Though many would have you believe that white people come of age at Summer Camp, it’s simply not the truth. Immediately following graduation but prior to renovating a house, white people take their first step from childhood to maturity by hosting a successful dinner party.
It is imperative that white people know how to host a good dinner party as they will be expected to do it well into retirement.
At the most basic level, these simple gatherings involve 3-6 couples getting together at a single house or apartment, having dinner and talking for 5-6 hours. Though it might seem basic these events are some of the most stressful situations in all of white culture.
Hosts are expected to deliver a magical evening. The food must be home made with fresh, organic ingredients, the music must be just right (ambient, new, but not too loud), and the decorations inside the house should be subtle but elegant. The ultimate goal is to do a better job than the couple at the last dinner party while attempting to make everyone jealous and sort of dislike you.
The dinner party is the opportunity for white people to be judged on their taste in food, wine, furniture, art, interior design, music, and books. Outside of dictatorships and a few murder trials, there might not be a more rigorous judgment process in the modern world. Everything must be perfect. One copy of US Weekly, a McDonalds wrapper, a book by John Grisham, a Third Eye Blind CD, or an Old School DVD can undo months and maybe even years of work.
Even before guests arrive the pressure on the host is immense and it does not let up once people begin to arrive. While eating, drinking, and conversation are expected to fill up 5-6 hours, sometimes it’s just not enough. In order to fill the silence, white people will often turn to board games (Cranium!) or Wii Bowling. This lets everyone have fun together without having to really talk to each other, which is usually more fun anyways.
It is strongly encouraged to bring a gift to these dinner parties, usually either wine or some kind of dessert. If you are able to bring a particularly rare dish from your culture, you will be the star of the party. To seal the deal, be sure to explain as much as you possibly can about the dish: history, availability, and the proper way to eat it. Every white person at the party will be taking mental notes and will be in your debt for introducing them to something new and authentic. If a white person says they have eaten the dish before, it is best to respond by saying “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.”
The entire party will universally acknowledge you as the top guests, even the hosts will appreciate you for bringing diversity to the table in both food and person form.
GO LEAFS
Classic!
ABSOLUTELY classic! One of the best!
A John Grisham novel undoing years of work! LMAO!
Taboo or Shoot the Moon is also popular!!!!!
ahh finally board games makes an appearance.
sweet dude!
Damn.
White.
People.
Are.
Superficial.
I ripped off stuffwhitepeoplelike in my latest post on ipostupost.com, except in my version, you get to decide who likes what.
And don’t forget to invite your black/gay friends with PhD’s in anthropology. 😉
one of the funniest posts yet!
http://stuffcollegepeoplelike.wordpress.com
Wow pretty funny, I’m 40 and still have not been able to throw a successful dinner party, good for BBQ’s but no table inside to sit at!
Cheers!
Jeff ;-} & Jack =^..^= the cat
Best of the net http://www.jeffslist.net
“you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.”
On. The. Floor. HILARIOUS
Doh! Th’ Wife and I are slated to meet with 2 other couples to start putting on dinner parties! Now I’m a foppish whitebread? C’mon, all our other friends are too scattered, strugglin’ and “under the weather” to make box macaroni, let alone mildly complex meals. We’re married with kids and don’t get out much! Well, at least I’m the boorish lout in the social group; we’ll hardly get graded much worse than we already are for having taste beneath the “New York Review of Books.”
“Suburban Bourgeois Boho,” with its ridiculous attempt to display a cultivated palate, is still better than “Downtown Artist” — when you hit your mid-thirties like I have, you get tired of hearing about stories that begin and start with weed, and the surly neighborhood youths…
Yes! White people LOVE dinner parties!!
http://mantivity.blogspot.com/
Great post. Wine, cheese, dining–time to pull out all the “Crate and Barrel stuff.
http://www.jonesview.wordpress.com
‘… it is best to respond by saying “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. ..’
I must remember that.
Hey now, I love dinner parties too!
Although, I wasn’t introduced to the concept of the “dinner party” until my freshman year when I met this lovely white couple from Indiana…
I found that some kind of theme usually accompanies the better dinner parties.
http://www.jonesview.wordpress.com
Watch those apostrophes, son.
Jeffrey Dahmer belongs in the Dinner Party Hall of Fame. I hear he had some *really* exotic fare.
Dinner parties are fun. I’m even hosting one tomorrow. Here in college it’s a great way to have a good and wholesome time that stands out in a semester of routine.
The terminology is confusing, to be sure, but remember: never, ever, ever, ever hold your “dinner party” at a “supper club”.
It will take years to shake off a reputation as “the wrong sort of white people”.
I do love this whole project–but it is starting to get old–interject something new in it
I absolutely can not believe that Burning Man has not made its way onto your blog yet.
As someone who dangerously straddles the fence between white and “ethnic”, this website is immensly helpful for me as I sort out my identity.
Just brilliant!!
holy shit this was one of my favorite yet, and that’s saying a lot because I love all of your stuff. I am indeed white, and I can tell you there is nothing my mother loves more than an excruciatingly well-planned dinner party. you hit the nail on the head every time.
oh, I also found the john grisham reference extremely hilarious.
“One copy of… a book by John Grisham… can undo months and maybe even years of work.”
Economists call this “Grisham’s Law”– bad literature drives out good: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gresham's_Law
I had my first one several years ago…it was intense pressure! Not one since. If only a guest might have brought homemade nanima bars…
there is nothing my middle-aged white mother loves more than an excruciatingly well-planned dinner party.
love it.
wait, there’s a john grisham stigma?
YES! And cooking “ethnic” cuisine too! Some of the stuff I have done: Shabu Shabu, Vegan Pho, Indian.
Don’t forget the beet & goat cheese appetizer, the staple of EVERY WHITE PERSON MENU EVER (at least in Los Angeles).
This isnt true! im white and i hate dinner parties. jk
im at a dinner party right now.
@ Mammoth…only white drugged out losers go to burning man (think 40 year old men with $100K in student loan debt for going to eastern medicine school to become acupuncturists)…it’s definitely not something that white-urban-hipster-yuppies do. We make fun of people who go to burning man.
At a recent dinner party, the background music was “I Heard It on NPR” Jazz CD.
“… The dinner party is the opportunity for white people to be judged on their taste in food, wine, furniture, art, interior design, music, and books.”
Totally true. It’s a vetting process, when you get down to it.
So far, this site is one for the ages. Keep bringing the funny!
“In order to fill the silence, white people will often turn to board games (Cranium!) or Wii Bowling.”
Don’t forget cooking! Time spent finishing dinner translates into phased talking times. 🙂
Only the most intrepid hosts dare break out iced tubs of PBR as beverage of choice during Wii Bowling.
Do you have the ironic chops it takes to pull it off?
…Well do ya, PUNK?
C & M, I am picking my school later today
Thank you for your support
Terrelle
And of course, only couples are invited to the dinner parties.
http://moveitmoveit.wordpress.com
#26 Or at least talking about the original Burning Man Jack Parsons…
I can’t believe photography hasn’t got a post, especially analogue, on vintage cameras in B&W. Hogla anyone?
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. There even is a Stuff Iranian People Like now.
Spice up the dinner party by fancyin’ up cheap food that the other whiteys wouldn’t ever be caught eating if they knew it! The possibilities are endless!!!
lol…
http://stuffcollegepeoplelike.wordpress.com
I’ve read all of these and find them funny, but scarily accurate. In this one, is your first noticible mistake, I’m pretty sure. “sometimes it’s just no enough.” should be “sometimes it’s just not enough.” If I’m not mistaken.
I am gay.
You forgot about the white wife who drinks too much wine and tells embarrassing sexual stories about her husband. He slouches in the couch and verbally abuses her in the car ride home.
http://thisdevilsworkday.wordpress.com/
In the Czech Republic it is customary to have evening sessions, rather than dinner parties, so people are sat around couches, armchairs and TV tables. The funny thing often is that it is customary to REFUSE THE FIRST OFFER (“would you like some this or that”) because you don’t want to be the first hungry or thirsty one, or the first alcoholic, for that matter, but later when more people join, it is easier to accept…
The Daily Czech
Go thru host’s medicine cabinet too. Hosts, pay attention and stash your “skeletons”. We whiteys can be sneaky and will eat our own for personal gain.
My white girlfriend and I Love Dinner Parties but because we live on the wrong side of town there aren’t any, and no one will drive over to our house when we throw one. How can we solve this problem until our neighborhood is fully gentrified? http://vipersofeden.wordpress.com
VipersOfEden, we have the same problem in our ultradiverse “wrong side”. So we’re thinking of throwing parties for our other-than-white, other-than-American neighbors.
What is an appropriate gift for a clitoridectomy shower?
40 Entry Level White Person
Only the most intrepid hosts dare break out iced tubs of PBR as beverage of choice during Wii Bowling.
Do you have the ironic chops it takes to pull it off?
…Well do ya, PUNK?
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
On the floor.Snotting,farting& drooling in laughter.
HAHA!! This is a good one! I know some white people and they’re are EXACTL like the species described in this blog SCARY & HILARIOUS!
We are always having dinner parties at gaycondo! It’s just what we do. Won’t you join us?
http://gaycondo.wordpress.com
ps: don’t bring green bean casserole, it’s covered already!
This has to be your funniest one yet!
http://stufffilmcriticslike.wordpress.com/
I was thinking of suggesting to buy one gift from the local shop in America. But, after reading your post I will suggest my uncle who is going to US for the first time to take one local wine from here in Nepal that many white people who visited this country liked, to the dinner party he is going to attend in New York next month.
Not very often do I find white people funny(I’m black) but your style of comedy is genius. Your material should be on T.V.
people often bring wine, then they want theirs to be opened and well liked!!
Man, I’ll just BET that food is vegan and came from the Farmers Market. Hissssssss.
Whatever you do, if you go to a dinner-party hosted by Italians, do not bring anything French or Greek, or it will get dismissed after a quick nod and thanks. If not Italian, it must be something totally un-Italian, like fine whiskey or something.
Gotta have the correct cheese knives for the platter!
If you have six couples over, you should announce in advance what the menu will be. You don’t want to end up with one person eating something else just because they are allergic to veal. Or sweet potatoes….
clander comes us with some great photos for this blog.
Very funny!
When are you going to do “Bologna sandwiches on WonderBread with mayo & American ‘cheese’ with the crust cut off”?
haha isnt that wierd:
Nice!!
If there’s not a copy of “Old School” stashed somewhere, then the host is only passing as white.
Another thing some hyper-educated (white?) folks like to do is point out “mistakes” in grammar and usage. Two in the “dinner party” post are especially unfortunate, being–as they are–in a piece about “good form.”
In the third paragraph from the end, appears, “. . . it’s just no enough.” Clearly, “not” is intended, so this blunder is just the result of carelessness, which might make it ironic considering you have been warning us all about the importance of attention to detail in planning and executing the dinner party. Yet note also the correct use of “it’s” (short for it is) in this context.
Yet, just a few sentences later, “. . . about the dish and it’s history . . . ” appears in the penultimate paragraph. Now the context in this paragraph calls for the use of “its” (possessive form, meaning “belongs to it”). Here the offense against the rules of written English calls into question not just the degree to which you have been careful in composing your post, but also raises serious doubts about whether you really know the rules at all, a much more serious matter, I think you’ll agree.
You forgot the most important principle of a WP dinner party – pot luck. Rare is the WP who will *not* ask you to bring something, usually something specific, to their dinner party. The host usually focuses on setting, music and good canapes. The guests are allowed to make a play for coolness via the dishes they bring, or an exotic food item from a country they just visited, or a rare bottle of wine.
