Water seems like a fairly simple concept. You turn on the tap, put glass underneath, and drink. Sadly, it is not this simple for white people.
On the whole, they are unable to put a glass under a tap and just drink. In fact, this is such a strange concept that the city of New York had to launch a rather large PR campaign to show white people that it was possible to actually drink the water that comes out of the tap!
Up until this point, white people were consuming most of their water in the form of expensive bottles like Fiji, Aquafina and Dasanai. To this day, many white people continue to get their water in this fashion, and it is important to be aware about how your choice of water can say a lot about who you are.
Logically, you would assume that drinking the most expensive premium bottled water (Fiji and Voss) would be enough to show the world that you are too good for tap water. And a few years ago, you would have been right. But lately, advanced white people have been getting very upset about all of the waste that comes with drinking 15-20 bottles per week.
The leading edge of white people have started to use sturdier, refillable bottles. But do not assume this is from the tap. Most white people need to run their water through some sort of filter (Brita or PUR) before they put it into their bottle. This allows them to feel good about using a refillable bottle, but it also makes it more complicated, which they also like.
Previously, the gold standard was the Nalgene bottle, however recent studies have shown the plastic can leak toxins into the water. Currently, white people on the cutting edge are really into metal bottles of water with a twist cap. It is recommended that you buy one of these as soon as possible.
Having one will give you precious leverage over any white person who is drinking from a plastic bottle. “Oh bottled water? really? I mean it’s cool, but I kind of thought you cared about the earth.” If you see someone drinking a Fiji water, you do have the opportunity to go in for the kill. “Do you know that your bottle of water has a bigger carbon footprint than me? I think they were originally going to call it ‘aboriginal blood’ but that bottle was as close as they could get. You know, legally.”
Again, this should only be used in extreme situations.
Following your confrontation, the white person is likely to have a metal bottle just like yours. If this happens, there will be an implicit pact whereby they will do favors for you provided you do not tell everyone they got their bottle after you.
NOTE: whoever makes the metal bottles did not pay for the link. They just had the best pictures.
Stuff White People Like 
first!!!
#77: abortions. white people like having abortions.
also, white people like writing to postsecret about their abortions.
white people don’t wanna be dehydrated.
i’m betting you’ve seen this, but the opposite and yet exact same thing as “stuff white people like” is “black people love us!“
doses
No joke—I saw a lady drinking from the sigi bottle and i thought it was a vase. no joke. wow, you learn something new every single day.
it’s official…this is the best blog ever. I haven’t found one ounce out of untrue information in a single post. Spectacular. I hope this blog never ends.
you know, that whole whoring your blog out to advertising happened so quickly i barely noticed it.
There are certain places where the tap water tastes a lot better after being put through a Brita filter, like Phoenix.
what about kissing dogs on the mouth? white people love doing that!!
This is great – really great! I commend you on being on top of the current white wave and all the design and marketing behind it. Brilliant! I am writing about this blog on my own blog about art, design and marketing – which I do while sitting in my ergonomic chair in front of my imac drinking organic soy milk and eating gourmet dark chocolate (side note: possible topic about gourmet foods: cheese, wine, chocolate and coffee – mostly from France) from Whole Foods.
I just read The Power of Now and I loved it, so maybe that could be a topic … “new age” spiritual leaders. You may want to check my blog for future references too – I seem to be pretty white, but not everything applies.
already got one. That was so last year.
To be fair though, bottle water started in Japan. So it only makes sense white people have taken ownership of it now.
Fabulous! These posts are freaking HILARIOUS!
It’s so true! white people love ’em some bottled water!
I had no idea SIGG bottles were popular. Damn, I give up…..
i guess i am a white guy. metal bottle with screw cap, filled with britta-filtered H20. guilty!
Seriously. Set up a paypal account. I’ll voluntarily give you guys $10. I have never gotten this much enjoyment out of a website (and unlike porn, there’s no diminishing returns). Keep up the good work.
Usually these reusable water bottles are uniquely branded with stickers – i.e.: showing how outdoorsey they are through REI or ski resorts, using alternative bands stickers to show how non-conformist they are or Obama in ’08 to show their support in a public manner.
Ironically, white people live in the part of town where the tap water is safe to drink.
http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
This is a complete treasure-trove for future cultural anthropologists.
Whitey loves him some Al Gore, too.
#77: observing the whiteness of other whites. take this blog for example.
Yep! White people carry around bottled water everywhere.
Ha, I just bought one of those metal bottles yesterday, for the exact reasons listed in the article. Looks like I fit in, suckas!
I heard you on NPR (of course) today and googled right over! Love the blog and will be here regularly from now on! I’m all over that metal bottle and will quit putting my filtered water in plastic because I do worry about the landfills and my health.
COTTAGES COTTAGES COTTAGES COTTAGES COTTAGES
White ppl & COTTAGES. C’mon!
Of course, the metal bottles are lined with plastic, to keep the substrate from making the water taste like…metal. If polycarbonate bottles leaked plasticizer into their contents, which they don’t, then these metal bottles wouldn’t be any better.
The only way to escape this would be to line the bottles with glass, like with thermos bottles, or with 24 karat gold, which doesn’t impart taste to its contents. I predict this will be the next craze, until someone notices that gold is mined with cyanide.
Whites and others in the elitist class are dehydophobics!
In fairness, some states, i.e. Florida, have gross H2O. But on the east coast and Cali? Good shit from the faucet.
did anyone else notice that this one sounded like it was written by someone else? probably wasnt, but the tone was different. made it not as funny, but hey, 98.68% aint bad.
Fantastic post. The thing about toxins from plastic bottles was complete BS, actually, but I’m sure that was still a large part of the driving force causing folks to buy metal bottles.
so incredibly true. this is hilarious
Golf balls in picture.
White people love golf.
If you like your water with tasty contaminants and added chemicals, I say go with the tap water. Otherwise filter it or get it elsewhere from natural sources (unfortunately plastic bottled).
Or be an activist, recycle those plastics, drink from the fossil fuel pumped chemically laden water plants, and continue driving your suv to the mall with a clear conscience.
That post was sub-par.
Right now you are in the phase where your blog is too popular, and you are making jokes in a carbon copy of the voice that you once had, rather than in the actual voice that you once had.
This will continue for a while.
But eventually you will find your voice again, rather than writing in the way that you think people want to read (as you currently do).
Family Guy went through a similar period (after its return from hiatus), but they too got their voice back.
#27 – does having a subscription to ‘Cottage Living’ + daydreaming about one day buying and renovating a cottage count?
as a matter of fact, upscale magazine subscriptions are ‘stuff white people like’ i.e. Architectural Digest, Martha Stewart, Real Simple, Dwell, Wallpaper, Gourmet. very important to leave these magazines on coffee tables + other areas where they can be seen.
in our house, water from the tap is used ONLY to wash dishes, or wet a sponge/kitchen towel. never, EVER used for drinking. not even with a filter. although, our stainless steel refrigerator has filtered water + ice cubes. i use the cubes. don’t drink the water. and we all know how white people LOVE their stainless steel appliances!
Uhhhh all but 10 things on here were already true about me (I HATE JUNO) and now that you have this bottles of water thing up I just want to call everyone I know and tell them because I have 11 bottles of Smart Water, 1 bottle of Fiji, and 3 of Voss in my room right now (none refilled with tap water, mind you) and this is just so ironic (I love irony) that I can’t wrap my mind around it. Jesus christ.
i don’t think you’ve lost your voice.
i love this site, and even though I’m not white, I definitely identify with a lot of the stuff and have observed similar behavior in people i know.
this blog is so spot-on about everything. love all the posts keep up the good work!
Loved you on _Talk of the Nation_ today! Yay, NPR! More whitefolks stuff.
I buy 2.5 gallon containers of distilled water because the tap water here tastes gross.
..oh yeah! White people invented computers and the internet and just about everything else that the rest of humanity loves so much that they leave the beautiful places they are from to be a part of white culture.
Maybe the white guy that wrote this blog can explain one thing to the rest of us. When I’m riding to and from work because, as a white guy I’m trying to reduce my carbon footprint, how do I stick my head under a tap?
The water bottle was invented, probably by some white guy, so that one could have water while away from the kitchen sink!
Cool hey!!
Just so you all know this blog is written by a white guy…
The jokes on you!!
I live in western Massachusetts which is ground zero for exactly the type of white people you describe on this blog. I used to just call them the limosine liberals and my patience is wearing thin. Thanks for the laughs and insight.
This website is…horrible, crude, offensive, and badly misinformed.
Because, of course, you’ve made a blog lampooning the habits of idle upper-middle-class white people, and 76 posts in you have yet to mention tattoos.
feminism
plastic surgery
bestiality
blogging
binge drinking
extreme sport
JUST DO IT!
Tap water is delicious. I like the added fluoride! It helps me keep my teeth in good shape. Most White People keep their teeth clean by utilizing their own sense of self-satisfaction, I’m still perfecting that technique.
funny and yet so true
Re: #39
Link to Talk of the Nation segment on Stuff White People Like:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=33372288
White people like:
Blogs
collecting as a culture: Records, DVDs, Toys…
Criterion Collection
Burning Man
Outdoor multi-day music festivals
Frisbee Golf
working out with a personal trainer/ barry’s boot camp
IKEA
Mail order anything
Infomercials
info-tainment
celeb gossip
cheese
big salads
blogs about white people
artisan bread
food network
1080p HD
#77 – white people love providing their opinion on everything online that has a section available for commenting
#78 – white people love irony
#79 – white people love self-deprecating humor
really doesn’t matter what race the writer(s?) is. Still hilariously accurate.
white ppl like voyeurism online
#34- Actually, bottled water is barely regulated and shown to be no safer than tap water, which is regulated. In some cases, bottled water is simply tap water with a few things added.
Check it out: http://www.thinkoutsidethebottle.org/
You think there was a time… maybe 10 or 20 years ago where white people didn’t have to carry water with them EVERYWHERE THEY GO? The fear of dehydration is way too strong in the white person.
haven’t people been using tin canteens for ages?
I have a bottle with a built in Brita filter.
You should write a post about how white people love to make up words to be cool. ex: “hipster-ness”, “eco-friendly-ness”
spot on. white ppl strive for vacuous individuality because they have that priviledge.
btw, white folks LOVE cuckoldry. mos def would be ideal. editing the footage on their mac is icing.
White people like….
magazines
Oprah
The Office
Smart phones
Google
Facebook
barbecues
Your blog has organically created such a movement that I’m starting the official countermovement:
I buy those expensive, plastics-heavy bottled waters you describe and use them to fill up my own larger metal water bottle. Then I repurpose the empty water bottles as planters for seeds of doubt, hopelessness, disenfranchisement, and poverty which I water with my metal bottle until they are ready for harvest, at which point I transport them into centers of urban decay and drop them off on the porches of mixed race children in bad homes.
These days, anything can be sold and marketed, even fresh ice and refrigerators to Inuits. Similarly, supermarkets – or black holes – like walmart and tesco, can make and sell just about anything, including taking on microsoft and adobe:
http://theworldofm.wordpress.com/2008/02/23/tesco-new-world-order/
although they wont win the battle, they will definitely get a chunk, methinks
Ha my dad has tons of bottled water and he won’t let me drink from the tap when I’m over there. I’m pretty picky about water myself though, I only like bathroom sink tap water or bottled water.
I guess it would be funny if the tap water in most US cities didn’t taste like donkey balls.
other white people likes = record collection with an eclectic mix (everything from trance to, raffi, to ac/dc, etc.). new age/spirituality backed up by facts proved by science or the other other point of view, richard dawkins, with no room for anything that is not scientific. science. nintendo wii. it was rosie briefly, then ellen briefly, is still oprah. gay culture – specifically lesbians (as long as they are not “too dykey” however androgyny is cool). super hip haircuts (i.e. one side of you head shaved or sporting an asymetrical cut, think the 80’s but hip), hipster works of art on display 24/7 as a testament to how hip you are (mostly between 16-29 sometimes beyond).
p.s. i will be back with more
Interesting stuff…
Interesting stuff…
I just take my clean glass out of the cupboard, run the tap reeealll cold and fill my glass. sipp, fill again, sipp & I’m good.
hahaha
awesome blog though! 😉 pretty damn funny
Came here through indiauncut.com. This is awesome – i now have a reason to LOL in the office for no reason! oops.. is that also smth white ppl like to do?! 🙂
They also love being critics…
http://stufffilmcriticslike.wordpress.com
haha…this is spot on!
love,
elisita.
The one thing I always remember about New York (other than the fact that it’s a great place) was that the tap water poured into a glass would be cloudy for about five minutes.
With that in mind, it’s no wonder all the middle-class whiteys want to drink bottled water.
“Hmmm…shall I drink this water with some cloudy substance floating around in it from the tap, or shall I drink something lacking in checmical traces”
A hard choice to be sure.
What better venue for your Apple stickers!
So dead on. White people do love their bottled water. I know I do 🙂
And white folks do like to rationalise their decisions to buy expensive things in terms of health and sanitation, or to insist they have no choice. Tap water in the US is almost always safe to drink, and that includes water that’s initially cloudy.
Actually, bottled water taps multiple white-person habits – excessive caution in hygiene, outdoorsiness that requires carrying water around, belief that one is doing something for reasons of health or taste and it has no class signalling component, denying their fear of urban pollution (e.g. of water) has anything to do with a residual anxiety about living in big cities rather than clean suburbs, and suspicion of conspiracy by the MSM and medical establishment to hide possible long-term health impacts of tap water (I’m sure many of those who carry around the metal bottles of purified water also sign petitions to do something about lead in city water pipes).
Folks in many other countries would just be happy to have safe reliable drinking water on tap. Can we switch?
I’m pretty much considered a queen among white people because I quit my job in corporate law following my messy divorce and moved to Europe to become a food writer. I also drink bottled water, enjoy breakfast and am fond of telling people that I don’t own a car because I prefer to take public transportation. (It gives me more cred than admitting that I’m broke…although the latter can also go over well with white people if deployed correctly and not really true.) Thank you for providing me with more ideas about stuff I might like.
We’ve learned to never run out of bottled water in the office, they refuse to get a cooler.
White people go nuts if they don’t get their bottled water. Production decreases and all the white people find a reason to work from home.
I feel like an intruder for being so much older than what I imagine our mean age to be. I am 62. Thank you for not having an auto-scan age limit and permitting me to bask in your more agile thinking… in some cases.
Nevertheless, it occurs to me that I might act as a sort of time capsule for some of these issues.
I have historical issues with bottled water for instance that are perhaps interesting. I wrote about these same issues in an uninteresting article that floated around one disinterested marketing faculty but in actual fact, no one has heard this stuff yet.
In 1960, when my white mother married another white man to fill the place of my actual white father who had died very young, we were taken to Western Europe to attempt to soften the hold that the ‘new jersey widow & her orphans’ life-style had on us. Quite clearly it worked in one 3 week miracle.
In Evian, I was a 14 year old confused twink. And, eating poached blue trout on a terrace with a bottle of local mineral water. None of the other kids at Middlesex New Jersey Junior High knew what I was doing/talking about/drinking. My mother had found some in an Italian’s food store.
Bottled water backed off for me when it became simply a fad (ugh shudder) but has become funny and ridiculous again. I love to watch bottled water marketing. It makes me laugh aloud.
You site is so Excellent, insightful, scholarly, decent, and accurate. My re-hydration working paper title, “Where Were You When America Got Thirsty”, I am giving to you no charge. I am too weary to write it.
I love this site and it gets me to the coffee pot a half hour early.
I cannot WAIT to tell you about how we went through a line of family vehicle purchase decisions from 1959 to 1998. And about the intimate, now embarrassing, and pretty much White thinking that slid along with that process.
Regarding my use of sentence fragments, etc, please see an influential site from Oxford College: plainenglish.com
This site is still a fresh picnic . Thank you, thank you.
Digby
#1,
You’re supposed to say “Frist” not “first”. This is a very “white” thing to do in the blog world.
Is #76 THE Digby?
# 79 American Express Card – any nonwhite person can apply for and receive a Mastercard or Visa.
#80 Lacrosse scholarships- other than legacy, the only way marginally intelligent white people can still get into the Ivies.
#81 Committees- better than donating to charity because of more recognition and committee membership is nice addition to any resume.
#82 Hardwood floors- White people enjoy using disposable income to replace nonwhite person carpet or tile.
#83 SAT/LSAT/MCAT Prep courses- used and paid for by all white people to get into slightly better schools than they otherwise would on their own merit. Prep courses lfor white people evel the uneven admission playing field resulting from diversity.
O, please see JET at item # 54 above. He reminds us that metal bottled water has been here since the trenches of 1916 at least.
And that reminds me that in 1954, Cub Scouts supported themselves by finding, and returning for a nickel, those soft drink glass bottles on the side of the road. Milk and soft drinks and beer containers were all glass and virtually 100% recycled. Already happened. I was there. I saw it.
Not being a grocer or a brewer or bottler and also not being a lobbyist, I cannot figure out entirely why we stopped. Obvious answer sure…it did not maximize profits. But hey, neither do seatbelts and we have them.
I think there was no graceful way to pass the glass bottle costs smoothly and gracefully to consumers. So, say hello to pop top aluminum and Jimmy Buffett.
Cheers,
Digby
sorry to be compulsive….I think “spot on” mean the writer is or was Australian.
Hope this helps,
Digby
wow. I am so the target of this. I was like “oh yeah, I need to buy one of those metal bottles. Hey link! oh. I just got satirized hardcore.” I even intend to fill it out of our brita pitcher.
Thats true white people also like smart water n shit, expensive water.
Some a you muggs is missing the point.
It’s about the BOTTLES not the Water.
Learn the game a little bit.
And tie me kangaroo down while yer at it.
I think this blog is really funny. I find it humorous that people are offended by it. If you can read, the entire blog is written for kicks and giggles. I see similarities of this blog to Chappelle Show in how they both bring out ironic stereotypes that everyone can believe in. However, the tables are turned towards the “majority”. Before everyone was laughing to Chappelle’s Show because it dealt with the minority’s aspect, now everyone is offended because it deals with the majority. Get a hold of yourselves and laugh.
My father-in-law is a nutter for bottled water, except when he’s done with the original water he fills up the plastic bottle with water from the tap and puts it in the fridge. Last week he needed to get more bottled water from the store because he said his bottles were getting old. I know, I know.
My massage therapist (white people have them) apologized for giving me water from the tap in a cup.
I drink water from the tap all the time and people give me those looks.
White people also like to warn people that are travelling to other countries (non-white ones) to not drink the water. So, if you buy their bottled water, where does it come from?
everythingimnot.wordpress.com
http://everythingimnot.wordpress.com
Not sure if you have these:
-artisanal breads (cheeses, yogurts, etc)
-composting
-knitting
-blogs (including being the first to discover a cool blog)
White people like being told what they like.
FYI
If you put tap water in a container that is not air tight such as a pitcher with an open spout all the chemicals in the water quickly evaporate and the chemicals are about the only thing filters take out anyway.
Water bottles should not be reused without being thoroughly washed and dried. Empty water bottles that still have some moisture in them are perfect breeding grounds for bacteria and other germs. Can you say Petri Dish?
crazy white folk
Coca-Cola tried to make money in Ireland by bottling water out of the tap, rebranding it and selling. For a change, white people copped on to this scam.
Or the water where you live that has a sign that says dont drink or not fit for consumption cause the pipes in D.C. are so freaking old.
OMG! They have metal bottles. I’m so not hip. I have to get one!!!!!!!
(I carry around a nalgene with gasp, bottled “unfiltered” tap water. I just like the large quantity of water – one liter- at my disposal at all times. I figure I get enough salt and beer in my diet I need to counteract it with some water in my non drinking hours)
The tongue in cheek nature of this blog is awesome. I like blogs.
why am i so white! i bought one of these metal bottles about 2 months ago….but i fill mine with tap water!
o.o
ummm…. waaa?
race DOESN’T exsist …i don’t wanna be white…but whatever…I’m just saying, everyone is he same, whatever their “RACE” is..
im gonna go watch anime now 😀
[im 14, so leave meh aone!! lol]
Everyone wants clean water. I like Fuji. I’m going to buy some now.
http://www.BehindtheApprovalMatrix.com
http://www.IGotUGGs.com
Actually you have to heat water above 240 degrees and then put it in a Nalgene for any leeching to occur, and that is only in certain types of HDPE.
But yes many white people have jumped on the Aluminum band wagon.
This illustrates that most white people while loving their gadgets hat to RTFM.
Everyone acts like the human population didn’t drink water until 10-15 years ago when bottled water became ubiquitous. All of our parents drank tap water…and we’re still alive. Take off your skirts, people.
Like the Nalgene the alum bottle was an outdoorsy thing before it became a “look I’m cool and outdoorsy thing.” I am cool enough to have several nalgenes (with stickers) but not cool enough to pick up the metal bottles for water. They look too much like the stove fuel bottle
trail mix. white people like food that resembles bird food a lot.
shit white people love:
Post secrets
Head Phones More expensive than their iPods
keffiyehs
Satellite Radio!!!!!!!!
Break-dancing: breakdancers are white, Jewish(less than 2% of the population more than 25% of all break dancers!!!!), or Asians ( asian are the only ones that are actually good at it!), Latin and black people would rather grind!!!!
The link to the metal bottle website has a bunch of heads pop up. ALL WHITE PEOPLE! It’s like ’70s TV commercials.
They know their target market, but won’t this unsettle whitey?
According to McCain’s microtargeting, “Republicans have Fiji water preferences, versus Democrats, who have Evian water preferences.” (New Yorker)
Think about it. I haven’t.
Aww man, i still use a nalgene all the time… guess i’m to cheap to buy another re-usable water bottle.
White people like calling their apartments “condos”
Try mypoll.wordpress.com take a poll make a poll or comment please
Sean Combs, Will Smith, and Denzel all carry water bottles, just saying…..
Oh, and that was meant sarcastically.
#77: White People Like to Award Each Other
Ex. The Golden Globes, Oscars, SAG, Emmys etc. (we all know that the kind of movies/series that are always nominated at these award shows were written with white people in mind and feature predominantly white casts and therefore white people walk away with most of the awards)
They throw other races a bone every now and then.
My love for this blog is as big as my love for the environment, and aboriginal blood… I mean, smugly demeaning bottled water drinkers… yeah.
This one was a bit boring.
I went to Sears and got a reverse-osmosis system for $250 or so, to filter the nasty well water my old house had. It was stank as hell. But after it went through the RO system it was completely awesome tasting. I would feel bad about being a hippy by accident but the water really was undrinkable. I suppose I can feel better by the fact that RO systems waste about nine gallons of water for every gallon of product they produce.
I’m back in a house on the metropolitan water system which comes out of one of the great lakes. It doesn’t taste quite as good as the RO water did, but since I’m not neurotic, I go ahead and drink it anyway.
PS
I wonder at how this blog seems to attract about 10% people who are laughing with you and 90% people you’re laughing at. Orthodox liberals are humorless creatures. It’s like 17th century Puritans, only their cherished convictions are even more retarded. Of course, the East Coast liberals are pretty much acting out Puritan culture with new, pseudoscientific ideas, instead of old, Christian ones. I wonder how long it will take them to figure out they’re on the intellectual defense and not the offense? Did the Fundies ever figure it out?
You need to post about how white people love Obama. He’s da bomb.
I like that white people drink bottles of Dasani. Here in Britain Dasani IS tap water.
Cheers
BC
It’s a cycle and I think it all started with smoking.
Tons of research shows that smoking causes cancer. Slowly but surely people quit smoking.
A lot of research shows that cholesterol is bad for your cardiovascular health. People and companies react over the period of months. Less cholesterol is consumed and substitutes are offered.
Some research shows that hydrogenated fat is even worse than cholesterol. Before the end of the week, panic hits a certain group of people (you know who). Only bad people would eat unhealthy stuff. No more fat unless it’s organic.
One master’s student finds that water bottles may leak toxins into your water. White people may know how to read a newspaper but they sure don’t know how to read research journals so … the blog tells the rest of the story.
What! You cover bottled water and don’t throw in the obvious white water snob coverage? What about the $80 a bottle, bottled water? What about my $300 reverse osmosis filter that takes $50 worth of replacement filters a year to keep running? Brita water filter, ha. I have been off of disposable bottles for years. Great blarg by the way.
How about one on white people loving memes?
http://everythingimnot.wordpress.com
Love the blog! I married a Canadian because I love Canada so much. Canadians are funnier than Americans by a mile. Smarter too. You know they’ve been selling us ice for decades! They’re pretty sneaky.
Some other things white people like:
Deepak Chopra
Ordering books from Barnes and Noble when they could get them cheaper from Amazon
Driving 50 miles to buy organic, locally grown groceries
Expensive exercise clothes with the labels on the outside (goes well with the metal bottles)
Skiing
Candles
Smoothies
Thanks!
But tap water is ICKY!!!!
P.S. Thanks for the links to stuff white people should buy.
I am a white person. And I like to buy stuff.
hahahahaha!!
i’m so glad i can say i’m not guilty of this. i love tap water. 🙂
Thanks for the laughs! Keep it up.
ROTF!!! I love the whole “cutting edge” thing. Hilarious!
white people who come in to my cafe pay 3.99 for glass bottles of water, allegedly imported from Tuscany. It’s not even fizzy, just flat regular water.
Every visit to this page, this white boy sees how distanced he is from the rest of the white race… I’ve probably actively pondered half of what I’ve read here, some time in the past.
I drink tap water, *gasp* directly from faucet to glass, sometimes without *gasp* ice. Ice of course has not gone thru any sterilization process. The last time I bought water, it was distilled water to mix with antifreeze on my truck (to avoid contaminating the system with any stray ions and changing the pH, which could start corrosion.
And for you fools who gawk over “Mountain Spring Water.” Well I’ve had to live off it while backpacking in the mountains, and it ain’t pretty. Ironically, in comparison to tap, mountain spring water should be filtered and/or chemically treated to avoid getting sick (giardia, salmonella, etc) and wind up less tasty than tap and definitely causes more anxiety than tap.
White people love frivolous prescription medication (restless leg syndrome, anyone?) and OTC stool softeners.
Yep.
white people love northface and carthartt.
i dont even know if i spelled the latter right, but they love it.
probably just because of its expensive-ness.
“I think this blog is really funny. I find it humorous that people are offended by it. If you can read, the entire blog is written for kicks and giggles. I see similarities of this blog to Chappelle Show in how they both bring out ironic stereotypes that everyone can believe in. However, the tables are turned towards the “majority”. Before everyone was laughing to Chappelle’s Show because it dealt with the minority’s aspect, now everyone is offended because it deals with the majority. Get a hold of yourselves and laugh.”
This is written by a White guy, y’all know that right?
I just found out about this blog from NPR,
good stuff guys
I drink from the horse trough or the ditch by the side of the road. I use a metal ladle though.
LA Times article : “White Like Us” by Gregory Rodriguez
A blogger explores the attitudes and foibles of a new minority group.
