#88 Having Gay Friends
March 14, 2008 by clander
If white people could draft friends the way that the NFL drafts prospects it would go like this: black friends, gay friends, and then all other minorities would be drafted based on need and rarity to the region.
When choosing gay friends, white people like to base their decision on their own needs and requirements. Younger white people tend to prefer young, social gay people-this is their all important ticket into nightclubs and parties.
When a straight person goes to a gay night club, they are reminded of how progressive and tolerant they are. If they are hit on by a member of the same sex, it provides them with a valuable story that they can use to prove to their other friends that they are more progressive and tolerant. “This guy/girl hit on me, I said I was ’straight but not narrow,’ and it was totally chill. Oh, you went to an Irish bar this weekend? That’s cool, I guess. “
Older white people prefer to be friends with gay parents because it enables their children to experience much needed diversity with people who are, for all intents and purposes, exactly the same as them.
It is also worth noting that a gay friendship of any sort allows white people to feel as though they are a part of the gay rights movement. While white people love being a part of any movement, the gay movement is especially important to them because they can blend in at rallies and protests and spend an afternoon feeling the sting of oppression.
Gay friends are an essential part of a white person’s all-star diversity roster. But they are always on the lookout for the ultimate friend; a gay minority.
It is generally accepted that a gay black friend with a child is considered a once in a lifetime opportunity – like a quarterback who can pass, run, kick, and play linebacker. White people will crawl over each other for the opportunity to claim this person as a friend and add them to their roster of diversity.
Other minorities are also highly prized and assigned a ranking based on the level of intolerance in they face from their respective cultures and family members.
Once a white person has told you about their gay friends, it is recommended that you say “I wish more people were like you,” every few months. This will allow them to feel good about their progressive choice of friends and remind them that they are better than other white people.
If you follow this simple rule, you should be able to maximize all benefits of white friendship including assistance in moving and free drinks.
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I live in Brighton, along with plenty of frightful homosexuals. They walk around town with their bottoms exposed, wearing ‘love me tender’ t-shirts, and singing Jimmy Somerville songs.
love to have gay guy friends because they are a substitute for women friends because they all hate each other.
Hey Greg, you are a dumbass. I said it before, and I will say it again. I am not a fan of the homosexual lifestyle and I don’t want to see two dudes making out everywhere I go. But I am also torn, because basically, I LOVE lesbiens. They make the word go around. If you had some lesbo and/or bi lady friends, you would understand why. hehe. And it is because of the love I have for lesbos, that I must defend that lifestyle.
First off, I strongely believe in “don’t ask, don’t tell”. I love women but it is not anyones business, I am not going to go around advertising my heterosexuality to the world, so don’t advertise your homosexuality either. That is where we both agree. But, you ALWAYS have to jump off the deep end. Sad.
I guess in your attempt to be the bad guy, you just make yourself look like a dumbass. You don’t have to explain homosexuality to your kids. Children should’nt be thinking about sex to begin with. If you were doing your job as a father, they would be thinking about toys and cartoons. What two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home, is non of your bizwax. Why do you have to hate what they do their? It don’t affect you.
But the mother of all stupid things you said, your anti-hate crime diatribe took the cake. You big dumbass. Really, using your logic. If you went to say….Mexico. You, a big mullet wearing redneck in a place where you are the minority trying to survive. Lets say the locals don’t like YOUR KIND. They want you to move your white ass back to america so they start to fuck with you. Flatten your tires, make rude comments to you and your family. Whoop your ass for no reason other than the fact they don’t like you. You want the law to treat it as just a random asswhooping. No, why, because it was racially and hatefully driven. That is why there are hate crime laws dumbass. Less than fifty years ago, they lynched blacks for no reason. A year or two ago, six black guys got locked up for beating the ass of a white boy with a gun threating to shoot them. Yes, in a hick town that is majority white.
No to hatecrimes, your a dumbass. It is people like you, that make hatecrimes a necessity.
put alil love in your heart
This is probably one of the most stupidest things I have ever read.