If you invite a WP to your (un-white) dinner party they will say how they are looking forward to a big (Mexican/Vietnamese/Chinese/Indian) feast, and ask if you are making recipes you got from your grandmother (under no circumstances must you let on that you googled a quick and dirty recipe). There is a good chance that they will ask if they can bring someone you have never met because that person simply loves the food from your country. But it is frowned upon to bring an un-preselected/screened person to a WP dinner party because that would upset the careful balance of diversity and coolness they have planned.
Actually, WP probably like the *idea* of a dinner party more than the party itself – lots of Gourmet and Saveur clippings are set aside for such, but they are rarely used.
Also particular to these white people dinner parties is the practice of discussing the food in depth (otherwise, how will everyone know it’s local organic?) and food philosophy a la Michael Pollan.
I AM (STILL) SO WHITE!
John Grisham book, US Weekly.. that was too funny. Don’t dvd with NFL highlights and commentary from Howie and Terry.
http://www.poeticmotherlover.com
How about #91 Serial Murder since it seems that *most* serial killers are White?
—
http://thebrokenforum.wordpress.com/
Why is everyone using this blog to advertise THEIR weak assed blogs?
This is definitely one of the very funniest so far :D! LOL…
This is great and so true.
Before we had a child we threw a lot of dinner parties but they were unlike the ones some of our friends invited us to. We always thought it strange when we went to a party and nobody danced!
Yeah, yeah, at our parties there was the special food, sparkling floors, and a clean bathroom (w/incriminating meds taken out of the medicine cabinet). Yet, ours always included live music and dance.
We like to dance. My spouse plays amazing Haitian drums along with some of our friends.
Yes, we’re so white…. In fact, I’m in the midst of planning a dinner party right now. This one will include small children. It will begin and end earlier than our former dinner parties to accomadate the rug rats. Kids love to drum so it should still be fun. It’s the hand washing of the dishes that’s a drag. No dishwasher here. 😦
Peace.
http://www.diehipster.com
Just found the site. This is some funny shit! You helped me learn I’m not white at all.
Keep it up!
Turd.
Cranium…maybe.
Settlers of Catan…an absolute must!
Your posts certainly make me chuckle, but this is the first one with which I can actually identify.
Dinner Parties ROCK! Themed Dinner Parties are the Ultimate experience!
“Sometimes it’s just no enough…” no = not.
This blog is startlingly true.
Keep doing what you’re doing.
I’m Blogrollin’ you up on my site.
I’m going to two dinner parties in the next two weeks with the girl I’m seeing (a yoga teacher who just yesterday was rocking a custom-made burnout tee with an ironic statement). The hosts will both be couples who’ve moved back to the city. The food will be raw and/or vegan.
Can you quantify for me how many White points I’ll have earned by month’s end?
P.S. Just yesterday I bought a Klean Kanteen and a vintage calculator watch. Please add to my total.
White people like:
– Tupperwear Parties
– GTO’s
– Kareoke
– SUVs/Mini Vans
– Working out at the Y
– Awful 80’s music because they think they’re edgy.
– Retro themed parties, and parties on boats
– Art Galleries
Old School is a great movie. Otherwise, great work.
Hey guys. This site’s totally true. My friend also sent me the asian version. It’s ok…
http://www.stuffasianpeoplelike.net
Lartimus.
This entry hits so many targets that it has to be one of the best yet.
I am a white person who works at a museum in the UK. As you can imagine, museums are full of the right kind of white people. Unfortunately for me I don’t seem to be the right kind of white person.
The last time I went to a party with the other white people I work with was on New Years Eve. Someone had the bright idea to break out the Trivial Pursuit. Trivial Pursuit seems to be popular with some white people as it allows them the opportunity to demonstrate how clever they are at remembering all the things that white people are meant to know about. It was the most miserable time I’ve ever had at a party.
Keep up the good work!
This is so TRUE! I’m 45 and I threw my first dinner party ony 5 months ago! And I’m GAY! Why? Because of how scared shitless I was that it would flop, and all of my friends would drop me for being a failure…
I spent 6 months planning it, and in the privacy of my own kitchen experimented with over 40 different recipes just to get the menu correct. I also repainted the dining room and bought new china for the event.
The whole thing cost me about 2500 dollars and I was still a nervous wreck 2 weeks AFTER the dinner party.
When we have people over I’m just happy if I can get the floor mopped.
“76 Uhura
Why is everyone using this blog to advertise THEIR weak assed blogs?”
Obviously, they’re all desperately trying to leech off the runaway success of this blog, but they’re all made of fail. I don’t even reward them with a click-through they’re so lame in their intent. I treat them like Viagra-type email spam, completely ignoring them. (Mmmm…Spam…)
You may, however, want to place the following book on your coffee table:
“The Only Black at a Dinner Party by Eric Miyeni
Hahaha, this is awesome. We love the dinner parties, but the best for us happen when we just order a pizza or Chinese.
Bring out the BBQ!
Oh, and Shreena Lang…check out my blog. Heh heh.
TOTALLY AGREE!
I’d much rather see them use it to advertise strong-assed blogs like this one:
http://www.jtcinc.blogspot.com
Quality was slipping there for awhile, but it seems you’re back in the game. Keep it up.
Stuff Michael Jackson Likes:
snoutrockets.com
A-heeee-heee!
” … you possibly can about the dish and it’s history, availability, and the proper way to eat it…”
It’s not “it’s,” but rather “its.”
Don’t forget the CHARADES!!!!! Playing Charades is sooooooooooooooo white!
And then there are the weekly dinner parties on a set day. I have multiple white friends who have a set day every week for their “Dinner Clubs”. And they rotate from each person’s home so they all get the chance to try and impress the others.
[…] I cackled with fiendish glee over What White People Like: Dinner Parties. […]
Thats funny but I throw “swinger”parties. Last time I checked, Sex is better than acting fake while eating food.
nude twister anyone?
John Grisham link is broken.
This is so perfect.
Good one, these were first introduced to me in college as “wine & cheese” parties.
Steve-O, I gave that link the obligatory click and that $hit was weak too.
http://www.niggaknow.com
I agree with I think not: it’s the wrong sort of white people who go to Burning Man. A different sort of wrong than this site usually talks about, but totally unacceptable nonetheless!
I think you’re a little off with the Third Eye Blind, US Weekly and Grisham references–those can all be enjoyed ironically. Remember, white people are all about self-reference and irony, not about perfectionism. You wrote about that yourself–see #50 and #20.
Loved reading this one.
I would enjoy this blog more if the author were fully literate. I’m not sure whether it’s the typos, the bizarre punctuation, or the clunky syntax that bothers me the most. Is there a chance that a native English speaker could proof-read the posts before they go up?
As a white dinner party hostess of Italian descent, I can heartily agree with the above poster about bringing the right type of wine. One time, a couple we invited brought a large bottle of matteus rose and proceeded to drink the entire bottle themselves (because no one else would touch it). Obviously, they are the wrong type of white people and will not be invited again.
Brilliant post, BTW. I have a music mix on my ipod especially for dinner parties. You nailed it again!
White people do love them some dinner party. Has anyone ever heard of a “progressive party”? This is something I think mainly white folk do where one couple will host other couples for an appetizer at their house, then everyone will get in their cars and drive to another person’s house for the salad, back to the cars to another house for the main course and then ditto for the dessert. This seems like way too much work just to eat a meal, but the plus side is you don’t have to talk anyone too much.
http://www.flamingspinach.com
Great, great, stuff. When is the book coming out?
I thought dinner party was another way of saying, stuck up white people who drink too much and talk about their overinflated sense of self worth while playing board games that, if they involve knowledge Ex: Trivial Pursuit, show how out of touch they really are. Dinner Parties suck unless they are swinger parties and you can get a hummer from your wifes hot coworker.
Did you forget that at least once you have to throw a party with an ethnically diverse guest list and spend long hours figuring out the right mix of African-American, Indian, and visiting European guests to invite? These don’t have to be close friends; acquaintances of the right ethnicity can be imported to the party as pseudofriends, as long as you play up the closeness of the relationship when you introduce them. As a woman with black, white and Cherokee heritage, I have often been invited to produce that balance; being a well-educated professional assures that I won’t embarrass the host and hostess by being too strongly representative of any of my cultures.
Essie
http://www.essiewb.wordpress.com
I was at a dinner party with 3 other couples last night……then I come into the office this morning to find this post. Brilliant!!!!!
#111 JoseOle FOR THE WIN!!!!
So straight people have them, too.
Stuff Gay Guys Like/Dinner Parties
So straight people have them, too.
Stuff Gay Guys Like-Dinner Parties
[…] Because I read posts like this and crack up, because y’know, mea culpa. At the most basic level, these simple gatherings […]
Too funny and perfect! I just had a dinner party a couple weeks ago and was completely stressed because I made everything from scratch!
What’s wrong with Third Eye Blind?! I love them!
I hired caterers. How white is that?
http://twobarkingdogs.wordpress.com/
don’t forget that we have to use fine china, too! dishes worth a ridiculous amount of money that we either inherited or bought for just such occasions, which is to say a few times a year. and if the dish has even the slightest nick in it, it must be thrown away. serving a guest on a nicked plate will certainly undo years of work…
Awesome! I was practically rolling on the floor.
Another hit! The pressure of which you speak is exactly why I stopped trying to throw parties of any kind YEARS ago.
I never knew whether people would show up or not, and all the planning, wondering whether people would have reason to judge me and my choices. And I thought that once the guests arrived I could just have fun with them.
Hell, no. That made me even MORE nervous!! So, I decided it would be best for me to attend events and not host them ever, ever again.
The White Person Dinner Party defeated me.
i would say white people like potlucks even more
NEVER bring anything to a dinner party that you expect to be eaten/drunk that night. The host and hostess have spent months planning the menu and showing up with your own dessert/appies/wine and expecting it to be thrown in to the menu is soooooooooo rude.
don’t forget the “only for dinner guests unitaskers” like chopstick rests and finger bowls. And words like unitaskers!!!
As a white person, I simply would not lower myself or my standards to attending a dinner party in which dessert was not served by the guest. It is much better to bring wine as a gift; if you cannot produce wine, then flowers are a second option. A dessert is reprehensible. Someone has clearly dropped the ball if they aren’t providing dessert. It’s akin to running a marathon, coming in first place and then stopping right before the finish line to tie your shoe. Bad form, indeed.
#25 is right….yawn….
And stop giving ideas, once you do that he can’t use them:
How about ‘artwork’….see, now we’ll never see that one…
Total workout man. Now we just spend the same amount of money on way better wine and expensive cheese.
Still hide the chick lit though!
Great post. ‘can undo months and maybe even years of work’
I almost spit up my much liked white people beverage (coffee) all over the keyboard.
There should be a post on rainbow festivals… typically 98%+ white people in attendance.
Yeah I don’t get the bringing food thing either. Unless it’s a sports night or something.
This is pretty sad… I just had a dinner party..
I went to a dinner party Saturday night and brought a homemade apple pie (with Gran Marnier in the recipe, no less–from epicurious.com). I was representing my authentic Southern culture, and of course made mention of the fact that the piecrust recipe was my great-grandmother’s. I love this blog.
Standing ovation for today’s classic lines:
“Though it might seem basic, these events are some of the most stressful situations in all of white culture.”
“Outside of dictatorships and a few murder trials, there might not be a more rigorous judgment process in the modern world.”
“… it is best to respond by saying “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.” “
109 madrugada jones asks about “progressive dinners” — they’re a New England WASP church tradition! Our eminently WASP Congregational Church used to hold them regularly, perhaps 2-3 times a year, with up to a couple of hundred people participating, in groups of 10-20 at each house for each course, with people bringing various courses. It was a hoot, and it was quite serendipitious whether one would eat well or not.
Dinner parties, of course, fall into two categories — catered, and home cooked. The former is most common among the upper middle class, where a working wife regards herself as too busy to do it (and probably can’t cook anyway). In upper class homes, if the hostess has a regular chef, he or she will prepare the meal. Otherwise, the hostess will herself cook, and, in such cases, will almost always be a much better cook than one might expect.
