#79 Modern Furniture
March 2, 2008 by clander
When white people envision their dream home, a key part of the fantasy involves a least one piece of furniture designed by a famous architect from the 1930s.
Architects like Mies van der Rohe and Le Corbusier designed iconic modern furniture that has inspired virtually everything made by Ikea and Design Within Reach, both of which are key suppliers of furniture to white people.
But as with all things, white people will do whatever it takes to secure authenticity including paying thousands of dollars for a small piece of furniture.
If they are able to acquire this prized furniture, they will forever refer to it only by the designers name. “I spend hours in the van der Rohe, just looking through these beautiful books of his work.”
Referring to a white person’s expensive chair as a ‘chair’ is considered poor form and will likely result in a loss of trust and/or respect.
The best strategy for avoiding this faux pas is to look for the most uncomfortable chair in a white person’s home and ask “who designed that?” If they say “Ikea” or “Design within Reach” you can call it a chair, otherwise refer to it only by the name they give you.
It should also be noted that many white people are unable to acquire this furniture, but that does not mean you cannot use this information to your advantage.
In situations where you need to improve your connection with a white person, just mention how you hope to be successful enough to one day afford an original piece of furniture by <insert obscurely named architect>. If they have heard of the designer they will nod in agreement, if they have not, they will also nod in agreement and make a note to look it up later.
In either case, your status will rise.
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What is with the love of Ikea? What disposable crap. I know people who make a big point of buying locally grown food, but their house is outfitted in Ikea almost exclusively. Newsflash: It is made in China. It is not built to last. And it is not comfortable. It is not as as stylish as you imagine either. I would say it is about a half a step up from Target furnishings.
all the topics that involve whites wasting alot of money on worthless shit makes me wonder…are white people mentally retarted? why do they do stupid shit like buying expensive uncomfortable furniture?
No. We actually work and have money unlike you.
Hahaha I used to work for Design within reachs distribution center, and used to work all the warehouse sales for the discounted furniture. I can tell you about 40 percent of the people that purchased Items were white, about 40 percent asian, and 20 percent other races, and of the whole pack 70 percent were gay. Yes I am white, yes I have a noguchi table, a eames lounge chair and ottoman, and a uber expensive bed and mattress from DWR but I didn’t pay anything for any of it, perks of the job. Would I pay the prices they want for any of it? Hell no I would go to a cheap place.
In all fairness, I once knew a Filipino with an Eames Chair, a fact he would never let you forget.
However, unlike white people, he lit up like a christmas tree when afforded the chance to tell the story about the deal he got on it.
You could also add Mission style furniture to the list. We don’t have an IKEA up here in Alaska, so I had to opt for Mission style. I finally bought a “piece” that I had dreamed of for years – a Morris chair! It is absolutely gorgeous. Everyone complains that it is uncomfortable and that they slide out of it when sitting in it for more than 2 minutes. The comfort of my family and friends is of little matter because I have finally “arrived” now that I own a Morris chair!
Yes, Yes, Yes, I admit it…..this is the whitest thing about me. I do major damage to my wallet everytime I go into Ikea. This is the whitest thing about me…That and Indie Music….I’ve grown to except that about me……(actually, our Ikea here in TExas gets alot of business from Mexicans. Rich Mexicans also like modern furniture, so I don’t know if I agree with this one….. I think ultra-white people go “antiqueing”. Now that is WHITE.)
pinche narco.
Old furniture is the “in” thing for those loaded with money but lack melanin. I can find a whole bunch of old furniture discarded for awhile in any vacant lot in the Cal. desert. Go on and find lounge chairs, sofas, couches, drawers, TV sets, radios, fridgerators and lamps in between bushes or trees. Fun to go hiking…and the free treasure hunt awaits you+
why do I use so many names? I wanted to keep my beloved Micheal D. name untouched, but those nigras got to me.
Yoink
yoink
yoink
my name is soiled forever. +
Y-0-I-N-K!
Wow. The fact that you are confusing the furniture designed by Mies and Corbu with a few Lazy Boys and a dining room set you found out in the desert proves that this post went completely over you head.
Um, just to clarify, Design Within Reach doesn’t manufacture their furniture like Ikea, rather DWR is where you might go to buy an actual Van der Rohe or whatever other midcentury classic, that’s why it’s expensive, because they’re authentic pieces. You’ve kinda got it wrong in your blog. Funny stuff though!
Um, you’re wrong. Design Within Reach manufacturers over-priced knock-offs of mid-century modern furniture. They sometimes even pay for the right to use the original designer’s name, but their stuff is never “vintage” – it’s all recently manufactured.
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