When Loverboy wrote the song “Everybody’s working for the weekend,” they meant that you work all week so that you can earn a break and go to some sweet bars or concerts and rock out as hard as possible because you have 2 days for the hangover to fix itself. Well, white people work for the weekend, except their only goal is to eat breakfast on Saturday or Sunday at one of their favorite “breakfast places.”
These places are restaurants that specialize in breakfast food and are usually only open from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. and if you arrive at any time after 9:30, prepare to wait for up to an hour with white people who cannot wait to get vegan pancakes, eggs benedict, waffles, or deluxe french toast.
To a white person, there is no better way to spend a saturday morning than to get up late, around 9:30 and pile into your Audi or Volvo and drive to one of these little places and eat breakfast with friends. Often times these breakfasts last for an hour or more (hence the long lines and wait times).
Some white people take it to the next level and bring their dogs, newspaper or even a laptop.
If you plan on dealing with white people, it would serve you well to know some local breakfast places. This will also come in handy if you pick someone up at 80s night. In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.
Stuff White People Like 
don’t forget to add the new york times (sunday edition) into this mix somehow. i cannot tell you how many white people i know that base all of every single sunday morning around reading this thing in bed with coffee and the dog/husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/tim russert/sunday morning talk shows and making family “catch up” or girly white “gossipy” phone calls in between. usually there is classical music, or whitey folkish stuff in the background (never jazz). it’s amazing how many hoards of people can do the same thing once a week, and read the same stuff and all of them still think of themselves as “hip,” “cool,” “edgy,” or “with it.”
Oh the Sunday NY Times is coming. But it was too soon to post right next to “breakfast places” 🙂
Good work on the suggestion though, good to know people are in sync on this stuff.
you are a genius
p.s. in vancouver it is all about Sunday breakfast, if you go on Saturday, you are a loser
In the south its all about the Waffle house and the Atlanta journal Constitution.
brunch was stolen by white people from the jews when all the goyim stopped going to church. I never had to wait 45 minutes to get a table on a sunday growing up. Now that’s the minimum wait! You focking bastards. I want my lox.
[…] An Ode to the Hangover Breakfast (I want Deep-Fried Lemon Curd French Toast with Blueberries inside me) […]
Breakfast is great, I can cook all kinds of yummy breakfast foods, ham and eggs, various omelets, french toast, bacon, crepes, fresh fruit like strawberries, blueberries and cantaloupe ,belgian waffles… but see, breakfast early sucks, that’s strictly a coffee thing for we of the Caucasian persuasion. A big pig out breakfast , ya gotta sleep in first. Oh, and real coffee, none of this soy latte, light blend crap, must have the strong stuff. Probably people here would think it is espresso, but Greeks drink that all day from like age 12. You want real coffee , you have to go to some little ethnic dive, like an Arabic deli or something- you drink that stuff, you understand how they sit there and just pound that stuff and talk for hours, in between long periods of silence. You just savor that taste , it’s like a ritual, not like sitting around with the soccer cougars at the McStarbucks. You can also have really politically incorrect conversations in public at the Palestinian coffeehouses and no one calls you a Nazi or “racist” . It’s way cool.
Hey up yours, eggs benedict is good stuff!
Or if you’re lucky enough to live in the southeast US, eggs Christopher.
dude, the only thing wrong with this post is that you use the word breakfast. there is no such thing as ‘breakfast’ on the weekends, according to white people. any meal on saturday and sunday after 4:30am and before 4pm is called “brunch.” sometimes a meal after 4pm will still be called “brunch” if the white person/people have only eaten a light snack and coffee beforehand and therefore must go to a restaurant that serves breakfast 24 hours a day.
I agree, you’re obviously not white enough if you don’t know the word “brunch.”
You also forgot to mention that going before 11 am means you’re probably trying to get things done that weekend instead of just lazing around as long as possible and you’re not truly a white person if you go before 11 am. The only exception to this rule is if you never go to bed the night before. Then you can eat brunch between 8 am and 11 am without penalty and are still considered white.
You also forgot to mention that it’s not acceptable to go to a corporate-owned breakfast establishment. Denny’s and other places are not permitted unless you make it clearly obvious that you’re being ironic and “slumming it.” The establishment must specialize in “brunch” but absolutely not in “breakfast” despite the fact that many of the foods are the same. The menu should state “brunch” on it. Places that serve breakfast all day and night might be fun when you’re drunk or high, but are not acceptable for this Sunday event.
It is required that your breakfast food of choice costs in the neighborhood of $20 or more–preferably $30 to $50 for something consisting of easy-to-make flours and starches with some kind of greasy protein or protein substitute included. You will feel better for paying this price although you could make an equivalent dish at home for approximately 95 cents and could cook, eat and clean up in the same time that you wait for a table at a brunch restaurant.
justanotherwhiteguy, marry me? i love atlanta! waffle house is holy in the south. open 24 hrs. serves the sinners (after clubs close) and the saints (after church service is over). also, any all-you-can-eat place is acceptable for weekend breakfast, especially after-church sunday afternoon brunch.
Justanotherwhiteguy is right on the money:
“In the south its all about the Waffle house and the Atlanta journal Constitution.”
PLEASE BELIEVE IT! AND THAT GOES ACROSS ALL RACIAL LINES!
stuffblackpeoplelike – eating watermelon! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – pumping oil! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – gang warfare! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – eating beans! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – shooting heroin! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – welfare! hahaha!!!
stuffjewishpeoplelike – keeping money! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffchinesepeoplelike – eating rice! hahaha!!!
stuffarabpeoplelike – kissing goats! hahaha!!!
stuffmexicanpeoplelike – wearing sombreros! hahaha!!!
stuffblackpeoplelike – sniffing glue! hahaha!!!
aren’t i funny and clever!!!
don’t you dare call me a racist!!!
I’m white and I now know the author of this blog is too. Nonwhite people might know the song “Everybody’s Working for the Weekend” but only white people know the band Loverboy. As far as breakfast places, they don’t all have good free range eggs, so I make my own food because I raise my own chickens. Knowing the author of this blog is white, I no longer care if I’m cool or lame to him.
My son in Spain sent me this link. I guess ’cause I’m a white guy who likes to go out for breakfast every Saturday morning. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Best to find a place where old hippies are welcome and couples with rats and Yuppies feel uncomfortable. Best spot in SLC, SpUtah is Britton’s. Don’t AAs, Asians and Latinos like Saturday morning breakfast also?
Brilliant. This blog is 100% me. I complain that where I live has no good breakfast places for after 80s night. This is only forgiveable in my city because we have lots of 80s nights.
speaking as a latino, we don’t wake up early enough to eat breakfast on the weekends. it’s colada and pan cubano for us, unless we’re hungover, in which case it’s coffee followed by a beer.
Black people eat water in their sugary childrens’ cereal for breakfast. I saw that in a movie once.
You have your finger on the pulse of my soul, dude! It’s the harsh light of truth!
8-P
I’m white. I go to restaurants that serve breakfast 24/7! Breakfast for Lunch? Yep. Breakfast for Dinner? Yep. Breakfast at 2:30 A.M.? Sure why not.
I feel better knowing I’m not a yuppie.
HEY KIDS/WHITE PEOPLE. If you’re ever in Minneapolis, hit up the Sunny Side Up Cafe. Best fecking oatmeal I’ve ever had in my life, and I hate breakfast! (Seriously.)
Also, the Hardtimes Cafe is good too. And it has a buttload of vegetarian/vegan options for those of you who have never known the flavor of delicious, delicious venison.
