Prior to engaging in divorce, most white people train for it by engaging in a series of long term relationships that end very poorly. At some point, you will likely encounter a white person who is in the middle of a difficult breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
The suffering of heartbreak is universal, but it is important to be aware that white people thrive during these trying times. If you play your cards right, you can parlay these moments into future favors and valuable trust.
The majority of white person art is created after a difficult breakup; films, indie music, and poetry are all kicked into high production during the end of a relationship. This helps train white people to prepare for the pain that is coming.
Once breakup proceedings have been initiated, a white person is immediately thrust into the center of attention in their circle of friends. During this time, they are permitted to talk at great lengths about themselves, listen to The Smiths, and get free dinners from friends who think “they shouldn’t be alone right now.”
It is imperative that you do not attempt to kick them out of their misery by saying things like “get over it,” “there are other people out there,” or “I don’t want to read your poem.” Implying that there things in the world more important to you than their breakup is considered one of the rudest actions possible.
If you are lucky enough to speak a second language, the best thing you can do for a white person in this situation is to give them an expression in that language that relates to breaking up. This will make them feel better since they are comforted by the gesture and happy to be learning a new sentence that they can reuse to with their friends.
damn i hate it when u hit home – so frigging true
i just took the smiths out of my player – damn u
Dude, white people really suck don’t they.
Somehow I keep getting the idea that you’re really mocking 20-30something hipsters from Soho more than anyone else though.
C’est la vie!
I love the little bits at the end, like little action plans. Mockery as it may be, some of those little advices are really good ideas.
I saw the page for the first time and saw the picture before knowing what I was looking at. My heart leapt within me, and I said, “I LOVE MOS DEF!”
Then I realized what the blog was about.
White people will never admit they like breakups! Break ups are painful! And also, white people are not allowed to admit they are masochistic unless they are gay. In that case it actually makes them more interesting.
White people are, however, allowed to be masochistic in the bedroom since the pioneering work of the Marquis d’ Sade. They are not to be told that beating the sh*t out of your partner might hurt their relationship, because they believe that you prove you are something ‘authentically’ by doing the opposite. For instance, you prove you’re really a man by being ‘comfortable’ doing unmanly things. It is likely that this is the result of a long-running practical joke by a particularly clever white person, who probably revolted and voted for Barry Goldwater.
It is essential that white people continue this way, or otherwise they would become aware of the fact that they really only love themselves (like we love France) and they really don’t need another person to assure them of this by making demands of them that they will not meet and reciprocate with demands that also will be unmet. If white people discovered this they would probably start going to church and then find out that their church actually sucks except on Easter and Christmas. And that they actually can’t collect beautiful, matching Buddha statues and take communion in good conscience.
White people find Wicca and Spiritism fascinating and would be disturbed if they understood the role of doing strange, eccentric and narcissistic things in destroying relationships. If they found this out, fifty percent of white people would be honest with themselves and just become Wiccans.
Also, blogs exist because white people love posting comments on things and reloading the page a thousand times to see if someone responded. If they didn’t the white person feels bad and posts another comment.
The best solution is to post a follow up comment like
[white person’s handle]: lol
White people decry the degeneration of language of language in Ebonics but not in various internet and government acronyms.
If you use something ‘hip’ in your response the white person will feel better, since it will make them think a person of color appreciates their comments.
It simply doesn’t get any better than this, fellows. Don’t stop until you’ve turned over every last pebble of what we like. And try to draw it out as long as possible.
I always cringed when people said a breaker-upper “shouldn’t be alone right now”. If this person is so suicidal that a breakup would push him or her over the edge, then maybe he or she should always be watched for signs of despair.
RiverC: fly
>White people find Wicca and Spiritism fascinating and >would be disturbed if they understood the role of doing >strange, eccentric and narcissistic things in destroying >relationships. If they found this out, fifty percent of white >people would be honest with themselves and just become >Wiccans.
RiverC: wtf?
It will be mandatory for the coco-brown master race to place a jar of mayonnaise on the TOMB of the WHITE crackers which will be in the form of a TOASTER.
Like a bubbling mass of starter yeast the dominant genes in the semen of the brown and black man will bread out the recessive genetics of the melanin-challenged loafers.
Rise up and impregnate all white girls, I get 7-8 white girls pregnant per week, it is my life’s work. I also have 17 children in my own melanin-soaked family and each of my sons are also involved in kneading the seed into the “whetto” furrow.
Do the math while we do your women…
Clapping honkeys love to clap in unison to ne music at all. Clap Clap Clap
Try to limit updates to one a day. You will run out of ideas before this blog can reach its maximum audience.
Ummm….I don’t think this is limited to white people. I watch Cops, and it seems that every single race of people on this earth thrive on messy break-ups, and on Cops, they all seem to take their shirts off and call the po-po too. However, I really don’t see how this is a white thing at all.
Bad Bob! This blog is about being friends with the white people. Some people just want to bone their way out of every problem that comes their way. Yeesh.
I love your comment about the other language! HAH! Hilariously true!
Sarah is completely right: long, messy breakups are not exclusive to any ethnic group. Trying to portray them as such suggests the author just maybe doesn’t have enough to talk about.
A Mexican guy I know was recently left by his wife. His response was “whatever, fuck you.”
Sarah has this big problem with her observations… she’s watching Cops. Cops is basically just a showcase of the biggest dumbasses on earth. The types of ordeals that she sees are pretty much exclusive to dumbasses, and stupidity knows no color or creed. Watching the dregs of every race and assuming that the rest of the people of said race behave similarly isn’t a good way to figure out how people act.
White people love to enact said breakups, with public fights; They JUST love their public fights… getting into or out of a cab… in their apartment living room under mine… on a street corner… but mostly they love to fight and then make up in the rain (according to Hollywood).
Re: an earlier note about clapping. When you see white people clapping in unison to a song, at least one out of three of them will be off beat, making you wonder what song they are can hear. This reflects the actual percentage of white culture that can detect a beat. You can see this phenomenon even in movies that, one would imagine a) can be practiced (!), and b) can be hand-picked, meaning, it could be cast with a false percentage of people who keep a beat. No such luck. Rent Saturday Night Fever – watch the extras! (any movie featuring a white clapping crowd will do.)
There is footage of Ronald Reagan at some Kennedy Center performance noticing he’s off, and trying to get on the beat by vacantly staring at Nancy’s clapping hands. He never succeeds.
A corollary: The remaining part of a clapping white crowd ALWAYS gets excited by their participation and gets ahead of the music; at which point the live act usually just concludes “Fuck that, we’re not playing that fast.” and lets them be off.
sad, but true. LOL @ “I don’t want to read your poem”…hilarious.
-a black guy who reads this page on occasion
Is there some sort of affirmative action clause for the free eats? I’m interested.
WhitesPeople love their breakups. They will process anything you say at supercomputer speed to find a any any tenuous connection to the recently significant other – “let’s go get some Italian, my treat” is met with “her eyes used to sparkle when she boiled water for mac n’ cheese” or “C’est la vie” comes “We’ll NEVER have Paris”. Just read the fuckin poem.
When white people don’t get something, instead of assuming that the person is a. making sh*t up or b. being derogatory they respond with either ‘wtf’ (if on the internet) or ‘excuse me?’ as though if the person was really doing that they would care if you scorned them.
thank goodness for white people breaking up. what would emo be without them? related: what is the timeline for an ironic emo revival?
Remember what Chief Dan George said in “Little Big Man”: “Yes, the ‘black’ white man; I have heard of them. It is said that a ‘black’ white man once became a Human Being. They are very strange creatures. Not as ugly as the white man true; but they are just as crazy!”
I do love this blog. White people are very annoying, but so are some black-yellow-tan people too. But white people put themselves out there more in some ways, thus the ridicule.
“lol”
RiverC- you try entirely too hard. Start up your own blog to sustain your craving for random feedback. You comb through these comments forming what you consider to be witty rejoinders before you even read the comments all the way through.
And re: Zonk Baraba
Dude, white people really suck don’t they.
______________
I’m sorry. Some people just really don;t know how to tip,
do they?
You forgot to add that the behavior white women display during breaking up has been learned by watching/reading everything out of hollywood and all the crap on TV that caters to women. White women have to act this stuff out in “real” life in order to give their life meaning. I had an ex white chick act out the scene in Sex & The City where one of the crazy white spinster bitches goes running back to Mr. Big. I ain’t Mr. Big, Beootch! Step off! Go do some makeup after the breakup shopping and find another pussified/feminized white boy. I ain’t tha 1! Damn, I just noticed that (as a whitey) I started getting all thuggish when reminiscing about a previous relationship. Maybe whiteys have to prove to themselves they’re “hard” and can “deal” with this shizat! Peace.
I am a white woman who is presently in the hurricane-center of her own masochistically masterminded break-up. Thank you for nudge to use this moment to birth my creativity for profit. Perhaps writing a best-seller book about lying-ass white boys is in the cards for me.
Namaste,
Nakedmessenger
Is “Cops” a show that white people like?
I find this blog a waste of time and parody of itself. Are you trying to make yourself feel better about making fun of white people? Are you trying to atone for the sins of your predecessors? Just what, exactly, is the point of all this? Satire? Parody? Pushing the envelope? I’m sure the other commenters who use racial slurs about white people don’t really mean what they say…like calling white people “crackers”…like the idiot poster “Bob Blanche”.
Here’s what it’s REALLY all about…semper fi…
“I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be “Sir”…do you maggots understand that? … Bullshit! I can’t hear you! Sound off like you got a pair!
If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day, you are pukes; you are the lowest form of life on earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian of shit.
Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn, I am hard, but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops, or greasers. Here you are ALL equally worthless and my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that? Bullshit1 I can’t hear you! What your name, scumbag?… Bullshit. From now on you’re Private Snowball. Do you like that name? Well there’s one thing you won’t like Private Snowball…they don’t serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall.”
Cops is definitely white. You just can’t beat the moralizing lectures after they have busted “the perp.” It’s not just enough to do their jobs, they have to explain why its wrong to smoke crack and lie to cops.
Havisham: I was having a make-fun-of-myself party, any you weren’t invited. Ever.
Also, it’s possible that you don’t understand ‘self-deprecating humor’ or ‘irony’ – neither of which college seems to help people understand.
On the other hand, I already contribute to and own a number of blogs.
Random feedback is interesting, which is quite unlike the comment you have offered.
This is the real deal. Memories are important to several white people, especially negative ones.
A white person: Can’t we just make fun of white people in peace? Step off, yo.
Oops, there we go with the trying to be ‘hard’ thing.
There are two kinds of white people who post here:
1. The idiot who is pissed off that we’re laughing at them.
2. The idiot who thinks we’re laughing with them.
I am really amazed. What an inspiration!
Rashawn: White people think they are clever when they convert a perfectly good paragraph into a numbered list. They LOVE numbered lists – so much that in fact that there is a whole kind of torture for writers they developed called ‘creating outlines.’ Like bad piano lessons, children are subjected to it in the hopes that somehow building up their self esteem will make them learn things that are basically unlearnable.
Haha shoot. Totally right on. You should have mentioned that Latin (or French, in a pinch) is the best language for the slogan, though.
Only Dr. Phil/Oprah/Martha Stewart-watching White people act like this. Usually WP handle things decently although some do persist in acting like ..well.. Non_White people. I mean, hey, it’s a free country (sort of) , but if you aren’t going to at least act White, don’t hold yourself out as such. Ya know?
I came upon this site today. Astonishingly (or maybe not), I engage in about %75 of the activities/mannerisms/ideals listed here (for the slow, I’m Caucasian).
Ironically, reading this site made me feel much better about my life and my race. I used to feel guilty about all the things white people feel guilty about (as detailed), and attempted to keep an open mind in regards to other cultures. But learning that there will always be people who hate me for what I am regardless of the efforts I make has cured me of this.
I had always intended to give to charity and support/participate in causes aimed at healing race relations in this country when I gained the resources (i.e. once I am no longer in grad school studying writing), but I really don’t think I will anymore. I used to feel bad about the nagging raciest thoughts we all have, but I think now that I’ll embrace them. It seems that they were true after all.
If your objective was parity, mission accomplished. Your material was humorous and shockingly relevant. If your objective was promoting understanding… well, I guess I now understand more than I really wanted to.
Thank you for easing my mind. Though I might as well thank you for closing it.
On the race of the blogger
The blog links to a photo set by “jess” under the flickr account name “jslander”. I assume the author is white.
i dig this page, but it seems like you should call attention to the classed dimensions of the critique you are making of whiteness. You are really hitting on a particular strand of white moneyed hipsters (which _Radar_ excoriated as “NPRents” a couple of issues ago). Where I come from, white people like Ambrosia, Jerry Springer (yes, still), lifted trucks, going to “the river,” and the Outback Steakhouse.
That being said, I would add Woody Allen, James Brown, and debating at the dinner table.
You’re right… you’re right. Although your definition of whiteness is pretty limited, as elucidated above, it does nonetheless portray a certain, fairly large group of people wincingly accurately.
Like me, half the time.
😦
In response to #32 A White Person- add Stanley Kubric Movies to the list.
Wow # 32 (A White Person) you need to lighten up and laugh more ….which, to answer your question, is what this site is for.
Put the gun down, and start laughing.
