If you meet a white girl with black hair, tattoos, and a passion for horror films, there is a 100 percent chance that she plays in some sort of Roller Derby league. The sport reached its height of popularity in the seventies, thus all but guaranteeing that white people would eventually resurrect it in a fit of nostalgia and irony. But the sport draws in white people for many other reasons, including funny costumes and the opportunity for women to compete under clever pseudonyms like Arianna Puffington and Sarah Nailin’.
Once a league forms, schedules are made, websites are put up, venues are booked, and tickets are sold. In all, it’s a testament to the incredible work ethic that white people have when it comes to a whimsical activity.
Should you choose to attend an event, you will be shocked at the sheer volume of mustaches and black rock-and-roll T-shirts, and the complete lack of anyone with a full-time job. When the activities start, the women will start skating around in a circle. There are rules and points and strategies, but at most Roller Derby matches the only people who seem to be aware of them are the people playing.
If you know someone who plays on a Roller Derby team, you should treat them like a white person who does improv. Encourage them in their efforts, but make it clear that you will not pay money to watch their hobby.
Whiter Shades of Pale: The Stuff White People Like, Coast to Coast from Seattle’s Sweaters to Maine’s Microbrews, coming 11/23 and now available for pre-order!
Stuff White People Like 
I don’t totally agree with you whole notion that derby dolls don’t have full time jobs. If you look at the teams that make up WFTDA (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) most of the women are professionals with Bachelor’s, Master’s, and PhD degrees. Their demographics actually run the gamut from the unemployed student, to the highly educated professor of said student. They are also made up of numerous ethnic backgrounds. You might want to do a little better research before you stereotype and try to mislead the public.
Normally SWPL makes me laugh my ass off but this post is totally inaccurate. While roller derby may be a predominantly white sport (true, our league contains three black women, at least one Hispanic [that’s me] out of approximately 80 women), every single one of the women on my team is employed or in school as are most of our fans.
Exceptionally so, there are three PhD’s and one dentist, a nurse, a teacher, a librarian, a college student, another PhD Candidate, a technical recruiter, and accountant, a paralegal, a construction project manager and I’m sure I’m forgetting something else.
It’s true, as I work with high paid attorneys, they often look at me with that sideways confused puppy look. Or the look that says, “why would you do something so lowbrow”. I gently convince them to attend our bouts.
They are blown away by the athleticism required to play derby. They are immediate converts to the sport. Despite your contrary statement calling it a “hobby”. Our league alone, contains an extraordinary number of former college athletes, a couple gals who were close to Olympic-level speedskaters and a host of other tremendously physically fit people.
Our leagues are businesses, run by capable and tech savy people. We make a little money doing what we do and donate a large portion of our proceeds to charities on an almost monthly basis. 1000’s of people attend our sold out bouts every season. If this were hobby I hardly doubt you may see that kind of turnout at a bout.
While we may not be professional athletes with lucrative and often obscene contracts for equipment and cereal, we are athletes in the truest sense. I challenge and NBAer, NFLer or NHLer to come strap on some skates and attempt to play. I’d challenge anyone who calls this sport a hobby to strap on some skate, a helmet and protective gear to give it a try.
Roller derby isn’t just for the hipster set anymore, though there are plenty of poseurs who will soon be weeded out as the sport become more and more competitive. 10000 women didn’t strap on skates last year for the first time because they wanted a new “hobby”.
In three short weeks, The Women’s Flat Track Derby Association Nationals will be held in Chicago IL. 10,000 or so people may converge on this one city to see some of the best teams in the country compete for bragging rights. Good luck to those women. You are making the sport of roller derby more legit and mainstream everyday. And something more than just white people like.
SooKee Tsujimoto #916
Queen City Roller Girls
Buffalo, NY
Accusing the “Stuff White People Like” Blog of stereotyping?
Never!
Don’t expect the comedy blog to get facts right, this isn’t The Daily Show.
-Ex Derby Player/Ref
The women I know who play fit this physical description.
My favorite participant, however, is “Derby Husband.”
The whole look at me generation is so rehashed and non inventive… Tattoos included…
Comedy site or not, misleading information often leads to prejudices. It is our responsibility as human beings to be accepting of differences in others. If you don’t understand something, go learn about it. Derby is a hard and physically demanding sport. Not just something white people like…
Ssssoooo much more that could have been said about derby. Drama, kids, slutty costumes….Either way it was funny and I shall send it to all my derby peoples.
Ex-Derby Ref
If someone takes you on the challenge, you should play their sport too, to see how good are you in it too.
Leave it with the full time job thing! There are so many worse thing that could be brought up about derby haha. Drama, kids, slutty costumes, bitches, alcohol….Either way it was funny and I shall send it to all my derby peoples.
Ex-Derby Ref
Idots… it’s a joke.
Ok folks…cool the jets…because all the stuff he says about hipsters is so incredibly accurate and wouldn’t lead to any prejudices being made?
Take a deep breath and remember it’s all tongue in cheek humor for some good fun.
Roller derby is like NASCAR. Lots of left turns and an undeserved belligerence that it’s a “real” sport. And, as it would appear, the same amount of professionalism and ethnic diversity.
Some jokes aren’t funny. Like calling the girls of WNBA “nappy headed” The women and men (yes men play too) are dedicated athletes who do it for the love of the SPORT.
“Good fun” really? You must think dressing up in sheets and burning crosses equals “a swell evening”..
Get an education.
“Should you choose to attend an event, you will be shocked at the sheer volume of mustaches and black rock-and-roll T-shirts, and the complete lack of anyone with a full-time job.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It’s so so so so so so true!
This is pretty hilarious, and I hope people can enjoy the joke without denying the whiteness/hipsterness of the sport OR denying the legitimacy of the athleticism.
If you’re still feeling all HULK SMASH about it:
1) it just shows how much work there is to do in player and audience outreach
2) take it out on the track 😉
I’m a white guy who HATES the new iteration of Roller Derby. Went to an LA show, upcharged so that I could actually sit down once I got in (FAIL) and it came with a flea market of hipster crap that made the place look like a Silverlake area goth mall.
People sucked, no one really interested in the match, just making the scene.
It SUCKED!
Don’t go.
Ms. Humor,
I’ll give you $50 if you can make it through a 3 hour practice and still say it’s not a REAL sport!!!
so my friend always bugs me to go to her derby matches…i hate it cause it costs $10 and i really boring…and it is exactly as this describes it. yet i still attend cause i get dirty looks when i turn down the “offer.’
-the end-
Aw, SWPL is missing out on all the fun! Roller Derby is a blast to play and watch. This was a funny entry, but I really hope it won’t discourage anyone from having one of the best times of their lives!
Roller Girl, you owe me $50.
cosigned!
Actually, if I charge you per formal practice I attended – I think you owe me somewhere closer in the vicinity of let’s see… carry the 2…
$46,800
Not including bouts, reffing, volunteering, or being a board member.
Seriously, if you could pay me that, it’s like a quarter of my yearly salary and I would just LOVE a three month vacation.
Again.
I’ve been involved in Roller Derby as a player and coach for four years now. And guess what? I’m not white! *gasp* Oh, and i have a full time job! And a family! Oh my GOD! While several of the girls I have played with and coached are stay at home moms, Most are like me: Hard working, dedicated, and in love with this sport. And if you don’t believe this isn’t a sport, I challenge you to come to Seattle and skate one of my practices. I promise to change your mind.
This article brought to you by: A Future Derby Widow
(Anyone else cringe at the wheels in the picture?) :]
See, SWPL is normally funny because it’s just *almost* true. You can read the majority of the entries and laugh because it’s almost right ion the button. This entry is just… off.
Full disclosure – I’m only commenting because I’m a derby girl… but I’m one that has no problem poking fun at myself. There are so many things you can make fun of, but you just missed all of them and made up a bunch of stuff that is really more imaginary than based in truth.
yours,
Asian/brown haired/untattoed/skater with a clever name.
I’m a sports photographer who’s specialized in roller derby for 4 years now. While many new leagues are focused on the spectacle and scene like you describe here, as leagues mature (2-3 years old) they tend to start swaying moving more & more towards the athletic.