HA your ignorance and stupidity is ALMOST funnier than the article.
ahm sorry man, us dumb negros have and ass for a mouth and our heads stuck up our asses and can only speak really stooopid shit. and i eat boogers
Fuck you optical fags. You have something better to share, then by all means, do share. If not, then let the man speak.
I bet you get that a lot. Do you think that maybe there is something to it?
I’m a fag, wanna do me. You don’t have to pretend to be somebody else with me mah niggaaaaa. we can sniff poo and glue and get hhhiiiiiigghhhh. C’mon you pantie wearing cocksucker gimme sum a dat jungle luv.
I told you I learned my lesson. Regardless of how many times and how many ways I prove just how stupid you are, you won’t see it. I’m sure you won’t mind if I don’t waste my time, doing it again.
ahm a stoopid negro short and stout these are ma panties, i like boy skouts. I wanna sniff yer pooooo-oooooo-ooooo, I wanna sniff yer pooo YOinKs
I am a stupid cracker, all I want to do is suck dicks.
I learned my lesson too, giving you the benifit of the doubt as far as being remotely intelligent was a BIG mistake. You only proved that you are a bigot, racist, and DUMBASS. I laugh at your ilk.
put alil love in your heart
The best is a gay white couple who adopts a black child
lol hahahhahahahahaa
gay people rock!!! <3 <3
Not I said the white man. I’m one of those rare white people that this thread loves to despise. I’m extremely intolerant of queers in my workplace, in my kids school, in public, in private and anywhere else that it makes a difference. I do not believe that some moral degenerate choice some fruitcake makes is in anyway deserving of “rights”, attention other than negative, nor will I be forced in celebrating that which disgusts me.
That said, I don’t give a rats patootie how anybody gets their jollies. Observe and respect the norms of commonly accepted social standards. Keep your more disgusting habits to yourself and in private.
So, Greg…you live alone?
lol! wow….. that was brave dude… being a homosexual is… well i just don’t get it. BUT! I simply can’t bring myself to hate them. The only thing I can agree with you is about that don’t ask don’t tell thing… but at the same time, i gots gay friends, HELL one of them even has a crush on me…. heh, i just exercise double think when it comes to this type of thing…. if there are any gays here, i would like for you to educate this individual on how not to hate people. Spread the love man. WWJD
I don’t “hate” gay people. I’m rather indifferent. I “HATE” what queers do to force their degenerate agenda down my throat. I “HATE” the very idea of changing laws that protect everyone equally to grant some degenerate group of misfits special rights no one else has. I “HATE” having to explain to my kids what the fu– a queer is. I “HATE” being told I’m somehow homophobic for being disgusted by queers, while their ridiculouse rants against societal norms in much more vitriolic terms is celebrated. I “HATE” a personal choice some fruitcakes make is ever even considered in the same vein as a race issue. I dont hate queers, I just hate everything they stand for, do, believe in, or try to force me to believe. Is that bad?
@Greg
Hey, fellow heterosexual hate-monger, don’t let them homo-queers put their degenerate agenda down your throat, cause that’s how you get the AIDS!
@ StraightAsADick
I bet you would know about that. How is your treatment coming along?
Greg- Sorry…but I’m just curious as to what “special rights” the gay community are trying to get that other people don’t have?
What do you think hate crime legislation is? The same laws protect everyone the same, until hate crime legislation gives queers and certain races special protections against whites and people who don’t embrace the queer agenda. If that isn’t “special rights” what would you call it?
Hey you know hate crime legislation covers all citizens and 25% of all cases are against whites.
Hate crimes make the crime not the person who has done it or who has suffered from it special
You could just as easily suffer a hate crime as anyone else.
Sounds good on a post, but it isn’t the law and it isn’t the practice.
I would call it a human right.
As a heterosexual, white woman, I would expect the law to protect me against violence, slander and crime. Just because they are specifically asking for protection of a certain kind doesnt make it a new idea. If someone slandered or abused me (physically or verbally) for something I did or believed in, I would fully expect justice for it.
Don’t let not knowing what you are talking about keep you from sharing your opinion.