February 25, 2008
Excerpt:
” . . . By “white people,” Lander doesn’t actually mean the more than 221 million Americans who check that box on the decennial census. But that’s part of the fun. Lander is doing to whites what scores of journalists and politicians do to non-white minorities every day, “essentializing” complex identities — that is, stripping away all variety and reducing them to their presumed authentic essences.
One irony-deficient reader complained that the blog was less about white people than it was about yuppies. And without knowing it, she was cutting to the heart of the joke. Lander is gently making fun of the many progressive, educated, upper-middle-class whites who think they are beyond ethnicity or collectively shared tastes, styles or outlook. He’s essentially reminding them that they too are part of a group.”
——————————————————————————-
F***ing brilliant! Lander you deserve an award for taking a risk (and stepping on toes . . . oops!)
You started this blog with Coffee, then Tea, now Water,
and I know Odwalla juice merited a mention in some other entry…
WHAT THE HELL IS LEFT–CAPRI SUN?!
Nalgene is more for hiker white people. Also, for people who want to keep their teeth fluoridated.
Goat here folks.
Ain’t gonna lie, but the Goat loves to drink. Except some asshole once gave your man some hooch:
And then this happened:
Clearly I was given some Night Train (I later ate the bottle by the by…) However, that’s why the Goat now only drinks water from the well. At 128 million parts per million of non-water materials, it has your man butting heads with everyone. My breath stinks.
Get Goativated!!
~The Goat…
It’s like you can see my soul
I just recently discovered that I was white and I have to say, this really puts it all my past conflicts into perspective!!!!!!
This is one hilarious and well-written blog.
I wonder how the carbon footprint of a metal bottle compares with that of a plastic bottle …
I feel much better now, though. I learned quickly to buy a bottle of water FOR THE BOTTLE, and then refill that baby about 300 times before losing or recycling it.
I don’t worry about the bacteria in the bottle (unless it gets too populous and funky) because, after all, it came from me. My body already knows all about it.
I do rinse it out every couple weeks or so, and run the nozzle (and sometimes the bottle) through the dishwasher with the dishes … no issues yet.
What will we be doing about this in 20 or 30 years? (Please tell us at timprosserfuturing.wordpress.com)
White american tourists drink coca-cola rather than water when they go to underdeveloped countries, like Brazil. They just forget that coke is made from the very water they refuse to drink. And, I assure you, it don’t gets purer or safer than before.
to top it off, I have this very eco friendly lady at my office who buys her water based on the pH content of the water. Some waters have tons of akaline while others are more specific. In order to maintain optiumum health now pH is another deciding factor on while water to choose.
I personally love the water from the outside water hose. Anyone else love that taste?
http://www.platenuts.com
We should remember that said water bottles MUST be attached to some sort of backpack. This enables the owner of backpack/bottle combination to arrive at work and/or Graduate Seminar in Film Studies, then drop said combo onto the table with great clunking, sloshing fanfare. But in a casual manner, underlining the point that we should take it for granted that the owner of this immense noise machine is *just this cool*. Other items the owner of these sorts of bottles could own include: ugly shoe/sandal permutations and those clippy things that only people who really, actually climb things should have.
Just Boil It
Boiling water will kill any remaining e-coli in the water, which is a very useful if you live in Ontario, whose infrastructure are a wreck after a decade of abandonment by cut-and-run ‘conservatives’.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/walkerton/
Store the boiled water in thermos, and voilà, you have really hot water throughout the day for your pot of tea, cups of instant coffee, and malt mixes. Whatever it takes to mask the taste of Lake Ontario and really old pipes.
I’m a Black male and have never paid for bottled water although I do drink the Polish Springs water that is at work since I’m the person who changes the jug most of the time. The only time I’ve drank bottled water it was given to me by–you guessed it…a White person.
From Vanity License Plates:
“I personally love the water from the outside water hose. Anyone else love that taste?”
Your man the Goat loves drinking hose water. Especially from his favorite bucket.
That’s some mighty good well water!
~The Goat…
“…if you live in Ontario, whose infrastructure are a wreck after a decade of abandonment by cut-and-run ‘conservatives’”
Fear of Canadian conservatives undermining infrastructure? Noe that’s a funny whiteperson fear. I’m sensing a new standard of whiteness has been established!
Funny. I love water…always use a tap filter though..otherwise it actually tastes like toxins. I hate plastic drink bottles – if anything because of that plastic popping noise they make when they’re almost finished…and then the slurping…and sucking down of the backwash. Disgusting!
Maybe the people drinking bottled water realize how many toxic chemicals and metals are in tap water… but they also probably don’t realize that the plastic in bottles are just as unhealthy.
Maybe they’ve visited this site and looked up the chemicals in their tap water and they’re a little disturbed.
http://www.ewg.org/tapwater/index.php
But maybe they’re just ignorant that tap water is a common drink for most people in the country.
This site made me laugh hard. Someone emailed me a link to this spin off http://stufffilmcriticslike.wordpress.com
Totally true! in CA 619
You got me on the brita, but water does taste bad out here.
My vote for future posts:
1) 20% tip at restaurant regardless of service, because “I used to be a waiter once” by somebody in the group
2) Burning man
3) Music Festivals
4) Hiking equipment for everyday civilian use, caribaners, heave duty backpacks, etc.
5) Ethnic hobbies – belly dancing, capoira, or drum circles.
This blog is halarious keep up the great work!!!
Haha… my white boyfriend shifted from nalgene to Metal twist cap bottle last year … hehehe …
Haha… my white boyfriend shifted from nalgene to Metal twist cap bottle last year … hehehe …
christian, i love you. this is my favorite so far i think.
They also like to talk about being “dehydrated” instead of “thirsty.”
re: 143 TurkeySwiss
Read the fucking link, people actually died or lost their livers. Cut-and-Run politics is a legitimate worry.
I don’t get why ‘Tax-and-Spend’ Liberals should be a insult accepted by the public, ‘tax and spend’ is what the government is suppose to do! They collect the fees, and then run our errands! If the country is a company, the Cut-and-Run ‘conservatives’, are really short-term thinkers always moving towards liquidation.
For the record, Canadian Liberals and Conservatives are very different from American Republicans and Democrats, at least it used to be, it’s uncanny. I actually considered myself a ‘Progressive Conservative’ first, before Mike Harris corrupted the concept and the national party was eaten up by the fringe neo-cons. Conservative PM Diefenbaker was the first PM who actually sat down and talked personally to the aboriginals. The wife of Conservative PM Joe Clark was the first to keep her own name.
…and Conservative PM Thompson (1892-1894) was a women’s rights advocate, and had he lived longer, the right to vote would have came earlier.
“We look forward to it as one of the aims which are to be accomplished in the public life of Canada, because the Conservative party believes that the influence of women in the politics of the country is always for good. I think, therefore, that there is a probability of the franchise being extended to the women on the same property qualifications as men.” John Thompson, September 1893, on women’s suffrage.
http://www3.sympatico.ca/goweezer/canada/thompson.htm
Niggers… I searched for the word nigger and didn’t find it here. I guess white people don’t like niggers
I had a white roommate that insisted on keeping the Brita pitcher on the counter because cold water is bad for you, or so I was told.
#77 sharing their political views
#78 jamba juice/ low fat frozen yogurt
#79 baking things/ food network
#80 smug satisfaction from knowing more about coltrane/davis than their black friends
#81 acoustic guitars, every white guy (regarless of playing ability or interest) owns one and its usually covered with dust, next to a stack of beatles tabs (this is also spreading to asian guys)
You have got to post on Ultimate frisbee. Like triathletes, but whiter.
I am becoming more white as the days pass by. I was originally Hispanic… This is what I get for living with a WASP.
I now carry a Sigg and drink filtered water.
http://100thingsblackpeoplelike.blogspot.com/
#88 jp
“blogs (including being the first to discover a cool blog)”
my boyfriend + i have been talking non-stop about this site, and emailing links to friends.
#148 Brita Boy
“1) 20% tip at restaurant regardless of service, because “I used to be a waiter once” by somebody in the group”
HAHA!! ex-waiter’s guilt!
Wow. Ok.
I bought two Sigg bottles last month, I am so busted! But I bought a Waterwise stovetop/campfire distiller and distill my own water. The cats even get distilled water instead of tap. Do I win?
FWIW though, fluorine in the water is bad news. A recent study in China revealed a 10 point drop in IQ in children raised on the stuff. It’s a toxic byproduct of some manufacturing process, and it’s even used to kill rats and roaches. Actually fluorine is one of the few things that WILL kill a roach so you KNOW it’s got to be bad. It’s a neurotoxin, like MSG and Aspartme.
Source:
http://www.nationalwatercenter.org/epa_&_fluoride.htm
Fluorine was first used by Hitler and Stalin to make their concentration camp inmates “placid.” The result was “Lobotomy Lite.” After WWII was over a whole mess of Nazi war criminals came to the US, and they brought their funny ideas with them. PROZAC is made with fluorine! Ever read/see Valley of the Dolls? All the white 1950’s suburban housewives were on Prozac and . . . gin, I think. Especially the ones who dreamed of escape.
Brita does not remove fluorine. They have a list of minerals that Brita removes, and fluorine is not on it, so if you have a Brita, surprise! you’re still drinking rat poison. Distilling is the only thing that works. That and buying spring water. I get it in glass bottles and re-use the bottles for my distilled water. OR, start waving your pitchforks at your local government officials and tell them to stop fluoridating. A few towns have had success with this approach.
I started dating a white girl and she was one of those carrying a bottle of water around at all times. Now we have been married for 14 years and she is not buying bottled water anymore. I assume that she just gave up and was following my example and drinking tap water. Wrong!!! she simply started using filtered water just like you posted. Man you are right on every post. Very observant.
Whats wrong with having a refillable water container? I put the water from the tapp into my nalgene bottle. i dont understand whats wrong with that….
go ahead: drink tap water where i’m from. it kills house-pets because of the arsenic levels. my laundry comes out orange-tinted.
water purifiers, people. if you don’t use them, you are just begging for mercury poisoning.
I am white. I am female. Last week I ordered the SIGG water bottle PLUS the Brita water filter system on amazon.com. I am currently awaiting my new water-drinking system. I live in LA and since I was about 15 they have told us to NOT DRINK THE TAP WATER…. now, they say we have the best tasting water around…WTF? Anyway, just realized we were using toooooo many toss-out bottles and hate the waste.
Proud to be a stereotype 🙂
I am weird about water. ever since my city figured out how to neutralize the swampy smell and taste of our clean city water – which they did with chemicals, of course – my Pur water pitcher began getting less and less use. Occasionally I forget and I pour a drink from it. Yech, tastes like ‘frigerator!
So now I am so cutting edge. Ever notice how great cold tap water tastes in a 7 ounce clear glass tumbler. Remarkable.
votes for more stuff….
REI
Carabiners as key chains
reggae
New “retro looking” cars like PT Cruisers and HHRs
hookahs
cigar lounges
Those bottles used to be used for carrying Coleman Fuel in for camping. The marketeers should be proud.
Another spot on posting,
2 brief observations:
First of all, I’m not white (although I did choose one of the whitest names I could think of off the top of my head before posting).
I HOPE that certain white folks who do not, will realize why ethnic minorities get offended when white people use words like “nig*a” (I’m not black either). There is that contingent that complains “why can’t we use it? They use it!” THIS BLOG IS WRITTEN BY A WHITE GUY. That changes the general perception of it, and makes the criticisms more acceptable, and even funny. Why? Because it’s simply just different when someone from your own ethnic community says something about your community, as opposed to an outsider. This point seems to be lost on alot of white people…..There are some incredibly racist rants up here by white people who were under the impression that an Asian person was behind it, and so they lashed out in the ugliest ways. I’m sure that most of them would NOT have reacted the same way had they known that this brilliant blog is the product of a caucasian. Of course these bigots will deny this. I wouldn’t expect any less.
What about the black man that told me about Kangen water? oooooooohhh the racism.
It wasn’t until this moment that I ever referred to him as a black man. Your shit makes me think racist.
I think that the water bottle should be made the official State Bird of Colorado. Of course being at altitude we dehydrate faster.
My girlfriend and I just fill our bottles from the tap (filtered, of course), so we also fall into the “recycling” category, (though not intentionally).
Where is Loaded Diaper?
Man, this is the funniest shit I have read in a loooong time! The blog about recycling is classic, I get white people coming over to my apartment all the time to drink and when ever they are done with a can or a bottle they always ask do you recycle? I’m like fuck no! The look on their face is priceless.
#77- REI (They love this shit, cuz I can’t afford it!)
#78- Rock gyms- (they love climbing shit)
#79- Mt. Everest- (White people love being on top of the world!)
#80- Expensive bongs (As anyone heard of the Hurricane?) check it out!
Saving Muslim women…..Another potential topic?
I can’t wait for some of the responses to that comment. “Well, they need to be saved!” Why don’t you try asking one of them first, before bombing their countries back to the stone age, in order to redeem their women folk from the evil clutches of their mysogynistic, goat screwing, bomb building, violent and hairy fathers, brothers, and husbands (of which I am one)….White people have been running this line in regards to the Muslim world since Napoleon and even before..
CAN I PLEASE WRITE A BLOG ENTRY ON THIS? Please? Better yet, I can speak to any one of a number of intelligent, articulate, educated and independent Muslim women who would jump at the chance to write about this particularly deadly fetish of alot of white folk….
What about?
1) Cape Cod
2) Chardonnay
3) Saliboats
4) Chrysler Seibring Convertibles (preferably champagne color)
5) Marathons
Beer Pong! White people love it! and other drinking games too!
When you consider all the toxic things like tolit bowl cleaner that go into the water supply. I can’t understand why tap water can be considered safe to drink. The taste of tap water is also not very good. Water like Dansai is only tap water that is filtered. I found that filters make the water taste bad. Bactaria lives in the filters. Filtered water just won’t cut it. But, that’s ok if other people want to drink tap water to help reduce the carbon foot print, but count me out.
White people like reading this blog. And suggesting items to put on the site.
Funny sh*t.
I always wondered why my (white) female colleague lugged around a water bottle, with the water slushing all around and even getting warm. Yuck.
I wondered: “does she sometimes get so thirsty that if she didn’t take a quick sip, something serious would happen to her?”.
No I know why. lol.
This blog is bullshit. If the same thing were done for “What Black People Like,” it would cause controversy. Way to support double standards douchebag.
the sad thing is i bet half of the water in our bottles is actually tap water. i bet we wouldn’t even taste the difference. spoiled brats.
great website.
other things that come to mind…
CROCS!
Garrison Keillor, talking about what countries their ancestors were from, tea, indigenous artifacts, the Beatles, and shorts.
As a “white guy”, at first I thought that this blog was going to make me really angry…
Hilarious! Good stuff. Keep it up.
Isn’t it funny that those Sigg bottles were ALL THE RAGE in Europe in like 1994 or so?
#77 – Hiking
Yeah, but tap water doesn’t have sparkling bubbles in it, nor fancy names like “San Pelligrino or “Perrier”. I’ve never been to Italy or France, but I suspect their tap water does.
White people love Duke basketball and the Boston Celtics…..
….oh and backyard wrestling
I am still waiting for Ultimate Frisbee and Sailboats.
I prefer my water straight from the ground. And yes I use a Nalgene, but I don’t give time for anything bad to seep in, but then again I don’t really worry about that stuff either.
Also, my first recollection of people using metal bottles was when one of my coworkers on the trail crew back in ought-one used a Sig fuel bottle to bring bourbon on backpacking trips. Sig has since started making aluminum bottles with fancy alcohol labels screened onto them.
#77 love to reference studies and research to further prove their point.
#78 get their history lessons and learn about other cultures from hollywood movies (i.e. Black Hawk Down, Inconvenient Truth, Memoirs of a Geisha, 300 etc). If hollywood never covered it, it never happened.
#79 Kiss their dogs on the mouth
#80 Sleep with their dogs.
#90 Oprah > Jesus. nuff said.
Where is the golf and/or hockey? And cake-eaters?
Also, gotta love that ‘clander’ has a separate blog documenting all of his simulated college football games on XBox360 – keep preaching about white stereotypes while you perpetuate stereotypes of your own buddy.
I.Love. This. Blog.
Black Girl, metal water bottle (although NOT SIGG), purified and tap (no ice in my glass o’ water, please). drinking from my metal bottle as I type.
you should invent an “are you a white person?” test. unfortunately, i seem to be a chocolate-covered whitie (otherwise known as an Oreo). damn you Connecticut, damn you to hell!!
but i do have a question for white people vis-a-vis gentrification: why do you move into neighborhoods even black/latino/asian/native/working-class people are scared to live in? does your whiteness really protect you from being shot/mugged/raped/jacked?
shit.
#77 have identity crises inspired by this blog, then muse about how it’s only fair that someone turned an anthropologist’s eye on us for once…
interestingly enough this story was released today..the price of livin green has just been raised..http://www.kptv.com/news/15424379/detail.html
Please add that white people will never call themselves American, always part Italian or Irish. White people love feigning Irish ancestry.
Also add:
misquoting Ghandi (and Ghandi in general) “hate the sin, love the sinner” actually is from St. Augustine.
Actually, just aphorisms in general. When white people say an appropriate aphorism it settles any dispute.
reading the economist because we feel intellectual subscribing to magazines with job adds for Harvard professorships.
Expensive home-speaker systems.
Trying Czech Absinthe.
college experimentation.
Beatnik authors who actually suck ass. Grr….Naked Lunch. Especially On the Road. (this may just be a college thing however)
brewing your own beer.
Sensitivity and unchecked relativism.
Glorification of the 60s.
The Beatles.
White people love bungalows. White people also love Ranch-style houses (10 years ago, this would not have been the case), and they hate the false grandeur and vaulted-ceilings of mid-90s tract houses derisively referred to as “McMansions”. The smaller the better.
to askmewhyiwearamask:
That’s really pitiful. Especially since white people created Stuff White People Like. For you (or someone else) to create a blog attacking black people “in response” to Stuff White People Like is extremely sad. Just goes to show that even when white people poke fun at their own, other white people will always find a way to try and degrade black people.
NEWS FLASH: You failed.
It’s funny how as soon as Stuff White People Like was created, some whites were all “Oh, would it be funny if there was a site called Stuff Black People Like?”
Why automatically insert “Black people”? Aren’t there “Asian People”, “Indian People”, “Hispanic People”? I guess not, because Whites get offended at a little satire and automatically start inserting Black people into the mix with “Oh, would it be funny if there was a site called Stuff Black People Like?” For those who throw this out. Guess what? It’s racism at its finest. So embedded in your core, you spew it out without blinking twice. They might as well find a corner to sit down, suck their thumbs, and cry for all that nonsense.
I’m happy a white person created this site to show certain white people (and some people of other races) that they need to humble themselves. The creator of this site admitted that he was poking fun of himself and others within his race. It would make sense that if you had a problem you would take it up with him. But obviously, in doing that, it wouldn’t give you an excuse to show how racist you are.
LOL . . . so sad.
eww!!!
http://www.kptv.com/news/15424379/detail.html
Thanks for throwing the smack down on my fellow whiteys. Bottled water is such a scam.
This blog is hilarious but the pile-on comments are even more so.
“white people like to read!”
“white people don’t like to buy gas!”
“white people like to wear clothes!”
“white people like to be healthy!”
“white people like to be informed about current events!”
“white people don’t like corporate news sources!”
“white people like food that tastes good!”
“white people don’t take the FDA’s word for it!”
“white people like lower prices!”
“white people like to have fun!”
Keep em coming people – hilarious!
Too #200 Tammy; as a Black male I totally agree with you and couldn’t have said it myself. This is a funny site in some sections but it wouldn’t be the same site if someone other than a Black person started Stuff Black People Like. This is a funny site but it is also an excuse for racism to raise it’s head and dog out Black people. Again, great post.
Re: Michelle in LA
Yes – I think your subscription to cottage living might count. Funny how it’s the first thing non white people around me think should be added to the blog.
I like how you summed up what the blog is about when you commented on a different entry. It’s easy describing to people why this site is so addictive until they read it.
to spikewebbe:
Thanks for co-signing Spike. I’ve been holding my “tongue”, but somebody had to say it. People can be so ignorant in their bliss.
It’s not* easy describing to people why this site is so addictive until they read it.
Damn! I’m a white people and I don’t have a metal bottle yet. I also drink from the tap. I’m a bad white people. 😦
If you had really researched white people, you would know that the REAL ones don’t drink Aquafina or Dasani, as both of these are tap water filtered through reverse osmosis. Not elitist enough for us. I personally drink Zephyrhills, and yes I recycle the bottle.
#78 – The North Face
Every white is allergic to at least one thing.
To Tammy:
No problem; I did check that idiot’s racist site and it’s racists as hell; this site is funny and overall it’s not mean spirited for the most part. I work in an all white office and yesterday I was laughin at one of the entries and a co worker asked what I was laughing about but I didn’t tell her or show her the site because I’m not sure if she would’ve gotten the humor of the site.
I fear that we’ve gone one step further–in the desire to Euro-ize our whiteness–and now it’s BUBBLY water, not STILL water that’s all the rage. Ooooooooooo. (those are bubbles)
I agree with The North Face…but it has to be imbedded in a post called Montana.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot…
Telemarking. You don’t get ANY whiter.
This blog has become passé.
I would recommend turning off comments and not letting the general public espouse their ideas of race here. Sadly, the comments are starting to take away from the assumed intent of the blog.
Also, I hope you don’t start trying to appeal to your rapidly growing audience in your subsequent posts. Keep your aim at the demographic you started out with.
to spikewebbe:
Yeah, I don’t see this site as being mean-spirited at all. White people like coffee? Like marathons? Like expensive sandwiches? Like bottled water?
How can you really get offended at stuff like that? And then create a site targeting black people (because there’s no other race of people – LoL) “in response” to stuff like this? Give me a break.
200 Tammy and 203 spikewebbe,
I mostly agree with both of you. But let me give you some perspective from a whitey like myself.
Because of the oppression that white people have placed on black people in the past, in turn there have been a number of changes in our society to try and balance everything out. Most all of this is good and necessary but many of my own generation (born in ’77) have grown up in fear of becoming what many white people were in the past.
People aren’t born racist, but white people grow up in a racist system that favors them. You can be rich or poor, but if you’re white you’re told that you have a structural advantage. Many whites start to resent the system. Most of them still have to work extremely hard to accomplish their goals in life (just like everyone else) and they start to hate it when anyone talks about fairness. (because they had to fight and struggle too) The mistake many white people make is to look at the ones crying for equality instead of being angry at the system that causes the inequality.
So basically, many white people get tired of hearing about what you can and can’t say. And that talk most often comes from black people (maybe rightly so but you just don’t hear it as much from other minorities like Asians, Hispanics ). This might be why people come on this blog and turn it into a white vs. black thing. Its not right – but its not blatantly racist either.
Speaking of the word “racist” – white people are terrified of being called racist – terrified! I know white people who won’t even say the work “black” to describe someone. They’re to scared!
lol…the city of albuquerque, nm just banned buying water bottles for it’s employees. The thing is most of their employees are hispanic….hmmmm. 😉
Let me know when you get to really big asses with butt cracks the size of Quechee Gorge.
Opps, my bad. Thought this was the things blacks like page.
thanks so much for schooling me on the evolution of the water bottle. silly me, i’m still lugging around my moldy 32 oz. nalgene. but pray tell, what on earth should i do about my “i voted” sticker? those things aren’t easy to peel off in one piece.
Tammy and spikewebbe,
I totally agree with both of you. But it goes both ways. I’ve read a lot of non whites coming on here and saying, “ya, I hate white people to” or “ya, white people should all just die”. The funniest part about this blog is that the accusations aren’t really offensive at all, “white people like the public library”? – and yet many people use it as an excuse to pile on high and mighty whitey.
a few other things white people like:
-stylish glasses
-top 10 lists
-trance
-$50 worn-in chuck taylors
-cellphone holsters
-being at the top of the power structure (i like this one especially)
‘This allows them to feel good about using a refillable bottle, but it also makes it more complicated, which they also like.’
This amused me but I was unsure whether typing ‘LOL’ was now passe.
I hope no one is actually drinking Arrowhead or Dasanai, because those bottled waters are worse than tap.
I made a site “in response” to blacks because no other race wrote this blog. THAT much is obvious. You can tell by the blatant stereotypes being applied to all white people which, in reality, apply to all RICH people, of any skin color. And no group hates white people THAT much or resnts people with wealth THAT much as poor ignorant brainwashed black youths do. The same group that calls people “white” for being educated.
Actually, #223, it is a white person who writes this blog. A white person who probably likes a lot of what is being made fun of here. It’s called ‘irony’.
My friend’s mom, who happens to be white, told me about how nalgene bottles release toxin into the liquids they hold the other day …. and then she told me to buy a metal bottle!
I LOVE THIS PLACE
HYSTERICAL! I live on a farm in Tennessee, and have well water and it was dug by my father, so we know it is clean; however, my mother refuses to drink tap water. It tastes 10 times better than anything that you can get from the supermarket, but oh well…. i just laugh at her!
I now know what to get her for Christmas — a metal water bottle… LMAO
shit! i’m behind on the nalgene issue. i better go buy a metal bottle.
Who the hell cares? Why is it any of your business that people (and black and hispanic people drink bottled water too, idiot) prefer the taste and convenience of bottled water? Let me ask you, do you eat nothing but rice, and soy, and the cheapest, blandest food available that will provide all your nutritional needs? No? Well then shut the F*** up about what other people choose to spend THEIR money on when it comes to paying a little extra for taste.
I made the response blog black because:
There are several clues taht the poster of THIS blog is black:
– Generic phrases used by every black comedian as “punch lines”
– Mos Def
– The association of white with “the rich”
– Barack Obama
– the guest column highlighted hip-hop songs
Hope that answered your question.
haha
so true!
If you really want to see something stupid, google bling H20, it’s 40 dollars a bottle…
This is racist humour, but it’s funny. Racist humour is too easy to be worth anything. You should try to make it let racially based.
billy beyond
Sorry Christian – I still love my Nalgene bottle and will never give it up, toxins be damned! That bottle filled with hot water kept me alive on many a winter campout and I simply could never relegate it to the trash heap.
Funny blog, but it only applies to liberal white democrats. I hate most of the shit on here. Except coffee. And Arrested Development. You got me on those two.
To the author:
You seem to have haphazardly created some of the most interesting sociological source material that I have seen. You accidentally generated a large-N opinion poll of many of the things that people are afraid to say, even to researchers. Most white women in America will actually start crying if you call them a racist repeatedly; but, here on your site, you’ve coaxed people into expressing the most closely guarded emotions and prejudices. If a person were to QUANTIFY this material, he would be doing a much better job of gaging public opinion than half the studies introduced into undergraduate education. Please, save these archives. Some lowly sociology PHD candidate might someday be knocking on your door.
askmewhyiwearamask,
With that logic, it would be easier to assume that the author is Asian or European.
