a Lost Generation!
Parker Posey said that & she was talking about White peolple.
😉
Damn Straight.
it was 48* here in slc the other day, I was PROUDLY sportin’ the cargo shorts and a t-shirt (a band shirt too)
damn I’m smooth.
The difference between this blog being racist/not-racist lies in white perceptions of it. While it’s clearly meant to be a satire, all you white folks are basking in how accurate it is, while assuming that there is no larger structural problem with the things “white people like.” Of course it’s racist in that it’s essentializing about white people, but in a way that other minorities have been essentialized for centuries.
I prefer my fur coat to shorts.
I’m a whitie who has always hated shorts. I love the latest phenomenon though, of hipster boys wearing cutoff bermuda shorts with bandannas around their necks, and usually wearing vans (the kind that Mr. Rogers used to wear, with the laces). And then the hipster fucking girls wear their slouchy boots with either booty shorts or bermudas. Never fails.
wow, you guys are harsh to the illiterate….really, lighten up.
and liz: essentializing is not the same as racism. for it to be racism, there has to be some systemic structure of oppression, limitation, and disenfranchisement in place. white people are not oppressed–give it a rest. there is no such thing as reverse racism–that is a concept white people make up to continue their racism.
and, of course, it works. sadly it depends on the ignorance and arrogance of people like you though. read something, it might help you.
I do in fact where shorts the day after when the temperatures drop and refuse to recognize that its cold
has anyone suggested Che Guevara yet? white people love wearing t-shirts with his face on it, makes em feel like they’re making a difference by being “revolutionary”
Yep, it’s supposed to be around 50 degrees F today, so I’m watchin’ for whiteboys in shorts.
I’m wearing shorts right now. It’s 48 degrees outside. Oh, yeah, I’m totally white (legs especially so).
black people wear shorts too. you just don’t notice it coz their shorts hang down to their ankles
It’s true about the shorts. If you live in a cold weather city the first sign of snow melting = white people in shorts. It seems to coincide with daylight savings time…that’s when I know to set my clocks ahead 1 hr.
That was a lazy one.
Wait, I didn’t get the memo. My rocking the shorts yesterday when it was a chilly 36 degrees is not going to usher in an early Spring?
White people also like to make anything into a drinking game
http://gostevego.blogspot.com/2008/03/wii-should-drink.html
Okay, I am about as white as it gets, is the blog racist?
why the hell do I give a shit? am I so pathetically simple minded to care if someone is calling me something especially when its satirically true?
do I give a shit when I am called a cracker, nope, I don’t even know what the hell a cracker is, other than some burnt bread.
so go ahead and be racist about me as long as you like, especially if it continues to be funny.
all of you people whining about the racism of this blog should start your own blog about how racist this blog is and then sing kumbyfuckingha.
i think this one applies specifically to canadian white persons,,, that is what shocked me the most about the time i spent in canada, was all of these crazy people wearing shorts when it was like 40 degrees out.
another thing white people like is
http://www.myninjaplease.com/
White people love:
– nostalgia
– kurt vonnegut
– quoting movies
– calling wal-mart and “evil empire” but shopping there anyways.
– wes anderson
– mixtapes/ playlists
– road trips
– camping
– greeting cards
– being 1/16 cherokee
White people love:
– nostalgia
– kurt vonnegut
– quoting movies
– calling wal-mart and “evil empire” but shopping there anyways.
– wes anderson
– mixtapes/ playlists
– road trips
– camping
– greeting cards
– being 1/16 cherokee
I love this blog. Forget all these haters on here dude. They are pissed they didn’t come up with this shit first.
Some people take themselves too damn seriously. I’m black and I know we do fucked up things as people, but I can at least acknowledge it.
Great site.
and how about thoes people that think its ok to ski or snowboard in shorts and t-shirts just becasue its the end of winter.
its not that warm.
So, no one has yet brought up electric guitar? Or the fact that the faux anthropological tone on display here at least owes some debt to the Dave Chappelle/John Mayer bit of a few years back?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
just to be clear if you didn’t get it from my critique of liz: i love your site, satire is brilliant, & your funny.
J.Crew shorts, especially the madras plaid ones, are the pinnacle of white people shorts. You can’t get much whiter than that.
When are we going to talk about white people’s HUGE penises? http://joseelretardo.com
I think you phoned this one in. A better one would be CLEANING UP BEFORE THE MAID.
I mean, I love the site, too, and think the complainers are pretty much ass clowns. But seriously, give credit where it’s due.
This is very American White Male, *especially* midwest or northern, where it actually snows.
No European male I know would be caught dead in shorts unless they’re actually on the beach in warm weather.
Most of the men living along warm coastal areas wear shorts year’round, a slightly different thing, but related, I think.
I can’t think of examples where women of any color or cultural stripe quite do this, although the flip flops that someone mentioned earlier might be candidates — I’ll have to look for that one.
To the earlier commenter on mopeds — that doesn’t sound at all typical to me — in fact having mostly seen mopeds in Europe, that’s a very European thing to me. I’m fascinated by your description of this in Oregon…
From sunny CA — BEG
The other friend of the white person is the flip flop, that can sometimes be worn instead of shorts on those unseasonably warm days. White people also like to wear them with jeans and a polo or long sleeved t-shirt in the winter as a sign of their fortitude. It also reveals a “laid back” style.
One more plug for the fast-becoming-out-of-date quiz incarnation of this site:
http://quizfarm.com/quiz_repository/White/231648/
I’m from Maine (whiteness!) and the shorts thing is pretty common. I think my only problem with the shorts one is that it’s so close to the t-shirts entry.
When are we going to see messenger bags on here?
I think the being 1/16 Native is a good one. I know I’ll laugh a lot. I’m also 1/16th, so I’ll relate. Heh.
With this entry, this list most definitely marks itself as “stuff white Americans (or white American people, if you will) like.” Be assured, the love of shorts does not exist on the other side of the Atlantic.
this is so true man i go to college with mostly white ppl and often see many outside in shorts and flip flops when its cold as hell…i guess just do you though
I happen to think white people might have the genetic advantage on this one. After all, aren’t most ancestors from cold-weather countries like Sweden or Great Britain? Hence, for some reason, people with pale skin are able to stand cold weather in the way other races cannot.
Hence the shorts.
Stuff Asian Americans Like
Shorts?
What’s next? Jeans?
First disappointing entry.
Shorts are awesome! But white people don’t like them to come down past their knees.
I teach 8th grade, and the tell-tale sign that winter is soon ending is when my little 14-year-olds come clamboring into class wearing their too-short shorts on any day that is remotely sunny after February 1. Same goes for flip flops.
this blog is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time!
Much love for #93’s ‘quoting movies’. White people enjoy keeping deadly-silent while watching movies, so as not to miss a quotable moment!
LOL, my dad will wear shorts whenever the temperature is above 50 degrees F, even though he is most definitely not the Right Kind of White Person.
I also have to request a post on flip-flops. White people can’t get enough of them, no matter the weather. I’ve seen guys working out at the gym in flip-flops. My old roommate even wore flip-flops to the theater.
Khaki cargo shorts and flip flops….good lord. ALL. THE. TIME. You white folks are not very eclectic are you?
Having trouble finding material it seems. Everyone in America wears shorts. What rock do you live under?
I’ve known this about white people for years and years. I live in Massachusetts and the other day it was a “balmy” 35 degrees and I saw several white guys with shorts on. It was nice but it wasn’t that nice; most people were still wearing their gloves and hats on this day.
Love this site… tooo freaking funny. its educating me on the likes of white folks. Even though I lived in Boston, I still dont understand white people. But here it is, a site to educate me lol.., it must all be true if its on the intra web right! but the 1 thing missing on the list is FLIP FLOPS…. White People love flip flops like black people love Timberland boots or the classic Air Force 1’s…
Can some1 explain to me how Flip Flops are not on the list???
Definitely true, and it goes for flip-flops as well as others have said.
Contrary to posters who say that European men don’t like shorts, I can say that, at least when they travel outside of their dark, cold continent European men bust out the short shorts and “manpris” like no one’s business.
That’s why living in Florida is so awesome.
Haha!
The white men walking around Beirut wearing vintage PE teacher shorts in winter are awesome.
Only Hispanics with three kids wear jean shorts, I have some on right now. White People love the shorts with flops/sandals when it’s cold out. I’ve seen it. Time to jump the border into Texas, bye all.
Goosebumps come to mind when thinking of those exposed white legs!
Man this take hits too close too home.
I have to agree with the people pulling for flip flops to be added to the list. I mean, I even see folks wearing the friggin things in November here in DC… Somewhere, Adolf Hitler is crying over the road the Master Race has taken.
I love shorts!!!
I would wear them every day if I didn’t live in the north and if I wasn’t a pastor.
This reminded me that I need to see if any of my shorts still fit me. Spring approaches!!!
This post should have an addendum – flip flops.
I am a college student at a predominantly white institution, and if I know one thing white people like more than shorts, it’s flip flops and shorts at totally inappropriate times.
The weather broke where I am for about two days, and I swear every white person broke out shorts and flip flops, even a couple of tank tops. It was only 59 degrees!!!
They were on the lawn in front of the library rubbing their toes in the grass, playing frisbee, and basking in all the goodness of shorts and flip flops in February. Sigh.
The problem with shorts is that white, hair legs rarely look good. I’m torn on this issue myself, but I think god I’m not pale.
*THANK god
i love this site but this entry is simply not funny. no other way to say it. are you feeling a bit under the weather?
Cool!
http://www.igotuggs.com
http://www.behindtheapprovlmatrix.com
i know exactly what u r saying
Don’t forget the sweatshirt!
this is # 86, it should be in the top 20!
It’s too cold (unless you are running) and no, they are not appropriate for restaurants.
always see white people wearing shorts, preferably baggy cargo shorts
true, in europe (where we are all black), the first sign of spring is the fat white american tourist wearing shorts. you forget the white socks that go with them though.
Wow, this post is where this website officially jumped the shark. This is neither funny nor clever nor correct. everyone in the US wears shorts.
this one was lame. really scraping the bottom of the barrel for a topic here.
I happen to think white people might have the genetic advantage on this one. After all, aren’t most ancestors from cold-weather countries like Sweden or Great Britain? Hence, for some reason, people with pale skin are able to stand cold weather in the way other races cannot.
Asian like you~I have wondered about that too. I saw shorts galore on Saturday (a wopping 45 degrees) and I don’t just mean the runners. It HAS to be biological…
This is sooooo true. I grew up in California and if the weather was above 50 degrees WP were all up in those shorts, oh yeah and sandals (Flip flops, huraches, tivas, burkenstocks). White people also like “shrooms” and licking toads. Crazy stuff that Black folks are raised to abhor. Romulus and Remus – raised by wolves…ewwww!
I like to wear shorts but no underwear. White men can do this because we don’t have to worry about BBC hangin’ out and scaring tha childrens.
I have a suggestion for the next post: Tourists
You always hear people going on about some trip they took, that was mostly fabulous, except, “Oh my God, it would have been perfect — but there were *tourists* everywhere!” Dude! You were a tourist, too!
Another suggestion: Saying “dude” (or “bro”)
Also: Giving people/things (like cars) nicknames
Don’t forget….white girls who wear big scarves and no coat. Just a shirt and a scarf. (probably ballet flats, big sunglasses and pearls too) If it’s warm enough to go without a coat, then you certainly don’t need a scarf! I love this site!!!
This one is so true. At Virginia, whenever the high temp would top 60 in the winter it was time for the shorts/skirts and flip flops. However that has changed since moving to S. Florida. Whenever the low temp might drop below 60 people here bundle up like there is a blizzard coming.
This is so true! I live in Nebraska and the minute it was above 45 degrees, everyone on my campus was wearing shorts! I am white, though, and I don’t think I will ever understand this phenomena. I was still bundled in my winter coat, laughing at every goose-bumped leg running past me to their next class.
Our Viking ancestors would be proud! That’s one of the main reason why we wear shorts – even, nay, epsecially in cold weather – to honor our ancestors.
Plus, cargo shorts are MUCH more practical and comfy than horned helmets.
Pegged me again. I can’t wait for NY to get a few degrees warmer so I can wear my shorts with a collared shirt and a sweater over it…possibly with the sleeves rolled up! I can’t wait!
You didn’t mention the underlying factor that causes white people to have antifreeze in their veins instead of good red blood: overindulgence in alcohol.
in my touristy town, it’s really fun watching the fat, oh-so-white visitors rockin’ their shorts. don’t forget the velcro wal mart sandals.
@Vanilla been:
No, I hadn’t heard the NPR story but I found it and will do so today.
Sorry, Christian, looks like I made the wrong assumption.
I might be late on this, but if you’ve added shorts to the list, then you’ve got to add flip flops. They love flip flops.
YES! Do one on NPR. I was listening to NPR when I read #152!
I think the shorts fetish falls under a much broader item, “Reliving College”. That’s something male 20/30-something yuppies love to do, and wearing shorts in public – basically dressing like you just rolled out of bed, like you did in college – is one way to do it.
This blog is near the end if “shorts” make the list…..Better to shut it down for a few weeks and come back with great material than cart out the hackneyed. But what could ever top expensive sandwiches, divorce and being the only white person around?
My neighbor, he’s 50+, and he wears cut-off jean shorts every day. When its below freezing, he dons a pair of thermal leggings underneath.
And Sandals with socks. I’m not sure if the socks and sandals look is purely an Oregon Phenomenon?
This is true–about the shorts.
Ah yes, the shorts. I love my shorts. Best = shirt off, with shorts, and sandals.
Once again, a very funny satirical posting that was dead on! Keep ’em coming, my hilarious friend.
I agree with many of your posts. This, however, is a bit of a stretch.
Try…
1) One night stands
2) Making out with strangers
3) Feelingbad about slavery
4) Token black friends (see Colbert)
5) Certain words (awesome, dude, etc.)
6) Getting drunk
7) Themed parties (I think you guys did 80’s night)
8) John Mayer (I like him too)
9) Vampire Weekend (did u do indie bands already?)
10) Stupid Comedy (Will Ferrell, Napoleon Dynamite, Old School, etc.)
11) Being hip
12) Mayonaise
Real white people like cold weather. In face, white people NEED cold weather. The brain shuts down otherwise.
So wearing shorts gives white people the illusion that the warming weather is still cool.
Cleveland Amory, the critic and animal welfarist (can you get any whiter?) was told by his father that nothing good ever came out of a warm climate.
Once again so glad to know I am out of step with so many honkies. I wear shorts when the sun is out and it’s over 70 degrees outside. We just got back from a trip to the Phoenix area – where it’s in the 70s and 80s most days. So we did wear shorts there every day. But now that we’re back in the northwest – I won’t be bringing the shorts out for at least another 45-60 days. I consider anyone that wears shorts on a 40 degree day as not being smart enough to help me with major investment or purchase decisions. So keep those pasty white legs hidden if you want my business when it’s still COLD out there.
Dude, I see this in Seattle ALL THE TIME. “Ooh, it’s a balmy 49 degrees! Now where did I put that tank top and sandals?”
