#56 Lawyers
February 6, 2008 by mylosh
A common characteristic amongst white people is the need to over analyze things, so they partake in activities such as therapy, writing a blog, or becoming an arts major. So its rather obvious why white people love lawyers so much as it is the one profession that has mastered the art of “over analyzing things”. Even though most disputes can be resolved through reason, unselfishness, and / or a google search, white people would prefer to take things to court or have something in writing. Lawyers are seen as the ultimate problem solvers and “the law” is seen as the be all, end all, of resolving all the world’s ills. In fact white people tend to have better relationships with their lawyers than with family members or friends. Please note that when around white people, that it is social suicide to admit or state that you don’t have a regular lawyer.
But perhaps the one main reason why white people love lawyers is the sense that they are giving back to the community. Most white people major in the arts, and law school is pretty much the only option for anyone with a BA that wants a decent paying job. Basically this love of the law is keeping the demand for lawyers much higher than it should be. So paying lawyer fees to settle the smallest problem, is the white person equivalent of Warrick Dunn building homes for low income families.





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As a practicing, white attorney, I would just like to say that, in my experience, all races are equally ignorant as to what attorneys actually do and what their jobs consist of. I have many colleagues that are not white and I assure you they love the law and lawyers just as much as any white person does. To state my point most bluntly, I have to refer to James’ comment that “Lawyers are the blood sucking scum of the earth” and propose the counterargument that “the ignorant are the blood sucking scum of the earth” as much more harm and human suffering have been rooted in human ignorance rather than those who simply practice law. So I ask you James, am I the scum of the earth? Or are you?
Lawyers are the blood sucking scum of the earth.
Katie, I’m English and chavs are white. Without fail.
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