There are few rules for the dinner party, but one of them (which is straight out of the 1922 edition of Emily Post!) is that you NEVER discuss how good the food is. The reason for this is simple: the guest assumes the food will be outstanding — a hostess would not serve guests anything less — and to talk about how good the food is would be to imply that there was a possibility it might not be! The most I have ever heard about the food at a high WASP dinner party was a remark on the order of “How nice that you’ve served [haggis], Mildred, it’s a particular favorite of mine.”
On the other hand, if the company is knowledgeable about wine, it’s perfectly proper to discuss the wines (which will be excellent at this level) in some detail. But, one must be careful. You might find yourself between a wine lover on one side and a novice on the other — care must be taken when the table turns not to try to discuss the wine with someone whose knowledge and/or interest is limited.
For WASPs who want to entertain, but do not cook and do not want a catered meal, there is a third variety of dinner party, known as ‘dinner at the club’ — in which Clubwin Jones and his wife will invite several couples to dine with them at their town or country club. A larger group will usually be hosted in a private dining room at the club — especially if some of the guests are not club members — but a smaller group may well be served in a public room.
The safest thing to bring to a White Dinner Party is flowers, or perhaps chocolates. Other food items are chancy — unless unique and you know the hostess likes them. Wine seems to be brought often, but is really very risky. If the host is a connoisseur, and you are as well and know his palate, this can be great fun — I have several friends among whom we always share interesting bottles that we have unique access to. But, if you bring a Yellow Tail merlot (for example) when the host is serving an old Hermitage or Barolo, others may notice and act (but never remark) accordingly.
Hey Guys, even though this isn’t an activity for white people it seems like this was thought up by a bunch of white people. Anyway, I’m going.
Live entertainment, free wifi (for blogging etc), free coffee, door prizes. Everything is 100% free! Come to Grace Cafe!
When: Saturday March 29th
Where: Glendale Church – 2021 West Glenoaks Blvd Glendale CA 91201
Essie: I have five words for you-
Make. use. of. white. space
The way your blog is set up makes me NOT want to read it.
Talk about a buzz-kill. We brought our two kids to the last dinner party.
http://stuffwhiteparentslike.wordpress.com
This is so true it had me rolling. It is like Pottery Barn on steroids where I live and if you aren’t cohabiting in a newly architectured, designed home with two ovens, you don’t make the cut =)
Especially funny because there is an article in this month’s Vanity Fair about dinner parties!
Dear Matt #136,
STFU and DIAF ASAP
THX-J
“Everything must be perfect. One copy of US Weekly, a McDonalds wrapper, a book by John Grisham, a Third Eye Blind CD, or an Old School DVD can undo months and maybe even years of work.”
LMAO.
And don’t forget the dinner party must have seasonally or holiday appropriate table ware (plates, serving dishes, etc.) from Crate & Barrel or Williams Sonoma. The specialization of tableware is so early 19th century. lol.
Flip flops… white people LOVE flip flops… please add this one….
White people like to use apostrophes incorrectly, like in it’s instead of its for a possessive.
My girlfriend loves hosting these miserable things. That means I get stuck cleaning even if I want nothing to do with any of it. Everything we serve is a meat dish with only token vegetarian/vegan crap. And we have an instrumental CD of Jimmy Buffett songs plyed on a steel drum. Not white enough for you? Up yours white people! I’m going to drink a beer straight from the can and listen to a Grisham book on tape.
for the record, i think this blog is ridiculous. i’m all about those lists that are funny cuz they’re true. but this is not even close to being true for half the white people around the world. i wonder where you get this stuff from cuz it’s a very narrow view that is ignorant of anthropological analysis (if you were going for an analysis of white culture) or witty/satirical truths (if you were going from comedy). keep working on it. maybe eventually you’ll get something that’s close enough to the truth to be either funny or accurate or both….
Ha, the last two posts are perfect. Not only did I recently host a dinner party, but it was also a St. Patrick’s Day theme!
White people love to correct other white people’s grammar.
lol this is another good post
This stuff is TOO HYSTERICAL!!!!! I’m laughing so hard I need my inhaler!
Wii has bowling??? I am so white & I am soooo buying it!
i love this blog, because i get to laugh and make fun of myself every day.
keep up the great work.
I’m the wrong type of white person, and I get a kick out of this blog.
I am so “wrong” that my blog is titled Harleys, Cars, Girls & Guitars .”
Git-R-Done!
You people REALLY need to click here: http://stuffblackpeoplehate.com/
Children are also not invited to these events as their presence will distract from the serious conversation. Jenga and karyoke are also popular things to do at these.
Do I have the ironic chops? I do!
I threw a comfort food-themed dinner party! I tewtally win!
Another thing white people like: Ridiculous old-fashioned names for their kids. I, myself, have a Margaret.
Some of the first white people were Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau. They studied abroad, had dinner parties and strived for authenticity. Thoreau even went camping for two years saying, “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what is had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” This is classic white people talk in search of authenticity.
throwing a dinner party provides a much needed opportunity to use the aforementioned “kitchen gadgets” that you recvd from your williams sonoma wedding registry!!!
“le Creuset, Calphalon, All Clad, Williams Sonoma, and Sur Le Table.”
You know, any time that I feel like making a comment to one of your posts I come to the realization that anything I can say will only add to and reinforce the stereotype that you’ve already illuminated. So I say nothing and continue to laugh.
Thank you my friend, for bringing the funny every time.
#9- I have a black lesbian friend with a PhD in Anthropology. She and her white partner hosted a fabulous dinner party.
You need more dudes in that photo. The one blonde chick in the italic pink satin shirt looks lonlely.
Guys at my high school had dinner parties all the time, it was no big deal.
The John Grisham line slays me. I know people who go out of their way to leave opened copies of Atlantic Monthly or Harper’s lying around when they have people over.
“Oh look dear, Susan must be reading Way & Peace again, she must be over here Sophocles obsession.”
“Dinner Parties” is the consummate entry. Clander should run to a publisher with this one. Slam dunk.
The ultimate host of the white dinner party, almost always the man of the house, will grow the organic ingredients like chard or arugala in his own backyard garden. He is the self-styled constant gardener and gourmet chef rolled into a white person two-fer. This gives him bragging rights to dominate the dinner table conversation with long winded accounts of how he cultivated the food he serves you followed by a step-by-step lecture on how he harvested, chopped, boiled, simmered and seasoned the delicacies throughout the livelong day so you could savor the miracle of his culinary labors. Invariably he is also an amateur restaurant critic who has patronized every restaurant within a hundred mile radius and feels obligated to give you assorted reviews introduced with such rhetorical questions as, “have you tried the new Pol Pot Cambodian restaurant in Pasadena? My familiarity with some Cambodian phrases from my days in the Peace Corps was crucial to getting a good table.”
[IMG]http://blogs.pcworld.com/staffblog/archives/JumpTheShark.jpg[/IMG]
Now the lamest website ever!
i think the way rockie bee (14) composed his post is has latent some post fodder. something about word of the day calendars, or widgets, perhaps? or general verbosity. also, i think you missed with the third eye blind. its old enough to be nostalgic, and white people love nostalgia.
This site does crack me up. Maybe will do a rip off site titled “Stuff Republicians like”. It would be to scary for the kids.
http://ideasandrevolution.net/
Mango Girl wrote: “You forgot the most important principle of a WP dinner party – pot luck. Rare is the WP who will *not* ask you to bring something, usually something specific, to their dinner party.”
————————–
fail.
only tacky, rednecky white people would do this. my wife is as white as they come and she would NEVER ask someone to bring something to a dinner party. mangogirl, you need to keep social climbing for some better white friends…they’re keeping you down.
btw, this post is money. i thought this blog might have jumped the shark with the ‘graduate degrees’ post a couple of weeks ago…this post is a re-birth!
Jumped the shark (164)? Well, maybe… the idea fountain will eventually run dry.
But… this was a fabulous post that covered many of the pathetic urban-intelligentsia pi$$ing matches that some of us have to endure. Nice work, as usual…
Remember, kids: The more you have outside, the less you have inside.
Dayum.
SHUT IT DOWN!!!
roflcopter.
This site is so brilliantly funny that I have decided I would like to marry the author.
And no, I’ve never thrown a dinner party.
167 happyjack wrote: “only tacky, rednecky white people would do this. my wife is as white as they come and she would NEVER ask someone to bring something to a dinner party.”
That’s true EXCEPT among young (usually) childress white people just out of college and settled into their first apartments…. at that stage, they’re just feeling the whole being grown-up thing out. Especially if they have parents who ‘entertained’ many will feel intimidated at trying a full scale dinner party, and their budgets would be strained trying to match Mom’s six course, 8 wines standard. Hence, they have more informal affairs, where they do ask one another to contribute to the meal. It’s only when they realize they do a better job on the food if they do it themselves in consultation with Mom, and the wines will go better with the food if they supply them in consultation with Dad, that they emerge from the pupaehood of youth into being adult social butterflies.
#70:
you have to read all of the posts, to make such conclusions.
you may be a GREAT source for correct use of grammar, but
you’re clearly no statistician.
perhaps clander
was drunk
was in a rush
has an intermittently stuck keyboard
feeling careless, OR
trying to illicit a comment
such as yours.
picky picky is a master of his/her world.
clander is a genius, get over it.
Further… for many white girls this transformation hits about the time relationships get serious and they give in to Mom’s importuning to “do the League, dear!”
#75:
c’mon basic logic, man. most white folks, as other folks
of color, are not serial murderers.
this blog is about superficial generalizations that approach true stereotypes, not generalizing
to an entire population what VERY few of any population do.
I’m black. I had about 7 of my friends over for dinner… they are also black. And NEVER again! Too much pressure. Too much complaining. Everybody expected Taboo… because black people LOVE Taboo… and was mad that I didn’t have it. I’ll leave the dinner parties for the white folks 😉
ko — i’m still laughing!
Black people DO LOVE Taboo.
For white people, food = entertainment.
LMAO, as always. Love this blog. (Btw, I’m not white but my spouse is. However, I am working on finishing a completely useless PhD in a social science.) I would add that to said dinner parties, one would win brownie points if at least one couple present is gay and/or interracial. Double brownie points if gay couple is also an interracial couple. Even more so if gay interracial couple has a child that is bilingual.
I guess I’m the wrong kind of white people. I have barbecues and invite friends to get shitfaced drunk. Being the wrong kind of white person seems like a lot more fun.
I think your waaaaay off on “Old School” that id defintely in the accepted list of stupid movies as well as Harold and Kumars, Caddyshack and Happy Gilmore…….unaccepted would be any other Sandler flick, any Ernest movie etc……
Funny but just not that sharp….get back on track.
Totally agree with the person that said burning man also throw in jambands especially Phish, dreadlocks etc…..
Happyjack, is a fortysomething university professor high enough on the social ladder for you? Urban nonprofit-working hipsters? That’s a sample of the bring-something population I’m familiar with. The proper dinner party is an ideal, I think, for the yuppie population, but you can probably count on one hand the people you know who have actually had one.
Though yes, it *is* generally the childless/unmarried who end up providing only canapes, plates and silverware.
the last time my wife and i (i’m asian-american, she’s asian) went to a white dinner party, my wife got a ton of unprovoked hate from the white women in attendance. my wife, not being used to such unabashed whiteness was pretty hurt. after the party, i had to explain to her how white women are deeply jealous of asian women.
anyways, that’s the last white party we’re going to. you white people suck!
when is “stuffwhitepeoplelike.com” going to be on stuffwhitepeople like?