Madison has the Sunroof Cafe. Which is where ALL the cool little hipsters show up to. Do not attempt to go there on Saturdays before 1 PM.
Wow, wow, wow. Just wow. And the “hours only from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.” bit is so on the money it hurts.
Non-whites go to breakfast, too– the only difference is that they’re on the other side of the counter.
Now stop blocking my water fountain.
I Live right by Sunny Side! You have to add that people mostly walk or bike to these places — they don’t drive there — gotta save the earth. Seward Cafe, French Meadow . . . Minneapolis breakfast . . . . yum yum
But remember, if you’re not white, you will be beaten into unconsciousness in the Denny’s parking lot: http://asianweek.com/082297/morenews.html
guilty. every sunday morning with the family.
[…] enjoying one of his favorite Breakfast Places, waiting for his food to come. Today, of course, it’s Saturday Morning, time to be out with […]
Two words: Kerby Lane
“Don’t AAs, Asians and Latinos like Saturday morning breakfast also?”
Maybe, but we won’t waste 45 minutes standing in crack alley just so we can get into Dottie’s.
Pile into the Priuses, please!
–or better yet, biodeisel Mercedes.
[…] in both Richmond and Charlotte. I discovered in the course of all the dog conversation over brunch (which included coffee, of course!) that their dogs are better outfitted, cared for and fed than […]
You’ve got to be god damned kidding right? Who do you think invented the fried chicken on a waffle (popular in the south)?
Not white people, that’s who.
Nonwhite churchgoers do Sunday breakfast/brunch too.
One of the worst restaurant experiences I ever had was waiting 90 minutes to be seated at a place called Toast in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago (one of Chicago’s whitest neighborhoods). I kept thinking, this food had better be damn good! It was okay at best.
Although lately Lincoln Park has started to turn into a “wrong type of white” area. (Too rich = more Republicans; and with them, banks)
i’m white, and every saturday at 0600 my breakfast place is my couch, with a bowl of oatmeal. same as it is at 0600 every other day of the week.
the first couple posts here were kind of funny, but now it’s beginning to be full of fail
These profiles seem to be more specifically on middle-class hipsters making their transition into yuppies. Marrieds who still do stuff and have sex.
Obviously a single pattern of behavior can’t describe all white people, (Lexington, Kentucky needs its own chapter) but rather a single subgroup of white people that more closely resemble a stereotype.
Hence the fancy brunch place, and not the Waffle House / IHOP / Cheap Diner. I don’t know all of the country, but in New York and the Southeast, those cross age, racial, and (up to a point) class lines. But a brunch place that closes at 2:00? Fuckin *golf* white.
Oh and if you’re ever in Athens, GA, check out The Grit.
yeah, white people sure love their dim sum!
yeah, white people sure love their dim sum!
White people don’t EAT breakfast, they DO brunch. As a non-white person, I have no idea how you do a meal. (like sticking your d*ck in the mashed potatoes?) So confusing!
“In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.”
That is the truest and most beautiful sentiment I’ve ever heard.
An alternative to brunch that will make white people happy and feel good is to visit their local farmer’s market and eat a $7 organic croissant. This will likely also involve taking home a hand-woven bag full of small, brownish apples and some overpriced goat cheese for their omelet the next day.
Alright, I love breakfast as much as most white people. Here in D.C. we have a place called “the Diner” (note the lowercase t in “the”). Nevermind that there are restaurants serving breakfast up and down 18th Street–there is always a huge crowd in front of the Diner waiting for a table. Clearly it is the only legitimate place to eat breakfast, because unlike the other bars up and down the street, it is actually called “the Diner.”
located in the historic arcadia neighborhood of phoenix, we have a place called la grande orange that epitomizes this post. it’s a grocery/bakery/breakfast place which converts to a pizzaria in the afternoon. there’s a designer cake place next door and a gelato shop built right in for the y(oung) u(rban) p(rofessional)s who flock to this place too early in the a.m. on bicycles or by prius with their pups to wait in a line out the door for their croque madame (glorified eggs and toast) glancing at the thursday styles section of NYTimes, making sure not to drip any croque juice on the argyle cycling gear, reading up on the latest blog post on “that genius white people website” with his wi-fi enabled iTouch, and with a radiant smile, feeling one step closer to the ultimate white lifestyle.
sounds familiar. ha ha.
I work at a vegetarian breakfast place. I’m the hippest person of all my facebook friends!
In Toronto we have Cora’s (and it’s even more popular in Montreal) and people f**kin line the streets for that stuff. All dressed up trying to look good…wtf! Has anyone ever gotten laid while eating out for breakfast?
The gross generalization is really amusing. I find myself wanting to argue that not all white people like these things, or that people of other races like these things too, but then i realize that I do like all of this ‘stuff’. A nice chair is one of my favorite things. Nice work…
Guilty. Love my breakfast places. I’m so white.
We forgot to mention the “shittycute” look that must be donned when going on these brunch dates. One cannot look too good, or else it will be obvious that: a) you care; b) you did not have a night of drunken fun the night before; c) you will not fit into the scene that you really are desperate to fit into.
The truth is that many brunch-going white folks spend the night before sleeping early preparing for their brunch date so they have to fake looking ‘partied out’. What white people do is look shittycute. The hair is a bit messy, on purpose. The clothes are a little baggier than usual and usually involve some form of plaid and denim. Nowadays, it is also common to see boots tucked into tights or designer yoga pants. The ladies sometimes make it seem like the mascara under the eye is smudged by mistake, but really, it’s on purpose. THey also wear scarves.The men have stubble. No one can look too good. Shittycute is the only way to for white folks at brunch.
i’ve been reading this blog and passing it on to anyone i think will get a slight kick out of it since my friend from Saskatchewan passed it on to me last week. he’s white and he finds it hilarious.
i read this post and read the comments thinking ‘if i wasn’t so lazy i’d mention cora’s’. #47 was my motivation. people really do PLAN to show up and line up at coras. and pay $10 for parking. i know people who have driven 45 mins from outside the city in order to wait just as long -or longer- to get a seat and have some average breakfast. and our table had the highest population of non-whites in the place. i did see another black person, but it turned out they were joining our party.
ditto for when the bf and i tried to “do” sunday brunch a couple of times last spring. We were east of Toronto, and in 3 different places we tried on 3 different occasions, we were the only black people in the joint. it was the strangest thing in the world. like we accidentally missed the non-white rapture in the night.
i DO know where i can find black/non-white people eating breakfast food 24-7 though. Markham Station. Serving sinners straight from the clubs in their best gear at 2, 3, 4, 5am. you actually have to wait 30 mins if you go at 4am on a Sunday morning.
this is also where you will see cops on break hanging out while 2 carloads of teens beats the crap out of one unarmed teen. in full view of the cops. did i mention they were white cops? and the teen wasn’t? ….white i mean.
and #50 is bang on. in the winter, its the sweats tucked into the damn uggs. in the summer, its flannel or tna or lululemon over furry birkenstock clogs.
i think this breakfast habit is developed/nurtured when white folks go (45mins to 4hrs) Away To University/College. on sundays when the dishes from saturday nights house party still look like sculpture accented with cigarette butts, beer caps and cans of molson, there is nothing more comforting than the thought that all 4-6 of you can pile into your roommate’s inherited corolla and head to the local diner/pancake house/greasy spoon and get a pile of comfort food for whatever change you can scrape from under the car seats. it doesnt matter that it’ll hit your stomach like a brick. it only matters that you’ll have a great memory of getting breakfast together after a night you don’t *quite* remember in its entirety.
i know this from being one of the 2 non-white people in that car. the other was my best friend that i was visiting for the weekend who had gone Away To School.
oddly enough, she stopped doing the breakfast thing when she moved into a house where she wasn’t the minority.
hahah im affluent and white and i love getting in my jetta on saturday morning and going to a $21.95 champers brunch with 5 of my friends and having a lovely breakfast
Don’t think it is Sunroof in Madison, perhaps you are referring to Sunprint.