The price of eggs? You blithering idiot. Why should us “degenerates” be the one to take care of a child? Oh, I don’t know… because one of the fucked up straights couldn’t? Hmm.. yeah.. that’s about right. Like Inexplicable enigma said, you are a dumbass with no logic and going around like a poser faking intelligence. Even though your stupidity doesn’t amuse me, I must say I’m more motivated to get the rights we deserve and enjoy them while not caring if your asshole gets all up in a knot. So before I work on these new goals, I’ll finally say: Fuck you and your Ilk, scumbag. Bye.
I’m not surprised inexpligable enigma would be one of your heroes. Stupidity is highly prized amongst your ilk.
And Stupidity is highly embraced amongst your ilk also, dumbass. I am not surprised that no one has chosen you as their hero Grig. Maybe you need to
put alil love in your heart
Why don’t you dial back your penis envy a little bit douchebag.
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First off, I know exactly what I’m talking about.
Second, I was just asking a question and providing my opinion as an answer to your question. There is no need to be rude just because I happen to think differently than you do.
You do not know what you are talking about. shall I clarify for you??? Hate crime legislation is thought police. You are protected under the same laws I am and everybody else is already. Hate crime legislation adds extraordinary punishment to people they deem commited a crime based on what some presume their thoughts to be.
If a black man or a queer assaults a “heterosexual white woman”, while screaming racial and sexual orientational epithets it wouldn’t be even considered as a hate crime.
If a queer is assaulted it is automatically considered a hate crime, regardless of the situation.
Same if a black is assaulted by a white person, but not vice versa. Now you can pretend to know what your talking about all you want, you can percieve someone educating you as rude if you like. You can believe the moon is made of cheese for all I care.
Sounds a lot like homophobia to me.
lol gays
Of course it sounds like “homophobia” to liberals and fruitcakes. Your ideological dogma demands it. No one is allowed to disagree with the tenets of said religion.
Just like believing Obama is an incompetant clown, means without a doubt,(to your ilk), I am a racist. Anyone that doesn’t celebrate and jump for joy at the very idea of degenerate same sex couplings, and strongly support anything they say, think, feeeeel, or do is homophobic, and deserving of public verbal lashings.
I am expected by this same group of degenerates to be apologetic, deferential, and genuflect on demand to show “tolerance”. I am expected to freely offer up my children for a good mental scrubbing in public school, so that they too may embrace the same degenerate and moronic world view. That my fruitcake friends is the definition of fascism. Pardon me all to pieces if I don’t go along with it.
To Greg,
Two things. First, you clearly are uneducated with regards to our Consitution, and in particular, the section 1 of the 14th amendment, which is known as the equal protection clause. So let me help you out here: “No state…shalle deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” What you call “special rights” are actually people trying to get the rights that the Consitition already guarentees them.
Second, you sound to me like a classic, self-loathing gay man, who is deeply closeted. I wish you the best of luck coming to terms with your sexuality.
There you are. I was wondering where all the “articulate” fruitcakes were. I would like to ask our self appointed Constitutional scholar, where in the constitution is “hate crime” legislation addressed, dipshit? Go ahead, take a minute, I’ll wait. The queer marriage thing you are trying to get at isn’t in there either. At least not without a willful misinterpretation of the facts. Which I am certain you will pretend not to notice.
Second, your ilks tendency to describe anyone not
absolutely celebratory over you conclusions are either a “homophobe” or a “self loathing gay man” as the only two options because YOU say so…..
Well, that does’nt go anywhere either. While trying to achieve “protected” status, you have to demonstrate something that makes you different. A willful choice to engage in degenerate behavior doesn’t qualify. Regardless of how badly you want to believe that it does.
Everywhere queer marriage is put to a vote of the people, your ignorant assertions, and pathetic attempts to intimidate, are rejected outright, and don’t. Your ilks ridiculouse attempts at psuedo intellectualism isn’t backed up by science, any more than your degenerate lifestyle choices are. Whats more, the angry queer routine is just tired, and ineffective. So… Good luck with that!
Greg I’m waiting outside your door. Could you please open up so we can do what we always do on Tuesdays afternoons?
Oh and how was the giant rapist-vibrator for self-loathers you were telling me about the other day?
Cheers lover
Thats tired too fruitcake.