What is clear is that you were looking for any type of reason (however false) to make a black stereotype website. You were also clearly irked by this blog, especially thinking that it has a black author. Now that you are starting to realize that it isn’t a black author, your blog is all of a sudden not reactionary anymore, it’s just in bad taste
Suggestion for you: Look through the flickr photostream that the author has listed on the right. That is the author’s flickr account. This should dispel any notions of a non-white person writing this blog for you.
Funny. I never gave up tap water and the whole bottled water thing really surprised me when I visited Europe and then moved to the west coast. White and grew up in the Midwest. Midwesterners are too cheap for bottled water. They prefer their biggie coke. Stylish water makes me cringe but I feel like a freak at the gym when I fill up my bottle from the tap.
But now, I drink tap water out of a Sigg bottle that says Google. LOL! Too bad I have to give up my Nalgene bottle. Its surface says much used and much loved. Guess I love my toxins.
It’s okay to laugh at me.
to 229 askmewhyIwearamask:
First of all you, your forum sucks and is racist and the person who started this blog isn’t Black; that’s obvious. I learned about this blog from the LA Times where the person who started this blog was interviewed and they’re White. Also, if a Black person did start this blog it would’ve been a little more hardcore–not anything about how White people like bottles of water or don’t dance at concerts. This is a funny site but I can see how many White people will get offended and all of a sudden its an excuse to dog out non Whites, which will leads to racist comments about Black people, just like what you did. Anyway, I’m thirsty and need some water because my throat is dry.
HA! You people aren’t white. I use solar and wind power to distill my toilet water and carry it in recycled coconut shells that I hang on the handle bars of my bicycle on the way to the farmer’s market to trade for organically grown bean sprouts in bags made from worn out tee shirts. Now, THAT’s white.
Is there anything on your website I haven’t done? Why, just last year I changed from plastic water bottles to a Sigi bottlle! In fact I was schlepping my Sigi bottle around town with me just this very morning! It has skulls and anime characters on it so it also looks very cool in that “white people” sort of way.
Needless to say soft drinks and the corn syrup they contain are completely out. White people hate corn syrup. Corn syrup, bad.
@molanas
Stuff White People Like #77: blog whoring. Well, blogging in general. But blog-whoring in the comments of other blogs is definitely a particular strong point of white culture.
@skippy
Black People Love Us: awesome! The last two pictures under ‘hanging out’ are perfect.
LL Bean
Hope one ub dem big pilz ub wadder boddls dont fall on nobuddy …
Hope one ub dem big pilz ub wadder boddls dont fall on nobuddy …
I used old glass bottles, like former Sobe or Lipton tea bottles. I don’t drink that chemical crap, though, (OK, only sometimes). It’s way more modest looking, and glass is better for you (although difficult to use to fashion lids). Metal is sooooo yesterday.
Ellen,
Sorry to break it to you, but ‘anime’ is just not cool in a ‘white person sort of way’. Perhaps you meant in a ‘socially awkard / introverted / i like video games and d&d’ sort of way.
white people love skiing/winter sports
White people like revisionism too much. It’s not just the far right wing whites, but the far left wing whites love it too. For example, when illegal immigration is discussed, far left wing whites always say that the SW US was Mexico, they were there first.
Far left wing whites are so racist that they want to dismiss the fact that native peoples owned those lands. They think that if they pretend the Spanish peoples of Latin America are indigenous we’ll just accept it. When confronted with this, they then pretend that the Spanish that invaded the SW US lived in “peace and justice” with the native peoples, here and back in what was by then Mexico, and other parts of Latin America.
They completely want us to forget that the Spanish invaders committed genocide against the native peoples. Raped and pillaged their lands. So successful were they in their genocide, they needed workers to work in the mines and fields. They brought more Spanish, but realized they didn’t want to pay them. Inspired by Spain’s trading partners, the Arabs, they came up with the trans-Atlantic slave trade (that’s right, it wasn’t the English. I know that might be initially disappointing to far left wing white people, but just remember, the Spanish are Europeans too!)
The Spanish were the ones who started and turned slavery into a big business. In fact the Spanish crown and government grew fatter and richer than ever before on slavery, and the gold and other resources it used slaves to harvest. Spain is never held to account for this, and it should. Buying Africans and shipping them across the Atlantic, and selling them in Spanish colonies, and that eventually included Spanish colonies in what later became the US. They introduced the practice to the English, but never stopped until they were forced to.
Now, I know a bit back some far left wing whites were thinking about how yes, Spanish people are white, and European, but the “brown people” from Mexico/Latin America are native, that’s not true. There are still only relatively few indigenous peoples remaining in Latin America. Terms like “Mestizo” and “Chicano” have no basis in reality. They are made up terms that exploit the indigenous peoples who were overwhelmingly slaughtered. Those that remained where oppressed and discriminated against. In Mexico and elsewhere in Latin America there isn’t the intermarriage the far left wing claims, the people there are too racist for that. They look down on the “indio” as much as they look down on those of African descent. There are some indigenous left, but not enough to account for what you’re claiming. European Spanish people range from white to brown, the whiter from the north, and the darker skinned Spaniards from the south of the country.
So, getting back on track, the far left’s illegal alien buddies are the descendents of those who commited the genocide of the indigenous, and created the slave trade that the far left like to blame the English for being soley responsible for.
Now, the English have a share in the blame, but at least the English have admitted it and tried to make amends. The Spanish however, refuse to be accountable for the wrongs they have perpetuated, and will lie, create false histories. Their own societies continue to perpetuate very overt racism and discrimination.
The white far left need to ignore that, just as they need to ignore that the policies they advocate for today, open borders and amnesty are in fact a return to slavery of poor black, brown and white American citizens, and ultimately to illegal aliens as well.
I guess what that shows is that the white far left, is no different than the white far right.
Next one should be white people love to hate fat people and love being anorexic
some ideas:
“white people like stories about kidnapped white coeds”
“white people like Weird Al Yankovic” (further ideas: anything from Weird Al’s “White & Nerdy” video)
“white people like cold climates” (white college students have no problem hiking to class across campus in the snow in nothing but a hoodie, gym shorts, and flip flops)
“white people like Scrabble”
“white people like Renaissance fairs”
This is more of a “white people DON’T like”, but:
“white people don’t like to spank their children” (or institute any form of corporal punishment)
aluminum bottles are dangerous too as exposure to aluminum causes severe memory loss.
nothing is safe!
aww, snap! i have that pink nalgene in the grass, but i guess i’m gonna have to trade it in for a trendy and environmentally-friendly swiss metal bottle!
Aside from those more obvious considerations touching Moby Dick, which could not but occasionally awaken in any man’s soul some alarm, there was another thought, or rather vague, nameless horror concerning him, which at times by its intensity completely overpowered all the rest; and yet so mystical and well nigh ineffable was it, that I almost despair of putting it in a comprehensible form. It was the whiteness of the whale that above all things appalled me.
good call, steve g! llbean is uberwhite!
adoptable asian babies
How to get the stickers off your water bottles: Concentrated orange peel based cleaner. If you don’t have any lying around try – I’m serious – peanut butter. Lighter fluid as a last resort.
Hey, one of my Sigg bottles is shaped like a flask. I really WAS planning on putting booze in it!
My input:
Martha Stewart’s magazine, but we NEVER try any of the recipes or crafts even though we think we want to, or ought to, or something.
National Public Radio
Sports outfits and gear for high-risk “extreme” sports we’ve never even tried. SUVs that have never been off road.
@ 215 I love Black Star
You say:
“So basically, many white people get tired of hearing about what you can and can’t say. And that talk most often comes from black people (maybe rightly so but you just don’t hear it as much from other minorities like Asians, Hispanics ). This might be why people come on this blog and turn it into a white vs. black thing. Its not right – but its not blatantly racist either. ”
You can flip it any way you like, but at the end of the day, automatically attacking black people because of a blog created by a white person is still racist.
Taking the past into consideration is neither here nor there. One only has to look at the facts at hand:
1) Stuff White People Like was created by a white person
2) That white person decided to poke fun at himself and most likely his friends, acquaintances, and family
3) He stated that it is satire
So why drag black people into the mix by questioning the funny factor of a Stuff Black People Like? Why are Black people pushed into the spotlight for simply being Black? You have tons of white people laughing at themselves on this site (because they see the joke in it).
I’m black and I LOVED Juno, I LOVE tea, I recycle, and I eat an expensive sandwich every now and then. I see myself in some of these things. But then someone has to get nasty and create a site that targets black people in a negative way.
A lot of times people don’t want to admit to the ugliness that is in their hearts, until they feel it’s necessary to “defend” themselves. In the case of the person who decided to create an entire blog to stereotype black people “in response” (as stated on their site) to Stuff White People Like, I’ve come to the conclusion that a racist spirit is what drove them to do so.
Obviously, even though it is a well-known fact that the blogger for Stuff White People Like is white, that wasn’t a good enough reason to NOT create a retaliation site against blacks.
Call me stupid, but I like to deal with logic and the matter at hand.
check out http://everythingimnot.wordpress.com
I just had the pleasure of reading this blog near the end of a long workday. It was too amusing not to share, so I did just that with my white & asian coworkers.
I’m black, and let me tell you, we ALL had a good laugh b/c funny is just that, Funny! Too much thought goes into the underlying meaning of what people are possibly ‘really’ thinking.
It’s not always that serious. Save the tirades for when it is.
Actually, Sigg bottles aren’t that good because they contain aluminium, which increases the risk of Alzheimer’s.
Klean Kanteen is perfectly safe as it is ultra-light stainless steel.
Check out http://pnewb.wordpress.com!
256 Tammy,
Maybe I didn’t make it clear that I don’t agree with people coming on this site and making it a black/white issue. I was simply saying that to call it flat out racist is a little too simplistic for my taste. This is a much more complicated issue. Using blanket statements like “racist” doesn’t really add to the race/class conversation in this country – it only makes white people want to bottle their feelings and nothing changes…Again, its definitely wrong – not racist.
I’m with Tammy (#256). A lot of people posting here seriously need to get a life.
Also, despite being pro-tap water, I admit htat it does have a slight aftertaste. And this is from Washington, a state with incredibly clean tap water.
My favorite part of this website is the comments. Like when white people have to up their whiteness by saying things like “to be fair…”, and informing us the “truth” about water. Also the fact that racism comes up. Really? So funny.
is this supposed to be a joke or are you and a large portion of your commentators above this comment redneck, backwards thinking hicks like a lot of the white people in this country? Let me know.
“Do you know that your bottle of water has a bigger carbon footprint than me? I think they were originally going to call it ‘aboriginal blood’ but that bottle was as close as they could get. You know, legally.”
BEAUTIFUL! Great witty writing!
One thing white people really like is having negative reactions to things. One example of this is how I think this blog is a piece of crap, and you are all morons.
oh, and #85- Loves Irony, Go Fuck Yourself!
> But yes many white people have jumped on the Aluminum band wagon.
OMG – I wonder why aluminium pans went out of fashion … I wonder why they CLEAN so easily … oh I see the alu comes off revealing a nice new layer fresh for consumption. But don’t worry, coating it in plastic is a long term solution. Maybe but I wanna see proof! Yeah, proof, that other thing white guys care about.
My boyfriend is Hispanic and I am white. Now I know why he takes no interest when I talk to him about public radio and the environment! This blog is great! Now I’ll stop pressuring him to be white. I didn’t even know I was until now.
its really apparent that you are from los angeles
This blog would be much nicer if we could moderate that abortion troll once and for all. Point made, oh about 20 years ago. Cleaning out garbage is not the same as censorship. His point is made, so nobody can claim he’s being repressed.
If a point isn’t germane, repeating it every post doesn’t make it any more so.
White people, black people and all colors in between need to be cautious about what’s in their water.
In third world countries it parasites. Here we thoroughly pollute our water. So much so it’s suspected that some forms of cancer are caused by drinking tainted water over long periods of time.
Plus certain municipalities think you need flouridated water.
As a former resident of NYC I was always surprised at the different shades of brown, yellow and grey the water would be. Especially when collected in the bath tub.
The water may be fine leaving the reservoir, but it has to travel through a lot of old pipe to get to you.
Purchasing water is a wise move if you can trust the source.
Water is a Happy thing. People don’t like being thirsty. It’s easier to carry around a water bottle where ever you go than carrying around a glass of water. Especially outside of your house, like when your running, or well, doing just about anything.
What the hell this has to do with White people is beyond me. I’ve seen Asians and Black people drink Water from Bottles before.
I’ve even seen sarcastic Cali Chicks do it, Jess!
I’d say it was a nice try, Jess, but it wasn’t. You’ve done better work. Try again.
Have a Good One.
Wait, I’m confused. If I’m white and I like this site, then I suck. And if I hate this site, then I suck?
I can’t win!
How about this?
#78 always looking for the moral high ground
Have you ever tasted water in the California Central Valley? It dissolves the taste buds right off your tongue.
Kids, it’s not racially based, it’s class based.
And it’s Satire. With a a capital s.
“Bottles of Water” is funny but after the 95th comment my eyes began to glaze over. Soon I had a vision of white folks walking uptown on a Saturday morning to buy a couple of six packs of imported bottled water so they could spend the long summer afternoon setting on the porch, drinking and watching the grass grow. When the sun sets surely they’ll move the water-swilling orgy indoors to watch the paint dry in the parlor.
Here’s one white boy who’s gonna turn in early.
Kids:
It’s not racially-based humor, it’s class-based humor. Specifically a white-collar-job-working-but-mostly-leisure class.
And it’s Satire, with a capital s.
I have to go read the book Oprah told me too. I’m sorta not kidding.
xo
Wow, by now Jughead has his hilarious (in a laugh at him, not with him way) post that barks about how this is a conservative website and the author is clearly biased, and inaccurate and lame. Jughead is a doof.
Well-to-do whites are getting goofed on too. Live with it.
White people really like St Stuff White People Like . I have been emailed this blog by some white person about 215 times in the last 1.5 days.
I had no idea there were metal water bottles. I’m immediately recycling my Nalgene bottle and getting the SIGG.
I agree with what you said, it has become ridiculous to bottle and sell something like water. However, it hasn’t just become white people. If you’d like to generalize, maybe say something more along the lines of ‘Americans’? [Not trying to criticize, just trying to help.] Because America has been for a while now, mainly since post-WWI era, producing unnecessary items, but the problem is that not all of America is white. The majority isn’t.
But all in all, you’re a very good writer. I’ll be checking in a lot.
I haven’t read your other #’s, but if you haven’t already done it, something following the word ‘hypocrisy’?
Keep it up! 😀
~Jilie
have you noticed with people love adding soy sauce to their rice? i always found this strange…
i meant white
# 77 “walking for causes” white people love to raise awareness, but rarely are aware.
I remember as a kid when the concept of bottled water came out, I thought, “There’s NO WAY people are going to buy water packed in a bottle when you can get the stuff for free!” Decades later, here I am, tossing back yet another plastic bottle of Alahambra in the office. The bottled water people convinced us that tap water was unpure and had all sorts of stuff in it. I was so frightened I could almost taste the cooties in the water when I was forced to drink from the tap. Now it’s all about drinking from the tap to conserve the planet. DAMNIT white people, make up your mind!!
Wow! I must be white. BUT I’M NOT. i guess i should go ate some watermelon.
Live in Mexico–you would drink bottled water also–worms are funny looking coming out ones butt–they stretch.
I don’t understand why so many people assume that this blog is an indictment of the things white people like. This blog isn’t saying there’s anything wrong with white people liking these things; it’s merely pointing out that they do. Sheesh. Chill out, people.
I didn’t read all the comments, but anyone that claims that plastic doesn’t leach into the contents of containers– whether water bottles or your favorite “reusable” plastic container that you microwave last night’s leftovers in– is sadly mistaken. Not to mention, a good metal bottle or re-usable coffee cup is stainless steel– not plastic lined on the inside (what’d be the point?). Still use your plastic container, but don’t microwave in it.
On another note– this site really does rock! Love it.
#77 – Asperger’s Syndrome
White people love to think that they have Asperger’s Syndrome.
#77 – Asperger’s Syndrome
White people love to think that they have Asperger’s Syndrome.
Oh shit, sorry…
I used to like this blog a year ago before it got popular.
295…whitest comment ever.
Love it.
White people like to talk about how they liked things before they got popular. Things are always better before they get popular, apparently.
Darn it! Metal bottles are the thing now… I just bought my Nalgene… foiled again!
I am very white.
you are a genius
Is anyone else ambivalent about this blog? If so see my blog for a reaction to it.
Yesterday I broke my friend’s brita filter and I felt really bad so I told her I’d buy her a new one but when I was like “I don’t think I’ll be able to pick one up tonight,” she goes, “That’s fine. I can just buy water for a couple of days.” Seriously? I was like “ok then. Well I’m thirsty now so I’m going to drink some tap water…” Needless to say she didn’t join me.
This post made my day and I personally think that paying for water (especially expensive trendy water like Fiji) is a really heinous concept.
Uh oh – I bought a Sigg bottle not long ago. But I also often just stick my hand under the faucet and do the hand-as-a-cup thing – so I am hoping that offsets the Sigg!
#77 Assgrabber’s Syndrome
or…
#77 NASCAR (too obvious?)
I live in NYC, where there is:
a. a mind-blowing variety of bottled waters to choose from
b. WATER BARS, where you can pay upwards of $50 for a bottle of designer water
c. some of the most high-quality tap water in the nation.
Also, tap water is MUCH more heavily regulated and tested than bottled water. This white girl goes the refillable plastic bottle route (leeching chemicals or not, I figure I’m probably more likely to get cancer from my mascara.
Please, drink the water from my tap in my 85 year old apartment. You will notice a taste, a smell, and little flecks of black material floating around in it.
That’s why I use a filter. I don’t drink my tap water, cause it sucks.
Ice fishing, man. However, that might be a little too low brow for all the rich, white, (and feeling guilty for both, but not enough to give up their trust fund or jobs at daddy’s firm) liberals that this blog so mercilessly skewers.
Schnizzle.
visit http://everythingimnot.wordpress.com
That’s it! White people love Snoop Dogg!
I worked at a day camp last summer, and in order to keep the kids from dying of dehydration, we naturally had to give them water. However, because of health rules, we had to give them a new water bottle every day. So as we walk out of the grocery store with about 30 cases of water bottles, feeling very self conscious, an elderly lady starts yelling at us about how we’re destroying the environment.
We’re sorry for wrecking the environment.
When someone finds a cheap, healthy way of distributing water to 30 some kids for 8 weeks, please tell us.
I read your entire site last night and then realized you had only been on for a month. I heard you on NPR and looked you up. Since I have a bit of experience, this blog reminds me of the very popular book back in the early 1960’s about Preppy behavior and what they like. The book was a great success. I expect like them are making fun of the same bunch of people only 50 years later. You really are very perceptive and aware of your surroundings. I wish you well and hope you can keep up the same level of creativity. I like the noticable lack of advertisements, but how do you pay the bills?
Shit. If this site was on NPR then the universe really is turning in on itself.
so hilarious …
http://www.iphonedecode.info
Old Dead White People liked portable water too. All one needs to do is look back at the Civil War! And the American Revolution! They carried their own variety of ‘bottled’ or ‘canteened’ water.
In fact, you can go back even further. But it’s all about the same thing: white people luv us some clean, clear, non-polluted drinking water!
Great blog! I HATE me some NPR, but a friend does like it, and she suggested I check this out!
Cheers!
Citadel
Heh. NPR! So goes the revolution…
Wow – serious traffic on this post.
For those concerned about water bottle usage – http://www.filterforgood.com/ – Brita teams with Nalgene to cut back!
Scary information about bottled water – http://www.nrdc.org/water/drinking/bw/exesum.asp
As for the safety of Nalgene, that’s debatable. Nalgene (of course) states that the government tests (of 50+ years) have repeatedly shown that the plastic they use is not harmful. But then, we also have this – http://health.usnews.com/usnews/health/healthday/080207/report-shows-dangerous-chemical-can-leach-from-baby-bottles.htm
I still own and use Nalgene… haven’t grown extra organs or limbs yet. Though I must say, the report by usnews concerns me and might have me replacing my Nalgene for a metal drink container.
Great site!
White people love Patagonia products. I love Patagonia. I wear Patagonia. They sell metal bottles, too. I am white. I drink from them and carry them around in my Patagonia backpack while wearing my Patagonia shoes.
We like what you have here and have started our own blog for white people. Its called stuffeducatedblackpeoplelike.wordpress.com
yeah its a long name, but its cool
Some hipster transplants have well water shipped in from their home states. If you find that weird then you have no taste for art or fashion and you are not a real New Yorker.
http://www.diehipster.com
When I saw a picture of a big diplomatic meeting around one of those enormous oak tables, and Arafat and all the rest had plastic water bottles laid out in front of them, then I REALLY knew that white people ruled the world. White people are the new Jews!
So damn hilarious. I love this blog. 🙂
haha
i too was inspired to create my own blog that is similar in format to yours
http://unappreciationpost.wordpress.com/
thanks for the inspiration
I am a white people and I just let the tap run a while before I put my glass underneath it. I know how to do that.
Thank you for stealing the idea of self deprecating humour as a self defense mechanism away from those greedy minority types who have hogged the limelight for far too long. Power to the majority group.
Unfortunately, white people are taking over this blog, in their usual colonialistic way. It was mentioned on NPR. Why do white people have to take over EVERYTHING we like?
Excellent stuff. Keep up the good work. i don’t know how unprofessional this is, but please check out mine…it’s a work in progress.
I’m not trying to “counter” your blog, but only to embrace the style of comedy and satire with a similar topic.
#77 adopting non-white babies
May I suggest some more:
Using the term “kafka-esq”
Declaring a place to sell the best (insert food here), and challenging others to find a better (insert same food). It appeals to our competitive nature.
ya language would be a good thing to examine. Words like touche and and Faustian
And project runway of course.
okay, this is hysterical.
and i think #43, #44, #79, and #158 have the best ideas.
“tattoos”
“feminism
plastic surgery
bestiality
blogging
binge drinking
extreme sport”
“American Express Card – any nonwhite person can apply for and receive a Mastercard or Visa.
Lacrosse scholarships- other than legacy, the only way marginally intelligent white people can still get into the Ivies.
Committees- better than donating to charity because of more recognition and committee membership is nice addition to any resume.
Hardwood floors- White people enjoy using disposable income to replace nonwhite person carpet or tile.”
“jamba juice/ low fat frozen yogurt
baking things/ food network
acoustic guitars, every white guy (regarless of playing ability or interest) owns one and its usually covered with dust, next to a stack of beatles tabs (this is also spreading to asian guys)”
~ a 17-yr-old white girl
oh and i don’t drink water AT ALL because i don’t like the taste; only juice, diet coke (not diet pepsi) and coffee for me
Great blog. Well written,and interesting. What’s even more interesting to me is a non-white person exhibiting all these traits….
I LOVE bottled water…though those metal bottles look pretty sweet. I may have to invest.
I notice a lot of people here say that tap water tastes bad, or icky, or crappy, but most bottled water is tap water anyway. Tap water tends to have characteristic tastes by region, so often new people willl not like the water. Anyone who grew up drinking tap water likes it where they grew up, notwithstading NYC’s cloudy water, but how many people actually grew up in NYC?
It’s funny to see how a fad for drinking water only out of bottles becomes a fad through the acceptance that tap water tastes bad. If you can’t be a food or wine critic, you can at least act like one by criticizing the water! It’s so funny. And dumb. But still funny.
I heard you on NPR yesterday, which is how I found your blog.
I have to say, it’s absolutely hillarious.
Please keep this going!
#77: exposed brick, every white person that walked into my old apartment commented on the exposed brick, and it’s why my white roommate liked the place.
excellent site!. made me laugh.
now get a job you lazy niggers 😀
stuffblackpeoplelike would be pretty funny too.
first thing would probably be: acting like a comicbook figure or crying about having fictional disadvantages in society.
#183 It was called Chappelle’s Show. It was very popular.
You hit the nail on the head! I’ve seen a bunch of white folk around drinking water recently!
(note: references to sarcasm- put this in your blog!)
All I’m going to say is try the water here in my town. Let’s just say snails can’t live in or around our tap water. Cool Post!!!
White people like Wayne Brady! heh
#77 European Soccer
i totally saw a black girl with one of those metal water bottles today in class. sorry dude…
You’ve been inspirational…
http://stufffilmcriticslike.wordpress.com/
the best part of this site is the defensive white people responses. so white. so missing the point.
your site is hilarious
You used my suggestion; thanks! I’m deeply honored to do my part in educating the world on the mysterious ways of the white man.
Congratulations! –
The comments on your blog are at least 20% better than those on youtube.
However,` I suggest changing the name of your blog to “stuff Americans’ like.” This would be just as credible, and, furthermore, would lend you an international flavor (and fame?!).
well…I have a Nalgene which I use daily (with tap water)
and I have a SIGG but I have had it for 8 years. When I was camping in New Zealand in the winter (something I noticed was generally limited to white people) I would fill it with boiling water and put it at the bottom of my sleeping bag.
…good tip for all the campers out there.
As a white outcast/misfit I’m learning so much from your blog, like: the importance of jockying for position, playing ridiculous games, one upmanship, and of course the importance of image. Keep up the good work! I’m hoping that this blog can impart enough practical info to keep me out of the mental hospital (where they put bad whites who won’t fit in).
BTW I hear that many of those water bottles are actually filled with vodka. I know mine is!
Um, oh yeah – white people like being gently parodied about their whiteness so that they can show that they’re socially aware and ‘cool about it’. “Oh it’s true – we’re so white!”
http://www.wondertrash.com
I just saw one of those bottles on flickr and thought it looked cool. I guess that makes me an oreo.
OOOH! Speaking of flickr, that’s something white people like. Publicizing their personal life. Also applies to livejournal, myspace, facebook, etc.
I didn’t read all the comments (so many!), but I will point out that you can’t just turn on the tap and drink everywhere. I live in Asia now, and I definitely can’t do that. But at least the bottled water here is cheap (2l for less than a dollar).
ironicly, people in switzerland actually drink tap water
How Ironic…such a mess when there is people with no water at all.. I think people should be grateful.
Namaste
… http://everythingimnot.wordpress.com
^ stuff all people like
Hilarious yet true.
Yup. Drinking Brita water ALL day from my sigg bottle with a red skull logo. SO WHITE.
SO Hydrated!
I loves me complicated! So True. So White.
PS If you haven’t noticed already MY LAST NAME IS WHITE.
I’m sorry, have you tasted tap water in the South? It tastes like chlorine and is full of lead and fluoride (like the water in many parts of California). I’d rather not fill my body with heavy metals and giardia.
Fluoride, produced as a toxic waste byproduct of many types of heavy industry – such as aluminum, steel, fertilizer, glass, cement and other industries — must be disposed of somewhere. If it’s not used as an additive to water, manufacturers would have to pay millions of dollars to dispose of it properly, so the pressure to keep fluoride listed as a healthy additive to water-and not as an environmental toxin that requires costly disposal – is great and political pressures to keep fluoride in the drinking water is strong.
