#33 Marijuana
January 27, 2008 by clander
People from many cultures like marijuana (South East Asian, Jamaica, India, Morrocco, Mexico, etc), but white people take it to an entirely new level.
To simply purchase, roll and smoke marijuana is not enough for white people. They need to make sure they know all the different strains, cultivation technique, and methods for smoking it. They even have an entire magazine devoted those where they actually have centerfolds of plants that people have grown.
White people are also willing to spend over $500 on smoking devices just to find new and more expensive ways to smoke weed.
It is worth noting that at every white person, at some point, has written a high school or college paper about the history of how the DuPont industry helped make weed illegal. This paper also teaches them about how hemp can be used to fuel cars, make clothing, create food, cure cancer, and solve every single problem on earth.
While you would assume that most white people smoke weed between 14-28 (and act as though they are the first generation to do so), the reality is that white people smoke weed well into old age. They also smoke weed with their kids! This is not a joke. White people love weed so much that they consider it a ‘gift’ to share with their kids. Leading to a generation that was not allowed to watch Power Rangers, but was allowed to toke up.
All white people believe marijuana should be legalized, and they consider the Netherlands to a pinnacle of enlightenment. Also, every white person has had their most profound weed smoking experience in Amsterdam, so it’s a good idea to fabricate a story about your own experience there so you can quickly forge a bond. Traditional tales uses the following words: hostel, brownie, girl/guy from Hungary, crazy, locked out, chill dudes from Ireland.
Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should ever imply that people just smoke weed to get high, they do it for medical/spiritual/social reasons, etc, or that there are any negative consequences. This will likely alienate you from white people.
On the plus side, white people are always looking for higher quality, more potent, more organic marijuana. If you promise to hook them up with a special selection from your home country, they will likely pay a high premium.
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I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on marijuana.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
Sounds good. I’m not rich but I can spare you a dollar, just count me as the millionth, i.e. get a dollar from 999,999 people first and I will definately give you a dollar.
I might even give you ten dollars… I would be pretty impressed at that point.
Shouldn’t that ad for the 420 watch have the time on… 4:20?
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
Dude, weed is much, much healthier for kids than anything produced or inspired by Japan.
arrested development !!!! im so white
Haha “Nat” hit the nail right on the head… hah.
Alicia, do us all a favour and go back to reading archie comics.
Now, as for the marijuana blog… true, true and true. I wish I was high now, I wrote a paper about the effectiveness of marijuana on consentration and health… and if I had the money, I would buy a bong. Though, now that you mention it… I would rather have 20 papers for 56 cents… then a $200 glass bong that some idiot is gunna break next time i have a party… so Im definitely not buying one now.
I do love weed and I know a lot of white kids who spend more then $500 on bongs and pipes… you are a very wise bloger.
ppl only say that there are negative side effects. there is NO proof of anyone who ONLY smoked weed their entire life to get any sickness like lung cancer. if they did get lung cancer, they proly smoked cigs too… so then u cant say that it was tha weed that caused tha lung cancer…
and as far as ppl who say weed makes u dumber or slower…. theyre tha slow ones… its mind over matter
ganja is tha healing of tha nation… and p.s. im brown
…
Actually, smoking ANYTHING is inherently dangerous. Smoke inhalation damages the lungs, simply a fact. Also, there is tar in marijuana which can transfer to the lungs.
That being said, at least it doesn’t have cyanide or rat poison in it.
I………37…no aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaafffffectssssssssssssssss
Alicia, I hope you’re white. This definitely satirizes the American marijuana subculture. While it is a personal choice, the white people WHO DO smoke weed most likely associate to this character. I’m from a predominantly black/hispanic neighborhood, and we always made fun of white people who would show off expensive bongs. That’s seen as an unnecessary purchase, and not some genius way to get high.
haha, dude it’s so true, I browse a marajuana culture forum and everyone shows off their expensive ass bongs that are like 400-1000 bucks or more…it’s redic
this is a good laugh and so true
its not like this in london… the other day i was at a party and had a spliff and some black guys start laughing at our ‘commercial shit’! i said i didn’t know about them, but i just wanted to get high =P
too much emphasis on race.. its about the choices we make as our own separate people.. has nothing to do w/ whos white or not.. its weed not that big of a deal. whether we choose to smoke weed or not as non white people would be a personal choice.
Way to go! Spread your message
you’re simply an idiot Alicia
Dude, it’s called ‘Stuff WHITE people like’ and you’re saying too much emphasis on race…?
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