#34 Architecture
January 28, 2008 by clander
If you ask white people what they love about cities they don’t live in, they will say “restaurants,” “culture,” and “architecture.”
They just can’t get enough of old buildings or ultramodern buildings next to old buildings.
If you want to fit in with white people you need to learn about IM Pei, Frank Lloyd Wright, Frank Gehry, and a whole swath of others. Also, be prepared to say “Bauhaus” a lot.
Once you have the basics down, you should choose a city that people are unlikely to have visited, then make up a name, and choose one of the following a) opera house, b) museum, c) city hall, d) civic center. Then put all together into something like this:
“Geary is good, but I’m more much into the work of D.F. Winterhausen, he designed the new opera house in Podgorica.” Wait for a pause and then say “In Montenegro. Have you never been?”
The white person will be left in stunned silence, reverence and respect.
The reason white people love architecture so much is that deep down they believe that they could have been a great architect. They feel the same way about other professions including: professor, writer, and politician.
Also of note, white people love big books about architecture. So if you need to get one a gift, this always goes over well because it makes them feel smart without having to read too much.
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I have found something which combines an insane number of stuff that white people like into one package, it is a not for profit organization called Architecture for Humanity. From a brief look through the list it contains the following (I may have missed a few):
- #12 Non-Profit Organizations
- #19 Traveling
- #18 Awareness
- #34 Architecture
- #62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
-#120 Taking a Year Off
Oh and of course their worldwide headquarters is located in San Francisco. Outstanding!
How about Palm Springs mid-century architecture to make 1950’s era weird-shaped homes look classy and appealing to the affluent buyer? The triangular “aeronautic” styled roofs or interiors once was the (winter vacation) home of Hollywood celebs, US presidents or corporate businessmen are known to hold some value. Then again, it’s a scheme to retrieve the former glamour or glory of the desert resort. +
LOL I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and I must admit it’s just as funny!!
have you ever had to sit at a meeting with a group of white male architects? OMG. i’ve never seen a group of people who take themselves more seriously. fyi: architects talk about how they can get you to go outside more and stop watching tv so you’ll read. they view themselves as “innovators” and will use you to “experiment” with their “ideas” b/c they are “architects” blah blah blah. they waste time and money because they can be so NOT practical. the young ones especially who haven’t been humbled yet. i’m not saying they are bad people. just very ridiculous when it comes to their “work”.
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money involving architecture.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
This is PREPOSTEROUS!!!!
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
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