BTW, most college students or hipsters don’t eat at Sunprint..they prefer greasy spoons like The Curve or The Cleveland Diner.
Here in Scottsdale, we are king of the expensive breakfast: The Breakfast Club, U.S. Egg, and the best The Orange Table..written up in the NYT.
Additionally, if you brunch it must be accompanied by either: bloodies, mimosas, or screwdrivers. What’s the point of getting up “early” if you can’t drink.
Noel, you are so right. The goyim fukked us over. And, they don’t even do it right..where’s the coffee cake? But, for the life of me i can’t figure out what kinda jew names their kid a farkarte name like Noel. 😉
I can’t think of a better way to spend a weekend morning
I am white, but I must not be white enough. That is way too early to wake up on the weekends. Breakfast doesn’t even have particularly good food! I went to college at Illinois and the only breakfast places were IHOP or Perkins, both of which are lame. Maybe that’s why I haven’t gotten in the habit. I’m now in suburban Chicago and still spend my early afternoons after waking up either near a toilet in case of sudden projectile vomit or at my computer eating leftovers.
Can’t get any better than eating breakfast at a place called Cheapo Fillippo’s. Yes, its really called that and its really awesome. Its also owned by two white folks.
O.k., so I’m white and I LOVED reading this one. I absolutely refuse to go to these long-line breakfast places… it’s simply not worth it. In fact, my friends and I make fun of the other white people standing in these lines.
Breakfast places aren’t the only places where white people will stand in line for 45 minutes, either. If I ever find myself with the desire to patronize any such place, I always plan a drive-by to check, what we call, “the cracker count.”
I had no idea anyone else, white or otherwise, ever noticed this.
I actually hate Breakfast Places. The service is usually rude if you are not white! But, if you are sitting with a large, and I mean large group of white people, then i guess if you are non-white you will be considered civilized! “what syrup with your pancakes, Tumba?”
I can’t believe all of the people who love these generalizations. This is a small minority of white Americans not white people. You have to have a lot of money to be able to do most of these things. Most white people in america are middle class and poor. They don’t have the money or time to do any of these things.
Guilty. I have breakfast at the same breakfast place every Sunday morning 😦
Keep up the great work.
Just gotta say that Waffle House totally rocks but we don’t have them here in the Northwest. Sad for me. Where else you can eat grits and smoke a cigarette at the same time?
Just got this blog from a VSL link and I’ll probably pass it along to a half dozen fellow whitey’s before the weekend is over. Hell, I’m too white to even come up with a clever screen name but I’m still laughin’ about how close to home some of these are.
I do have to question item 52, though. Sarah Silverman? Really? Someone out there actually enjoys that?
We love our dogs but not to the extent that I’d kiss them on the mouth; that’s truly gross. You know what they eat?
Can’t do without my coffee but I only go the starbuck’s when nothing else is convenient – they burn the beans.
For all you people yangin’ on about the rascist undertones and the fact that not ALL these things are liked by ALL white people – Get over it. Laugh at what’s funny and ignore what’s not. I haven’t worked my way through all the items yet but the comments seem to be where the real offensive material is at. Maybe if we were all a little more tolerant of other people’s viewpoints…oh, wait, I forgot that freedom of speech only applies to those with the right opinions. never mind.
In Vancouver the best spot to eat your hangover brekky is at The Roundal Cafe on Hastings, and in Whistler, its The Creekside Diner.
I’m reading this on my laptop at my favorite breakfast place and am about to send the link via email to my wife who is sitting with me reading news on her own laptop. Does that get me extra points?
Add 1 whitey point if you call it “brunch”
Add 2 whitey points if it’s on Sunday and you bring the NYT to read
Add 3 whitey points if the your dining companion is the hipster you picked up at the bar the night before
Five points for ordering either a mimosa or coffee with soy milk!!
Did anyone mention REAL maple syrup? (I know that’s redundant, but that’s where we’ve come in this society). Waffle House tip: Heat up a bottle of maple syrup in the microwave just as you leave home. Wrap the Sunday paper around it so it stays warm and you can smuggle it in without drawing envious/curious glances. Order waffle and then pour it on. And if you’re really serious, save your pats of REAL butter (I know, redundant) from other restaurants and bring them with you. That “butter spread” they have sucks.
my black friends enjoy breakfast very much.
“if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.”
Note : Sexual intercourse between the two events may or may not be required for relationship to kick in.
It’s sad, but I do enjoy sitting at a breakfast restaurant and reading the newspaper with family on a Saturday. Oh well.
I’m asian, I like breakfast places! They’re great way to spend a relaxing morning and chill out. If it’s a nice day, even better!
Asian people do it too…just with different food haha.
If you’re in Vancouver, try out The Flying Swan on 4th and Fir. It’s a small, but homely family runned breakfast place.
Waking up early enough on the weekends to eat out at a local breakfast hole in the wall that has fabulous food might be the highlight of my weekend. Followed by a hike. I am so caucasion.
[…] from an anthropological perspective, writing in-depth about things like Bottles of Water, The Wire, Breakfast Places and Threatening to Move to […]
“These places are restaurants that specialize in breakfast food and are usually only open from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.”
Not in Montreal, whose anglophone population are some of the worst examples of the hipster behavior this blog describes. There, if you go *before* 2:00 p.m. you’re not cool, because it means you got up before noon.
(Or you might be francophone, which gives you a free pass on not being cool, since hipster behavior is really just an anglo thing).
I think you should add Bloody Mary’s to this list. I love working at my Breakfast Place to watch white people come in on weekend mornings and act like they just cant get through their day if they dont start with a Bloody Mary. They walk in like the living dead, in their outdoor performance clothes, sometimes with their apple laptop, sometimes with their gay friends or parents they hate and basically collapse on the floor until they take that first sip of a Bloody.
And it doesnt matter if I make it fancy, spicy, cheap vodka or not, they sip that first sip and every single one of them will close their eyes and coo sensually, “Ooooooooh, that’s a good Bloody.” And they will all talk to each other, and to me, about how they just can’t get going without a Bloody. If I had a nickel for every time a white person says Bloody to me in the course of their time at my establishment, I wouldn’t be a fucking bartender. In a gentrified neighborhood. Where we have 80’s night. And indie music.
[…] 4. Brunch (because I apparently I can’t help it. Everyone’s working for their breakfast […]
Ha ha! Excellent and on the money.
So on the money, in fact, I’m writing this after returning from brunch a couple of hours ago. God help me, I was even reading the NY Times while “doing brunch”.
Mine was a lonely meal, though, since I went by myself. Whoops, I broke the pattern, maybe there’s hope for me, after all.
If you’re in Seattle try the Blue Star Cafe (http://www.yelp.com/biz/eggs-ceteras-blue-star-cafe-seattle#hrid:R3PgDjjFSd9oUHGx9uBqKA/query:eggs). Great food and Sunday specials on Bloody Marys and Mimosas.
