#3 Film Festivals
January 18, 2008 by clander
White people can’t enough of Film Festivals. Especially Sundance, Toronto, and Cannes. The reason why they love them so much can be due to a number of factors.
Fact #1 – 90% of white people have taken a film class at some point in their life.
Fact #2 – White people like feeling smart without doing work – 2 hours in a theater is easier than 10 hours with book.
Fact #3 – If white people aren’t going back packing, they generally like to travel with a specific purpose.
Fact #4 – 75% of white people believe they either have the potential to or will become filmmakers/screenwriters/directors at some point.
Fact #5 – White people hate stuff that is ‘mainstream’ – so they go to film festivals where they see movies that every other person in their demographic wants to see. It’s a pretty sweet way to rebel.
Fact #6 – It is required by white person law, that you publicly declare that foreign cinema is better than Hollywood Cinema, and on par with Indie Film.
Fact #7 – White people earn credibility by being into film from strange countries – “oh you liked Batman? Yeah, I didn’t see it, I’m really into Serbian film now. They had a great retrospective at the Vancouver Festival.”
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#3. Eminem
This person without question may very well be the only white man in America who can call a black man the N-word to his face and get away with it (especially if he’s rhyming with it). Black people love Eminem! He is regarded in some cases to be the greatest rapper of all time. And has on numerous occasions been regarded as being “a black man trapped in a white man’s body.” Having one of his albums is an easy way to gain a black friend. Whatever you do, under any circumstance, do not say his lyrics are weak. That will only make him/her question your knowledge in the field of hip hop and incite a hour long “debate.”Even worse than that is assuming that Eminem is racist. That’s another hour.
But this can be tricky sometimes because although they say he’s the greatest rapper they don’t like other races (especially whites) to bring him up first in a “whose the greatest rapper” discussion. The best way to handle this is to bring up a either a hip hop legend like Mos Def or a up and coming artist like Tyler the Creator. That’ll open the floodgates to the rap topic and he’s eventually going to come up. Knowing verses to his rhymes (on the album but not on the radio) seals the deal.
Too funny=the truth is I can relate
Oh well, I can’t say I’m no racist but not that blunt.
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