#74 Oscar Parties
February 24, 2008 by mylosh
One of the best places to gain a white person’s trust is at an Oscar party. An invitation to one these parties is basically your “foot in the door”.
Vocabulary is one of the first things to be aware of at an Oscar party. Never say “movie”, always say “film” and know which awards use the term “Best” and which ones use “Outstanding Achievement”. Saying “I hope Atonement wins Best Art Direction” will guarantee that you won’t be invited next year.
Attire is very important as well. Either dress in an fancy suit / gown or wear something that relates to one of the films nominated for Best Picture. So for the 2008 Oscar Party it might be best to put a pillow under your shirt and come as a pregnant teenager in tribute to Juno (by no means should anyone bring an actual pregnant teenager). You can impress white people even further by bringing in a food or drink item that relates to a film. Again using Juno as an example, if you were to come to the party with jugs of SunnyD, it would highlight your keen observation of detail when it comes to watching films. Then they will see that you watch films the same way that they do. Also be prepared to be involved in an Oscar Pool, but make sure you don’t win. If you do, just say that you were lucky.
However all of this preparation will mean nothing if one does not act during the most important part of the night: when the nominees are read for Best Foreign Film. At this point someone will get angry and state that some movie that no one has heard of, was snubbed. When this happens just nod and agree. Mention that it sounds interesting and that you will watch it tomorrow, even if you have already seen it and know that its boring.
Basically what separates Oscar Night from other party nights is that it allows white people to express themselves through their tastes in film. If they see that you are someone who agrees with a majority of their opinions, then they will be your friend and provide you with ample opportunities to sip wine and attend film festivals together
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You forgot, those who makes a big applause on theater, when a film ends
oscar bash at Mels was great, open bar serving our very own home made brew smellwisers! Beer whores chink food, and newports, what a day.
Wow this is a great resource. I’m enjoying it. Good article.
Great site. I’ll be sure to bookmark this.
I don’t consider Baidu can compete with Google. Its major marketplace is India and in fact, it serves 338 million individuals there. That explains why it is controlling 63% of India’s market share and at the time of 3% of the industry’s.
I mistyped this website and thankfully I discovered it again. presently am at my university I added this to favorites in order that I can re-read it later regards
throw a tofu/sun flower seed party with a bunch of singles who have little outside their corporate hamster wheeling/mundane lives and watch american flatus movies, stuttering movies, or another recyled plot wth bad acting or PC BS.
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
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Do americans actually do this? so pathetic its unreal
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