#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
February 24, 2008 by clander
Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.
For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.”
Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly different to the one they live in now.
Within white culture, it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.
Being aware that this information can be used quite easily to gain the trust of white people. Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.”
They will then expect you to tell them about how Canada has a perfect healthcare system, legalized everything, and no crime. Though not true, it will reassure them that they are making the right choice by saying they want to move there.
But be warned, they will reference you in future conversations and possibly call on you to settle disputes about Canadian tax rates. So use this advice only if you plan to do some basic research.
Note: Canadian white people threaten to move to Europe.
Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere.
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This is SO true!
Disgruntled australians threaten to move to new zealand. in fact, new zealand is basically this blog rolled up and spread out in the form of a country.
Canada’s a great place, but we always end up get the shitty end of the stick from America. And right now, the shitty end is almost touching our hands.
I’ve been back here living in Vancouver for the last 5 months after living in Japan for 6 years. Great fucking timing. How was I to know there was an economic crisis happening. Whatever you do, don’t move here. Vancouver is more conservative that it was 10 years ago. Even Halifax has more happeing than here I think. It’s a cultural wasteland here right now. I consider myself to be a talented graphic designer, but I still have very little work even after 5 months. Shit has just dried up here. Half the ad’s on craigslist are shit like “Looking for a graphic designer / receptionist / coffee maker / bookkeeper w/ marketing and branding experience” and they only want to pay you 12 bucks an hour. I can make more working for the city raking leaves. It totally sucks here right now. Thinking about moving to Montreal or Toronto, bt I don’t know if we’d be in any safer straits or not.
Do right wingers in Canada threaten to move to the US when their candidate loses?
Brent
Nope, there candidates win so then we threaten to move to Washington or Oregon or California….or Europe.
Were people in Canada more excited about the American election than they were about the Canadian election? I can’t really even tell you who the President of Canada is, and the only way I could hope to get Canadian election coverage is if I listened to BBC on our government radio station.
Brent:
You are not the wrong kind of white person, you’re just not on board with the propaganda machine that has demanded that the masses bow to the great personality now coming to power.
Pick up a copy of Atlas Shrugged. Huge book but you’ll learn to speed read through certain sections as the author is a bit overblown.
And Russia’s emergence of skin heads is not a right wing phenomenon. They’re still skewed towards a large, super-powerful centrally controlled government with a minimum value placed on the individual.
In other words, the very definition of the Left wing state.
Exactly where we’re going.
The Right wing equivalent? There isn’t one, but you can try freetheworld.com. Great economic site.
If you seriously wanted to get out of the country for awhile, Japan is a great place. It’s no libertarian paradise, but it’s very American friendly, very interesting, and the people are fantastic. Go there for a visit for a while. There’s lots of job opportunities for Americans.
The cult of personality surrounding Obama isn’t what I have a real problem with, it’s the things that he ran on like social justice, tax increases, single payer health care, yada yada. On the other hand, McCain was a poor alternative for a real neocon like me, so what’s a boy to do? I have no party left and I am living in a country where I’m unrepresented. This must be the same kind of futility and isolation that progressives felt in 2004 after Kerry lost. AT LEAST progressives have a magical make pretend utopia to threaten to move to, and that’s all I want. I don’t want to actually move somewhere, I just want what progressives have, a place to THREATEN to move to.
I’ll just come out and admit it, I’m “the wrong kind” of white person. I read this blog and I bought 2 copies of this book because while people on this site probably view its humor as self-deprecating irony, to me it reads like the gospel truth. I need help with a question that people at this site seem well qualified to answer.
The “right kind of white people” have a nearby nation that they can threaten to move to when things don’t go their way, Canada. As a wrong minded white male, I am confused about where I should threaten to move now that Obama has been elected. I can’t threaten to move to Canada because if I did that I’d be surrounded by more Obama supporters than there are here in the U.S., as well as a more socialist ideology, so where do I threaten to move to?
What is the right wing equivalent of Canada? Shall I threaten to move to Russia since they are undergoing a right wing renaissance complete with roving bands of skinheads? What about South America, is there a country in South America that I as a conservative might find appealing?
Regards,
Brent
Uruguay and Argentina are worth looking into. After all, they generously gave asylums to plenty of Nazis after WW2 when no one else would.
Regards,
Bob
Connie,
Being the wrong kind of white person, I knew nothing about Uruguay or Argentina. I did what most wrong-whites do when we are ignorant about something; I googled it and hit the Wikipedia link. From reading about these two countries I have to assume that you either misunderstood my question or that you don’t know very much about either one of these countries. Uruguay is now being governed by a center leftist party, and Argentina has a president who is on huggy status with Hugo Chavez. Taking in Nazis only goes so far, and besides lots of leftists were Nazi sympathizers back then, our own FDR being one of them, so taking in Nazis does not a conservative make.
To top shelf whites in America, Canada is sort of like a beacon of what the US could be if only we wrong-whites could be driven out. We wrong-whites don’t have anything like a Canada to seek to emulate, or to threaten to move to. We need that, and hell, if given the opportunity some of us might just go.
Brent
Brent: Try moving to China, you would love it. Unbridled capitalism, corruption, authoritarian government who allow no freedom of speech, no social care where the old, sick and unemployed can starve on the streets without anyone giving a damn.
As an American, you should feel at home there.
I see your point, that it would be a great place for the “Top Hat and Cigar Republicans”, but that’s not the kind of wrong-white person I am. I am more of a Walmartian, so I’m basically looking for a country that I can threaten to move to where you’re allowed to smoke in bars, own machine guns and maybe even whistle “dixie” without answering to charges of a hate crime.
Remember, just as the “right kind of white people” aren’t really going to move to Canada (they just want to threaten to move there), I am not looking for a country to actually move to, I just want to find a country that I can THREATEN to move to.
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