So, how are filters so deserving of slander?
Maybe…some people like doing their research?
white people like listening to Vampire Weekend.
http://100thingsblackpeoplelike.blogspot.com/
^ also funny? or is it suddenly racist?
LOL! I absolutely love the concept of this blog. 🙂
Hehe, York started his sentence with “I’m sorry” – and expressed some distrust of mainstream medicine and corporate conspiracies too. Absolutely gleaming.
I feel sorry for white folks now, actually, they won’t be able to be themselves without being teased for it by anyone who has read this blog.
In Canada they sing a song about being “Glorious and Free”.
So
There is no way that the Canadian Government would allow any of it’s citizens to be sent away to Syria to be tortured.
Well, not if you are white.
If you’re holding up the wall, you’re missing the point.
Q.
Couldn’t you just substitute the word white, with ‘middle class’, regardless of colour?
Brilliant site. Any tv show from 1987-now has white characters walk in the door, open the fridge, and pour a bottle of water into a glass (or cuddle the bottle while talking).
Do you have blogs about white people loving vegetarianism or sex or watching cable series on DVD?
Tammy: #201
I don’t need any humbling sweetie. uppity black people who THINK they know shit about being poor and white need humbling. get over yourself.
I know for a fact that no one in my family or any of my friends do the majority of the garbage on this list. Why wasn’t it funny when Bill Cosby told blacks to stop being lazy fucks and to raise their kids to appreciate education and stop treating “intelligence” like it’s a white trait? Oh what, I thought it was humor if a person of the SAME RACE said it.
Guess what, it’s not funny when it’s not true, is it?
Same goes for this blog. I can’t find it funny or satirical because it’s things I already hate about celebrities in general. Not “my race”. Imagine for a second if everythinig on here was the same but it was called “stuff black people like”. Wouldn’t it bother you that it was so grossly inaccurate? Wouldn’t it also bother you to be lumped with the people you already despise?
Go tell Dick Cheney that all Republicans are pro-life atheists. See if he laughs. I’m sure a few Republicans ARE, but I can find a lot more who wouldn’t find that humorous or satirical.
white people like hiking.
369 askmewhyiwearamask
YOU DON’T GET IT. this is not SUPPOSED to be about all white people. the writer is getting kicks out of your type of response. and so are all of us (the white people that this blog is really about). please take the time to fully understand what you’re reading before you go and make stupid comments.
k thanks!
Wow – I suddenly feel compelled to buy a metal water bottle. Thank you for informing the white people about this dangerous plastic bottle issue. Upgrading is also an important component of white culture.
I quit drinking water bottles to fit in with the black people at work. Now I’m drinking 2 liter bottles of generic grape soda and orange soda. Thanks for the advice.
NYC allegedly has some of the cleanest tap water in the country, too!
Found this site from the NPR piece you did the other day. These sure do match a lot of what I do, and I always chalked it up to being a liberal environmentalist.
On topic for this post, I have a stainless steel screw top water bottle (none of that alzheimer’s causing aluminum for moi) and I have had it for about three years now. I fill it with water from my reverse osmosis water filter and I can taste the difference when I have to refill with unfiltered water at work.
sarah… then change the blog title and the text. It doesn’t say “omg stuff me and my yuppie asshole friends do to waste our time and money”.
It says “WHITE PEOPLE”. I didn’t “misread” that. And I didn’t misread the comments who think that yes, this blog IS about all white people. The problem is, they agree with it so no one’s attacking them and correcting their “misinterpretation”.
I’m not the only one reading it that way, I’m just one of the people who DISAGREES with it.
Tapwater- as the blogger refers to it- is heavily processed with chemicals, including fluoride. Fluoride, for those who didn’t take chemistry, is a poison that can kill you and in lesser doses it can cause a range of serious health issues including but not limited to hypothyroidism, brittle bones, fluorosis and yellowing of the teeth, gastrointestinal inflammation, digestive dysfunction, dysphagia, hypersalivation, diarrhea, vomiting- should I go on?
Now I know, I know, no one ever makes mistakes working down there at the water plant, in fact since we’ve been able to introduce affirmative action and get rid of all those picky white people I am certain that the quality control has simply skyrocketed- another nitpicky white invention, not that it matters, but since we’re on the topic- so it isn’t possible for the dosages to be out of whack. Ever.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I decided to check out this blog, but I can tell you I am not at all surprised. Not even a little bit. To describe it as reflective of our times wouldn’t do it justice.
Can’t wait to read your new stuffblackpeoplelike blog, that should be a doozy.
Drink up!
“This is a scientific approach to highlight and explain stuff white people like. They are pretty predictable.”
That’s this guy’s explanation. I didn’t “read it wrong”. He said that it’s supposed to be white people, not a specific GROUP (which is what it really is). I’m done posting here. I’ll get my blackpeople blog to 100 items then i’m done with this whole “blogging” bullshit.
askmewhyiwearamask,
It is quite obvious that you just don’t ‘get’ this blog. This blog is not talking about all white people, just a specific sub-section of white people. The satire is aimed at the liberal, urban, pseudo-intellectual, mid to upper middle class, hipster form of white people.
This is not you. You are into Nascar, guns, Larry the Cable Guy, fearing God, and fart jokes. You probably won’t find these things on this blog, but don’t fret. You are still white, albeit the bad kind of white.
Oh, and why do you wear a mask?
Pretty funny. I am Anglo and can see the humor in this, regardless of the inferiority complex that the writer suffers from. Remember, fellow Crackers, it’s fine to write something that is racist (even in satirical form) as long as you are a Non-Anglo and you disguise your mindless diatribe behind a cloak of “we-been-abused-fo-200-years-so-it-be-okay”. If the shoe were on the other foot, you’d certainly be labeled a Nazi Klansman.
I’m just glad some gimp took time out of his meaningless existence to share the things that he/she are most envious of.
Jim Maynard
El Beanertown, Texas
#77 interracial porn.
and always black guy/ white girl
never the other way around.
LOL. yall love that shit.
I give it two Monkey thumbs up…
White people like Weight Watchers.
#380, its the same name I use for my Anonymous business with the church of scientology, but that’s a whole other can of worms we don’t need to get into.
Let’s just say they don’t like people who expose the truths behind their freaky little celebrity cult.
Speaking of which, mr. anonymous poster, why don’t you add Scientology to the list since it’s enjoyable ONLY by the rich.
I can’t believe you think you’re funny; all you do is…hold on, I need to take a sip from my Nalgene (one Apple sticker, one Amnesty sticker on it) filled with Brita water…
oh ok, yeah.
Hi, nice place!
Oh my. I have devoted most of my time today reading this. Its the most entertaining thing….everr. =)
askmewhyiwearamask- go watch rosewood
Ain’t just whites who won’t drink out of the tap
@ 381
The blogger IS white. From Canada. Total Whitey Whiterson. So, not a lot of white envy there.
Damn!!! I’m white and I’m way behind on my freaking water protocol. I’m going out to get the most expensive metal bottle I can right now.
I like to put my un-filtered tap water in my nalgene bottle, I guess I’m edgy like that.
Hahaha. Brutally true ~_~
It’s true. I have that exact Sigg bottle.
ps of course you’re funny. and all of the blogs attempting to imitate this one are godawful.
I think this is so true! Most white people that I know only drink bottled waters. When I see white people on the streets or in the mall there usually carrying bottled water and it’s usually a disani or figi.
This is beautiful and hilarious and clever. Oh, and informative.
Despite my whiteness, I used to be a huge proponent of tap water. However my (white) husband has become a bit of a health/conspiracy freak and has drilled the filtered water necessity into my brain.
As a white woman who now drinks brita-filtered water from a Nalgene bottle, I am humbled and appreciate the tip regarding the metal bottle. However, I don’t plan on getting one as I do not want to discard the nalgene, thus causing the earth undue stress. I will just continue being poisoned by the toxins from the plastic and feel as if I am making a noble sacrifice to spare the environment.
white people love to hang their screw-top water bottles onto their overpriced bike messenger bags!
Have you thought about doing a post about these comments to your posts? Yeah, there are a few in here that may be some of the whitest things I ever read, everything from self-serving comments about how these are “sooooo me” to Microsoft to Family Guy.
Hiya Kids,
Impressive posts to # 76 Bottled Water. I just read the new ones since yesterday. I want you all to come over for coffee someday!
My Spaniels are sleeping after a long walk.
I am listening to Pandora Radio on a Kenny Loggins station that they invented for me. (For less perky moods, I have the James Taylor station although it is very Paul Simon rich lately and I will have to go in an “not like” something soon.)
Downstairs in the kitchen are bottles of Gerolsteiner and San Pellegrino. German water in plastik; Italian in pretty green glass. After one drinks the water, the State of Maine gives you a nickel back. But we all take our bottles to the high school and give them to the Seniors who were going to NYC for their class trip but are now, I heard, going camping instead.
They are white except I am not sure if the Passamaquoddy youngsters amongst them like that label or not.
As always,
Digby
PS. I am pretty sure that white people keep dog treats for the dogs of friends who stop by.
have you made a post about interracial relationships yet? white people love that. it proves to them they are ‘over racism’
Heat the oven to 450 and bake for 1 hour. Let them cool and enjoy!
I think that white people are crazy. I really don’t understand how it could be so hard to put the cup under the tap. If it was really hard then why can my little sister do it and she is completely white. I understand why white people like bottle water. It has a better taste than tap water. Not only white people like to drink out of water bottles. My African American friend loves to drink out of water bottles. Hell I am African American and I love to drink out of water bottles.
They love going to therapy or counselling.
i love this site’s humorous poke at stereotypes. so… wait… does this mean i am white or an “oreo”? i drink bottled water, love ethnic cuisine (but i don’t need an escort) and rock the apple products. i am also a vegetarian, love my baby (er- i mean dog, but i don’t kiss him) and do my part to conserve the environment by walking or using mass transit. maybe i should go on oprah or tyra about identity issues. lol!
so true
they just want to be all cool with their bottlees and thx for the help with the plastic comeback
white people don’t like to drink pool water and that is what you get when you turn on the tap.
This blog is very US-centric. I am a white guy living in Hong Kong, and it seems white people have no problem drinking tap water here, but”yellow” people are addicted to their bottles of water.
I wouldn’t drink it here in California. I would in my hometown in Iowa (tastes good there).
I don’t do bottled water tho. I get it from the spigot from the fridge. Nice and cold. Not sure if it’s filtered tho. Oh well I suppose the cigarettes are gonna kill me before the water.
I have to admit, some of this “stuff white people like” rings true, however, I find this blog more offessive than tongue-in-cheek. I just listened to your NPR interview (yes, I too am guilty of enjoying public radio) and I was shocked to hear some of the comments you made. Why would you consider any of these things to be “a mark against” you?? Are you so ashamed of being white? Why treat your heritage as a shortcoming? It’s completely idiotic!
http://www.white-history.com/
Read and learn, brothers and sisters, what has been robbed from you.
askmewhyiwearamask:
Any valid argument you may have had was nulled when you called Tammy “an uppity black person”.
I’m guessing that mask you wear is white and has a little point on top, yes?
everythingimnot:
No one cares about your dumbass site! Get over it!
#411 NPR is Jewish, not White.
I ran out and bought one right away! Actually I bought two. No sense in my hubby increasing the world’s carbon footprint if I’m not! I of course got him a very manly one, something about “heavy metal” on it or what-not!
Thanks! Your blog is hilarious!!
Did’nt anyone think about the metals that might leach out into the water? There is always someone coming up with new ideas to market to the must have people. How about the concept of the must haves becoming the must Go Green.
this was funnier when penn and teller did it on bullshit!
you failed to mention the white enviro-concious nuts who boycott sigg bottles because of the aluminum content, but touche.
Ha ha ha.
I drink tap water out of a glass glass with ice made from tap water. I’m still alive, ha ha ha!
Oh, by the way, when I’m on the road I take a plastic glass with me, usually an old tumbler of some kind.
Houston water isn’t the best but at least it’s potable. Try drinking water out of a tap in Mexico or Taiwan. People here are so spoiled, hahahaha!
Funny to read your blog, sad to see that you gave it the incorrect title…. Maybe it is just your objective.
Hint: jump in a plane and check out on the other side of the ocean…
I use these SIGG water bottles, but I’m Asian (given to me as a gift from a fellow Asian). But, dude…I live in SoCal…we grew up with the notion that tap water in LA is no good. (Although a recent study has awarded LA with the cleanest, best tasting water…go figure.)
Zephyrhills tastes terrible! All you people who just moved to Florida know what I’m talking about
I will never give up my nalgene! White rules be damned!
one thing that occurs to me is that only liberals and artsy white people like this shit. being a liberal myself, i admit that i like almost everything you’re mentioned.
however, the important fact to keep in mind is: rednecks and republicans definitely don’t like most of these things. they like nascar, craw daddy’s, sweet tea etc.
I think the metal hiking water bottles are another Euro-snobbish thing. I went hiking with some Germans once, and every one of them had an old dented metal water bottle (just like the ones that have just started popping up at REI), and they used this lemon powder additive, I have to assume it was electrolytes or something.
Hey, is there a blog about how much white people (implicit assumption of this whole blog being that “white people” means yuppie NPR-listening white people) like hiking gear in general? How many $300 skiing jackets, Gore-tex hiking boots, and quilted down vests are ever ever ever brought anywhere near dirt or anything else natural?
Oh – and while I get the humor…
I think being suspicious of tap water is just fine. I bought a Pur pitcher at work when the faucets ran light orange for days at a time, and the newspapers were filled with stories about the dangerous lead levels that just… hadn’t… been noticed. (Aren’t WT plants supposed to notice that stuff??) Anyway, I decided that trusting the govt to filter our water right is about as sensible as expecting the govt to save you from a hurricane. And yes, I work for the govt 🙂
Oh, and my parent’s friend has the most gorgeous black-and-white geometric photos all over his house. They’re all different micro-organisms found in tap water all around the world. Beautiful, breathtaking shapes. But not something i want inside me!
that bottle u have a picture of… its not metal… its a piece of shit… i used to sell those at my old job… there is better out there if your paro about it
All I have to say is:
“Afterall, it’s not what you drink, it’s what you drink it in.”
http://www.mysigg.com/
Anybody want to buy some bottled water from Mexico? Yes Mexico! Bottled at the source full of minerals and deposits. Helps you loose weight! FAST ACTING!!
Great low price! Helps the Mexican people so you don’t have to feel guilty about the “virtual wall” thing!! Call NOW!!
Damn it. I didn’t even KNOW about the metal water bottles, and now, after reading this post, and foolishly clicking on the link to see the metal bottles, I realize I MUST have one to put my filtered drinking water in. Jeeesh. Before reading your post I was a content white person. Now I am feeling the angst of not having a metal water bottle.
askmewhyiwearamask:
I don’t find the entries on your site offensive as much as dull. You lack a satirical tone (because you don’t know what satire is). What I do find offensive is the premise of your site. You have firstly assumed that stuffwhitepeoplelike was written by a black person and defended that position with what you believed were obvious reasons. That assumption and the tirade of “reasons” you gave on your site was offensive.
And then when I posted on your site that you should feel embarrassed to learn that the author of this site is a white woman (follow Jess’s links from this site to her Flickr pics), you removed my comment and continue to defend the validity of your site. Your site is unlike this site which is valuable not only for its satire and wit, but more so for the discourse that it facilitates. You remove all comments on your site that do not support your point of view. Now you have changed your profile from 28 year old white woman CJ to 55 year old black man Uncle Ruckus (god you love blaming the black man don’t you).
You wear a mask because you are a coward. You are angry, but not brave enough to accept criticism. It’s unlikely that you’ll change in this lifetime. Thanks for playing.
White people like to spend an hour thinking up witty e-retorts, running them through a thesaurus, posting them, and being smug.
Besides NPR, this was linked at Dave Barry.
My Mom makes vases out of all the expensive water bottles that she purchases, just to show what kind of bottled water we consume. She’s uber-white.
Also – nice link. None of those metal bottle drinkers are even remotely ethnic.
OK, listen up, you nice people. I have a bit of hard-earned wisdom to share with you, maybe the only one I’ve got that’s worth anything. It applies to pale people as well as to brown people, and to their blue, yellow and green friends. More generally, it applies to all forms of life whose daily water consumption is more than a dewdrop.
The most fearsome contaminants in the water are non-toxic, colorless, odorless, and (mostly) tasteless. They freely pass through all tap water filters, whose primary purpose is to remove life and large organic molecules (the stuff that smells and may be immediately pathogenic in large amounts).
I am talking about inorganic compounds that form insoluble crystals in your body, of which the worst offenders (and the most abundant species) are calcium and and silicone compounds. These are also the same things that make spring water taste good to some people. They remain in water after boiling (which is a lo-tech, but well known sanitation method). There are only two methods for their removal: reverse osmosis and steam distillation. None of these methods are likely to be affordable means of cleaning tap water at home, even for the kind of white people this blog is about.
To keep it short, I will name just two reasons why you don’t want any of these two components in your drinking water. This is what will make you crippled by middle age, not the stuff that smells.
Calcium forms many insoluble salts, of which the most prominent ones are citrate and oxalate. They take the form of kidney stones, pancreatic stones, or gall stones (or all those at once), and they have to be surgically removed in about 7% of the American population. Also, as a rule, if you had your stones removed once, you are more than likely to need the same service again soon. That is because the uninhibited stone formation is a condition to which some animals are genetically predisposed, be it white people, black people or dormice.
Now, pay attention to this: if you have faulty genes and can’t control your stone growth, you will fare better or worse depending on the rate at which you supply the components necessary for their formation. If you drink soft water, you may not be developing them quickly enough to worry about it in your lifetime. On the other hand, if you are misfortunate enough to have this condition and indulge in vegetarianism, you must be growing stones at an alarming rate, even if you happen to have soft water where you live. And, in the worst case, if you are a vegetarian with a missing or faulty uromodulin precursor, and you believe in the “natural spring water”, or are simply content with the municipal tap water, which is extremely hard in most places on this planet, you are growing those stones extra quickly. And if you are already in your forties, you probably have a painful arthritis as well.
It is little known that many such ill effects can be slowly reverted by consistent drinking of distilled water. And I mean slowly: if you have a bad case of arthritis with a pronounced mineral component, you can hope to dilute it to a comfortable level in 10-15 years, and maybe forget you had it in 30 years, but it that not soon enough for most people to do anything. However, consider that that’s about the same rate at which the disease develops.
But if you do undertake the distilled water treatment (or if you simply like it — and it’s easy to like it), don’t let anyone, especially people with medical degrees, convince you that it will hurt you. They like to talk about how it will weaken your bones and deprive you of the vital elements. It will not. You will get all that with meat and other normal foods, in the form that is more acceptable and less dangerous than super-saturated free ions in water, only looking for a spot to attach to and start forming crystals. None of that talk about the weakening of the bones is supported by facts. The only thing to watch for if you live on soft water is the lack of fluorine (nordic peoples are
known for having problems with their teeth caused by the absence of fluorine in drinking water). Civilized people can compensate it with a choice of toothpaste, and they can go to WalMart once in a while, to pick up a jug of fluorinated baby water (which has some other things added to it, but is very close to distilled). Speaking of which, Walmart and Kmart are the cheapest and most reliable sources of distilled water in America. They sold it at about 60c a gallon the last time I checked. In Illinois, they sold the same water from the same source, treated in the same way and showing the same analysis, typically under 3-4 different names in the same store. That must have been some marketing stunt, but before I knew that, I was chasing the “vapor distilled” title, while the “purified” or just plain “drinking water” titles were just as good. But not all of them are good; one-half or more of the titles they sell is just tap water. Take a jug of each kind they sell from the shelf and do your own testing (more on that below).
The other health hazard that I promised to mention way up there is silicone, and like calcium, it accumulates slowly, and it can be washed away with distilled water very slowly as well. But its ill effects are rather more complicated and widespread than those of calcium. Silicone readily binds with nearly all organic compounds, including proteins. Including antibodies. It interferes with so many things that at high enough concentration, a catastrophic effect of some sort is triggered, often involving an immune response to a benign by origin, but siliconized protein, recognized as something it is not because its surface is surface is deformed. This is a very common cause of arthritis, asthma, allergies and a host of other auto-immune diseases, and in particular, it compounds the problem of kidney stones and other similar stones. High levels of silicone in water are not as common as calcium, but when it is present, it is usually so high you can see it with a naked eye. The typical source of high silicone is deep artesian wells. People drinking from such wells exhibit unusually high incidence of auto-immune and endocrine diseases, most of which are fortunately reversible. People begin feeling improvements within years after moving away from such water sources.
Now, I have mentioned that you can test the water you consume. It’s a very crude test, but it is sufficient for most purposes, and it will give you a more intuitive sense of what your water is like than the numbers in the analyses published by some municipalities. All you need is a source of heat and a stainless steel tablespoon. Just make sure it’s stainless, because other alloys — aluminum, silver, or copper-based — may case artifacts.
Pour enough water into your spoon to make it half-full and hold it over a slow gas fire or on a hot plate. With gas, the whole experiment will take 1 – 1.5 minutes; maybe a little longer with electric hot plate or a spiral. Your goal is to completely vaporize your water, avoiding intense sputtering — for you want your water to vaporize in the spoon, not all over your kitchen. When your spoon is completely dry, let it cool in the air and examine the residue.
If you had distilled water in your spoon, the residue will be all but invisible. You are very unlikely to discern it among the scratches on the surface of the metal.
Same for the water purified by reverse osmosis.
Same for industrially de-ionized (DI water). Note that there is a distinction between the industrial passive de-ionization and the ion exchange process used in the home water softeners. If the latter is your water source, the spoon test will show a lot of residue, mostly consisting of sodium, with some of the calcium not trapped by the resin. Such water, although you can drink it in emergency and it will not hurt you, is not suitable for continued consumption.
The spoon test will indicate the water is drinkable if all you see is a pea-sized or smaller white spot in the middle, left by the last drop of water after it puffed away, and that spot should not be very dense.
A clear indication of bad water is a wider and very pronounced spot, especially if shows several concentric contours, indicating that the residue started precipitating in the early stages of evaporation. Such water is hyper-saturated with cations and cannot be safe in the long run.
With experience, you will be able to tell how contaminated the water is by the manner in which it boils. If the water in your spoon starts seething with tiny bubbles as soon as it reaches the boiling temperature, and forms a concave meniscus with the metal, then boiling smoothly until the very end, you can end the experiment right away. Stay away from that water.
Distilled or very pure water will be more likely to form a convex meniscus, and it will boil in sporadic bursts, appearing clear and calm in between. The last drop is likely to turn into a well-formed dancing sphere that finally disappears in a tiny explosion. Such water is good to be taken in.
Here’s the test for silicon (applicable where it occurs at hyper-saturating concentrations). Pour some cold tap water in a clear glass. Let it rest for between 1 and 3 days. Examine it in the strong light several times during that period — use sunlight or bright electric light. Shine the light through the glass at such an angle that some of it is reflected back toward you. You will see myriads of tiny needles floating around. That will be crystals of silica. It is hard to predict when the crystals will be most visible. It will take a while for them to grow to a visible size, and they will begin to precipitate shortly after that. But if you see them at all, that water is dangerous. It can be dangerous even at much lower concentrations of silicon, but if you see any crystals in the otherwise clear water, you have to conclude that it is extremely contaminated.
Another indication of high silicon is the bluish-green hue. If you can clearly see the blues or the greens in your white bathtub full of water, you are more than likely to have high silicon, or high calcium and silicon. Recall the blue pools of water you see on the pictures of the Yellowstone geysers. That’s the stuff.
Anyway, that was a long way of saying that the tap water filters do nothing to remove that stuff, while it arguably far more dangerous than most other things people like to notice in water.
Finally, because there were a few posts in this blog mentioning distilled water in connection with taste, I’d like to throw in another suggestion for a water test. It has to do with taste, but it as a fairly accurate chemical test.
Make yourself two cups of tea. For one of them, use your tap water. Or the “natural spring water”, if you prefer, as there will be no difference. For another, use distilled water, if you can get some. First compare how the two liquids look. The tap-water tea will look dark and dirty. The distilled-water tea will be bright, translucent and richly colored. After it cools down and rests for a while, you will see ugly crud or iridescent film on the surface of the tap-water tea. You may have accustomed to taking that for granted, because that’s the stuff we are served in restaurants. But then observe that the surface of the distilled-water tea will be clear. I guarantee you that after you have tasted the latter, you will resent the former.
Have fun.
Ha ha!!! LOL!!!!! Go Whites go!!! We even take care of our black athletes who wouldn’t have this sense:
US to take own food to Olympics
By James Reynolds
BBC News, Beijing
“China has expressed regret that the US has decided not to trust its food during this summer’s Olympic Games.
The US delegation has said it is planning to bring its own food for American athletes.”
@ Dan #344 Was that me you saw? hahaha. I’m a black girl with a metal water bottle, but it has tap water in it. I carry it around because I bike to class (gasp!) and the water from the fountains taste like liquid metal.
i am a white man, and i drink from the faucet. i am exceptionally cheap, however, and neither of my 2 house-mates(also white males) will drink from the faucet.
i grew up drinking well water, so the idea of paying even for tap water is a disturbing one to me.
Just wanted to add that NPR actually is selling a green metal water bottle with their logo on their website. Btw, yes, I did hear you on TOTN the other day. That would also be how I know about the npr bottle. I am so lame.
even water is trendy! TRENDY? it just makes me laugh at the thought that a person buys figi just so thay can prance around carrying a figi bottle! silliness!
there is a clean water shortage around the world, and people want to be fashionable carrying around “designer” water!
i love white people!
Lush
Evian….spelled backwards…is…
There’s bottles of water from remote springs that costs more than Dom Perignon. Worse, there are watersseurs who can tell the difference between one spring in France or another one in Germany. Scary.
asians hate using the dishwashers because they want to keep their bills down
http://asians.thinkunique.net
Fuck white people so hard.
fuck you mud!
Dude, drinking bottled water is not a “White” thing… it is PURELY American thing! It is in fact the way to recognize an American tourist abroad – only they carry a water bottle with them.
I tend to believe that the evolution changed Americans’ kidneys – all the other nations can survive easily a day without drinking water as the kidneys were dedigned to to save water… but ONLY non-American kidneys!
Some a**hole marketer managed to perpetrate a myth that you MUST drink daily minimum 6 glasses of water and that drives the market for bottled water.
Evian spelled backwards is Naive. 🙂
I am from the generation the grew up drinking from the garden house when playing out side, and sometimes still do. Then again were from the side of town that has good drinking water.
Some other disturbing trends I have observed from the white species-
-white people wash their dishes without running water (i.e with soapy suds which they wipe with a towel).
-white people often brush their teeth AFTER breakfast!
this is all rather shocking and disturbing but this is their culture and one must be open-minded.
The sarcasm of the comment about American tourists carrying bottled water seems to be rather ill-informed. Consider this:
* On any given spot on the planet, you will find many more American tourists than any other kind of tourist. They are very “outgoing” kind of people.
