#16 “Gifted” Children
January 22, 2008 by clander
White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing?
I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run.
The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.
But wait, aren’t there white people who aren’t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?
Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.
Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.
Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.
This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say “oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?” at which point the parent will say “yes.” Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say “my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?” To which the parent will reply “oh, yes, he’s too creative and smart for school. We just don’t know what to do.” Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.
But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.
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hahaha…i was one of those kids in a “gifted class”…it was probably to give the teachers a break from my constant question-asking lol
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Then very well to do Asian and Muslim children are white and gifted because their parents do the same thing? Why are you generalizing this trait to whites only?. You would be more accurate to say that people who love putting on appearances are likely to do and say this about their children? This is ludicrous. By the way, I am not white, and I feel sorry for the way whites are being treated here. They are being made to look phony, supercilious, sanctimonious, arrogant, high-minded, pretentious, phony, fake, deceptive, insincere, and robotically programmed to do or say specific things in particular specific situations. Basta!
Growing up, dude it sucked to be called “gifted”, and be placed in all those advanced programs and whatnot. Adults do eat that shit up, let me tell you. They treat you like you’re worth more than all the gold stored in Fort Knox, and then some. Parents who think they have gifted children: By god, you don’t understand how much your child would like to repeatedly bitch-slap you.
That was good Sarah. I loved the funny ending. It was perfect.
That is exactly what Sarah’s parents would say, trying desperately to convince themselves that she is gifted.
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