[…] out today’s item: #70 Difficult Breakups. I nearly nodded my head off because I know people who do that. Posted by Sylvia/M Filed in […]
for #42, add using the outdated term “Caucasian.”
Ooops! When I saw the title page with the Sushi, dogs, the seashore, the fresh vegetable stands, I thought this site was about “Stuff BLACK People Like.” You know, like Tiger ‘n Venus ‘n those guys. I’m sorry. I just get so confused when I try to sort out human beings by racial typing, genetics or gender ‘n stuff. My Bad. Nevermind. It’s probably just me… j.a.z.
[…] each day the blogger lists something that white people like. Today’s entry is ‘Difficult Breakups‘. Here’s the […]
“Haha shoot. Totally right on. You should have mentioned that Latin (or French, in a pinch) is the best language for the slogan, though.”
Spanish is gaining some currency. Especially if you are a white person with a “diverse group of friends” that includes honorary white people who are all the cooler because they are a black person with professional parents that talks like a valley girl or their parents spoke Spanish to their grandparents when they came to visit them in the suburbs.
Yea, I have lived in California.
Honestly, the all-too-true & damning allegations and charges brought against whitey on this blog are charges this lilly-white post-ethnic rust belter would have made against his caucasion brothers and sisters after a year in California. The $9 sandwiches, the trendy music, the break up processes… Where I grew up the white boys, when dumped, would set their sights on getting a new girlfriend sooner rather than later… You take your buddies out to get them over it, and score extra points if you can get them a drunken one night stand. I am not saying that was a great idea though…
The “white people” of this blog are by and large 20 & 30something white unmarried yuppies with a distinctive “coastal flair” to them. My Michigan grandmother is just as perplexed by people who take their dogs to pet spas, pay more for jeans than a coffee pot, buy $9 sandwiches, or are militant about recycling like it is part of the war effort. She recycles because you get a deposit back on the cans and old newspapers are collected to support charities at her church…
She is also perplexed that her grandchildren will date the same girl or boy for a few years – even moving in with each other – but don’t just get married and make some babies. “If you are alreadying acting married…” A good factory job that is union and pays overtime is far better to her than an arts degree that has an opportunity cost of 8 years of income.
Maybe my grandma isn’t white after all… But then why can’t I tan?
This is so offensive that it’s brilliant.
I’ve often read that white folks don’t have a culture … that they are just white bread, etc. You are showing that is not true. White folks think they don’t have a culture, but that’s because they live inside it. Like fish don’t know they are in water. It’s the culture everyone else in the world wants to get by immigrating here.
Racistm111!1oneone1!
Trauma Art. Yeah, some (white) friends introduced me to it. It’s something else.
stuffblackpeoplelike – eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike – keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
you forgot to add that white people enjoy being “shocked and appalled” at the existence of racism, over and over again.
it is why they loved Roots in the 1970s and why they love the Wire today.
stuff white liberals love— this blog
but its pretty funny
one word:
BEARDS!!
White people repress their emotions more. That contributes towards break-ups and makes them more painful. Really, white people idea of public displays of affection are making eye contact and *for the daring* holding hands.
Simplersinner’s grandma doesn’t realize good factory jobs are more endangered than spotted owls.
White people love difficult breakups because they watch way too much day-time TV and they want their lives to be dramatic too.
Haters get lost… just like change down the sofa…
And sometimes it’s really fancy EURO change that’s worth loads of money, but no body really gives a shit ‘cos it looks funny and gets ditched regardless…
I used to feel bitter toward the white gentrifiers that have transformed my neighborhood into an aspiring Upper West Side- until I read your blog. It is brilliant, I read one entry and had to read all of them. Now I don’t give them the stink eye, but smile as I remember one of your entries. Thanks!
[…] site Stuff White People Like is blowing up on the internet. The latest example is difficult breakups, which, honestly, I thought lesbians of all colors had a monopoly over. But I guess those […]
it is why they loved Roots in the 1970s and why they love the Wire today.
Ooh, good one! As a certified White Person, I can confirm that I love “The Wire” almost as much as “Juno”, my rice maker (two for one: both Japanesque and a kitchen gadget!), and our family vacation home by the water in Maine.
yeah, well fuck you and your “white people like” bullshit. Replace “white” with “black” and put a bunch of african american stereotypes plugged into your un-funny rants. Looks pretty bigotted. Same difference.
You’re a stupid fucking asshole, you’re not funny, and your page sucks. I hope you die soon. btw, I’m half Hispanic, a quarter white and a quarter black, so feel free to try and pin some of your racist bigotry on me, cocksucker.
People like you make the world a miserable place. Why don’t you STFU and quit insulting people. Someday Karma is going to bite you on the ass hard, and I hope its in the form of a gang-rape by 4 black prison inmates who force you to choke to death on spooge.
Asshole
Anonymous,
It could be a lot rougher, dude, it could say that we all act like you.
Damn, there is more than one Anonymous in the class. I was talking to #57.
River C
“On the other hand, I already contribute to and own a number of blogs…”
Splendid. So you have a thriving life outside of THE INTERNETS too right? Do you have different ‘avies’ and ‘handles’ for each profile?
Bitchin’!
Ha, so that’s why “Get over it!” never works when I say it. My break ups with white girls have always made them very upset and me… not so upset.
Learn something new everyday.
Hahaha. I love your blog.
Great site.
Here’s one thing that White People find difficult to do but think it makes a lot of difference if they do it:
Saying Sorry!
Hey I’m happy that Harry Potter got up and made the effort, however now all the White People of Australia think that it’s a big thing, just cause it’s so difficult for them to do it.
After 200 years of having to bow and scrape, saying Massa and being treated as animals, thats all we gonna get.
Just where are the Nungas with attitude?
(:p)
Grandma is under no illusion that the factory jobs are plentiful or even permanent. But in the interest of making a more up-to-date example, she would be hard pressed to understand why one would go to Brown or Vanderbilt to get a degree in education to teach biology (expensive training for non-lucrative work) over going to a local community college that offers an RN program to be finished sooner and to have more job opportunities than you can contemplate.
FACT: White people enjoy masturbating themselves to sleep, whilst sobbing.
I love this blog. I hope you write it forever.
deweesed@pdx.edu
I have been working in an office with all white people and it is driving me nuts. This site is a nice release. Thanks. I only wish I’d have thought of it first. There’s so much material there.
Have you covered nuance yet? I can’t tell you how many times I hear the same damn boring opinions and statements repeated over and over. These people must know they hear the same thing from everyone else around them, or on tv or the net or some great white source I don’t know yet. But they say them anyway, and very insistently and with confidence.
But it’s never exactly the same. White people try very hard to be like everyone else by repeating the same formula (‘coffee is all about the roasting…”, “Trans ams and mustaches are awesome….”, “I’m allergic to…”) but then subtly changing it to give it their own spin. I guess it’s how they stay safe and accepted and still feel unique like everyone else.
I just wish they weren’t so loud and proud about it all.
I’m with 42 iguessimwhite,
The kind of white people described in this blog are basically raised to feel guilty about racism. Like we have any control over how we look. Pretty stupid, But I’m starting to realize that maybe I was too harsh on my grandmother who uses every racial slur there is. Apparently, behind closed doors, us crackers are mocked for trying to accept peoples differences. It’s kind of liberating actually. Non-honkey’s in this country obviously don’t care about understanding and tolerance, why should I! Thank you all for opening my eyes.
Apparently white people like….uhhhh…EVERYTHING!
What an indictment! (another of the many “white” things to say)
Will somone please respond to my comment? A nifty lol! would do. I just don’t have time to keep refreshing my screen. I really need to be accepted by some one who’s not pure white. That would really validate (another of the many “white” things to say) me. Anyone?
Hey dudes,
This is so damn funny, even though I am less than one quarter white, it just breaks me up.
Can you do one one what Thais like?
How about one on what less-than-one-quarter-blacks like?
This post is hilarious in a way. It really is quite true. I am an indian, and my white friends suffer from this sometimes.
white people love themselves
white people hate themselves
white people are funny
a lot
My Blog is gonna be like this when it grows up!
This posting sounds like really bitter. It sounds like you broke up whit some one and are now on the crusade against that person.
Also “white” people speak different languages by the way – not just others.
And if this is about US don’t the certain groups of “coloured” people in fact have highest break up rates?
This posting and the blog as a whole is a) stereotyping and b) racist.
Well, as we say in Japan: 磯の鮑の片思い
This one should just be called ‘drama’ – how would white people cope if they couldn’t focus on themselves all the time?
i think the definition of ‘white people’ here should be explained. all of the comments above refer to anglo-saxon, germanic, or some other western people. it means it has nothing to do with the skin color, but with culture and history of their nation.
Then don’t say “white people”. Did you know that all white people are not anglo-saxon, nor are they even indo-european! The cultures wary and even if you’re talking about culture your still stereotyping and it is still rasist.
Erm… Wicca is derived from White, pagan, Celtic religions. It’s probably why White people like it. Probably just like Black people liking Islam or why Rap music base lines sound unerringly like African tribal beats.
(Don’t you hate it when Whitey gets all, like, academic?)
We also like psychobabble bullsh*t. Here, check this out:
Stuff like what’s on this blog was inevitable. It started en masse with Richard Pryor and is indicative of the beginning of the end of the power differential between Blacks and Whites in the West.
It’ll become the new rage, “Mock Whitey.” Whites will start to see how they are perceived by other races, something that only happens openly to the power elite when the balance of power shifts. If the balance of power were not shifting, the idea of publicly mocking Whitey would be too scary, threatening, connoting stuff like “jail time,” and “I’m in trouble now.”
It’ll be met with the same mixed reactions we’ve seen since the 60’s: “I’m not like that!” “It’s so true.” “Hey, OTHER races are just as bad!” “That’s not funny.” “That is sooo funny.”
I’m looking forward to guessing which way I’ll respond.
(PS: I’ll be checking back later to see if anyone responded. LOL!)
the post above talks about ‘white people’, but it basically says the same thing what many people in Europe think about people from the US, and mostly about white people from the US. Maybe the British could be added too, so it makes Anglosaxons.
he, he
This made me laugh… would love to do what purple people do…
Wait… white people like difficult breakups? How about next post, you talk about how white people like fried chicken and watermelon. Oh, and you can start it out with “I know other races like fried chicken and watermelon, but white people take it to another level.” I love that intro.
I LOVE fried chicken and watermelon! (See? I checked back. I could not stop myself. I tried, honest, but it was like a siren song, something beyond myself…)
🙂
u know what i love about most black women. they think everyone gives a shit about what they have 2 say, esp. on their cell phones. i can hear their floppin big gums from 2 blocks away.. ” and i told dat bitch u best answer me when i axe u a question hoe” shut the fuck up.
yeah thank god for break ups and lost love (well as long as YOU aren’t the white/blue/pink/black/yellow/green/orange etc. person going through them). without them some of the best damn music/art/poetry etc in history wouldn’t have been created… thanks for the cheeky observations which i believe apply to all races!
white or not, breakups are tough. but truth is, whites have higher breakup rates. perhaps, they have been brought up to be cassanovas, the whole culture that they grew up in has bred them to treat breakups casually. in fact, i’m suspecting that they enjoy it so much, they do it because it puts them in the centre of all attention.
如果他们是真心相爱,分手也不会那么容易说出口。
若彼此是天造地设的一对,不管经过多漫长并痛苦的岁月,始终还是会紧握着彼此。
Do white Americans really have higher break up rates than lets say African Americans? Where did you get those statistics??
Unless this is all a big joke, which I really can’t make out, this is the stupidest blog I have ever come across… I rather think that I am just not getting it… i’m losing my time… may life be kind with you all.
Spanish boy (am I white or what?)
“I don’t want to read your poem.”
That is hilarious. I have a breakup advice site and I’ve never heard anyone complain that their friends have said this, but I’m sure it’s out there.
🙂
Kind of racist, eh?
I LOVE your blog. I’m white and couldn’t agree with you more. My friend is going through a break up and it’s driving me NUTS. I already told her to get over it though … oops.
white people also love to hate strippers. many white people also blame strippers for such break ups… who in America hasn’t heard something like this from a white girlfriend :t “oh, I had to break up with John because he was addicted to strippers”
The translation is :O
” I had to break up with John because he was actually broke, I’d have more security stripping than if married him!But I would never dance with my top off!
love your blog.
Breaking Up? Are you serious? This was an absolutely moronic entry. I’m all for satire, but could it at least be less of a stretch? Do I need to go tell my black co-worker to quit moping because he girlfriend left him? What’s next, “White people like oxygen”?
107 comments? You must have hit a nerve!
OK, now it’s 108
What is this while people all about…? any difference in feelings becuase of color……? I don’t think so..
kush soni
如果他们是真心相爱,分手也不会那么容易说出口。
若彼此是天造地设的一对,不管经过多漫长并痛苦的岁月,始终还是会紧握着彼此。
Oh, I just love it. This is the sort of thing white people love as well. Chinese that is, even if they can’t understand it.
My brother performed an extremely overdramatic part in a bad breakup with his girlfriend, then took to his bed for about 6 or 7 weeks, depressed that the perfect union they would have bestowed on the nation wouldn’t ever occur. I was real upset about that too (sarcasm). Crowds of people were all looking forward to that perfect marriage.
I quickly caught on that I wasn’t allowed to say “Get the fuck over yourself!” Heteros are sooooooo vain.