* They routinely go to the kinds of places you can’t imagine being in.
* Most of them research the sites they are about to visit.
* Nonetheless, a stream of coffins flown home from abroad is never too small, be it wartime or not. This does not only cause them grief; I think you can’t help learning from this. Which is what I recommend to those looking with sarcasm on a foreigner traveling with a box of bottled water: watch and learn.
You are so damn funny! Ya killin me. Would love to hear your coverage of the foodie culture, like shopping in organic markets while politically-correct shoppers run you over with their carts! Passive-aggressive bullshit in non-profits. Where to begin? There’s so much. I’m white, and have all kinds of issues with water and coffee….
TIE – http://www.kleankanteen.com/ unfiltered from the tap
So smarty pants ever tried to drink well water???
Yes, and not only well water — assuming “smarty pants” is a reference to myself; if not, I’m responding on behalf of the wider “smarty pants” population.
It seems everyone here is fixated on the individual acts of drinking, and on the origin of the water, or on the containers it is delivered in. All that is undoubtedly interesting, and it’s probably fun, too, and it’s easy to discern cult aspects in all the discussions arising from it.
None of that really matters if you are concerned with the regular, constant consumption and the effects it might have on you. The individual acts of folly do not matter. They may kill you at once, but if you survive, they don’t matter. Occasionally, I drank rain water from a drain spout, ate snow from the street, drank from all streams and and puddles that appeared to be clean, licked dew form leaves when no other source was within reach, and worse.
I can tell you something: none of that crazy business, including 2 months of acute diarrhea I got after drinking from a really foul river (rest assured, as a sole means for survival), hurt me as bad as did 15 years of peaceful life in a town where the only source of water was a 120-meter-deep artesian well. 30 years later, I am still undoing the damage with the help of distilled water (successfully, though). And one more thing: many of my old town folk who did not believe in the threat of the waterborne rocks are no longer alive.
Will I drink that well water again, if I have to? As an individual act — yes, no problem.
Will I be drinking it? No. I’m too old for that.
If you ever try Orlando water you will see why bottle water is a great idea.
But when i first came to the states, i was surprised at how easily americans aka white ppl drank tap water. you see that all the time, on tv or at school or wherever. in some countries, it’s a norm not to drink tap water cuz it has so much chemicals in it. in east asia, they drink boiled water all the time.
after being skeptical about it for a long time, i’ve only just started drinking tap cuz, yes, the city (nyc)’s been advertising that it’s okay, if not better than bottled, to drink.
anyways, i’m all for using refillable bottles.
Jacksonville Florida water smells and tastes like shit. When I go to Virginia or Arkansas, I am happy to drink out of the tap but not here.
lmao…this blog is pretty funny.
I just bought a nalgene bottle
I guess that makes me white
::Checks skin color::
Seems to fit
Your comment about the Nalgene bottles reminds me of something that white people love, which is paranoia about getting cancer.
# 199: Also misspelling Gandhi as “Ghandi”!
# 199: misspelling Gandhi as “Ghandi”
Sadly, I have been unable to connect with a stainless steel bottle manufacturer i feel really good about.
it makes me happy to know people are at least drinking water and not 2 liters of cola. we refill the plastic bottles, and toss them out when they start to look like you wouldn’t want to drink from them. you know, starts to turn a little yellow around the opening like a festering canker sore.
Also, usually in the same fridge at gas/convenient stores, you can buy a gallon of water for under a buck. They come in gallon milk jugs.
it is goofy people are making money off of water and it aint the utilities.
Yep. I’ve been seeing those metal bottled waters popping up more and more.
Wow, this is so totally true. I did the Nalgene thing for a long time and now I’ve been thinking I should get one of the metal bottles! But it’s more because I like to have water with me wherever I go, at my desk or in the car or whatever, and I don’t trust the quality of water in some places. It really does taste different from the tap than from a Brita filter.
I had no idea Nalgene was causing cancer! I will buy a metal bottle post-haste. God bless you, stuffwhitepeoplelike!!!
Yeah, I’m white and am not offended one bit! White people love heckling other white people who don’t respect the environment by junking it up with plastic water bottles. White people also love kissing their dogs on the mouth (as a white girl, I will admit this). Those canines are our children!
Don’t make me laugh so hard — my lips will crack. Nalgene’s products causing cancer? After 50 years of use in containers for analytical-grade reaganets, not causing anything to those reagents? Three generations (read: millions) of lab chemists must have been asleep at their benches to let that pass by unnoticed.
I wonder what will be the next thing found to be causing cancer, after the attack on Nalgene subsides. Starlight? No, that’s not too likely. It may be a stronger factor than the “possible” leaching of BPA, but there is no one to be held accountable for it, and no profit to be made from banning starlight. Or maybe I’m wrong.
There are people out there whose profession and relentless duty is to scare you senseless. With their numbers expanding, and with their unsurpassed zeal, they will soon rival the clan of the sleepy chemists. For every chemist coming up with something new (and how often has that been happening lately?), there will be one or two of these guys just waiting to undo that. It is going to be fun to watch.
If you find this blog funny, you will enjoy reading this book by Steve Milloy (http://www.junkscience.com/sws.html)
Oh crap. I pour my Brita-filled water right into a SIGG bottle. You got me. I’m white.
On a related note, another thing that white people like is to complain about the $3 per gallon cost of gasoline which has to be prospected, drilled, pumped, transported, refined, transported again, stored in a specialized container, transported again, and finally pumped into one’s car, while having no problem whatsoever running inside the gas station and forking over the equivalent of $8 per gallon for a bottle of water, the equivalent of which could have been obtained from one’s tap for pennies.
The white people in Britain are paying more than $8 per galon of gasoline (close to $9 for diesel), and no one complains. Maybe they do, quietly, but they haven’t given up driving. This seems to be what your future is like, folks.
Of course, their bottled tap water is even more expensive, while the distilled water is nowhere to be found. Strange…
Hold on… I’m looking into my council tax bill…
Their non-bottled tap water isn’t cheap either. It costs GBP 178 a year (approx. $360) where I am now, and it’s not metered. That’s one dollar a day (a little less than they charge for sewerage, separately). I can’t recall how much I spent on water where I lived before; I think unless I watered my lawn, the price was too insignificant to notice (< $20/mo ?). But it was a very bad water.
oh michelle..i hate to tell you this honey, but i think your ice cubes and fridge water comes from a tap that the water your sink comes from..guess you’ll need to buy more bottled water now…..
white people don’t wanna be dehydrated.
I drink tap water from plastic bottles. Am I too white?
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read! That article seems like it was written solely about me…guess I need to go crack open a cold Aquafina to make myself feel better 🙂
LOL. Sooooo good. This blog is SO good!!!!!!!!
maybe I drink bottled water b/c I live in NYC and have a shitty landlord who construsted my plumbing waaaay below code. Thus when water drys on a sink at my place it turns pink.
I do recycle those bottles though, to up my white quotient.
#475, I think that this article is implying that you’re not WHITE ENOUGH if you drink tap water (unfiltered) from anything other than a fantastic aluminum bottle that’s environmentally friendly.
(tongue in cheek of course)
your site is phenomenal.
however, as a white person who drinks bottled water, i take exception to this post:
most tap water has been found to contain arsenic, lead, MTBE, flouride (if you think flouride is good for you, do the research).
i could give less of a shit about drinking water from some pacific island. i just don’t want icky chemicals in a substance that’s supposed to be the healthiest liquid i can drink.
Let’s not stop at white people loving our water bottles. Do you now how picky we are when it comes to which brand of water we’ll actually drink? For instance, if I see someone walking down the street drinking Avian, I know that they are all about the image cause that stuff is bottled from a tap in some third world county.
It’s all about the image, you say?
The moment you said that, I immediately recalled the images of the people I knew to be chain-drinkers, as it were, and it occurred to me that constantly holding a container with a fulid in one’s hand, or sucking on a bottle is …
A pacifying behavior!!!
Those people whom I recall walking, talking, driving, or sitting in front of the telly with a water bottle, a soda can, a coffee mug or even a paper cup with some fluid in it were the mellowest of my friends. I just met one in the office corridor today. I took a note how he kept trying to drink out of an empty cup as we were chatting. He was apparently reluctant to break the conversation by going for a refill.
I also recall an image of a person whose right hand looks like gripping a soda can even when there is nothing in it — for example, as he articulates his speech during a talk. And when he pauses, his hand just stays there, half-extended and with fingres wrapped around a void. That is not to say he doesn’t go to give public talks with the actual soda can in his hand — he often does — but on those rare occasions when the can is missing for some reason, the gesture remains the same. And he is one of those very placid guys, too, so maybe there is a connection between a man’s character and compulsive drinking.
Have not noticed the same with women, though. Maybe the same is true, but I just can’t recall an “image”.
It may also be the case that in the United States, where nearly everyone quit smoking, some form of compulsive behavior must have filled the void. But the fact it may be a pacifying behavior as well should be known to the military commanders, who should ban the use of suckable fluid containers by the troops during active war operations (including plastic water bottles, metal flasks, etc.), for the same reason why relationships with women are banned in many armies. These guys must be kept in shape: irritated and aggressive.
You can’t fight with you left hand, holding a soda can in your right. Right?
I carry a Sigg bottle filled with brita water! HOLLA! Oh yes and I am super white.
Did you know those metal bottles with the twisty caps, like the Sigg, are actually fuel containers? Used mainly for small camping stoves.
No shit.
It’s like squirting drinking water out of an unused dish soap container…
White people like food too, those imbeciles.
well everyone should drink bottled water because tap water has little, no or wrong minerals in it. mmmm fluoride. doesn’t it cause cancer? how come all of europe drinks mineral water and is healthier? we probably know better, tap must be good for our health.
oh and racism sucks.
there are some cultural generalizations that can be made but never that all of whatever group does xyz due to genetic similarities. that’s ignorant. it is however true that groups -usually families from the same countries, and on broader level ethnic groups, share customs and habits that are based on traditions of religion, region, country, and/or ethnic group not based on the color of one’s skin.
ignorance sucks too
i’m a whitey who likes fried chicken and watermelon and i use proper english and slan whenever i want to. i speak a zillion languages and have traveled all over. that’s coming from my graduate degree havin’ ass.
this site is really just a list of things that most black people DONT LIKE.
not the other way around.
F minus.
http://www.garbarrassing.com
now there is a site that everyone would like…
I am drinking from a Sigg bottle right now.
Am I a loser or what?
Not only am I white, I carry the gold standard of waterbottles: the Nalgene. Not just one, though, since that’d just be white. I am superwhite as I carry two Nalgenes containing differing levels of tap water at any given time. Does the tap water undermine the whiteness of the waterbottle? I don’t think so, since my Nalgenes are also covered in signature white stickers, flaunting my exotic trip destinations, music tastes, and pop culture savvy.
But I cannot compete with a classmate who hides her supreme whiteness under the illusion of Nalgene bottles. I have witnessed her pouring Dasani, Fiji, Artesian water into her Nalgene and then recycling the namebrand water bottles. Tap water is just not good enough. Not even if it’s filtered.
I come from Maine, home of ‘poland spring.’ The especially beloved brand of bottled water that is frequently preferred by places like art museums for their panels and other snooty-ish places. The sad thing is that Poland Spring, the company, is a pretty bad one. They have drained the original poland spring, and they are engaged in a nasty battle with Mainers for the rights to water. They are trying as hard as they can to get these rights and take it away from Maine, especially in the unorganized areas of the state which don’t have as many laws.
I am not that educated about it, but the little I know is enough to make me feel damn annoyed when I see all those little bottles of Poland Spring water and the people who like to think they are drinking from a ‘wholesome’ company’. And the way that Maine has become so branded as a clean place or whatever.
Maine IS wonderful, but it is also: xenophobic, the whitest in the country, the oldest median age, the most second homes in the US, and has tremendous amount of pollution mostly that comes from the jet stream from the midwest, high opiate/rx drug addiction, the highest adult asthma rate, and a lot of poverty. So it’s not the most lovely pristine place that Maine gets portrayed as…
It’s also sad that we ingest so much guilt-we feel our choices are limited–i.e. “don’t eat tofu, it causes cancer, don’t eat bread, it makes you fat”..etc, all these things designed to make us constantly second guess ourselves, and to obsess about instead of connecting the dots and working for more important things. And now I’m a culprit by telling you to boycott Poland Spring too!
But yes, we SHOULD be adopting standards that limit our consumption– for the environment and the survival of various species. But these choices should be less made on an individual scale, and more by the society as a whole. We should be less worried about our own personal choices and more directly work to end the prison industry, the anti-immigrant bullshit, the polluters as a whole and ipods and the whole f-ing shebang that is harming all of us.
Another thing that annoys me: whole foods, trader joes. not just for their tactics of closing down small businesses, but for the fact that consumers are so idiotic that they will buy most of the same crap that they sell at the regular market for twice the price if whole foods puts a label on it and sells it.
just some thoughts. P.S. as bad as computers are for the planet, it’s interesting/enlightening the dialogues and discussions that can now be had on comment boards.
white people also like to make sure they serve their dogs filtered water as well.
fuck all you little porch monkeys and your white people and shit fuck all you we are the ones that brought you over here bitches
#491 “But yes, we SHOULD be adopting standards that limit our consumption– for the environment and the survival of various species. But these choices should be less made on an individual scale, and more by the society as a whole.”
Fuck off buddy. The United States will never be a communist totalitarian nation. Your ideas will NEVER fly. Get used to it a-hole. Did it ever occur to you that you might be wrong, and that nobody else agrees with you?
Liberty is what America stands for not douche-bag-oversight.
You neglected to mention the coolest bottles of all–Camelbak.
http://www.camelbak.com/index.cfm
They are sexy, and are components of high-tech “hydration systems,” soyou can pretend you are *really* outdoorsy, e.g., you bike 40 miles a day or backpack for two weeks at a time.
AP probe finds drugs in drinking water
By JEFF DONN, MARTHA MENDOZA and JUSTIN PRITCHARD, Associated Press WritersSun Mar 9, 5:03 PM ET
A vast array of pharmaceuticals — including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones — have been found in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans, an Associated Press investigation shows.
To be sure, the concentrations of these pharmaceuticals are tiny, measured in quantities of parts per billion or trillion, far below the levels of a medical dose. Also, utilities insist their water is safe.
But the presence of so many prescription drugs — and over-the-counter medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen — in so much of our drinking water is heightening worries among scientists of long-term consequences to human health.
In the course of a five-month inquiry, the AP discovered that drugs have been detected in the drinking water supplies of 24 major metropolitan areas — from Southern California to Northern New Jersey, from Detroit to Louisville, Ky.
Water providers rarely disclose results of pharmaceutical screenings, unless pressed, the AP found. For example, the head of a group representing major California suppliers said the public “doesn’t know how to interpret the information” and might be unduly alarmed.
How do the drugs get into the water?
People take pills. Their bodies absorb some of the medication, but the rest of it passes through and is flushed down the toilet. The wastewater is treated before it is discharged into reservoirs, rivers or lakes. Then, some of the water is cleansed again at drinking water treatment plants and piped to consumers. But most treatments do not remove all drug residue.
And while researchers do not yet understand the exact risks from decades of persistent exposure to random combinations of low levels of pharmaceuticals, recent studies — which have gone virtually unnoticed by the general public — have found alarming effects on human cells and wildlife.
“We recognize it is a growing concern and we’re taking it very seriously,” said Benjamin H. Grumbles, assistant administrator for water at the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency.
Members of the AP National Investigative Team reviewed hundreds of scientific reports, analyzed federal drinking water databases, visited environmental study sites and treatment plants and interviewed more than 230 officials, academics and scientists. They also surveyed the nation’s 50 largest cities and a dozen other major water providers, as well as smaller community water providers in all 50 states.
Here are some of the key test results obtained by the AP:
_Officials in Philadelphia said testing there discovered 56 pharmaceuticals or byproducts in treated drinking water, including medicines for pain, infection, high cholesterol, asthma, epilepsy, mental illness and heart problems. Sixty-three pharmaceuticals or byproducts were found in the city’s watersheds.
_Anti-epileptic and anti-anxiety medications were detected in a portion of the treated drinking water for 18.5 million people in Southern California.
_Researchers at the U.S. Geological Survey analyzed a Passaic Valley Water Commission drinking water treatment plant, which serves 850,000 people in Northern New Jersey, and found a metabolized angina medicine and the mood-stabilizing carbamazepine in drinking water.
_A sex hormone was detected in San Francisco’s drinking water.
_The drinking water for Washington, D.C., and surrounding areas tested positive for six pharmaceuticals.
_Three medications, including an antibiotic, were found in drinking water supplied to Tucson, Ariz.
The situation is undoubtedly worse than suggested by the positive test results in the major population centers documented by the AP.
The federal government doesn’t require any testing and hasn’t set safety limits for drugs in water. Of the 62 major water providers contacted, the drinking water for only 28 was tested. Among the 34 that haven’t: Houston, Chicago, Miami, Baltimore, Phoenix, Boston and New York City’s Department of Environmental Protection, which delivers water to 9 million people.
Some providers screen only for one or two pharmaceuticals, leaving open the possibility that others are present.
The AP’s investigation also indicates that watersheds, the natural sources of most of the nation’s water supply, also are contaminated. Tests were conducted in the watersheds of 35 of the 62 major providers surveyed by the AP, and pharmaceuticals were detected in 28.
Yet officials in six of those 28 metropolitan areas said they did not go on to test their drinking water — Fairfax, Va.; Montgomery County in Maryland; Omaha, Neb.; Oklahoma City; Santa Clara, Calif., and New York City.
The New York state health department and the USGS tested the source of the city’s water, upstate. They found trace concentrations of heart medicine, infection fighters, estrogen, anti-convulsants, a mood stabilizer and a tranquilizer.
City water officials declined repeated requests for an interview. In a statement, they insisted that “New York City’s drinking water continues to meet all federal and state regulations regarding drinking water quality in the watershed and the distribution system” — regulations that do not address trace pharmaceuticals.
In several cases, officials at municipal or regional water providers told the AP that pharmaceuticals had not been detected, but the AP obtained the results of tests conducted by independent researchers that showed otherwise. For example, water department officials in New Orleans said their water had not been tested for pharmaceuticals, but a Tulane University researcher and his students have published a study that found the pain reliever naproxen, the sex hormone estrone and the anti-cholesterol drug byproduct clofibric acid in treated drinking water.
Of the 28 major metropolitan areas where tests were performed on drinking water supplies, only Albuquerque; Austin, Texas; and Virginia Beach, Va.; said tests were negative. The drinking water in Dallas has been tested, but officials are awaiting results. Arlington, Texas, acknowledged that traces of a pharmaceutical were detected in its drinking water but cited post-9/11 security concerns in refusing to identify the drug.
The AP also contacted 52 small water providers — one in each state, and two each in Missouri and Texas — that serve communities with populations around 25,000. All but one said their drinking water had not been screened for pharmaceuticals; officials in Emporia, Kan., refused to answer AP’s questions, also citing post-9/11 issues.
Rural consumers who draw water from their own wells aren’t in the clear either, experts say.
The Stroud Water Research Center, in Avondale, Pa., has measured water samples from New York City’s upstate watershed for caffeine, a common contaminant that scientists often look for as a possible signal for the presence of other pharmaceuticals. Though more caffeine was detected at suburban sites, researcher Anthony Aufdenkampe was struck by the relatively high levels even in less populated areas.
He suspects it escapes from failed septic tanks, maybe with other drugs. “Septic systems are essentially small treatment plants that are essentially unmanaged and therefore tend to fail,” Aufdenkampe said.
Even users of bottled water and home filtration systems don’t necessarily avoid exposure. Bottlers, some of which simply repackage tap water, do not typically treat or test for pharmaceuticals, according to the industry’s main trade group. The same goes for the makers of home filtration systems.
Contamination is not confined to the United States. More than 100 different pharmaceuticals have been detected in lakes, rivers, reservoirs and streams throughout the world. Studies have detected pharmaceuticals in waters throughout Asia, Australia, Canada and Europe — even in Swiss lakes and the North Sea.
For example, in Canada, a study of 20 Ontario drinking water treatment plants by a national research institute found nine different drugs in water samples. Japanese health officials in December called for human health impact studies after detecting prescription drugs in drinking water at seven different sites.
In the United States, the problem isn’t confined to surface waters. Pharmaceuticals also permeate aquifers deep underground, source of 40 percent of the nation’s water supply. Federal scientists who drew water in 24 states from aquifers near contaminant sources such as landfills and animal feed lots found minuscule levels of hormones, antibiotics and other drugs.
Perhaps it’s because Americans have been taking drugs — and flushing them unmetabolized or unused — in growing amounts. Over the past five years, the number of U.S. prescriptions rose 12 percent to a record 3.7 billion, while nonprescription drug purchases held steady around 3.3 billion, according to IMS Health and The Nielsen Co.
“People think that if they take a medication, their body absorbs it and it disappears, but of course that’s not the case,” said EPA scientist Christian Daughton, one of the first to draw attention to the issue of pharmaceuticals in water in the United States.
Some drugs, including widely used cholesterol fighters, tranquilizers and anti-epileptic medications, resist modern drinking water and wastewater treatment processes. Plus, the EPA says there are no sewage treatment systems specifically engineered to remove pharmaceuticals.
One technology, reverse osmosis, removes virtually all pharmaceutical contaminants but is very expensive for large-scale use and leaves several gallons of polluted water for every one that is made drinkable.
Another issue: There’s evidence that adding chlorine, a common process in conventional drinking water treatment plants, makes some pharmaceuticals more toxic.
Human waste isn’t the only source of contamination. Cattle, for example, are given ear implants that provide a slow release of trenbolone, an anabolic steroid used by some bodybuilders, which causes cattle to bulk up. But not all the trenbolone circulating in a steer is metabolized. A German study showed 10 percent of the steroid passed right through the animals.
Water sampled downstream of a Nebraska feedlot had steroid levels four times as high as the water taken upstream. Male fathead minnows living in that downstream area had low testosterone levels and small heads.
Other veterinary drugs also play a role. Pets are now treated for arthritis, cancer, heart disease, diabetes, allergies, dementia, and even obesity — sometimes with the same drugs as humans. The inflation-adjusted value of veterinary drugs rose by 8 percent, to $5.2 billion, over the past five years, according to an analysis of data from the Animal Health Institute.
Ask the pharmaceutical industry whether the contamination of water supplies is a problem, and officials will tell you no. “Based on what we now know, I would say we find there’s little or no risk from pharmaceuticals in the environment to human health,” said microbiologist Thomas White, a consultant for the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America.
But at a conference last summer, Mary Buzby — director of environmental technology for drug maker Merck & Co. Inc. — said: “There’s no doubt about it, pharmaceuticals are being detected in the environment and there is genuine concern that these compounds, in the small concentrations that they’re at, could be causing impacts to human health or to aquatic organisms.”
Recent laboratory research has found that small amounts of medication have affected human embryonic kidney cells, human blood cells and human breast cancer cells. The cancer cells proliferated too quickly; the kidney cells grew too slowly; and the blood cells showed biological activity associated with inflammation.
Also, pharmaceuticals in waterways are damaging wildlife across the nation and around the globe, research shows. Notably, male fish are being feminized, creating egg yolk proteins, a process usually restricted to females. Pharmaceuticals also are affecting sentinel species at the foundation of the pyramid of life — such as earth worms in the wild and zooplankton in the laboratory, studies show.
Some scientists stress that the research is extremely limited, and there are too many unknowns. They say, though, that the documented health problems in wildlife are disconcerting.
“It brings a question to people’s minds that if the fish were affected … might there be a potential problem for humans?” EPA research biologist Vickie Wilson told the AP. “It could be that the fish are just exquisitely sensitive because of their physiology or something. We haven’t gotten far enough along.”
With limited research funds, said Shane Snyder, research and development project manager at the Southern Nevada Water Authority, a greater emphasis should be put on studying the effects of drugs in water.
“I think it’s a shame that so much money is going into monitoring to figure out if these things are out there, and so little is being spent on human health,” said Snyder. “They need to just accept that these things are everywhere — every chemical and pharmaceutical could be there. It’s time for the EPA to step up to the plate and make a statement about the need to study effects, both human and environmental.”
To the degree that the EPA is focused on the issue, it appears to be looking at detection. Grumbles acknowledged that just late last year the agency developed three new methods to “detect and quantify pharmaceuticals” in wastewater. “We realize that we have a limited amount of data on the concentrations,” he said. “We’re going to be able to learn a lot more.”
While Grumbles said the EPA had analyzed 287 pharmaceuticals for possible inclusion on a draft list of candidates for regulation under the Safe Drinking Water Act, he said only one, nitroglycerin, was on the list. Nitroglycerin can be used as a drug for heart problems, but the key reason it’s being considered is its widespread use in making explosives.
So much is unknown. Many independent scientists are skeptical that trace concentrations will ultimately prove to be harmful to humans. Confidence about human safety is based largely on studies that poison lab animals with much higher amounts.
There’s growing concern in the scientific community, meanwhile, that certain drugs — or combinations of drugs — may harm humans over decades because water, unlike most specific foods, is consumed in sizable amounts every day.
Our bodies may shrug off a relatively big one-time dose, yet suffer from a smaller amount delivered continuously over a half century, perhaps subtly stirring allergies or nerve damage. Pregnant women, the elderly and the very ill might be more sensitive.
Many concerns about chronic low-level exposure focus on certain drug classes: chemotherapy that can act as a powerful poison; hormones that can hamper reproduction or development; medicines for depression and epilepsy that can damage the brain or change behavior; antibiotics that can allow human germs to mutate into more dangerous forms; pain relievers and blood-pressure diuretics.
For several decades, federal environmental officials and nonprofit watchdog environmental groups have focused on regulated contaminants — pesticides, lead, PCBs — which are present in higher concentrations and clearly pose a health risk.
However, some experts say medications may pose a unique danger because, unlike most pollutants, they were crafted to act on the human body.
“These are chemicals that are designed to have very specific effects at very low concentrations. That’s what pharmaceuticals do. So when they get out to the environment, it should not be a shock to people that they have effects,” says zoologist John Sumpter at Brunel University in London, who has studied trace hormones, heart medicine and other drugs.
And while drugs are tested to be safe for humans, the timeframe is usually over a matter of months, not a lifetime. Pharmaceuticals also can produce side effects and interact with other drugs at normal medical doses. That’s why — aside from therapeutic doses of fluoride injected into potable water supplies — pharmaceuticals are prescribed to people who need them, not delivered to everyone in their drinking water.
“We know we are being exposed to other people’s drugs through our drinking water, and that can’t be good,” says Dr. David Carpenter, who directs the Institute for Health and the Environment of the State University of New York at Albany.
____
The AP National Investigative Team can be reached at investigate (at) ap.org
Those white people aren’t so silly now are they….
The main thing that pisses me off about the bottled water is that I didn’t think of it first! Iwould gladly sit around all day and fill little palstic bottles full of tap water and say it is from some exotic spring and sell them for a buck a piece!!!! What a bunch of BOZOS
I would drink tap water if the government didn’t put unsafe levels of fluoride in it!!!