Honestly this is the funniest site. I think (as a white “dude”) alot of these posts are somewhat inaccurate, but they do apply to most white people. But then again we all know how white people dont want to be normal or the same as everyone, so I am pretty sure that the majority of people reading these posts (white people mostly) do not openly agree with what is said about there beloved race. I like how the posts cover all aspects of HUMAN EXISTANCE in this generation and no matter what argument you try, youll lose because something has been said in these posts to counter your retarded as excuse of why you dont apply to whats been posted. I think its great. The only thing i dont agree on is that these posts are not about white people, they are about all people just flipped around. It seems the few who post these articles have a wierd infatuation with white culture, which is cool i guess. Ohh a few ideas, Post something on “WIGGERS” and how white people hate them lol, and post something on GOLF, Nascar, Football….just some suggestions
A crucial point that was overlooked, which especially pertains to the dinner party, but really to white entertainment events in general. Valet Parking. Especially in Los Angeles, a dinner party is not complete without hiring a valet company to park the cars of the guests for a few hour event. At times this is necessary if the neighborhood requires it, other times it is just ridiculous, as most cars are simply parked on a wide open flat street in front of the house.
Speaking of dinner parties, check out our new site in a couple hours when it goes live:
http://www.cheeseandcrackersforobama.com
Yum.
out. stand. ing. (White people like spacing words with periods.)
white people are also very fond of heather armstrong.
Mango girl: “you can probably count on one hand the people you know who have actually had [a proper dinner party].”
A girlfriend and I threw a few on typical yuppie occasions (e.g. Bastille Day) when we were first yups in New York…. it was a lot of fun — but many of the guests were rather overwhelmed to walk in to a typical apartment to be met with the ‘Champagne and hors d’oeuvres, soup course with simple Chablis, fish course with Chardonnay, game hens with Cotes d’Or Burgundy, rack of lamb with fully mature top level Bordeaux and California Cabernet, salad course, cheese course with vintage port, and sweet course with madeira, espresso and/or cognac.”
It was really a lot of fun, but a ton of work and very dear….
I always worry that you’re going to run out of things that we as a people enjoy. But you never do. I love it here.
WHY on earth would white women hate asian women??????
[…] some days later…how funny is this post on Stuff White People Like–#90-Dinner Parties […]
No shark-jumping with this post. Keep up the good work!
Also, while couples-only is usually the rule, it is often good form to invite a recently-bereaved single, or a lonely-heart who has just moved to town &/or has just started working with your firm, or a client’s firm. Finally, to add to the pressure, schedule the dinner for a Weekend or Monday night during football season, esp. when the local teams is playing. This sometimes forces the obssessed Male fan out of the closet and into the firing-line of the more refined guests.
This blog has three entry types.
A. There’s the “stuff that white hipsters like me feel funny liking so i’ll assume all white people do and make a entry about it” ie. obsessing over my ironic t-shits & acting like a dick at dinner parties, the idea of soccer
B. There’s also the “stuff hipsters like me would not be caught dead liking so i’ll make fun of other white people that do” ie wearing fleece, wearing shorts, having fun on st. patrick’s day
C. Then there’s the quite common “I better pull something out of my ass and post something quick, no matter how irrelevent, so i don’t lose google ad revenue” ie. dogs, bicycles, netflix
Stick with A, they’re the funniest.
Stuff Negroes Like.
http://coonhuntinginc.wordpress.com
#109
lord knows it’s da troof.
boo hiss all the “jump the shark” claimers. This one is very very good.
Err, are Bastille Day dinner parties really such a cliche? ThoughtIwassounique etc etc.
I suppose it’s the dinner-party-as-chance-to-show-off-how-clever-and-cultured-one-is that’s truly WP. Though I maintain that very few WP, even advanced ones, actually have them. And they become the designated People Who Have Dinner Parties in their social circle, and others might bring offerings but do not generally feel they have to reciprocate, possibly because they see the event as performance rather than social exchange.
#156 Izzil: “Another thing white people like: Ridiculous old-fashioned names for their kids. I, myself, have a Margaret.”
And we have a George. Margaret can hide behind the trendy (for the “wrong kind of white people”) Maggie. George has nowhere to go. Except Newcastle, as a Geordie.
I like your name, too. It reminds me of Isild le Besco, the Breton-Arabic-Vietnamese-French actress, the queen of cluelessness.
Of course, I’ve long since married and moved to the ‘burbs, but all of the white people we know throw dinner parties. Some people prefer smaller parties 1-2 couples, others as many as 8-10 couples. Some people reciprocate directly, others indirclty with seasonal buffet parties where they can invite everyone they owe for the past year or so. The gravest sin in WP suburbia is not to reciprocate a dinner invitation within a reasonable time … do it without a good reason (e.g. if you have new baby, no one expects invitations for a year or so), and you’ll be cut by every hostess in town…..
Re #200 And our George is already posting– at #187! Not bad for three months!
Do we still have time to get him into an A-list preschool?
Hmm, perhaps they do have to move out to the burbs and let a few years pass from their Pottery Barn/Williams Sonoma registering to reach the dinner party giving stage of WP-hood.
white people love homemade tortillas.
The most excrutiating dinner party I ever went to was (ta-da) hosted by white people. Guess what they served? Ethiopian food. I had to stop at a McDonald’s on the way home. Of course I did it in a less upscale neighborhood.
White people like wine you have to get on a waiting list to buy.
Don’t even get me started. I throw some largish dinner parties in Eastport, Maine. They are not themed. Although two are requested to be thrown again in clone version: The Brussel Sprout Festivale and the Winter Solstice Buffet.
I know I should have read your article first, Christian Lander my hero person, but I am doing stuff with firewood and floor refinishing and cannot indulge myself just now. I’ll come back at 11:00 tonight.
HOWEVER, in Paul Fussell’s book, Class, he mentions that there are people who use the phrases ‘dinner party’ and ‘house guest’ and people who don’t. He goes on the explain because he can because he is a wonderful, nasty, White, Ivy League professor. And in his book jacket cover photograph he is seen wearing Bass Brand Weejun loafers with no socks. That’s legit, right?
Speaking of Race. I just went though the Spring edition of the Brooks Brothers catalog. They have taken a perfectly nice looking, partially Black couple and ditto child and dressed them in the most ridiculous outfits that I have never seen in East Hampton or Tortola or Sydney or Oxford. This lovely couple and their lovely male youngster look terrible.
So? Might we have an article on the Spring Brooks Brothers Catalog? It is the Preferred Customer edition. And the whole notion of House Guests. That would be so fun.
Warm personal regards,
Digby
Possible correction? White WOMEN (like me) enjoy the occasional dinner party. Many white men tolerate them.
Especially if the men do the cooking — which is the case with my husband, Lucy, and his soccer-playing man-date friend Ethel — it’s about the men getting to hide in the kitchen while women gossip, then offering spectacular dishes that make everyone go silent in gastronomic delight.
We ladies plan what we’re going to wear, etc., to these things. The men often don’t even shower first. They’re in the kitchen wearing a pointless apron over some old thing they’ve thrown on to work the magic. (They’re wearing shorts, too; kitchens are hot.)
My impression is that most guys would much rather be watching March Madness or something, drinking beer, no women in sight except the ones on the ads. And most women wouldn’t mind if the men weren’t there (talking about the spouse is easier in his absence), either. Dinner parties should be run by great cooks who are Jeeves-y types, and attended by anyone who really wants to go. That’ll be women and gay men — which is fine with us, because all we want to do is talk about fashion and media and people who aren’t there, anyway.
If you want to make a white person burst into tears, arrive at his or her dinner party with a Brunello or Montrachet. You will get on their Our-Year-In-Review Christmas-letter list that very night, and never fall off.
izzil, #156: high on the baby-name charts and rising — Agnes. I had a foster grandmother named Agnes who would have been 101 this year. Now THAT’S vintage.
If I’m hosting, would it be appropriate to discuss all the ingredients in my dish, such as my spaghetti sauce, and the nutritional benefits of each? For instance:
Tomatoes (organic): lycopene and other phytonutrients
basil: digestion — good for nausea from chemotherapy
fennel: helps expel gas
garlic: immune system, circulation/blood pressure, kills parasites, explains why Italians don’t have too many heart attacks despite all the processed meats
or …
Persian Rice
Highly exotic, plus you can explain how you learned the recipe from an expatriate Iranian, and tell second-hand stories about the sweeter side of life before 1979, and then segue into a suitably hip discussion of your favorite fragments of Rumi
Victor Kulkosky
http://outofmymindblog.wordpress.com
I had a hard time relating to this one… Maybe I AM “the wrong kind of white people”.
To the author of this blog, may i know if you are a black or white man or a mid way between those two ?
Key parties are much more entertaining.
Nothing is more awkward than making animated nice-nice
with some couples at one of these parties. The worst experience I ever had was at a vegan pot luck. The people over shared on each thing they brought and the conversation was depressing shit, all about injustices of the world, fair trade and organic living. I’m all for living responsibly but Christ, lighten up. It’s a dinner party not a summit. I don’t think it necessary to roll around in the dirt and talk about shit like American Idol either but there has to be a middle ground.
And re:white people suck:
the last time my wife and i (i’m asian-american, she’s asian) went to a white dinner party, my wife got a ton of unprovoked hate from the white women in attendance. my wife, not being used to such unabashed whiteness was pretty hurt. after the party, i had to explain to her how white women are deeply jealous of asian women.
anyways, that’s the last white party we’re going to. you white people suck!
______________-
Sorry that happened to her. But I really think you are reaching saying all white women are jealous of asian women. I for one like my defined features and wide eyes.
I’m sure your wife has features she likes unique to her race.
Some women are convinced all men have secret asian schoolgirl fetishes and maybe those women were part of that group. I know, however, that it seems a majority of the sad sack, unsuccessful white man with serious dominance issues seems to only like asian women. And that’s great…for them.
Oh and hey, the numbers of Asian women (i.e. in China, Japan..) getting surgery to gain ‘white’ features is a booming business. Eyelid surgery and even some women going as far as getting calf augmentation! Isn’t that interesting? I guess that supposed envy goes both ways.
And you need to CAPITALIZE ‘ASIAN’ unless, of course, you have an inferiority complex.
I am so scared to post on this site from work…But I am. Just want to say you are funny and I like to have dinner parties or “get togehters” as we call them. I just like to get drunk in the house and eat. Why not call the friends???
Yeah, I don’t get this weird dinner party thing. I think it’s awful. When I came to London they all were having them, it’s false and creepy!
Love the site. Keep up the great work.
Too funny; reminds me of this woman I work with; she gets so excited and uptight whenever she has a dinner party you’d think she invited some important like George Bush to the party.
C. Lander,
I had asked you to read ‘Jump the Shark’ about 2 weeks ago. It was rude of me to do that. I was having a mean-spirited, dark day and I took it out on you.
But you are recently so in the clear and so, um,fresh. Have you been discovered yet? I mean, of course, a personality profile piece in The New Yorker? Only one friend has had this feature. A roommate at Cornell, the guy put manatees on the E.S. list. (He will be my house guest in about a week and I will be throwing a dinner party for him.)
I did read here, amongst your fans, that BEING a clue in a NYT cross=word puzzle gets high marks. I have another friend, a roommate from Cornell, who write some puzzles for the NYT. (Yes. A Sunday.) So if you want to BE a clue, maybe I can ask. BTW, the puzzle writer and his wife will be house guests in August, but they do not want a dinner party. I am reluctant to press the ‘white’ button since it is so very not on topic.
Be of good cheer.
Digby
I think I must have just lost my white membership card. I don’t think I have been or been invited to one of these magical gatherings.
Now, I get together with friends. Each of us brings something and we basically hang out. Sometimes one of us cooks a whole meal because we’re CRAZY with ambition…but we don’t pull it off like events.
I was with you on cycling, and clothing and a bunch of other topics. But now my whiteness is in question. What EVER will I do?
Hilarious!
“And you need to CAPITALIZE ‘ASIAN’ unless, of course, you have an inferiority complex.”