The North Star Roller Girls in Minneapolis, my home league, are a good example. Five years ago they began in a rink with pink lights and rock ‘n’ roll blasting from the speakers. Today, league bouts are fast, exciting, brightly-light sports events attended by a wide cross-section of the public. We get moms, dads, kids, teens, and adults of every age. When they get in their seats, they are *riveted* on the action, and the cheering crowd (often 2,000 or more) is often deafening.
Derby as performance art? Maybe some. But the women *I* know playing derby are athletic rockstars who are changing the world and inventing one of the coolest sports I’ve ever seen.
I love when a piece of satire brushes the fur the wrong way on a group. Great fun. As a leg man, I love derby. Any sport that integrates fishnets and thigh-high socks with athleticism can’t be all bad.
Yeah, I’m with K… most of the other articles are hilarious for being spot-on with their commentary. But derby? This isn’t derby. This is … something else.
It’s the equivalent of slamming firemen for all those girls who are going to wander around in the “sexy firebabe” costumes for Halloween. One is not the other…
So many funny things can be said about derby. Seriously. I play it. We ARE walking stereotypes a lot of the time.
But this just feels like lazy comedy, mostly because it’s all so wrong. Bummer. This could have been a lot funnier (I’m thinking of the Yoga post…)
I went to a roller derby match in massachusetts and there were almost no umemployed band t-shirt wearing youths in the crowd (I think you mean “hipsters”). it was mostly old townie dudes and normal, suburban families. there was even a little girls’ birthday party going on.
usually SWPL is hilarious and spot on on, but this reads like the author watched Whip It and thought it would be a good basis for the entire article, instead of going to a real roller derby bout.
God damn… have some self-awareness, people… and maybe pull the stick out of your butts, ya’ humorless bastards
Honestly, I imagine this post was written after seeing a bout at Providence Roller Derby and / or Pioneer Valley Roller Derby, and thought it was hilariously accurate.
I mean, seriously. Pioneer Valley. The Northampton, MA crowd. I’ve seen their merch in Faces. Half their skaters sport dreads and vampire tans. You just… you just can’t get more hipster than that.
And Providence… the WBRU sponsored league with more lesbian hipsters than you could shake a stick at? Rosie the Riveter as a mascot? Old Money Honeys? After parties at Tazza? I haven’t been in a while, but pretty sure the biggest hipsters in hipsterland comprise their BOD.
Tell you what, if you’re on a league that formed before 2008… stop your bellyaching and make fun of your hipster WFTDA sisters and don’t take it so personal. You should be able to remember all the asshole scummy punk hipsters who wanted to be all “subculture” in the beginning.
Those of you who are all, “I love this blog but now that you made fun of what I think is me, I’m mad!” – just stop. There’s a derby world outside yours, a history that predates Ellen Page, and a reputation older than Bea Arthur for being big on theatrics in derby. You’re just making the whole, “derby girls are man-hating wrestlers on wheels” stereotype seem all the more plausible with your lack of humor and “Say that on the track at practice!” posturing.
A little scant…but funny.
Funny, I have a masters degree and a full time job. Yet I watch and play roller derby…..
Wow SWPL really hit a nerve with this one. Reminds me of the post about being offended. Sounds to me like many of you only like SWPL when it’s others that are being made fun of. Bonus points for the poster that actually drew a parallel to the KKK… that’s impressive. Grow up people.
Christian, I am picturing you buying a newspaper or a cup of coffee on a street corner, going about your day when you suddenly hear the sound of TEN THOUSAND WHEELS roaring in your direction.
I am impressed by your ability to increase your threshold for white rage with every post.
I bet the people who were offended by this post also get their real news from the Onion and/or FOX.
apparently, i have a 100 percent chance of playing roller derby, which is good because i do. i’m laughing as i am a black haired, tattooed, horror fan and lo and behold, i am a white person. you nailed that one right on the head for me. and ladies, come on now. it is pretty funny, especially if you’ve been around a lot longer than maybe the past year or so because there were a lot more black haired, tattooed horror fans around then. don’t be butthurt about SWPL poking a little fun. if you can’t laugh at yourself, well, lighten up a bit.
and as far as it being a hobby, well, none of us are getting paid, so it is still a hobby to an outside. most of us devote so much time to it, that we think of it almost the same way we would a career. a lot of people just don’t understand. and they never will. so again, stop with the being butthurt.
with that being said, i think the poke at the fans is a little unfair. not everyone going are hipsters. there are plenty of older generation fans with jobs who enjoy the sport and actually get it. they cheer at the appropriate times and boo when they think there was legitimately a bad call. and it’s hard to not have fun when the admission price is about the same as going to a show, often includes a good band playing, and has cheaper beer than going to a bar. (not *all* leagues are like this, but at least mine is.) if it were just hipsters going, we wouldn’t have crowds. hipsters are too finicky of a crowd to keep entertained for longer than a year or so.
Derby Girl, don’t you dare head to the Murrieta valley in Southern Cal. and try to beat their local amateur teams. White people everywhere…or a bunch of cookie-cutter clone blond-dyed-hair, blue-contact-lens, suntanned, botox-frozen faces. I bet a mostly black team from the East side of Compton, the “Dominoes” beat the hella (that’s white California speak) Wildomar “Fightie Whities”.
NSI: According to you, I am a league of myself.
Do you know what that means?
This one-person league is 100% black-haired, brown-eyed, white, tattooed, unemployed, horror-movie loving, costume loving hipster who is currently wearing a Western-style shirt and sporting a pomp.
One thing: I don’t think they make a cookie cutter shaped like me, but if pressed I choose the reindeer! If I’m going to be one person taking on a lineup of 13 – I need some advantage.
And I accept your poorly guided challenge. I accept it, and will play you in my ironic trucker helmet. Hook me up with your interleague liason.
BORING! Sorry I wasted my time reading. Won’t make that mistake again.
I love derby people, I just wish they weren’t so thin-skinned and insecure. Things like the comment section of this post crack me up.
Really?? How many practices a week did you attend? Because if you attended 2 league practices a week (pretty standard) that means that you have played derby for 9 years!! Even if you attended 3 practices per week it means you would have played for 6 years.
So either you played with Austin since they first started, or you are full of it since the derby resurrection has only been around since 2004.
If you are telling the truth, it’s kind of sad you spent that much time on a sport you don’t consider real. What was the point?
Sorry–that was addressed to Ms. Humor.
I knew that there were going to be opinions and people who took this article too seriously. Lighten up! Jason F…thank you for this reaction! HAHA
This article is just lazy and inaccurate.
Q: What would you do if one of your roommate cooks really smelly ethnic food?
A: You fight domestic terrorism.
Laura and Zach – An advice blog that offers anything but.
http://lauraandzach.wordpress.com
Oh noes, I haz red hair. Derby Fail.
The modern incarnate of WFTDA roller derby and “derby-girl” has quickly moved away from this kind of SWPL fodder since 2004. (Now in 2004, it was pretty spot-on. Given.)
In 2010, derby continues towards gaining legitimacy as serious athletic sport, and this kind of tired sterotype is bound to rub people the wrong way. And so it has.
2010 WFTDA roller derby is a world-wide legitimate sport where these kinds of bad sterotypes haunt us as we try and work away from the stuff of 2004 (and SWPL fodder), and towards things more like the Olympics (and less like Ozzfest).
And if you just read “Olympics” and think it must certainly be a joke…. you’re more ignorant on the matter than you realize.
Tune in to Derby News Network’s free live feed for the WFTDA championships 2 weeks from now. You may be surprised at all the sterotypes you DON’T find.
“Encourage them in their efforts, but make it clear that you will not pay money to watch their hobby.”
Pure fucking prose. You guys are so on the money. Way to throw a rock at the beehive. HA!!
Some of y’all really need to pull the sticks out of your butts or order your booty shorts in a bigger size that won’t give you wedgies. People like you make derby a lot less fun than it could be. Who wants to be around people who take themselves so seriously or are so insecure in their ability that they cry foul over a silly blog post? I know I don’t want to deal with that for free, let alone pay for the “privilege” of dealing with it.