[…] #36 – Breakfast Places […]
[…] cinnamon rolls in my Kitchenaid stand mixer so we can have our gay friends who are parents over for brunch, coffee, and some discussion of the Sunday New York Times while listening to indie music via our […]
Ayanna, Markham Station is THE place!
Greasy and sloppy for onlky $4.99!
They must be PRINTING money in that place- it’s always busy.
I just found out about this blog and I have been ROLLING with laughter all evening.
Thanks C. Lander.
lol this one is so true
Sure I like these places but I prefer making my own breakfast. A real Southern breakfast with plenty of grease and cooked in a iron skillet.
It is acceptable for whites to go to a breakfast spot like Denny’s or IHOP and eat BREAKFAST on the condition that a weekend project like planting a rose bush or working on our deck is in the works. This is so we can get to Home Depot early to avoid the masses:)
But you’ve got a number of white people that skip breakfast completely on weekends. They’re just not into the eggs/toast/bacon or sausage/hashbrowns/ concept that’s common at these breakfast places. They get drunk all night then don’t eat anything until 2 or 3 in the afternoon. I’ve seen it!
Breakfast, and especially pancakes, are a white thing.
Fuck yeah, i live for brunch!!
There is a book entitled “Chineese Resturants Don’t Serve Brekfast”.
I doffel that you should understand the difference between Brunch and a Brekfast place which I would define as a place which open early and close no later than 3:00 P.M.
It generally servers lunch but not supper.
yo nobody gets up for breakfast at 930. but i do love breakfast places…
I notice a lot of white people bring their kids to breakfast places. I think one of the main reasons white people ‘do’ breakfast is to compare their children in terms of intelligence/manners. Today I saw a child order something called a ‘Baby-cino’, however this was more of a coffee style place. This distresses me a great deal.
Hey, Mikey.
There are no children at brunch in Manhattan.
I have never seen an entire city populated with “breakfast places” until I went to Montreal for the first time. And it was awesome. Petit dejeuner all the way!!!
I’m white and I like that white people like self depracating humor and good ol fashioned reverse racsim. Ha!
[…] #36 Breakfast Places […]
[…] #36 Breakfast Places […]
if you’re out for breakfast instead of hungover and fucking someone, there’s a good chance you’re a loser.
wow, youre just stupid, cause no one is saying that white people like to do terrible things, like you have listed for “other” people. theres a difference between saying a white person likes coffee, vs a black person liking shooting heroine. in fact, white people are the biggest users of drugs.
since white people like money, and black people dont right?
youre right, youre not racist, just stupid.
The truest White people I know eat breakfast at their golf course/country club restaurant after playing 18 holes on either Saturday or Sunday mornings. And it’s Men Only; real White Women cannot play golf and do not bother clogging up the course. Thank you.
I pooped my pants
is this your only social outlet? posting non-sequitur responses to tongue-in-cheek blog entries?? you are a fucking dipshit. go away.
and we should care why?
this is about white people. stop making everything about yourself you self absorbed latinos.
The Waffle House is to breakfast what Mighty Dog is to steak.
My Sunday breakfast is standing in line at the neighborhood Circle K for my pack of unfiltered Camels and a sleeve of Snowballs. I couldn’t be any more hip unless I buy a snowboard.
The dumpster behind the Waffle House is also all-you-can-eat. Plus, it won’t make you as sick as the fresh Waffle House fare.
I laughed so hard after ready your post I almost knocked over by Dungeons and Dragons board.
Yes.
I just ate brunch at a place called Taloola in Arlington, Va. This is without a doubt one of the “breakfast places” white people like.
Every person within a 200 meter radius was white and there was even an all-white bridal shower taking place as well….
[…] #36 Breakfast Places* […]
I’m white and I hate breakfast.
Most breakfast meals make me want to puke.
Where I come from, people who go out to eat on the Sabbath (sunday, not saturday you freakin jews) are sinners and breaking a commandment.
Of course, if you are going to be white, Matt’s Big Breakfast is the best place to stand outside of for 2 hours in Phoenix on Sat morning.
and this is why i despise the south and can’t wait to move back north.
I used to be a food-runner at one of those places. You should have seen some of the cockknobs asking for “extra avocado” and “egg-white omletes cooked with no oil” How I put up with that job I’ll never know, but my saliva glands sure got a workout garnishing the meals of some the worst offenders.
That makes one
They’re bite-size!
I just pooped my man diaper pants
[…] #36 Breakfast Places […]
Oh man, this one just makes me sad. When did white people capitalize breakfast? I’m brown, but more than that I’m an early-twenties heavy drinker. I require greasy hangover delicious breakfast foods and lots of water and coffee on weekends.
[…] (and Moms, natch). Across the street is Madrona park, thus completing the neighborhood trifecta: breakfast place, coffee place, and somewhere to take the […]
I think this whole weird breakfast thing was carried over by the British, what with their strange tomato, blood pudding, sausage meals.
I understand the concept breakfast foods very late at night or as a substitute for other meals, but really, what’s the point of having a weekend if you still get up at seven?
True story. Me and my friends never make it to our breakfast place until after noon on the weekends…haha, but we’re in college, what reason do we have to wake up early on the weekends?? Luckily our place serves breakfast all day long!
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Justice, Truth, and Equality?
http://www.survival-international.org
P.S. Very good point, Trina!
We are using “hungover” as an establishment of people who aren’t losers?!?
America, we got issues… not that that’s news or anything. I’m just saying.
I thought the definition of “hip”, “cool”, “edgy” or “with it” was “hoards of people doing the same thing”. Man, I am so white.
Given that you like to leave out key facts in your quest of propaganda, allow me to offer my interpretation of what you are attempting to slam me for liking:
1. Breakfast is something we need to eat when we wake up, it’s the most important meal of the day.
2. We need a place to eat it, as we cannot exist outside the boundaries of space and time.
3. I do not have one set place for ewating said breakfast, hence any place is a breakfast place to me.
4. You are wrong. Again.
Damnit, a typo. That was ‘eating’, people.
Not ‘ewating’.
‘Eating’.
[…] Café da manhã em restaurante (#36) […]
its a her
soccer cougars. i love.
Bluebird in Atlanta…
Now don’t forget to wipe.
As for the topic at hand:
During the period of ages 23 to 28, I don’t think I was sober for a single weekend. That would extend into the week if, God help me, a holiday fell on any one weekend.
Breakfast is for pansy who can’t take the hangover.
Sunday meant Church, in which I would sleep in one of the back pews while the missus made I was up for the Eucharist. My Sunday drinking began with the Blood of Christ.
Crazy little jew really knew how to get a party started. 😛
[…] Expensive Brunch with jerk friends $25 Ceasars to get over hangover $20 Renting Season 2 of Sex and the City 12.00 (by this point I don’t need someone to rent it for me) Bottle of Wine at off-sales because liquor stores are closed 20.00 Therefore If I was not at track my pocket would have 483.50 less dollars, instead I earned 338.70 […]
821 Cafe is an institution in Richmond. I have never been there when it’s not crammed to the brim with people eating breakfast. Especially hangover breakfast. The biscuits and gravy are probably the greatest thing I have ever put in my face and I wonder how anyone could live without it. It’s strange, I started having serious Sunday breakfasts with friends a few years back and I have to wonder if it was some mid-20’s cracker genetic code activating. Like I reached a certain age and all of my incurable whiteness came out at once. I think this might be the case, as I’m currently a little hung over from a dinner party last night.
