Stuff White People Like

If you ask white people what they love about cities they don’t live in, they will say “restaurants,” “culture,” and “architecture.”

They just can’t get enough of old buildings or ultramodern buildings next to old buildings.

If you want to fit in with white people you need to learn about IM Pei, Frank Lloyd Wright, Frank Gehry, and a whole swath of others. Also, be prepared to say “Bauhaus” a lot.

Once you have the basics down, you should choose a city that people are unlikely to have visited, then make up a name, and choose one of the following a) opera house, b) museum, c) city hall, d) civic center.  Then put all together into something like this:

“Geary is good, but I’m more much into the work of D.F. Winterhausen, he designed the new opera house in Podgorica.”  Wait for a pause and then say “In Montenegro.  Have you never been?”

The white person will be left in stunned silence, reverence and respect.

The reason white people love architecture so much is that deep down they believe that they could have been a great architect.  They feel the same way about other professions including: professor, writer, and politician.

Also of note, white people love big books about architecture.  So if you need to get one a gift, this always goes over well because it makes them feel smart without having to read too much.