People have found lots of ways to disown this site, as in: this is really about yuppie behavior, this is really about liberal behavior, this is really about American behavior…. so let me add, this is really about oblivious white hetero behavior.
hey hilarious list! If you’re looking for a good one. I high suggest. “Bluegrass”. White people eat that $hite up! (myself included lol). Especially the O’Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack (it won best album at the grammy’s for godsakes!,) and Nickel Creek
white people also love having gay friends.
if you are black and gay, you are a unicorn to white people.
“Do white Americans really have higher break up rates than lets say African Americans? Where did you get those statistics??”
Ceasing to make booty calls can’t rightly be said to be a break up.
Even if he/she is “yo baby parent”.
i think this blog should be called “stuff that white hipsters/yuppies like.”
Stuff Black People Like:
-Being Uneducated
-Guns
-Rape
-Stealing
-General Crime
-Money
-Escalades
-Crack
-AIDs
Just a few hilarious ideas I’ve come up with if you ever decide to expand your site.
#117 is why this piece of crap site is inevitably going to de-evolve into some extra racist bullist. You seem like a nice enough (albeit plain looking) white woman in your flickr stream, but your blog is a just a dog whistle that is going to worm its way through the internet and pull all kinds of people who don’t share your values or your brand irony, thereby putting your dumb ass in bed with them. Your next entry should be: “race-related humor about stuff they barely understand that ends up attracting actually racist white people who don’t get invited to south asian weddings and yap about how cute their saris are.”
I thought this was a global middle class life skill regardless of skin colour.
It’s kind of a fun way to go through life. We aren’t so worried about surviving until the end of the week like our ancestors. We have time to contemplate small mundane stupid shit and be complete assholes when we feel like it. Pretty charming, eh?
That’s evolution.
Raise your hands if you know what author #32 is riffing off of.
Answer this time tomorrow.
I’m white and I have never been through a difficult break up. Let’s hang.
-Being Uneducated
-Guns
-Rape
-Stealing
-General Crime
-Money
-Escalades
-Crack
-AIDs
Isn’t it hilarious that these ridiculous notions are considered by those born from incest (117)? Hello, let’s be honest no one loves these better than whites!
I mean, in your attempt to be funny, you just proved #1 in your asinine list. Stop educating yourself on stereotypes that are generally untrue.
“Listening to the Smiths” and “No, I don’t want to read your poem…”
yeah that pretty much sums it all up. Strong work!
B.
LMAO @ this post! Funny stuff. Too bad the humor is lost on some of your posters who insist on being hateful. Too bad indeed.
Commenters #s 117&122 blow. Not every stupid comment about black crime or education needs to recieve the thoughtless smarmy calls for racists to stop educating themsleveson stereotypes that are generally untrue. Doesthe percentage of whitespeople driving Priuses or shopping at Whole Foods in vintage clothes eclipse the 50% black highschool graduation rates or % involved in the criminal justice system? Shouting ignorance can be ignorant. Anonymous’ mistake is ignoring the point. Just ignore him (or her) and let’s get this thing back on the make fun of whitepeople and their stuff track.
I just discovered your blog and I love it! I’m Asian-American, born and raised in the U.S., and I’ll tell you white people that you guys crack us up as much as we crack you up.
You should have a post about how white people love mayonnaise. They just can’t get enough of it.
hahahaha….good stuff.
White people love being clever about stereotyping other’s, likes and dislikes.
White people love the fact that they’re always right. Even when they realize they’re not.
White people love the fact that they’re Gods gift…
#32 is clearly riffing off Full Metal Jacket, no doubt a white movie, which is based on Michael Herr’s book Dispatches.
List no. 71: Incredibly expensive rain coats. Us white folk just can’t get enough of them…
72: Canoes and fly fishing.
First, I think you win the internets with this blog. Second, as a white, would-be writer and vain occasional blogger, I’m jealous that I didn’t think of this.
I’m really surprised at all the negativity generated here. Clander trivialises and marginalizes much of what is considerred an important part of your generation’s urban conciousness in Seattle. I don’t think recycling, bike riding or shopping at Wally World is a white or black thing. This is kind of a passive/aggressive form of reverse racism. If these kind of cliches were directed at blacks (and there are many that could be dredged up) instead of whites they would be roundly criticised as being overtly racist.
This blog is about middle to upper middle class, liberal-minded, Anglo-Saxon/Germanic types. Stop generalizing to all whites. It’s like saying all Yellows like to eat dogs just because Koreans do.
Some Koreans from Korea do like eating dogs. Some Koreans don’t like eating dogs. I assume some non-Korean Asians like dogs as well. Who knows. The point that the post 132 is trying to make, I assume, is that generalization is bad. But generalization sure is funny.
I do agree that this blog is about upper WASPs (white anglo saxon protestants – although they are now spiritual but not religious) and richer Jewish people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Jewish folks like to say that they’re not really white, but to us non-whites, you’re white.
Funny thing happened while I was reading this, most asians I know are waaaaay too white. Not there there is anything wrong with that.
Fantastic and hilarious site! Just wanted to say that and that I’ll not bother reading the comments anymore. Who knew so many people utterly devoid of even the faintest sense of humor would waste their time on a website devoted to humor?
Try taking yourselves even more seriously.
#114 Poster Says
“white people also love having gay friends.
if you are black and gay, you are a unicorn to white people.”
Can I get an Amen?
you should make this blog #71 on the list of things that white people like.
how many times can you tell the same joke over and over?
“people who try to be cool are self centered assholes!”
HARDY HAR HAR, what a fucking cultural revalation!!!!
Generalizing and stereo typing is a sign of racism.
There is no argument on this so let me just cut all you dumb asses off at the pass. Change “white people” to Black people and this blog would be common place on a White power site.
By the way, for those of you who didn’t know……..There are MORE proven racist attacks by Black people on Whites then vice versa as per a justice department study which lists the most likely victim of a race crime as a single White person from the suburbs so roll that shit up and smoke it.
Source…..http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=48898
Then google the name of the study they list and roll in that shit for awhile while frantically trying to keep your head from being pulled out of your ass by actual information.
I totally agree when you say that our creativity goes BOOM into the sky. I recently went through a breakup, cried like hell, then I started writting many things about it, and I felt it was easy to do it.
Anyway it was good, helped me feel better.
Thanks for your post!
OMG Why kill each other like the way you’re all doing? O.O
the simplistic arguments about racism white people present just kill me. racism isn’t simply about stereotyping–though it thrives upon it. Racism is about having the power not only to create stereotypical representations and circulate them, but to actually ACT in a discriminatory way based upon those stereotypes. Hmmmm. . .let’s see. . .wait a minute. . .who has had this power in Western culture for the last 500 years? Who STILL has the economic and political power to discriminate against “Others” in ways far beyond a mildly amusing website (see posting about prison rates for people of color above). It isn’t that people of color are exempt from racism, but pretending that poking mild fun at upper class whites has the same impact culturally, socially, and economically as stereotypes about black intelligence, sexuality, etc. is just plain ignorant. What harm exactly does this “racist” site perpetrate against white people? Some hurt feelings? Hurt feelings just ain’t the same as a higher infant mortality rate, lower education rate, and a whole host of other legacies of slavery and segregation that undergird white privilege.
So, white people, stop crying into your nonfat, half-caf, soymilk latte, go look in the mirror, remind yourself of your white privilege. You’ll quickly feel better. Regardless of the fact that someone on the internet makes fun of your love for emo, your child will still get a better education, live longer, have a higher chance of owning a home, and be able to get on the subway without white ladies grabbing their purses all the damn time.
Whites get pissed when people assume they are anything less than splendid unique interesting individuals that everybody loves and reveres. It’s called white supremacy and you don’t need a shaved head or a hood to practice it.
This blog has nothing to do with liberal minded Anglo/Saxon Germanic types. And yes, I have eaten dog…with the rite sauce and a little bit of cheese…it’s pretty good going down…Unfortunately, this bid at comedy, is reminiscent of Louise Farahkan and the evil lying white people thing…it is not appreciated…and whatever your intent, which I think is to fracture the black voting bloc…I do not share the “white man guilt” about you people and never will again. It’s taken me decades and decades to get beyond the tolerable prejudice of the 60’s and 70’s, and your smack in the face is not appreciated…It’s unfortunate what you get for a curse…
Why is alright, nay, encouraged, that other races make fun of white people at naseum, but the second a white person says anything remotely racist about a minority, it is as though the worst of all slander has been committed?
White people are no longer the racist ones. I have experienced more racism from being white than any of my friends have experienced being ‘minorities.’
I’m not going to say white people are perfect and don’t have qualities to be ridiculed, but some of the people who have left comments seem to legitimately HATE white people for no reason. It is alright, apparently, to be blindly and blatantly racist against whites, but if someone were to start a blog paradying another race, there would be unrest and tremendous outcry; i’m sure it would be banned. This is completely unfair, and I do not understand this double standard.
But really, why waste time being racist at all?
Yeah, I bet all that racism you have experienced “for no reason” #142 have really hurt your stock portfolio.
cj,
I’m glad you’re finally awake, but no one ever thought you weren’t racist anyway. You never fooled anyone. Thanks for ceasing with the condescending, kindergarten multiculturalism, and going back to your family’s ways.
At least your grandma wasn’t so arrogant to think mixing “compassion” and political correctness with her racism would make her even more superior.
I will take it upon myself to properly interpret every item on this blog which has been intentially written derisively so as to provide humor at the expense of white people (and does a damn good job at it) however nothing is more white then using analytical thinking and logical deduction to counter incorrect assumptions while arguing just for the sake of arguing!
hence:
difficult breakups are a staple of white interpersonal relationships because of the strong emphasis white culture has placed upon the male female pair bond. virtually all of white culture (up until the social upheavel of the sixties) was based upon strong marriages which ensured the best possible child rearing situation and created social harmony.
this is true in other cultures as well btw, the lengths they go to in india or arabic countries to form solid family units is draconian compared to what white cultures have done however what is common for whites is what has become uniquely white.
social pressures as expressed in the post above which implies that break-ups are a bad thing is a left over from a time when men and women were expected to be together for life. it was not so long ago that a break up, especially with children, and in mid adult hood was a cause for social ostracism. lucky for so many it is now just an excuse to listen to sad songs.
as with any event with such important social consequences it should be expected that it be a source for artistic expression as it engenders a pain we all can identify with. when the end of male/female realtionships no longer brings any regret or unhappiness is a time that no one should be eager to live in.
So true.
You know what, I’m not even white, i’m an african living in the states, but i love this website! Good sense of humor! I had to add this to my blogroll! Wish i was this creative!
you know. This is the most stupid website I ever happened across! I am white, conservative, like about 3 things on your list, yet you claim to know about me. Typical spam! STOOPID
Wow…I gotta say…you’re a fuckin’ racist.
For every white guy who creates a wonderful piece of art right after a breakup, there’s a black guy who does the exact same thing. You’re an asshole. Welcome to the melting pot that is America. Whether you think you’re different because you’re black, and therefore, “different,” the truth is that we’re all pretty much culturally American now…black people are no “stronger” than white, and no more less or more likely to “thrive” on a breakup. In fact, if you wanted to go a step further into completely, utterly untrue racial stereotypes, you could point to a number of statistics that show that black men are more likely to commit rape, murder, and repress their women. If white people thrive on a breakup…well, I’d say it’s better than being a lying, cheating, murdering scumbag.
But then again…we’re talking about untrue racial stereotypes, right?
Fuckin’ racist.
Tiffiny
If it seems like white people don’t have enough modern culture, it’s because Vanilla Ice put white people back by 50 years.
The Goat has had some rough patches, not just in his fur, but also in his love life!
Check out this photo of the Goat’s last girlfriend:
She had your man lamenting. It’s the same feeling you get when someone sheers your wool off. You feel naked all over.
For real.
~The Goat…
Too true. Just broke up and my white friend send me the lyrics to Morrissey’s “The more you ignore me, the closer I get.” Timely on both counts.
Even if this is true, I think its unfair that you can post this. God forbid someone posted something like this about black people, they would get in a load of trouble and be accused of being racist.
everythingimnot.wordpress.com
visit
Yeah, speaking as someone who’s basically a twinkie (yellow on the outside, white on the inside), this blog was the height of hilarity. Also speaking as someone who lived in Billyburg, Brooklyn, and is living now in the vanguard of gentrification in Red Hook, Brooklyn, I really think this blog has down pat the majority of people I live with, i.e., hipsters and scensters. Also speaking as someone who lived for four years in the middle of a very flat and very white midwest state, this blog doesn’t describe the white folks who live there very well. But then again, the people lived in the Midwest tend not be agonized by their supposed racism, or were not even aware of it, which is what makes the hipsters and scensters on the coasts so hilarious when they try so hard to prove they are “post-racial”, and is what makes this blog so funny. I understand why people are upset by the stuff on this blog, but serious, if people make jokes about Asian people this elaborate and well thought out, and in most instances so dead on and eerily accurate, I’d laugh first and then get offended, and then laugh at myself for getting offended.
I know that during break up’s white people are famous for the “It’s not you. It’s me.” line…
White people do love to have bad breakups. as evidenced by this poor fellow:
apologies…here’s the white breakup victim, in all his glory:
OMG! I love the Smiths! And I’m white… go figure
Make sure to read Ask a Mexican! for the Mexican perspective on things–not that white people care!