[…] Our schedules have gotten so wacky that we’ve taken to meeting for pho at 10 a.m. It’s fascinating how distressing some people find this concept. Pho can be a breakfast food, silly people. Keeps reminding me of the amusing entry on Stuff White People Like about “breakfast places.” […]
did you read the post about white people who love to correct others? yeah…
HAHHAHHA so true!!! They may alternate brunch with farmer’s market since they are ‘open’ at the same hours. HAHHAHAHAH so fuckin true!
don’t let the door hit you on the way out
As a biracial woman who hasn’t dated any white guys I am so jealous of the Sunday paper and brunch routine. I long to wake up at a late but decent hour (9ish) with my guy, read the Sunday Times over tea, then head out to a breakfast spot for a leisurely brunch where I will have coffee. See I drink tea at home and coffee only once in a while. Since every one else drinks coffee being a tea drinker makes me just a bit hipper than the average yuppie. Pretty white I’d say.
I have to agree with the earlier commentator that we Brits bear some culpability for the whole cooked breakfast malarkey. On the other hand you guys with your pancakes, waffles, maple syrup, hash browns and OMG – steaks; know a thing or two about dining in the morning. Not to mention your *brunch*. And what the heck is wrong with a Bloody Mary? Incidentally the pub right next to my house received Our Pub of the Year Award. And those guys put a shot of sherry in the BM. Now that is a proper drink. My only rule for this type of carry on is that there must in no circumstances be any children to disturb me as I read the Sunday (London) Times. All those revolting 4×4 Volvo drivers in their wellies with smelly jackets, horrid dogs and savant children should do the decent thing and go down to Barnes leaving the adults in peace. The real purpose of all this breakfast meeting thing is to pass an hour or two until our pubs open when we can start proper Sunday morning activity. In my – very travelled – experience the Germans serve the worst breakfast on the planet. No class at all. Followed by the Swedes.
You spit on someone’s food just because they asked for extra avocado? I hope that you have since left the service industry.
What is a ‘protein substitute’…
For HaterOfAll…
God, grant me the
SERENITY
to accept the things
I cannot change,
COURGAE
to change the things
I can and the
WISDOM
to know the difference.
For C.Wright.Thru.U.
God, grant me the
SERENITY
to accept the things
I cannot change,
COURGAE
to change the things
I can and the
WISDOM
to know the difference.
oops COURAGE!
oops COURAGE
oOOPS COURAGE!!!
How about a good ol’ down home Shoneys Breakfast Buffet?
I love how when people comment it seems to prove the guy’s point even more.
Fabulous, I love breakfast.
couldn’t be more true and i have an Audi… white people love audi’s
Greasy meat! Greasy meat! Like a zombie, I make my way to the purveyors of heart attacks on plates!
It is true… I’m white enough to be on Brady Bunch and I love breakfast places.
It’s so nice to sit and have someone cook you breakfast while you discuss something cosmically irrelevant (such as this really cool building that’s no longer getting demolished near where you used to live) with the person across from you.
Bonus points if you look nice while you’re at it (as we all know, white people look a bluish shade of haggard when they wake up), bonus points x10 if you’ve walked or biked to the breakfast place.
— j
hmm… doesn’t help that I come from a long line of Volvo owners.
I guess I can really relate to this one! Now if I could only afford a Volvo. 🙂 By way the way, I have a breakfast site, http://www.picsofbreakfast.com , so if any of you white people would like to submit a picture of your breakfast, please do so. In the mean time I’m going to keep reading about white people.
What are they supposed to do? Leave their kids at home alone? Shit, everyone has to eat breakfast, including kids & parents.
The first meal you eat after waking, whether you wake at 7 am or 2 pm is breakfast & we all eat; that is one thing all people have in common. 3 Cheers for Breakfast!!
[…] #36 Breakfast Places […]
everyone knows all the best breakfast places are 24 hours! and you don’t go at nine in the morning. who’s even up then? you go at three AM.
Damn straight, Ava. You go, girl!
I only go to breakfast places that have the colorful chalkboards with the breakfast specials neatly printed and accented with illustrations of flowers or mountainscapes. Let’s not forget colorful often hand made ceramic dishes and cups, coffee is organic free range and self service, waitresses with 2+ piercings and flashy tatoos. I love to frequent these places on saturday mornings after hot yoga but before going hiking to the farmers market with my trekking poles and black lab.
that is so true there is a breakfast place in oldtown thats only open for 5 hours and is always packed
I love free range coffee
[…] a weblog with, you guessed it, pictures of breakfast. Awesome. See also: Breakfast Places (at Stuff White People […]
Our little place is called tinytique. Fabulous french toast. home tapped maple syrup.
[…] a somewhat stereotypical white person, I love breakfast. It is my favourite meal of the day. There’s nothing so good as getting up […]
[…] Breakfast. Breakfast with others. […]
This blog is hysterical…. lol
I like going to the diner with my female friend who’s a veggie…I get an egg white omlet. We both drink green tea and everybody stares at her.
I like going to the diner with my male friend and only eating the crispy parts of the home-fries.
I do love breakfast but I don’t like to go out to eat for it. All of the pancakes or eggs or whatever makes me sleepy for the rest of the day!! If i eat breakfast at home I’m fine.
[…] Breakfast. Breakfast with others. […]
i’ve posted elsewhere but i have to post it again…this stuff is hilarious.
I wonder if breakfasts like this are done elsewhere in the world?
hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahah
That doesn’t sound very white
Here in trendy North Brooklyn full of white hipsters who own Apple products, it’s called BRUNCH.
That’s late teen/early twenties white people.
When you’re older, you go to the designer breakfast ‘diners’ with the colourful chalkboard menus et al. described earlier to relive the greasyspoon 3 am post club breakfasts you used to have …
… sheesh.
Chicago is breakfast spot central–see Logan Square.
Yeah, we do love our brunch/breakfast here in the Windy City.
For the record, I’m black and I love nothing more than waking up on Sunday morning (and harassing my boyfriend to get up) and having someone else cook me french toast, waffles or pancakes.
New Orleans will have a Vegetarian Soul restaurant that will serve healthy food options. The restaurant is named Big Shirley’s of New Orleans @ 1434 South Carrollton ave.
Perfect Breakfast place in Chappel Hill NC = Fosters Market
“To a white person, there is no better way to spend a saturday morning than to get up late, around 9:30 and pile into your Audi or Volvo and drive to one of these little places and eat breakfast with friends.”
How ’bout getting up at 6 and going out to breakfast after chores are done, say, around 9:30?
Geez! Calm down tools. I really don’t think this is the kind of site that warrants endorsements of random restaurants.
To a white person!! ?? you narrow minded, and ignorant individual… oh I forgot you’re probably from the deep south, yeah I heard many of you folks out there still in the era of the civil war….
Well there you go, messing up black food by making it healthy. If black people start eating healthy, we might live longer and date more white girls, making more mixed kids and more uncomfortable white grand parents, who have no idea who to leave their money to, or how to braid girls hair. Also if we live longer, we will get longer prison sentences and keep the prison system funded for years to come…I detect conspiracy!
I live in New York, and since there is nothing that white people love better than New York, imagine how special weekend brunch is in New York!!! Each weekend, whether it is a hurricane or if it is a 100 year blizzard, white people will congregate in one of a few places that they have collectively decided are good for brunch like Friend of a Farmer, Penelope, Prune, or Clinton Street Baking Company and they will wait for two hours or more for some minor variation of eggs and toast. There may be a restaurant one door down which is almost identical but if it hasn’t been anointed it isn’t worth going to.