Welp, so long as everyone that plays roller derby remembers the golden rule: NO ONE GIVES A CRAP ABOUT ROLLER DERBY EXCEPT PEOPLE THAT PLAY ROLLER DERBY, then things can be kept in proper perspective.
IF roller derby ever becomes an Olympic sport, I will move to Coast Rica with Rush Limbaugh.
Some of you are losing your shit over nothing and its hilarious.
I highly doubt this will result in an increase of misconceptions or prejudices towards Roller Derby.
Wait, what sort of masters degree are we talking about here Katie?
Awesome! This is so true! Boy you really do know white people! I would never pay money to see it for sure.
Dear Amy,
don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
sincerely,
the KKK
HA HA HA
I find this posting pretty rude and filled with misconceptions about derby, especially that it is a “white people” thing. Say that to all the Mexicans, blacks, Asians, all myriad other ethnicities that play and pay to watch this SPORT, not “whimisical activity”. Hell, say it to Beyonslay and watch her lay you out on your ass for being so narrowminded.
Roller derby has nothing to do with who has the coolest tattoos or the blackest t-shirt. It’s about athleticism, challenging yourself and following your passions. Then again, if you don’t get it, I guess you aren’t meant to and we don’t want you around anyway. Just quit spreading falsehoods and get your damn story straight.
Lying about things you don’t understand is pathetic and just leads to trouble.
LMFAO.
@Scarlett, you really don’t click this, do you? Unwind please; I’m black but am not offended by any of it because I know it’s all tongue-in-cheek!
ALL sports are whimsical activities and hobbies (unless you’re a professional athlete who gets paid to perform your whimsical activity). I don’t see why roller derby is less of a sport than something like basketball or football.
There are a lot of girls with black hair, tattoos, and a love of horror movies in our league. Also at least for once this blog isn’t “stuff yuppy white people like” although it could be more funny
Wow. Could supposedly tough chicks act more emo about a blog post?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL LOL LOL! Scarlett, you really don’t get it.
I’m starting to enjoy the comments more than the actual blog.
I don’t know anyone who plays and I’ve never seen a game live, but I remember watching it on TV as a kid and thinking that this looked a lot more approachable than G.L.O.W.
The asshead whinypants responses are a perfect illustration of why Derby has become so lame. Remember when it was fun? Yeah, it was a loooong time ago. Now it’s a “sport”, you know, like Porfessional Wrestling. Humorless bitches, man… humorless bitches
The real hero here is Clander for writing an article that would create this much of a spirited discussion, on any topic. It is a very funny article and the comments are equally as entertaining. Nice job Clander.
It’s funny, literally. chill your dicks roller derby people. I am also a roller derby person and take my sport seriously, but I think this is a hilarious look on it. it’s someone NOT calling us brute lesbians for once. get the eff over this satirical article and also yourself.
All the degree-dropping (“I have a masters degree”), being-offended (“do your research before making fun of MY sport”), and otherwise proving of whiteness (“I’m an asian female with brown hair and no tatoos”) in these comments was quite a bit funnier than the article itself!
Precisely.
And for those of you who wanna swing your academia dicks around:
https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/03/04/81-graduate-school/
Roller derby is so 4 years ago.
Totally
Wait, stay at home moms aren’t hard working, dedicated or in love with the sport?
some still try to keep it fun, lighthearted, and entertaining. check out the Renegade leagues of AZ, Orange County, San Diego, and Oregon.
if youre interested 🙂
sure im white, and play derby, and it somehow gained the highest priority in my life.
but im also blonde, not so tattooed, getting a college degree and play other more socially recognized – reasons i could maybe get offended
but i think this is freakin hilarious
Shananagins #<3
Renegade Roller Girls of Orange County
No Holds Barred roller derby 🙂
Finally other people agree that the responses are as good as the post. Get over your level of education, race, job status, the validity of the sport and how dedicated you are.
I know plenty of people who love and hate RD, either way its not worth losing your shit over. Still I have to give it to you…y’all are some enthusiastic bitches.
I feel like I’m Austin.
Haha!
It’s all fun and games until people start making fun of your particular group.
People make fun of smart people. People make fun of athletes. People make fun of … white … people.
Welcome to the mainstream, roller derby.
I was with all the other stuff on this blog but THIS, I did not know. I must be losing touch with the REAL white people. =/
Awww man, in college I had such a crush on this girl from the local roller derby team.
Thanks for reminding me.
😦
“stuff that white people like” ????? what kinda bullshit is that? is it suddenly funny to identify folks by skintone and then try and be cute and ironic ? what the fuck are y’all thinking ? i will stop here, cuz i would much rather debate sweeping racial stereotypes in person where you would either run away scared or lose.
https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/05/28/101-being-offended/
Indeed. The feme-noid types seem to require much more research. As a space/time traveler speaking, I believe that the human females might require a little more research into how the 70’s/80’s almost turned into a Cold War ‘almost’ going Hotter than Warm. As an alien to this foreign nation of America, I feel that the whole tangledfuckingmess of ancient news and ancient politics is a bit of a local show first, and the distributed things go on through the tubes.
=13=
It always amazes me that this site has been around for almost 3 years and there are still people like “L” who are too dense and obtuse to get it.
To answer your question, L…
Yes. Yes, it is.
leave it to a white person to get all worked up over race. stereotypes are funny.
blacks eat fried chicken and okra, asians eat rice and bak choy whites eat shrimp scampi w aragula. see how funny and hilarious that was? hahahaha.
When I was drinking the derby kool-aid, I’d have been offended by this, even though it’s so true. That’s what makes it so funny, though!!!
Derby is an extremely fun sport, ruined by the assholes who make up the majority of its participants. If only they had the ability to enjoy life and poke fun at themselves (not just their own teammates), they’d realize there is nothing wrong with campy fun–that fun, in fact, trumps drama anyday!
But then, that would probably render all those Cure tattoos and Betty Page hairdos less meaningful.
Whatever, zombies rule.
What a fag.
wow. you have no clue what you’re talking about.
That was in reference to a particular commenter, but didn’t appear as a comment to them, so I retract it. It’s not in reference to the post, although there are some irritable things about it. 😉
dude whats happening? did you get the intern to write this one, very shoddy!
As a derby player, I am only offended because this post coulda been a lot funnier. I’m not even sure it’s worth linking on Facebook, tbh.
Still love you, tho, SWPL.
YOU SHOULD DO A POST ON HOW TO END THE WHITENESS
I love your blog! Just heard you on a Safran podcast very funny stuff keep it up mate!
Q: I’m having a quarter life crisis. What should I do?
A: http://www.lauraandzach.wordpress.com
Laura and Zach – An advice blog that offers anything but
this being white shit is getting harder by the day. has there been a post about hip white people gentrifying a neighborhood? if not its due time. get on that
http://chrisiswhyimskinny.blogspot.com/
Yes, it has been addressed under other titles.
I fell in love with Truckstop Trixie, but apparently she had a baby. Lots of lesbians in attendance.
Uhm… first time on your blog. (Probably the last also: no offense). What strikes me as odd (in a positive way) is that you criticise something by itself (using subtle, creative, witty humor as a tool to de-construct the very mentality that inbreeds it in the first place). I find this to be very curious, interesting, intriguing, and funny.
this is for the white trash people, trailer park unwashed scum. Take a fucking bath, oh white people now are saving water, try saving some money you dumb scumbags, your shitty country is fucking broke.
White people smell like wet dogs, are you all drinking from the toilet again?
Do these black-haired, tattooed, roller derby chicks exist anywhere outside of california or that crap tv show about black-haired, tattoed chicks. I’d like to date one.
This phenotype can be found outside of California in places such as Austin, TX and Bloomington, IN.
They do exist outside of California. There are some here in the Vancity and they are plenty burly. This is a sport I just cannot ‘get behind’, kind of like paintball.
Roller derby enthuasists in Boulder, Colo., Stowe, Vt. and Chapel Hill, NC, among the whitest cities in America filled to the seems of co-eds or preps, children of yuppies or bobos.
Purple hair and roller skating are so white, or you would think so if you never went to a roller rink in a black community.