Make sure to read Ask a Mexican! for the Mexican perspective on things–not that white people care!
That’s great. Breakups drive people to suicide (Read: Heath Ledger) and here you are poking fun at emotionally mature ways of handling things. know that when you go to sleep tonight, you’ve probably made it more likely that people will kill themselves because of your “cool” way of pointing out that they should be more reclusive. way to be witty!
this site has shown that white people are some angry folk. . .and are just boiling over with desire to have their Michael Richards moment and let their inner racist out. oh how far we’ve come.
People, laugh it off. Get over your false anger. The creators are white, so what is your excuse now for its creation? It’s funny as all hell.
yeah, your not talking about white people anymore.
your just talking about 20-30 hippies from soho/williamsburg.
that buy book ends at barnes and noble.
New favorite blog 🙂
Still though, the Smiths ‘Pretty Girls Make Graves’ is the best breakup song.
Oh Ilene, Ilene, are you trying to tell me something so soon in our relationship?
Oh Boy, that last paragraph about breaking up in another language was your best yet. It left me in stitches.
This blog should be called stuff Yupies like, not stuff white people like…
Keep up the good work!
White people like making fun of black people. Write about that.
AHAHAAH!!
I think I shall be visiting this blog more often.
while you have certainly nailed a truth, you have clearly missed something essential in this sentence: Implying that there things in the world more important to you than their breakup is considered one of the rudest actions possible.
Jim, the pompous ass that he is, is bold enough to launch an unprovoked attack on another’s grammar but fails to capitalize his own sentences! What does that tell you about the state of the world today!? I do not know, but I bet Jim thinks HE does. For shame…
Jimbo, friend, good use of caps on “HE” there. I like that.
maybe you should make a post on how uppity white people get about things? it’s a comedic blog, people. take a fucking joke. hell, i’d love it if there was a special things hispanics like post about tacky ass quinces in shitty ballrooms where everything is covered in pink and making new rooms in a house using only plywood and paint to mask it from the permit inspectors!
I love a good bit of irony, me. Some of your readers need to stand on a chair.The last paragraph : that’s the tone to keep to. Have you done one about pussies?
Shorter cj and iguessimwhite:
“We tried soo hard not to seem racist, but you, with your blog entries, have shown us it is futile. We’re going to be openly nasty, and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!”
Exactly the same mentality as the endless stream of “Nice Guys” saying:
“I’ve been doing my best to appear sensitive and kind, but you’re still not sleeping with me. You women all like men who treat them badly. Now, I’ll treat all women badly. It’s ALL YOUR FAULT!”
Another thing white people like: Making and reading pseudo-ironic websites which mock themselves. We white people love nothing more than being “able” to laugh at ourselves, to show that we are totally aware of how gimpy we actually are… Whilst this blog is funny, it dramatically falls upon it’s own sword.
Oh man, this site is so spot-on! I love it.
I definately feel where this siteholder is coming from. I myself fit the stereotype too on a couple of points (indiemusic, travelling, living by the water). It’s the tragedy of wanting to be too hip.
Worshiping Obama, diversity, other cultures and other forms of liberal idiocy are all things I dislike as a white person. But most white people love all these catchy, hip, tolerant, feel-good manifestations.
I would also add:
– collecting stuff (doesn’t matter what, especially records, dvds, books, et al)
– drinking bottled water
– internetdate denial
– hip clothing (especially expensive sh#t, no matter how ugly)
– skating (all forms)
– either hating and loving rapmusic in extremes — and arguing about it.
There should be such a site for all peoples, it’s hilarious.
White people, gotta love ’em!
@181
Oh, thinking about white people madness.
What about that old model-given-one-more-chance Janice Dickinson? What an embaressment she is to us whites!
She would love every single of the topics the siteholder mentions.
Jamaya, Buddha, Shiva, Hera, Mohammad, Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Teresa and all the other wise and worldly ones who have come before us – teaching & leading – are watching & wondering …
What WAY is THIS children?
Pain, fear, hate and mockery only begat more pain, fear, hate and mockery.
If it is your aim to teach and inform, then please, for the children’s sake, learn to teach and inform with love, not sarcasm. All aspects of your lessons go forward and pollinate as well as pollute. Use your words with great care. The are seeds and you are seeding the garden for tomorrow.
Peace. With passion.
At least whites make an effort. Statistically, most men of color don’t even show up when they find out they ho is pregnant. Then it’s on to the next one. Bill Cosby is right.
this blog is a lot funnier when you realize a white guy does it.
things you’ll never see on here engaged in by a demonstrable white majority
-hockey
-nascar
-coors
-conservative politics
-wall street
-polo
it’s okay to be a rich white conservative, but not a rich white liberal. personally i find both annoying. but it ain’t my blog is it?
Don’t forget to add Blogging.
[…] blog quips that difficult breakups are a White Man’s Burden (and joy). And there is a grain of […]
Like Chris Rock says, “If it’s all white, it’s alright!”
@Bug
Well rich white people are for the ages. They’ve always been here. Rich white liberals not so. They are to say: “new”.
Btw, what’s up with all the long white faces? I mean, we whites are not some bunch of disenchanted, chronically angry minority race hustlers, like the idiotic Al Sharpton?
Lighten the f.. up.
Boohoo, somebody on some blog said you tend to like stuff like “kitchen gadgets.” What kind of small mind gets upset about that. Get real.
PS White people like Oprah too!
Can we add Middle Eastern poetry to the list?
Yeah, white people even have a movie about breaking up. It’s called “The Break Up.” And I still can’t figure out why that movie was supposed to be interesting.
But maybe it’s a white thing. Let’s be honest though, how many non whites here ran out to the theater to see that piece of formulaic tripe?
Curious—is the blogger white, or just engaged in anthropological observation?
So what else is new? White people, unfortunately, hold the place at the top of the cultural ladder which leaves them the “privilege” of striving for a self-important, bloated form of laziness in just about everything. I can’t wait until the privileged classes are ultimately rendered subjects of necessity.
I love Chinese food and Sushi…
I hate rap music…
I’m confused…..
I didn’t find any of this blog amusing.
I thought we were all supposed to be working to find a way to “get along” and enjoy our differences. Not finding ways to degrade each other w/racial names and condescending “mightier than thou art” comments.
I am ashamed that people talk this way about anyone.
Sooooo true! Every serial dater I know is a white girl.
This blog is spot on.
Although I beg to differ on the Difficult Breakups post. It’s not just difficult breakups white people love, it’s that they CRAVE DRAMA. Which why they also like self-help books – they love to read about what’s wrong with themselves so that they can tell people what issue they are suffering from and trying to overcome. All because they crave drama and god forbid don’t want to be normal since normal = boring/uninteresting.
Then again, that could just be my own privileged white self-importance talking.
Mefeesh Moushkilla habibi!
wendy: you thought wrong :).
lighten up a little, girl! this is a great way to get people talkin’
Stuff Black People Like:
-Being Uneducated – actually the standard of white education is continuing to drop, whites go to college and become polysci majors.
-Guns – NRA perhaps?
-Rape – hmm I’m sure the statistics show Blacks with most rapes, fine you can have that point, but white guys are more clever with their rapes. The girl in question will always be drunk, and whether or not an actual crime has been committed will be hazy.
-Stealing – in Europe, especially England, white burglary has increased by incredible amounts in the last 40 years.
-General Crime – see above
-Money – what type of nonsense is this? So whites dont like money?
-Escalades – ill take your escalade, replace it with SUVS or luxury cars, white people love to use cars for status.
-Crack – and whites have white powder, only reason crack looked so bad is because it was unfairly punished harsher than powder, Congress recently admitted this fact, and has granted pardons for crack users. If the punishments had been similar, there would have been A LOT MORE whites in jail for cocaine use.
-AIDs – can give you this, but remember white homosexuals
A lot of this is wonderfully spot-on, but I was rather sobered by “Awareness” — because it made me think, hey, EVERY FREAKIN’ DARFUR ACTIVIST I KNOW IS WHITE!
Wow, guys.
This blog describes me in many respects: white, educated, vegan. I’m concerned about the environment we live in, I listen to NPR, and I aspire to owning a hybrid car–as soon as I start my new job as a professor.
I think this blog is pretty funny, whether it’s directed at me or not, and whether the people who write it are laughing with me or laughing at me. The worst response to stuff like this is allowing it to make you feel ashamed for who you are and what you enjoy. Taking a blog like this too seriously is a waste of your time–think about it: just because a lot of other people share your values doesn’t mean that your values aren’t important.
The only thing worse than not having a good time is having people tell you that you don’t deserve to have a good time–especially when your having a good time is consistent with not stepping on other’s toes. Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise. Why hang your head because somebody points out that all your actions aren’t unique? I know a very unique guy that lives under the overpass two blocks over and is covered in shit and piss.
do you know what makes a breakup harder? the fact that niggers can vote.
It is assumed that white people have no culture of their own, but we do. Its not a rich broth of soup or a hearty stew, its more like tepid water with a bit of salt. (That’d be our salty salty tears). In actuality, we are so culturally naked that we often adopt the cultural markings of other ethnicities, like hermit crabs adorning ourselves with the cast off shells of other cultures. Who hasn’t been to a Celtic white wedding with a Native American theme, where they jump a broom and then step on a shot glass?! The traditional wedding march IS our cultural heritage, but Havah Nagilah sounds so much cooler!
If we are embarrassed by this blog its because we don’t like the vanilla pabulum of our culture revealed. We are so cold and vulnerable without out gossamer thin veneer. Truth be told: white culture is Hollywood, and California, and being pretty confused about who we ethnically, or being grateful we’re not different, like ‘those people over there’. Its all these posts, both lame and incisive, and its definitely this blog. Don’t kid yourself fellow white person; given the changing demographics of the country you better get used to laughing at yourself.
Man I guess it really is true that white people over analyze everything. The site is supposed to be funny, I couldn’t stop laughing. People need to stop taking everything so seriously. I’m not really sure where all the racist comments are coming from though. Lighten up.
I am not kidding when I say this…this is the first blog that I’m subscribing to. Do not stop writing about this, EVER!
You certainly know a lot about white people. I imagine you probably know a lot about non-white people too. How else would you be able to tell that someone wasn’t white? Lol. I think you should start a complimentary blog where you describe what non-white people like as well. I mean, if it turns out that there are different factions among people of color, you could break them down. You are good at that. I assume people of color have more “diverse” interests anyway! LOL! Tell us! Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!
I meant that so much that I typed each word individually!
And you should start a blog about what people of color and white people don’t like, too! And if they have any shared interests, maybe you could do that too.
Don’t mind the haters.
I think this blog is brilliant!!!!!
I didn’t know it was possible to out-hack hacky comedy, but you’ve managed to do it. Congratulations on bringing the internet back to The Chuckle Hut circa 1986. Hard hitting topics. Next post: What’s up with airplane food?
You go straight to the point. Love it. If only we all had the ability to see our own lives the way you see it!
If it is the way you say it is, then i firmly believe that I’m highly jealous of all white people who are not disregarded or ignored or some such, once they have had a breakup.
I’ve finally figured this website out. I don’t care what race this author is, but, man, you’re a genius.
Ok, read closely now: All these generalizations about white people are exactly what white people have been doing with minorities over the past hundred years in order to “understand” these foreigners better. More so, when a white person tries to generalize these ideas in public, they’re thrown to the sharks. In private, these generalizations still happen and white people take it as the truth because they don’t have any other valid source of evidence. Thus is born the stereotype.
The funniest part of this blog though, is the replies, especially from indignant white people who disagree so strongly. Do these generalizations apply to absolutely all white people? Of course not. Do they apply to some? Your fellow white people have said so themselves.
But do other white people still comment to complain about how inaccurate each and every one of these posts are? Hell yes they do because although stereotypes undeniably have their truth, you can’t apply them to individuals without pissing people off.
So here’s some of your own medicine, white people: calm down, it’s just a joke. I get it, you’re not some monolithic group with a single mentality that can be privy to stereotypes and generalizations, whether they be good or bad. At least you’re not stuck with buck teeth and a small penis.
The next post should be that white people love political correctness. Oh, and welcome to our world.
The Smiths should never have been allowed to record in the first place. It is entirely Morrisey’s fault that we are laughed at by all non-pasty people! Smiths=bad. Maybe a little Bjork instead eh?
Well, I don’t get this one. Oh well, can’t understand em all. 😉
“It’s so easy to laugh
It’s so easy to hate
It takes guts to be gentle and kind”
I think I’ll stick with the Smiths on this one.
I’m sure programmes like Friends contribute to the behaviour associated with white break-ups!
Wow, this is so funny and true! I think everyone has been the heartbroken one, and the one who’s trying to help someone heartbroken. I’ve never read such a funny satire of this.
Improv-Dating
Performance by Timothy Lone
Acting improvisation workshop to break the ice
Free drink
…
[…] – Hunter Walker Fake Nick Denton ISO A Real Naked Cowboy – Fake Nick Denton Difficult Breakups – Stuff White People Like Hot For John McCain’s Wife – Vince Veneziani Hiding From The Wife, In The Backyard – New York […]
You negelcted to mention the thoughts (and sometimes acts) of taking their anger out on the general public in the form of a semi-automatic weapon…usually in a highly occupied place, such as a school, church, post office….or even the thoughts of starting their own religion (cult) to counter for the love lost. Creativity.