I would like to submit psychedelic drugs for consideration. I always assumed that everyone experimented with them until I was telling my friend Robert about a friend’s acid trip and he interrupted me to say, “This friend is white, right? Because black people don’t do that shit. White people is crazy.” He did in fact say “is” instead of “are” and I didn’t say anything, which also leads me to conclude that white people like correcting other people’s grammar, unless the other person is black. I don’t think I’m the only person who’s been in that situation.
Renaissance Faires. The Society for Creative Anachronisms. Going to “cons.”
commenters, you need to become better comedy critics – the last line of this post,
When you encounter a cold white person in shorts it’s best to say “I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to go windsurfing.” They will likely give you a high five.
particularly the last sentence, is one of the best things in the history of this site, and yet no one (before me) has pointed that out
step your game up, white people
I don’t know if this has been mentioned in the comments already (because you know, I can’t read) but it doesn’t just stop at the shorts. I see plenty of White girls wearing flip flops in the middle of a warm February day (warm like 45º in the middle of Manhattan) paired with their favorite spring skirt.
Ridiculous.
What I don’t get though, is that I see a lot of those same White girls wearing knee high boots in the middle of Summer.. wtf is up with that. I don’t wanna be the guy trying to fuck that chick.. Can you imagine? He’ll be all like, “Dag yo, your feet are stank!”
I would say that white men like shorts and white women like flip flops. I am extremely white and I absolutely hate shorts but any snap of warm weather sends me directly to my flip flop pile.
I think it could be said that this broad generalization applies far more specifically to men than women. Come on!
Boys wear shorts in the middle of the winter. I’m as pasty as they come and I very rarely see a lady out in the winter in a pair of shorts. But boys. Well, sometimes they’re dumb.
Saw a white man jogging yesterday in shorts….in 30 degree weather!!
I’m so white, I wear shorts all year. Aside from some sweats I wear around the house, the last time I wore pants was at my sister’s wedding. She was married in August 06.
Don’t forget to wear your shorts with your Rainbows when it’s still 60 degrees.
There is no excuse for shorts. I don’t care how hot it is.
The only thing better than shorts is flip flops. Wearing them reminds me of when I was in Asia. 😀
Mistaking warm for hot is a REally English trait. Where it is a natural adaptation to wanting to go to the beach, despite the fact its barely ever warm enough to do so. The Americans who do it probably have English blood.
RE: #145 WELDO:
OH MY GOODNESS!! CRACKING UP ON THE FLOOR LMAO!! SOOO TRUE
Go to Florida. Even Black people where shorts there. I’ve got a picture of Barack Obama in shorts
i’ve got a couple suggestions :
– improv (IO, Second City, Comedy Sportz, Groundlings, UCB… it’s really white, and improv in college was mentioned in passing, but many 20/30 somethings make a career of teaching improv and even more take expensive classes, frequent the theaters and perform as much as possible… it’s more of a social ritual than an art form at this point. also see the recently burgeoning Impov Everywhere)
– teach for america (goes hand in hand with travel, diversity & feeling like we’re giving back, we do it for a year or 2 before we go to grad school, you know, just to prove we can hang in the ‘inner city’ and survive)
– Trader Joes! (health food stores were mentioned, but TJs is superwhite & trendy, cause it’s cheap ya’ll! … and those hawaiian shirts are so cute… and even though we admire and respect the $40K starting salary plus benefits, we’d never work there, take note of the mostly minority staff)
this whole blog depresses me though, cause of course i thought i was so unique and am really just run-of-the mill white bread.
🙂
Re#174
Somebody has body image issues……
and re Jean shorts major flashing light indicator of the wrong type of white person!!
I was on your case for getting into the all too easy hipster bashing…i just want to give credit where credit is due…good work getting back on track.
Q: Four teenagers, a white girl, a black girl, an Asian girl, and a Somali girl, stand at a street corner, chewing gum, listening to their iPods, and waiting for the city bus to come. Which is the odd one out?
A: The Somali girl. You can’t see her bum crack.
I grew up in the Deep South and now I live in the Midwest and yes, the shorts thing is true in the Midwest. In the South I think it’s still more formal (white and black.) Women probably don’t let their husbands out of the house on Saturday to go get Krispy Kreme without a pressed polo shirt and pressed (long) pants. And women in the South don’t go to the curb to get the mail without full hair and makeup. However, in Kansas City I’ve seen shorts at a funeral. I about died and had to get in the casket too.
Interestingly, I was in Chicago this past summer on two of the hottest days of the year and I didn’t see that many shorts. One of the times I was there was during Lallapalooza. I saw plenty of bare midriffs but long pants. On the subway and in town, people seemed to dress a little more formally, with their shirts tucked in and long pants. It seemed to me people looked more businesslike.
N1993R5!!!!!!!
I totally forgot to add:
LOLCats. White folk love them things.
What about flip-flops?
http://moveitmoveit.wordpress.com
RE: #182 ELLEN:
Shorts at a funeral. I am officially done!
Yes, shorts are white-ish.
But specifically, white folks like cargo shorts with gigantic deep pockets that can hold anything (like iPods and digi cameras) and are extremely easy to pick-pocket from.
White people learn this the hard way when white people visit Barcelona.
Annoying white people like to wear a bluetooth device in their ear and scare everyone around them by looking like a lonely babbling psycho in public.
They also like to buy girlscout cookies for $3.50 a box (but who doesn’t like girlscout cookies?!)
I live in Seattle and saw Vantage point last night at around 10:00pm. I had on a light sweater as it was not freezing but still pretty nippy(my white friends love using this word) and was shocked to hear this conversation in this theater:
I cant believe your wearing shorts its freezing-White girl
Not 2 me, shut up-white guy
I didn’t listen to the rest of the convo but i started pondering, maybe white people stay warmer at lower temperatures then we do.
Can somebody confirm or dispel this idea? haha
http://www.lullmengesha.com
http://www.lullmengesha.com
i have a problem with this post because you are always talking about the wrong kind of white people…and those are exactly the kind who wear shorts. a true white person will wear jeans all year round…these jeans might be cut off at the calf and worn with slip on vans…but technically they are still jeans.
unless of course you are wearing ironic running shorts.
guilty as charged! It was a whopping 60 degrees here yesterday and today, when its 40 I’m wearing flip flops.
I am a white male who lives in So Cal. I can verify that there are 2 seasons here for my herd. . . sweats. . and shorts. . The cut off is about 50 degrees F.
lol, that is funny as crap. I’m not a white person but I always noticed that about white people and I think this post is hilarious.
god, whatever. I give up. The first 50 were so good, but save the multilingual kids blog, the last ones are so lame.
EVERYONE WEARS SHORTS.
Absolutely. Cargo shorts. *Old* flip flops, but not cheap ones. I don’t have a hoody, but I will get one. White people like to fit in.
And I agree with #167 Catsandbeer.com about the last line. It is pretty clever. Those who don’t get it will think it isn’t funny. They don’t wear shorts. And they probably don’t own flip flops.
My favorite is when people wear flip flops when there is still snow on the ground.
What, are those people immune to frostbite? Bizarre…
VANCOUVER
funny
yup, VANCOUVER!!!!
These blogs are starting to get pretty weak. I live in So Cal and everyone wears shorts cuz its hot 90% of the year. The one about “the wire” was pretty lame too. Quit grasping at straws and start getting funny again.
Here is some helpful hints…
SWPL:
Wes Anderson
Hockey
Golf
Skiing
Xtreme Sports
Spelling extreme “Xtreme”
Emo music
Parachuting
Brits like feeling superior to someone whom they spot carrying an umbrella on the first day in two weeks when the rain has finally let up.
My mother refers to weather in the 50’s as “shorts weather”
This is, by the way, her new favorite web site. She relates to way too many of these posts. It’s kind of awesome.
http://pnewb.wordpress.com!
You know what else white people like? Writing blogs.
Yeah this is definitely true, In New Zealand we wore short shorts all through winter as part of our school uniform and we didn’t complain! (much)
Dude … from Bronx and we all wear shorts once we hit 50
Ain’t a white person thing …
This shit was funnier when true to white folks only.
shorts is too generalizable. being obsessed with getting tan is better.
white girls immediately start wearing less clothing once it stops raining/snowing/storming, start spending more time outside (lounging in bikinis here in california!) in february and march to start getting tan…. that is spot on white ridiculousness.
Hilarious blog!
You should do one about Outdoor Apparel (Northface, Mountain Hardware, etc) and how we always like to look like we are about to go on an expedition.
– D
Idea for SWPL if not already suggested – Ultimate Frisbee
White people wear shorts during winter, just to prove they can.
http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
Not true. I wear jeans on the hottest days because I’m the shit. Shorts are for sleeping in. Peace White Bitches.
You forgot flip-flops to go with the shorts.
I love wearing shorts, but it has to be 70+ degrees outside.
Do one about white people loving IN-N-OUT.
OMG WHITE PEOPLE BAAAA, I LOVE NIGGERS, AND I TOOK COMPUTER SCIENCE 3
Great list, but when are you going to get around to a post for “Snarky Blogging”?
Ah ha! I hate shorts! I hardly ever wear tham! I feel so…not white!
Wrong, I hate shorts. Preppy people like shorts. I think most shorts make people look unattractive. I would wear a mini skirt instead. I would wear them only if it was over 90 degrees, and it not very often that hot in San Francisco.
I live in Canada and I wear my shorts and Birkenstocks when ever it gets over 10 degrees……… cause shorts are the way to worship the gods of summer
Shorts? C’mon, you can do better than this.
I like shorts because 1) I run and 2) I live in Florida. Trying to survive in Florida without shorts would be difficult.
I’d say I’d run naked if I could, but that would be too much information for a public forum. Also, it wouldn’t be true. We also have fire ants here-shorts provide “critical area protection” against those little hell spawn.
Oh, and white people don’t like fire ants. No one does.
In (dis)honor of Spitzer how about posting “#87: Overpaying for hookers”?
Thank God for this blog otherwise I would have no idea what I should be doing. So when does reading this blog make the list?
How did you get google adsense on your blog? I thought word press doesn’t allow adsense?
http://www.5millionpageviews.com
I love my Birkenstocks so much, I only don’t wear them when it’s raining. If it’s cold, I’ll wear them with thick wool socks.
I love Kurt vonnegut and im black. So that clearly should not make the list! I also love this site! It’s dead on.
“So when does reading this blog make the list?”
Not until “Starting Your Own Blog,” makes the list.
Ooooh, wait thats us.
Took awhile after the NPR interview. I’ve lost a lot of respect for you since you are white
One idea would be music festivals, i’m in austin right now in the midst of sxsw… white people everywhere! even for austin!
“I know who like shorts too… every-body!” -Dr. Nick
#225 – he got ads on this blog by becoming a motherfucking heavy-hitter blogger chuuuuuuuuuuuuch
It is not even warm outside or spring, and Old Nacy has mini shorts and guys shorts posted in their sale flyers!
I can still remember when my family moved to the white, upper middle class neighborhood and my little sister started going to school with mostly white kids for the first time. She’d been struggling, but we hadn’t thought much of it until she tried to run out the door for the school bus in shorts in the middle of February.
I still remember my mother shaking her head wondering what The Man had done to her child
What the hell are “shorts”?
It’s 40 here – spring like. Husband wearing Docker shorts, turtleneck and sweatshirt, white athletic socks and sneakers. What a doofus. And no, just because I am the wife does not mean I can dress him before he leaves the house.
hmmm. didn’t realize this was a nationwide phenomenon. I just thought it was a consequence of living in new england. makes everyone I know crazy, especially about warm weather.
We like short, shorts/
all colours, all styles, all sorts/
But; “Allow me to retort!!!”/
Muthafucka put on some goddamn pants!/
This ain’t the south of France,/
you can’t prance around/
like an extra in the background,/
of a remake of “The Sound of Music.”/
Muthafucka you sick,/
look at your dick/
it hard and you ain’t even horny!/
Oh, and by the way/
shorts above the knees are corny/
and if your gay/
tight ass shorts/
aka ‘batty riders’ are only what a sexy lady sports!/
All the white people on here bitching and complaining about how this blog is racist need to really get over themselves…
You white people slay me..imperialized, colonized, caused World War’s I and II… and got nerve to not have a sense of humor about your fucking selves…
This blog is hi-fucking-larious…and whoever is writing this blog has gotten you nail down to a fucking tee….
…you do wear shorts in the wintertime…I live in NYC and you motherfuckers are always jogging around Central Park in shorts in the goddamn wintertime…with pale ass legs…
You don’t like the blog…”X” marks the spot. Use it.
Subject for further exploration:
1. Money
2. Money
3. Money.
4. Pussy’ if your Democrat (Elliot Spitzer)…And Dick if your Republican…they are always getting caught on some sneaky homo shit….
#239 you are an idiot.
#82, about Che Guevara I’ve been surprised to see how many people who wear shirts with his face don’t have a clue of what his story or ideals were (I should now, I’m from Argentina). All they get is the “Hasta la victoria siempre” slogan which sounds cool, specially if pronounced in Spanish and that’s it. But if you ask them whether they’d rather live in a Communist country they look at you in awe… I guess the combo Evita (the play) + Motorcycle diaries (the movie) created this cool character who has nothing to do with the real fellow.
Who doesn’t use shorts when its warm outside?
I love this! I also love how they add a sweatshirt on top to keep “warm”
this blog stopped being funny a long time ago..
so true….for boys. girls not so much. other than to the gym, i haven’t worn shorts in about 4 years.
Shorts? Really? White people also like shirts, socks, underwear and shoes! Who woulda thought!
yeah..
i’m not quite sure on this one..
Enough with the ‘FLIP-FLOPS’ AWREADY!
Any upper echelon White Person above the level of ‘Redneck-in Training’ had his fill of hearing just the words F**P-F**P during the 2004 Kerry campaign.
It still hurts… deep inside.. way down… way, way down… DEEP–where it’s all pink & gooey… Wha!
Cry-Baby Looser Liberals!
this is so true.. fully maximized everything.. 🙂
My Caucasianness shows through … BIG TIME on this one.
I love to wear shorts. In fact, my favorite time of the year is shorts & sweatshirt weather.
Of course, having the legs to make those shorts look good doesn’t hurt any!
i mos def cut some pants into shorts today to celebrate the seventy degree weather in oklahoma.
Pretending not to be cold is another thing white people are very fond of, especially if they’re from a cold climate.
You are absolutely right, I can’t wait until Spring so I can wear shorts every day!
I too have noticed this phenomenon and wondered about it, but I thought it was a guy thing.
Is it weird that I don’t own shorts? Like, does that invalidate me as a white person? Darn, I had so many White Points saved up, and that luggage set was so close…
I don’t wear shorts on the excessiveley warm days (re: aforementioned white legs problem) But I feel pretty cool and unpredeictable by wearing flip-flops.
guess not.
RE: #181
I am all for Free Speech & one thing i applaud about this Blog is their free-for-all attitude toward ignorant White People that comment here.
But if uptight whitey’s can break out some smack over grammar & spellings & such then I can call you out on your gutless sicko humor.
making fun of undernourished Somali girls is a new low for this Blog.
You can keep on doing what your doing but be aware you are a total scumbag.
One must have “white privilege” in order to truly be recognized as white. If you’re a pale-skin and you don’t have a cushy office job, a prius, and live in a gentrified neighborhood, then you are not white.
