#90 Dinner Parties
March 18, 2008 by clander
Though many would have you believe that white people come of age at Summer Camp, it’s simply not the truth. Immediately following graduation but prior to renovating a house, white people take their first step from childhood to maturity by hosting a successful dinner party.
It is imperative that white people know how to host a good dinner party as they will be expected to do it well into retirement.
At the most basic level, these simple gatherings involve 3-6 couples getting together at a single house or apartment, having dinner and talking for 5-6 hours. Though it might seem basic these events are some of the most stressful situations in all of white culture.
Hosts are expected to deliver a magical evening. The food must be home made with fresh, organic ingredients, the music must be just right (ambient, new, but not too loud), and the decorations inside the house should be subtle but elegant. The ultimate goal is to do a better job than the couple at the last dinner party while attempting to make everyone jealous and sort of dislike you.
The dinner party is the opportunity for white people to be judged on their taste in food, wine, furniture, art, interior design, music, and books. Outside of dictatorships and a few murder trials, there might not be a more rigorous judgment process in the modern world. Everything must be perfect. One copy of US Weekly, a McDonalds wrapper, a book by John Grisham, a Third Eye Blind CD, or an Old School DVD can undo months and maybe even years of work.
Even before guests arrive the pressure on the host is immense and it does not let up once people begin to arrive. While eating, drinking, and conversation are expected to fill up 5-6 hours, sometimes it’s just not enough. In order to fill the silence, white people will often turn to board games (Cranium!) or Wii Bowling. This lets everyone have fun together without having to really talk to each other, which is usually more fun anyways.
It is strongly encouraged to bring a gift to these dinner parties, usually either wine or some kind of dessert. If you are able to bring a particularly rare dish from your culture, you will be the star of the party. To seal the deal, be sure to explain as much as you possibly can about the dish: history, availability, and the proper way to eat it. Every white person at the party will be taking mental notes and will be in your debt for introducing them to something new and authentic. If a white person says they have eaten the dish before, it is best to respond by saying “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.”
The entire party will universally acknowledge you as the top guests, even the hosts will appreciate you for bringing diversity to the table in both food and person form.
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Fuck man Albert Speer has really similar dinner parties.
[...] The flip side to this is an evening with friends (drinks optional) where you are the esteemed host, bestowing your benevolent space on your friends to enjoy. Let’s face it, people love dinner parties. [...]
bless this post with love,peace,respect and success.
just let love be
Attn: The President/CEO
Sir/Madam,
Call for tenders Number. GH/2009/061
I hereby issue you an invitation relating to open call for tenders Number
GH/2009/061.
To improve the economic sectors in the country the Government of Ghana has mapped out a huge amount of money for rural and urban rehabilitation/developments and part of the funds has been budgeted for the procurement of several medical devices, and other products to the related ministries in the country.
the aim of this tender bidding is to facilitate importation for companies and fight against the importation of substandard goods/Products under the government of H.E. President Evans Atta Mills. The Government of Ghana hereinafter as the purchaser intends using part of its budgetary allocation to fund the rural and urban rehabilitation/developments project and part of the funds has been budgeted for the procurement of several goods/Products to the related ministries in the countries.
And once you win any contract with the contract committee, you will remain our principal oversea supplier for years.
Beside the medical devices, other products needed are listed below.
Hence, you may apply beyond the scope of your company products and services if only you have the capacity to execute the contracts.
I will be acting as your local agent to help and represent your company in matters relating to this tender bidding, as well as representing your company before the Contract Committee Board.
The mode of payment is 80% Bank (T/T) in advance and 20% during shipment.
Below are the products urgently needed and other products which
are not listed are many, you are expected to tell us more about your products and we will give you a feedback as soon as we hear from you.
1: MINISTRY OF AGRICULTURE:
Water treatment plants and Chemicals,
Animal, Feeds/ingredients, Horse feeds
Fertilizers, Agrochemicals Products,
pesticides and crop protection chemicals,
seed treatment chemicals, Knapsack sprayer, Tractors.
2. MINISTRY OF WORKS:
Supply of Construction Equipments,
Grey Cement, Cement Clinkers,
Machineries and Parts, such as:-
Excavator Pump, Dumpers, Road Roller, Loader Parts,
3: MINISTRY OF INTERIOR
Domestic Sewing Machines,
PVC Raincoats,
Safety boot and Helmet,
T-shirts,
Rescue Boats
Life jackets
Musical Equipments
Ultrasound Equipments
Building Materials
Survey equipments,
Construction Equipments.
4: MINISTRY OF EDUCATION
Laptop and Desk Top Computers,
Tex Books, Exercise Books,
Educational infrastructure
5: MINISTRY OF HEALTH
Medical and laboratory equipments,
Vaccines,
Condoms,
Pharmaceutical Products
HIV test kits and first aid kits.
Digital Thermometer,
Medical Devices
First Aid Equipments
Hospital bed sheets and Pillow cases.
6: MINISTRY OF SPORTS
Sports Equipments.
Ministry of defense
Laser Devices
AUTO MOBILES
Fire Ambulances
Health Ambulances
Dump Trucks.
Tractors,
Armored Trucks
Armored Vehicles
Money Transit Vehicles
Motorcycles
Coach buses
Sports Cars
Tender is open to all eligible foreign contractors from eligible source countries as defined in the guidelines of the Contract Committee Board of the Republic of Ghana.
If your company is interested in this offer and wishes to participate in this tender bidding, contact me.
Yours faithfully
Dr. Byron Addams
Govt. Accredited Agent
Accra Ghana
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