Peaches suggests fucking the pain away…but then again I don’t thing that was about the pain of a difficult breakup. Guess creativity remains the opitimal choice here.
This is totally the picture from the – I lost a girl friend for drinking too much beer campagn for Miller beer! The only thing I regret is I can’t find the photo right now to post!!!!!!!!!
this is every people. not just white people. at least in the states!
Breakups are the mother’s milk of Country Music. This “white” genre would die without them.
It’s quite ironic that a blog about White people would draw so many non-white commenters. Do they secretly wish they were White? Do they hate the fact that they are non-white? Would they like to eliminate Whites? Or just the White males? Are they envious of Whites? Do they covet White things? Is it self-contempt because they have been given so much, and done so little with it? Have they bought into class warfare and “tax the rich”[White people] propaganda too many times? Do they believe that their lives would be better if White people would “go away” or “die” or something?
The non-white opinions expressed here speak for themselves.
As a blonde-haired-blue-eyed-devil White man I see the fear and loathing of me on the faces of non-whites everyday.
The communists in the government have done a wonderful job with “diversity.” See how color blind we all are.
I don’t want to read your poem.
This is a friendship breaker. Do NOT ever say this, even in jest, to a white person you value as a friend. They will never look at you the same way again.
Of course, us colored folk write poetry too, but it’s called different things and it usually comes with a musical beat behind it. When white folk try to do it the way we do, we try our hardest not to laugh because the results usually aren’t too good. We do allow you to have Enimen though. That should suffice, shouldn’t it?
I can tell by comments in this thread, I have “readership”. Telling about the person, what they choose to share to prove such. Creepy, it’s!
@Rex
Although I love this blog and many respondents are way, way too sensitive, I have to say that you’re saying something true here. Indeed, every non-white I meet, acts in very Western ways.
White people pay most taxes, absolute and relative, in the country, admit millions of third worlders who would else live in miserable hellholes, build free, modern societies, offer aid to the poor — even against better judgement — and give minorities the kind of rights most third world majorities lack.
Somehow, I don’t think whites are that bad.
There’s never any sense of gratitude or even some admiration for the culture whites have built for all to enjoy. Actually, it’s more the opposite: they tend to hate our guts and blame society for all they deem imperfect.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect non-whites to celebrate whites for just being white. That would be silly. It would be nice, if they didn’t dislike us so much. I always assumed tolerance to be a two-way street.
OTOH, I kind of don’t care anymore. I’m a bit past caring for non-whites’ irrational dislikes. If they don’t like me for what and who I am..hey, well, don’t like me. Your loss, not mine.
Straight white people! Let’s get a little more specific here.
@Satsuma
What do you want to know?
I never disliked non-whites and frankly still don’t. I would date, and have dated women of colour — Indonesian, Aruban, Chinese — and would do so again, was it not for the fact that I already am in love.
I believe it’s best to judge every human being by his/ her character. That said, that’s not what I encounter towards myself as a white male. As a white privileged bourgeois class enemy of non-white proletarians, I’m supposed to be responsible for all what’s wrong with the world, both in the West and abroad. I’m getting tired of being stereotyped as one of the boogeymen of society and history — I’m not alone on this one. Many, many white males agree.
We don’t get it. Are we somehow collectively guilty of what our forefathers did to other peoples’ forefathers? Okay, fine. We’ve tried “sorry”, but that didn’t work. So, what now? Should we pay 5-10-20-40% of our wages for redemption? Would that do the trick? Y’know, so our sons are off the hook. Suggestions are welcome.
If Westerners are so bad, evil, hegemonic, oppressive and inherently institutionalised racist, then why come to the West? Why bother? I don’t get it. And because I never got that, I stopped caring. What’s the use?
PS Well, that was a bit of serious turn. I’m kind of surprised myself here. I have to take my own advice: lighten up.
OK, I will.
What about all them white people in Apallachia? Seems to me they don’t like any of this shit.
You should add love of Jews and Israel b/c of guilt for past wrongdoings!
man, that is SO funny and so true. I love this site!
[…] winter. At this point they’re reaching anyway and need to put it to rest… case in point #70. Stick a fork in yourselves kids, because you’re done. Difficult breakups? Yeah, nothing says […]
I really hate it when the niggers at work stink up the office w/ their McDonalds food.
Sarah, hun, I’m sorry but any assertion that begins “I watch cops and …” is bogus from the get go.
(I apologized. Can you tell I’m white? I do it to add authenticity to my language. I flicked my wrist while I typed that. Doing my best Ru Paul.)
gahhhhh – its a JOKE !
of course the color of your skin has nothing to do with personality traits , and anyone who believes that is a MORON
this blog is a joke – im black and half of this stuff applies to me
anyways the “white” people spoken of here are really just young hipsters – but i guess the name whatyounghipterkidslike isnt as catchy
🙂
[…] Oh, and to help me survive in the big white north, my cousin-in-law Nick (who is white) sent me a link to a great blog about what white people like. I’ve learned so much already! My favorite entry so far is #70 – Difficult Breakups. […]
Just for the record. Brown dudes do beards better. It’s just one of those truths and once you accept it and move on you’ll find yourself on the side of the street where the sun is always shining and if some asshole with a Kuffiyeh says “Hey I hear Jewish girls give great head?” check with your Beard-metre and if the answer is yes do your part for peace in the middle east.
Also and in IMHO it’s the inter-racial break-ups that are the fucking worst, talk about miscommunication.
-said like a white girl.
me and my boyfriend will probly never break up because we are too defined by our relationship, more on that some other time. and you know what else? everyone likes us and we practically don’t like ANYONE. sucks doesn’t it. so righty whitey to be like that. I realize that now.
I actually think this site might be 20-30 something hipsters from Soho mocking 20-30 something hipsters from Soho. I think that what those white people like is making fun of white people.
(guilty)
[…] Apparently white people like difficult breakups. […]
I mean… I’m in the middle of one right now. Damn you SWPL!
I’m not white, i’m 3 parts irish cream and 1 par amaretto – this is all true
very, very true. can I nominate the movie “garden state” for a spot on this list? it deals with whites feeling oh so sad and confused about their comfortable lives. so annoying and boring
Lol as a white person I have a lot of experience and I must agree.
I am totally linking to your blog.
Keep up the good work!!
“I don’t want to read your poem.” Hilarious!!
I’m not sure if you guys are aware of this or not but white people loooove attempting suicide. seriously! or at least contemplating it during a bad break-up.
RiverC- you try entirely too hard. Start up your own blog to sustain your craving for random feedback. You comb through these comments forming what you consider to be witty rejoinders before you even read the comments all the way through.
And re: Zonk Baraba
Dude, white people really suck don’t they.
____________________
— Yes, we do. Yes, we do !!!
____________________
I’m sorry. Some people just really don’t know how to tip,
do they?
_________________________
— Seriously? I’ve always heard that black people are horrible tippers!
Whites have the least amount of illegitimacy. In 2007, the black illegitimacy rate reached and astounding 69%, and the “family values” Hispanics hit 45%!
Yeah, you got that right, 7 out of 10 blacks you see walking around, and in da clubs and bars, don’t have a male parent.
Or, “I don’t want to read your poem.”
LOL.
What I love about this site is that a lot of the stuff is true and describes my friends and I perfectly. Although most of it is exaggerated (like FRIENDS and whatnot), a lot of the stuff is dead-on!
OMG I’m soo white!! I love breakups and do them often
White people also like say they’ll “still be friends” after a difficult break up. I’m sure you’re going to get to this one eventually.
nick:
many of the third worlders that “white people” admit pay high taxes too and contribute greatly to this country’s brain power. and pretty soon they will be the ones “admitting” poor unfortunate souls living in hell holes into this country. trust me, the poor in other countries are still more worldly than a lot of sad sad people who haven’t taken a second to look around THEIR OWN COUNTRY at the doctors at the hospital, the professionals in general who speak with accents and do great work.
I am in the middle of a difficult breakup right now. So thank you for making me feel ridiculous, it really does help. I’m going to go post this on my Facebook page now. I wish I was kidding.
If black people don’t have difficult breakups, it is because so many just have sex & never have a relationship. In fact the black community seems to be populated by people starting a relationship by having a baby! It is nasty & injurious to everybody. Then the bossy black b-holes acts like they are running everything when they are not smart enough to not get knocked up by someone they met on the street!
http://www.originalpranksta.com/resources/audio/03.m3u
“I don’t want to read your poem.”
I NEVER want to read your poem!
excellent post.
Hee hee…listen to the Smiths…it’s funny cause it’s true.
Wow! I wondered why I never got white people……especially the premise for most of their films. Thanks for helping a sista out!
I think you are speaking of rich white people.
TRUE – The difficult breakup is key to any good relationship and an absolute requirement if you ever want to clear out all that shit you have in your apartment
This focucus on the white community is irrelevant to the black community. How many black children are born out of wedlock and how much violence is black on black. It is past time to rag on the white man and start improving our own lives
Hey, Anonymous, that’s a good idea for a post!
White people think they can pretend to be black on the internet, and that nobody will be able to tell the difference.
When it comes to Breaking up white people seem to always want people to feel bad about them. You always see in movies how white people will cry watching a romance film with a carton of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream. In the article they are saying that white people make a big deal about everything. And they want everything to be about them.
You cannot make up a general assumption about relationships or any situation based on their skin color. Their are whites who go through the same things as blacks. Their are russians who go through what mexicans go through. Everyones the same and everyone is human.
White people aren’t the only people that have problems. Every other race has problems with there boyfriend/girlfriend. Everyone gets hurt by someone they care about at least one time in his or her life. White people that think they are the only people that have problems mite think that they are the only people that important.
I think that its not only white people that do this. Mostly everyone has their friends that “don’t want them to be alone” of course they wouldn’t. But then again there are friends who are just irritated with the fact that you can’t just hurry up and get over it. Maybe they’re irritated because your boring when usually your fun. Sometimes friends get jealous because usually they’re the ones who get all the attention. Some people just try to act normal and just get over it, although some people just want the attention for once. So they use this as an excuse. Difficult breakups are so complicated.
You cant make a generalization based on someones skin color. Regardless to what nationality you are everyone has difficult break ups. Everyone handles different situations in different ways. Making an assumption based on someones skin color is wrong because everyone is different. White people arent the only ones who prepare them selves for bad break ups. Everyone does certain things to prepare them selves for break ups. Different people give different advice. God made everyone different for a reason so just because someone is a certain color dont mean that they will do certain things.
I think that white people take it to the max with their breakups. Some people cant get over it and it’s hard to get over relationships because you were in love with that person and developed so much feeling but at the same time someone in that relationship wanted a change and they couldn’t live up to the expectations that they devoted to. People that are in a long term relationships are going to take more time to get over it but it’s best for them to try to move on because they have so much more to accomplish than just sobbing around and thinking crying is going to make everything better when all it does is make you more depressed. People have different point of views to relationships and others can get over it faster because of the way they think. It’s all mind over matter.
wasupp bloood
[…] I probably don’t need to tell you about it. But just take a gander at this article about Difficult Breakups. Prior to engaging in divorce, most white people train for it by engaging in a series of long term […]
This site is spot on. The funniest posts are from white people who want to throw in racial slurs towards other races who happen to be reading this blog. Do you honestly think calling black people niggers really has any effect anymore? I am black, went to a white all boys private school and then to an Ivy League school. I have been called a nigger by other white classmates, teachers, police officers, friends, complete strangers and I’m sure by many others whom I will never meet. It’s just funny to me. Porchmonkey and jiggaboo are also good ones. I have also seen some insightful posts about the white power structure, and how much damage can really be done to race relations by a site like this. I was working on the street in the city and started my own informal discussion/blog on race relations, politics and the like. The term reverse racism is again fucking hilarious to me. In order to be racist, you have to have some sort of power within the society you live in order to punctuate your statements or actions. All races can be discriminatory, but not racist. For instance, I can say I hate white people and will do everything in my power to hold them back. This is a discriminatory statement. My white counterpart can say the same statement, but it is considered discriminatory as well as racist. Why? Because he is part of the power structure. My statement nor any statement and dare I say action made by any minority can not affect the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness of any white person in this country. Same thing goes for the sexes. In my opinion, it is impossible for a woman to be sexist. She can be discriminatory against men, but not sexist. Why? Discriminatory actions or statements made by women don’t affect the male power structure. I know this will inevitably lead to the affirmative action debate which I also love. I won’t go the rout of the purpose of higher education is to gather people with varied experiences and backgrounds for a robust exchange of ideas while following a set of rules (curriculum in the case of education) I will say that I am for the abolition of affirmative action if we can ensure that there will be equal funding and resources for schools everywhere. I am from Baltimore, and my public school teachers begged my mom to put me in private school for Baltimore City schools are some of the worst in the country. (I know some of you watch The Wire. Check out Season 4) Meanwhile public schools in suburban DC are some of the best in the country? Same state, vastly different public school systems? Do you think this difference is purely due to a difference in economics and not on the racial makeup of the two areas in anyway? As for the particular topic of bad breakups, I have seen them from all races. I have gone out with women of all races, and most if not all of my breakups have been amicable. However, the most drama I had to deal with was when the relationships ended with white women. I had one whose boyfriend (they recently got together) pulled a gun on me and threatened to slash my achilles tendon. Mind you, this was a white dude with cornrows and two diamond studs in his ears. That was an experience. I am not friends with her anymore. There was another gal who was Jewish. After we split, she took up spoken word poetry and an alternative form of rap (my favorite music) called trip hop. She invited me to one of her shows in which she sobbed and moaned about loss and the meaning of life over a strange beat. Very weird. We are still friends. I had another gal who was also white who split up with me and it kind of hurt me a little bit even though I wouldn’t admit it. I tend to easily self medicate with blunts, alcohol and the company of another intelligent, pretty lady. I had one girl key my car and incessantly text message me about how we would be perfect for one another and should be together. She was black. I even had one girl who would tell me that while she enjoyed the sexual part of our relationship, I never tried to reach her emotionally like her ex- girlfriend. (She was bi and Jewish) I think relationships and how people deal with them are more personal than racial. On another note, white people do have a remarkably personal relationships with dogs. I have seen some disgusting things, and if you don’t believe me, Michael Vick can tell you how much white people love dogs.
