#3 Film Festivals
January 18, 2008 by clander
White people can’t enough of Film Festivals. Especially Sundance, Toronto, and Cannes. The reason why they love them so much can be due to a number of factors.
Fact #1 - 90% of white people have taken a film class at some point in their life.
Fact #2 - White people like feeling smart without doing work - 2 hours in a theater is easier than 10 hours with book.
Fact #3 - If white people aren’t going back packing, they generally like to travel with a specific purpose.
Fact #4 - 75% of white people believe they either have the potential to or will become filmmakers/screenwriters/directors at some point.
Fact #5 - White people hate stuff that is ‘mainstream’ - so they go to film festivals where they see movies that every other person in their demographic wants to see. It’s a pretty sweet way to rebel.
Fact #6 - It is required by white person law, that you publicly declare that foreign cinema is better than Hollywood Cinema, and on par with Indie Film.
Fact #7 - White people earn credibility by being into film from strange countries - “oh you liked Batman? Yeah, I didn’t see it, I’m really into Serbian film now. They had a great retrospective at the Vancouver Festival.”
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Being a lawbreaker (fact #6) I have to declare the following:
I don’t GO to film festivals - I come up with my own. Like last weekend I did an Oliver Platt film festival. For myself. Didn’t invite anyone. But I have taken a film class (several, in fact) and I like movies - I like foreign films and Hollywood films and Bollywood films. I like films. Some are crap and some are good. I don’t care where a movie came from, but it sometimes helps to understand the mindset of the director.
I can’t understand fact #5 - how can white people hate everything that’s mainstream when we ARE the mainstream? Are we all self-hating white people? Sure, there are a few (3.14159%) but we’re not all self-hating.
Being one of the 25% (fact #4) I have no delusions about becoming a director, screenwriter, or film maker. I’ve tried and I suck at it. I prefer to watch.
That is all.
film is for teeth! HD baby!
Only liberal fags like film festivals.
Why would you pick up Serbia as a strange country?
-she bangs. Even though I don’t particularly like Sarah Palin. That’s just vile.
zooey deschanel. SEXY!!!
Has anyone noted that the woman on the left in this photo looks like a Scarsdale matron trying to look hip? In short, she essentially looks totally square . . .
This photo proves, in a single picture, pretty much every fact purported by this blog, plus about a half a dozen more.
Its hip to be square
This blog should be called “Stuff White Collar Democrats Like”.
I’ll bet Sarah Palin doesn’t like any of this stuff.
I bet Sarah Palin likes to take it up the ass from two black guys and a chinese midget all at once.
You must be a Republican, annoyed by the shelacking she is getting in the Media because she is an inexperienced Governor from the least populated state in America, having as its major resources as ice, snow and views of Russia :).
Aha, you think, what I will do is post the most inane, crude and stupid comment against Sarah Palin, in the hope that people will assume I’m a Democrat supporter and thus undermine the substance of what they are saying.
Doesn’t work, but it does make you look like a prat. If however, you are a genuine Democrat supporter, you are not helping.
Very few GOOD foreign film run for hours and hours, except for LA DOLCE VITA, and that’s OK because it’s got Mastroianni and Anouk Aimee and Yvonne Furneaux, and even Lex Baxter and an ending that will break your heart.
In fact, most of the really great foreign films don’t run much longer than 90 minutes or two hours, which is what most commercial films run, unless the director is Steven Spielberg and he’s jonesing for another Best Director bowling trophy.
What I find particularly annoying are the white folks who get all tingly about trashy foreign films, particularly of the kung-fu variety. The folks back home know it’s trash, just adding subtitles doesn’t make it into Art.
Have you ever watched Hero?
There is some astounding art out there.
I still prefer the masters of anime.
And that picture is the truth.It says a thousand pretentious words.
But it’s ironic … duh.
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