As Sidney Poitier would say… “How very white of you!” 🙂
Since you’re on a roll of writing about general experiences that everyone can relate with, why not finish the count with “blogging”— I’m sure most of your visitors can claim that as an “white experience”.
OOooohhhhhhh, Can you do travel magazines?
And the Daily Show?
And weekend trips?
And the once great Dave Chappelle, may he R.I.P.?
Willis was 9/19 for 219 with 2 TDs and 2 INTs, of course it should be noted that in the fourth quarter he threw a short pass to Colombus Givens that erupted into an 86 yard touchdown scamper. Willis spent most of the day throwing pics, missing screen passes, and generally making poor throws.
“Yeah I struggled,” said Willis after the game. “It was raining and the ball was slippery you know? Besides, we won right?”
Willis is a stud in this game if you can just roll him out of the pocket. You know a cheap computer move is always to run the hailmary taking all the defense with the recievers and then you just run with Willis. Too bad SMU sucks in real life.
Good job with SMU Clander. I am proud to know you did such fine work at such a important university
I have a Third Eye Blind album, but it’s hidden deep within my shiny white MacBook…
some white girl said:
“Sorry that happened to her. But I really think you are reaching saying all white women are jealous of asian women. I for one like my defined features and wide eyes.
I’m sure your wife has features she likes unique to her race.
Some women are convinced all men have secret asian schoolgirl fetishes and maybe those women were part of that group. I know, however, that it seems a majority of the sad sack, unsuccessful white man with serious dominance issues seems to only like asian women. And that’s great…for them.
Oh and hey, the numbers of Asian women (i.e. in China, Japan..) getting surgery to gain ‘white’ features is a booming business. Eyelid surgery and even some women going as far as getting calf augmentation! Isn’t that interesting? I guess that supposed envy goes both ways.
And you need to CAPITALIZE ‘ASIAN’ unless, of course, you have an inferiority complex.”
^^^ that was a really white response. i can smell your whiteness through the computer screen.
Love the blog although I am ‘ironically’ dissapointed that I am SO stereotypically white, LOL and I am of the mind that the author is a white female because of the photos on Flckr…or maybe a gay white male
I also agree with other commenters that a post on instructional TV exhibiting skills we will never use would be most excellent {Food Network, Martha Stewart, DIY network, quilting and wood working shows on PBS (The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross), etc… }
oh and thanks to your leafs for taking Ed Belfour off the Dallas Stars hands awhile back. He was getting a little to crazy in dallas with all that kicking shit in the hotel and fighting police. what a crazy dude
#208 Dinner parties should be run by great cooks who are Jeeves-y types, and attended by anyone who really wants to go. That’ll be women and gay men
Wrong. BS!!! The best cooks throughout history, and the best around today, are almost all:
White Straight Gentile Men
gays my ass…….all they do is butcher anything with true taste and honest refinement as evidenced by those goofs and “Thom” on queer-eye.
OMG…
White people love spending outrageous amounts of money on their pets!
There are the clothes, lil’ shoes, pet beds, automatic self cleaning litter boxes and I just saw the worst in the back of a magazine (Macleans)… $150 for a plastic tray with fake grass on it. Yes, as disgusting as it sounds, you guessed it an “Indoor Dog Restroom”!
Future topics:
-Polaroid cameras (the older the better, because the film is even MORE expensive and hard to find)
-Music festivals (such as Coachella, Bonnaroo, Sasquatch) where you camp out in uncomfortably hot weather so that you can wait in line for hours under the sun, then crowd together with thousands of other white people to see bands like the Shins or M.I.A. and later talk about how it was an amazing experience even though you were so unbelievably sweaty/sunburned/high. It was so worth it. Accompanied by lots of weed (required) and/or hallucinogenic drugs (optional).
-Le Creuset kitchenware. Expensive and authentic. Each piece is cast from a unique sand mold that is destroyed after one use, so every frying pan is different! And they come in lots of colors!
-Big, thick-rimmed eyeglasses. Previously reserved for librarians and grandpas; now worn with ironic “so uncool, it’s cool!” attitude by white people in the know. Bonus points if you don’t actually need glasses to correct your vision. Example: http://s3assets.nextnewnetworks.com/2503.jpg
This blog is so brilliant. The “whitest” thing in the world is to try to escape whiteness. Therefore, the more slavishly a white person tries to attach himself to somebody else’s authenticity, with radical politics or snooty elitist cultural sensibilities, the more he just lives out his own whiteness.
You could write an anthropology dissertation about the comments here as well (something a white person may want to do some day). It’s fascinating that so many people consider the simple adjective “white” to be pejorative, and feel the need to make excuses for themselves. If you’re white, it’s OK! It’s never going to change, so you may as well quit trying to escape it!
I’m white and I like getting stoned, snowboarding, drinking wine, and hanging out at dinner parties eating Indian curries. Why not? It’s fun! I spent a year in Spain in college partying and getting laid. It’s OK to me that those are “white” things — and they certainly are — because they kicked ass and I had a great time.
People get defensive here because when most white people talk about “white people,” they really mean “other white people.” Like Americans who always say, “Americans are so stupid.” They don’t mean themselves: by calling others stupid, they get to fantasize that they are somehow different and able to transcend their origins — which is surely the most American thing there is! One of the most “American” or “white” things there is is to sit around scorning and feeling superior to NASCAR, hunters, and white people!
I crashed a dinner party near Seattle once. They weren’t serving salmon, so I left and pooped in the yard.
It’s fascinating that so many people consider the simple adjective “white” to be pejorative….
That’s jewsmedia conditioning. I love the office supply commercials where the “white” guy is the doofus and the black guy is the “boss”. The exact opposite of reality.
Gray’s Anatomy? Top 2 surgeons are black? In what alternate universe?
Gays (prone to depression and loneliness and STDs) telling heteros “how to live”?
Only on the jewtube.
@ 233 Pornoy’s Complain (and this is one of my favorite Phillip Roth novels) Anyway, you’re that guy who messes up the class photo by wearing dirty jeans and grubby sneakers while everyone else is dressed nicely, right? Or the guy who farts in the buffet line. In other words, you’re the fool pissing on everyone’s parade. This is a fun site; why are you ruining it. Also, there are plenty of Black guys as bosses, you know. And I know for a fact that the are hospitals with more than one top Black surgeons in the staff. Are you kidding me with your bigoted and racist thinking? What “alternate universe are you from? Please do everyone a favor and go back there.
Thursday’s entry is March Madness, right?
That’s white for ya.
Portnoy,
Please don’t use my comment as a platform for your paranoid racism. The only point I was making is that it’s silly that white people try to escape their own whiteness. Not that there’s anything good or better about whiteness; it just is what it is.
Caring about “authenticity” = inauthenticity. The only way to be truly authentic is to not care about authenticity. People who worry about authenticity (trendy white people) are fucking suck to be around.
You, however, are just a racist prick that needs to go back to the 19th century where you belong.
#231 Peter
you are a white dude that gets it. thanks.
Dinner parties are fabulous!
Lauren – Love the thick glasses idea!
Other ideas …
Playing Tennis
Visiting Amish Country
Scrapbooking
Colon Cleansing
Lasik
Retirement Planning
I meant. That’s white folks for ya
re:Lauren 230
Future topics:
-Polaroid cameras (the older the better, because the film is even MORE expensive and hard to find)
This is not the first time I’ve seen this mentioned here. (I’m gettin’ skooled as-it-were (see I’m using stuff like ‘as it were'(well, actually not LIKE ‘As it were’ but actually as it were)))
Anyway… lo & behold I stumble onto a YouTube of Patti Smith showing her collection of B & W Polaroids of the Blumsbury Bunch & the kicker is the thing is so old it’s a Land with a pinhole in the bellows that leaves a silver haze on the shot. So it’s not just the expensive film all the time.
I know I said what the kicker was already but the REAL kicker is…. the photos are amazing!
Which goes to show true talent trumps all attempts to trivialize or turn into ‘camp’ popular bandwagon trends just because the groundlings embrace it while the wheels come off.
The Expert Level White Person calls the tune — we just dance…
“If a white person says they have eaten the dish before, it is best to respond by saying “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.” ”
Yep. ::sigh:: yeeeep.
hahahah!!!
I just went to one!
Catch phrase is the best game though – very entertaining!
This is hilarious..
Portnoy @ 228– You’re doing it again! First you insult Anglo-Saxons by using the Mexican pejorative “Anglo”. Now you insult Christians by using the exclusionary “gentile”. I think it’s Stockholm Syndrome– you’re starting to identify with the thugs-of-color who gang-raped you in penitentiary.
Go back and read Theodore Roosevelt, Lothrop Stoddard, Carleton Putnam and Jared Taylor, and learn to make your points with literate English and considerate manners. Rather than use the tone of the snot-nose nyah-nyah junior-high-school-punk– excuse me, in your generation, it’s “middle school”, isn’t it?
Oh, yes… this is a **humor** site. Get a sense of.
very true. although i would say it was games like taboo before the Wii was invented. 😉 hand in hand with dinner parties is: white people like dishwashers. seriously. i’m asian, and my family never used a dishwasher. my extended family use dishwashers as drying racks. then i went to college and had a white roommate and white boyfriend, and they thought i was so backwards to hand-wash everything! dishwashers are definitely more of a white thing.
There’s no need or call for a guest to bring wine or dessert to a dinner party. If you, as a guest, bring something like that, a polite host will graciously accept what you brought as a gift to be enjoyed later. After all, a good host will have everything organized and planned; that wine or dessert you brought may be all wrong for the rest of the dinner.
That so many people find this funny is evidence that merely being semi-intelligent and witty puts you above 99% of the population.
This site is hysterical and I’m black. I read it every day. I went to very white schools so trust me, I get it. “they don’t even sell it to white people IT’S THAT INTENSE” CLASSIC!! (LOL!). FYI, black people have dinner parties too, they are just called “watching the game” (POT LUCK!) and “barbequing”
I dont know if i can agree with this one. I know a lot of white people who hate dinner parties.
http://reverendtiki.wordpress.com/2008/03/19/pen-vs-pencil-which-should-you-write-with/
reverendtiki.wordpress.com
As a Mexican living in the whitest part of the Pacific Northwest I can tell you that everything you have here is the absolute truth.
This blog should be kept for posterity. It’s an excellent depiction of contemporary white people “culture” (if you can call it that).
Damn fine website you guys got goin here, need more of this kind of stuff,keep adding to the list! So many things the white race have to be proud of!
White power!
I was gonna suggest Game Night as its own entry, but I love this one anyway!
genius!
and what’s the deal with corn nuts? Is it corn or is it nuts.
white people suck
some white girl said:
“Sorry that happened to her. But I really think you are reaching saying all white women are jealous of asian women. I for one like my defined features and wide eyes.
I’m sure your wife has features she likes unique to her race.
Some women are convinced all men have secret asian schoolgirl fetishes and maybe those women were part of that group. I know, however, that it seems a majority of the sad sack, unsuccessful white man with serious dominance issues seems to only like asian women. And that’s great…for them…”
^^^ that was a really white response. i can smell your whiteness through the computer screen.
____
And I can smell your underwear.
this website is bias and stupid if you’re from the south. none of these stereotypes apply. it would be more accurate if it were “things that people from the east coast, west coast and mid west like”. i have a jamaican/new york friend who probably like 90 percent of this stuff. also, ithink some other races would be offended that they do not like graduate school. are you implying that only white people go to college and get their masters. i never heard of half this stuff until i moved to LA. anyway, keep pushing the stereotypes and people will keep believing it. i know it’s just for fun but it does bother me a little to think that people will see you as a stereotype. oh well, if it’s on a website or on the news itmust be true, right? sheep.
Here is another thing that white people like. Abortions
From a recent dinner party I went to I noticed that many of my fellow whites, in fact most of them really REALLY enjoyed 1) polite laughter 2)silent auctions.
p.s.