P.S. I’m still friends with the girl who cut me up. She actually introduced me to this blog. I feel like all of the worlds “ills” could be easily cured if people would burn one and reflect on what they have and not what they lost or hwat they wish they had.
The dog thing is 100 percent truth. I know I should be posting on the dog topic, but white people, kissing your dog on the mouth, letting the dog sleep in your bed, and letting your dog eat from the table is perplexing to black people. There are black dog lovers, but we don’t take it there.
Someone also earlier posted on the rate of unwed pregnancy in the black community. If you look at the numbers on abortion, you will see that they are inordinately slanted in the favor of white women. The stories that have been revealed to me about girls having abortions in the two all girls schools that were literally across the street from me are well documeneted within our litle close knit community. We (black people) tend to have our babies whether they are under the best circumstances or not. My mom raised me and my brother by ourselves and we turned out more than alright. Dr. Ben Carson (black doctor who performed the first succesful surgery on conjoined twins) was also raised by his mom. One strong parent is much better than two weak ones.
You Didn’t!! I love tough break ups!! Can’t wait to have another one!! Will I ever be original?
What makes you think Smiths fans (white or otherwise) have circles of friends?
Why do white people have difficult breakups? In a few words, white men have no idea how to be truly sorry for being dicks. I have had a divorce after 18 yrs of marriage and a two yr relationship that recently broke up. Neither of these losers ever could say”I’m sorry” it was either”It wasn’t my fault, it was the alcohol” or “I knew I would regret that”. Is that even close to an apology? Not in my dictionary.
White guys always think that there are other women out there who will “do them”. Even when faced with the facts, they live in their narcissistic fantasy worlds. I say good riddance. Yes, I am white, tall, very attractive with long black hair.
Moving on to my current relationship(with a Japanese guy of all things), we always are talking about where we are, where we are going,etc. He is the first one to apologize even if I might have been a bit pissy. In the end, white guys need to earn a little more respect and us girls need to demand it back. They are not the end all. Period.
[…] get enough of living by the water (#51), snowboarding (#31), Michel Gondry (#68), or, sigh, difficult breakups (#70): The suffering of heartbreak is universal, but it is important to be aware that white people thrive […]
[…] from ‘Stuff White People Like‘ on dealing with people who’ve just ended a relationship: It is imperative that you do […]
[…] Read more about why white people like breakups at Stuff White People Like… Post Comment Most Popular Daily Dish […]
[…] X#70 Difficult Breakups […]
oh my GAWD! to this very day i don’t speak to a (white) friend and a (white) ex-boyfriend whom i had the guts to call them out on their center-of-attention, whiny, constant state of luxurious victimhood. sometimes its really shocking for white people to hear that the world doesn’t come to a screeching halt because they have problems.
[…] 5, 2008 · No Comments Yep – it’s stuff white people like. Fuck. Why do I have to be so cliche? I mean I was already feeling stupid for being upset about a […]
Ok Ok!! We ALL suck, cuz we are aprt of the same human race. Damn. Damn.
277,
Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man
And so is Lola
La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola
it’s so dead on. i’m a black girl living on dormitory floor of predominantly white kids…and when they’re having relationship issues, they love to dwell on them. they love to be depressed and bitch about it.
on the other hand, the only 5 relationships that seem to be THRIVING involve a white person and a minority. apparently, if a white person dates someone who isn’t white, they have the best relationship they’ll ever have.
3 cheers interracial couples…
I don’t really understand what’s wrong with having genuine feelings for someone as opposed to instantly dismissing the person you’ve lost and finding someone else. If you’re still in real pain, being told to move on accomplishes nothing.
Also I dated, broke up with, and got back together with a Korean boy recently. I haven’t really noticed that he’s less oblivious than white guys, and the way he broke up with me was pretty insensitive. And yes, he participated fully in the extensive post-break-up misery and long pensive talks and brooding.
He’s probably white after all.
Once again, never been to the south.
LMFAO!
You are so right on about everything! I’ve just gone through a breakup with my ex-boyfriend. He initiated. He wants to be free. Translation: he wants to be a man-whore and fu<k as many women as possible. His friends started hanging out with me, making sure I’m ok. They’d buy me dinner and take me out to “cheer me up” while listening to me tell them how much I missed him. (Which was true for a while until the ex suggested a FWB thing…)
The funny thing is, my ex hasn’t moved on yet and I’m meeting new guys while using him for sex until I find someone I’m horny enough for to replace his sorry butt. Gotta love the FWB clause.
LMFAO!
You are so right on about everything! I’ve just gone through a breakup with my ex-boyfriend. He initiated. He wants to be free. Translation: he wants to be a man-whore and fu<k as many women as possible. His friends started hanging out with me, making sure I’m ok. They’d buy me dinner and take me out to “cheer me up” while listening to me tell them how much I missed him. (Which was true for a while until the ex suggested a FWB thing…)
The funny thing is, my ex hasn’t moved on yet and I’m meeting new guys while using him for sex until I find someone I’m horny enough for to replace his sorry butt. Gotta love the FWB clause.
like the Dane Cook standup where he’s like:
You both know after a week that its not working out…but instead you decide Lets drag this out for 3 months and end it violently!
Nice enough site, but some of the things in this blog (like #70) can apply to non-whites too. Difficult breakups are not exclusive to whites, come on……
http://www.thelogicgirl.com
This is my break up artwork. sniff sniff, wimper, wimper
http://www.eddiearroyo.com
At first all this “stuff” came across as mildly amusing but it’s important to know when to say when.
To paraphrase Dr. Samuel Johnson, I find this blog both original and funny. Unfortunately the parts that are original are not funny and the parts that are funny are not original.
The shitload of comments that accompany each derivative entry are starting to buckle the roof over self-indulgent heads. Run! Save yourselves! Hold out hope that brain cells once destroyed can regenerate.
(White people like being the first to become disillusioned with trendy LOL satire. Simultaneously they can feel superior for saving a handful of white people enlightened enough to climb out of the dated dork pit before it’s too late while performing a hipsterectomy on the majority without benefit of anesthetic. The latter operation fulfills the ultimate aspiration of white people – playing God.)
I’ve made a career out of breaking up and moving on! I am a white, single gal in her mid 30’s. I have never been married, engaged once. I write short stories and am writing a novel based on my personal experiences.
Gosh, I’m so, very white! =}
I read this in bed with my black boyfriend. I had just ordered a Wes Anderson film from Netflix on my MacBook, while dressed in a film festival T-shirt, and was about to get up and make some coffee and feed organic vegetarian food to my gifted children.
Really.
Made our day.
🙂
Where is the entry about white women loving black men and all the Mandigo reasons they do.
I am a white man, I really enjoyed this, I caught myself laughing outloud a few times however, I can’t stand singing comedians. That stuff makes me crazy. Other than that, this was great.
Our contributor Sharon Wright (?) who posted comment number 296 has published a critically acclaimed collection of short stories entitled “Safe Sex.” Her first novel, “The Forty-Year Old Virgin” is slated for publication in the Spring of 2012.
Score points with your friend devasted by a difficult breakup by consoling him with the quaint French phrase “Force de frappe.” Spring this bilingual erudition on him as you are about to enjoy an expensive caffeinated beverage purchased at Starbucks on the poor wretch’s nickel. When he looks quizzically at you, gently say: “the words mean, ‘coffee heals a broken heart.'”
[…] It is funny because it is true: The suffering of heartbreak is universal, but it is important to be aware that white people thrive during these trying times. If you play your cards right, you can parlay these moments into future favors and valuable trust.The majority of white person art is created after a difficult breakup; films, indie music, and poetry are all kicked into high production during the end of a relationship. This helps train white people to prepare for the pain that is coming. stuffwhitepeoplelike […]
What about personal organizers? White people love those.
Bad advise. Do not allow yourself to be cornered by a needy person in break up mode. After the last tear and some distance from the beloved has been established, the break-ee will be embarrassed by all the sensitive information they forced on you. Future alliances?, forget it. They will avoid you at all cost, run from you at parties and never return the favor.
Oh yea, and don’t give advise. If break-ee should make up with the beloved they will hold your advise such as “your to good for him , she’s a rat etc.” against you. White people are predictable that way.
I am white and sad. Do any black people want to give me a hug?
Well, I know the white boyfriend who just dumped me will be sorry when I wave my MFA in his face, delete the finale of “The Wire” from his TiVo and burn his vintage Cure t-shirts.
Seriously. Stop stalking me.
dammit… so true. i too will shamefully take my best of smiths cds out of rotation…
This unfortunately describes me perfectly. Hilarious!
OMG RiverC! I never thought of posting a comment on a comment I wrote after no one else had responsed. I am so doing that to make me feel better! I will have to resolve to check for a comment first over a certain amount of time….24 hours? whaddaya think?
My favorite line is the one about art being kicked into “high production”. Oh Lord- so true!
I love the part in every blog about gaining the trust of white people…like we are planning on taking over the world and anyone who we think is untrust-worthy will be killed.
Anyway you put it…it’s hilarious!
For women, make sure to cut your hair and/or dye it that semi-fake-ish reddish color.
Because that will somehow change your personality.
Is this really specific to white people?? What about all those Soul Food type movies?
Look here…
This site is mediocre at best. It is mildly entertaining. Half of the items on this list are garbage. The effort and thought put into this list is pretty embarrassing.
if you want some actual funny entertainment/blog/writing/insightful/great stuff
http://www.garbarrassing.com
go for it.
Dear People w/o a Sense of Humor,
This blog mocks racism. It’s fantastic. If you don’t recognize that, you are being mocked. Sorry bout it. If that confuses you, I’m sorry.
Love,
Whitey
my friend goes through difficult breakups, she likes to process her emotions verbally for about 6-8 months after the actual date of the breakup.
I,ve been in a particularly bad relationship with your mother .Haha I ridiculed you!
Every time one of my friends goes through a difficult break up I want to punch them in the nuts/ovaries for adding drama to my life.
I hate difficult breakups and I hate people that sleep with their exes after they are broken up.
White people love breaking up because it gives them the chance to be the witty, dramatic people they idolize in the psuedo-indie movies they love so much.
I say, pimps up, hoes way down, fuck a bitch if she leaves you because there are so many more out there. If she wants that drama, don’t sweat it, just leave her and play it cool.
…Also, who are the Smiths?
More than one ‘Mad Man/Boy Dog’ has nailed one of the Ex’s girlfriends,roommates out of spite.
Funny. Maybe when you evolve a bit more Rashawn you will realize there are people who do not CARE if you are laughing WITH them or AT them—as long as you are laughing. Lighten up–your comment already proved you are not superior–as YOU seem to think….(hee hee hee..HEE HEE HEE)
” so feel free to try and pin some of your racist bigotry on me, cocksucker.”
So why four BLACK prison inmates?
“This posting and the blog as a whole is a) stereotyping and b) racist.”
REALLY? And EBONY, the United NEGRO College Fund, etc etc. aren’t racist??
sheesh. let everyone be EQUALLY made fun of for Gods’ sake!! PS “whit???”
Excuse me if I missed the sarcasm, but:
You’re telling me that although you’re in grad school (I doubt it), a fucking blog changed your paradigm? As you say it, your whole character was hinged on gaining acceptance (another white person quality), but now you’ve quit because you’re not getting a pat on the head anymore. Maybe you should still do the charitable shit you wanted to do, but instead of doing it for Angelina Jolie reasons (I hate that chick), do it because you love to;)
“If you are lucky enough to speak a second language, …… happy to be learning a new sentence that they can reuse to with their friends.”
::slow, respectful, tight lipped clapping::
[…] #70 Difficult Breakups […]
Other things white people like related to difficult breakups would be:
*Emotional baggage (you got picked last for kickball in 4th grade, which you blame your lack of success in adulthood)
*Therapy (related: therapists, psychology, psychiatry, group therapy, anti depressants)
*Daddy problems (for white girls)
This is bullshit! There is never an excuse to listen to The Smiths!
It’s true. We’re so white we collect breakup letters (http://www.e-closure.com) Ooo… hilarious joke coming up on Arrested Development, gotta go.