One of the greatest mysteries of white people is the fact that they love breakfast places even though they may generally detest breakfast as concept, much less a meal (for proof, read some of the other comments). They will happily eat high-fat, high-carb foods on weekends, but on weekdays, anything but a power bar and diet Coke consumed in the car on the way to work is revolting.
Exceptions to this distaste may be muesli or some other “healthy” food-like grain or low-fat yogurt, so long as no effort is required in its preparation. Other exceptions are when staying in a hotel with a breakfast buffet, where they will pass up the oatmeal and fruit for the high-fat breads, muffins, sausages, bacon, and eggs.
Part of this weekday aversion to real food is contempt for the people who perform physical labor in the morning and need at hot meal to start the day. Being acquainted with no one who has such a job, or who has the discipline to get up early enough to prepare a proper meal, they consider any such meal as contributing to the obesity problem.
Even better if the breakfast place has an intentionally ugly or “ironic” decor; nirvana if its a true greasy spoon, sort of like an a.m. version of going to a dive bar.
Brilliant!
Just one flaw. I’m pretty sure everyone knows how to braid girl’s hair? Even my dad would braid my hair sometimes before school if my mom was too busy..
If you want breakfast or #1 Coffee in London on Saturday morning, forget it – the place will be full of ‘Babyccinos’ who’ve bought little Daisy and Rufus out for free cups of froth. This requires at least two tables and a minimum stay of one hour, and only takes place in tiny family-run Italian cafes where they ‘know the owner, Luigi’.
Are you addressing Richard or “clander”, who, apparently, authored the original article?
You DO realize that quotation marks are used when one is quoting someone else?
Or couldn’t you be bothered reading the entire article?
”I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every 24 hours and mine is breakfast. In Hong Kong, Dallas, or at home — and regardless of whether or not I have been to bed — breakfast is a personal ritual that can only be properly observed alone, and in a spirit of genuine excess. The food factor should always be massive: four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crepes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon or corned beef hash with diced chilies, a Spanish omlette or eggs Benedict, something like a slice of key lime pie, two margaritas and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert. . . right, and there should also be two or three newspapers, all mail and messages, a telephone, a notebook for planning the next 24 hours, and at least one source of good music. . . all of which should be dealt with outside, in the warmth of a hot sun, and preferably stone naked.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson
Great place to eat breakfast in Kansas City. Tons of white people.
http://www.yelp.com/biz/mamas-39th-st-diner-kansas-city
Magnolia Cafe!
This is cracking me up. Mainly because it’s true. I dated an entertainment attorney in Nashville and at least once a month we’d end up meeting friends for breakfast at Le Peep in Belle Meade which is the center of Nashville “old” money. One of the items is the “Oke Doke Artichokee”.
I have no energy to move my masseter and temporalis muscles upon waking. Even sipping coffee is quite an undertaking, albeit a necessary one. People who start their day off with a bowl of soup have the right idea though. It’s a fast and painless way to get through the gruesome beginning of the day.
Have to disagree on this one, Mark. Most white people I know abhor the mere thought of lowering themselves to “dine” in a true greasy spoon. They’d rather leave that sort of socioeconomic humiliation to “hicks like us”
OMG that is so funny…. I lived in Nashville for years and years and used to eat at the Belle Meade Le Peep after hiking Percy Warner red trail on Saturday and/or Sunday morning….
No, not everyone knows how to braid hair in the context that he was speaking.
The best is going to the Blue Moon Cafe in Fell’s Point (Baltimore), where multiple simultaneous white behaviors can be observed.
No bullshitting, I actually saw a girl there one Saturday morning wearing outdoor performance clothes (#87), talking on her iPhone (#40) to what I can only assume was another white person about “The Wire” (#85). She ordered a vegan muffin (#32). She left when I did, and got into a Volkswagen Jetta (should be #121), the official car of white people under 30.
I’m tellin’ ya, it is the very nexus of whiteness!!
Hey I am from Baltimore too and don’t notice so much of these behaviors. Honestly I don’t get the point of this website though it IS hilarious. I think better places to observe “white people” around Baltimore is the Boulevard Diner in Dundalk, the Outback Steakhouse in Canton or Towson Town Center. Honestly probably no place represents the “white” lifestyle better though than Ellicott City especially the McMansions on its outskirts.
Depends on the neighborhood, I suppose… Fed Hill, Canton, and Charles Village all seem to exude the whiteness factors defined on this blog. Get out to Essex, Dundalk, or Glen Burnie, and you’re right — stereotypical rich white liberal behavior isn’t very prevalent (because most of the people in those burbs are not rich or liberal).
And if you live in Baltimore, I’m sure you’ll agree with me that, without a doubt, Columbia is ground-zero for “Stuff White People Like” in the state of Maryland. Possibly in the entire hemisphere (excluding San Francisco and Greenwich Village NYC, of course…) 🙂
Wow. I just saw my childhood flash before my eyes when I read this. Every single weekend of my young life was spent standing in line waiting for overpriced breakfast when I could have been watching cartoons. I didn’t know that it was actually just part of my heritage at work. My parents were helpless NOT to take us to an overpriced breakfast place. I suppose when I have white children of my own, it’ll be up to me to carry on the tradition; much like placing money from the tooth fairy under a pillow or southbound migratory patterns of birds.
I’m willing to bet you IHOP makes most of it’s money from the blacks.
[…] https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/28/36-breakfast-places/ Copyright © 2008 | Hannah Kokjohn • Subscribe to RSS Feed […]
I work at Blue Moon Cafe and have for over 8 months. It is a white person mecca. I do feel the need to slightly defend this really white girl. We do not serve muffins and NOTHING in there is vegan. Go across the street to Liquid Earth for your vegan muffin before clogging your arteries with sausage gravy and Cap’n Crunch French Toast…it is delicious though.
Two years ago, they really did have giant muffins.
I don’t know if it was a one-off thing, because I spend all of my time there throwing down the awesome hash browns and biscuits.
Guilty. For all you San Diegans, check out Harry’s in La Jolla. Best breakfast in the city.
You know you started off good about the drinking thing but went south with all that preppy talk… See You left out the Waffle House… Open 24-7.. That caters to the Drunkerd and kids afflicted with grandpas Magic Herbs. Its a great time! All the coffee you can drink and all the comforts of a smoke filled restruaunt…yes you can smoke at the waffle house. Still Serving yall in Texas.
I love eggs benedict. There is nothing better than going out on a Saturday to get some awesome eggs benedict.
IHOP isn’t the kind of place this article is reffering to
For all you San Diegans, I counter Adam’s suggestion with the Old Town House in OB!
Oh god I love a fry-up! Definitely an English thing 😀
I am currently in one of these morning-after, breakfast place-induced relationships. The night before we were at a kickball-related happy hour. (See #102 under SWPL.)
Sorry, but I’m a white lion same as the lions on the African plain & can’t live like a baboon. If “they” try to make me into a baboon, someone is going to get eaten, maybe as breakfast .
Al
haha yeah definitely not
I wait tables at an upscale breakfast place and it’s PACKED every weekend. People will wait hours to eat, which is beyond me….I mean, the food’s good, but it’s not that good. And on Sunday mornings it’s like a white person convention. Terrific money tho if you tolerate the craziness.
I never heard the one where you were in a relationship no question if you went to breakfast after 80s night. That gave me a chuckle, I thought 80’s night party whities only hooked up.