Sorry, that’s the way it goes.
There is nothing remotely racist about this blog. White people are a plague on society and all individual culture that must be eliminated immediately. White people are a cultural vacuum, devouring all around them.
WOW# 258-
Bitter much?
#232 are you serious. They get to make money just because they have a lot of views! Dang it!
Does word press make money from this or does it go to the person who writes the blog?
The companion piece to this is “Flip-Flops” right? Cause we all know how much white folks love flip-flops. EVEN WHEN IT RAINS!
Who doesn’t love a piece of clothing that will bring us a little bit closer to a white man’s “junk”?
Am I right ladies???
Yeah.
The shorts/hoodie/flip flop combo comes from summer camp. White people who have been to summer camp, especially in the mountains, where it gets cool at nights have this wardrobe choice etched in their memories.
Summer camp is def. something that white ppl like.
#108 I happen to think white people might have the genetic advantage on this one. After all, aren’t most ancestors from cold-weather countries like Sweden or Great Britain? Hence, for some reason, people with pale skin are able to stand cold weather in the way other races cannot.
Ever heard of eskimos?
i wanna be a guest.
email me clander!!!
jm.cisse.ponty@gmail.com!
This is spot on. At first I was a ‘hater’ but I totally get the blog now. I’m all about the shorts! Comment 44 is right on.
Cargo’s dropped to the knee. worn lose but not as baggie as the ‘homies’ – Quiksilver, Patagonia, Ralph Lauren…
Add in T-shirt (We love ’em) a hoodie – usually grey, again by a premium brand/major college and slaps( Foot thongs/sandals.)
Keep up the good work.
P.S. Don’t forget to post something about white men and expensive watches. Not quite rapper bling but big and bold statement items – We love them as well.
#82, #241 You guys are right about the Che Guevara t-shirt types and stuff.
Most idiot liberal Whites don’t know that “Che” himself was totally White! He was 1/2 Irish and 1/2 White Argentinian (mother was argentinian aristocracy).
I love how we are 86 posts into this blog and we still have people saying “white people love snarky blogs.” Wow, how original are you?
I also like the people who say this blog is racist because you imply that “only white people value grad school.” This blog goes over a lot of heads.
Ten million hits! I wondered when some ads were gonna show up here!
Love this site.
Nailed me good on the shorts. I’ve been known to wear shorts and my sweatshirt when it’s cold out, especially since I live next to the beach. BUT this is mostly a guy thing. See, we are equiped with more body hair than women and therefore able to stand the cold a little more. Our hairy legs act as an instasheild against the cold. Face it were just short of bears. Besides, it feels good to have our junk a little on the cooler side. There’s nothing worse than walking around outside with swampnuts and having our nads float around in our boxers. For the white women in our group, if the tempature drops 1 degree below 75 they are throwing on parka’s and scarves and snowboots.
#91 – yup! especially white canadians who hail from the west indies. like my parents. ok, my mum’s not so white. but my dad is, and the man wears shorts in the snow – hand to god.
#257 Fish Noir:”making fun of undernourished Somali girls is a new low for this Blog.”
Calm down, Fishy. The Somali girls of Minneapolis, and presumably the Webmaster’s Toronto, are nowhere near undernourished. (I would say they’re “cornfed”, but they prefer rice.) Go back and read the joke; you’ll see the Somali girl is the only one NOT being made fun of.
And “undernourished” girl with an iPod. Look at your own assumptions!
Try this one:
Q: Three immigrants, a Chinese programmer, a Mexican auto mechanic, and a dirt-poor Nigerian yam farmer, are taking the American Mensa entrance test. Who gets the highest score?
A: The Nigerian, silly. The test is in English.
Just found your site. Just laughed, a lot, then linked to you. It seems I am not the first to comment here.
Right on!
While doing my Master’s degree in England I wore shorts in November. The following spring I wore them again, this time with a loud t-shirt that said “Surf For World Peace”. I grew up in Los Angeles. I must have felt this weird need to represent.
I was homesick, but still. No degree of homesickness is a good enough excuse for being that much of an asshole.
I apologize to the world community for my unfortunate past as an asshole; for the Year of the Shorts; for the loud t-shirt; and finally for the fake & bake, which was what I did to look less than hideous in the shorts.
Fake & bake (tanning beds, for the uninitiated and not-super-white): another thing white people like. Or used to.
Oh I forgot…black people and asains don’t have hairy legs to protect them from the cold. That’s why they don’t wear shorts in the winter.
fuckin’ flip flops in winter …
i think the fact that your posts have the ability to unnerve white people makes it a rousing success.
I’m an international student who went to school in the U.S. (Michigan). I can attest to everything pointed out in this article. Khaki shorts, college boys, period.
lessee. . .what does wifey like? she’s white as ayell
yoga whole foods hugh grant tofu wine philanthropy funny boxer shorts . .. CHECK
but what else does she like?
heifers inc barack obama weird baby slings uggs natural childbirth flax seeds I’ll have to continue this at another time
white dudes are funny, but white women are fodder for tremendous ridicule.
My former college roommate told me to gauge outdoor temperature by what black people were wearing. She was never wrong.
Okay, so are you going to wrap up this blog anytime soon? The joke is getting more than a little stale.
i would like to suggest oprah. white people love oprah!!
No shorts here for the next months, it’s still snowing every now and then in Iceland, and the temperature is around -2°C, brrrrr 😉
Suggestion for #87:
The ‘Stuff White People Like’ List
Well… 🙂 This may be true… but… Maybe not.
#282 “i would like to suggest oprah. white people love oprah!!”
Yeah, but Oprah loves blacks. Oprah loves showcasing stupid duped fat White women though, and then brings on a “black” financial advisor, or a “black” psychologist to advise them. It’s comical, TV just the opposite of reality? Nah. When is Oprah just going to come out of the closet? Gayle? Hmmmmm…… haven’t seen “Stedman” is a long time!
#272 Try this one: Q: Three immigrants, a Chinese programmer, a Mexican auto mechanic, and a dirt-poor Nigerian yam farmer, are taking the American Mensa entrance test. Who gets the highest score? A: The Nigerian, silly. The test is in English.
Yeah, but he doesn’t pass.
What about wiggers that wear those sheen-like basketball shorts everywhere?
i have been really impressed by how accurate/funny this whole site has been. but i dont think wearing shorts on cold days is widespread enought o realy be included
when will “uggs” appear on this list?
My co-workers (majority of them from the causcasian persuasion) and I believe that you guys should add sandals to #86. I have two white, male co-workers who absolutely LOVE to wear sandals – with socks! – along with shorts when it is 30 below outside!!! So please for us add that to the list!!! Our jobs are boring so it would make for a better conversation at work…..no, seriously.
P.S. Let me know if you need photos!
hahaha, so true! i wore shorts just last week to work, noting i work a clothing store and it was a bet. But i do love shorts! and i am a white boy, at least i’m not a super pale one
STRIP CLUBS
this site early onthis site now
shark
dang it deleted my old school ASCII graphics.
But you can see what I was going for
Okay, i just spoke to one of my co-workers. And he doesn’t wear socks with his sandals. But I have seen it happen tho!
This site’s running out of ideas. The asian site is still pretty fresh:
http://www.stuffasianpeoplelike.net
As a black man, I must say that this site is hilarious. 🙂
Hmmm. I found this entry not as funny than usual. Could SWPL be jumping the shark? Could this be the end of an era?
who the hell do you think you are, cleetus? you sound like one of those self-assured white liberal hipster types that assumes this site isn’t about them. stop embarrassing yourself and go back to fantasizing about ira glass.
We white folks are also wild about kyaks…here in the pacific northwest it is quite common to see a Subaru wagon with a kyak on top, a bike on the back, and several earth-conscious bumper-stickers! Being driven by a shorts-and-tee-shirt-wearing ironic individual who is no doubt also a soccer fan who plays in a co-ed league…we are REALLY white around here!
I wear short shorts, if you dare wear short shorts….
As a white woman, I must say that this site is hilarious.
It’s funny cause it’s true -H. Simpson.
Oh, and PS, thanks for publishing everyone’s comments. They are as funny as your “observations.”
I especially love white people who NEVER stop wearing shorts all year round. They are a tough and rare breed but a group of genius.
on an unrelated note, you guys need to write about both wired and the new yorker as the apex of magazines for white people
White people love using the expression “jumped the shark” and discussing exactly when something has “jumped the shark” and in fact entire websites, message boards, and tequila soaked evenings are devoted to this subject.
Do you know what White People REALLY LOVE? Blogs about white people. That’s the best. And then you can link this blog to your blog and we can all blog together about how white we are in the safety of our warm McMansions in the suburbs! Super! Maybe we can invite our spoiled dogs up on the coach and tell them how totally smart they are. What a good little doggie!
SO TRUE! My favorite is when white girls wear shorts or a skirt with Ugg boots. It’s like they can’t decide what season it is and that maybe if they act like their feet are cold and their legs aren’t, that it’ll balance out and look appropriate.
Conglatulation!… both of your blog, and this post are high ranked in
“The top blogs of the day” report
The great thing about Fonzie is that he was still cool after jumping the shark; I mean, he is a man. . .who jumped a shark! It had no affect on his status whatsoever that Happy Days had, at that point, jumped the shark. Fonzie is about as cool as Kenny Loggins. . . was. Good thing Big K never jumped the shark.
I think Sammy Hagar jumped the shark when he got into the tequila biz. He was cooler than Fonzie’s lil cuz Spike up til that point.
One more thing: Potsy was so cool he could have been a brotha. Member him? Straight illin and wild’n.
PS And that dude Ralph had soul. Put Chachi to shame, really.
I’m a brown person, and I never understood why white people have to wear shorts even when it’s cold outside. One time I heard this one white girl complaining how she was so cold and she was wearing a jacket with tiny little shorts! I wonder why she was so cold! makes no sense to me….
PS to Sam #304. good luck DAing, holmes.
It’s true, I only feel alive when I can wear shorts. My legs tan easily and are well shaped, which is key. Today is my 63rd birthday and I am looking forward to spring and shorts and tees! I remember my son, at his private high school in freezing NE Ohio, found his father’s US Navy uniform khaki shorts from the 1960s, and wore them, frayed bottoms and all, almost every day throughout the winter to school. Flip-flops of various kinds are still his favorite shoes. My 81 yr old brother, a veteran of the US foreign service, still favors shorts, sandals and some sort of Asian short-sleeved top 9 mos of the yr! My husband of 40 yrs thinks he’s died and gone to heaven if he can find red linen DAKS slacks. He thinks blue jeans are cheesy, but loves khaki or white cargo shorts with Topsiders (no socks, please). Our daughter says “hemmed” blue jean shorts are infradig, i.e. we don’t know any one who would wear these. Asian legs and african legs aren’t quite as sexy as well-turned white legs, and white people really aren’t turned on by these others, in all honesty. So shorts are kind of a sex-signal to fellow whites, which is why they like to “flash” them as much of the year as possible.
I find this to be true, I always see white people inappropriately in summer wear in the dead of winter for no reason other than to show that they have “balls”.
Eh, not so great. You’re slipping, dude.
Unfortunately, in the Pacific Northwest, the shorts are often accompanied by Tevas or Birkenstocks and a fleece hoodie, a look so venal it can peel the skin from your eyes.
Listen, I have an Eames chair and a cat and a record collection and a healthy appreciation for whiskey and consider myself an oenophile, a foodie and educated about jazz. I went to art school, I was popular in high school but I hated everyone, and my pants are pretty tight. I wear boots or Chucks. But never, ever would I wear or let any of my friends wear shorts. I mean, maybe if we lived in, like THE SOUTH, but then, I’d drink PBR earnestly and not ironically.
Falling proudly and messily into the “other” kind of white people, I adore this blog and can’t get enough of it. Strangely enough, I never understood my upscale, blue-state kin anymore than most baffled minorities until I read this site.
Thank you for this on 2 levels:
1. Whites in America have no racial identity. White people are either tremendously bothered by this (as in, it leaves a hole in our heart everytime someone says “stay black” or does “the Mexican Handshake” in front of us), or they lie about not being tremendously bothered by this. Being identified ONLY for slavery, oppression, and corporate greed messes with you in a seriously big way.
2. There’s a little white in us all, if only just a bit. Even as a redneck, my Kitchen Aid mixer matches the other crap in my kitchen and I drink from a Nalgene every day to reduce landfill trash.
Forget the haters and people with no introspection or sense of humor. THEY’RE what’s wrong with this country, not you.
who the fuck thinks this is racist? I mean it’s more symptomatic of class than race. I know people who are not white who do a ton of this stuff just because they grew up in the upper middle class with predominantly white people. Honestly if you don’t get it shut the fuck up.
Right on bill
White people like: Smoothies, Northface
Oh yeah…they also like Guitar Hero and telling stories about concert experiences they had
You forgot to mention Cargos.
Snarky and loving it! Thanks for a great read. So many of 1-86 have hit right on the mark…matter of fact, I’m surrounded by people that fit 1-86
Now let me get back to my favorite low brow tv shows and pack of trans fat Hostess cupcakes…
#316 “Being identified ONLY for slavery, oppression, and corporate greed messes with you in a seriously big way.”
You know redneck, perhaps you could do some reading on the “Scots-irish” and pass it on to the next generation? How about teaching your white kids some European history too? some pre-MLK American history? Do you even realize how utterly vast White history is?!!!!!
lol… you have us pegged too well
just earlier today i was talking with a coworker about how ready i was for winter to be over. she agrees, and tells me about how it was so relatively warm (aka 50 degrees) the other day that she had to take advantage and wear shorts!! and i agreed with her and lamented the fact that i didn’t take advantage of the opportunity.
I used to ask my mother if white people had different blood than us. I typically asked this question during the winter when I’d see some crazy Caucausian walking or running around, in the middle of winter with shorts on. Of course my wise and beautiful mother would say “of course not” then then give me a big smile. My mom’s the coolest!
I live in Michigan. Yesterday it got up to 40 degrees! You know I wore shorts. For some reason my legs get hot and I honestly can’t stand when my legs get hot. My shorts quite literally are my best friends.
#174 “There is no excuse for shorts. I don’t care how hot it is.”
Get a job as a landscaper in July, then post another comment after a week of 98 degree days.
I’ve seen this even in the big city. White people will wear shorts with sweatshirts. And if it happens to be no snow, sandals.
It was 50 degrees in Baltimore yesterday so naturally there were tons of white people out riding bikes, most wearing khaki shorts.
“This myth runs so deep that they will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop, at which point they will refuse to recognize that it is cold.”
If that’s not the truest statement I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is. I’ve ALWAYS wondered why white people are always so hot that they need to dress like it’s summer during the winter. It’s a phenomenon that has left me speechless on one too many occasions.
I LOVE SHORTS!!! i wear them as much as possible in order to protest winter…. i also love my REI Jacket that goes alond with my shorts and sandels… its lovely.
You know what else white people like, art cooperatives and/or art fairs showcasing local craftsmen and folk art.
White people love folk art…not too much as to clash with their modern aesthetic, but enough to accent their stainless steel kitchens with something kitchy and warm.