So gay people should be hypocrites? We should keep our degenerate behavior in “the closet” like many republicans do? Such as sleeping with prostitutes? Or making porn videos while protecting family values?
I’m scared that there are still people out there like yourself. I believe the “rights” we seek are no different from the “rights” you seek. Getting married and the protections that would afford us are very important. Protecting “the family” is what we need. Because we can’t get married, but have ways to have children, our families need MORE protection than yours. For instance if you father a child and your baby mama dies, that child automatically goes to you. Can you imagine if you baby mama’s parents stepped in and had more rights to that child than you did! Perhaps you child has never even met her parents, because they were “greg Haters”.
If marriage is just for the purpose of children, what about people who aren’t going to have children like Liz Taylor’s 27 marriages. Most heterosexual people don’t understand what a commitment really is anyway. You invite GOD to your weddings but not your marriages!
I bet Greg likes to watch two hot women getting it on! Oh but let those two women get married, no way! Pig, you’re the hypocrite.
Yes you should keep your degenerate, depraved ideas of “love” in the freakin’ closet, or in a deeeep freakin’ hole.
Your ilks complete disregard for how disgusting and offensive, your behavior is to the overwhelming majority of people is a major mistake and the problem.
Trying to force us to embrace, approve of, and jump for joy at your degenerate behavior, has consequences. It blows my mind that known degenerates, sexual deviants with no regard for mainstream ideals are even allowed in the same room as children. Allowing these same degenerate misfits to “raise” children, who the fu– came up with that dumbassed idea?
Most lesbians look like rosie odonell and ellen degenerate. Not an image I want to spend time on. Even if they looked like college co-eds, I’m not interested. All I think of is somebodies daughter has no respect for herself or family. Your ilks depraved and degenerate behavior spurred most of that crap into existence. Before you fruitcakes came out of the closet in San Franfreako, you rarely, if ever heard of, let alone seen that kind of depraved behavior. Granted, while a tittilating idea to some, when thought about. When brought out into the open, it loses its appeal. When forced to look at it, it becomes offensive.
So you can stick your hypocrite fantasy in the same hole you pulled it out of, fruitcake.
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Ignored it or didn’t see what it had to do with the price of eggs????
Sure lots of kids have a hard time in life. How the hell does that justify letting a degenerate be the one to do it???
You and your ilk are far too stupid, to have any kind of reasoned conversation with.
I love how you completely ignored that there are heterosexuals that don’t value marriage whatsoever. That there are straight people more degenerate than gay people. That there are heterosexual parents who have completely destroyed a kid’s childhood. No, no, no; All you care about is that we should never be let near a child or get married just because YOU say so? Sorry, but you’re ignorant and prefer to remain that way and I refuse to go along with it.
Greg, shut the f_ck up. Some of us don’t care to share our agenda or, as you say, “shove” it down your throat. You’re not homophobic, fine, drop your constant use of “fruitcake” and “degenerate” and maybe, just maybe, people would stop having that impression of you.
Some of us don’t care to have your full and unconditional love and approval, only need your support for the rights we should get. I’m not going to go by the Constitution, the Bible, or any other crap. I, deep down, know it isn’t right to deny somebody’s rights to anything because of sexuality. It’s as imbecillic as it was when the issue was skin color.
If you hadn’t noticed by now, I’ll illustrate it more clearly for you. I don’t give a damn what you degenerates like or don’t like. I have had to put up with your ilks vitriolic attacks on NORMAL behavior and social norms for more than a decade. Your degenerate ilks influence in public education was the straw that broke the camels back.
I don’t give a damn what impression you get of me, what names you call me, or anything else you freaks of nature do. You have offended me your last time. I am gonna be the one doing the offending from now on. Your CHOICE to engage in degenerate, amoral, disgusting behavior, does not qualify you for any kind of special treatement, or rights.
You depraved fruitcakes are going to start reaping the benefits of what you have sown, now.
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Feel sorry for yourself fruitcake, I don’t need it.
Greg, I pity you. Those of you who tried to reason with greg, pearls before swine, friends, pearls before swine.
I love all my Gays!
Without them, fashion would suck……
sexy
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