All nostalgia is white too, my does an intellectual coward like you defend anything or do you just have this asshole “take the heat” attitude.
Your blog sucks and you’re just a nasty bully. Maybe if you weren’t so ignorant you’d be entertaining. You’re not even clever or funny.
Vermont? Oh man, watch out. I’m coming for you, Black Sabbatha.
All of the white people that I know who like Roller Derby are the wrong kind of white people. It seems to me to be very red neck oriented.
This is article was obviously written by the single most retarded racist I’ve ever encountered.. There is alot of variety in the derby community as it is an international sport and every team puts their hard earned money, along with their blood sweat and tears.. Most of the leagues end up giving proceeds from their events 2 charity anyway.. If you want 2 sterotype, I’d say you’re the type who would rather waste $500 on tickets 2 go watch Nascar and drop $50 on beer, but 2 cheep 2 pay 5 or 10 bucks 2 watch kick ass ladies go all out 2 help keep local teams and charities.. Go oink off..
Yes! I’m white and I LOVE Roller Derby!!
cheap, not cheep
I’m a Black Jeerleader for Roller Derby in St. Louis…GO ARCH RIVAL ROLLER GIRLS!!
White people like derby. It’s true. I love my White people and I love derby because of them!
GO WHITE PEOPLE!
GO DERBY!!
Wow. I really think whoever made this comment just wanted to be angry about something. We all know that roller derby is a tough sport- the players are athletes. And yes, they do alot of charity work, and they work their butt off. At no point in this article was any of that disputed. This website is based on the idea of COMEDY. It’s light hearted, and fun. Its not racist, its just silly. NOTHING is sacred in the name of comedy. So when you stop laughing at any jokes ever made at anyone else’s expense, then we’ll stop laughing at things that you take personally too.
Roller Derby: The greatest thing to happen to fat white girls since black men.
What is with this misconception that to play derby you must be fat? It takes girls of all sizes which is another reason it is so awesome.
Yep. and “to” not “2”…
That should be nested under “blue’s” comment.
What, are the replies broken now?
I’m a white girl with black hair, tattoos, and a love for horror films, and I’m fucking sick of people asking me if I’m in roller derby.
No. I think it’s stupid. Stop asking.
I’ll be ready when the trend dies.
I have had my skinny white ass THRASHED by some gnarly derby girls of color. Roller derby is a real sport. And they’re better at sports than us. What? They have an extra muscle in their thigh.
You – out of the gene pool.
this post should read:
“If you meet a white girl with black hair, tattoos, and a passion for horror films, there is a 100 percent chance that you are in philadelphia”
HA!
seriously tho philly, can we lose the tatted bruiser girl aesthetic. its wildly unattractive and just altogether sucks.
Rollergirl here. Definitely could have consulted one of us to improve the comedy in this post. The part about us skating around in a circle and nobody having any idea what’s going on except for us is the part that made me laugh.
Hello this is a comment and I like burgers
Thinking about having a baby but aren’t sure?
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White people share as many differences with each other as they do with people from any other race, as do the people from any other race.
you must not have liked being a ref if you refer to your “derby peoples” as bitches and wearing slutty costumes.
i play derby and no one on my team is a bitch, nor do we wear slutty costumes.
its only a slutty costume when the person wearing it is, in fact, a slut.
however, you are entitled to your opinion and i know everyone’s experiences with the sport are different…i just wanted to offer up some counter arguments.
i love it. Am I the only one who has seen http://www.seriouslysorry.com ?
Having been around long enough to have seen both professional wrestling and roller derby in their original working class iterations, then watched them disappear from the scene in ignominy, I feel qualified to comment. Oh, and one of my best friends is a current derby girl. Pro wrestling enjoyed a rebirth in the late 70s/early 80s, and, just as the defensive derby girl commenters describe, zillions of middle class and upper middle class fans happily bought into the phony drama and image of the “sport” with tongue firmly in cheek, flocking to the matches, discussing their dream tag teams, and buying merch for their kids. Eventually the novelty wore off, the sleaze factor got a bit much to put up with, and people tired of the increasingly cartoonish lengths the key players went to in order to remain in the spotlight, either in terms of their personas, or their appearance, or their names or whatever. It just got dumb. This time around, it’s roller derby, and for every girl/athlete who actually skates in the bouts, there are a dozen wannabes in training who really just want to wear fishnets and booty shorts, make up a naughty name, and hang out with the cool kids as long as they can. Whatever…people need something to do and at least these girls are getting some exercise. As a cultural phenomenon, however? It’s a flash in the pan…another year at the most.
I’ve seen roller derby only on TV…but it’s rather exotic kind of sports, but I think it’s rather rude and dangerous, but may be I’m wrong:)
Thank you Jesus, another installment of the book that explained us to ourselves so well. And now localized? Can it get better.
Actually, I think the next thing should be an app (thus incorporating the very-White iPhone) that tells you the WhiteScore for a town or a restaurant, depending on either its unkownity or its endorsed coolness, and low scores are better. E.g., Ruby Tuesday’s would be a 9.7, but a local tapas place would be a maybe 0.4.
I’m glad you finally put up another post. It felt like forever since the last one. I discovered this site recently so I’m use to reading your articles in succession. I find this post so true. I wonder if you wrote this after seeing an add for Drew Barrymore’s “Whip It?”
That fits the description of someone in roller derby perfectly!!! Just like wearing shoes that match every outfit, not being able to speak proper English and not having a job all matche black people.
Your ignorant lol.
“Just like wearing shoes that match every outfit, not being able to speak proper English and not having a job all matche[SIC] black people.
Your(!?) ignorant lol.” ——— You certainly make a strong argument for ignorance!
“treat them like a white person who does improv. Encourage them in their efforts, but make it clear that you will not pay money to watch their hobby.”
Dear Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com,
I have a few friends who are roller derby-ists and keep inviting me to their events.
I find it extremely boring to watch (sober) and can’t really afford (financially) to keep stroking their massively inflated egos. Any advice on how to handle these invites without getting a black eye?
signed -Rolled-Out
I do not agree with this. I can only hope this is satire. I know many roller girls and they have some very prestigious jobs: one is a Math professor at a college, another is a pastor. I have also seen many other skin colors there. Why must we segregate everything? As for the audience, I have seen many people of diverse dress as well and we learn the rules too. I find roller derby very entertaining and exciting to watch. Much more so than golf and bowling put together! It is even as exciting if not more so than football.
I have a job, full time thanks very much and I play roller derby.
I do tell my friends about the upcoming bouts but we sell out pretty much each one (capacity is just over 2500) anyway so I don’t need to harass my friends to come and wouldn’t.
It’s a great sport and I personally love to watch a bout and love our fans who know the rules and come for the love of an exciting new female competitive sport.
ps. if my friend was doing improv I would totally go and support them- thats what friends do!
Please note that while this is a blog about Stuff White People Like, it isn’t a blog meant to be read by Actual White People.
Please, move along.
White men love black-haired chicks and that’s the #1 reason why they like Asian girls so much (see entry #11) and seek ethnic girls (see diversity #7). Actually, more white women have brown or darker hair, but you will find an occassional blonde blue-eyed babe with a tan on the roller derby course.
Probably all them white but raven-haired roller derby girls are largely of Mexican-American & Cherokee Indian descent, since they are large ethnic populations in Cal. along with the Asians (can’t get enough Chinese, Korean, Sansei, Pinay, etc).
…and should I mention every white person likes to claim to be Indian? “My greatgreatgreatgrandma is Pocahontas”. xD Here’s a word of advice: Make sure your grandparents are NOT the wrong kind of white people (i.e. rural southern or Great Plains farmers), and if you find any American Indian ancestry, quick…play the “race card” to show you’re white.
This is very insulting to the many thousands of Derby Girls nationwide.
bahahahahaha…..
I play roller derby
I’m white
I love this post. And most of my league would Lol their white asses off at it also.
Tongue in Cheek people!
The new book should have Alan Arkin because white people love him and the films he’s been in like: Little Miss Sunshine, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee’, Sunshine Cleaning, Slums of Beverly Hills and City Island.