It’s the new kitchen duck.
lol
I’ve lived in the south my whole life where shorts are business as usual. HOWEVER after moving to New Orleans I’ve been subjected to an entire new appendix to this shorts story. Guys down here like to wear really short khakis shorts- we’re talking several inches above the knee. Maybe those extra inches of exposed skin provide extra cooling power…….. It does get awfully hot down here? It’s a very curious phenomena.
Yeah, white people love Che Guevara, but then again they love dictators in general. I can’t even speculate as to why, since in most cases they love foreign dictators far more than the dictators’ own subjects do. I’m not sure how obviously evil a dictator has to be in order to be disliked by white people. Jailing political opponents, banning free speech, and even killing millions of people have so far failed to draw strong dislike from white people toward dictators, with the lone exception of Hitler. Not only do white people have the appropriate amount of dislike for Hitler, but they will compare every single person that they dislike to Hitler, perhaps while wearing a comparable dictator’s t-shirt.
I would like to say it is not true but it is without fail on the coldest days i’ve seen a white guy in shorts.
I still can’t believe people do this.
#311: “Asian legs and african legs aren’t quite as sexy as well-turned white legs, and white people really aren’t turned on by these others, in all honesty. So shorts are kind of a sex-signal to fellow whites, which is why they like to “flash” them as much of the year as possible.”
wait, did no one else catch the ridiculousness of this post or did they just choose to ignore it because old people don’t know what they’re talking about?
famous s/s sickest brand ever!
check out my blog… its both for black and white ppl and sometimes even yellow ppl. lol
http://himynameisadam.wordpress.com/
I can kind of see this but as one poster mentioned, everyone wears shorts. A better topic is the people that cram themselves into a pair of jeans 4 sizes too small…
I’m sure this falls into the same category, but don’t forget “wearing open-toed footwear when it cannot possibly be warm enough to do so”. I live in Idaho and I see people wearing wool hats and Birkenstocks. Or they wear those flip flops that are barely suitable for even the shower. (by “they” I mean me)
Um here we go folks…
I’m going to start the following blog:
http://www.stuffhipstersliketheauthorsofstuffwhitepeoplelike,like.com
Anyone else game?? What might the topics be?? Here I’ll start with the obvious…
1. Satire–Exclusively.
This blog is very, very funny. Some folks take things way too serious.
Just enjoy it for what it is: satire, tongue-in-cheek, just plain hilarious!
Running out of steam a little? So the coloreds don’t wear shorts like fatuous white folks?
Right…so let’s satirize hipsters…it will be funny, right?
It’s a bit more difficult because they make such a damn point of being authentic misfits. But it’s possible…I think…
2. Hipsters enjoy eating sushi (NOTE: the NON-WHITE way)
3. Mr. Rogers sweaters
4. Rectangular glasses
Do people not get this stuff? It is a joke people. It is poking fun of the yuppie hipsters that think they are different. This points out that we all know their game and that they are not as original as they think they are. Have fun with it people. This isnt a race thing. Get over it.
5. Smugness
I went to school with a guy who wore khaki shorts all year round. In New England, in January. Sometimes he accentuated the look by carrying a squash racquet with him as well. I think he may have been beaten senseless at some point.
6. Voting independent
6. Recognizing they share SOME (sometimes many) similarites with what WWPL, but knowing deep down their interest is truly authentic.
Hey I’m just having fun too here!!!
7. Either highly original hairstyles or deliberately mundane hairstyles—both achieve the intended purpose. (*in many cases the latter styles paradoxically achieve and even more dramatic, hipster effect).
I confess I am curious about the whole shorts thing. I’m black and I admit I have seen guys outside in like 20 degree weather or one random day in winter when it’s suddenly nice out and I’m like, dude….it’s still winter.
8. Brazen advocates of free speech yet subtle loathers of self critique (i.e. disabling links of dissenters).
Ok I’m going to peace out before I get kicked out! Muuuhhhhh………….
OMG, this one is so true. White people love to break out the shorts when the thermostat hits 50 degrees. I’ve seen it happen!
I’m puertorican.. No shorts for me until the temperature hits 70!
what about flip flops?
or that doesn’t count because that’s a year round fashion statement? 😉
I live in So cal. When my parents(who are Chinese ) came here visiting me in March, they gasped seeing white guys only have shortsleeves and shorts on because they were wearing two pants, a sweater and a windbreaker !
My god, you get a lot of comments! Funny blog!
Holy crap, d. I missed that.
If shorts are a sex signal to other whites, then … no, forget ‘if’. They’re not. Shorts are like the kick-me sign for fashion-challenged whites.
Here’s the thing: nonwhites have a tan year-round. Whitey here does not. Any discussion of shorts and sex appeal really ought to end there. I think the NBA is the only reason shorts still exist as a viable clothing item … and we know how many hot white guys you’ll find in the NBA.
that’s true..white people are crazy.
It may be forty below, but it’s march 12… that makes it d@mn near summer! Time to bust out the khaki shorts and go for a run!
white people wearing shorts in the winter is the only universal i can think of.
True!
I’ve studied white people for many years, and this was one of my first observations. The results have been consistent. White people can’t wait to wear shorts!
I am white, it is March and I have already worn my Abercrombie & Fitch cargo shorts and flip flops twice. Summer is here! LOL
It seriously wont make spring come sooner? Damn! I am sick of winter I want to enjoy the outdoors in my “Outdoor Performance Clothes”!!
LOL
Bang on with this one. I didn’t really notice it until I moved from the city to a smaller, college town. What’s with White folks and shorts all year round? As a person built for tropical weather, I don’t think shorts are appropriate until it hits at least 27 degrees celsius.
Let’s do air for a topic. I mean, you’ve covered everything else right? I mean public swimming pools? White people? Have you ever been to a reasonably sized city’s public pool?
Anyways, back on topic. The only problem with white=shorts is that when black people wear shorts, they really just look like slightly short, super baggy jeans, with what couldn’t be their entire ass hanging out the back…but it must be their ass because they can’t walk correctly because one hand is permanently holding them up.
I never wear shorts, that is so like totally anathema to “goth”. I think I’m still very white (checks skin) . Yeh, I’m still glow in the dark white. But, I don’t like shorts, don’t know what “the wire” is,(or that Goudry guy) don’t bother with bottled water, or fancy furniture, or the biking outfits and a lot of stuff on here? I swear, you people really further the cause of White neurosis.
I know these people exist, where I live is full of them, but where did they come from? I don’t remember all this crap always being “stuff WP liked”. Hmmm Something must be done.. I know what I have to do now. I have to cure those White people of buying into all that BS. Yes, that’s what I must do. I must create a super-race of non shorts-wearing, non-bottled-water drinking, etc., ect. Those kind of White people must be stopped.
this may just be in the south, but WP love cut off Duck Head khakis… i think they buy them new and immediately cut them off…
iris u so stupid
thank’s
Thank you! I always wondered why white people wear shorts, even though it’s like 35 degrees! Too funny!
I am one of those “shorts people”. Last year I wore long pants only three times between April 15 (when I got home from skiing all winter) and Halloween.
when i met my husband (yes ‘white’ like me but we’re beach people, no white legs) over 25 years ago, he didn’t own any long pants. he’d wear shorts and a winter coat which i thought was really funny. but it was practical. we hike and ride bikes all the time and long pants can get in the way. when our son was 10 and i brought him back east in april (snow flurries) he didn’t own any long pants to bring and didn’t want any when i offered to buy them. same kinda guy. you’ll even see me running around on the beach in a bikini in the rain. yea, maximizing….
I just read your latest blog about shorts and white people and have my own 50 cents to put in: We had one WHITE UG student in Aerospace Engineering running around in shorts EVERY DAY. I don’t know how familiar you are with Cleveland weather but there are days when it is about 15F (not including wind chill). This dude only walked around in shorts and sneakers. One day he came in with regular pants and practically the whole department is on him wondering what happened to his shorts. His answer? “I gave my shorts up for lent!”. The day lent was over he was back in his beloved shorts! That story still cracks me up to this day and I thought it fit nicely with your theme for today.
I love the white people getting offended. Now you folks know how it feels. YOUR race is being made a mockery of for once.
Being a ‘white person’ I suppose my personal obsession with shorts must be natural. However, I tend to prefer them on a slightly more practical level- if it is warm, I wear shorts. Indoors, I wear shorts. I grew up just liking shorts. Even in my college, where shorts were not as popular, if I could wear them I would. My Wife never wears shorts- she only wears jeans most of the time for casual-wear. I just don’t get it. Why stay hot? Of course, we live in the South, where even in February it’s gotten into the high 70’s, so…
One downside of being where we are in the South, is that in the Summer when you should wear shorts, if you are planning to go to the movies or be indoors much, you had better wear jeans and bring a slight jacket along. The air conditioning is usually high enough to give you muscle cramps in your legs without long pants!
Don’t forget your Rainbow flip flops!
LOL! I just commented on this at church a couple of weeks ago. The temperature dropped following an unusually warm winter day, but the short-wearers were stubborn. My wife and I watched them shiver while outfitted in their standard shorts, sandals, and performance fleeces as they crossed the parking lot. We wondered if we were the crazy ones for wearing jackets with the temp in the low 40’s…turns out we weren’t.
Here in Canada, this phenomenon only occurs among white MALES. Many white females seem to have developed a gene that allows them to suppress the urge to maximize the use of their shorts. However, in some cases, the white female will buckle under the stress of not being able to wear anything remotely attractive for months at a time, will cave and wear a short skirt and 3/4 tights instead (white women love 3/4 tights). If the weather is warm enough, she will do it again. And again. And again, until the the weather becomes very cold once more, at which point she will try to wear the skirt regardless of sub zero temperatures, but she will complain bitterly of the cold and then resume her normal garb of jeans and long underwear the following day.
I rarely wear shorts, but then again I’m not a pompous yuppie.
I live in Arizona where it doesn’t get that cold so I wear shorts alot. It also doesn’t hurt that I am fat and they just happen to be more comfortable.
Haha, this is one of the blog posts I find to be most true. I think, also, it should cause the least controversy and receive the most acceptance as it seems to have nothing to do with status or class but just some strange propensity among whites of all backgrounds for wearing shorts.
I live in Argentina, Buenos Aires, and I work near Florida (microcentro)[1], wich is a heavy tourist zone. And I can swear, in all honesty and with complete peace of mind, that I have NEVER seen a white tourist from the US who was not in kaki cargo shorts and sandals. The only detail is that old people add white socks to the mix.
They usually also sport their tourist maps, the kind that you unfold and ends up being 75cm x 75cm wide, which, to me, is the equivalent of having a sign on your back saying “Come and rob me”. And man, are they pale. They are so white, they inevitably stand out in the crowd. Blonde hair and blue eyes are a rare sight here. They’re also very tall, compared to the average Argentine. I’d say the average here is around 1,73m, and these tourists all seem to be 1,85m and up.
The surreal thing about Florida is that it’s specifically designed for them; everything is so artificial and contrived. Every shop has “bilingual” broken english/spanish signs… There are Argentina this and Argentina that souvenirs everywhere, specially mates[2] and all sort of regional stuff… A lot of leather shops… And also, every record store here plays tango through the store speakers – I hate that the most. NOBODY listens to tango here. Just a few old people, and, well… white tourists 😛
[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_Street
[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mate_%28beverage%29
I forgot! Regarding tango, there are two trends you can hear while walking down Florida: normal tango, and the electronic/tango fusion crap started by Gotan Project[1], wich later spawned local representatives of the genre[2].
[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gotan_Project
[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bajofondo_Tango_Club
Astrology.
White people love them some astrology. Maybe that is why in EVERY magazine and in EVERY newspaper there is an astrology section and there are about 400 million websites dedicated to learning about it.
UtiliKilts, anyone?
BTW – I think 311 may be nuts.
Do wear shorts in Asia, specially in the summer. Don’t ever try and wear long jeans in 42celcius with 80-90% humidity.
I swear you will die.
Like such as…
“Be more funny!!!!”
white lesbians love the shorts too, especially the faded denim ones in the shape of mom jeans but in shorts, preferably knee length with some teva’s and wool socks and dangly feather earrings!
lol you guys must be in Chicago
i love shorts, my ultra white dad loves shorts also. particuarly “jorts”-jean shorts. White jean shorts, black jean shorts, standard blue denim shorts. always with his white socks and black tennis shoes.
Not that anyone’s going to read this comment, but I’ll give it a shot:
If it’s the middle of winter and you see someone wearing shorts, it’s 99.999% certain that it’ll be a white guy…
I have a few white friends like that..I always tell them they’ll catch their death wearing shorts when it’s like 30 degrees. Of course they hardly ever get sick..while I’m constantly battling colds. Blah…
I’m still waiting on you guys to talk about Fraiser lol.
white people like self-righteousness
Don’t listen to the “racist-sayers” This site is pro-white people, not anti-everyone else. And its humorously true to boot! Its nice to realize all the secret things that I used to use to make myself superior are actually what all white people do. I think this site has improved my self-realization, which is another thing that white people love to achieve.
Oh man, white people love shorts in sub 50 degree weather.
i like windsurfing, if you don’t you are a wuss or a pathetic lethargic fool destined to become just one more face among the sea of helplessly obese assholes throughout the united states. although its pretty easy to bash on windsurfing, those wind craving whipping willows
this is SO me….
white people wear shorts – UNLESS u are a white female living in LA (and its not the super short current trendy kind – note: always worn with ugly boots. ooo, ugs would be a good topic for this blog, although they might be “out” by now)
The whitest of the white look:
-Khaki shorts
-Tiva sandals
-Button-down shirt neatly tucked into shorts
In Cali you would’nt be caught dead without BOARD SHORTS.Even if you don’t surf.
yeah, shorts suck.
I live in Oregon, and this is so true…people start washing thier cars the second it stops raining. Too funny
Hahaha… Shorts… The insightful part was how, incidentally, some peoples “like to maximize opportunities for all that they are worth,” or exploitation. Anyone who has bothered to learn about U.S. history should know this well enough. The biggest and most important example is the foundation of America, which was administered by the industrious Europeans’ exploitation of Africans. Likewise, the more significant and guided employment of the childhood tendency to believe elders(religion) and the development of better killing technology (civilization, etc.) was made possible by even earlier domesticated (enslaved) animals and plants. Religion’s liars contrived justifications for this and suppressed the opinions of those who thought it was not right. Just like today’s systems (advertising, rap videos, Fox News, etc.) of crafting fools, the early practitioners knew that in order to maximize the likelihood of success, you have to start almost at birth in the formation of unquestionable and “sacred” habits of thought. Even more critically, the maximization of stupidity must be perpetuated to include larger and larger numbers of people over time as the descendants of the original thought benders became greedier and started to actually believe their own lies, either from having to constantly repeat slogans to their subjects or the inevitable feedback through the generations. The founders of this particular way of capitalizing on ignorance have long been dead and could not explain to the current Pope that he is a supreme fool for not knowing why thinking birth control and abortion and distributing condoms in AIDS plauged regions of Africa is a product of the religious program of propagating the lies and maximizing the wealth of the few at the top (God) with ever more slaves. Note that darker skinned peoples have always been those that were less capable of violence (of course we have to include mechanized violence, don’t try to 9/11 your way out of this); possibly because they hadn’t formed myths nearly as virulent and permissive of self-righteousness as the European religions I don’t need to name.
