#36 Breakfast Places
January 28, 2008 by clander
When Loverboy wrote the song “Everybody’s working for the weekend,” they meant that you work all week so that you can earn a break and go to some sweet bars or concerts and rock out as hard as possible because you have 2 days for the hangover to fix itself. Well, white people work for the weekend, except their only goal is to eat breakfast on Saturday or Sunday at one of their favorite “breakfast places.”
These places are restaurants that specialize in breakfast food and are usually only open from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. and if you arrive at any time after 9:30, prepare to wait for up to an hour with white people who cannot wait to get vegan pancakes, eggs benedict, waffles, or deluxe french toast.
To a white person, there is no better way to spend a saturday morning than to get up late, around 9:30 and pile into your Audi or Volvo and drive to one of these little places and eat breakfast with friends. Often times these breakfasts last for an hour or more (hence the long lines and wait times).
Some white people take it to the next level and bring their dogs, newspaper or even a laptop.
If you plan on dealing with white people, it would serve you well to know some local breakfast places. This will also come in handy if you pick someone up at 80s night. In white person law, if you meet someone at 80s night and then go out for breakfast the next morning, then you are automatically in a relationship. There are no exceptions.
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how can you not love it when its $2.95
ps. I’m white!!
Yup I sure do love breakfast places ‘cept I take my prius and my 5 year old.
I love how they say “Some white people take it to the next level and bring their dogs, newspaper or even a laptop.”
I saw white people bring their newspapers and laptops, but a dog? wtf freaks
i noticed this phenomenon, when i started seeing huge QUEUES on saturday mornings outside ‘the breakfast club’ in islington. all groups in couples, or all girl groups, noone over 40, everybody white, or a ‘token’ with all white friends. when did it become cool to eat eggs? what’s wrong with a fry up at a greasy spoon cafe?
“‘The Breakfast Club’ drives me fucking mad, I’m with you vandross, it’s just a fucking fucking fry-up!! don’t make it a social event to have breakfast. Do these people not realise that pubs are usually open at that time of day?
This is so true it’s sad. I live near Laguna Beach and one day my Asian father recommended we go eat breakfast at a place a co-worker had suggested. The food consisted of dry muffins, overpriced quiche, and eggs benedict, and the ambiance was SUPER white, with many people looking at my little Asian family inquisitively, wondering why we had encroached upon their territory. Haha needless to say, after that experience I try to avoid these snooty breakfast places with crappy food :]
Yea I do that here in Auckland NZ. K’rd is full of fucking hipsters.
Though I don’t like being over charged for my scrammbled eggs, I usually make it worth while and buy something I’d be to fucking useless to make. Either than or I buy cake for breakfast. Mmmm Cake and Coffee!
LOL I saw this site on http://www.DanielDickey.com and I must admit it’s just as funny!!
[...] with nothing better to do save wait. Brunch isn't just a meal, an enduring dining convention white people like — along with modern furniture, Apple products, and other stuff. Today, it's a state of mind, and a [...]
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