According to this recent interview Christian Lander, the guy who started this blog, doesn’t read the comments on the blog anymore because they upset him too much. He also says he doesn’t remove troll comments either, which explains all the troll comments on the Obama thread. Anyhoodle it’s a good interview and gives a real insight into where he was coming from when he started his Stuff White People Like blog.
http://www.themonthly.com.au/whiter-shade-pale-christian-lander-and-john-safran-2829
its even more white to make a book based on a gimmick blog and try to make cash on it. its about as lame and white as giving money to the out of shape roller derby / dungeons and dragons chicks.
i play roller derby.
you read it…
I remember roller derby from the 1970s – like fake wrestling, only with lots of sexy women supposedly fighting, a hip chick skating through.
I went to a roller derby event in Chicago, got dragged along with a female neighbor’s friend who says she officiates back east.
Interesting cultural event and yes, the author is right – I had no idea of the rules, didn’t think anyone who wasn’t skating did.
I asked and was told the roller derby girls had to pay to play. So how come I had to pay $30 for the ticket? Who gets the profits – there must have been 7,000 people in the stands. Was I the only one who paid for the ticket?
🙂
welcome to the internet
The proceeds for the leagues around here, after paying for the venue, go to local nonprofits.
In discussing hipsters in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood & their affinity for Pabst Blue Ribbon, the topic of roller derby came up… inevitably this question arose: What is more lesbian than roller derby?!?!
The only agreed upon items:
“Companion” nuns
Lilith Fair
Naming your child or pet after an Ani Difranco song
Any other thoughts?
Who wouldn’t like oversized freaks throwing each other over a rail. They all look like they could f*c& up a catfish and cheese grit breakfast with a quickness.
Excellent description. Roller Derby is a female white trash phenomena.
reminds me of this http://seriouslysorry.com/apology/1626
LOL at the artistic skates that nobody in their right mind would ever attempt derby in. I’m sure this article was even slightly researched.
@lawls Actually, the REAL roller derby skaters from back in the day used to wear skates just like those — wooden wheels and all. But considering most modern-day “skaters” only care about REAL roller derby for its retro kitsch value, you couldn’t possibly be expected to know that.
I have a friend who doesn’t have black hair, tattoos, or a thing for horror movies who does roller derby. I think it’s to blow off steam from a stressful job (CPS caseworker for Louisiana) and being married to a d-bag.
I just joined Roller Derby 3 months ago. No one can really judge it until you’ve experienced the sport, and really met the people. Christian Lander, you’re just upset that there is a tough sport for girls.
First of all Roller Derby isn’t even a sport its a freakin hobby! Second of all your just upset because you have ass Lame Hobby.
Third of all is your neive hope that you will find prince charming at one of you roller matches,well then again your a weirdo freak so you need another weirdo freak to relate to, so yea maybe you will find your creepy prince/princess charming at one of your lame ass event.
Fourth and finial your just one of those lame ass white chicks who have nothing better to do than complain instend of laughing at yourself because your to incure. YOUR HOBBY IS A LITTLE LAME SO WHAT YOU ENJOY IT BUT A HIGH PERCENTAGE OF THE AMERICAN POPULATION THINKS ITS lame.
Can someone get me a windbreaker from the closet, because this story is too cool to stand near!
Huh… Apparently FW went full-on Jack Torrance. Ironic, given the racism of Crazy-Jack’s attempted homicidal spree…
I have tattoos.
I’ve never died my brown hair.
I have a BS and a full time job.
My husband, has a BA, a full time job and a part time job.
We enjoy Quentin Tarantino films.
My husband is a derby fan.
And I f*cking love my derby team.
If that makes me white trash, then I guess I’ll just have to move my family out of our gated community.
Defensive much?
I think you miss the irony of this blog. It isn’t about white trash….it is about the pretentiousness of white people. Thanks for making his point.
I’m always astounded by the number of people who don’t understand this website. Part of me hopes they’re either trolls or planted to cause interest and discourse. Part of me acknowledges most folks don’t spend much time contemplating the world around them…
Roller Derby is a fun sport. Non-exclusive and all-inclusive. I’m glad a bunch of idiots posted their comments to this. Is it just that you are mad that a group of empowered women started a sports league that has spread around the world in less than 10 years? or, Is it that you’d rather promote oiled up males wrestling around on a mat, like ultimate fighting? Sports are sports, and not all sports are for everyone. Sports are not racial, until some “self-proclaimed” “clever” blogger decides to stir it up and make it racial. Thanks for reverting the movement toward acceptance, tolerance, and social justice back about 30 years.
If you don’t like it, create your own damn sport, and of course make it exclusive to whichever race you believe is supierior to the other. Wow. Reading these comments makes me feel like humans are reverting and not evolving. Rub some brain cells together and stop dividing the human race. Try using positive influences. A sport is only as strong as the people that follow it, and join it. If you think Roller Derby is “white” sport, you are sorely mistaken. Check out the Magnolia Roller Vixens. Bad ass team! Thank you good night.
Ritual:
Perhaps if people don’t understand the website, the web author should explain exactly what the website’s agenda or mission statement is. Then perhaps new visitors won’t have to guess what their sarcastic or “trying to be clever” point of view is. I’m not a mind reader and this article is clearer racists from an outsiders point of view.
::FACEPALM::
Sarcasm people, it’s what’s for dinner.
itswhatyoureallywanttosay: He does.
“This is a scientific approach to highlight and explain stuff white people like. They are pretty predictable.”
Pretty straightforward.
Betsy, you and your creep husband are white trash, scum. And I would wager that you are a fat fuck, a pig! Betsy please tell me are you 3bills? When you sit in the pickup does it tilt to one side? Land whale betsy
Racist wit FAIL
Roller derby has alot of athletic merit. Alot of these women train like olympians. We have been busting our asses to legitimize our sport and all of the people that haven’t taken notice to that are really missing out. I feel bad for them.
Don’t drag Alot into this!
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
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That is funny. I just found out they have roller Derby in Atlanta.
You know this article really ticks me off.
Just because you watched roller derby on tv doesn’t mean anything.
Lost in your article are the time and effort behind this SPORT!
The people on our team (menstrual madness) have PhDs and MBAs.
Game on sisters!
As a trailer park scumbag myself, I enjoy the roller derby, the Harlots are my favorite team. I am a scum, how about you
To “Menstrual Madness Queen”,
It’s interesting your team is called that. I’d usually expect an all-white women team with PhDs and MBAs to name their team that – your team IS all-white right?
Heh.
Yes Betsy, please move your family out of your gated community.
And Vanessa Lewis, you’re right on. This website is about the pretentiousness of white people.
White people who actually come here to defend their lame hobbies only show themselves to be even more lame.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Roller-Derby-São-José-do-Rio-Preto-nome-provisório/109241402491738
oh wait whats that? Roller derby in Brazil….OH SNAP thems chicks are hispanic! SWPL fails this one, sorry.
They have them in the UK – we have male players… mmmhmm
Not all PhDs, Masters or Honours degrees automatically translate to having jobs. I know, personally, people with art history and English literature PhDs who are struggling to make ends meet. Maybe SWPL should be specific about the types of PhDs who play on Roller Derby teams… PhDs which investigate how the painting technique of Margritte can be analysed through string theory… Or something useless like that. Yes, I said it, useless!
I am sending this to all the derby peeps I know- hilarious, and the thin-skinned ones will react in the same way as some of the replies above- and the rest will have a laugh. Great blog- I can spot myself, and a whole lot of people I know. This must be a global thing!!
Keep up the good work!!
Well, knowing how important it is to know what the majority think and to keep with the Jonses’ I would say ‘It’s Lame! Hate It!!’ Keep witt that high percentage!!
Hey! Watch your language, Vanilla face!
haha i know that kind of girl
No tats or dyed black hair but guilty of long-ago, unofficial derbying, back when you didn’t even have to wear a helmet at the skating rink, just go really fast and kind of try to knock each other down. I was faster and younger then, so I could dodge pretty well. Roller skating is a totally fun and good-for-you thing. No one was on drugs or drunk, and no one wore those awful Che t-shirts. Much better than hackey-sack, ugh.