I pooped my pants
[…] #70 Difficult Breakups […]
[…] #70 Difficult Breakups […]
So true, but you have to learn how to pick the right guy in the first place!
http://howtopicktherightguy.wordpress.com/
ahahahahaha good one
Oh man, that was brutally on point, but so necessary. I just had a rough break up with my girlfriend and now I feel like a stereotype and a encyclopedia statistic, maybe more like a foot note or something. You’d think that we’d be too embarrassed after all that’s been said to prove ’em right with one more comment, but you just can’t be anonymous when the whole world revolves around your white little head now can you!
Break up art
Break up Experimental Music Track
And some more shameless self promotion:
Bongani’s Blog: filled with all the goodies of post-break up verbiage
Me too 😦
this one is not exactly on-point. look at music. most modern black non-hip hop non-gospel music (i include in this black music made by white people, i.e. timberlake) consists of utterly retarded lyrics about stupid breakups
where the people at the forefront of white people music – joanna newsom, radiohead – rarely if ever sing about looove. that is the preserve of “wrong kind of white people” music like, i dunno, dashboard confessional or some shit
Does a difficult breakup include being kidnapped, enslaved and separated from your loved ones for at least 500 years?
http://www.survival-international.org
P.S. Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like Truth, Equality, and Justice?
Yeah. Every white person I’ve heard mention their affection for the show says they “like to see people worse off” than them. Isn’t that sadistic?
crazy
Haha this is funny because it is TRUE
They break up and get into new relationships
and break up again over and over again!
Every new break ups are such a drama
and attention seeking period!
ooh, are you from new york?
just hipsters in general. this site is more like stuff hipsters like.
lol
This article reminds me of someone at my job. For 2 years, part of our job performance included listening to endless tales regarding the separation/custody war/divorce. We were subject to re-runs of the same story if new people walked by and were not fortunate enough to be present during the earlier broadcast. Simply asking how they were doing would activate the “rewind” and “play” buttons and it would be told again. I used to feel bad for thinking that they almost seemed to be enjoying it.
I’m half-white, and I’ve never broken up with anyone (thank God), because I married the only girl I’ve gone out with.
Haha lol yeah ‘white people got no rhythm’ – whatever. On the other hand, white people are extremely good at engaging voraciously in pursuits of scientific intellect and advancement, such as studying the intricate workings of the human body and curing complex diseases and developing and mastering technology (including every last component of the very Internet and computer you used to post your comment and even the letters of the alphabet). So you can have your “being good at rhythm”, enjoy it if it makes you feel better, but I have news for you, whites don’t care.
There is always an excuse to listen to The Smiths.
Actually I’m white and I have rythm and I like delving into scientific concepts as well.
This category is a stretch unless you’re from L.A. or New York. and contrary to Entertainment tonight that is not most of the country.
into the heart of whiteness
The last paragraph is a classic. Ha!
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
RiverC, you are my new favoritest white person!
WATCH IT!
I love DC… Chris Carrabba, I want to make you my bitch
LOL
Well, this is where the white half of me checks out. I hate breakups! I HATE them… I hate them so much I once broke up with someone over MSN! I HATE THEM. As far as I’m concerned, if he’s not beating you or screwing someone else, you can work it out. Anything to avoid a messy, painful breakup!
I hate the drama of breakups too! I’d rather stay happily together and NOT get the attention, thanks!
The black also seems to enjoy the difficult breakup with his b1tches until that sheet end up on ‘Cheaters’. Then it tips into ‘focked up’, which is not quite dislike as far as I can tell.
This may be the most universally correct item on the list!!! Well, after coffee of course…
“Prior to engaging in divorce, most white people train for it by engaging in a series of long term relationships that end very poorly. At some point, you will likely encounter a white person who is in the middle of a difficult breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend.”
What the fuck is your problem Everyone breaks up doesn’t matter what race they are and at least some of us don’t just carry about fucking every peice of ass you can get and knocking bitches up………
dude this is totally written by white people… let it go!
give joshlin a break, he’s going thru a difficult break up right now.
raise your hand if you’re affraid of commitment-
Calm down…it’s a satire site. I think you might be missing the point.
This is hilarious. I have talken inumoerus times about “saudade” with people who just broke up. It doesn’t apply so well, but who cares?
Hey, we don’t say that because we think they’re going to go kill themselves, you just want that person to know that they have a friend that they can go to.
I’ve been in both places, and it’s nice to know that I have friends who are willing to spend their time away from loved ones to help out during a difficult time, and I am more than willing to return the favor.
This is baloney. I’m at my most creative when I actually have a muse, not when I’ve just broken up with one.
BEST SITE EVER!
and 100% true!
LMAO. Once again (thumbs up) I really love this post because unfortunately its very true. I think they love going to work or when they’re hanging out with friends and just complaining about how their boyfriend is doing this, or what they’ve just done… They love DRAMA.. they love talking about how their life sucks or how hard it is for them…
Anyway, retards this isn’t a satire its very realistic… A lot of people do this and some aren’t even white but its something that everyone should look into & want to fix because…
People like drama, they like being fucked up and in fucked up relationships, they love being able to talk as if their life is rough… they like to get attention, people pity them, people want to know whats going on, they like people to worry about them
Its how messed up and broken this world is…. sigh
Actually, asian people never break up.
It’s a little known fact.
So very true. If there isn’t drama in your life, and you basically have a nice long-term relationship with your S.O., as I do, your friends don’t want to hear about it. They prefer to talk about themselves and their f**ked up relationships or disastrous dates arranged through Match.com. But you listen politely, even though you want to tell them to shut the f**k up, or that the breakup was really your friend’s fault because she’s a high-maintenance, nagging b**ch.
White people also like being awkward after sex. Ever notice how many couples don’t speak to each other in dining halls at college?
[…] #70 Difficult Breakups […]
dude quit crying get over her already so what she fucked your little brother, get some peace in your life http://www.revoint.com
white ppl ACT as if they care so damned much about their friends and say “they shouldn’t be alone right now” but that’s so fucking stupid. it depends from person to person, if the broken hearted person needs rfiends, the’ll come to get you, that’s what a good friend is for, someone that you can lean on whenever YOU want. Not someone that is you wet nurse when he/she thinks you need her.
[…] stuffwhitepeoplelike […]
So true… but I’m Indian and I do the smiths thing and have crappy relationships.
sooo sooo so true for middle class, i am latino, but my god, its scary how close to home these hit!
True. But then your girlfriend is single for a couple of weeks and finds someone else, someone who’s richer, thinner, and whiter than you.
I!!!
Once you go black…
I totally relate to this. Scary isn’t it?
OMG everybody I know is like this.
If you listen to the Backstreet Boys albums many of the songs are about tuff breakups and relationships, and they are the highest selling pop group of all time. Wonder who was buying that stuff…
Difficult breakups are bad. But making shit up such as you saw bigfoot is worse. Check out this news article at http://www.garbarrassing.com (garbarrassment of the day near the top of the page) to see how stupid this guy is.
Little girls that have no idea about relationships, their mothers, and drama queens of all ages.
[…] of a generalization to acknowledge the fact that so much great pop music (especially when it’s by white people) stems from abject misery and despair. In any event, the following list is my attempt to catalog […]
LOL, I definitely know people like this.
For the record, I did NOT write horrific emo poetry when I went through my (only) bad break-up.
Best post. I’ve seen my fair share of break-up poems and all of them sucked universally.
Everyone has break-ups but the right kind of white people make a larger issue out of it. Reminds me of Jon Favreau’s character in “Swingers”.
http://www.poeticmotherlover.com
What about white girls who are generally very selective and almost prudish but then go on a trip and get drunk, throw their high standards out the window and just get laid by guys they normally would not talk to and do it in the most inappropriate places like an old church? – truth be told I am not that creative – I actually knew not one but two girls who “allegedly” did just that – one via a trip to Greece and the other not on a trip but across town- both in CHURCHES!-
Great, someone finally found a good use for a church. I used to be for burning them all down. Now, we should keep a couple for screwing.
…flying too high
with some guy in the sky
is my idea of nothing to do,
yet I get a kick out of you.
– Cole Porter
What does white women hooking up have to do with the topic of difficult breakups? Couldn’t resist a little random misogyny, thrown in at whatever time feels appropriate, I guess. What you probably left out was that you were the guy screwing in the church but still feel entitled to judge these women. God bless the internet, and the good ol’ fashioned double standard.
Good work guy!
haha! this is the first one that has made me laugh. I really do wish I had just broken up with someone so I could get free food. Although, I don’t think that anyone would actually make that much effort. Where do you find friends like this? For me, breaking up with someone just means friends get to tell me how much they hated my ex.
Black, Hispanics, Europeans, Asians.. they all can go through break ups.. whats with the “white people” this or “white people” that?? Its irrelevant what race a person is… the more people point this out, the longer it will take the world to overcome racial hate and violence!
These are all flippin hilarious. I’m as white as they come and you have to appreciate all this. It’s just the culture, not necessarily white people. It’s fun to to point out these things in sarcasm. Keep it up!
its a joke. and its pretty funny
You’re getting a little too excited. It’s just a joke.
Get a sense of humor.
First of all, white people pride themselves on monogamy.
They do not fit the stereotype as put forward in this “article”.
They stick it through because their word matters.
LOL……you gotta be kidding….
“LOL……you gotta be kidding….”
Thanks!
what do break-ups have to do with white people? i don’t get it..
pretty much break-up pain is universal.
hm.
Well, white people do like priding themselves on monagamy and “sticking it through.” That way they can enjoy the attention that they recieve through the breakup because all their white friends will assume that it’s horrible for them and they’re deserving of sympathy and free lunches.
lol this is so true, white people crack me up
If you don’t get it for love of God find some way to acquire a sense of humor and please don’t revisit this site until you do. It just makes the rest of us sad to know you’re out there.
Stuffs white people like:
addn.1. Getting all worked up when others don’t get the jokes that they get
addn.2. Getting EMOTIONAL (CAPS CAPS CAPS) on online message-board postings
wow
this person’s white
So I suppose the moral of the story is white people love to be the center of attention. I wonder if their love of pain and dramatics in relationships stems from the fact that white people (as this site mentions) hate their parents more often than other people do. Sigh. I blame the indie rock. Damn that indie rock.
I adore your blogs! I do not find many things masses find funny but your stuff is hilarious and right on spot. Thank you.
And I am white….
Oh man I love break ups. I am always filled with such great emotion that I use to kick my tail into high gear with
I start relationships only to impatiently get to the long-awaited break-up.
yeah but this isnt stuff that happens to white people its stuff white people like
I’m gay and I can say that gay dudes have the best break ups ever. I am still best friends with my first bf – we just both decided we wanted to see other guys. I know other gay couples who date on the side, and it is just accepted. Sometimes, you can bring a trick home to share with your lover. You may think its slutty, but gay men are just realistic about male sexuality.
no one cares
too much information joe….
Do you think maybe your attitudes don’t reflect every gay person’s attitudes? I am sure there are heterosexual couples like this, as well as gay couples who are not.
Yes, I do think it’s slutty, Joe Rogan. And no, not all gay men act the same way.
Hint for future: Use “I” instead of presuming to speaking on behalf of “all gay men”. I, too, am a gay man, and notice how I don’t speak on behalf of all gay men.
No… gay men are just slutty. That’s it. I disagree with prejudice and I don’t believe it right that none of you can seem to form real, meaningful attachments with people- hence all the sleeping circles you keep- it just seems so fucking transparent it’s horrible. It’s like you are all butterflies- pretty colours and wings, flitting from one place to the next. Butterflies also die abruptly. I don’t think this sort of practice should be excepted- especially when most of the gay men I know and are friends with have slept with many female partners also… I just think it’s immoral- no matter if it’s “accepted” in your circles.
By the way, I wasn’t referring to all gay men, I was referring to those who are just like you.
good joke!
Stuff White People Like addn #3 – Commenting on websites about their white pride and their inability to get over racism
I’m referring to “White Pride”‘s comment by the way
batty man fe make me sick
batty man make me sick
oonu blog make me sick
all ooony bloooooood claaaaaat batty man nasty
You forgot the nostalgic burned CD that reminds them of their ex. It takes them back to moments of pain, but they cant help but to play it over and over to wollow in self-pity. Watch any woody allen film.
“Every rose has it’s thorns
Just like every night has its daw-awawawn
Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song
Every rose has it’s thorns.”
Now wasn’t that a white thing to do!
Haha, listening to that now.
“It is imperative that you do not attempt to kick them out of their misery by saying things like “get over it,” “there are other people out there,” or “I don’t want to read your poem.” Implying that there things in the world more important to you than their breakup is considered one of the rudest actions possible.”
Hilarious. As i lurch through my difficult breakup, we realized at one point how selfish we felt with the world out there and people getting killed for no reason while we pine a foot apart. Ah, love, can’t help it sometimes?
Me and my friends are black white people because whe do that too lol!
Like I told my Cousin the other day….. Dont worry Bobby… she may not be your wife anymore…. but she will always be your sister….
and your mother.
Here I thought I liked difficult break-ups because I am a huge pansy. Now I know it is because I’m white. That was like comfort food for the soul.
[…] break-ups are immortalized in “the majority of white person art” with a special focus […]
Anonymous errored……..white people(men)like rape, not black people. Your comment would have been funny, but no, you had to fucking lie!