Another popular excuse that we use is ‘The water here tastes like crap.’ or ‘I’m just used to the water where I grew up.’
In my case, I drank tap water until I went to Madawaska, ME, to work in the mill there for an 8 mo. co-op. The water there WAS disgusting, with enough particulate to settle out, including hairlike strings and other bits of detritus.
I started drinking the store brand distilled water then, and I did it for years afterwards, using the excuse, ‘ I’m used to it now.’
I’m back to the perfectly potable tap water in suburban MA, now, though.
This is hilarious! I work at Pottery Barn – part-time of course, b/c full-time would mean I actually need the job and thus lower my status as an affluent white woman (lol) – and they have this whole new “green” campaign that includes aluminum water bottles with the screw top. Needless to say, they have been wildly popular among the Bobos (reference to the book “Bobos in Paradise”) here in Eugene, Oregon.
These things are SO true!
I am so WHITE! I was reading this, thinking, “My Nalgene bottle is putting toxins in my body?! I better get one of those metal bottles!”
I am a nerd.
Good luck trying to get an ice cube or a brush into a Sigg bottle 🙂
Besides, like the guy above said, you could scratch the liner and end up drinking aluminum 😦
The jar-like Guyot bottle (if you’ll miss your Nalgene) or the klean kanteens (more traditional bottle) make more sense, since they are food-grade stainless steel and have a useable size opening.
Go forth white people, and drink.
not gonna lie… i like how those metal water bottles look. i am trying so hard not to go buy one from that site right now.
I LOVE THIS!!! STILL AT WORK READING THIS BLOG CANT STOP LAUGHING!
INSANE!!
In my office in Manhattan we spend over $200.00 a month on bottled water!!!! I dont know about anyone here but 200 bucks for water is insane! that could pay for my car lease. with all the environment issues and the hassles it amazing these companies are still in business.
So i did some research, you can get a unit installed in your office and it will do the same thing that these bottle companies do, the machine purifies the water and you have hot and cold water with no bottles!! the name of the company doing it is great! we just signed up with them, the company name is Watermatic their website is
http://www.watermaticcoolers.com
sign up on the site and they’ll put a machine in for free to try, i think we finally have a solution, i just got it last week and so far so good, ill let you know how it goes…
Actually white people no longer like bottled water, they feel the plastic is wasteful and pollutes the environment.
Alex,
That’s why we drink from reusable Sigg bottles with the twisty caps! (See the picture with the article.)
I am so white! But what about white women that date black men? Hmmm?
I love TV but I have never seen the wire, wear whatever t-shirt is clean and I get my info on the evils of multi-national corporations from online news [preferable bbc.com] orgs, but lots of this is pretty funny and to some degree spot on. Well done!
Oh one more thing — I hate Apple!
Look here…
This site is mediocre at best. It is mildly entertaining. Half of the items on this list are garbage. The effort and thought put into this list is pretty embarrassing.
if you want some actual funny entertainment/blog/writing/insightful/great stuff
http://www.garbarrassing.com
go for it.
Ha! I just got a SIGG bottle – in fact, I got lots of them! This is great.
What black people like:
Jewelry for their teeth
Cars worth far more than their homes
Ribs
‘African’ names that aren’t really African
Using polysyllabic words in the incorrect context
Hahaa, so true. The day after I read this post, I saw some white kid in class drinking from that exact brand of bottle. This shit is right on the money.
if white people are going to be discriminated against for something, im glad it’s drinking bottled water…i would hate for it to be that all white people carry guns, or have small penis sizes or anything like that
Are you white or black or red or green? Well, obviously not green, or you wouldn’t of done this, not out of respect, but out of intelligence.
This is insulting.
I hope you enjoy the popularity of your blog among your “blogroll”, good for you, however, if you are an American, you’d be a good person if you’d stop inciting racial inequality.
GROW UP.
White People don’t like this!
This is ridiculous.
Why are you insulting white people?
Do you have an inferiority complex, or do you just NEED the attention as you sit at home reading your blog comments?
Is that all the life you have?
Jerk!
I’d call you something else, but then I’d go to jail.
I can’t believe you can get away with a hate crime like this, it can’t be an AMERICAN IP you come from………
Hey Joe and some of the rest of you, how about we start a blog about what “people of color like”?
Let’s start with multiple fathers to the dozens of children they have.
Taking advantage of government programs.
Gaining an education through WHITE PEOPLE’S TAX DOLLARS?
CAR Jacking innocent women with their children in the back?
Robbing convenience stores?
OWNING CONVENIENCE STORES?
FREE EDUCATION USED TO FURTHER SCAM AMERICANS!!!
WHO’S MY BABY’S DADDY?
WHO’S MY F’ING DADDY?
WHO IS HE CALLING ON THE CELL PHONE I BOUGHT FOR HIM?
IS HE GONNA LEAVE HIS BABY’S MOMMA FOR ME?
GROW THE F UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!
VISIT MY BLOG, I’LL CALL IT THINGS THAT BLACK PEOPLE LIKE! YEAH, right, I’ll go to jail for an f’ing hate crime. They can give it, but they can’t take it!
You city folk want bottled water? You’re so foolish.
Do you really thing there is a difference between tap water and bottled water?
NOT! Not that would make a difference to your body over a 100 year life.
We have an artesian well on our property, if you are so paranoid about your freakin’ tap water I’ll ship you my f’ing water.
Grow up!
You are weakening the human race by not building a tolerance to the existing chemicals. Only the strong survive!
(And we are predominantly Mediteranean, not white, not black, just f’ing STRONG), does this a hole ever reply to his own blogs? Or does he/she just sit there and smirk because they get so many replies.
Well, if this is an American Blog, the owner can expect a class action lawsuit, as this is a hate crime, and the author of this blog would surely pursue it. Punk!
Ha–! The author of this blog is so very ‘cutting-edge’ him/her self! Right on target and so very ‘white’ (or very observant)!
Cam
#520 — You um, do know that that blog exists, right? It’s, like, the 6th most popular blog on WordPress.
Actually #52 bottled “drinking water” is usually filtered tap water. But there is certainly a distinction between drinking water and spring water, taken from natural springs which usually undergoes a filtration process itself. Not to say that spring water is without some contaminants anymore thanks to overall pollution in today’s convenient industrial world we all cling to so heartily, failing to realize just how closely linked and dependent it is on fossil fuels at each turn. Still it is much better than tap water that, aside from having many chemicals added, runs the risk of carrying contaminants from aging pipelines and perhaps your own indoor plumbing.
this is sooooo true!!!! this is awesome!!!
you should write about american apparel…white people LOVE that store…
personally i prefer mountain spring water and the gravel ly taste. i grew up in central florida in the 50’s and 60’s. we couldnt make yellow snow there so we just made warm spots in the ocean, springs, and lakes. thats why i dont drink florida sourced spring water.
now i live in a city on the ohio river. i drink neither tap water nor bourbon made from that water. while i am sure that cincinatti is filled with nice people, i have no desire to drink their sewerage, no matter how well filtered.
Yes, I run all of my water through a filter, and yes I stopped using plastic bottles because of the waste and toxins from plastic. Even my dog’s water has to go through the filter. And I do get upset when I see less informed people abusing the environment one bottle at a time.
Just part of the herd. Love your WWW, very funny
I used to drink bottled water. My well water had a funny taste but was otherwise fine. I put a water softner on the well and now it is better (and cheaper).
Now I just fill expenside water bottles with tap water.
The metal bottle in the picture looks like what a camper would know as a fuel bottle for their portable stove. I’ve never seen anyone use one as a water bottle before, but I wouldn’t be shocked at all to see that.
Of course, being deployed overseas at the moment, we drink all of our water from bottles, because the alternative is spending a week in the port-a-john wishing you were dead (and drinking bottled water to re-hydrate)
Pffft. Aquafina and Dasani indeed. Those are nothig but filtered tap water. Evian is creamy, Fiji is clean and crisp. Poland Spring is bright if a little bland. San Pellegrino is piquant. Gerolsteiner is full-bodied. Perrier sparky and sharp. I could go on…but I need to apply some 50-factor sun cream
I like store-brand distilled water.
It’s great with crackers.
😉
I am currently living in the Middle East and I have no choice to but to drink bottled water…..actually even native residents drink bottled water here. However, I am originally from Memphis and I ever drank bottled water (Memphis’ tap water comes from underground springs….good stuff!)
I got my sigg from http://www.metalwaterbottlestore.com
Think about the the waste bottled water produce! You can’t even redeem platic bottles of water unless they’re carbonated. Such crap! Drink your tap water! Don’t like the flavor? Squeeze some lemon on it, and drink up! Cheers!
Maybe so, but I have never seen a metal water bottle in my life. As far as the carbon footprint my Dasani bottle leaves: the environment can blow me. I won’t be alive long enough for the really bad stuff to start happening and I have no kids. I think I’ll burn my plastic bottle when I am done with it.
Damn straight. I love tap water, at home, where we have a whole house filtration system. Man, our pool water is filtered. Shit, our dog gets her own little self her own little filtered wawa. Yep, we’re white. Well, no, only one of us is white. The rest are, well, Other. Believe me, this white folk would die if the Other didn’t get their filtered water; the regular tap water is too hard and it’s bad for their hair and skin. The other crabs day and night when we travel somewhere with hard water in the shower–and the Other never, ever, ever drinks tap water, ever–not even at home.
this is SO true! i’m white and most of the stuff on this blog is hilarious and surprisingly accurate. i was at track practice the other day and i’m drinking from my plastic bottle of ice mountain while my friend reaches into her bag and pulls out a metal bottle! i had just read this the day before and just then, another girl walks up and pulls her nalgene out of her bag. my friend gave the girl a dirty look and took a long drink from her metal bottle, showing it off. possibly one of the funniest things i’ve seen in awhile.
Mr Cheney, don’t you have some work you should be doing?
i wish idiots were outlawed from commenting.
OMG people who buy bottled water drive me up the wall. I can’t stand it when someone goes out anf pays like 2-3 bucks for a bottle of water atleast once a day just because it has a trace of lime in it. When theres a tap right next to you it just doesnt make sense to me. Stuff like this will drive out water prices through the roof. I guess it must be some random white thing to boast their social status, i just dont know anymore.
seriously. no joke.
On this subject. . .
http://thegearjunkie.com/water-bottle-cartoon
I fear I do not quite make the cut as a white person.
The town I used to reside in had a very bad infestation of iron slime bacteria in its pipe system, resulting in orange water. I was once asked if my gallon jug of water was not, in fact, gasoline during airport security screening.
After several months my gallon jugs went from being vaguely opaque to a dull orangeish green, with mold growing inside them.
I found when I discussed my water drinking habits with other white people they often developed rather pained expressions and changed the topic, or left. Clearly
This is hilarious…I hate bottled water. I drink from the tap whenever I can. Unfortunately the water in Chicago has too many fillers (i.e. probably flouride n such), and due to stomach problems I have to boil it or buy cheap spring water….bastards……
What about antibacterial hand sanitizers? White mothers love that stuff! When was the last time you saw anyone other than a white person applying this to themselves or their kids?
Also, if you are engaging in outdoor activities you need a water bottle and then you can recycle it before you stop by the farmer’s market to pick up your home grown, organic, free-trade coffee.
Don’t you see???? It all fits together! It’s a plot for white people to take over the world. Oh, wait. Never mind.
Saying you drink tap water whenever you can is like saying you use public toilets whenever you can: it’s vaguely disgusting. You’re saying that you’re sitting there, thirsty, and you have to get up to cook up some water? Are you nuts? Hey, cheapo, boil me up some fruit punch while you’re at it! That’s got to impress you guests. You ask “Are you thirsty? It’s really hot out.” to which they reply “Why, yes we’re parched, something cold and wet would be perfect, thank you.” “OK, I’ll just light up the stove and boil you some water. It’s just what you need to beat the heat!” Then they run away, never to return.
Whacko.
Hey, you never know what’s going around out there. Plus the smell of sanitizing, cooling alcohol is an aphrodisiac unknown to the non-white. Only a few of us know about it. Rub it on yourself when no one’s looking and women/men will fall all over themselves trying get your goods. Trust me, people will definitely fall over when you pass by if you have this stuff rubbed all over your body.
It’s true about the metal bottles! But the tap water here is not so safe to drink. It has lead in it. the government even sent us a Pur pitcher!
If it weren’t clearly satire, I’d have to disagree. I’m white, and almost none of this applies to me.
Don’t forget about all of the mercury used in gold mining as well.
FIJI water is a carbon NEGATIVE company. http://www.fijigreen.com in case anyone cares.
polycarbonate is not the same plastic used for nalgene bottles dum dum.
Insert obligatory “pooped my pants” reference here.
I’m white and I think bottled water is the biggest pile of crap gimmick ever invented.
What a waste.
Chicago mayor Daley proposed a raised tax on bottled water and other unnecessary luxuries in the city to help pay for the horrendously underfunded CTA. It met with such opposition form the grotequely bourgeouis north siders that the city needed to get a $550 million bail of from the federal government.
could this be anymore stereotypical.
i mean don’t get me wrong this is accurate for rich white people and stuff but not EVERY FREAKIN WHITE PERSON does this!!!
i don’t do any of this, i’m the opposite of all of this.
The new hippie craze by white people now is to drink out of glass bottles. So if you want to look like you care for the environment so much you have to start drinking from glass bottles instead of metal or plastic
then what would you do?
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Truth, Equality, and Justice?
http://www.survival-international.org
Just because a company pursues carbon offsets for their production doesn’t make it all that green. Wouldn’t it be better to not emit the carbon in the first place. I do think it’s better if we offset what we do produce, but come on… it’s water. We have one of the best water supplies in the world here in the US. Why spend the resources to import it?
white people are gay
gay gay gay gay giggen gay gay gay gay
score
Man, that shit is wack!
Me too. Lily, lily white. I am freaking out about my beloved Nalgene bottle. I actually went to Target (also on the list of stuff white people like) to look for a metal bottle. Sadly, no metal bottles there and I’m left feeling white and frustrated. Sigh.
Yeah that’s NASTY. And letting the dog sleep in your bed.
Now c’mon… that’s flippin’ INSANE.
I went on a trip to Switzerland with a (white upper class) associate, and one of the FIRST things she insisted she had to buy was a Swiss metal water bottle.
I thought she was joking.
So the trip goes on, we attend our business etc (Da Swiss rocks, btw) and we’re in the airport to leave four days later and she won’t go to the gate until she’s bought her water bottle! We are walking around, she’s bypassing the chocolate, and the liquor, looking for the water bottle.
I couldn’t even help. I didn’t know what I was looking for!
She finds it eventually (after about 40 minutes!) and… not a word of a lie, the thing cost about 37sf ! (Roughly $26 Canadian).
She was so happy with that damn bottle, lol – I still don’t get it!
(there wasn’t even WATER in it. WTF?)
YEP!! And how about the “smart” brands? That stuff that tastes like waterd down kool-aid, 370 calories with the vitamin content of half of a Flintstones chewable.
$4.85 at my corner bo-deli.
There’s a white person born every minute!
We tested the tap water from a public library here in Erie Pa and found traces of anti biotics including steroids, metal lead and other poisons, including nicotene.
LOLOLOL! I am SO white!!!
Agreed – “Carbon negative?” I’m no hippie, but like everyone else in San Francisco around me, that person is like all my neighbors who have Priuses and think they’re saving the environment by driving. Just because your car gets 10 more gallons a mile than my Civic doesn’t mean you’re better than me – you’re still polluting, man. Take the bus to work, drink tap water, and then we’ll see who’s really helping.
you must not hear the word “satire” very often.
You’re missing the point then – the reason it’s satirical is BECAUSE it’s things that you already hate. Besides, most of its posts – vacations, moving to Canada, bottled water, sushi – are stereotypical things OF PRIVILEGE that the author is poking fun at. It’s not the same thing as a hypothetical blog about “things black people like.” Each post on hear is a lighthearted poke at stereotypical upper-middle class lifestyles. A blog about “things black people like” (likely the one you have in mind) would no doubt be full of damaging lower-class stereotypes. THOSE would be the ones that non-lower class blacks would dislike, and they’d be right to dislike them. I don’t think pointing out how much upper-class Americans love to travel is doing much sociological damage to White Americans as a whole. So quit being butt-hurt by this blog – laugh, it’s funny.
Oops – I mean “here” not “hear.”
you should do a post about “carbon footprint”, & “global warming”
This list is only meant for yuppies. The vast majority of white people are exempt from this.
But seriously, people gotta stop buying a bottle of water shipped from lord knows where. Buy one and fill it up when it gets empty. If you live in a city with a lot of chlorine in the water supply, just fill up containers and let them sit unopened over night.
I don’t mean to be sound bossy, but watching people trot around with a perfectly good container with no plan other than to toss it out (don’t be fooled; recycling is only slightly better than throwing something in the garbage) when when they’re done drinking the renewable resource within deeply offends the values I grew up with.
I’m half-white, and I love bottled water, but only if it’s carbonated. Perrier is a good thirst quencher, whereas St-Justin, Narzan or Borjomi are good to have as you’re quietly conversing.
THIS IS SO TRUE! hahaha. All the white teachers at my school always a bottle of water with them
This has to be the most ignorant racist blog I have ever read. It’s like saying all black people will become a thief at one point in their life. Not nice huh?
tap water tastes like shit and makes me gag.
Even in NYC, which supposedly has the best tap water in the country – it still tastes like crap.
Brita and such are the type of filters i use for my shower, gotta have spring water or RO for drinking!
black people like to have kids to get on wellfare
Up until this post, I just thought SWPL was an over simplified but retribution based, justified and racially charged shot at white people. Then I read post #76 and thought, “that is so me.” Well done. I am guilty of it all.
I remember when Fiji bottles were “in” about 7 years ago, and now it’s Nalgene. I think even with the reports Nalgene bottles may have potentially harmful chemicals they’re still popular, at least here in Madison.
I didn’t know those metal bottles were in though. I’d rather drink from a plastic bottle than a stainless steel looking one.
Hey guys! It’s Jess (the African-Canadian) again. Just one comment on this post: who DOESN’T love bottled water? I mean, really? lol
Nalgene make their clear bootles from polycarbonate.
uh- that’s because teachers (of which I am one) like to be hydrated. I ALWAYS have water by my side and I won’t have an open topped cup because it opens itself to students putting things into it. Recently, I have decided to bring my Starbucks (GASP! WHITENESS!) coffee mug with me and fill it with ice (I like COLD water) and water and refill it while I’m at work. I don’t drink bottled water unless I’m out hiking around after getting to my location in my gas guzzling sequoia which carries just myself and my husband. Sometimes we take the corvette if we’re going “out for the day”. Ok- now I’m seriously off topic now and onto the Prius post. Anyway- the reason teachers have water bottles all the time is because they get THIRSTY from talking to their students all day long and need to drink something and alcohol isn’t allowed at school! (Laugh now- it’s a joke!)
I’m white and I did buy a SIGG bottle, before that I had a big plastic bottle and when I’m home I use glasses. I only drink water all day so I’d pry be broke if I had to buy a bottle of water every time I got thirsty. Oh, and by the way… I always have and always will fill it up with tap water!!!!! Bottled water tastes like plastic to me. Who wants to drink that?
“advanced white people” LOL
I plan to use glass and make a padded cover for it. Remember…soda pop used to come in glass. Baby bottles used to be glass. Milk used to come in glass bottles. Glass is the answer!!
Great point. I’m still waiting for the “Target” blog myself.
I spent almost 45 minutes online shopping for a Sigg water bottle! It’s kind of ironic. Here I am trying to buy something to help save the earth and I can’t for the life of me find a bottle design I like the best. It’s friggin ridiculous. It’s a total status symbol. Damn, I can’t wait to order one!
does that mean you?
How right you are, dumb ass.
I just love this site. It is soooo fun. Gawd. you diminished types who put that shit up drive me crazy. If this stuff is sooooo gawd damn funny, laugh, get over it and don’t waste the blog space. We all know it is funny; you don’t have to tell us.
You tool…I have lived in JK all my life and have always drank right from the tap. JK has some of the best water in the country…freaking Virginia/Arkansas. Yeah those back woods states have great water treatment systems…LOL
What kind of retarded website is this? You people act like white people are all the same. White people consist of alot of different ancestors and cultures. Yes whites I do believe are less connected to their culture then others. But they are not all the same. Saying people like something based on their skin color is extremly retarded. I know alot of whites who hate coffee, drink tap water, don’t have gay friends, and I know many irish white who don’t drink on st. patricks day.
Most the people who like this website are probably those retarded non-whites that say negative things about white people all the time. But when they hear their own race being insulting they consider it racism. Don’t get me wrong their are defiently racist whites,and I can’t stand them any more then a racist hispanic or racist black.
Things like this are what support and keep racism alive.
Ha! I’d like to see even more on this one…I think there are other elements to the whole bottled water phenomenon.
http://death-sentences.blogspot.com/
I like to have me a nice cold glass of bottled water before i go to bed, when I wake up or whenever I feel like it. It’s my right to drink bottled water. After mother nature decided to put chemicals and other unmentionables into our water it’s no longer safe to consume unless you want to pollute your own body with them and get your daily dose of whatever prescriptions people are taking thats still lurking in your water..I know everyone likes to think that they are doing their part but if you want to do your part drink the damn bottles water. It’s on every shelf, tons and tons of it at every store. Producers are not going to stop making it because one or two people are “antibottled water” It’s there for your consumption. You want to consume liquor but nobody ever says to stop drinking because of the waste that it produces..all the bottles thrown away..Just recycle your stupid bottle and stop being one of the million jerk offs that buy the water but are too lazy to recycle it. Use and reuse dipsticks.
To assassin: lighten up
It’s called stero typing..yes some people still enjoy doing that as you can see but..there are some things that are very true..
like most black people I see are either ghetto, acting ghetto, want to be ghetto, want to be rappers, are cruising around with rims and their stereo blasting shaking people’s houses, listening to rap and r&b and it goes on and on of annoying things most black people do..I am talking a majority of the people.. I could survey the public crowd and my observations are almost always accurate. You get a few people that aren’t like that but it’s not enough to change people’s views about those people, thus the stereotypes remain.
Get the majority of black people to stop listening to rap and listen to rock music and THEN I may consider letting go of my stereotypes. I am sure people won’t like what i have said but it’s the truth.
White people shop at Whole Foods while most black families shop at Price Chopper or Save a lot..or get their groceries from a convienence store.
White person will die just like any other color without good clean water as nature intended.
Water is neutral color so it has no color lines
Sincerely,
Pursanova
I think I just stubled across the ultimate white person water bottle:
http://www.korwater.com/
Hey Dwight, why do you think African Americans shop at those kinds of food stores? You are obviously unaware of the poverty that is faced amongst African Americans as a cause of intitutionalized rascism. Health food stores are usually located in richer, white populated areas and are far more expensive than cheap processed foods that can easily bought in the areas that most African Americans live.
Rap and Hip-Hop is generally the more popular music in African American culture today. Why is it more acceptable to listen to things like rock?Why should we have prejudice against one ethnic idea and not the other? That is an example of rascism. I am a white person, and I love rap. I do not try to act like this is a part of my ethnic history, but I respect the amount of great songs, musical ideas, and change that has come out of Rap and Hip-Hop, as well as other music that has been a product of African Americans.
We as white people are responsible for the current situation in of African Americans. Although in our lifetimes we may not have shipped Africans overseas and forced them to work as slaves, we are the people who are in power, and by not actively helping power and wealth to be distributed equally amongst African Americans, we are supporting the rascist and classist system. We are the descendants of people in power, and we still are in power. It is our obligation to use that power and wealth for the pregression of justice for people of color.
assassin get over it! white is white! if you guys don’t wanna be treated like you’re all the same stop acting like it. also get your Nazi friends to stop hating evrything tht isn’t as white as chalk.
bottom line white isn’t exotic and it doesn’t vary. that’s why it’s called white.
yes i am ignorant.
so are you.
sites like this don’t support racism they jst put it out in the open and make it humorous.
i think it’s funny.
if you don’t like it get your flat ass off the site.
I only like arrowhead spring water.
Oh my god. I am white, and I find this to be so funny yet true. White people really are the biggest dorks on the planet.
Hmm… the smell of hand sanitizer…. absolutely adore it… keep a bottle on my desk and whiff.. am blk & asian… I don’t even know if I’m supposed to be on this site… some type of secret white people thing.
LoL… Oh Dwight. Why did you have to go there…
As a black female, shopping at Price Chopper or Save A Lot, I will never do… not feelin baggin’ my own groceries… would rather have the white girl at Farm Fresh do it!! LoL
And what hood are you circling where all you see is black people shopping at the discount stores, and the rims and loud music… Cuz I’m pretty sure a true WHITE person like you is in the suburbs.. And us ghetto black people live in the hood. Things that make you go hmm….
Anyway, just wanted to throw my lil two cents in… Nothing special… I do love the site tho… It’s crazy how on the money it is.
My bottle: BPA-free plastic bottle from a new Canadian company that’s really into clean water and environmentalism. I bought it after a semi-exhaustive web search to find the perfect BPA-free bottle.
Yes, my whiteness is bright, my friends, very bright.
i used to drink like 4-6 bottles of water a day . it was a lot … i HATE tape water it taste and smells odd
I’ve read several times in various publications that it is recommended that people drink 6 eight ounce glasses of water or 8 six ounce glasses of water per day. In case you missed the math, that’s 48 ounces, or three liquid pounds. It’s also 3/4 of a gallon. Do you know how many times you’d have to pee if you actually drank that much? But I still see people trying to do it. Carrying around bottles so supersized they require a handle. Insanity.
an even whiter alternative (and my favorite by far) is the Camelbak. it says, I’m so into being outside that I can’t be bothered to carry a water bottle. I have to carry it in a backpack.
Hey dumb ass. Go to Irag, go on patrol. You’ll see hundreds of water back packs on Joes. On second thought, forget it, just sit on your ass and type away; you may get hurt over there. Oh yeh, many on the Joes are black.
I only like watercorns.
Ive come on this to the conclusion that the reason white people like all of the shit on this website is the following:
If you got it like that why not experience more with your life.
Shit I golf, snowboard, rockclimb, mountain bike, live in manhattan, drive a fat asS bmw suv, fuck asian women, have plenty of black friends, got sweaters and motherfuckin t-shirts that I’LL wear on a plane to San FraCisco if I damn well fell like it. Shit Ill Even invite my lawyer to my beach house on a sunday for coffee maybe some tea while we read the fuckin New York Times. Yes the Liberal rag that sweats Barack Obama. After that we will indulge in some microbrews on my vintage sail boat.
When I get Bored ill travel the fuck where I want probably to snowboard somewhere usually Utah the whitest fuckin state there is. Ill take in some wine before I watch a film at sundance while I am there.