100% chance and not paying to support their hobby are 2 of the funniest quotes I have read in a long time!
Just found your site, great stuff, new fan
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something useless like that. Yes, I said it, useless!
Is it just me or is this site so completely played out its ridiculous?
This is good. I am certain this will help me with what I’m doing. I am going to share this with my friends.
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This guy is so predictable. Why would anyone buy his stupid junk?
It isn’t funny, it isn’t stimulating, it has no value.
At best it is couched racism. A black guy trying to make up
for all the knee grow jokes.
” You serve knee grows here? Good bring me a steak and a knee grow for for my alligator”
I have heard all this junk before, there isn’t an original thought in any of his writings.
Just warmed over left overs.
I enjoy reading the real true Black hatred of Whites, now that amuses me.
Ah yes, the old, ‘come and pay money so that I can show you my hobby’.
I have a similar feeling about Tap Dancing ‘schools’ that put on an end of year ‘extravaganza’ that is actually just the time step performed in a variety of costumes, AND local amateur theatre.
“come and see my show” they say.
“is it the same as last year” I respond.
“no, it’s a different theme this year”
“is it just the time step with a different costume theme?”
“…”
“is it??”
“Yes… yes it is”
“No, I will not be coming to your hobby”.
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Please do a little more research on the sport of roller derby before attempting to write about it. I suggest you start by reading Roller Derby: The History and All-Girl Revival of the Greatest Sport on Wheels by Catherine Mabe. Your unflattering account roller derby is ignorant, fabricated, and not amusing whatsoever.
Derby attracts both men and woman (there are coed leagues) of all shapes and sizes from all walks of life. They are students, teachers, doctors, lawyers, bartenders, mechanics, sales people, and full time parents. Some derby players are a mural of tattoos and a pin cushion of piercings, others wouldn’t even touch henna. Some shop skaters shop at Hot Topic; some skaters prefer a more demure banana republic look, it depends of individual.
Derby is not a professional sport, so therefore athletes are not paid. The leagues are skater run and self-funded. Each league member is responsible to purchasing their own skates, uniforms, and protective gear. Derby is very expensive hobby; the median cost of QUALITY skates alone is around $400. There are other necessities such as health insurance and league dues. The skater must have a job or some form of income in order to participate.
Derby is not just cute names, sexy outfits, and theatrical flare it’s a physically demanding sports which requires intensive training on and off skates. You must be proficient at gliding, swerving, falling, hitting, stopping, blocking, jumping, surging, and maneuvering with the agility of cat on one foot. Many of the skaters come from a background in other sports, dance, and martial arts. Some have roller skated as kids but, some were taught from scratch prior to grueling tryouts and safety assessments.
Derby can feel like a part time job. The average derby guy or gal can spend near 20 hours per week with their derby-related commitments. Most leagues hold 2 hour practices twice or three times each week all year round. Outside of practices and occasional games, there are fundraisers, community outreach events, recruiting events, league meetings, committee meetings, and conventions which players are required to attend. In conjunction with practices, it’s also highly encouraged that additional skating and training is done on their own in order to stay strong and fit.
Other than dedicated players, knowledgeable officials, and volunteers, there are a great deal of fans and the numbers multiply each time there is a bout. Fans are willing to pay at least $10 for a ticket to witness the action. This is infinitely cheaper than concerts and other sporting events. Tickets sales help cover league expenses such as rental venue where they play/practice. Often some of the proceeds are given to local charities as well.
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the initial post was pretty correct on the derby. My wife does it and for the most part our friends and family, after several bouts, understand the scoring, but really don’t understand the rules. I think the blogger was spot on when it comes to the whole infrastructure of derby and the amount of costumes and mustaches. There seems to be a lot of focus on the promoting the spectacle and not the sport, which is unfortunate because they work so hard. The one thing the blogger left out is that derby people are almost as defensive of bowlers, curlers and nascar people if you criticize their sport.
@Andie So, you went on a satirical blog called “Stuff White People Like” and think that what’s on it is ‘not amusing whatoever’ enough to write a million word reply? How about getting offended by real things instead?
Wow. My girlfriend is going to totally have me in the #DogHouse for liking this status on FaceBook. Imma need to re-think that click…. #!Fan FangGel….
Maybe not more of the funnier posts, but certainly not worthy of all the hating! Theres an odd oversensitivity going on in America among us white people. People who are of an ethnicity, and culture who have oppressed and enslaved, murdered, robbed and minimized almost all other ethnic groups over a large portion of history, and yet experienced little of the same, and STILL live under great privelage much due to this behaviour, dont get to be petty……..sorry……..Find another cause…..
Now if you will excuse me as soon as I find my Tevas, I have a pilates class……….
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I love roller skating its very and yes I have attended a roller derby but now I’m seriously into biking. I got me a cool bike from http://www.bikesxpress.com/26-Beach-Cruiser-Bikes-Cruiser-Bicycles-Beach-Bikes_c_1.html and now I get to do 2 of my favorite things in the world. Roller skating and biking. I love it. Great Article!!
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This couldn’t be more wrong. It also sucks. First off lose the “only white people do this sport” vibe. Second off, just like any other sport, you have to take the time to figure out the rules to know whats going on. You must know nothing about roller derby, so you shouldn’t wrote this acting as if you did.
Bye.
This is satirical. If you can’t laugh at yourself, than you have issues.
I don’t know how roller derby works in other places, but in Jersey, it’s most definitely not a hipster thing. Those girls don’t play around, they just wanna brawl, there’s no irony involved.
-I play roller derby and there is EXTENSIVE scientific research supporting the direct positive correlation between tattooed dark hair females to roller derby participation.
-also according to my calculations…women playing roller derby have a 95% chance of losing any serious jobs within the 1st week of skating
-Do your research whiners.
As a black roller girl your post is highly amusing. Don’t get me wrong it’s definitely not the wit you were trying to hit and failed miserable, it’s more the fact that your feeble mind could not get a slight grasp of the objective of the game. And what more is laughable the fact that you down play the fact this is a full contact sport on skates….. Unless your figure skater if you attempt to anything on skates it’s easier said then done. But you know what is easy, talking shit about a sport you don’t understand and writing a blog post excluding all the black, Latina and Asians who are just so purposely in the sport.kudos numb nuts
The team I play on has tons of girls of color, in fact, the fastest one who whoops the most ass on the team is BLACK, and is a registered nurse. Most of the girls on the team are professional and successful in the “real world” they just like roller derby to unwind and have some fun. Really. Have you ever even talked with a roller girl?
LOL at all the offended white people in the comments.
Hi, I am a British girl, white, age 25, British, I am in full time work and I have a Masters in Science degree. I play roller derby on the weekends. Your observations are based on the larger image that roller derby has, pretty much showing you didn’t do any research what so ever about the impact the sport has on guys and girls lives. I do not believe I fit into your description, nor do I think a lot of the girls I play with do – they are mothers, hard workers, part time workers, students, wives, single.. you name it.
TL;DR – you are wrong on every count, congratulations!
First off people, it’s a comedy site. Don’t get bent out of shape, and just take that for what it is & laugh at it. Personally I think Roller Derby is great fun! The majority of pro sports including Hockey, Football, Basketball, Baseball and a long list I need not carry on with – are boring as hell! It’s a watered down scene with each pro sport catering to different demographics just like these guys are claiming Derby to be. The business of pro sports to me is laughable. The fact that anyone would pay so much money for a Basketball or Baseball game to watch multi millionaire corporate DB’s run around being all dramatic over an inflated ball is just hilarious. Even funnier is the interviews after a game. Are they serious? “We uhhh, had a good year…and uhhhh…we’re gonna just get out there and keep giving it our all.”
That’s good, you do that.
Roller Derby however has women of all shapes and sizes being crude sometimes and aggressive on roller skates. I LOVE the names of the teams and members. They may take the athletics of it seriously, but the names and overall scene is just great fun. It’s at least a sport I can root for and enjoy a game of.
I can’t tell what I find more hysterical; the original post or the ‘white ire’ over wrongly ‘maligning’ the roller-derby community? How dare the author not recognize all of the degreed and employed roller-derby participants.
