#49 Vintage
February 3, 2008 by clander
The love affair between white people and old stuff literally goes back for hundreds of years. In the older days, it was almost exclusively contained within the realm of furniture. While white people still love antiques, they don’t always fit so well with a modern lifestyle and kitchen.
Beginning in their late teens, white people begin an obsession with finding cool vintage clothing at local thrift shops and Goodwills. Making purchases at these locations address a number of white person needs.
First, it allows them to say “oh, this? I got this shirt at Goodwill for $3.” This statement focuses the attention on the shirt, taking attention away from the $350 jeans and $200 shoes. The white person can then retain that precious ‘indie’ cred.
Secondly, it allows a white person to have something that other white people don’t. This is an important consideration when trying to determine the worth and ranking of white people.
As white people get older, and the opportunities to wear a “Pittsburgh Special Olympics ‘76″ T-shirt diminish, they must move their vintage fetish from clothes to furniture and knick knacks. For a post-30 white person, the mention of a ‘vintage stove’ or ‘vintage card catalog” can send their imaginations racing about how to incorporate it into their current home decor.
By having at least one vintage, unique piece of furniture in a room full of Ikea, white people can still tell themselves that they are unique and cooler than their friends.
When you enter a white person’s home, you should immediately search for anything not made by Ikea, Crate and Barrel or Athropologie. Upon finding such an item, you should ask “where did you get that? It’s really cool.” The white person will then tell you a story about how they acquired it, allowing them to feel cool and giving them a reminder about their fantastic taste.
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90% of these things, either I or my parents are into lol. GOod job!
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
HaHa. So True! I keep trying to tell my people they stopped making clothes out of 100% polyester for a reason!
Second time around nostalgia is where it’s at.. begged mom the first time around for the ugly members only jacket, now you’re buying them in one of every color, including teal, just because you can.
Lol the same white friend i have who wants to move to san francisco is obsessed with having the most unwanted and least brought shirt/purse from urban outfitters. she thinks it makes her style unique. until i tell her everyone at my school shops there and think they are unique as well. than she starts talking about running away, leather shoes, and asian girls.And a white girl in my yearbook promptly stated how having a clear ziplock bag for all of her pens makes a much bigger statement than lets say, something from office depot. making a statement> quality.
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OMG!! laughed so hard!… I needed a couch and got one out of my oma’s basement that’s been there since before I was born (’82). Its like that old 50’s green with the end tables like built into the actual couch/sectional/whatever-it-is… it even has like this built in console thing where I store ashtrays. Anyways… this thing is THE MOST uncomfortable piece of crap but everyone wants to party at my place because of it! Its hilarious watchin people sittin on this thing, and then complimenting it! cause I know that there is NO WAY that they are even comfortable. furthermore the thing is like falling apart and when I say I’m gettin rid of it I get totally yelled at!
How wrong is it that I want that “bookshelf” in the picture and I want it NOW?
me neither…..>_<
lol.
If it’s wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.
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