#75 Threatening to Move to Canada
February 24, 2008 by clander
Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.
For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.”
Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly different to the one they live in now.
Within white culture, it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.
Being aware that this information can be used quite easily to gain the trust of white people. Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.”
They will then expect you to tell them about how Canada has a perfect healthcare system, legalized everything, and no crime. Though not true, it will reassure them that they are making the right choice by saying they want to move there.
But be warned, they will reference you in future conversations and possibly call on you to settle disputes about Canadian tax rates. So use this advice only if you plan to do some basic research.
Note: Canadian white people threaten to move to Europe.
Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere.
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Instead of Canada, my mom threatens to move to Norway.
don’t you dare bring your honky asses up here, if you do…i’m moving to Europe!!
ps. I’m white!!
Ha you crack me up. Canadians hate Americans. You won’t stay there. They will kick your ass back!
Now that bush is gone, I think I’ll stay put
White South Africans threaten to move to Australia. And they do… some suburbs in Australian cities have more white South Africans than Australians!
The point about Europeans being unable to threaten to move anywhere is not quite true. Us white Brits have the luxury of being able to threaten to move to “the continent”. A British white person will often threaten to move to “the continent” (what we call the rest of Europe) if “the Tories” (the Conservative party, who are vaguely equivalent to the Republicans, i.e. bad) get into power.
Ironically, most of the white people who move to the continent in fact do so because the Tories are *not* in power (this is because they are the wrong kind of white people).
Check out the article below – this is a real headf*** because Tracey Emin is the *right* kind of white person (or more accurately is approved of by the right kind of white people), but is behaving like the wrong kind of white person! And note that The Guardian is the white person’s paper of choice in the UK, like the New York Times with added atheism.
Perhaps there could be a special feature on British white people? I could have volunteered to write this for you in person if I’d gone to your lecture at LSE on Thursday, but I decided to go to a lecture about communism instead because yours seemed a bit flippant – and then I had to leave early anyway to go and watch an indie band – from Canada!!! I would mention their name, but none of you would ever have heard of them.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2009/oct/04/tracey-emin-tax-protest-france
English people aren’t really european
I moved to Canada 2 years ago and am glad I did it.
When I first applied for a Canadian visa I was rejected, this didn’t however deter me and I would urge other people that were declined to persist.
The visa I got was a skilled workers visa, I got help by an immigration specialist 2nd time round but this isn’t absolutely necessary, I just wanted to make sure.
Now I am in Vancouver and I’m loving it, not to cold in the winter and hot enough summers. Sometimes we get snow but never freezing freezing weather.
If your thinking about moving to Canada I’d say stop thinking and just do it.
Amen! Congrats on your move and I hope the rest of your fruitcake brethren follow suit. ASAP.
Dear Greg (aka “Nazi” to his “friends”),
What’s with the fruitcake thing? Did mommy force feed it to you when you were a child? I declare white boy! BTW, you first – ignorance always precedes reason. White boy, you sure are a dumbass racist….I declare…uh…you fruitcake.
I’m a Canadian white person and I always takl about moving to Europe… Hot damn. Am I a walking stereotype?
I’m a Canadian too. During the last referendum, I used to say that ‘d move to Europe if the coutry split up.
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