Just for a challenge I will go to a farmers market get some organic shit go home and order some sushi. You see I am trying to get in shape to run a fuckin marathon. After I finish the first thing I am going to do is shut of my i-pod loaded with free music, grab some bottled water and spark a fat mother fuckin spliff!!!!
YEAH I LOVE BEING AWARE OF DIVERSITY.
HOWEVER THE IRONY OF THIS WHOLE THING IS BEING WHITE FOR ME ONLY FOR ME!!! kICKS BIGTIME ASS!!
Shit! I have a bottle just like the one in the picture!
Mom! I’m a stereotypical white man!
what do you want to tell us?
that you “got it like -mother fuckin- that”? that’s great.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
IDIOT SCREAMS IN ALL CAPS!!!!1!!1one
Just relax.
If it makes sense in Iraq, that doesn’t mean it’s not ridiculous in an office.
Other stuff white people like, reusable grocery bags to carry their organic food.
http://www.cafepress.com/day_earth/4563204
Man, that Sigg website is creepy!
I need a titanium and platnium water bottle – stat!
Sigg is amazing. No BPA. Nice.
Though I do feel the need to justify some people drinking bottled water…and this probably only applies to about .05% of those doing so. Take my boyfriend, for example; allergic to chlorine. Chlorine is in our tap water, so he cannot drink it. If he does, he gets massive headaches. I fill his empty *gasp* plastic bottles so that I may drink water from the bottles as well.
i’m white, and i admit i can’t drink tap water. it grosses me out somehow =\ it just feels cleaner to drink from a bottle.
Studies show that tap water is better for you
And lots of bottled waters are tap water anyways o.O
umm.. yeah, have you ever actually read about what’s in tap water? I can’t believe people are actually trying to pass it off as “safe”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2008/03/09/ST2008030901877.html
There are lots of really cool stainless steel bottles at http://www.shopkirdevries.com
Here in Sweden, we are so white that even though we have excellent, pure, non-clorified (don’t need to, it’s not reused) water from the tap we still buy bottled water. But to justify it, it has to be with flavour (with or without bubbles). And it has to be of a Swedish brand (all else is shamefull). It can under no circumstances be BonAqua, since it is a Coca-Cola brand (American! Multinational!).
My favorite is probably Loka Smultron. I think smultron translates into wild strawberries (really small and sweet)… Oh, painfully white!
Oh yea, and most white Swedes that carry tapwater around, reuse a plastic bottle (preferably the one of their favorite flavor and brand). Almost noone carries around the refillables americans use, those are only used at the gym or on a hike…
Sigg makes a really good product and this is coming straight from a VERY white person. Yes, indeed.
OK this is lame but I actually just bought one of those aluminium water bottles. It makes sense for my work… haha
well when you don’t make grape cool-aid out of the tap water you tend to taste all of the nasty chemicals that the treatment plant adds to sanitize the water. MMMM chlorine….. sounds real appealing to me….. guess i’ll have to be a snobby white person huh
so true. so true. have that one it black clear.
Aquafina and dasani both come from municipal sources, and tap water is by no means safe or healthy I would explain to you how unhealthy they both are but it would just go way over your head anyways. Water is contaminated from pollutants that increase when things such as plastic bottles are produced, that is why we use refillable bottles to minimize (I didn’t say eliminate so don’t even try to start shit or I will rip your ass so hard) pollution. Plus bottles of water are healthier than 40s of Olde E and Kool-Aid any day of the week.
they made safe nalgene bottles, so i have one of those.
The entire world grew up on regular tap water. Those white yuppies “invented” bottled water! Wish it was me.
Visit: So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager
This may have already been mentioned, but I don’t feel like going through the comments. One must purchase the Sigg water bottles in Switzerland. Otherwise, it is not “authentic.”
You are completely wrong again.
White people enjoy getting “free” (well, very cheap) water just like non-whites.
Thomas (white guy who has NEVER purchased bottled water… oh wait, just that one time when I was stranded for 12 hours in Nevada)
I hate drinking from bottles, and try not to but there are days that the tap water not only tastes bad at our house, but it even smells bad.
White people should just drink toilet water and get over their fears.
Tap water don’t fly in the city — at least in SO CA (I grew up in rural Oregon with well water … very nice). Bottled water for drinking is the only option now. We finally went Culligan because my wife stopped wanting to cart in these huge bottles. We go through 25 gallons a month (and still use tap for coffee, tea, and cooking). The Culligan Man brings it into our house, so neither of us have to cart that stuff about.
We have our personal heavy-duty plastic bottles from corner-store purchases, for refilling.
Now, I do have a metal bottle with a screw-top. It’s called a hip-flask. Water has been in there periodically to rinse out the vodka or whatever. But rarely.
Sum: buy water in bulk, refill the “sport” bottles with it, and and you can minimize your carbon footprint, while still enjoying a nice, white, bottle of drinking water (and leave the medal containers for the important stuff).
I live in CA. I used to work at a bottled water facility….arrrgh, no comments. I love watching people drink Aquafina which is bottled in Fresno. I live in No. Ca and the water out of the tap is the same water that gets bottled and shipped to So Ca.
I am a hypocrite though as I still drink bottled water. I hope I find self-awareness on the list.
God i hate white people… the only good honkey is one laying in a puddle of his blood with a bullet through his head
How can you forget Smartwater?! It’s the Prius of bottled water! It’s what Steve Jobs drinks during Apple keynotes. You could have a trifecta: a Prius with an Apple sticker and a bottle of Smartwater in the cupholder.
I think that used to be called a canteen.
lol who wouldnt love this
http://www.SHOP-LUSCIOUS.com
I thought botteled water was out…man now I gotta stock up again and through out my Pur water filter lol
And don’t forget the bike rack on that Prius.
I’m so guilty (but not white). Although after reading these blogs my friends say I’m the whitest person they know.
wish we had bottle water in the uk ,our tap water is brown….u yanks r so rich even the black ones…
there’s a standing joke in Fiji that we export Fiji water to the States but drink contaminated water ourselves……… and the part about contaminated water if for real!! While Americans drink water directly from bottles, we have to put tap water through a long and arduous process of home filtering and boiling to get rid of the dirt particles and pathogens……….. in fact, Fiji’s tap water if so unfit for drinking that embassies warn their citizens that if they come to Fiji, they should buy bottled water for drinking……….. and the same warning goes for roadside cafes….
What does that comment “even the black ones” supposed to mean?
It all depends on the Recycle Number at the bottom. If your number is 7, you’re the wrong kind of white.
It’s stupid, the chemical they’re talking about is called BPA and I work with it every day, and it’s really not that unsafe. Like at all. Stupid people wanting to spend more money…
I love tap water, and I always have. My parents and my husband always talk shit to me when I get a drink out of the tap, because they like to drink their water out of the Brita pitcher straight from the fridge. I’m really not so high maintenance that I can’t just drink normal water. I think it’s hilarious.
If you aren’t up on your British lingo, Yanks are Americans, and they meant even the “African-American” people who live in the US can afford not to drink tap water. Don’t get your panties in a twist.. Maybe they are still under the impression that “black people” are impoverished, no matter where they live in the US.
The author makes several great points about white people and their affliction with paying money for bottled water. However the author left out the fact that the reason black people can drink water from the tap is because the the simply mix it with kool aide. That’s stuff is ghetto water!
At least ur cancer is tasty and red.
You must be from the Pacific Northwest. The rest of the country’s tap water is crap.
can i just say that this entire article is ridiculous and based soley on some form of a stereotype you cannot group “white people” together which may i point out is politically incorrect. this article if anything is a JOKE!
I drink bottled water.
LIZ… BPA (Bisphenol-A) is really not that safe??? Where do you get your information from? and how old are you? I only ask the age related question because it seemed appropriate with the chemical that you work with ALL day, that to your own standards “it’s really not that unsafe”. BPA is an organic compound with two phenol functional groups that mimics ESTROGEN, found in the process of plastics labeled 3 and sometimes 7 (No.7 plastics is kind of a “catch all”). Yeah, some people don’t care and consider estrogen a natural hormone produced in all women (and men). However, the rate of increased puberty in a younger generation (before the age of 12) is directly linked to BPA… If you’re a girl, developing boobs or having a sudden increase of cup size is great, not so much for guys; and yes its happening to guys. The down size of Estrogen: CANCER CAUSING hormone!!!!!! so I ask you one last question… is cancer really worth saving the $22.00 you can spend on a water bottle at http://www.sigg.com???
I love this site, I keep finding things that I’m guilty of, especially this one. I have 4 nalgenes and for some damn reason think that I need another one. Oh yeah, you forgot to mention the 35 (or so) stickers that you have to put on your bottle to ensure that you are cool. For me all my stickers are from rock climbing companies or yoga companies so that people can ask me what they are and I can feel unique. Other acceptable stickers can include anything environmental or political. And no, there is no way I could make this up.
It’s not serious. It is based on stereotypes. Thats part of what makes it funny.
But being offended is #101 on the list so… keep being white!
My tap water smells like it belongs in a swimming pool. But if you put it in a bottle and drink it, you can hardly smell it at all! It’s amazing!
I use the refillable bottle, but I actually need the filter. The last time I drank straight from the tap, I vomited after feeling perfectly healthy before. Water in towns close to mine is fine, but our water sucks.
I really do enjoy all the complaints about swpl being racist.
White people as a whole deal with so much prejudice on a day to day basis that it is great to see people like you standing up for such a struggling race.
I, for one, am sickened by the idea that a person would assume I enjoy drinking WATER out of BOTTLES simply because I am white! What nerve!
Ok, yes I DO drink out of a metal bottle, BUT, remember how when, as a white kid, you drank out of the garden hose when you were playing outside? Mannnn, if only they could capture that taste and bottle it….. They could call it “Pure Hose Water” ( Or would that be Pur? ) Guaranteed to come directly from the source!
i used to drink well water out of my parents tap and it was horrible but i dont mind city water.. it is better out of a brita thou
i think ur a nutcase lol… i usualy drink water out of a glass
The stickers are to distinguish your bottle from the other 30 identical Nalgene bottles at the climbing gym and/or yoga studio … (eyes roll).
This is dumb
What is there online that isn’t dumb? Oh yeah! Porn!
We live in Seattle and I really try to only buy bottled water in emergency situations and then re-use the bottle (esp. if it is one of the cooler-looking bottles).
Guilty! (I guess),
-White Chick
Fiji is actually carbon negative. Bad example. checkout fijigreen.com know the facts.
PEOPLE! lighten up. life isnt that serious
To all my fellow whities,
I love the fact that there is an alternative to bottled water. The bottled water industry is booming on the fact that their product is just filtered water. You could make that at home. Just buy metal, and it will probably be the last bottle you ever buy (unless someone takes it from you.) love mine
You do all realise that you can re-fill plastic water bottles right???
You just unscrew the lid, fill it up, replace the lid back on and continue drinking as if nothing ever happened!!!!!! AMAZING.
lol the whole thing with plastic is that it lets off stuff into your water. Thats why it isn’t white enough. Besides, metal is more durable, and can be doubled as an accessory. More complicated. Very caucasian.
Uh, yeah, I’m in Day 2 of an experiment. My family is spending no money for 2 weeks. And the first thing I almost bought was a bottle of water at the YMCA. On my way to work out, I realized I couldn’t buy it, and I just can’t quench my thirst at the water fountain, so I went home and got my pretty, red, SIGG, BPA-free bottle. If you want to read about my spending blackout over the next two weeks, you can check out my Planet Perspectives blog.
Many are unaware of poisoning caused by re-using plastic bottles. Some of you may be in the habit of using and re-using your disposable mineral water bottles (e.g. Nestle, Bisleri, Aquafina, Kinley, Evian,etc…), keeping them in your car or at work. Not a good idea. It happened in Dubai, when a 12 year old girl died after a long usage (16 months) of SAFA mineral water bottle, as she used to carry the same fancy (painted by herself) bottle to her school daily.
In a nutshell, the plastic (called polyethylene terephthalate or PET) used in these bottles contains a potentially carcinogenic element(something called diethylhydroxylamine or DEHA). The bottles are safe for one-time use only; if you must keep them longer, it should be or no more than a few days, a week max, and keep them away from heat as well. Repeated washing and rinsing can cause the plastic to break down and the carcinogens (cancer-causing chemical agents) can leak into the water that YOU are drinking.
Better to invest in water bottles that are really meant for multiple uses.
The largest maker of LDPE bicycle type water bottles (no negative health issues here) has now introduced a bottle that biodegrades 100% in landfill if it is not recycled. This is a reusable sports bottle that has an expected 5 year life, is recyclable (symbol 4), is made from at least 20% post industrial recycled material.
Check it out at http://www.BioGreenBottles.com
(a 12 year old girl died after a long usage (16 months) of SAFA mineral water bottle, as she used to carry the same fancy (painted by herself) bottle to her school daily.)
I think I’ll put this story in the Bigfoot and Chupacabra file. I must have missed your source material.
If these bottles are not safe after a few days, how long do you think it is between manufacture date and when you open the bottle. When you get it home, it probably takes longer than that before you finish the case of water.
Just saying.
People should stop using the stupid cancer causing chemicals as an excuse to not re use plastic water bottles. Especially it’s a real fancy bottle, such as Evian-nothing says class like charging a 4 dollar bottle of water to your credit card- and ya, I sadly have done that!! We should all know by now, everything we consume will some how, eventually be proven to cause cancer.
To the gentlesir who said class it the answer…I almost agree with you! Amazing!
Clearly you have NEVER had a true loving companion. Your probably the small yappy dog type. Get a real fluffy one. Let it cuddle up with you in bed on your worst day and you will fully understand how a good night kiss on the lips from a pooch is SO much more fulfilling than of your sexual human choice! And they are never mad and you, so why deny them of a cozy sleeping spot?!
You all realize that this website is supposed to be satire. Sarcastic websites that get serious responses, how white can you get!
you do realize Evian spelt is naivE right? just thought you otta know 🙂
negroes and Four-O’s?
what is it wit dem & malt liquor, anyway
Most of your posts are SO true!
White people ARE like that, my bf is white by the way.
who does that?tap water is discusting.DISCUSTING!i wouldnt even make my cat drink tap water.its as gross as hobos!haha
and ps smartwater ftw cuz spring water is also gross amd smartwater comes in pretty bottles.and also this really pretty stuff that looks like vodka(the bottle,anyways)is good.but not as good as SMARTWATER!
and no i would not bathe…or do laundry with it unles it was filtered
i have a filtration system
how can people drink tap water?
disgusting. not discusting.
Yeah, metal water bottles are def cool. i guess i do see a lot of white people with them.
i admit though i have one. heathcliff’s comment is good too, it does feel like we r trashing where we live if we just throw everything out. i ended up getting a klean kanteen metal water bottle at http://www.waterbottlepeople.com. i dont know if they r white or not, but they had good prices 😉
My background is as a chemist from Columbia U up in NYC. I now work as a technical columnist for a major (non-corporate) US news source.
Tap water is not always cleaner than bottled (spring) water. It depends on the municipality of the tap water or the source of the spring water. Basic bottled tap water is never a good idea, and by this I refer to brands such as Aquafina, Desani, etc.
Curious for an answer, I purchased 3 water testing kits. At my friend and colleague’s lab at Portland State University and with home test kits, I tested my home’s tap water and my store’s spring water, which was shipped in from another state. Both came out to be just as pure. There can be differences, such as the quality of pipes from the tap water’s source to your home. If you have an older home, pipes may be made of lead, or with newer homes, they may be made of PVC plastic.
There is no perfect source for urbanites, it seems. City water can be tainted with anything from caffeine to jet fuel for urban dwellers, and farm residue for country dwellers.
Be proactive. The best solution seems to be to test your water yourself with an approved test kit, or to call your city and ask for the water to be tested. In the US, this means calling your local
health department. Some cities offer free water testing, as is the case in Portland, Oregon USA.
What I have chosen to do is have my tap water tested. When this came out clean and absent of detectable (key word here) bad things, I chose to get a good quality filter that fit into my budget. If you choose to go with a filter, know what is first in your water. Otherwise, it’s like trying to filter out sand with a filter that has big holes. You need to know what you’re filtering out so you get the correct type of filter. There are many filters, from reverse osmosis (RO) to Ultraviolet, to simple charcoal. Keep in mind, however, that our ability to detect any object is only as good as the technology we employ. In other words, the technology we have today to detect what is bad for us equals what we know to be bad for us. Phrased another way, in the future, we will likely discover more things that are harmful for us in water and elsewhere, because technology, and our ability to use it, has improved.
So once my tap filter was in place, I bought a reusable water bottle. These are very popular today, but moreover it’s a good way to avoid using and tossing a lot of plastic water bottles each day. In the US, they range in price from about $15-35, depending on brand and store. I bought a 40 oz, or 1.2 liter, stainless steel Klean Kanteen brand, for which I paid about $25 from a company selling reusable water bottles, called Water Bottle People, online at http://www.waterbottlepeople.com.
I recommend talking to your local health department, as well as reading quality sources of information, such as peer reviewed journals, and books by noted authors. One particular book I like, is by Steve Meyeorwitz, a.k.a the Sproutman, entitled Water: The ultimate Cure.
dude!
i got my sigg at http://www.waterbottlepeople.com
sigg brothers rock!
Check it out. Your water bottle entry was mentioned on this site:
http://www.fitafterthirty.com/apparel-gear/eco-friendly-water-bottles/
Yeah, or Seattle, or Shoreline, or Los Angeles. LA had the worst tap water. I get the filter elements in bulk.
That’s hilarious, and so true. There is definitely a place for a re-usable bottle when you need to actually leave the house with water…but yes, tap water is indeed plenty safe to drink. The aluminum bottles got so insanely popular last summer when Julia Roberts touted them on Oprah, that people were paying DOUBLE the suggested retail just to get a pretty bottle to drink WATER from. Craziness.
Now it’s getting even more complicated: Stainless Steel vs. Aluminum. http://www.ecocanteen.com
If only this was NOT true!
C’mon Whitey — if you love this planet, lose the bottle and start actively working to preserve your free, public, safe drinking water supply at home and abroad. Isn’t “the environment” on this list somewhere?
Right again. [See Stuff White People Like, no. 99 ]
i.e. We like grammar; it follows that spelling and punctuation matter.
Time to start teaching those things again in the US, a place chock-full of white folk!
Brita or PUR filters? SO 5 years ago. Any real white person has a reverse osmosis filter built in to their sink.
I only drink tap water… out of my Sigg…
You should also add “Always being fully hydrated to your list.”
Kay, I read that one. Hilarious!
I have a sigg, I drink distilled water, which I get from my home water distiller (you can get one from most kitchen type stores), the origins is from tap.
That link is so funny. Thanks for sharing! I love websites that keep it real and keep the same vibe as cheap and cheesy infomercials!
I’m black, and I’m not drinking anyone’s tap water. I do drink my water from a metal bottle AFTER I filter it. I’m a proud buyer of Aquafina, too.
This is an extremely witty site. I love it when I realize that I’ve combined things on the list. My water bottle #76 has a couple of stickers on it. One is an actual bumper sticker #100 that states: “make local habit” #18, social awareness. Another sticker is for our community radio station #44. There is also a sticker promoting a local microbrew #23. Too bad the indie band #41 sticker is on another bottle.
I like Figi!!
why does this article have to be on white people? and i agree with some people above. tap water is nasty! so ya if that makes me one of those SNOBBY white people who have to buy bottled water then i guess thats me=]
Do you know fluoride is an internationally recognized poison.
In fact not long ago its only approved uses were as an insecticide and a rat poison. Most nations have wisely abandoned it, realizing it was a horrible mistake, responsible for bad health and death in millions of innocent people.except for the good lo’U.S. of A. Fluoride is an enzyme inhibitor and that means not one single cell in your body escapes its toxic effects. this toxin is linked to a whole host of diseases including cancer. Google it under side effects of fluoride.
were can you get these metal water bottles?
Pfff, that is so last year. Nalgene wasn’t about to let their market slip between their fingers over some chemicals that happen to be leached out when their bottles are exposed to hot water and interfere with reproductive hormones in children. They’ve replaced their entire line of water bottles with a new plastic manufactured without BPA.
So if you need leverage over a white person, just look for the shiny metallic bottle and point out how you can’t see what’s in it, nor will the contents stay pleasantly cool as long as they would in a BPA-free plastic bottle.
I don’t really like bottled water. The only time I drink it is if I’m out west. Arrowhead is fucking sweet.
I prefer the taste of filtered water better (Because it’s colder) than bottled water but I’m not gonna throw a fuss if I get tap. Basically if it’s cold water, I’ll drink it.
How is filtered water “colder” than tap or bottled water?
The Fiji company actually has a negative carbon footprint, just so you know. They offset everything they do. Look things up before you post.
The carbon credits they pay are more or less a concept to soothe conscience. The reality is, the whole chain of events to supply a trendy 20-something with plain old water, in a fancy bottle, from a distant island is an exponentially greater disservice to the environment than tap water, or domestically sourced bottled water.
A snippet:
The production plant runs on diesel fuel, 24 hours a day. The high-grade plastic used to make the bottles is transported from China to Fiji, and then (full of water) to the United States and other countries. A 1 liter bottle of FIJI Water contaminates 6.74 liters of water to stretch-blow mold the plastic, burns fossil fuel to transport plastics from China and full bottles to the country of sale, and produces 0.25 kg of greenhouse emissions, based on the U.S. as the country of sale.
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I look things up when I need to…and just so you know, people spew CO2 into the air 24/7…where is your carbon offset…it’s coming, don’t kid yourself.
I’ll agree with that…is it just coincidence that Evian is to naive spelled backwards?
I bought a metal bottle just so people will stop nagging me about my nalgene bottle. Yes they were all white, and I’m talking at least 6 months of coments they were haunting me at night.
you should be able to drink tabwater in most countries nowadays, in some places though it tastes like shit.
SIGG-bottles (yes, you can clearly read the brand on the picture, try to order one online if you really cant find a store that sells them) are nice for hiking or during class if you ask me. if they are so IN that’s not a bad thing, considering the CO2-story etc, etc…
i bought mine from green cross, they were selling tem at freaking horrendous prices and the money would go to africa and the phillipines for cleaning poisoned groundwatersources.
that’s prettywhite-nerd-ish, i guess 😛
on the other hand i had hardly ever heard of them before, and i live in switzerland, where they are made! (yes, that white cross on red is the swiss flag)
In a blind taste test there’s no difference in taste. It’s been done. That’s your white snobbism doing the thinking for you.
I am feeling very guilty about my Fiji, thanks to certain Whole Foods clerks and now this blog (but love this blog anyway as it’s hysterically dead on). I have always preferred bottled water most of the time because of taste, except when bottled water didn’t taste any better because of the plastic…in which case I’d go for some kind of flavored beverage like Vitamin Water, soda, juice, coffee or tea.
As I lover of bottled water, I eased my conscience by making sure the plastic bottles were recycled. Now, reading some of these posts, I have a heightened “awareness” of why the WF checkout clerks are not appeased when I tell them I recycle after they comment on the number of bottles they ring up.
Taste aside, I was introduced to Fiji last year when I was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst which at first was a cancer scare. Because I desperately wanted to avoid surgery, I bought this e-book:
http://www.readthenbuy.com/OvarianCystCures/
Cheesy, I know, but again, it is aimed at women who do not want surgery and the e-book touts Fiji water along with avoiding meat, organic food, natural medicine…and yes, the testimonials of non-white women helped convince me to buy the book. My cyst did shrink after following it’s special diet, but sticking to it was completely unrealistic so the cyst flared up and I broke down and had the surgery.
I was ogling Siggs in a co-op store a few months ago, and noting that they don’t have the problem of leaching chemicals as plastic bottles, but was skeptical about the no-leaching thing. I would be glad to use a non-leaching reusable bottle if I could find water that tasted as good as Fiji to fill it with. Water filtered through Brita and other filters doesn’t taste good to me.
I have read that it is healthy to drink 1 liter of water every day for every 50 pounds you weigh. If the water doesn’t taste good, though, that’s not realistic. I suppose I could get the bigger bottles of filtered water that WF and the co-op sells and fill my Sigg with that. The only thing that stopped me from buying a Sigg, other than my doubt that the co-op water tastes good, is skepticism about Siggs being free of chemical leaching. Because I really don’t want to need surgery again.
An Update…
I am making the switch to Whole Foods’ deionized water, which, at 39 cents a gallon tastes JUST AS GOOD AS FIJI! A WF clerk, (white with blond dreads to give you the full Whole Foods experience) recommended it to me months ago but I doubted that it would taste good. The water machine where you can fill reusable containers, located in the same aisle as the bottled water, was invisible to me until I saw the sign on it that said that the supplier DOES filter out the pharmaceuticals.
I thought I was the only one who was so picky about water. I know lots of people prefer bottled to tap but until recent years no one ever acknowledged the plastic taste a lot of bottled waters have. So now I can stop using the recycle rationalization for buying Fiji and no longer endure the judgmental looks from WF checkout clerks–for being environmentally irresponsible when I do care about the environment and for wasting money at a time like this.
Apparently white people occasionally like to be told what we like. I am so BURNED!
so if majority of people drink tap and we all die because of it or you going to become king of the new America? cause if so, i will start buying my water too.
First of all, I would be queen being female and all. Secondly, last time I checked, America was not a monarchy.
That all depends on where you live my friend. Chlorine is absolutely detectable in some jurisdictions. Iron can also be very prominent if you have a private well.
Nalgene now makes BPA free bottles…I am a loyal customer!
Does anyone have any suggestions for purified water with fluoride in it? I am pregnant and have been instructed to forego spring water since it lacks fluoride that the baby needs for healthy bones and teeth. Ideas?
u black peeps can go fuck urself.. white power
Check your city’s website – most places fluoridate their water already. You can buy a filter to put directly on your tap (PUR/Brita) and then just use that water. If you are in a medium sized + city you almost certainly already get the fluoridation needed in tap water.
You idiot… Look at the author of this blog: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/29/Christian_Lander.jpg/800px-Christian_Lander.jpg
you could put flavors in the water to make it more drinkable…like brewing some herbal teas and letting them cool off and then putting it into the SIGG.
i got one at REI…
it had a metal cap, and was on clearance…
it is tough and can handle being tossed in my bag when i run for the bus, or dropped when hiking.
i drink more water and save money….and it doesn’t even get moldy…just rinse every night.
it isn’t so hard!
if you REALLY can’t stand the taste of your tap water…you must live in the city!
if you got well water, you got good taste…clorine-free.
im white….. but i hav black friends…. ur an ass…. a real big ass… im just 12 and i understand that all cultures are to be treated equally..this website is funny but not meant to be taken siriusly, so look around and see that half of this country was built off of internationality, (if thats a word) what makes this country Great is the differenciality of people. Soo pisss offfff! dont be a racist ass~!~!
the author looks weird to me
Hilarious!
Sigg bottles rock. 80’s street artist Keith Haring design http://www.mysigg.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=692.