” things upper middle class and above like” should also be added to the title. people down at the bottom don’t even know what half this stuff is. don’t think for a second all white people have money. i come from mississippi, the poorest state in the nation, and you should understand that poverty knows no color.
peace.
I am a white boy and I no not like dinner parties at all. Nice try. I guess this should be titled “stuff some white people like.”
#257 “this website is bias and stupid if you’re from the south. none of these stereotypes apply. it would be more accurate if it were “things that people from the east coast, west coast and mid west like”. ‘
So the “stereotypes” apply to the east coast, etc?. Fucking hilarious.
The generalizations, stereotypes and general know-it-allness that appear in the comments are what make this blog worth reading.
lololol!! this blog is so totally awesome. ahahaha dinner parties… so true…
sorry, i stereotyped the east coast and west coast. my bad. i apologize. sincerely
STOP MAKING FUN OF ME
LOL!! If what I said wasn’t true, who would even bother commenting on it? That’s an accurate commentary on the 21st Century media, sorry if you can’t see the humor in the term. I know plenty of White people who think the term ‘jewtube’ is hilarious, and original to boot! Come om.
Peter #231: Like Americans who always say, “Americans are so stupid.” They don’t mean themselves: by calling others stupid, they get to fantasize that they are somehow different and able to transcend their origins.
Yes again. Good point. This is typical dinner party conversation.
Every liberal White thinks we have systemic problems caused by “Whites”, but yet they are never personally a cause of it!
[…] a fun dinner party, YAY dinner parties! But today the blog, Stuff White People Like, had a post on dinner parties. Because you know, in addition to Kitchen Aid mixers…supposedly the people of the lighter […]
I’m socially white
and these things do apply if you live in a major metropolitan Southern city – like Atlanta, for instance!
Alaska and Hawaii (pardon me, “Hawai’i”) will be celebrating their quinquagenaries of statehood in 2009. Up-to-date dinner parties next year can artfully mix the two.
But how? Roast pig on sourdough? Caribou sausage in poi, washed down with a mai tai?
Many people have commented on what to bring. If one knows a hostess well, one can always ask the hostess what she would like you to bring. If she says ‘nothing’ or something similar, bring flowers. If she mentions something specific, get exactly what she specifies.
At dinner parties, it’s important that one talk with one’s dinner companions. Initially the hostess and the host will begin speaking to the person on their right — and you should do the same. After a time that may vary, the hostess or the host will conclude that conversation and turn to the person on his left, at which signal you should finish your conversation with the person to your right and talk with the person to your left — this is known as the table turning. It may occur several times in the course of an evening, and even be interrupted by periods of more general, and cross-table conversation, but you must be alert to it and take your proper part when called to.
An important detail of the dinner party, often overlooked by those who were not trained by their mothers in these matters, is the “thank you note” — ideally written within 24 hours, in long hand. Alternatively, if you know the host and hostess well, you might telephone your thanks, but a note of hand is what’s correct. Guests invited for the first time who do not send a note should not be surprised if they are not invited in the future (‘cut’).
to the fogged-in inbred Yid @234
And I know for a fact that the are hospitals with more than one top Black surgeons in the staff.
Now, who is kidding? How did they get there? Fair and square, or so the “website” merely shows diversity? Are you really that obtuse?
Records show West’s doctor faced malpractice suits, DUI arrests
LOS ANGELES (AP) — The plastic surgeon (Jan Adams) who reportedly operated on Kanye West’s mother before she died had two malpractice suits filed against him that ended in payouts and was arrested twice for driving under the influence, according to medical board records.
So much for going with the bro’. Even Kanye must be kicking himself.
Goodtimes!
Check out this white site…..
http://iamahump.blogspot.com/
Portnoy, it’s time for you to grow up and act white.
This entry is so true – especially of older white people.
Stuff white people like: Secretly using the N word.
http://www.wordgnome.com/2008/03/speciesism.html
I like the part about “taking a mental note” about the preparation of the food. So true. Then they say, “Yes. I’ll have to remember that” while they are acting all interested and then promptly forget about it. White people love to talk about food, which ruins the enjoyment of it really. Food inspires energy and conversation in other cultures. Here we have such, excuse me, a white washed culture that anytime something different is cooked it’s like some old artifact has been brought in, enshrouded in mystery.
I think Portnoy is really a sheygets.
this one is the best. i blame all of these dinner parties on white women and gays.
I like dinner parties. And I’m not really white.
OMG! I work so hard on my music lists for my parties! There has to be a variety: a little fun, a little mellow, a little classic, a little soul, a little edgy but not offensive. The music needs to be familiar and new.
I’m throwing a big party in October and I have been working on the music list for a few weeks already.
Oh and one more thing… the music has to be sexy!
This post is FANTASTIC.
Also, people…
OK, we know that the irate of you who keep coming here and screaming about how it’s racist, and “not really” about your brand of white people, or where you are from, and it should be called stuffpeoplewhowenttocollegelike or stuffhipsterslike or stuffpeoplewhoidon’tlikelike or whateverpeoplelikeblahblah…
The point of the humor is: he’s making fun of people who claim to like/enjoy things when they are actually doing or buying said things because they THINK THEY SHOULD i.e. he’s making fun of blindly following trends without thinking and shallowness. C’mon, it’s just not that difficult.
Memo to Clander: John Grisham recently appeared on “NOW with Bill Moyers” on PBS. Bill drooled all over this southern liberal charmer with that demented smile of his. In white households Grisham is back in and Michael Crichton, the apostate of global warming is out.
I love this site!!! I can’t believe you made it all the way to # 90 without mentioning air conditioning! White people LLLLLOOOOOVVVVEEE A/C! They will blast it in February in Milwaukee!
This blog is hilarious. A more descriptive name would be “Stuff Blue-State Yuppies Like,” but then it wouldn’t be as funny.
Whoa, you’ve totally underlined it. It’s like finals.
We used love to cram for finals, brag about how little sleep we got cramming and how we still managed to pull off a 3.5.
Now it’s dinner parties. Since nice folks don’t brag, now we have to SHOW our work. If you’re really good, it will look simple, effortless. It IS NOT.
In addition to wine and desserts, guests also like to bring microbrews or imported beer brewed by Belgian trappist (what the hell is a trappist anyway?) monks.
Btw, the japanese brew Asahi and pickled ginger (the kind you get with sushi) are an excellent pairing. I didn’t even need a nice Asian friend to point it out, it was like independent study.
I would never put it that way but lets face it we’re all about pretentious food “pairings” but I personally like to pretend that they just fell in together accidentally.
ON ANOTHER TOPIC: Why are people taking this lighthearted blog and getting all bent out of shape? I think free speech requires that you, the listener (or reader) be gracious enough to allow others their voices without getting too damn touchy, otherwise where’s the freedom?
No doubt someone will reply with some grouchy post about how I’ve dissed Belgian monks. Tant pis!
I have to admit, that I wanted to be reactionary, because I wasn’t sure if said blogger was just feeding the “chaff of public contention about race” and adding fodder to the fire, from the standpoint of a ‘malcontented precocious aesthetically superior college student’…but this last post has convinced me that said blogger is genuinely satirical and a fun person…
I remember my lover, who’s gone on to Shangrila…diner parties were the first order of business when we got our first place together…our preferred choice of guests were an assortment of (would be) underground artists and poets…acquaintances from the popular venues we frequented, over the years the numbers and peoples changed and the gatherings got larger, in spite of not having enough room for everyone…indeed, people would bring differing cultural dishes to the party (and gifts sometimes)…I was always at hand to facilitate in and out of the kitchen…our mutual host always kept the continuity of the conversations rolling along…as well as the ever evolving array of Jazz music in the background. sweet…thankx’
Pictionary
one final thought…though the “party” goes back much farther throughout extemporaneous datums of peoples and places of all times…I think the most recent invention has stemmed from a mid-twentieth century activity of popularly cosmopolitan society in urban settings…in a loft of artist and poets and thinkers who got together over martinis and talked art and/or Freud together and would have hors’de’ovuers or fondue…
I had a friend who would hold a dinner part every week with his new wife and friends. My wife and I were always invited because we were very close. Early on during one of the first dinners I found a large tomato worm in my salad. I spent the better part of 5 minutes trying to get my wife’s attention so I could let her know. she was too busy talking to everyone.
When my friend noticed I had not touched my salad, he asked if he could have it. Not wanting to seem rude, I said sure.
HAHAHAHAH how true
Portnoy: On a previous post of this blog it was proven, conclusively, that you are in fact a NON-white, and now with your “gentile” remark you’ve also verified your status as a religious hijacker, posing as a christian.
You know, if you’re searching for kindred souls to help you shoulder your burden you’re going to have to look elsewhere, or be prepared to be nothing but the subject of derision on what ostensibly is a blog dedicated to satire and good-natured fun.
The best comedy has always come when people look at themselves and their idiosyncrasies, and acknowledge the behavioral absurdities that shape them.
There are no converts to your skewed mindset to be found here; move on.
You’ve branded yourself as an utter asshole and curmudgeon.
This is a great day for comments. I love the thing about the Asian women who’s sure that all white girls are jealous of her. I think that “OC trophy wife” is a real champ for caring so deeply about her sexy dinner party music.
But the highlight has to be Win Your Weight’s use of the word “quinquagenaries”. I used to teach this language, and I had to look that one up.
Also, having read a comment referencing it here, I now really want to know what whiteness “smells” like. Lysol?
I love you people.
very funny! Extra points if you tell your guests how easy it was and that you actually enjoy (even prefer) hosting. Then they really hate you!
Where we tonight shall camp?….The top blogs of the day. the newest report , see and reply me some comments. Thanks.
One of my first post-college dinner parties–this was pre Whole Foods–featured a chicken casserole. After we’d eaten, the proud wife told us that the casserole was very easy to prepare: Place chicken parts in Le Creuset roaster (another yup must-have) and douse with Coca-Cola.
Yep. My husband and I farted all night.
http://claudiassurfcity.blogspot.com
Even I had to show ID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow a dinner party! sounds great to me hope to see all you cracker ass crackers there – honky boy
http://vipersofeden.wordpress.com/
“One copy of US Weekly, a McDonalds wrapper, a book by John Grisham, a Third Eye Blind CD, or an Old School DVD can undo months and maybe even years of work.” though you should know that Old School is “ironically” enjoyed by some white people.
Pictionary and Balderdash are also acceptable, as is charades when feeling especially ambitious. or rustic.
Thank you, Anne (#294) for the kind comments. I just think “quinquagenary” sounds so much, I don’t know… whiter, perhaps… than “semicentennial”.
There’s a whole list here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anniversary
So funny, so true. I laughed at the part about Cranium!
Here’s the equivalent of a National Geographic article on white people dinner parties:
http://scottsfoodblog.com/2008/01/02/ring-in-the-new-year/
Check out my new blog:
Stuff Queer People Like
http://stuffqueerpeoplelike.wordpress.com
Lol at Cranium! & Wii Bowling. Funny stuff. What about BBQ’s?
—
http://thebrokenforum.wordpress.com/
white people loved to be “stressed out.” They are also in a perpetual state of “learning the guitar.”
Yo Ho! You nailed these urban sophisticate lemmings with your lists.
When I lived on the Continent (how boooshwaaa) the Euro Metro class (aka every native born white) couldn’t turn their noses up fast enough to indicate their disapproval and disdain should they happen to see someone with a white child.
But…and this is the bizarre part…should these same people glance a child of colour or a dog they’d be all over the poor soul slobbering baby talk and adulation…you’d think they themselves had just given birth to the Idol.
Bizarre. Bizarre. Bizarre.
The important thing to remember about white people is that they are all exactly the same. They all look alike too.
When will you address the recreational use of perscription drugs? And when you do, dont forget to reference a certain scene from the latest Wes Anderson movie.