So… he is right, humans are natural maximizers, with Europeans leading the way to humanity’s eventual self-destruction, which, of course, has already been justified and some groups of fools already anticipate it’s “coming” with a yearning like that of a slave for freedom.
Agree with 386. Utilikilts are great and more comfortable than shorts. Back in the 70s & 80s chicks wore shorts all year around too. That was before jeans became a uniform.
I love daisy duke shorts. Let my camel-toe hangout.
80’s spandex is my favorite!
favorite game: Nude Twister with a strobe light
White people like shorts, yeah… you know what else they like? White people totally like oxygen, and um, they’re goofy for talking to other people, and they like to live indoors.
too funny!
Sorry I think this is the weakest entry ever.
I think frisbee’s or a hackey sack usually also come out with the shorts. 🙂
My sister just returned from Spain where she decided to don shorts on an exceptionally warm March day. While walking down the street an old Spanish lady sporting a thick winter jacket stopped in the middle of the side-walk to point and laugh hysterically at my sister, the tacky white tourist.
Upon recounting hearing this story, embellishment on the supposed rudeness of this particular Spaniard, I was sure to comment:”Danielle, you are just so white”.
HILARIOUS! That’s Minnesota all day long! If it’s 34 degrees & sunny any day December-February, I guarantee you will see the trusty ol’ shorts come out!
Oh my Gawd- my husband is wearing shorts right now..and sitting by the fire! But I have to give him a pass- we live in So Cal and were both born here. He wears shorts 360 days a year but I do..not. Women over the age of 21 look like crap in shorts- skirts are classier. They just are.
Up here in Boston, especially around the universities, you’ll see white guys, never girls, in shorts in the winter. I want to walk up to them and say, “You know you’re cold, put some clothes on!” It’s a white thing, I don’t understand.
On and on and on is how the beat goes
So sell the british walkers and cut the afros
And dance till the feeling is gone in your toes
I wear shorts in the summer, timberlands when it snows
I have definitely been known to bust out the shorts when the white stuff has still been on the ground.
As soon as it hits 8 degrees (celsius), I will bust those bad boys out.
White people are also secretly disappointed if they’re not the first person to wear shorts after winter.
The Ivy League version includes a belt with whales on it. The female version of this is a short skirt paired with those horrific Ugg boots.
Look here…
This site is mediocre at best. It is mildly entertaining. Half of the items on this list are garbage. The effort and thought put into this list is pretty embarrassing.
if you want some actual funny entertainment/blog/writing/insightful/great stuff
http://www.garbarrassing.com
go for it.
my brother. totally. and he’s asian.
they’re use to it something about European genetics
is there a post on flip flops as well? same idea as the shorts thing, except flip flops. when i lived in DC, you could that spring had sprung by tell by all the yuppies commuting to work in suits and FLIP FLOPS (i kid you not).
flip flops at the first sunshine that cracks through the dingy winter… SO white!
I’m glad to see that Australia isn’t the only nation with this phenomenon. My time in primary school mainly consisted of being asked why I wasn’t wearing shorts. Well the answer to that question is: Because a 20 degree (celsius) day with showers does not constitute the wearing of anything above the knee!
Yo Clander – you forgot one huge thing white people love:
G U N S !!!!!!!!
White people love to blow shit up. I hate hunting animals but people, thats another story. Show me a fucked up arab or communist bastard and I’ll shoot em’.
“Remember Guns don’t kill people, I do.”
LTTP, but one quick comment:
#53: “If its warm enough for shorts, isn’t it too hot for a sweatshirt?”
Not always. Some people (like myself) get cold arms pretty easily, but not cold legs or feet. Can’t explain why; that’s just how it is.
Funny site!
I used to go to Queen’s University, and the white ppl would wear shorts on the 1st day it was above zero, no matter how cold it actually still was.
I also suggest puffy vests as something white ppl love (usually paired with a long-sleeved ‘thermal top’)
Time to shut this site down!
Here in Colorado it doesn’t even need to be slightly warm for people to rock shorts and sandles. Any weather is shorts weather for some.
You should have mentioned that fat white guys especially love shorts. All year round. Their junk must get super hot, or something.
yeah….i never understood why white people wear shorts when it’s soooo cold outside. i’m from a warm place and i love shorts too, but only when it’s warm outside…otherwise i’m in jeans or my beloved sweat pants. why do white people have to wear short when it’s cold? don’t worry the sun and warm weather will come out soon….patience is a virtue.
Canada certainly would be a better country without whites. Just think what they did to the native indians. I guess we could deport them back to England.
“It is a known fact that white people believe that they can bring spring early by wearing a pair of shorts on any day that is above seasonal temperatures. This myth runs so deep that they will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop, at which point they will refuse to recognize that it is cold.”
Au contraire, we don’t acknowledge cold. That is for women and the inferior races.
Ever notice that Mexican immigrants (legal or not) almost NEVER wear shorts? What are they ashamed of?
Clander understands me perfectly.
I love you Clander!
I have had this conversation with my husband. You see, he is white and I am black. One day, when back when we were dating we were talking about stereotypes of all sorts of folks. I told him that white men will wear shorts in the winter time whenever they think it might be a little bit warm and that you will never see a black person do that until it is about 80 degrees. He insisted I was wrong. He said that he had never seen that. Then of course, as if on cue a white man wearing shorts walked past our car. It was February.
Wow….holy crap!!! SHORTS!!! you never see other people wearing those!
C’mon douchebag…this is retarded.
“I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to go windsurfing.”
WTF?!?!
Like that’s not gonna arouse suspicion — a black guy claiming he knows how to swim?
Ha Ha…shorts…
i love shorts
This must be a Northern thing. I live in Las Vegas where it’s sunny all year round. Can’t relate.
Yup! It’s true i’m wearing shorts right now and it’s freezing outside! Awesome
862now wrote: “I live in California, so shorts work all year long.”
You must not live in San Francisco where it’ll be dead-ass cold in July.
I can’t believe this entry wasn’t #1. White dudes (yes, mainly men) LOVE rockin’ shorts when there’s any hint of sun, regardless of the temperature.
Ha ha, I do the same thing!!!!
im pretty sure black people like shorts way more than white people.
or has this been addressed.
Yeah I have a couple of 40+ year old idiot buddies who wear shorts 10 months out of the year. And for the two months where they can’t get away with it without looking like a complete idiot for wearing shorts in ankle deep snow they just stay inside all the time. One of them is mistakenly under the impression that “women admire me for my muscular legs” when in fact women look at him and wonder if he is completely insane for wearing shorts in February. And not just shorts but some form of overstuffed large warming performance wear top to over-compensate for the amount of body heat lost from wearing shorts on a day when it is 20 degrees and threatening to snow. Nobody wants to see anybody wearing shorts in March unless they are in the Final Four or one of the hot chicks from “Survivor” anywa, but year in year out there’s a couple of bozos whom I know that are so attached to having their legs exposed that seeing them in actual pants that go all the way down to the ankle takes you by surprise. I often wonder if perhaps they weren’t influenced by those old Italian Sword & Sandal Peplum movies where the guys all run around in tunics like Freddy Mercury from Queen’s 1976 world tour … which raises the further question of whether or not maybe they are actually gay and wearing the shorts to display their masculinity to their admiring compadres rather than mistakenly deluded into thinking that 20 year old college women are wondering what they look like naked. Eww.
It’s the last vestige of natural selection in the modern world.
So, so true… in Seattle, the sun doesn’t even have to be shining for white people to bust out the shorts. Of course, the shorts must be paired with Tevas/Birkenstocks/Chacos, etc + wool hiking socks, as well as a fleece jacket (preferably from REI, Patagonia, or Mountain Hardware). Carrying around a hacky-sack in your pocket (you know, just in case) isn’t a bad accessory, either.
HAHAHAHAHA! This is such a midwesterner moves to california thing!
This post would be funnier if it made fun of white people wearing shorts while on vaction to places where people don’t really wear shorts (such as Paris). I wore shorts on a tour of Versaille once with a bunch of old french ladies who probably thought low of me for wearing such short shorts – but it was 85 degrees out! I’d rather me comfortable than in way too much clothing for the weather and whinning about it being hot all day.
My aunt asked me not to wear shorts that day knowing about this french custom of not really wearing shorts, but I insisted, so you could make fun of white people for not accepting others customs in the same post too.
I wore shorts all winter here in Atlanta. People at work and my wife thought I was crazy. I’m black too but I love shorts. Didn’t get one cold this winter but I think it had more to do with me washing my hands 5 times a day minimum.
I’m from Buffalo NY so I can deal with it.
You need to add surfing, body surfing, boogie boarding etc.
Also expensive flip-flops that are ultra thin.
I would have to say white people usually have more attractive legs then other darker varieties of people. I have noticed darker people often times have numerous marks (often insect bite marks) and other odd discolorations. White people take pride in the consistency and texture of their legs. 🙂 This is dumb but true.
It used to be that you could determine the true change of seasons when you witnessed The First Gay of Spring. This was the predictable gay man wearing shorts and a sweater on the first day above 50 degrees. Now white people are running all over in shorts at 45 degrees here in Minnesota. Another great example of white people co-opting other cultures and calling it their own. Darn white people.
Right on! My brother-in-law wears shorts EVERY DAY – to work, to movies, on dates. I have only seen him in pants for dress events like weddings or formal parties. When someone invents the “Formal Short” he’ll be in those, too.
why wouldn’t you wear shorts?
They’re really running out of stuff to write about now. I mean Shorts?
in order for satire to be funny it should have an element of truth to it, it has to “bite” at some point. Now this site is just listing things- anything.
Hey Whit epeople like phones!
White people like to eat- Oh my how contrived of them to actually like to eat!!” I bet they like to bath, drive , cars, breath, blink, empty their bowels, etc..
Some of the entries in here are GREAT, but it’s time to end this thing if this is the best you ve got.
What’s with some people?
We moved up North and I have seen men, women and even kids dressed in hoodies, sweat shirts or heavy coats and wearing shorts, sneakers with no socks.
I told my wife, “There is a damn fool! No clue it’s 28º outside.” And there is 8 inches of snow to boot!
Oh yeah, they act like “Well, I’m not cold. I’m stylish.”
Note to these dumb asses: If it’s cold enough for a coat, it’s cold enough for long pants and socks!
If they catch a death of cold I shan’t wonder.
LOL is think this should be changed to short shorts…shorts above the knee and higher…in TX we call ’em nuthuggers
This is the wittiest blog I’ve come across. I plan on reading the lot… Please keep it up!
They must be perfectly distressed plain front kahki shorts, slightly wrinkled but not too much. They should be frayed at the edges, but any long strings should be cut off. They should be paired with a slightly wrinkled long-sleeve all-cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up. You want to look like you just threw something on and look fabulously casual without really trying hard, even though you did.
whenever i see this (which is ALL the time)… my typical response is “its freezing! its too cold for shorts! put some clothes on!” but i’m not realizing that that’s probably not the right response, is it?
Just make sure not to wear them with those ugly Teva sandals!
I’ve got white legs and obsessively wear sunscreen. Pale will come into fashion at some point!
I’m the crazy woman wearing shorts with pockets I’ve never used and a sweater/sweatshirt when it gets over 40. I love shorts. 🙂
Flip Flops…you cannot forget to add that wp love flip flops. The first warm day you cannot walk into the metro without seeing a dozen pair…
Ain’t nothing wrong with Teva’s. I got a pair of Karnali Wraptors on right now. Damn right i’m white.
Are you kidding me? You should not be allowed to post anywhere.
Tevas with socks. Can’t let our pasty feet burn.
Hippies used to love pants, and their white. But I think that they might have moved on to those really long euro-style shorts.
I’m very white, but I prefer pants most of the time, frequently Carharrts, to cultivate that I’m-ready-for-anything type of white-guy look. But when I work out, I wear very short running shorts.
The person who posts these things is a fucking idiot. He contributes nothing to society and tries to provide a sorry laugh for entertainment, and to try and make himself feel better.
the high five is so true
I agree with some of the above comments. The “wrong” white people wear shorts. The “white people” this blog talks about wear jeans, 24/7, minus the occasional mandatory formal or sporting event (even then, they often try). This includes but is not limited to: class, church, the beach, nightclubs, fancy dinners, 100 degree weather, -20 degree weather, frat parties, and art museums.
I missed the white people memo about mandatory jean uniforms.
GOD I WISH I WAS BLACK, THEY ALWAYS LOOK TAN, IN SHORTS
NOT US PASTY WHITE CELLULITED WHITE PEOPLE LEGS, CAn’t SEE THE CELLULITE THAT MUCH, WHEN YOUR BLACK.
oh to be black………
Ahahahahhahaha! It is so funny to see all of the white people on this comment section getting their designer undies in a wad because of a satirical site about “WHITE PEOPLE”. You just can’t stand to hear someone make fun of Whites, but you are the first to talk shit about another race.
This site has white people pegged! I am so happy that everyone and their brother worldwide are reading this. Everyone knows it is so true.
Frank Johnson, you must live in an all WHITE community or town. Dumb observation. And not true.
Forget the white people legs. Why white people like to show their nudity? In Seattle, I always see white people in nude in either discovery park or in Madison beach. San Fran nude 5K run or Fremont summer solistice also feature nude white people. Can you please blog about this.
There’s nothing wrong with wearing shorts when it’s snowing. Harden up. To reinforce the stereotype, shorts are better (than jeans 10 sizes too big) for outdooorsy stuff. Especially if they’re made from some high-tech fabric.
BTW good observation re: google adsense ads. I hope you’re making a packet out of this site.
the faux anthropological tone is WAY WAY older than Chappelle, btw, though his version was outstanding … the old James Thurber E.B. White collaboration “Is Sex Necessary?” comes to mind, though it wasn’t about ‘white people’ per se. I bet the ancient Greeks and Egyptians had satirical histories …
white people love to correct other people and make vague historical references to back them up 😉
I always wondered what was up with white folks in shorts and sandals in the middle of winter. A few times I have asked folks if they were not freezing and why they always wore shorts. 9 times out of 10, they’d always say “oh my legs don’t get cold.” Is this true? Is there something anatomically different that makes some white people’s legs not get cold??? I find this intriguing.
What about varicose veins, freckles, and general paleness? I don’t think we can say that your statement is true, but I think we can all agree that it is dumb.
McCain hates shorts.
I’m white, and I wear flip-flops in the winter! Shorts, not so much, but I am old. Old, old, old. I have seen the future, and it is Old…
White people in shorts: a cruel perversion
you’r nuts haaahahaahaaa
I guess these nazis are upset with your portrayal of White people:
http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?p=5301911&posted=1#post5301911
Living in a large college town I see white people do some strange things. They never put their hoods up on their heads in rain or snow, they wear flip flops in freezing weather, and
t-shirts and shorts even when their other white friends have coats and hats on.
One other thing are white people allowed to by winter hats?
Africa for Africans, Asia for Asians, White Countries for Everybody
“Liberals and respectable conservatives say there is this RACE problem. Everybody says this RACE problem will be solved when the third world pours into EVERY white country and ONLY into white countries.”
