#10 Wes Anderson movies
January 20, 2008 by clander
White people love Wes Anderson movies more than they love their kids. If a white guy takes a white girl to a Wes Anderson movie on their first date, and neither of them have seen it, they will immediately commence a relationship that is reflected in songs by Ryan Adams and Bright Eyes.
Wes Anderson movies have this way of being sort of funny and a little clever, so white people in the audience will laugh like crazy. Also, if they don’t get the joke and other white people start laughing, they’ll all join in. It’s pretty much the case that if one dude with glasses laughs, the entire theater will be in stitches within 15 seconds.
If you find yourself in a situation with a white person, and an awkard silence falls over you. Mention any of the movies below and you will have something to talk about, and they will like you. Here are some approved comments:
- The Darjeeling Limited (2007) “It’s so great to see that he’s back, Owen Wilson is just fantastic.”
- Hotel Chevalier (2007) “Can you believe Natalie Portman got kind of naked?”
- The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) “I know a lot of people said they didn’t like this film, but I thought it was fantastic.” (Note: it is acceptable to be critical of this movie).
- The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) “This movie changed my life.”
- Rushmore (1998) “This is when Bill Murray really changed in my eyes, he’s so fantastic in the movie, and Jason Schwartzman is a true star.”
- Bottle Rocket (1996) “I saw this movie in 1994″
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I have never in my life heard of Wes Anderson and I’m white. Maybe I am not “white” stereotype like the author wants people to believe.
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[...] Even though President Obama is just behaving like all of the other men to ascend to the Oval Office, he’s still not doing it right because he’s favoring the wrong people. Rush Limbaugh, my favorite oracle, recognized this too in regards to health-care reform. See, Snooki is in good company. Limbaugh, who is not at all a big fat idiot (obviously, because no one ever heard again from the clown who wrote that book), saw that President Obama’s policies would heavily favor black people and amount to reparations. And my favorite politician, Rep. Steve King of Iowa (go Hawks!), said President Obama “favors the black person.” And, again, do you know what black people don’t do? No, contrary to popular myth, we pay our taxes. And no, we do take care of our kids. What we DON’T do is go tanning. It’s just gym and laundry for us. And it’s only a matter of time before our fearless leader taxes all kinds of other whites-only things, like Tea Party protests, Apple products and Wes Anderson movies. [...]
I’m white and hate every one of these movies. What is wrong with me?!?!
I love this blog! It’s hilarious, especially since my boyfriend is white and most of the things on this blog describe him. Lmao, the first time I met him, we got into a conversation about Wes Anderson.
I live for Wes’s movies. I must be white.
I’m white, so thanks for the movie recommendations! After I watch them, I hope I can fit in better with my white friends.
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