#102 Children’s Games as Adults
June 2, 2008 by clander
By far, the easiest way to befriend a large group of white people is to organize and then participate in a game that is normally played by children. Unlike the practice of having their parents help with rent, this activity is a pleasant reminder to white people that they have not fully severed their ties with childhood.
When it comes to outdoor games, the most popular one remains kickball. In fact, you might have noticed groups of white people at the park playing this game in loosely organized leagues (see #65 Co-Ed Sports for further explanation). Though kickball is by far the most popular, if you were to suggest a game of capture the flag, Red Rover (pictured), British Bulldog, Tag, or even Hide and Go Seek your popularity would with white people would skyrocket. In addition, you would likely become a legend in your office.
Once the game has actually been organized and you are at the event, things will pretty much just sort themselves out. White people will be so happy to be outside reliving their childhood, that they will all be in a good mood. But if you want to take it to the next level, you should have a friend show up and say to one of the white people: “excuse me, what are you people doing?” The white person will tell them what game they are playing and promptly issue an invitation. To which your friend should say “I’m sorry, I’m an adult. You 
people are crazy.” It will make the white person feel great and give them a story for years to come
If you do not know enough white people for a large outdoor game or do not have access to adequate space, you are not out of luck. White people are also quite fond of indoor activities, especially ones that can be easily combined with alcohol. Therefore it is a rock-solid guarantee that you will gain white friends if you suggest a social gathering where people drink and play old board games like Candyland, The Game of Life, or Mouse Trap. Just the suggestion of an event like this will get them more excited than word of a new Trader Joe’s opening. (Note the photo evidence of success in this photo from Attus Apparel)
It’s a good idea to space out these events or else you become “that weird guy who always wants to play Fireball Island.”
Photo of game of Red Rover from zacharmstrong
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or beer pong! great game, great way to test your hand-eye coordination. and to bring out the drunkenness and competitiveness in people!
don’t tell me “non-white” people don’t like drinking games!
or that bags game. i’ve seen all kinds of people try that atrocity.
I think its silly to lump all white people together who you believe all enjoy all of these things you think we enjoy.
Ok, now that I have that off of my chest, I LOVE GAMES.
Board games, card games, outdoor games, computer games… nintendo Wii games… puzzles.
I hated 99% of those games as a kid and I can’t imagine enjoying them any more now. The occasional board-game doesn’t go amiss, but even then I tend to prefer the more complex and “adult” games as opposed to something like “Candyland”.
if you like this blog, check out http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!
Adult party drinking games! Play “fart in a bottle” and see how the gas combusts inside the glass (Warning! What it is…is a dangerous game, don’t try this at home, kiddies).
so true.
I’m very white and I love children’s games! Anything from my childhood is still great. I love the 90s Disney movies, like Beauty and the Beast and the Lion King. And even though I was an adult when most of them came out, I love all Pixar movies. I love coloring books (with crayons, because markers and colored pencils are not the same). I love being asked “aren’t you too old for that” because when other people think I’m weird it makes me seem quirky. White people love to be quirky because it makes them seem more unique than other white people.
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