#88 Having Gay Friends
March 14, 2008 by clander
If white people could draft friends the way that the NFL drafts prospects it would go like this: black friends, gay friends, and then all other minorities would be drafted based on need and rarity to the region.
When choosing gay friends, white people like to base their decision on their own needs and requirements. Younger white people tend to prefer young, social gay people-this is their all important ticket into nightclubs and parties.
When a straight person goes to a gay night club, they are reminded of how progressive and tolerant they are. If they are hit on by a member of the same sex, it provides them with a valuable story that they can use to prove to their other friends that they are more progressive and tolerant. “This guy/girl hit on me, I said I was ’straight but not narrow,’ and it was totally chill. Oh, you went to an Irish bar this weekend? That’s cool, I guess. “
Older white people prefer to be friends with gay parents because it enables their children to experience much needed diversity with people who are, for all intents and purposes, exactly the same as them.
It is also worth noting that a gay friendship of any sort allows white people to feel as though they are a part of the gay rights movement. While white people love being a part of any movement, the gay movement is especially important to them because they can blend in at rallies and protests and spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression.
Gay friends are an essential part of a white person’s all-star diversity roster. But they are always on the lookout for the ultimate friend; a gay minority.
It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity - like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker. White people will crawl over each other for the opportunity to claim this person as a friend and add them to their roster of diversity.
Other minorities are also highly prized and assigned a ranking based on the level of intolerance in they face from their respective cultures and family members.
Once a white person has told you about their gay friends, it is recommended that you say “I wish more people were like you,” every few months. This will allow them to feel good about their progressive choice of friends and remind them that they are better than other white people.
If you follow this simple rule, you should be able to maximize all benefits of white friendship including assistance in moving and free drinks.
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I’m white, and I say these things are true. Gays look good on your resume.
True but who are we to judge what white people like. As a minority (Scottish/German), I observe many elements that a minority would want when they first arrive on this continent full of white people. Minorities want to be close to their own kind, since we see difference between us and your so-called ”white people.” The issue here is that we’ve already established ourselves different from our opponents. Long rant short, as minorities - we are reactive racists compared to white people (which in this case makes them proactive racists, the true dictionary racists in most of our minds). And we continue to be prejudiced towards white people because we faithfully believe that they believe they are better than us (minorities).
Consider this case - a black child, an Asian child, and a white child meet for the first time in their life at the play ground. Most argue that children are innocent, but we are truthfully blown away by our differences. Most want to believe and do believe that children know nothing better about differences. We are but children on the same faithful playground and the playground is this planet we live in. It is better to accept our differences than trying to understand our differences before we head off to the monkey bars.
if you are scottish/german you are white, not a minority
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