Not only breakfast but breakfast with Mimosas, the only legit way to drink alcohol early in the morning. Maybe we aren’t cool enough to be hungover Saturday mornings but make up for it with champagne brunches at the local Crepe place.
[…] 5. Farmers Markets 6. Organic food 13. Tea 23. Microbreweries 24. wine 32. vegan/vegetarianism 36. breakfast places 42. sushi 45. Asian fusion food 48. wholefoods and grocery co-ops 54. Kitchen gadgets 63. […]
[…] me Whitey, but I like to go out to eat for breakfast. I even write a blog about it. I swear I have eaten […]
I’ve never heard of this one….breakfast places?
I’ve never heard of this one….breakfast places? I understand the dogs and laptop part…lol
I don’t understand this one at all. WEAK!
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
Load up das volvo or das saab and eat 25 dollar brakefast–this is a weak category. because orientals and blacks eat brakefast too. i don’t know if they spend alot though.
Nice!!
This is insane. IS this site written from my city??? (Louisville, KY) The cool “trendy” part of my town, has Irish Pubs, vegan restaurants, thrift shops, microbreweries, and expensive breakfast places where you have to wait an hour to eat. All of the wanks feel superior for living or going to this part of town. Hilarious site, dead on ………
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on weekend breakfast outings.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
Thats witty
[…] only issue is in San Francisco with brunch is that it is considered The Shit and so anywhere you go from Friday to Sunday to brunch your ass off, there are all those who have […]
This post is totally the Urban Caucasian Mother:
http://youareamerica.wordpress.com/2009/07/12/urban-caucasian-mother/
I am an Asian American who grew up in Manhattan Beach, an affluent city in southern California largely populated by white yuppies. Despite my upbringing, I have remained resolutely committed rejecting all things yuppie. However, I must admit that I fall victim to this entry. I love breakfast places. But c’mon breakfast is the most important meal of the day and I’m vegetarian and omelettes are great for protein. Oh yeah and most white people in my hometown drive a mercedes to their breakfast place of choice.
Or a Lexus or BMW SUV.
How come you didn’t make a category for “white people enjoy white stereotypes.” White people do like to make fun of other white people and they even enjoy when black comedians talk about white people. I swear it’s true. We cannot get upset about being offended because of what history tells us. Ha!
Okay, this website is hilarious! I’m white. White people who are offended by this stuff are uptight losers.
One thing though…how come when white people make fun of black people (Hispanic, Asian, etc…), we’re automatically racist, but black people (Hispanic, Asian, etc…) can make fun of us free of consequences?
Juusssstttt a thought.
Well…my Mom is originally from Redondo Beach in the ’50s. She can’t recognize the towns today like Hermosa beach, Lawndale, Gardena or Torrance. Yeah, the time when her section (Clifton) was largely blue-collar/working-class area and many of her neighbors are Asian or Hispanic, plus her father is a transplanted American Indian from Oklahoma. Her experiences in Sou. Cal. before the rise of yuppiedom meant a year’s income of $4,000 could pay off the rent, but in 2009 the cost of a condo PER month exceeds that. +
I heard of the term UCM before when I was on the bus stop heading home when a group of black men (20-30ish) was like “UCM in 3 o’clock, pay no attention”. I’m like “Huh? Tell me again”. They reply the codeword for an upscale white woman with a spell of laughter. She nearly matched the photo in the link. Thanks! +
Sounds like Palm Desert to me, but I reminisce a time when it was a desert surrounded by a few homes and golf clubs with 10,000 people, today has 50,000 (in wintertime it can double). They certainly don’t have a Denny’s but a MCD’s hardly anyone comes into. What about McCafe lattes, chicken salads & the choice of eating out in a recession? +
I’m in my late 20’s, and from my surprise: the best looking (and personality) women I knew seem to be older, but I’m just going by biology on chasing ones ages 20 to 27. +
I know a joke about poor families’ choice of breakfast:
“What do you call a Black (or Chicano/redneck) breakfast? A twinkie and a HI-C/tang/Hawaiian punch”.
I had different breakfasts in my trips to France, England and Mexico before, to also proof no matter the different foods eaten, everyone has breakfast in the waking hours. Roasted tomatoes, chorizo con heuvos and grey tea. +
Jeff my man, keep on your racist remarks and you’re gonna find yourself unable to reply on this blog again. xD Denny’s is more popular, the one restaurant sued for discrimination in the past 40 years involving black customers, like the 1993 case of two FBI agents, both African-American, in a Baltimore, Md. Denny’s… and guess what? yep, busted! +
Keep spreading the word and you’ll have black people by the likes of Oprah, Will Smith, Derek Jeter, Alan Keyes and who knows? the president coming in too. You gotta get the Yen and Yuan, Asian tourists may come by the hordes. +
[…] lives in Florida now but one of our traditions when we lived together was Sunday brunch (See Stuff White People Like #36). I don’t really even like breakfast foods and tend to only eat fruit in the morning anyway, […]
Dots Diner in Boulder, CO. is sooo good. but i don’t always feel comfortable being served by obese sweaty waitresses with hairy arm pits and cooks with long dread locks hanging over the food…..this is the one on 28th st. the food is still great though! ..for now.
Omelette Parlor- Costa Mesa, CA. “Fur Sure” haha
[…] with nothing better to do save wait. Brunch isn't just a meal, an enduring dining convention white people like — along with modern furniture, Apple products, and other stuff. Today, it's a state of mind, and a […]
LOL I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and I must admit it’s just as funny!!
I guess you can call me poor white trash who likes dogs to ravage my ass….
I heard the term PWT before and I thought of the real Michael D. I also heard the term buttmunch, dumbass, identity thief and loser. Did I get them all, nah, I will continue later.
yoink
Pah, true white folk read the Observer!
Yea I do that here in Auckland NZ. K’rd is full of fucking hipsters.
Though I don’t like being over charged for my scrammbled eggs, I usually make it worth while and buy something I’d be to fucking useless to make. Either than or I buy cake for breakfast. Mmmm Cake and Coffee!
This is so true it’s sad. I live near Laguna Beach and one day my Asian father recommended we go eat breakfast at a place a co-worker had suggested. The food consisted of dry muffins, overpriced quiche, and eggs benedict, and the ambiance was SUPER white, with many people looking at my little Asian family inquisitively, wondering why we had encroached upon their territory. Haha needless to say, after that experience I try to avoid these snooty breakfast places with crappy food :]
i noticed this phenomenon, when i started seeing huge QUEUES on saturday mornings outside ‘the breakfast club’ in islington. all groups in couples, or all girl groups, noone over 40, everybody white, or a ‘token’ with all white friends. when did it become cool to eat eggs? what’s wrong with a fry up at a greasy spoon cafe?
“‘The Breakfast Club’ drives me fucking mad, I’m with you vandross, it’s just a fucking fucking fry-up!! don’t make it a social event to have breakfast. Do these people not realise that pubs are usually open at that time of day?
I love how they say “Some white people take it to the next level and bring their dogs, newspaper or even a laptop.”
I saw white people bring their newspapers and laptops, but a dog? wtf freaks
Yup I sure do love breakfast places ‘cept I take my prius and my 5 year old.
how can you not love it when its $2.95
ps. I’m white!!
The song is titled “Working for the Weekend”. Also, how are your attempts at learning English going? Well, I hope!
I love breakfast. And as I read this all I could think was “I am so white.”
suck ur moms dick u fk face loser bitch
A true standard in comedy blogging.
Another great site is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
You are making me sooo hungry, thank god I made myself a sandwich after that article that was absolutely right about me and my people loving our fancy sandwiches, yum!