“The Netherlands and Belgium are more crowded than Japan or Taiwan, but nobody says Japan or Taiwan will solve this RACE problem by bringing in millions of third worlders and quote assimilating unquote with them.”
“Everybody says the final solution to this RACE problem is for EVERY white country and ONLY white countries to “assimilate,” i.e., intermarry, with all those non-whites.”
“What if I said there was this RACE problem and this RACE problem would be solved only if hundreds of millions of non-blacks were brought into EVERY black country and ONLY into black countries?”
“How long would it take anyone to realize I’m not talking about a RACE problem. I am talking about the final solution to the BLACK problem?”
“And how long would it take any sane black man to notice this and what kind of psycho black man wouldn’t object to this?”
“But if I tell that obvious truth about the ongoing program of genocide against my race, the white race, Liberals and respectable conservatives agree that I am a naziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews.”
“They say they are anti-racist. What they are is anti-white.”
“Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white.”
“borderline absurd”…THANK YOU!!!
Please people, stop taking yourselves/others so seriously.
This is meant for a laugh and clearly, the “Politically Correct” brainwashed segment of our population is here in full force.
I actually heard someone whisper this at my work…
“He’s from, you know, {Mexico}”. Super Hushed Voice.
And I said, “Really, I think that means he’s —MEXICAN. It’s not a bad thing to say, it’s geographically correct”.
Political correctness is just another from of censorship.
Love this site and its “irreverence”.
shud·der
–verb (used without object) 1. to tremble with a sudden convulsive movement, as from horror, fear, or cold.
–noun 2. a convulsive movement of the body, as from horror, fear, or cold.
shut-ter
–noun 1. a solid or louvered movable cover for a window.
2. a movable cover, slide, etc., for an opening.
3. a person or thing that shuts.
Ryan was right…your grammatical skills make me shudder, too.
I hope English isn’t your first language.
I totally agree with Iris…I am totaly offened by this site. I am a white female who has lived in the south all my life. I don’t drink coffee..I do dance at concerts…I’ve never been to a film festival…I don’t eat organic food….i have to say that if I was to start a site called “What Black People Like” I would be called a racist before anyone even read what was posted. I wish I would have never heard about this site….
Wow, that is a lot to say for the simple fact that the reason white ppl wear shorts is so that they are not so white, duh.
I don’t know about all of that but one thing I know for sure is whatever color you may be you certainly will like this:
http://lmc023.cqcintl.hop.clickbank.net/
i am black and i think this site is hilarious! my brother “acts white” and he often wears shorts in the winter.
I’ve got stuff white people would like,like using the N-word amongst friends.
http://tonalddrump.wordpress.com/
Niggas aint shit but hoes and pimps.
http://tonalddrump.wordpress.com/
I am Puetorican too, from the planet Pueto,ok ok so it’s considered a mini-planet now,sew wat?!?
As if!
http://tonalddrump.wordpress.com/
you know my steez.
Funny,
I am a black female so I hope this doesn’t offend my brothers and sisters, but I for one am glad that white people love to wear shorts …. especially the guys!
That’s because IMHO white men have the best legs in the world ! I said IMHO when actually it’s a fact. Many dispute me when I say this until I put them to the test.
Go outside in Midtown Manhattan in warm weather and watch the swarms of humanity … look at the variety of legs (specifically calves) and then tell me who has the best legs!
White women have good legs too but the guys legs are better than theirs …. LOL
Weird, wild stuff!
To be fair, God gave black men better tushes!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
SHORT SHORTY SHORTS. THE SHORTER THE BETTER AND DON’T FORGET FLIP-FLOPS.
There is actually a site call “Stuff Educated Black People Like”, and being an educated Black person I think both sites are really funny.
http://stuffebplike.com/
Ok, I lost white points on that because I don’t think any male over eight years old should be wearing shorts.
I am getting a chuckle out of this post. My son and I just had this discussion as I bundled him up a couple of weeks ago. He was like these white kids come to school in shorts and it was freezing outside. I reasoned that since most came from cold climates genetically cold weather may be 2nd nature.
I hate seeing their…’toes’. *shudder*
LOL @ this post. I am black and I cringe when black people do this. How/why do you say people ‘is’???
People have already mentioned the flip flops, but I personally love all the white people who cling to summer with the flip flops, but then throw on a wool coat or hat to keep warm. Talk about a fashionable combo!
I’m white and I love to wear shorts. I would where them to the office if they would let me.
I was spending time in Greece and a cab driver asked me why Americans, Germans, and Japanese wear shirts. To him it was unmannly and a gross violation of mannly wear. I have noticed in the middle east and Africa that man never wear shirts. My shirt junts into Mexico also have revealed that men don’t wear shorts. On the other hand, in the US, it seems that more affluent people enjoy shorts as well as those who are into sports which can include either gender or any race. But there is a split between white folks and black folks in the style of shorts, for example Polo vs. Sean John. I believe whites feel privildged whites feel very uncomfortable in log shorts and would prefer to remain in the old fashioned tennis style shirts. I know I do!
I was spending time in Greece and a cab driver asked me why Americans, Germans, and Japanese wear shorts. To him it was unmannly and a gross violation of manliness to wear shorts even though it was about 90 degrees. I have noticed in the middle east and Africa that men never wear shorts. My short jaunts into Mexico also have revealed that men don’t wear shorts. On the other hand, in the US, it seems that more affluent people enjoy shorts as well as those who are into sports which can include either gender or any race. But there is a split between white folks and black folks in the style of shorts, for example Polo vs. Sean John. I believe priviliged whites feel very uncomfortable in long shorts (we actually loathe them) and would prefer to remain in the old fashioned tennis style shorts. I know I do! (now the previous comments make a bit more sense 🙂
I had to rewrite my blog because like many white privileged people, I was talking on the phone when I wrote my first blog entry.
C’est la vie
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Truth, Justice, and Equality?
http://www.survival-international.org
BEG, I can think of women who do: Athletic white girls—those who obviously play college sports, based on their T-shirt logos—do indeed go out shopping (at Target) in shorts and flip flops no matter the weather.
No. Actually, when it’s really cold, they wear pajama pants. Explain that, please?
Burnside: totally wrong about cargo shorts, the only problem tying to find a store that sells anything but those.
I live in Texas. And I’m white. There are two days when I should not be in shorts during the winter. The remainder of the 365.25 days of the year I am either in shorts or a banana hammock.
more me
I co-sign that Roise
hilarious!
One time I got “golf shorts” I felt too white and weird. Stay away from these shorts, I implore you.
it is a proven fact that if you live in cleveland, wearing shorts on the one freak 60 degree day in february means only six more weeks of winter.
Word.
But just so you know, this blog isn’t really about white people in general. It should be titled: “Stuff Yuppies Like.” This list has no relation to what the majority of white Americans like. But you’re right, it is strangely endearing.
Geez Joan, lighten up. Can’t you see that most of the white folks here aren’t taking themselves too seriously. Every race or subculture within their racial group have some common traits or habits that are worth pointing out and discussing. Its really not a “my race is better than your race” kind of thing. Its more of a “my race does some funny things, let’s examine them and talk about it and find the hidden meaning”. I guess some readers here take offense to having certain things put under the microscope. I like big shorts, antiques, coffee, ice hockey, and micro brews. I live in New Hampshire and don’t have many friends of color because demographically speaking, we are a pigmented challenged bunch by and large. Of course being white in NH, I had to compensate by marrying a nice Asian woman, so I’m currently at peace with my whiteness!
I HATE when people do that
Wow. This is me.
I wear shorts in autumn and early spring. With flip flops. I have a superstitous belief that this will make the weather warmer.
I’m half-white, and I really don’t like shorts.
I won’t even wear shorts, not only because my legs are whiter than anyone in America but they are also the ugliest in the world. While I am thin, my legs look like upside down carrot sticks…absolutely no shape whatsoever. Just white and ugly. Good thing I have big boobs! (of course I still wouldn’t wear shorts-maybe after a few margaritas I might wear capris but it’s not likely).
I live in Texas so this is a big problem not wearing shorts. Self tanner, ewwww, smells like fly spray. Can’t recommend it. Not gonna happen.
Since I’m over 40 we used to call flip flops “thongs”. My daughters quickly put a screaching hault to that!
I’m very white and use public transportation every day even though I have my own nice car as do all the drivers in my family (naturally-being white we all have to have our own cars).
Can’t wear shorts though….I might be mistaken for a whitey.
Ha, I’m only half white, and I live near Akron, and I do that. Actually, that one day in February where it was like, 68 I took the top off my convertible. I don’t even think that’s a white person thing – it’s pretty much an Ohio thing.
I’m Black and I don’t understand shorts in the winter time…. why college students? ….. why?
And no need for any derogatory racist comments towards this post b/c this site and these posts do nothing but make fun of the people who feel the need to have their weak, fragile egos constantly stroked by the same people who they consider beneath them (Blacks, Latinos, Asians, etc.)
I wear shorts when I’m not at work… pretty much year round. Then again, I live in southeast Texas.
Hammock up, dude!
To add to my previous comment, if your “shorts” come down past your knees, they aren’t shorts but rather ugly long pants with too little material.
I will never own flip flops. They’re ugly, and the culture that has evolved around them (casual everything) is uglier.
High five! I (black chick) wear flip-flops 10 mos a year…jan & feb are hell! i never did understand why the white chicks at my school work shorts with sweaters though lol
white people also wear shorts when its late fall or freezing ass outside. but still… i love white people.
When I lived in Woodstock, NY (keep your dogma off my karma) I would see a fellow walking around town who always wore shorts. Six inches of snow on the ground? Yup, wearing his shorts. Wind chill temperature in the teens? Yup, he’s got those shorts on. At first I speculated he was showing off his macho thing, but after overhearing him in conversation with others around town I speculated he must have taken too much PCP when he was younger.
I’m white, have beautiful legs but Hate shorts! I really hate to see a guy in loose shorts with their package hanging out. Don’t they know about underwear? Geeeez.
I never wear shorts but I have to agree with the flip flop thing. When I was in high school one of my friends used to wear her birkenstock sandals in the snow.
I love the images of upper middle class WASPS, being healthy, sophisticated, and loving dogs (especially healthy english labs). I have a new addition to what white people like. Box bushes. They love them. They can’t get enough of trimming f’ing box bushes.
That must be you who is always staring at my “package”.
What’s underwear?
My favorite is white people jogging when it is below 50degrees wearing shorts. Your legs are pink because they are trying to tell you something. They’re Fucking Cold!
I like shorts! They’re comfy and easy to wear!
Are you serious? Oh, relax, will ya? Sheesh! Consider: a whole lot of white people come to this site and think it’s funny. I think we find it so funny b/c it’s often embarrassingly true, AND we can laugh at ourselves a bit- we tell ourselves (out of white guilt) if we can at least laugh at ourselves while we sip our four dollar coffee drinks, we’re not so bad. The site may be very much aimed at and among more northern young urban professionals who buy “artist loft” condos that were never lofts, and push baby carriages that cost more than lots of rural folks pay for a car. Of course there are millions of white folks who pick up Micky-D’s on the way home to watch Jerry Springer reruns late at night. (I’m somewhere in between) Maybe nothing here this sounds like you- cool. Then why would you find it offensive? Anyway, if you’re ever in Boston, give me a shout- we can go hang in the South End and you can see some of the scene this site’s talking about. (north face jackets, eight dollar sandwiches, having gay friends and on and on…)
In England loads of dopey men, of all ages as well, still insist on wearing these 3/4 length pants which came into fashion for gay men about 10 years ago, and were abandoned about 5 minutes later.
They wear them with flip flops and trainers (sneakers). Look like complete dicks and don’t know it.
o i love shorts especially the real short gym pants not those long ones but the ones that really show off my thighs
so black people dont wear shorts OR t-shirts? yall niggas crazy
does a thong count as shorts?
I live in Chicago…and i don’t understand why white people wearing shorts while jogging along the lake in 10 below zero weather and a 20 below wind chill! or while at school, white people on my campus who’d wear shorts and a hoodie….doesn’t that defeat the purpose? why where a hoodie to stay warm when you’re wearing shorts and flip flops? lol.
No, no, no! No, do NOT lump me in with this. I HATE shorts! No guy looks cool or good in shorts unless he is a professional athlete…and even then, not really! There is nothing attractive about hairy legs; especially my hairy legs.
You will never see the pink knees of this cracker!!
i love my shorts!!!! i wear them in the winter with my hoodie and flipflops! love em! maybe it does defeat the purpose, but i don curr-!
then agian..i live in florida…
Totally Dude, totally.
As a Californian, I’m really confused about the “shorts in the snow” thing. And the snow thing for that matter.
dammit ive been exposed again.
Pasty skin. Sagging. Veins. Welcome to middle age. Jeans for me for life.
You really lose a lot more heat through your upper body than you do through your legs. If you are running, your legs will stay warm. The rest of you, not quite as much.
I think you mean, ”used” with a letter D.
Signed,
Grammarian
I like this thread, because I love to wear shorts as much as possible, too. During winter time I can hardly wait for tempertures above 55 degrees so I can put on a pair of my many shorts. This seems funny to me, because when I was a boy I did not like to wear shorts & show off my legs. I hated PE because we had to wear shorts. But then as I got out on my own, I started wearing shorts(at first just when I was alone, by myself), then gradually all the time. Anywhere, anytime the weather was warm and I was off of work, I WAS IN SHORTS!!!
I don’t know if anyone has already pointed this out, but here in new england it is perfectly acceptable to wear a hooded sweatshirt with shorts well into november. i think this goes back to people’s anglo-saxon kilt wearing roots, which I’ve also noticed is becoming fashionable again especially in Boston.
White people also like organic cotton tees.
http://www.cafepress.com/day_earth/5202037
well im black and u guys are stupid not because your white but jus becus you are on a website like this i m educated enough to know tht u wrong
I’m also black and I’m educated enough to know that by what you seem to think is correct use of the written English language, you’re clearly not educated enough.
i used to go to a school with pretty much everyone there white, except me and my cousin, once the snow melted a couple idiots started coming to school in t shirts. i love this article
“here in NEW ENGLAND it is perfectly acceptable to wear a hooded sweatshirt with SHORTS well into NOVEMBER”
Yeah, I’d say that pretty much sums it up.
I also live in New England and love the sweatshirt/shorts combo. All the guys I know wear tee’s and shorts as soon as it breaks like 40/50 degrees in the spring. It’s our way of denying that winter is coming, and bringing spring early!
My boyfriend wears shorts everyday of the year. A few years ago a buddy of his bet him that he coudln’t wear shorts every single day that year. Well, he proved him wrong. Now he says pants are only to be worn for weddings and funerals. He will start as a PE teacher this year and I believe he really got the job just so he can work in shorts.
p.s. we are both white and love to wear shorts 🙂
Ok … I went through all of highschool wearing a kilt every freaking day to school in Canada.
Trust me, you get used to it.
Yes, it is completely acceptable to wear shorts almost any day of the year. My legs are so used to the FREEZING weather, I honestly don’t feel the cold on my legs anymore.
Man, I feel so white right now 😛
White people and your shorts in the winter… And your flip-flops. I don’t get it. Flip flops are for the beach. Its like you don’t feel the cold. So strange.
