#110 Frisbee Sports
September 23, 2008 by clander
Though many white people consider competitive sports to be too aggressive and macho for their tastes there are a few exceptions. The most notable is Soccer since for some reason it is wrong to get fired up about Football game, but right to get fired up about a Football match. The second sport (term used loosely) in this category is called Ultimate Frisbee or simply Ultimate.
It is important to know that when you hear a white person saying “we should do some ultimate this weekend” or “I’m so pumped for ultimate,” they are talking about a sport and not an “ultimate solution”-type race war. Though a quick look at a field full of Ultimate Frisbee players might lead one to surmise that an ethnic cleansing has taken place.
When you first see the sport being played, you will be struck at how amazingly boring it is. Imagine a field of white people running around throwing a frisbee trying to catch it in an “endzone.” Sometimes one person ‘guards’ another (pictured) and that’s the whole game. There is nothing more to explain.
If you look a little closer, you will see some surprising things. First, you will never see hippies get more upset than on an Ultimate Frisbee field. It can be jarring to see people who look like they should be playing acoustic guitars yelling at each other about whether or not Blake stepped out of bounds. Secondly, you will notice that Ultimate Frisbee matches are the best place to meet white guys who wear headbands.
Fortunately, ultimate frisbee offers a lot of opportunities for personal, professional and financial gain. Since the sport has yet to be integrated, you could command a high fee in terms of money or favors if you agree to join one of the many white leagues in your area. To a white person, having a diverse Ultimate team is almost as good as winning the championship. Almost.
In addition, white people have also created a sport called Frisbee Golf. In this game, you see how many throws it takes to get a disc into a receptacle. There is no other pertinent information about this sport, and it’s only real value is as a cheap date for white people who like to be outside.
In any case, if a white person talks to you a sport that you’ve never heard of, do not be afraid to ask some questions. This is because, on average, white people invent a new sport every six weeks. Hacky Sack, Sky Surfing, and group juggling are just a few of the games invented to help white people maximize their time at parks and beaches.
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I read two chapters of your book, and found it to be almost worthless. I found it at used book store for a nickel. Best laugh for 5 pennies. Only dumb blacks and whites would even entertain your book.
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Fun. Definitely like the headband comment. I’ve heard bandanas called “ultimate frisbee helmets”.
Also liked the comment that we white people have to invent a new sport every six weeks because the time between its invention and when black people learn to play it is the period during which white people can be champions. Ouch! Rings true.
I do play ultimate, by the way. A lot. Have for 20 years. It is hard to play and it is, I think, boring to watch if you don’t know much about it. Definitely true that watching a guy counting to ten in front of another guy is hardly an eight-man blitz in the NFL or an ankle-breaking crossover dribble, but it has more layouts than any sport I know (diving excepted, of course).
So, no, I’m not gonna write a 2000 word treatise defending ultimate frisbee as a real sport, but I gotta say, the hate is tremendous here. Of course, you should never read the comments on any article unless you want a deep drink of Haterade, but seriously. And what’s funny is just how badass so many of you sound. It’s like you basically get up, take two shots of sterno, rape somebody and then go out shooting people with a bazooka. My guess is that most of you spend your days in a cubicle, getting up only to jerk off in the bathroom. I mean, I’m sure you’re all ultimate-fighting, Navy SEAL gladiators, but take it easy on the rest of us who just want to live our lives and do something we like.
Sure, the article’s a joke, and a funny one, but the stuff that follows it is mostly flame-bait, nasty, and uninspired, at that.
Go huck yourself.
Really, football is a nice and fun game for kids and youth.
No there is not, every year I get forced to tolerate and sometimes help those pale skinned little fags who run around pretending that their “in with it”, and “stoked”, even more embarassing is the parties they have afterward, think The Doors but without any weed, i.e shit, ” ’cause we’re cool, but you could get busted for weed man and i had this cousin who knew this guy who’s like a schizo now man, you should try this herbal stuff though man, its erlaborated from the blue aguave”, no shit hoss, thats called tequila you fucken overeducated hemp wearing vegan scum
there are actually some pretty good athletes that play this at a high level, don’t be shallow.
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