[…] Breakfast Places (my mom saved something I wrote in first grade that said I liked it when she would take me out to Breakfast…to this day we have favourite breakfast places that we go to, know all the waitresses and the owner etc… damnit) […]
You forgot a few things:
1. Only one hour? I’ve seen people wait up to 3 hours for breakfast at these joints if they have a party of 5 or more (Portland)
2. The food is usually inversely as good as to the wait/line and proportional to the cost. The longer the line – the worse the food usually is; but the more it costs. Oh, it’s made from locally grown organic whatever – but it usually tastes like cardboardy garbage.
3. There’s usually another local/towny place that looks a touch more like a Denny’s around the corner; still home-made (and usually tastes better); but with no line, takes 10 minutes to get your food, and costs 1/4 the price. But that’s not white enough.
hah, funny I have my own Saturday morning ritual, but me and my white friends go to a small Thai place. Service is slow, you are there for an hour at least, but the food is T-riffic!
Haha I love this, the guy I’m seeing took me out for breakfast this morning and the two local organic brunch places nearby were both jam-packed… I had forgotten how much white people LOVE brunch!!
I agree. Pancakes and french toast are just as many or even more calories than a piece of cake
love to eat out Saturday mornings…creative dishes, eclectic places…eggs with unusual add-ons, fruits, vegies
know about the hotel restaurants, place on Rosewood Drive that makes the best omelet with anything you want added, Shoney’s, Rosewood Market, Cafe Strudel….
know of any more? thanks!
Ms. Wally Jean Stone must live in Columbia, South Carolina. Cafe Strudel is awful.
by the way, if you’re looking for additional breakfast places in Columbia, try out DiPrato’s or do Sunday brunch at Harpers in Five-Points. If you really like to overspend, try out the Gourmet Shop (also in Five-Points).
[…] just answered my own question: because it’s flippin’ hilarious. See #36: Breakfast Places for an example: In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast […]
[…] of beautiful women | Leave a Comment Every relationship has celebrated milestones. Like getting brunch together after dancing it up at 80s night, few things cement the “this is getting serious” step like the first trip away […]
[…] Breakfast Places […]
Things Republicans Hate: No. 29 Archaeology
http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/?p=274
oh come on, who doesn’t love waffle house!!!???
I go to breakfast on Saturday so I don’t have to look at all the hipsters trying to look hungover on purpose while they lounge around the restaurant their half-retarded friends.
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I lived in one beach community that had a Mexican restaurant with an outdoor patio and every Sunday, they had brunch with a huge Latin band featuring an awesome (although perpetually grumpy) marimba player. It seemed like the entire neighborhood would stroll over to this restaurant every Sunday in the morning, and stay until it closed around 4:00 p.m. We’d eat breakfast (of course) but then just drink the rest of the time. I don’t even like to drink, but that band and the vibe was just awesome.
No kidding. From http://dcist.com/2009/03/dcists_favorite_breakfasts.php:
“I love breakfast. There, I admitted it.
As I type this, I’m thinking about said breakfasts I love — some carved from the various kitchens of my childhood at the hands of my mom, others cobbled together in my head from diners, greasy spoons, and neighborhood joints from anywhere and everywhere. I think about eggs over-easy, four slices of crunchy toast, some hash browns or home fries coated in ketchup, and a couple of slices of perfectly cooked bacon. Or a short stack of pancakes, drenched in butter and syrup. Or the simple sweetness of french toast, coated in powdered sugar and highlighted by the slightest hint of cinnamon. With the morning news as a sidekick, and a constantly refilled cup of coffee as the only measure of how long the meal has taken, how can you go wrong?
That’s the thing about breakfast — regardless of whether you prefer to make it at home or have a favorite place that makes your morning meal, everyone understands it. Breakfast, in whatever form you believe it to be, is our most tangible dining ritual.
So color me surprised that Esquire’s “comprehensive” list of the 59 best breakfast spots in America featured nary a D.C.-area presence. Are we really that behind the curb for this, the everyman meal, the most important meal of the day?…”
Bets on whether a white person wrote this?
this is even more white than the article
[…] excuse me, I’m off to my favourite breakfast place with my Moleskine diary (please note that I am upwardly mobile: at some stage I’ll start […]
[…] I love brunch. I don’t care if that makes me indecisive (Lunch? Breakfast? That’s a false choice peddled by the forces of evil as far as I’m concerned,) or if Stuff White People Like is to be believed, just plain predictable. […]
LOL I saw this blog on http://www.DanielDickey.com (The MTV VJ) and must admit, it’s super funny as well.
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
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Please die.
hey, that’s not cool.
Just moved to a neighborhood in Ithaca, NY, right next to an elementary school. Directly behind my house is the “Lincoln St. Diner” which is open from 9am-2pm every day. Everyone on my street has their own garden, and everyone bikes into town. Awesome.
[…] love going out to breakfast. You may say that’s typical because it’s something white people like, but I don’t care! I like mornings, I like food, I like people, so going out for breakfast is […]
Does having to spell Saskatchewan correctly all your life ruin your ability to start a sentence with a goddamn capital letter?
“A new reason to get up early in Old town” This food critic article in the 4 July Washington Post,
http://www.washingtonpost.com/gog/restaurants/teaism-old-town,1231433/critic-review.html
scores for “breakfast-places”, “Tea”, “Japan”, “organic food”, and “Asian Fusion food”
[…] like. The blog Stuff White People Like is devoted to stuff that white people like, like Breakfast Places (#36), Organic Food (#6) and Farmers’ Markets (#5). Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, […]
[…] out to breakfast, which itself is a sign of racism because we all know how cliche white people like breakfast. Fournier loves to take his white friend out for breakfast because it gives him the opportunity to […]
I am white and I work at a breakfast bistro that’s open from 800am -2pm ha!!
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I am not a breakfast food eater, being a vegetarian/pescetarian #32 there just isn’t many foods to eat for breakfast, but I still take my Asian wife, #11, and our dog, #53, out every Sunday to read the paper, #46 (but NYT is the antithesis of my politics) at this great outdoor seating at Peet’s Coffee, #1, and have raspberry scone. BTW, I think #60, Prius, is in danger of being replaced with clean diesel car, which I drive.
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[…] from my first virtuous and healthy recommendation, we’ve gotten to my favorite meal of the week: the ever-popular brunch. Like pretty much every other yuppie, I can’t wait to roll out of bed on the weekends (after 10 […]
What’s up, the whole thing is going nicely here and ofcourse every one is sharing facts, that’s truly excellent, keep up writing.
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[…] devotee, a defector, or a never-was, it cannot be denied that brunch seems to have a particular resonance of “whiteness” and laissez faire overtone that makes it a favorite activity for Sex and the City characters and […]
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[…] Ivy League, being offended, New Balance shoes, and indie music. Number thirty-six in the list is Breakfast Places. As usual, the description is spot-on, especially about the propensity to hit up your favorite […]
I work as a balloon artist and one of these types of places is a regular gig for me. Other than it being a white people thing (I run into a wide mix of background’s at the one I frequent) this pretty much sums up the experience right down to the dog.
Kids, don’t break the fast. It is all a lie, you don’t need to eat 3 meals a day. The one to skip is the first one, you will feel better, have more energy and lose some weight. Americans are trained pigs, eat to much, spend to much, and throw food away. Brained washed, your body is effiecent and dosn’t need all this shit, save your money and your healath. Thanks Capt. Timbelcile