So true. When I lived in Europe, I would always be put off by white American tourists’ display of idiocy. Once on a freezing winter day, I was going to school on a freezing tram (no heating), and was completely weirded out by a group of young white Americans who were wearing shorts (it was December I think). Man, their legs were blue and they looked miserable so I’m not sure what was behind their resilient motivation to wear shorts. I’m also not sure as to their ability to reproduce after wearing shorts every winter.
You’re also on this website…
amen.
~short wearer from Kitchener, Ontario, Canada.
Cold decreases fertility, your retarded minority ass obviously went to a shitty school (this is one reason white people like to read and maximize their education). If knowledge is a character flaw, then I’m just a white literate freak (how strange). Do some research on the effects of decreased temperatures and the negative correlation between theses and increased sperm count, unless this much reading is to white for you. Why do minorities wear those stupid shorts that r so long they reach mid-calf?
that’s so TRUE!
i mean, i’ve never seen a black person wear shorts. ne-ver.
coincidence?
i don’t think so!
u’ve never seen an NBA game?
Wow Josh – I think you need to develop some a sense of humor. If you cannot realize that this blog is not written to be malicious but rather to poke fun at the stereotypes of the elitist white culture, you, my friend, are the moron.
Maybe since you love research so much, you should look into some of the comments the author has made regarding this blog. He notes it is not directed at the entirety of white people, but rather points out stereotypes that are undoubtedly prevolent to some extent throughout white culture. I cannot even fathom a more ignorant response to this harmless joke about white people’s love of shorts than what you chose to post on this wall. You are truly an idiot, a bigot, and an asshole. Keep on doing your thing Christian. I can’t get enough
Why so serious, everyone? Personally, I am a HUGE fan of shorts. I am a hot-natured individual, and shorts partially relieve this burden I must bear. Some people with better temperature regulation do not understand how I can choose to “freeze to death” in the winter by wearing shorts, but I am inside, and the thermostat is set to 80?!? I am not advocating respect for the shorts because some people will never understand, but I do ask for respect of personal choices that have no effect on anyone but the casual wearer. Thank you.
I think this post needs to be divided into two segments that more aptly describe a white person’s shorts wearing habits:
1) I think the picture of the white guy in the snow wearing shorts is spot-on. I think it perfectly capture’s the essence of “Hey, I’m on a mountain and there’s snow everyone, but I’m so high up that it’s warm, so I going to wear shorts. I know, it’s crazy, especially since there’s snow all around!”
2) By contrast, if somewhere is not in some incredibily bizarre-yet-cool situation to wear shorts in, I think most white people love to shun the guy who breaks out the shorts too early in Spring, thinking things like “Look at that guy, you know it’s going to be cold again tomorrow, he so jumped the gun here”. I’d even go so far to say as the “cooler” white people will continue to wear pants well on into appropriate shorts-wearing weather.
Nah we just don’t get ashy, and our women actually shave their legs. don’t hate
I think she means never seen a black person in just-above-freezing weather in shorts.
But this is totally Gospel! It’s so funny! 🙂
That’s right, you will NOT see black people wearing shorts in cold weather. That’s because we have the God-given sense to wear WEATHER-APPROPRIATE CLOTHING when it’s cold. So there. ;-p
Because young black men actually think they look cool wearing them. I think those shorts represent the antithesis of the really tight, really short shorts that we used to wear back in the day (60s, 70s, 80s).
Both look ridiculous to me!
“Nah we just don’t get ashy…”
Uh – YEAH ya do! ALL people experience ash if they don’t lotion.
“and our women actually shave their legs. ”
Uh – white women aren’t the only ones who shave, man.
Not windsurfing. Jetskiing! Then Hi five!
Ummm no, increased temperature decreases sperm count… like being in a jacuzzi too long. Cold just makes your balls stay closer to the body… and maximum sperm production is at a few degrees below body temp anyway, that’s why you’ve got a sac instead of them being lodged deep in there like ovaries.
sorry
I know that last post sound a tad bigotrous, however I did not intend to offend anyone I simply went to far in reciprocating the joke. White people deserve to be teased, all people deserve to be teased. If we can’t laugh at each other, then we will never over come our differences. I’m not a Christian, but do know that Jesus was black, so you should be one. You are right I can go to far and be an asshole and I hope you accept my apologies Andy (and anyone else who was offended). I didn’t mean it to be offensive, though in hindsight I realize it was. This site is all to personal and true (LOL).
My joke wasn’t directed at everyone just hyper-sensitive people like you who can’t take a joke, remember it goes both ways, don’t give unless you can receive my friend.
And Fez when I replied with cold decreases fertility I was simply sarcastically reciting another’s blog, I know that cold increases sperm count. Why not harass the guy that said our women shave their legs and don’t get ashy? How is that not offensive?
It is me again, I truly love wearing shorts. I like trying to tan my legs to a golden bronze. It is great to wear shorts and show off bare, manly leg.
lmfao!!!!!
I don’t get cold here in the United States of America…hence the shorts in cold weather. When you’ve lived in Northern Canada for 12 years, the weather in the states feels wonderful. I’m proud of my tolerance.
you need to cover up them knobby knees.
I love shorts with a sweatshirt and have never hesitated to wear the combo……..cold weather increases your metabolism, too!!!!!
wow your white literate freaky ass doesn’t know grammar:
“….Do some research on the effects of decreased temperatures and the negative correlation between theses and increased sperm count, unless this much reading is to white for you.”…..
Am I too white to correct your grammar?
I live in Alaska, i wear shorts year round. No it doesnt bring the spring any closer or earlier, but after living in Oklahoma, and coming here, its a different kind of cold/heat, we eat more ice cream than any other state too! We white folks just like what we like, regardless of the weather!
My legs are too white for those.
I wear shorts during the times the calendar says it is spring or summer. Because I’m too lazy to recognize temperatures and their fluxtuations.
most people in the Pacific wear shorts everyday!!! and everywhere….. be it work…..school………… town………… home
shorts are appropriate in the following situations:
1. as undergarments
2. as exercise/sporting apparel
everything else is a terrible affront to humanity.
I fully respect the right of my paler counterparts to wear shorts whenever they please. But don’t be illogical. If you have to wear a sweatshirt with your shorts, then you should not be wearing shorts!
Word. 100% agree
Fluctuations, Mr. Amercian sawker fan
Scott W. wrote: Ok, I lost white points on that because I don’t think any male over eight years old should be wearing shorts.
I say, “THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!” It’s sooooo disgustingly gross to see these nasty, hairy, pieces of sh** wearing clothes that do not cover up there nastiness. I have never worn shorts my whole adult life, and I never will.
Another no-no for adult males – open toed shoes, yuck!!
Spoken like a true not-white person. I LOVE SHORTS ALL THE TIME
i hate shorts. i wore shorts no more than 3 times in the last year.
White people love to wear shorts when it’s cold to imply that they have a high tolerance for cold. Which is something else white people value and find impressive.
I live in New England and wear shorts March-November. I love exposing my white skinny legs!
The sweatshirt or fleece vest layer is to keep your ‘core’ warm …
… sheesh.
Me too Marcus. I love the cold. Must be because I have a lighter complexion. You know how God creates the races differently and all.
My friend Steve (He is black, obviously from my comment tpo this post) wears shorts all of the time. It does look strange…he’s a great big guy, with little skinny legs.
He gets how funny and odd it is, and takes it in stride when anyone comments.
BTW, I pretty much only ever wear shorts, all black (As is my entire wardrobe), and it is great fun to show up to some Goth club here in San Francisco (I am a bartender in a club as well, and I wear shorts when I work too) in black shorts.
My friend Mathew calls them my ‘Hobbit pants’…Hehehe.
I like wearing shorts because I have sexy legs.
So what if I’m white and a guy.
White people in Texas wear shorts with sweatshirts in what passes for winter here. Nobody understands this, not even white people from other states.
Yeah I’m from texas and even on the coldest of days here i still try to wear shorts..even with a hoodie and a scarf and toesocks.
I’m white and I love shorts. I love chicken and watermelon too
Wrong again SWPL, I hate shorts.
what is it with blacks & baggy pants hangin off they ass?
boxers hangin out?
I think he’s crazy as hell wearin shorts in da winter time….I think white people choose to act different because they are white and we are black and they wanna be difrenent…………………………..
Lol………….
Why wouldn’t you love shorts? Why wouldn’t you love chicken? Why wouldn’t you love watermelon? Those are all good things.
Wow, way to lump all of us up there, I mean because EVERY SINGLE BLACK PERSON EVER…has jeans half way to their kneecaps. It’s probably because we keep 40’s in one pocket and a couple of stolen watermelons in the other, and don’t for get the Glock tucked down the back, that’s why our pants hang so low…>.>
your dumb, I see plenty of dumb ass white kids doing the same thing.
Hey there, I’m from Michigan people. And yes, I’m also a white male who believes in wearing shorts whenever humanly possible. I totally disagree with the ignorant people who say that only kids wear shorts. That’s just plain nonsense at its best. As far as black people are concerned, I’ll be diplomatic and say nothing about how you have responded to other white peoples’ comments.
I’m Canadian, so, obviously cold winters, and shorts will stay around all year. When I was in High school I had an after school job at a sports store (i.e. Hockey store) and it was about a twenty minute walk from my house, yet because I liked wearing shorts at work, I would just wear them the entire walk there. I still can’t tell you why I did this, maybe I’m just that white, and my love of shorts is so ingrained into my DNA that I didn’t even have control over what I was doing. I kinda feel better now, this site is kinda like therapy, i’m learning so much about who I am. Thanks!
White folks love wearing shorts even when 55 degrees outside.
Do you at least see the irony in blasting someone who pointed out something a lot of black people do on a blog about what a lot of white people do?
Are you saying that only non-whites are allowed to point out the humor in the widely seen habits of other races?
C’mon now. Save the righteous indignation for when someone burns a cross on your lawn; you’re giving the rest of us a bad- no, sorry, worse name.
Call me whitey but I’ll take shorts any day to a pair of baggy a$$ dwars hanging down to my feet.
I hate wearing shorts because I have ugly legs. I’m white and a girl.
It’s because when you wear shorts your legs get tan.
If white people didn’t wear shorts, our legs would be so white, you’d be blinded by them. Why else would we wear such hideous apparel?
Haha, this is so true! I got to a mostly-white college on the east coast, I love it, but I can guarantee you that no matter what the weather there will ALWAYS be someone out there in shorts and/or a miniskirt! Ah, people people.
Most white women know how to wear shorts. Black women wear the ghetto get up with short shorts and huge behinds. And boys and wiggers pull your pants up, you have no idea what kind of retard you look like.!
You write about shorts, but what about the waist pouches.
No white dude from the US worth his shit would be caught dead without that!
I’m a black female and I don’t wear ghetto get up. I admit, I have a booty, but I was born with it and I do not try to display. Kinda of funny though, I’m petite with a perfect a** and white girls hate “try to make fun of”. The funny part is that I know a white guy who loves it–really loves it. LOL
Ha ha you know spring is coming soon when a white person throws on some shorts in the dead of winter. Who need Punxatauney Phil?
You don’t have to apologize for your booty girl. I don’t have one. Besides now a days everybody wants to be “bootylicious”, we can thank J-Lo for bringing that to the mainstream when we all know sistas been walking around with donks, not me though 😦 . This blog is funny, what’s even funnier are the comments that incite more racial “feuding” I suppose than the blog itself which is meant to be funny/satire/ironic/whatever.
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good luck
I also like my shorts. I get around by bike, so they are practical, less likely to get in the way of the chain. The exercise keeps me warm, and I like the feeling of cold air round my legs.
Yes, I do really like wearing hoodies so wear a hoodie with shorts a lot. I like the shorts/ hoodie look, and it’s very comfortable. Sitting still in class can get a bit chilly in just a t shirt and shorts, so its nice to have an extra layer.
Strangely, I don’t like flip flop/ sandals. I have poor ciruclation, so my feet get cold easily. They are also a hazard on a bike, so I wear sneakers over ankle socks.
brothers dont rock the shorts til 80’s unless on a court, they dont like the cold and are not ass stupid besides a brother never knows how long he may have to wear them shorts b/c a black mans life is unpredictable.
Let’s not forget the shorts+ flip-flop combination in the cold winter months.
hey what stuff do blacks like beside freebies from the hardworking white taxpayers?
wow… i guess that was a little racist. Especially, since the largest number recipients of welfare would be “white”. I’m a teacher at a private, tuition supported school. I live completely off of my earnings. I pay my taxes and thought this comment wasn’t fair. Just, thought i’d say it… have a great day otherwise.
White people are more resistent to cold, and they need the vitimin D. 🙂
Shit..I live with three white people and live in chicago. No matter how many times I turn the heat on, they turn it right back off and freezeing. I’m like what the hell? Are you like not aware how cold it is. Talking bout I sweat…shit as cold it is you should be happy you sweat.
oh to be black..? but you can act, talk and dress like us. than when you want to get a job you have no color to stop that. Oh to be white… Is what i say as im stuck in the same job rubbing 2 pennies together and my black husband can’t find work. My human dictionary i might add. So intelligent it works against him out there. If i where white I could walk in a bank and start that business i want with no hesitation. After today it is not a dream any more. Its ok the good thing about black people is we are sooo forgiving and still have love for you.
Shorts are the devil’s pants. To escape them you have to go to Europe, where all those white people get it. Only the American whites, with the exception of myself, wear the devil’s pants.
dude i would wear shorts, flip-flops and a t-shirt every second of my waking life if i could get away with it.
(i grew up/lived in florida most of my life)
FEEL the whiteness.
I am white and I like shorts.
When I was little and would get dressed for school, I would as my parents weather or not (get it?) it was a “shorts day” ie whether or not it was warm enough for shorts. I loved shorts days.
Haha! I have this one friend that fits this article perfectly! I was walking with him on a day when mother nature decided to kill us with a freezubg, painful mix of hail and sleet followed by snow and I noticed that he was wearing shorts! It couldn’t have been more than 30 degrees outside.
Lol, I don’t even think he owns a pair of pants.
i think that canadian white men are the worst for this.
White guys like to wear shorts even in winter temps!
As a white Canadian in Ottawa, I must confess guilt to this. I will shovel snow in temperatures that are below zero in shrts (hey, I’m moving and generating heat, right?). I will also drive to the gym and back home with only my shorts and t-shirt, in a car that was parked outside overnight. Russian genetics protect me, I guess. I must also admit really liking ice baths at the spa (where the water is below zero) in between hot steam rooms and jacuzzis. I absolutely shorts, flip flops, and t-shirts.
*I absolutely love shorts, flip-flops, and t-shirts.
LOL!! How about white girls that wear their shorts with the Ugg boots. As if that makes it ok. LOL! I love it!
Crap….I’m totally guilty of this….I wear shorts every night after work and all day on the weekends…
Last year, I hiked the ski hill in June. It was covered all the way to the bottom, but closed. I then skied down, in shorts! I am soooooo damn white! I was even wearing a Team Sweden hockey jersey.
Unfortunately, I missed yoga class.
