#14 Having Black Friends
January 21, 2008 by clander
From guest contributor Kristen Warner
Since we are on the verge of electing a black president, it seems important to explain why white people want black friends. Every white person wants a black friend like Barack: good-looking, well-spoken, and non-violent. Obviously, whites want black friends so as not to appear racist (see earlier Obama post). However, if we dig deeper what we notice about white people is not if they have black friends but in fact, how many black friends they have. White people like numbers. They like to count things like stars in the sky and the death toll at Mt. Everest and the number of times they’ve seen Tori Amos and/or Phish in concert. Counting the number of black friends is then clearly a divine imperative. The number of black friends white people possess also illustrates their comfort with black culture. Here’s a handy guide to the number system:
1—The white novice. This black friend is the gateway to helping white people understand gang signs and Vietnamese beauty supply stores. This black friend is probably the only black friend for many white people and when they all hang out (because white people hang out) they bring their “mutual” black friend with them.
2—The white black club-goer. Two black friends serve as bodyguards when white people go to black clubs to see how exactly one “pops, drops and locks” it.
3 -4—The white BET-er. See Justin Timberlake/ Robin Thicke/ Jon B for more information. For old school reference, see Michael McDonald.
5 and up—Impossible.
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Not only am I a black friend: I’m a black stepmom. ‘Nuff said.
I just wanted to say that I have tons of white friends..heck my white friend gave me this web address. She did however caution me before giving the address, cause she said that the it was mostly white humor, she did go on to say that I was “whiter” than she was..Which is sorta true. Hahahaha…The site is freakin hilarious…The site is only racist if you make it that way.
But does Racism still exists…Hell yeah it still exists…Maybe because ignorant people still exist
And by the way…I think I am more brown than black…Does that make me a mexican. (Okay that wasn’t that funny)…..ANd I hate watermelon, rap music and violent people. Where does that leave me
And oh yeah..who the heck is Paul Wall….
Don’t knock being the “black friend!” I get a lot of cool stuff that way. LOL
Crazy! Ok ok, read the title of this blog. It’s making fun of the stereotype of white people by including the stereotype of black people. I think stereotypes are great, as long as they don’t make it past the ‘just kidding’ phase. It forces us to accept that different cultures are DIFFERENT and have a variety of things to offer us. Getting rid of racism isn’t about getting rid of cultural boundaries but accepting that they exist and that each culture has something to offer another one. Its about COEXISTING. I recently saw a press screening of Cadillac Records (Coming Dec. 5) and despite a great cast and beautiful shiny cars, its about racism in 1950’s Chicago and the people who looked past color to embrace a part (Blues music) of a largely misunderstood culture at the time and introduce that culture to mainstream America. When you accept a stereotype for what it is, breaking it is more powerful than ignoring that it exists.
White ppl are awesome…(Black Guy)….once they get a tan from global warming…we’ll all be black…lmao
[...] and yet filled with clichés and assumptions. Either way, the fate of the show will either be #14 for White people who want to learn about Black people or just simply… [...]
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