I thought everyone was inviting people over to eat. It’s only us white folks?
Wow, nice job. Please keep writing. Please mention the large SUV parked next to the hybrid in the driveway,eventually.
I live in Hicksville Glendale AZ and we through Barbeques. some however are meant to outshine the neighbor down the street or the brother or sister. If you have a pool it is all about the outside decor. as for me as long as the burgers are tastey, the kids are happily swimming and not drowning and the air conditioning is working in the house all is well!
brilliant, and so true . . . one of the best thus far.
@Adam/43: you’re spot on. i love my holga (and i’m proud to say i got it well before it was offered at urban outfitters).
you should add “Orgasm” to the list
.. im white, and i like that..
New Blog:
Stuff Queer People Like
http://stuffqueerpeoplelike.wordpress.com
I attended my first dinner party just out of college. Our young hostess had followed her new soy sauce chicken recipe to the letter. After placing the cut-up chicken parts in an 9″ X 13″ baking dish, the recipe called for “covering the chicken in soy sauce.” After one bottle failed to submerge the chicken parts, she added a second bottle before baking. You get the picture. I think we went out for Kentucky Fried.
#310 John (sounds like a Bible verse!): “Please mention the large SUV parked next to the hybrid in the driveway,eventually.”
Not “eventually”. Now:
http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/0318/p20s01-lihc.html?page=1
That article could be “White People in the News II”
Also, it is not suggested to blaze a joint in the middle of one of these parties. Even though every white person present would fail a drug test.
#314
Please refer to comment #76
Check this out! It’s teh awesomest blog evaahh-
http://www.I have no creativity so I pimp my own blog here.com
(snark)
extra points for the music being classic jazz on vinyl. be sure to display your miles and monk split 12″ in full-form. you will be admired.
Does this blog remind anyone else of the 80s “Preppy Handbook”? The book was meant as a satire, but people used it as a how-to guide to achieve a certain life-style. I’m fearful that this blog is going to be used the same way. I heard the term “hipster scourge” today….
When you aren’t of the proper class to have a “dinner party” you just invite lots of people to dinner. It is incumbent upon you to say, at least once, “we just love to cook for an audience.” That way, you can still serve basic (but well made) food on your normal plates, but you’re automatically cool because you have conflated cooking with performance art. You don’t have to hide your tacky novels or make excuses for your music because being ‘working poor’ means that those things are marks of your authenticity. Also, you can feed the kids the same stuff – as long as you do it before the grown ups sit down to dinner. Don’t worry, you can put them in front of the TV to watch some “educational” video whilst the hipster wannabes dine. If your music collection is on your desk top computer, which is several years old, but with top-notch speakers, well then you’ve hit the trifecta.
To: Cato
I enjoy your comments immensely – I would buy a book by you over one by CL. This time you took the words out of my mouth with the importance of the thank you notes. That is one essential ingredient of dinner parties CL did not address! Unfortunately, our social circles are not the same as yours, so thank you notes hardly ever happen.
Your comments on the grad school entry were also interesting … yes, we googled you… Why do not you have a blog any more?
@283 OK, we know that the irate of you who keep coming here and screaming about how it’s racist…..
You have it totally backwards. It’s the non-whites, jews, and liberal whites here that scream “racist” at people that don’t agree with their peculiar viewpoint. It’s hilarious, the intolerance.
I think these types have stopped using the term “inbred” against anyone who disagrees with them, since it has been pointed out that the Jews are far more inbred than the American Scots-irish (aka Southern Whites).
Henry Kissinger is far more inbred than any “Nascar driver”. Come on already. Just take one look at the guy!!
I’m sure the community we live in invented dinner parties. My wife always brings an elaborate home made dessert (presented beautifully) that pisses off all the other wives because their husbands always remark that it’s so wonderful. She wins!
#321 “Does this blog remind anyone else of the 80s “Preppy Handbook”?
Yes. Totally. That book was written by a Jew. So goes the similarities with this very blog.
I’ve been saying that all along.
(Hey furious1. This has to be the first time we’ve agreed on something.)
By all means, get help for Portnoy but first get him off the streets before he blogs again.
What about American Idol, don’t white people notoriously like American Idol. I bet there have been a few Dinner Parties surrounded by the activity of watching the show and possibly following it up with a fabulous round of karaoke.
http://vipersoeden.wordpress.com
Bitch!
GSW in tha house!!!
http://www.myspace.com/bergondy
Portnoy hasn’t been himself since he learned Eva Braun was a beard…
white people are neurotic.
http://www.the4amrewrite.wordpress.com
@330 ha ha….never anything intelligent to say……
I’m a vegetarian, I love children, I don’t drink, and I love animals. Who am I?
denier, denier, denier…….
White people like….
…. well this blog I guess.
It’s tough to take this shit seriously though, I know black people that like half this shit. I mean to those that read and get upset, it’s obviously a joke. In order for anyone to not like at least a dozen of these things they’d have to live in a cave!
I just found out that the guy who writes this is black.
Me=stunned.
I have a Braun blender!!! The ultimate dinner party blender drink is:
Midori Collins (blended)
It’s neon under “black light”!!!
Hilarious…
Crazy white people and their healthy food.
Black people should take note of how white people do it.
No marijuana smoking, no gang members on the front porch, no police showing up to stop fat Tracy and Nikisha from fighting over Little Reggie who’s in jail anyway.
Bonus white points if you can make something ethnic like sushi using obsure ingredients that you learned about while teaching English in Japan.
Another brilliant post! This sounds like my roommate – the king of dinner parties. Naturally, he leaves out all his “Art Forum” magazines, so everyone will be impressed. However, he guests don’t realize that he picked up free copies in the recycling area of our apartment mail room.
Regarding potluck vs. dinner party: potluck is a variant of the “standard” dinner party, though each type may borrow aspects from the other.
[Insert Venn diagram here.]
Particularly, potlucks don’t require on-site cookery to be successful, which gives potluck access to outdoor and workplace venues not accessible to dinner parties.
Regarding ‘white’ vs. ‘yuppie’ vs. whatever-the-hell-else: The confusion between culture and race provides the backdrop that makes the entries funnier. Duh.
This totally reminds me the time is nigh for a Catfish Incident, and I’ll have to invite some ‘white people’ this time. I’d like to see what they do when faced with sweet tea, mason jars, and plastic chairs.
vegetarians are the scum of the earth
Take a white person to an ethnic dinner party, hosted by friends from Singapore, complete with raw meats and a communal boiling pot in the centre of the table and watch them go bananas! (don’t ask me how I know, I just do). Also, white people like telling other white people about websites they think are cool/funny….and sending sentimental morality emails that have been forwarded through 50,000 other white people.
Slightly off-topic but…I was at a restaurant last night and I couldn’t help thinking that that was a place the white people SWPL parodies would absolutely love. Among other things, the menu featured Seitan Fajita, Tempeh Jerk, Tofu Tenders etc. It’s a vegetarian restauarant where most recipes on the menu had vegan or wheat-free indicated next to them. And when I order coffee, I was asked if I wanted it with milk or soy. While you are there, you can also browse their eclectic collection of books ranging from French literature to Modern Architecture, and play board games. Perfect place to enjoy a lazy meal with your white buddies.
Drinking the Kool-Aid
When reading this post, I recalled the part in “High Fidelity” where John Cusack went to the dinner party at Catherine Zeta-Jones’ place, and how she epitomized the spirit of the White Person.
And then I realized that, barring “Con Air,” John Cusack himself is deserving of a place on this list.
you are a genius.
thank u for this handbook 🙂
Classic! I got here through a link at the Houston Chronicle. Very funny, indeed!
After recently moving into a renovated circa 1940s bungalow, my white husband and I (also a white person) held a dinner party for four other couples. I had the genius idea of making homemade flatbread pizzas with exotic ingredients. My husband and I got into a tense, quiet fight as guests started arriving and the pressure mounted more and more; the pizzas were an insane amount of work; we had no good place to serve the wine and not enough wine glasses; and to our sheer horror, we discovered that we had accidentally purchased SCREW-TOP wine, which, as you know, is a big white-person faux pas. Even several hilarious rounds of Cranium after dinner couldn’t calm me down.
this is so like something out of Pinter with peach-flavored hints of J Alfred… or Joyce’s ‘Dead’ ….
I thoroughly enjoy reading these from my cubicle when I’m supposed to be working. I think they are observant, sarcastic, and pretty humorous. I am 100% sure that “clander” is a bitter, white female with a liberal arts Master’s degree. Will someone please confirm?
How is this site not hilarious? Why the outrage?
I’m white and it doesn’t bother me in the least bit.
Some people take themselves way too seriously.
RHM
http://www.thecandidacy.com
lol
Where did you find the tools for this picture? That’s classic!
Black people like:
1. Jail
2. bad american cars
3. bad movies
4. crack
5. 40 oz of bad beer
6. poverty
7. theft
8. doing anything but work
9. P. Diddy
10. Oprah!!
RE:351 RHM
Your argument of “It doesn’t bother me, so it’s okay” is a miserable failure. Just because you find something to be funny and okay doesn’t mean other people inside (or outside) of your demographic will also find it funny. Your opinion on the matter as a “white person” does not somehow make it more valid.
I’m white and this site doesn’t bother me (bores me, but that is a bit different). But that doesn’t mean that I don’t understand why this site can be seen as offensive to others.
Long as I gets me some ribs.
How about horns that do something other than honk?
http://www.wolohornsusa.com
This seems more like a successful vs. poor subject. If you are poor you cant have a dinner party or eat sushi. So what? Blacks and white trash share the same dislike of wealthy whites.
I will do all peoples, if they are hot.
Dinner parties are for metro queers. Sure they were nice for our grandparents and it was amusing watching our parents try to place house like the better generation before them, but now white people go to restaurants. Nowadays dinner parties are for rich cunts and prissy women, even gays have better taste than to bore their friends w/ their shitty cooking.
“SCREW-TOP” bottles are fine, the quality of the wine is not entirley dependant on whether a cork is used. The true faux pas is that you are not aware of this. Perhaps you are not white at all, but merely a poser intent on furthering myths regarding whitey. In any event, you are certainly not white enough to host a dinner party. Might I suggest, that you stick to bar-b-ques and nights out at the Olive Garden.
Recently I discovered a link to SWPL. I think it’s refreshingly funny but, as with anything on the WWW, there are some inaccuracies and exaggerations. However, those things are essential to good humor.
The most glaring inaccuracy, however, is the assumption that the majority of “white people” are being lampooned and described in these posts. Instead, many are primarily left wing liberals (Hating Corporations, Having Gay Friends, Soccer, Multi-lingual Children [I am multi-lingual myself], Musical Comedy, etc…). You may want to do a post on Global Warming. Again, conservatives and other logical rational thinkers really aren’t buying that hoax but it is funny to see how ridiculous the “believers” aka cult members behave. Prius driving pretenders.
Anyway, here comes my contribution… Our first “dinner parties” were when I was in graduate school at an Ivy League University. The first one that we attended was a birthday party for the son of the Punjabi Post Doctoral student. We were the only (read token) white people there and we sat on the floor amongst other professionals (Doctors, Architects, etc…) and ate with our fingers.
The first dinner party that we had consisted of 2 guests, our downstairs neighbors, an African American and his Portuguese wife. I think we ate Chicken. Later dinner parties included a clam and lobster bake on the beach for my hockey team and fondue parties with our German Post Doc friends. Wasn’t fondue a hoot?
And don’t forget the Superbowl of all dinner parties (white and otherwise), the obligatory Superbowl Party!
You guys are a bunch of jerks. This WWW is so funny, I will probably get fired. I want to forward this to my friends, so we can all be unemployed together, but I worry that somehow I am missing that it is racist and wrong and not at all funny. Okay, I know it is just funny, but I don’t want to open myself to being called a racist, particularly behind my back.