Haha. I think he has missed an even bigger “white” like in the inappropriate clothing department. Sandals (I would include crocs) at all times of the year! Or atleast wearing them until it is physically painfull to continue to wear them (a major snowstorm/ arctic blast). And yes I am guilty of this! I’ll wear my flip flops well into the fall!
“When you encounter a cold white person in shorts it’s best to say “I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to go windsurfing.” They will likely give you a high five.”
they totally fucking will
does this apply to us white-folk in California? It was 80 degrees out a few weeks ago.
And FYI, you can wind-surf in the middle of winter out here! High-5!
Someone said I was “the whitest white girl” they’d ever seen and I hate shorts.
I’m White! I Disagree!
White people evolved for the cold, and I’ve known plenty of white people that grew up in hot areas (aka Texas) that absolutely love the cold. I also have known many people who love the atmosphere of winter, me included. I use to love summer when I was in school, but I’ve grown to love winter now. Look where white people came from, Europe. What people consider white spans from Scandinavia, down to Spain, and across to Turkey and other Mediterranean areas. There is a broad area that ‘white people’ live in with all sorts of cultures.
Same im from Pittsburgh so im used to the cold and dont mind it. I’ll tell ya if its so hot that i have to wear short im pissed. Anything over 70 is to hot for me. Jeans and sneakers is all i wear.
I totally love wearing shorts… and mourn when the temp. falls below say 60 degrees in the fall… but even better, wearing shorts and a sweatshirt rocks!
I’ve worn my flip flops in the snow before to class when I was in college…and I wasn’t the only person who did that!
Flip flops in the winter are awesome!
I live in California (born and raised) and I hate shorts. I find that most people who wear them shouldn’t. I hate when guys are really short and all they wear are the really long board shorts becasue they can’t find pants short (and wide) enough. Such a fashion DON’T.
CONCERNED: You failed to mention that there are a heck of a lot more white people in this country. Based on population, more blacks are in jail and on welfare. That is a fact.
Wow – that’s some great grammar there….
“Unfortunately, I missed yoga class” Thats white to the core.. lol
I hate wearing shorts. Texas is hot as hell in the summer so i have to wear them.
WASPs aren’t named Tanya … to exotic
do note that white people find “jorts”( jean shorts ) unacceptable
Your comment is ignorant and useless. Is that your goal in life? My guess is that you believe you would be better off with others like yourself. My suggestion is that you follow that belief and stay off of public forums until you gain some maturity.
Exotic? I always thought it was trailer trashy.
Here in Michigan, I’ve seen white boys going into Meijer at 02:00 a.m. in the depths of January, when the air temperature (not the pussy wind chill factor) was -20°F.
To quote one of my favorite white-boy protestations of veracity… “I shit you not.”
That should read: “…going into Meijer wearing shorts…”
In Australia, white people love to wear t-shirts, shorts and flip flops.
and the Bogans wear tight fit black jeans.
It is me again, I havn’t blogged for awhile. But I still love wearing shorts & love to sit outside to try to tan my body with only a pair of shorts on & nothing else. Sometimes I like to work on getting a tan on my penis. Wearing shorts rocks.
@Kaf
” Sometimes I like to work on getting a tan on my penis.”
Someone shoulda told you – it won’t happen, no matter how much gay sex you do.
Love this blog!
Havaianas sandals, rainbow sandals, and persol sunglasses should seriously be added; i own atleast two pairs of each and so do most of my friends and people i see.
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money buying inappropriate shorts.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
Tool
“they will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop, at which point they will refuse to recognize that it is cold.”
lol true
Yeah seriously get off of this website! You are racist to think white people need their money any less than other races. How about you go crawl back into the hole you came from!
i love it when they wear shorts with a hoodie.
White people outside of Florida, California or Arizona don’t live to wear shorts. I had people from back east in my college arts class told me “we never saw people in Brooklyn wear shorts”. They say I’m under-dressed for the climate, the summers aren’t hot or humid to dress half way the legs. Who wears shorts in 20 below zero or 32 above F? Maybe white people are built for “cold weather”. +
Maybe you were writing about white people and shorts from long ago. Shorts are as much a REQUIRED costume in New York as ever anywhere else, especially if you are fat.
MD white people LOVE shorts…in the snow and up their ass in the summer
A fellow student in my class was a senior (60s-80s range?) told me that, he was a former Brooklynite/New Yorker and hadn’t lived there since 1990 (I guess). So, everyone in the east coast wear shorts? What’s the next fashion trend for northerners to adopt: cowboy outfits. Talk about going Texan (Yee haw!). +
I like when little boys wear shorts rather than pants…
put alil love in your heart
😉
I like when little boys wear shorts rather than pants…they can frost my face easier
put alil love frost in my mouth..
you guys are all gay!!!!
me 2. and wearing uggs with shorts. and i’m white.
Indians are the worst about wearing shorts in the cold.
I’m white, but I just had to reply to your comment as you made no sense…
Maybe that’s because shorts are not meant to be worn in the cold?!? And they know that??? hellooo??? I’d think you’re stupid if you wear shorts when it’s freezing out there!
Your so dumb, and i hate you sooo much.
go die in a fire.
And also do not sound to educated.
I hope some New Englanders read this blog maybe they’ll finally get the hint that it is NOT OK TO WEAR SHORTS IN 30 DEGREE WEATHER! STOP IT YOU’RE CORRUPTING OUR MINORITY CHILDRENIf NOW THEY THINK IT’S ACCEPTABLE! If you walk into a store and a million people are looking down at your legs you should get the hint; they don’t think your legs are pretty they think you’re nuts! lol Oh and just because you wear a hoodie or a winter coat with your shorts doesn’t make it ok either it actually makes it worse. Thank you. =)
It’s ‘You’re so dumb’ and not ‘Your so dumb’!!! Loserrrrrrr! Haha!
Go fuck the fire!
Hey, a fire you say? That means I can wear my shorts!
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i was about to write ‘calm down im sure it was like 70 degrees the day before’ and then i was like ohh man that completely fits into this article “This myth runs so deep that they will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop, at which point they will refuse to recognize that it is cold.”
Had to laugh at this. My old roomate wears shorts all year long, I’m not even sure if he owns pants. By the way, we live in the northwest…it was 5 degrees here last week, and he was still wearing shorts.
“Go fuck the fire!” and also sit on a pole and rotate.
I almost wet my shorts laughing reading this stuff here in Canada.
I own pants but love wearing shorts and sweatshirts …
God damn, why must everything on this website be true?
Shorts are one of the best things ever, and yes I will wear them in the winter time.
My reasoning is that I typically spend 3 minutes outside (to car and from car) and then hours and hours inside where I’m exposed to warm temperatures.
I have the genes of people who apparently lived on the tops of mountains because my “normal and comfortable” living temperature is 55-60F.
fuckin hippies man
We dont always wear shorts by choice, if you play and outdoor sport in spring or fall you have to stay in uniform which almost always include shorts.
I hope you realize that’s barely freezing, and as such wound be a “warm” day in winter. In fact, that’s a really warm winter day. It’s like I’d want to wear short or something.
And why should you care what other people are wearing? Do you really think shorts are such a terrible thing, or is it just some bizarre fear of calves you’re trying to pass off as mainstream?
By the way, I don’t think 30 degree shorts guy really cares what you think. They’re his calves; he can do whatever he wants with them. I have a tip for you: avert your eyes next time someone tries to corrupt your children.
HILARIOUS! I see white people wearing shorts or mini skirts (girls, hopefully) with winter boots all the time during the colder seasons, and it never fails to puzzle me, but now I think I understand…
A true standard in comedy blogging.
Another great site is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
Yeah, i never understood this part.
Why does this website allow this SPAMMER to post this exact same SPAM comment on every single blog?
I wear my shorts well into December!
This is a very nice post, thanks. http://ambienbuy.net
Found for myself some new details ..
shorts and a sweater into the 20’s(F) works in Wisconsin. I like the cool on my legs as the upper body heat overwhelms! I can even regulate my body temperature with a stocking cap.
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white people like weird porn?
If there’s one thing I’ll never understand, it is this! Shorts in the winter time and people pretending not to be cold while they’re legs turn red, then blue because they’re so damn cold. Riiiight.
But definitely not 100% of white people follow this silly practice. You can count me out.
‘Never-nudes’ even wear shorts in the shower (see #38 Arrested Development).
#thingsthatwhite people like
gardening
flip-flops
wearing shorts and flip-flops in the winter
Chick-fi-la
expensive doughnuts
expensive smoothies
sun tanning
mountain climbing
horseback riding
acting like their Black
Wearing Uggs with short skirts
Cowboy boots
corny jokes
Black people jokes
tie-die
Country music
exploring
wearing no shoes
not bathing
geting “wasted”
exstentions
Harry Potter
Lord of the Rings
asking “who’s there/anyone home” in scary movies
World of Warcraft
Wow! I am so glad that there is an official explaination for this nonsense…I see it all the time and i just wonder to myself… “Are they warm-blooded like me”…I look at myself with several layers on and and a coat with a scarf and gloves and wonder how they can be outside with shorts on. At the Thanksgiving PSU game, I was so cold selling merchandise in one of the outside trailers, but I knew I was gonna see a white guy with some shorts on and i did. I just shook my head and prayed for their health…
I didn’t go through all of the comments on the website, but I’m sure it is all true. I saw shorts and I thought to myself, “it couldn’t be talkin bout that” and it did…But I think you have a legitimate reason for wearing shorts. I’m mad at the people that wears shorts like its a regular day and it’s below 30 degree. You’re actually smart because when it gets cold outside, Penn State I know, it usually gets hot inside buildings and then students that dress for outside are hot inside. I’m from Philly so I’m just used to the sparatic and weird weather in Penn State…
When I lived in south western Ontario I wore shorts all year long because that meant less laundry.
Now I live in Manitoba and I rarely wear them.
Pants are for the cold.
I prefer my bikini to any other clothes.
I am white.
LOL I saw this blog on http://www.DanielDickey.com (The MTV VJ) and must admit it’s just as funny!!!
No, looked at that website and it’s shit compared to this one.
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
]]
I don’t own any shorts. I wear skirts & dresses all of the time. MUCH cooler on a hot day.
not bathing????? what planet are you on? What in the world is chick-fi-la?
i live all the way up in canada so i can deffinently say this is totally true lol after a very long winter in saskatchewan, me and my friends like to wear the shortest shorts we can find and enjoy the beautiful rich warm weather 🙂
Oh really? Like as white as you get, and despite whatever weather, I always wear…… Jeans. 0_o
Nah, I may be white but I don’t like shorts on me…makes me feel like a little kid. Capri pants is what I wear in the summer. They look fine on guys although I like pants better but I understand it’s hot. Shorts can be repulsive though depending on the wearer and the length and that’s a fact for any ethinicity!
@ Taylor McFlyy
Oh really? Because I’m Asian and am an excellent driver.
I think you’re missing the point of this blog, brah.
Hahaha, so true. I’m now embarrassed. I’ve been known to wear shorts in 50- and 60-degree weather. But then again, I live in Florida! You’re supposed to wear shorts there!
this is all about stereotype, so its not going to apply to everyone.
If you’re Asian then you’re definitely not an excellent driver. It’s a known fact…
So true. White people need to lay off shorts for a while. Especially when you go to other countries like Egypt or Mexico. Do you see the folks there wearing tiny little booty shorts? No. They can handle the heat, so you can you.
…and flippies! Don’t forget them flippies!
People should wear what they want and not have your morality pressed upon them.
You realize that comment will change absolutely no one’s opinion on the situation and will not encourage the author to address his/her personal position on racial stereotyping, right? So, just laugh! Or move on. I’m wearing shorts today and it’s 63 degrees out in Feb. and I’m black! 😉
I ALWAYS wear shorts.
Always! http://www.dmagazine.com/Home/D_Magazine/2012/December/Bruce_Gunn_No_Pants_Streak.aspx
There needs to be a post about Adidas Sambas, particularly the black ones. I’m a white guy, I have worn them since I was 13, and I often get a thumbs up from other white guys. On the other hand, a non-white guy wouldn’t be caught dead in them.
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This means that corn and grains are not part of this plan.
This happened because of our turtle-like evolution as well as the world’s modernization.
The philosophy associated with the conception of the Paleo
diet was due to anthropologist claiming that the caveman was more physically fit, had high levels of strength and was
free from today.
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Well, I’m white, and I NEVER wear shorts, ever. I’m too much into fashion to wear them. Now, most of you black people cannot FIT into shorts! I mean, many, many of you are obese! (Especially women!) You people walk around in very revealing, tight shorts and outfits that you should NOT be wearing in public! You are definitely a sight for sore eyes. What is in your inferior minds that tells you you can fit into these small outfits with your huge asses hanging out?! Its truly a nightmare to see you people. You’ll never, ever look like Pamela Anderson, so lose some weight before its too late, and your outfits burst!!
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It’s always white males. And white males also has ugliest and hairiest legs, however there is no concept that it can be aesthetically unpleasant to see for other people. If you’re older 12, then wear long pants, it’s that simple. Unless it’s ultra hot, but they wear it literally from February to November, so sick of seen this.
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Am i the only who one would never ever wear short outside no matter how hot it is?
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My boyfriend wears really short split up the side running shorts, and nothing else when he goes out to run in the public park, last week I bought him a new pair of shorts off ebay, they were very thin white running shorts, and you could see almost everything he had, when he tried them on he ask me if I thought they were okay, and I smiled and told him I loved them and that they were very sexy and not to wear any thing else and we went to the park to run together. What he didn’t know as it said on the news that there as an 80% chance of rain. When we got to the park, we parked and I made sure he didn’t take his shirt with him and I took the car keys and put them in my pocket. Then we starting running down the path that go’s to the lake at the other side of the park. It was starting to get a little cloudy as we made our way by the lake, and then we ran into my girlfriend and she was with a bunch of other girls, and it slowly started raining and everyone was watching my boyfriend to see if those little thin white shorts were going to give them a show, and then it broke lose, poured down we were all running to a covered patio in the park, when we got there it was full of people caught in the rain also everyone’s eyes were on my boyfriend, and when I looked at him I could see why. His shorts were soaking wet and what was so sexy was now completely see thru. It was just as if he was naked, everyone was laughing, and snapping pictures of him on their phones, and he turned blood red with no way to cover his cock and balls, or his cute sexy ass that you could clearly see thru the sheer white shorts. Evan after that day, he still wears those white shorts to run in and nothing else. .
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Don’t forget flip flops! Those usually accompany the shorts. However, I think flip flops probably deserve a separate post
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YUP< Live from Mel" Shithole trailer park, and we been calling it a shithole long before Donald J. came on the seener. We like are shorts and whats in them, cum to Mels with your shorts on, live with them offfski
I would sya, a clostmey bag really turns me on, gets the wood up at the trailer park
White or black doesn’t matter. Feel free to see our webpage @www.tradeassist.in/
I’m black and wear shorts in the winter if the temperature is above 50 and playing basketball or taking out the trash but other than that no way I dont want to get frostbite which is very dangerous. If I’m going to wear shorts in the winter I’d need to get some leggings and protect my legs but they only work at a certain temperature.
no sorts, but I jingle my change, I ‘m still kinda cute
DEAD
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