#22 Having Two Last Names
January 24, 2008 by clander
In recent years, white people love giving their children two last names. This is a direct result of white women thinking it’s sexist and outdated to take on their husband’s name. It is also sexist that the child would only carry the name of one parent, especially since the unnamed parent is the one who carried the child for nine months. The only logical solution is to give the kid a split last name. White people can’t get enough of it!
As a result we have children growing up named Elijah Sadler-Moore.
While it’s true that many Spanish speaking cultures do this, often times their names are crazy long but are often shortened into sweet one word nicknames like Pele. Also, there is a historical precedent.
Being a recent phenomenon, we have yet to see what happens when one split named person marries another split named person. Does their kid end up with four last names?
I have a feeling that College Lacrosse and Soccer Jerseys are going to look pretty strange in the next few years.
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I have a hyphenated last name, but I’m black. I only started to appreciate the uniqueness of my last names when I became an adult. However, white people are always asking the origins of my last names and seem to be fascinated that someone who is neither white nor hispanic has two last names. So annoying.
We just put on that face so we don’t hurt your feeelings with how ridiculous we really think it is.
Funny you should say that. I’m South African and there’s a growing culture of women keeping and hyphenating their surnames, especially celebrities and those in the South African government.
And they are all BLACK, by the way.
Just because some black people have 2 last names doesn’t make white people like it any less.
This is fantastic
I just forwarded it to my mother-in-law! I was married 3 months ago to someone who’s parent’s hyphenated their names and their children’s names, and thus, I too, now have a hyphenated last name. The number of people who jokingly asked if we would hyphenate MY maiden name along with my husband’s last name was massive. I’m slowly getting used to it, but have noticed how rediculous and inconvenient it is in multiple situations…..pray for my poor future children 
Spare them the indiginity, don’t have any.
White people like hyphenated national identities, along with a second last name and a third wife (now divorced). But they don’t like a second job, an “under the table” second income and second-class/third-rate stores. LOL! Life…ain’t that a b*tch? Oops…I shouldn’t wrote that.
I’m Brazilian and have two surnames because it’s how we do it here (just like Hispanics); by what last name would people call me? My name is Gabriel Maldini Soares, being Maldini my mother’s family name and Soares my father’s family name; people call me sometimes by my full name, sometimes as “Gabriel Soares”, sometimes “Gabriel Maldini”. How would somebody read my name in North America?
I personally use more my mother’s last name because it’s less common in Brazil. Is it Ok too?
I recently have had this double last name in my family, and I would like to know if it has problems using these names and if one has two last names, you can use either-or name ? Also, is it possible to have two social insurance numbers, birth certificates, drivers license, health cards, or any other important document that is required by law? And if the last two surnames are hyphenated, do they have to be alway used that way, instead of the non-hyphenated way that you say you use either name at times? Also if a parent, say the mothers name is used last, is it possible to get more social assistance, as the child has the mothers last name and not the fathers, or that the father has a harder time to prove the child is his if there is a problem in the relationship without doing dna testing? Maybe there is another way to find this out if you don”t know. or can lead me in the right direction for these answers, Thanks.
The only excuse for being double-barrelled is if you marry the last, female representative of a wealthy family and take over the estate.
Or as a wit once put it: “being double barrelled used to mean you were posh, Now it means you’re a bastard”
And what’s wrong with being a bastard?
Nothing, unless you want to earn less money, have a greater chance of going to jail, be more less happy and cost society more than you contribute to society.
If you want to be so selfish and withold all the other advantages of having two parents to your children, you can do that. Then you can feel better about yourself because you have children that have the same disadvantages as you. You’ll still be a loser but you won’t be alone.
Apperantly you aren’t aware that Obamao, and Clintoon are both bastards. I think its a prerequisite or something now, for anybody seeking a democrat nomination for office.
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