I thought that rockabillies were the wrong kind of white person!
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“If you meet a white girl with black hair, tattoos, and a passion for horror films, there is a 100 percent chance that she plays in some sort of Roller Derby league.”
Hm. I’m a white girl with black hair, tattoos and a passion for horror movies, but I have never been to/ part of a roller derby and never will. I’d rather read a book or go to the beach. IDGaS if you stereotype white people, we deserve it. But come on, why do you feel the need to confuse all people that look a certain way with a select few dykes on wheels?.
So true. I went to a roller derby birthday party for an eight-year-old girl. I had no clue what the point was and thoroughly enjoyed the nick names and costuomes.
What a load of shit, let me start by saying I have blonde hair, I’m married, have a family, many qualifications and have always had a full time job (apart from time off due to having my babies) Many dolls in my legue have full time jobs! They are nurses, real estate agents, childcare workers, not all are covered in tattoos or even like horrors, and just because someone has tattoos doesn’t mean they don’t work. Roller derby is a great sport I recommend to anyone! It’s fun and great for your fitness! In our legue “Sale City Rollers” we even have a figure skater, it’s great for all ages and all body types, we don’t judge anyone and we all care for one another as family, it is surely something worth paying for to see! And even better to do! 🙂
Just plain not funny. Small minded rubbish.
WHAT RIGHT HAVE YOU to think that you speak for the world of Roller Derby? Get a life! My son is a Referee (aka Zebra) for a local (women’s) league. It’s exciting, it’s multicultural, it’s NOT in the USA, it’s well attended, it’s loud, it’s well attended, it’s got a good local following, it makes many people train and keep fit, it’s exciting. Did I mention…. it’s NOT in the USA, so there is maybe less of a Us-and-Them (aka “colour”/”color”) thing going on. So, please, enjoy the Derby and not the shade of the skins.
LOL!!
I get that this is a tongue-an-cheek type of blog, but to assume Derby is just a white girl’s sport is a poor choice of narrative. You make it sound like a ’bout is equally as entertaining as figure skating at the Olympics, only grungy.
Roller Derby today is empowering women of all ages, races, and backgrounds. Show some love to those who would rather make this world a better place, one skater at a time.
– Hot Mitts
P.S. I hate horror movies.
Other stuff white people like: blogs.
The conceit of Mr. Lander’s books is that he’s explaining, like some cross-cultural docent, the absurd cultural tastes of white people — in his universe they’re as skittish and insecure as they are hypocritical and self-satisfied — to baffled nonwhites. The white people under Mr. Lander’s microscope are emphatically not those who enjoy Nascar, Sarah Palin, bratwursts, deer hunting, Metallica or “Ice Road Truckers” in any way except ironically. People who do gravitate toward these sort of things, he warns, sotto voce, might be “the wrong kind of white person.”
http://www.blackwhitepeoplemeet.com/
Love knows no bounds. This is an interracial dating site for white people meet black people, and black white dating is easy to begin with here. It provides online dating service for interracial singles.
I agree Reina 🙂
Not everyone effectively pulls it off while wearing roller skates. I tried using them but no lock. I always fall and just can’t keep my balance. This is one of the things that give me and my friends something to laugh about!
roller derby is bigger now that it ever was in the 70s. it is, in fact, the fastest growing sport in the WORLD. this is a legitimate athletic endevour comprised of mothers, sisters, professionals, business owners, students, christians, athiests, tattooed, non drinkers, singles, gays, 20 somethings, 50 somethings, stay at home moms, bosses, blacks, asians, etc… this blog is pure blathering IGNORANCE. the author shows a complete lack of knowledge on the subject. yes, there exists recreational teams, but there is a dominant truly athletic culture of which the author appears to be completely unaware. we take this very seriously, and train tirelessly on and off the track to excel in our SPORT. we are strong athletic women with a passion for the best thing we/I am priveliged to have ever been a part of. i am also quite insulted to have something that i, and countless women, have literally dedicated blood, sweat, and tears too, referred to as a “whimsical activity”. youre an ignorant douche author, i hope a pack of roving roller women find youin a dark alley, then you can experience whimsical first hand.
Wow, marvelous weblog format! How long have you been running a
blog for? you made running a blog look easy.
The whole look of your site is excellent, as well as the content!
I would find roller derby far more interesting with the introduction of a large metal ball, motorcycles and spiked gloves.
Hello just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
The words in your post seem to be running off the screen
in Internet explorer. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but
I figured I’d post to let you know. The design look great though!
Hope you get the issue solved soon. Cheers
Cant wait for more great posts!
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derby people and their fans are the same dildos who play kickball in the summertime
I take it back – its even worse than watching kickball dildos — I just watche a video of it – they skate in a cirlcle so small it could fit in my bedroom
then they start and stop all the time – refs are blowing whistles all the time – there is some announcer blabbing away on the microphone about the next match
their unruly kids are climbing all over shit
its not a sport, its not a hobby, its just plain stupid
I jus took a dump…in my pants
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I don’t know why you had to put a skin color on DERBY…..that’s rediculous! Derby is for everyone!
*ridiculous
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Derby husband. Why are you even on this site, is it to dispell ignorance and cultivate roller derby awarness? Why dont you start a crusade against wikipedia fight the good fight. Lighten up mate
Lolita 😉
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Roller Derby and burlesque are the D&D of of this White girl demographic. I know the women who were at the forefront of these revivals back in the 1990’s.
Greatest article ever.. thanks for sharing!
Man i Like Roller Derby and i’m Black
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This wasn’t funny. Some things are affectionately accurate or scorchingly ironic that they make you laugh whether you want to or not. This is neither of those. It was written by some one who doesn’t know enough about the sport to understand it or write about it, or if they do have intimate knowledge, they sure didn’t make it apparent in their post.
Roller Derby Post that is.
aww that so cute you tried to be funny that’s ok you’ll do better next time. I’m not going to give you any tips as I have to get back to my full time job so I can pay for my tattoos and buy some more hipster cloths. I would never want your negative Nancy money anyways so do us multicultural derby people a favor n try a little hard if your going to talk smack. Good luck on your feeble attempts at comedy.
If you know someone who plays on a Roller Derby team, you should encourage them in their efforts, Roller is world wide popular as well as in Derby. Roller skating is without a doubt one of the most fun ways to exercise. wonder wheel skates, tropical green wonder, green wonder wheel, blue wonder wheel,
I’m sure a “NHLer” would do just fine in that painfully slow moving pack. Or as the moderately fast skating jammer. Hockey is no joke. The hits are harder, the skating is more skillful and every player is in good physical condition. There are no fat girls on any NHL, AHL, ECHL, ect… team. The nba is definitely a joke but definitely don’t include hockey in the list of sports you want to compare “The Sport of Roller Derby” to. It is kind of hard to take derby seriously…..
Bunch of butthurt rockabilly roller derby retards taking this way too seriously. Your fucking sport is stupid that’s why nobody watches it. Somebody had blasted nascar in the comments when they are pretty much the same fucking sport. Just a bunch of going around an oval. At least nascar has car crashes. What does roller derby have? A bunch of wanna be rob zombie groupies, into the trash it fucking goes.
Youse kids are thet retards, roola derby rocks out, we trailer park white trash types loves it, oh and by da way all white people are white fucking trash not just your trailer park scummers,
Parts of this post is kinda true and false. Their are hipsters/yuppie/trustfund kids who most likely do this kinda stuff who live in decent neighborhoods where their is room for exploration. Most likely people who live in houses or have access to an track or area with small amounts of traffic.
By that chances are people who are professionals. Who have nothing else better to do then go back to their job which can only accumulate through college and non-military standards. By jobs I mean stuff that takes small amounts of time to do compared to work that requires an open mind. Yes I could image this being so as well.
Most interesting is the description. Girl who is into horror, have glamorous showy names, has black hair ( which is the real funny part of this ), and some other things. I mean yeah I have seen and ran into girls who do fit that description and are into Roller etc. Not necessarily Roller-Blading but it could be skate-boarding, or some other vehicle related activity.