Available at Target and most grocery stores: http://www.nurserywater.com/
That is awesome.
http://messedupparentingtips.wordpress.com/
My one professor is black and he has a metal water bottle, but he went to Yale…
My one professor is black and has a metal water bottle, but he went to Yale…
Step up in style and quality from the plastic sippy cup. All SIGG bottles are tested 100-percent safe with NO leaching. All SIGG bottles are durable
what did all these yuppies and do nothing generation x-er’s do before water bottles. drink tap water. bottled water is a complete rip-off, it is from a pubic water source anyway-like aquavagina. also, what about all those plastic bottles and pollution-where’s the solution to the green-evolution? bottled water did not survice in europe because people there are smart, people in usa are dumb and fall for anything.
oland Spring 24 packs 2 for $10 ALL DAY!
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
so everyone who isn’t white loves to drink flouride/chlorine and other such toxins that you find in standard tap water, that shit is desgined to kill organisms, even if your black your still a freaking organism!
tap water tastes nasty with dirt and grime! if you really have a problem with white people drinking bottled water then you should go to the filtration plants and give them a piece of your mind so you can be happy that no white person will ever drink bottled water again.
read #64. it’s called recycling…as in..plastic!
I filter my tap because if i dont it tastes nasty. I had to bitch at my boyfriend for drinking fiji water because its fricken expensive but that didnt stop me from tasting. Damn that water for being superior in quality, i inspected the bottle and it says it has silica. whatever that mineral is, they say it is key in this water’s wonderful feeling in your mouth.. lol ..it does feel awesome.
yeah but plastic degrades over time and everytime it is recyceled a portion is completely burned off and is wasted. metal, on the other hand, is an element and can be recyceled over and oer again and it will always be the same amount. take it from me, im white.
metal is not an element, sherlock.
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on expensive bottled water.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
most bottled water is tap water. besides, bottled water tastes beter because it is cold. try chilling your tap water.
lol
Siggs are made in China. Take that into account. Think twice about products made in China. I’m not saying that to be racist. Are there stainless steel re-usable bottles made in USA?
i had to get the pur water filter, cause we live a mile down from a plant and we have well water..
as in responce to getting a sigg bottle or something like that, nah we just drink it outta a cup
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Fiji is definitely horrible for the world. The water has to be shipped from Fiji! So basically it has to cross almost the entire Pacific, then trucked to the store before being consumed by someone.
Tap water is transported from its source by pressure in the pipes. This is a millions times more efficient than trucking bottled water.
So if you justify your bottled water drinking by saying “I recycle the bottles”, I’m sorry it just doesn’t cut it.
Aquafina and Dasani are filtered tap water anyway so you might as well filter it yourself and save some $$$.
Much of the rural sections of Fiji, like other under-developed countries doesn’t have running water. I mean, to have tap water flowing to your kitchen! Whether to do dishes, cook meals and clean the kitchen, let alone for consumption. I’m not a bottled water fan, but had Arrowhead before…and the best way to save $ is buy a bicyclist plastic bottle.
The bottled water fads began in France, where the spring water brands like Perrier, and in Italy with Pellegrino tastes very different. Dasani and Aquafina has no similar benzene or volcanic geyster taste, therefore you might well drink out of a garden hose. Sou. Cal. thought it’s the best way to save water in a dry desert climate, except Arrowhead. +
Poland Spring, where the Poles swim after their wedding ritual: they jump in Lake Polack. The Poles are considered white people and Europeans, not to yuppie snobs fearing the drive in a Polish neighborhood, but sto lat and drink up! +
Soda pop, but their teeth fell out like loose stucco from a wall foundation. Anyone of you heard of…got milk? Once the rich drank wine and liquors in fear of contaminated water…before chlorination in public tap water began. +
LOL! God spelled backwards is Dog, time to kneel down and worshp thy rover. WOOF! About spring water sources, the closet spring water sources to Los Angeles, San Francisco and pretty much the whole state is Crystal Spring west of Bishop in the vicinity of Mount Whitney, the highest point in the contigous 48…and yeah, I left out Denali, Alaska. +
Sparkletts has wells dotted across L.A., Long Beach, Santa Ana, San Bernardino and Ventura, they seem to dominate the local specialty water industry. The water cooler guys in your office, and some people rather have a Sparkletts jug at home. I’m sure it’s also a waste of money. +
What’s more prevalent in “ghettos” & poor neighborhoods is the quarter-per-jug (or is it a dollar?) water machines in front of convenience stores. In these areas, the apartment projects or 1920’s-era bungalow homes have corroding tap water drain pipes. It’s said to be cheaper to repair them, instead of buying bottled water of any kind, and the cost of monthly tap water bills…is this American poverty, not able to pay the public/city water bill?+
Olde 40 E and Kool aid, uh huh…black people don’t drink water huh? Ha ha ha (sarcasm). I heard tons of jokes on black people drink store-brand sodas, and Mexicans or American Indians alike are hooked (and drunk) on corona beers & tropical wine coolers, and if they consume water it’s from a bathroom toilet. Black people don’t get portrayed too poor to drink from toilets…hhmm, in poor taste. +
what happened to drinking tap water; it was fine for those boomers, and everyone else. enough of the candy-asses drinking bottled water–it is a scam. in europe bottled “water” flopped b/c they are much smarter than the avg. dumb american to fall for toilet water, or derrier water. it is amazing to find american with IQ above 65!
I use a metal re-fillable bottle. I’m out of the house usually about 12 hours a day, and sometimes don’t find myself near a kitchen that has a tap and a glass. It’s nice to have water with me that I didn’t pay for and that didn’t come in a plastic bottle from a far-off country. I’m white, but I don’t think this is a white thing, as much as it’s a common sense thing.
well i dont see any other races using them, so are you implying that only you folks have common sense? why dont you step outside our borders and take a look at how other people in different countries live, most don’t drive cars like if petroleumn was abundant (and i can go on and on about how much more more efficient than U.S. the rest of the world lives)…talk about common sense.
Don’t forget the companies that sell bottled water to support children without water. Nothing says white like supporting a charity, following trends AND destroying the planet while eating an organic spirulina bar. Writing for http://StuffRichPeopleLove.com means I see some ridiculous stuff but fortunately rich people don’t flock to bottled water, they prefer glass!
Check our site out, all of the games are awesome!
why do I use so many names? I wanted to keep my beloved Micheal D. name untouched, but those nigras got to me.
Yoink
yoink
yoink
my name is soiled forever. +
I’m such an asshole. +
Y-0-I-N-K!
my IQ is 125 and im a 19 year old female minority. how you like them apples?
Hilarious.
I wonder if these bottles will fit up my ass.+
The only reason I use a Brita filter is because the tap water in my apartment tastes funky.
I live in southern California, and our tap water is really basic and has all sorts of nasty in it, so a filter is a pretty good idea. Tap water is much better on the East Coast, I don’t understand why people still buy filters there.
I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com(the MTV VJ) and must say it is just as funny!!
Did this guy make StuffJewishPeopleLike.com too?
In my balzac, or I think I have a hernia, can you check it…
http://www.brainbooger.com/2/post/2009/09/twilight-part-6.html
clearly you are the *wrong* kind of white person
Geologists knew tap water in dry warm climates are from under the ground, exposed to certain layers of rock known to affect the taste of water. I wonder that’s a result of most of Cal. tap water is flouridated or over-chlorinated.
“99 bottles of Fiji water on the wall, 99 bottles of Evian…take one down and pass it around, now there’s 98 bottles of Perrier on the wall”.
“99 hard dicks in my ass, , 99 hard dicks…take one down and pass it around, now there’s 98 dicks in my ass”.+
I think this article is great, but the problem is, is that there is still a large carbon footprint involved with buying metal bottles and water filters. Many resources are used to make metal bottles, and water filters almost always have a size-able amount of plastic to them, and their packaging. I have seen this new product, that is revolutionary. It’s from a company called NaturallyIowa, and it has the smallest Carbon Footprint I’ve seen to date. It is pure spring water housed in a completely compost-able, biodegrade-able bottle made 100% from plants. Even the packaging is completely biodegrade-able. Plus, the water has won numerous accolades on taste. I haven’t tried it just yet, I don’t think they are going to start selling to the general population for another month or so, but it sounds like it’s going to be the best thing on the market.
GOTS ta get me one!!
Does drinking Brita count as tap water? Do I really need an aluminum bottle? Being white is harder than I thought! Fortunately, writing for StuffRichPeopleLove.com makes decisions like water simple. Find the most expensive spring water, put it in a designer bottle, fly it around the world and charge more per oz than fine French wine. Perfectly sane!
Do everyone a favor and study English before you try to speak it.
most tap water tastes really disgusting
This is a whole new level of “white-ness.”
Most bottled water is tap water.
be really cool and super hip. distill your own damned water. then boil it again and add chlorine to kill the virus you sneezed on it.
it’s good. tastes like chicken soup without the salt.
Get a life quit sitting on it moron
Stick it in your ear for a while
Yes, some is filtered tap water, especially in places like the sub-continent where they prefer to have the heck filtered out of it to ensure its safe…check the sales there of mineral water vs ‘filtered tap water’. But the overwhelming majority isn’t!
Check your bottle of water to see what is in it (mineral content etc..), as for your tap water, it’s anyone’s guess what it has in it…all you know is that you probably won’t get seriously ill from it most of the time! good result!
I’ve been around the world a bunch of times, and I can assure you nobody takes better care of their water supply than America does. I’m old enough to remember when the idea of selling water was so ridiculous nobody considered it. The rise in popularity of hysterical environmentalism, and organic nonsense could be a very good thing, for a savvy business man. What do you think about, ‘a big can of cool fresh mountain air’. Maybe with a hint of evergreen in it? You know, for a healthy, no calorie pick me up in mind and spirit during the long day, or maybe while sitting on the bus in traffic. Think I could get a buck a can for it?
Or maybe a tube of ‘essence of fungus’, just smear a little under your nose, to get a whiff of mother earth, to center you and ground you during the day. Maybe in an assortment of colors to let others know and be envious of your special connection with the planet. Perhaps a deep rich brown or earthy black, maybe even a deep purple. Perhaps even in citrus scents and rainbow colors for the fruitier ones among us. With and without glitter. Perhaps with recycled gender nuetral packaging. I gotta stop brainstorming out loud. All of these ideas are patent pending so don’t even try it.
I’ve made my own beer recycling device. It takes all the impurities out and whats left is completely sterile. Still working on a test group to improve the taste. Everything about my product is reusable. You unbutton the container pull out the spiggot, drink it warm from the tap or fill a container for refrigeration. Just fill with beer, the better the beer the better the taste of the final product. Its great for camping, sporting events, the beach, dinner parties. Its pleasing to look at, fits comfortably in your girlfriend, and is better than a sports car with the ladies. I call this remarkable invention ‘Mycock’. Get your hands on one today!
I think this one should be removed from the list or at the very least, revised.
I live in a trendy, affluent and predominantly white neighborhood and most people I talk to are decidedly against bottled water.
Claims that bottled water is toxic to humans and the environment are conventional wisdoms. Claims that chemical dioxins from the plastic can cause cancer in humans or that the plastic bottles are polluting our landfills along with the mass amounts of fossil fuel burned in order to ship the product is a popular conversation piece among white people.
I often hear white people proudly show off their kitchen sink, which not only contains the regular faucet but also a faucet that magically produces filtered purified water. The person receiving the tour of said kitchen faucet is quick to boast about their Britta filtered water pitchers.
If your feeding off an artesian well like here in Memphis, tap water is just as good as bottled water. Aquafina even gets its water from here.
Yes, I am a true believer in “Mycock”, I take a mouth full of it every night. I highly recommend it.
A true standard in comedy blogging.
Another great site is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
Fiji, Evian, Voss, Perrier…usually what I drink. Unless I fill up one of my two Klean Kanteen bottles with the filtered ionized water I have at home. 🙂 Yes I’m totally white.
Evian, Voss, Fiji, Perrier, Vitamin Water, iWater, Smart Water. Any brand name water, I’ll drink. Unless, of course, I’m filling up one of my two Klean Kanteens with the filtered, ionized water I get at home. Yes, I’m totally white. This blog is incredibly accurate! 🙂
I’ve been to many of those countries and I didn’t notice a mindset that said conserve anywhere I ever went, except here in America. Different cultures just do things different, and many places either didn’t have it, or people just flat couldn’t afford it.
America is a consumer society. I do always get a kick out of some liberal nutcase lecturing me on humanity and the environment, drinking a plastic bottle of water that they carry with them everywhere. Liberal hypocrisy is just astounding.
You got that right. I remember back in the 70’s when they first tried to sell bottled water. It was a joke. I think we all know liberals aren’t very well grounded in reality. This is a very rich environment for the savvy business man.
I’m currently kicking around several ideas for the next big thing. Knowing liberals I think there is a huge untapped market for fresh mountain air imported from France or something, maybe I’ll call it merde. I’ll have to get a block of govm’t cheese so I can get a liberal focus group together for a lot of my testing and market research.
You must be Asian, however you didn’t say one way or the other anything about bottled water. well…. enquiring minds wanna know, how does the genius creamy Asian girl feel about bottles of water?
The only reason I don’t always drink tap is because it either doesn’t get cold enough, or it tastes like bleach. I grew up on well water and spring water, I hate the taste of bleach in city water. Luckily, my tap water is decent.
Filters are good to use if you live in a place with bleachy nasty water. Bottled water just tastes like water to me…and not as good as my old well water.
Hello. My name is Samara. I am 16 years old. That is, if I was alive. I’ve died intoxicated by tap water. You see, I and my family were always white (my parents are still alive) but my mom started to feel guilty about her color and tried to do, let’s say, colored thing so she’d fell less white. All white people deal with this at least once in their lives. Luckly it’s just temporary. But in my case, the brief time in which my mom did those stupid things, she made me drink tap water. I couldn’t make it. And, what is worse, I died with a terrible taste in my mouth.
If that was sarcasm, than you are hilarious.
IF you actually did it to feel pity, than thats just SAD.
This site is killer diller.
Here’s another good one: http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
such a good white response
Haha, FTW
Well water always tastes like rotten eggs to me, in Maine and in Southern Cal. Bleh.
LOL as i drink from my white roomates PUR water filter hahahaha he said all this when telling me why he got it
looks like a swiss designed water bottle which white people also enjoy!
how white does this pass for?
MY office PROVIDES bottled water, rather than drinking a new bottle every time i want water; i re use the plastic bottles (for about a month) using tap water.
Am i gaining respect w/o even noticing it? Important to mention my direct supervisor isnt white, does this even get noticed?
You sir, have won the key to my heart. May I mount you on my Yakima?
awesome.
I have actually noticed a significantly large majority of Asians drinking solely from bottled water over other ethniciteis. I really think this should go on the”Stuff Asian people like” list.
I have actually noticed a significantly large majority of Asians drinking solely from bottled water over other ethnicities. I really think this should go on the”Stuff Asian people like” list.
I actually have noticed a significant majority of bottled water users being Asian over other ethnicities. I really think this should go on the “Stuff Asian people like” list.
if you’re a white person, or any other race/ethnicity, in Stockton, CA you wouldn’t dare drink out of an unfiltered tap. kirkland water bottles for me…or filtered water from my green, metal npr bottle my gf gave me. pretentious much?
Well, since Tim posted three times in a row about the Asians using bottled water most, I think this should then go on the “Stuff Threeasians Like” list
Gimme back my bottle !!!
What ??? no nipple ??????
As a non-white person, this deserves a promotion to #1 on the list in my book. Can someone please explain to me why white people are always so dehydrated? No offense, but it’s like y’all can’t go an hour without whipping out another bottle, huge cup, or infamous metal bottle of water. Seriously, are you experiencing constant thirst or something? Maybe I just can’t relate, I really never get that thirsty. I rarely drink anything outside of meal time, and I am fine–my kidneys work just as well as yours. My white boss whips herself into a frenzy any time I attempt to start a meeting if there are no bottles of water in the room. If I hear the phrase “Can we get some bottles of water in here…” one more time, there will be blood. I make six figures, I don’t go fetch water for white people for whom thirst is a fashionable choice, not a biological imperative. And it is an hour meeting, I think you’ll live. I am genuinely asking because I do not understand this level of yearning or thirst. Sincerely, A Black Person
It’s probably oncoming diabetes. one of the symptoms is extreme thirst.
It’s somewhat healthy for you to drink water even when you’re not thirsty.
Drinking water is good for you, and white people love doing anything that is good for them.
I love water, honestly, though my black friend is the one with the ever-present bottle of water, not me. So it’s not just white people.
And if I was drinking out of a bottle of water and you said anything to me about carbon foot print or aboriginal blood, I would give you a dirty look and walk away. I would definitely not be doing you ANY favors, thank you.
Excuse me but you are mistaken in a lot of what you say. I am black and I carry water wherever I go. If you research you will find that when a person has lost the ability to be thirsty it means that they are dehydrated and the body no longer desires water. if the body is over 80% water then why would you not want to replace it. many people are misdiagnosed by doctors because they are simply dehydrated. please, for your own health and well-being, start drinking more water. but not tap water because it is loaded with toxins.
If by toxins, you mean minerals, then yes. And besides most bottled water is tap water that they purified slightly. Not enough to make it completely clean but to lose the essential minerals.
Preach it girl. I hear you, i’m going to fill up my water bottle with filtered water right now. I hate being thirsty all the time.
Yep, and I’m sure all of the waiters getting 20% tips really hate it – ask the Waiter Rant guy.
Get yer, “sick of me yet?” gear here!!
http://www.cafepress.com/rightwingstuff/7233074
xDDD
Individual use of plastic water bottles has become a multi-billion dollar industry. but there is a serious cost to our planet and animals. Even our tap water inst good enough anymore with the addition to Chlorine. Chlorine is the greatest crippler and killer of modern times. While it prevents epidemics of one disease, it was creates another. To learn more about bottled water, and to find out what’s in your tap water, please check out my blog. http://www.gogreenwaterfilter.com/apps/blog/
if you like this blog, check out http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!
Ha Ha, maybe you could look at Flouride and what it has been doing for years and years.
“it was creates another” do what?
white grammar thing? no!
It falls out of the sky, drink it, don’t drink it, just stop the emissions caused by shipping it everywhere!
Tap water tastes like crap because it’s a tepid 50 degrees or so all year round. I prefer cold water, so I keep a jug in the refrigerator.
Screw the fancy water filters and expensive jugs though. I bought a plastic gallon milk jug full of commercially purified water back in 2003, I think it was. I’ve been refilling the same cheap disposable jug from the tap ever since.
Not all white people are insane when it comes to water, although I guess I’m going to take a hit for being too good to drink it lukewarm straight from the tap.
I did recently switch from water bottles to metal ones…
we are using plastic kitchen faucets at home because they are very cheap and you can easily replace them if they broke *-`
Come to find out the plastic water bottles are leeching chemicals into our filtered water! Always try to buy glass if you can…
I would like to point out that whether you agree that we should help the environment by cutting down on waste or not, drinking bottled water is an insanely huge waste of MONEY. A lot more people are obsessed with money than the environment, but for some reason bottled water continues to sell. Even if you have a Brita or PUR filter, you’ll still save yourself a huge amount of money every year by ditching bottled water.
And if you keep buying it, obviously I can’t stop you. But man, I bet you would find it nice to have all that extra money!
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I drink from a plastic bottle that I refill directly from the tap. Only reason I don’t just use a glass is that a bottle is sealable, and I never drink all of it at once. It’s just more practical. If I know that I’ll be able to empty a glass right away then that’s what I’ll use.
Hmm, I guess I’m not as white as I thought I was.
Also, those metal bottles are completely impossible to drink of! The hole is so small and awkwardly shaped that, unless your mouth completely covers the opening, the water will just get everywhere. White people are retarded.
I am white and drink bottled water because the water that comes out of my tap smells like javex bleach.
I am a cancer survivor and believe water with clorine in it kills.
You’re an idiot.
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
]]
I completely agree, tap water is gross. It is chock full of chlorine and sometimes they even add industrial grade fluoride in the name of “teeth” which is total bunk, provides no benefit to teeth when you put it in the water. Careful though! Some bottled water is more contaminated than the public water so make sure to go with a brand that does rigorous and consistent testing and makes those results readily available to consumers. My favorite is Evian from the French Alps. Yes I pay to not drink poison and I’m not apologizing for it!
PS I ALWAYS recycle my plastic bottles, always always always
It’s better than drinking sink water (toilet water) ya bum
That’s why you get a brita filter. Occasionally replacing the filter (about every 2 months) is way cheaper than buying bottled water regularly. Most bottled water is just filtered tap water anyway.
I’ll Judo slap that water bottle right out of your hand using merely the might of my uncircumcised penis. Whaapp! (Better dry that off)
It seems you’re idiot? Evian is currently owned by Danone.. They’re the masters of any chemical imitation of something real. For example their famous yoghurt which is something far from milky product. Anyway continue to believe in these propagandas and spend a lot of money for bullshit. At some point you can try to isolate yourself in sterile room and restrict any contact with the real world
I myself represent a company that sells promotional products. I must admit that this article has provided me with some valuable info to think about. You’ve done an impressive job, buddy! 😉
Although I firmly understand the intention of this website is one of a satirical nature, I believe it ‘gives off’ the wrong types of impressions. This website relays information that can be true of all races, diversities, and cultures. Singling out white people is extremely detrimental to our race and this website can be used to ‘stereotype’ them in the wrong types of ways.
Oh, you’re a clever one.
You should update this post. Everyone knows that the most elite white people are now drinking only water that they drive for three hours to harvest themselves from a natural spring. (See my url)
Thanks for this information,,I must admit that this article has provided me with some valuable information to think about. You’ve done an impressive job.
Oh bottled water
aboriginal blood’
Where I live (Switzerland, where Sigg is from) kids have those bottles to take on school outings (meaning: we go hiking).
Adults don’t really use them, unless they go hiking.
Which basically most stereotypical Swiss people do.
You mean like we have done for centuries about everyone that isn’t white?
Maybe I am just too white but the use of bottles of water infuriates me! Once in awhile you don’t have a choice but buy a bottle of water i.e. if you are traveling. However bottle water is an unnecessary waste of our nature resources here in America. Plastic is primarily made from petroleum which we get from the Gulf Countries. Maybe gas prices could go down if we didn’t use more than 1 billion barrels of oil are used to make plastic bottles! The best way to conserve resources is not to use the unnecessary ones in the first place!
I am a big time trucker, I use empty bottles to piss in, then I toss them out the window, then I go to my trailer and reek.
You hippies will get a kick out of this: I work for a company that works in a lot of isolated and remote places all over the world. The current site I am at has no potable water at all, so we import bottled water. I’ve been here almost a year with an entire mobile workforce of about 1,000 people and all we drink is bottled water. We go through pallets of it, probably 100 pallets a week. I myself drink 2-3 cases a week. Just think of us when you’re recyclilng. =D
Hahaha, another entry that is right on the nose. I’ve always wondered why my fellow white people don’t drink out of the tap and they usually come up with an answer of how nasty, dirty, terrible the tap water is. As if we lived in a country that had water sanitation issues.
And then you got into refillable water bottles and water filters and I had to admit that I do this (and for the reasons you listed). It’s funny to see us called out for our bullshit.
At least they don’t put Koolaid into those refillable bottles
There are a lot of MM thick legs are hereditary, they may be very thin elsewhere, but a pair of legs but also how fine for it, then you can choose a type of uggs ireland and long legs will hide.
An old post but I was reminded of it after learning about Dabbawala in India, other wise known in English English as a Tiffin Carrier or in American parlance a stackable metal lunchbox.
The actual system of Dabbawala is interesting enough in itself but the point is that it has all the hallmarks of stuff white people like and I think will be the next fad (I’m buying one right now as I type).
First its complicated. There are latches and whatever to make what should be as simple and mundane as a paper bag to carry your lunch as intricate as possible.
Second its expensive. Again in Paper Bag v. White People the paper bag is easily most cost effective than a $25 lunch box, not including the niffty cotton bag cover.
Third is obnoxiously health conscious. Its made of metal and half of the reviews all cite the use of stainless steel over plastic due to health concerns over BPA or plastic voodo in general. Plus what you pack can be as self righteous and healthy as you want.
Fourth its environmentally friendly. Eating out creates an enormous amount of waste that as a white yuppie you can thumb your nose at. But wait, since the lunch box is the container you don’t even have to use Earth killing Ziplock bags or even disposable utensils (the advertised alternative is made of bamboo; highly sustainable). Some white people even suggest putting take out in a Tiffin Carrier as to avoid Styrofoam even when you do eat out.
Fifth and sixth is that its old and culturally unique and arguably European. Tiffin’s were used by the British in India over a hundred years ago.
i cannot deny, i am looking for a tiffin carrier to buy, right this minute after reading your post.
Because it is a widely known fact that large quantity’s of fluoride is found in your average tap water,consuming tap water for a few decades would severely decrease your iq.
I actually bring my own containers to restaurants for leftovers.
It’s not that weird.
ah, so that is where my iq went! And here I thought it was because I ate all my fruits and vegetables like my mother conned me into doing for all those years…
Speaking of India, it’s actually downright dangerous to drink tap water in some parts of Asia. That’s how you get cholera, isn’t it? Even brushing my teeth with that stuff is a bit icky (and got me a tooth infection, yay).
That being said, I’ve personally also found the tap water in the US kind of dodgy and bad for my health, so there’s that. It really depends on place. If you buy bottled water in the Netherlands, people think you’re weird because their tap water is really high quality.
As someone (who is white) who grew up in an inner city with some of the most polluted tap water in the nation (Wilmington, DE), I find it very amusing when white people think the tap water in their wealthy suburb is so bad. Get a Brita filter for God’s sake!
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This is a ridiculous website & topic. To call people out because they drink bottled water is pure ignorance. Sure, bottled water is not the safest to drink due to the plastic, but at the same time, there’s fluoride in tap water, as well as other harmful chemicals. Sure you may not notice it, but be aware of it at the least. Also, instead of callin out an entire race for being different, look at your own imperfections & work on being the best version of yourself instead of worrying about everyone else. Spread LOVE, not hate & separation. Change the name of this site to stuffhumanslike.com & be open minded 😉
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I live in a building in California full of mainland Chinese students. The amount of bottled water these goons drink (and the amount of German cars still with the factory sticker on it that they drive) is frickin’ insane. The dumpster is continuously full of water bottles – almost never in the actual recycling dumpster mind you. It’s mostly in the trash dumpster. Yay for English comprehension.
Me. I’m a white guy. I get water from the faucet, put it in a reusable bottle, and blast it full of bubbles with my soda stream doodad.
This is one of the most racist articles I’ve ever read. I drink Fiji not because my standards are higher than tap water, but because it contains silica, a natural mineral that you won’t find in tap water or most other bottled waters. Silica helps detox the metal build up from the body and brain which elimates brain fog and chances of getting a disease such as alzheimers and autism. I drink filtered tap water all the time, but every so often I drink Fiji water a couple weeks at a time. We live in a plastic world. You’re a hypocrite because I know for a fact you’ve purchased a food or beverage packaged in some sort of plastic. It’s people like you that the world is still the way it is.
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