Not only do white people use capitals to show emotion when typing, but will even type actions to drive home rant… eg. *grinding my teeth* you make me SO MAD, but *sigh* I will refrain from PUNCHING the screen
*barf*
I went out on one date with a guy once, who would email me emotional notes that included *sob*s to show how upset he was in the middle of a long-typed outpouring of love. YUCK.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape?
white guys live to be in the 4-F club:
find’em
feel’em
f***’em
forget’em
You are such a dork!! lol! You stay cracking me up!
Proof that any topic can be funny.
Dani:
A friend of mine’s sister made a date with me well after her breakup with one of many boyfriends. When I got to the restaurant, I was told by a mutual friend that she would not be there because she was recovering. I was expected to accept this as an excuse for blowing me off. I never really spoke with her again.
As Woody Allen said in one of his movies, “Nothing that a gin and tonic won’t cure”. Just get over it!
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I think people who call themselves white are dumb. White is not a nationality, religion, or ethnicity. It equates to a bunch of people trying to be something that they’re not. White is infallable but a European may have made a mistake or two.
Marathons? Sushi? Yeah…those are white yuppie things to do. But consoling a friend after a breakup– I think that’s sweet and not stereotypically any race at all! -brown girl
paaaaaaaathetic.
haha- now I know the root cause of all breakups! Indie Rock! I guess if I want my relationship to work I’ll have to tell my woman to stop listening to The Shins…
Yay, brown girl! It’s so good to see you have a sense of humor.
The reason its white people who have a hard time dealing with a break up is because it was a long time relationship and we are not out making babies with several other “baby mommas” that already have 5 kids with 5 different dad’s, who we eventually end up on “Maury” with taking a paternity test.
At this rate, you wont be a minority for long!
Wow. Jeff. Your the reason this website was made.
‘The majority of white person art created after a difficult breakup’
Brilliant!
I love this blog!
Barbra
http://intelligentwomenreadromance.com/2009/06/01/because-men-think-single-men-get-more-sex/
Hahaha. WOW. That was the most amazing thing I have ever read… atleas this year. Holy shit. hahahah. I actually read it 3 times ina row and luahged histarically the whole time.
Unfortunatly I have a friend with a newborn boy…. whos “baby daddy” Is a WHITW guy with SIX other kids that she didnt know about… so you know what, us white people arn’t all that great either. hahha.
But yeah Im gunna go read your comment again,
bye
XD hahaha.
This is a real knee slapper!
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
Wow, this thread is hilarious for so many reasons!! The first guy is stupid and doesn’t understand what satire is, and the two people who responded to him are the epitome of the people this blog makes fun of…Hate the fact that they’re white and identify themselves with minorities because they think thats the cool thing to do. “white girl” doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about, because the people this blog pokes fun of are the exact opposite of Jeff…
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on difficult breakups.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
lol
I think this is the most significant thing I’ve read on this blog as a minority. I had no idea…
“It is imperative that you do not attempt to kick them out of their misery by saying things like “get over it,” “there are other people out there,” or “I don’t want to read your poem.” Implying that there things in the world more important to you than their breakup is considered one of the rudest actions possible.”
OOPS.
“If you are lucky enough to speak a second language, the best thing you can do for a white person in this situation is to give them an expression in that language that relates to breaking up. This will make them feel better since they are comforted by the gesture and happy to be learning a new sentence that they can reuse to with their friends.”
OK. Next time I will lol
LOL. There are even wholoe seasons of sitcoms based on “tough” breakups. “Friends” “Sex and The City” the entire run of “Dawson’s Creek” to name a few.
Is this a way to show the world “See I have feelings or else I wouldn’t be soooooo saaaaaadddddd”. So what I treat my poodle better than the waitstaff at my favorite restaurant? Breaking up with (Kent, Becky, Lisa, Craig….) was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do “wah wah”
I cant tell if youre being sarcastic?
OMFG I LOVE TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION THIS IS SOOO ME
YOU SHOULDNT TELL EVERYBODY I WAS DRUNK SO IT DONT COUNT……AND WE GOT PLAN B THE NEXT DAY SO NOBODY WOULD HAVE EVER KNEW ABOUT IT.
….ITS TOO GOOD TO GO BACK LOL
AND FUCK HER SISTER HER COUSIN HER BEST FRIEND AND HER MOMMA AND YOU WILL FEEL ALOT BETTER
ADD ANOTHER ONE TO THE LIST
#1 THING WHITE PPL LIKE
XANEX
Gs UP HOEs DOWN
ITS A XPILL LOL POP ONE AND NOBODY WILL BE ARGUEING
TRU THAT LOL MY BROTHER AND LAW ALWAYS TELLS ME BY THE TIME I DECIDE TO START DATIN WHITE BOYS AGAIN THEY WANT FEEL SHIT WHEN THEY FUCK ME LOL
Breaking up is hard to do: why is it white men are “losers” but white women are “winners” in this women’s lib thing? Since when people no longer valued romantic relationships not only on real life, but a common theme in TV shows cater to a largely white young urban audience? “Men are pigs, women are b—–s” should be a new guidebook on how to understand each other (by studies of gender behavioral cues) in a relationship. +
chicken:egg :: this post:500 days of summer
Actually, breaking up was easy for me. I just told my left hand that i am not using it to beat my meat anymore, and then introduced myself to my right hand, who readily beated my meat.
I love Ms. Handright now that she chokes my chicken so well.+
i am a loser with too many names and too much time. i think the reason why i’m skrewd up is cuz my dad rapes me… Blak pwr
Actually, breaking up was easy for me. I just told my left hand that i am not using it to beat my meat anymore, and then introduced myself to my right hand, who readily beated my meat…
I love Ms. Handright now that she chokes my chicken so well.+
LOL I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and I must admit it’s just as funny!!
You are wrong – that blog is really not very funny.
These comments are just spam. Ignore them.
Come on folks, you should stop with your racist comments against both black and white people, this website is for you to have a light laugh and not to engage in truly racist discussion, and try to prove stupid points with even stupidest arguments.
wha hahahahhah!
Yes this is so true! I hate when my friends complain about how they hate them and love them and whine, whine, whine!
A true standard in comedy blogging.
Another great site is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
This is so true i went out with a guy that was still rebounding by making music about his last breakup 4 years after. Total fag.
[…] Difficult Breakups …….. May I have another sir? […]
so it’s not the cool thing to do? wait im confused….
“Prior to engaging in divorce, most white people train for it by engaging in a series of long term relationships that end very poorly.” – This hit a little close to home. (Yes, I am white. No, I am not going through a breakup.)
But overall, yet another delightfully sarcastic post!
Is that supposed to be funny?
Uh, that was probably because your boyfriend was gay.
No, YOUR opinion is just incorrect.
The stupid photo accompanying this entry makes it. Classic!
[…] that they don’t end up together. I realize that the bad breakup is one of many things that stuff white people like, however, I like that despite Summer’s fickle tendencies, and his own hopeless romanticism, […]
everybody that responds to this white and talks in whiteish ways. I thought that maybe it was written by the same guy.
I guess everyone other race thinks this is a product of white boredom.
So much irony and contridiction!
[…] Difficult Breakups […]
Your whole post is irony and contridiction. I can’t even understand what you are trying to say. Obviously you are not white due to the fact your grammer is disgusting. (rule # 99)
Obviously you ARE a dumb-ass white boy due to the fact that you believe that only non-whites use ‘grammar that is disgusting.’
(rule #1)
Har har.
I concur. I teach English and bad grammar comes in all shapes, sizes AND races. And I’m not WHITE either.
[…] culture today, and it always makes me laugh. It has subjects ranging from Ray-Ban Wayfarers, to Difficult Breakups to Having Two Last Names. Go have a look now […]
why is it that most of you seem like closed minded ass holes. This is all meant to be a fucking JOKE!!!
Someone recently broke up with me . . . I’ve written my first poem >_< Although, in my defence I don't want anyone to read it, and nor is it particularly mopey. And I don't like The Smiths.
Grammar*
And apparently struggles with the word ‘contradiction’. Grammar is one thing, but spelling?
I just wanted to point out how Google Ads so aptly capture whatever the article is about at the conclusion.
It is possible one could extenuate an article from this on how white people like Google.
Sorry Frank, you’re a fag.
only fags say Har Har.
Now I know what to say to my white friends who are universally suffering under this situation…. this is very useful 😉
I feel even whiter (if that’s possible)
if you like this blog, check out http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!
Does all of this being white stuff count if one is Italian?
I like this one. I also like that you’re a white person yourself. I wonder if other people reading your blog even realize this. 🙂
Dont worry Danger. youre the only one.
Thought this was dead on until I realized that every last one of the top 100 break-up songs was sung by black people… albeit black people who only white people listen to today.
Unfortunately, as much as we Italians try to play off that we aren’t white (in Europe, and in the late 1800’s, we weren’t white) but in modern day America, anyone who’s European and doesn’t speak spanish is considered white as Wonder bread. At least in the eyes of white people.
Stuff White People like…raincoats!!!
good one! ha. i own more than one..guilty as charged…
i love this. hahaha so awesome especially since the smiths are the only band ill listen to when relationship troubles occur. the smiths should definitely be on this list..
us white people LOVE self loathing.
Great post…and so true. We white people certainly thrive when our problems become the attention of others. And we are so-o-o-o good at it!
Ha wow really? I didnt know that? last summer I broke up with my white girlfriend. (I am Mexican) I jsut got over it right after (coronas and barbecue) no wonder her friends hate me?
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
]]
This should be listed under stuff that white people don’t like, because of all the heartache and loneliness that breakups cause. Lafonda, if you’re reading this, please give me another chance. We had such a great 5 1/2 days. You were my everything and my only, I would die for you.
HeY HunNeY CaKeS~, i’M soRrY to SaY tHiS bUt I”m ToO gOOoOoD 4 YoU. YoU jUsT DIdN”t HAve enUFf $$$ aNd yOUr pEniS wAs 2 SmALL. and No U DIdNt jUSs bRing oUR pErsONAl BiZnEss oNliNE~~
xoxoxoxoxo LaFoNdA
This is absolutely true. I can’t stand hearing white people and their boyfriend problems…..not even hearing, overhearing. I try so much not to hear it because usually its complete nonsense they are emotional about that they blow up waaaay out of proportion so other people (mostly white because I black girl will tell you straight up you need to leave that guy…but they don’t want to hear that) can console them and they can talk about themselves for hours.
I hear this all the time at school. That’s why white people love romantic comedies…they love that “romance-made-difficult” type of thing.
So true. White people freak out about ended relationships so much because that’s probably the only source of “true pain” they’ve had to deal with. In between going to liberal art schools, taking time off work to backpack, twittering their sad feelings from their iPads, reminiscing about childhood summer camp while on their overpriced weekend camping trips, life hasn’t thrown that many curveballs (tell them this and they quickly counter with telling you about their parents’ divorce). Non-white people (or anyone for that matter not coming from the middle-class suburbs) don’t dwell too much on breakups because they’ve had the perspective of dealing with other touch situations like, oh, say… lay-offs, abuse, growing up poor, having to work two jobs as a single parent, sucking up your pride and standing in the welfare line. No time deal with a string of long-term relationships followed by a year of heartache in-between!
i went out with an american for 3months ,total nightmare….. like being in dawsons creek episode. her house had a pool though
Well, congrats to you for having the most superior, ignorant comment I have seen in a long time! Imagine MY surprise to find out that pain, hurt and tradgedy ONLY stuck people of a certain race, creed and upbringing!
Let’s test that – I am white, female, and yes, I did grow up in the suburbs. DING DING DING, I hit all of the major markers for the magical people of the world who live in shiny bubbles and feel no pain. Now let’s examine the fact that every milestone of my childhood occured within the walls of a hospital (as that is where my dad most often was for his illness) and that my bippolar brother tried to stab us all with a butcher knife one night, landing him in a facility. And to that pile let’s add the months when both parents were in the hospital and/or bedridden necessitating me to become cook, caretaker and nurse. Medical debt caused us to grow up poor – we just got to be viewed by the world as middle class because of my parent’s high education and careers as teachers.
No matter what race, religion, gender or location in life, everybody suffers. EVERYONE faces tradgedy and strife. How arrogant are YOU to assume that you and whoever your people happen to be have cornered the market on human pain.
We move on. I worked my way through college and now am a teacher. Suck it up, pull your head out of your ass, and notice the 7 billion people on this planet with problems, nor worse or better than you.
my little rant was in response to mon, by the way.
[…] 11) Difficult breakups: “The majority of white person art is created after a difficult breakup; films, indie music, and poetry are all kicked into high production during the end of a relationship.” […]
“i dont wanna read your poem” ….
The unbalanced amount of hatred and destruction i felt when i read it. You are completely right. Everytime i face one of these poems i want to die instantly so i dont have to read or rate it…..
Poor Lynne – the real tragedy is that you can’t take a joke.
It’s funny because it’s so true. I’m white and I think this shit is funny. Love this site! Now you have to add your own site to the list ;)…and emoticons, another thing white people like.
#70 Difficult Breakups | Stuff White People Like
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#70 Difficult Breakups | Stuff White People Like
[…]To begin with, every particular person is influenced by the wild facet of the conscience, which tries to trigger craziness in one’s human conscience.[…]
Thanks for bringing my lover back, Robinson.buckler@((yahoo.)) com.…………இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ—great post ★★★★★ (。◕‿◕。)
My hand has never left me, always loyal, I will forever be a proud jerkoff