Also duh this ( like mud-wrestling ) is an sport as all sports must have crowd funding and fans for various reasons to enjoy it and all. Their is no different between this and American football asides the fact that the people who have the training is much more rarer then American Football itself. If highschools and colleges could have tracks dedicated to rollerskating/blades/boards and so forth along with respectful sport activity maybe it would be on television. That and Mud-wrestling. Same argument.
However this sport is actually more cleaner. Unlike athletic chirography and dance it is not extinct but an dying gimmick only kept around because people are able to not watch television or be inside an negative and disabling household. Otherwise we would have more of this.
Personally I wish all these postings would just minus the world “White” because while the United States have 70% European people in it’s demographics the things you speak of are in general of all race groups who call themselves American. By which they hurt when the nation hurt and think or calculate the same exact way. It might not be as glam as the next town over but they are all the same just different textures.
Kids I have a new idea, for a kind of new derby. My derby would be who could unload with the biggest shit.
I used to watch Roller Derby when I was a kid in the 70s and rooted for the LA T-Birds. While most of the team was white, I remember the best female skater were black. “Skinny Minnie” Gwen Miller was her name.
Nope. Don’t like roller derby. Don’t like seeing brawny, tattooed girls on roller skates trying to trip each other or shove each other out of the way while rolling around a track. Not my idea of a good time. Much too crude and vulgar for my taste. I will take the ballet or figure skating over roller derby any day.
Oy. That was a boring read. First time checking this site out, and most definitely won’t be coming back. I could have written a better satire piece on derby and I play and watch it. This sounds like it’s based on a brand new team in some po-dunk town with incredibly boring people living in it. The writing just isn’t good in this piece. It’s a shame, too, cuz I love good satire.
Anyone who hasn’t seen derby should ignore this and go to a bout to see what they think. You might see your kids teacher hitting a bitch to the floor or your divorce lawyer laying out a woman twice her size, all while wearing a big smile on her face.
Derby girls, more often than not, are a bunch of thin skinned evangelicals preaching the virtues of a sport that makes zero sense to the layman or casual spectator and therefore does not warrant the money. I went to a few matches, it was boring as hell, and has much too much in common with Nascar. But don’t you dare say that to any of them! Otherwise be prepared for biblical length beating about how it is the “fastest growing sport for girls” or how you should don some skates and see how “easy” you think it is.
This has nothing to do with female empowerment and seems to also serve as a platform for women who lack conventionally attractive attributes to become vain and self-serving. That doesn’t apply to all. But it is prevelant enough to be noticed and that kind of cultish behavior is downright destructive.
If derby wants to be taken seriously. It can start by ditching the stupid names. Rhonda Rousey doesn’t go by a dumb alias and she is one of the most kickass people in the world, by virtue of her work and ability and I highly doubt she is so weak willed she challenges any critics to jump in the octogon with her.
Witty. There has to be a sequel to this…assuming there isn’t but if there is…my BORING day just got a whole less boring.
On the flipside, articulating this on a generalisation of the ‘stuff’ typical white people like…hmm…
Not sure about that..but that’s just me, some random, weirdly named brunette.
Have a piece of cake with this one- ‘Is indie really for white people?’
It’s lame…i know…throw me a bone here…i’m uber bored ay.
Okay…i’m done typing.
Witty. There has to be a sequel to this…assuming there isn’t but if there is…my BORING day just got a whole less boring.
On the flipside, basing this on a generalisation of the ‘stuff’ typical white people like…hmm…
Not sure about that..but that’s just me. Some random, weirdly named brunette.
Have a piece of cake with this one- ‘Is indie really for white people?’
It’s lame…i know…throw me a bone here…i’m uber bored ay.
Okay…i’m done typing.
Witty. There has to be a follow-up to this…assuming there isn’t but if there is…my BORING day just got a whole less boring.
On the flipside, basing this on a generalisation of the ‘stuff’ typical white people like…hmm…
Not sure about that..but that’s just me. Some random, weirdly named brunette.
Have a piece of cake with this one- ‘Is indie really for white people?’
It’s lame…i know…throw me a bone here…i’m uber bored ay.
Okay…i’m done typing.
So…what’s derby? I guess it’s some sport ‘white people like’.
Honestly…why in the palooza’s did my comment appear thrice?
Talk about bummy mistakes.
Men…i think my head hurts from reading my previous comments (thrice for that matter).
Boredom is a serious pandemic, people!
Kids, I just let one go in my pants. Thought you should know, how is that for witty?
you sick smelly fuck.
cigars is also a white people thing. I went to a roller derby and found a cigar rolling booth.
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You should be committing yourself to fighting religious hypocrisy, in all of its obscene forms, rather than this blatant surrender to this hemisphere’s lowest common denominator. Shame on you.
Don’t blame me when you are raped by a psychopath posing as a “Cardinal”.
Most of these comments are examples of SWPL #101
Roller Derby in the past from like 30’s-80’s was awesome, fast, and athletic, was multi-racial, men & women, etc. now it’s either really fat or really skinny white women (feminazi’s) skating 2mph when they used to go fast and beat each other up like hockey players.
This isn’t even really roller derby. It’s like comparing floor hockey to ice hockey, one is enjoyable to watch and worth paying to see and the other isn’t. Roller Derby today is like floor hockey, but even more boring to watch.
Lots of leagues are also affiliated with KKK or neo-natzism too. You can look that up too.
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Totally stoked to find out that Moxie Von Stinkfist is a heretofore unused roller derby moniker.
Dibs!
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Isn’t this website just kind of superfluous?
How about stuff some people like?
Nothing particularly interesting about dividing up yank culture and painting a stereotype.
Yeah youre fat i can see it in your typing shut up fat person
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Wait. Who is in charge here. Either a group of non whites who dislike white people. “If there is such a group” or a group of whites that dislike white people. This would be “Micheal Moore” types. Either group is really no worse than the other, both being equally pathetic.
But before I rush to any judgement I want to give this site a little bit more of my time since I could be rushing to judge here only reading a one article on roller derby and get more understanding here. after all I am a white male mid 40s who if just happened to be a cop id be a trigger happy racist who takes target practice on black males in the USA.I only say that cause that’s how is be viewed in my opinion. But my view on white mid age cops is slightly different. Its not black males there after. Its any male. And color just happen to be there. Cops today are not the cops of yesterday. Today’s cops will steal the money
In your wallet, any valuable items they can fit into their pocket, I’m aware how that sounds to some of y’all cause I wouldn’t have believed it either, my 44 years has tought me from experience and my dealings with them over the years. And folks the cops don’t care if ur black and or blue they will shoot your purple ads to smitherines and high five his partner cuz now he’s a real cop, yesterday green behold the ears today part of the club. A trusted partner till death. Yep if ur not a cop you are the enemy to them. And their club is the most diversified cuzthey are family to each other. The problem with that is that attitude of we and them. We need a complete overall and start over with a new generation. Fire all of them and retire the good ones and completely start Fresh.so tell me what you think about what I said.
If you don’t understand something, go learn about it. Derby is a hard and physically demanding sport. Not just something white people like…NFL Snapback Hats
Kids, those of us that fornuate engouh to live our lives un the trailer park love the derby, we usally enjoy the deyby with some heroin, makes it more fun. I also like to smell my own farts but who dosnt, hit me up on face book,
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Thank god this fad is over. No more butch dykes trying to impose their shitty hobbies on people. Trump is president, so you can get the fuck out of the country now, go cry about your feminist bullshit in Afghanistan and take your white knighting manlets with you!
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If you are reading this, consider yourself a moron.
The joy of being a moron! but you already knew that. send me a text, and I will take a fresh shit, with your name on it. get ready for another sueprbowl, just drinking a smellwiser
Stuff that white people like…at number 135 – the roller derby.
Roller-skating can be cool, it helps you feel like you’re floating on the floor, instead of walking – I’d feel like I can reach my destination sooner!
tim
One trick, take a shit, don’t wash hands, now you can smell yourself all day long, see that. Thanks timmy
As a news story
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If someone takes you on the challenge, you should play their sport too, to see how good are you in it too.
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White trash garbage. As you know I’m a one