Can I send this link and the Asian WWW to my Asian girlfriend, or will she think it is just a stupid waste of time and that I should be working or researching stocks? Man, she is so hot.
I am playing it safe by not telling anyone, unless someone at a dinner party brings it up and then I can butt in and declare how hip I am to it as well. BTW – my favorite T-shirt that I only wear on special occassions is a Los Angeles Kings T-shirt with their original logo on the front the ’67 on the back representing their first year in the NHL.
HAHA! Whoa, this site is AMAZING! Congrats on making the Drudge Report.
What controversy!?
Keep ’em coming. Now saved to my favorites. 🙂
[img]http://data.tumblr.com/fSymsOGXO6ni3es6xoopSPaC_500.jpg[/img]
white people love gigantic government… my favorite is the “welfare cycle of violence”… here… they pay up front for unending welfare programs which produce criminals.
they then are victimized, then they pay for police, lawyers, jail deputies and prisons.
then the cycle starts anew.
My personal “Stuff White People Like” List:
Yoga
Happy Hour
Salvation Army
Softball Leagues
Fantasy Football
Jimmy Buffet
Flip Flops
Dividing the bill to the penny
Cinco De Mayo
Tailgating
Meatloaf
Racquetball
Oprah
Ya got me, I like flip flops, well Teva’s anyway.
Black people like ignorance and crack.
Who cares what black people think? We did not bring them here to “think.”
Sounds like sour grapes.
Before I read this I thought I was white. After 41 years of being what I thought was white I now realize that I have never been.
Reading through these posts it seems they are painting a picture of self absorded shallow idiots.
Please don’t lump us all into this self loathing catagory
Tell me something. WTF is wrong with having a dinner party ?
To socialize with other like individuals, share some food, get away from the screaming brats, drink some wine ?
Should we welcome other people from the hood, bring our weapons, eat fatback, argue, get in fistfights, call the cops ?
This blog just got unfunny. Ha ha .You are making fun of people that pay the most taxes. Next.
Why is it so important to be something – white, black, brown – instead of being someone?
Human.
So true!
your blog sucks
To #350 Murdoc:
The writer is male. I landed here from this link on NPR a couple of weeks ago and have been reading SWPL everyday since then.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/talk/2008/02/stuff_white_people_like_1.html
great blog. keep it up. i don’t know what the controversy is. makes me laugh about myself.
sincerely,
suburban 40ish white guy.
Do white people like, “Stuff White people like”?
Yeah, I think at least 376 liked this post so far! Great thinking!!
http://ThunkDifferent.com
I’m beginning to doubt my whiteness. I hate dinner parties, coffee, St. Patrick’s Day (as a whole, I am not Irish so WTF does it mean to me?), I have no gay friends, I have no black friends, I hate “The Wire” and I don’t even like blogs (especially ones about “Stuff White people like”, but I do like expensive sandwiches and Asian women. Damn, am I not white enough?
Theres like one girl in that picture. Typical hipster sausage party.
I never have dinner parties … it means I have to clean. No thanks!
I found you cuz I read the article in today’s Toronto Star: http://www.thestar.com/article/348195
Can you type a post about White bitches and their fixation with anal bleaching? It is bad enough they white all over, but they got to go coating they dookie-chutes too? Don’t nobody care if women got some strain-stains. It gives em character.
Hey! I happen to enjoy Third Eye Blind! 😛
Did I miss someone defending Old School? That was a fuching funny movie.
You made it onto Drudge Report, congrats!
I love this site and I check it every day for my daily laugh.
Congratulations a posting on drudgereport… not too shabby
29… and still trying to find yourself…
You were taught by your teachers and professors to
— hate being white
— feel guilty about being white
Emancipation Alert
It’s ok to be white. It’s ok if you have things others don’t.
Either you or your parents worked hard for what you have.
Do you know that most white Americans are NOT descendents of slave traders…. most Blacks are NOT descendents of slaves?
So, embrace being whatever race you are and make the most of it.
41 year old white guy. Never had a dinner party and never wanted to have one. I have also turned down invites to such parties.
We black people have dinner parties too… usually involving a BBQ grill though… or pasta… weird combo.
Being an ex-chef i was always expected to have these.
I learned to hate them.
btw when are you going to do one on Wany Brady?
ALL WHITE PEOPLE LOVE HIM!!
dinner parties were my first introduction to the possibility of the orgy or three way. seems like the younger crowds are getting that experience in college these days, but back in the 90’s I didn’t see that happening anywhere at my school.
a couple bottles of wine, good food, and nice furniture seem to make white women more susceptible to kissing one another, etc.
I highly recommend not limiting the party to couples only, need to have a few single women there in case one decides to join you and your girlfriend later………
those were good times ………….
White people love “picking up the tab” when out with friends.
Reading this blog is completely optional. People who find it offensive, stereotypical, or racist, can simply not read it. [/rant]
I am a Black woman (yes “we” like it with a capital “b”) born and raised in the South and I identify with almost all of the topics covered.
Taboo and Scategories are my favorite dinner party games. They’re great fun!
You must mean, “Stuff White Nerds and Geeks Like”.
YOU MADE DRUDGE
Probably have to shut it down now.
Fun while it lasted!!
Eh, I wouldn’t call the “dinner party” a stressful affair. They tend to be enjoyable, although I personally never had a party where it was just “couples”. Did a wine tasting party once, which went over well. Except most of my white friends don’t know Pinot Noir from Mad Dog 20/20. Ah, well.
I have to admit, I make special mixed cds of bands I’m sure others have not heard of whenever my wife and I have a dinner party.
For the haters: Relax. Off course the subjects included on this blog are more specificly geared towards wealthier and hipper amongst the white population. It’s funnier. Especially for those included in that demographic. As I read in another comment on this site, none of these things that white people supposedly like are bad.
To the people posting what black people like:
Why Crack? Does that mean White people like Herion. Wow, that’s a lot better. Saying that someone likes ignorance or poverty is just dumb. If you are going say what Black people like at least be funny and witty about it, like this site is. Stuff educated black people like almost achieves that, but I have to say by not including the whole race they are belittling others within the community and it’s not as funny for that reason. Why can’t an uneducated black person swear by Common (early Common that is) or like Tyler Perry movies.
Admittedly, stereotyping is bad, but at some point it is funny and every great comedian and writer uses it. What’s really the difference betweeen an archtype and stereotype other thant the stigma. If a person and a society is educated enough to know that people are people and that not everyone fits within stereotype then we should be able to make fun of it as well.
Other than the humor the best thing about this site is the discusions it brings up.
ps please don’t correct my grammer or spelling. I don’t care. I didn’t proof read. This isn’t a college course or a scholary paper. If you get the idea then I’m happy. It’s just my opinion on one of billion web sites.
Dude you should have included the black version of this which is gathering on the porch drinkin’ colt 45 and other malt liquors.
First time here – yes – because of Drudge. Nice. Kinda reminds me of the Preppy handbook by Lisa Birnbach. Anyone? Anyone?
If you like this blog, then you are sure to enjoy:
Stuff Queer People Like
http://stuffqueerpeoplelike.wordpress.com
Paul accurately states: ” No marijuana smoking, no gang members on the front porch, no police showing up to stop fat Tracy and Nikisha from fighting over Little Reggie who’s in jail anyway”.
You saw that that on the First 48 Hours right ? But wasn’t that Lakisha beating on Latoya who slept with Rondell who is now outta jail ?
I believe it was Sgt. Caroline Mason who answered the call, found out she went to school with one of the perps, had a chuckle and brought Dewayne Cheeseburger in for questioning. After only 15 minutes, he confessed to the crime, case closed ,off to Church’s for some fried chicken.
I think white people dinner parties are fun and nobody gets shot.
White people like this site, because white people like to interfere with anything that happens that has anything to do with them. They infest it and attempt to change it with their witty insight!
We don’t have dinner parties or barbeques. We have a “cook-out”.
You “cook-out in the back” meaning backyard — or if you are really getting fancy, you “cook-out at the lake”. Although, we may in fact prepare some kind of barbequed food. But, you would never, never serve wine — not even if it came in a box. It is generally a beer only affair. Except for the hard liquor that is either in the garage, or in the trunk of the car.
Hmmm, that looks much trashier in writing than it seems while it is happening 🙂
401: So true
White people love the Source awards… the ones that make it out alive.
The problem with you’re line of thinking, Joey (#397) is this:
The hangin’ on de porch – 40 oz drinking – LaTeesha LaKeesha – Raykwon -BabyMommaDrama – image represents lower class Black culture.
This Blog represents “Hipster” or Upper Middle Class White culture. So ….I ask….
Incongruous much?
Stupid dirty White man.
White people would never use the word ‘holler’. Of course anyone that does should be shot on sight.
I find that unusual wine accessories, (ie. special funnels or sculpuresque decanters) or utensils are automatic host status enhancers.
How could you forget mayonnaise?
I think I love you.
I like pizza.
I think I love you.
Sure a white person would use Holler. It is Ironic(#50). I have to say the over pronunciation is key.
The voices at #376 and #377 underscore the problematic yet decisive like/don’t like attitude that we subjectively employ to judge the quality of all entertainment and art. Just one word, Benjamin…CONSENSUS.
Remember when you were in the sixth grade and your teacher said, “Today, boys and girls, I’m going to give you a topic for Creative Writing. At the end of 20 minutes I’ll collect your papers and together we’ll decide which paper is the very best and that little boy or girl will win this Hershey bar with almonds. Today your topic will be, “Why White People Like Dinner Parties.”
(One hour later) “Well, boys and girls, we’ve read our papers out loud in class. The votes have been counted and it’s almost unanimous. Little Clander wins again! Oh yes Portnoy…there in the back..do you have a question?”
“No, you inbred Jewess, I ain’t got no question. I got a complaint. I demand a recount!”
I’m white, and I thoroughly believe in separation of dinner and parties.
It’s refreshing to see the leftists come on here and accuse you of racism, misogyny and probably every other crime white people can commit.
So at some point you’re going to have to do an entry like:
#101: Shouting down dissenters
LOL BEAUTIFUL! Once again, another entry. There should seriously be a show about this. Actually, there is. Curb Your Enthusiasm was basically about one guy’s inability to relate to the types of white people this blogger is talking about.
Dude, you HAVE to get this shit published. The last line of the 2nd to last paragraph had me spit my beer out (called off work for 1st day of March Madness woo hoo!). “You got the watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people.” LOL. That is epic.
My sister lives in LA, and I was at these white people dinner parties all during the holidays. Youcompletely nailed everything to a tee, but forgot to mention how people love being complimented at these parties. If you go on forever about how great the house and food is, you’ll immediately have earned their respect b/c you’ll have stroked their delicate little sensibilities.
Everybody is figuratively sucking eachother’s dicks at these things. “That is the most gorgeous sweater I’ve ever seen. It touches the very depth of my soul,” would be something you expect to hear for wearing a $20 shirt from JC Penny’s.
Give me an old fashioned, blue collar barbaque w/ a keg anyday. Dinner parties are for toolbags.
Re: #415
The best part is these pissed off leftists loved this blog in the beginning, b/c they think if they don’t laugh at white people jokes, they’ll be looked at as racist or too up tight. But once they realized the author of this blog was solely making fun of them, they got all huffy, mostly b/c they’re the only group of people in the country who think they’re above being a punchline; hence the term ELITESTS!!!
A bunch of Womyn’s Studies, English Lit, and Philosophy majors taking the time out to congregate together at dinner parties to talk about diversity, organic food, and european independent cinema. LOL shoot me now.
Burning Man is too countercultrual for this site to parody.
My wife and I (both white people) found a new way to spice up the dinner party. After the “square” folks have left early for the evening, break out a little weed and play Guitar Hero!
Awesome Dude!! You’re making “The Man” angry!!
I’m linking you to my “Favorites”!!
Rock On!!
Last dinner party I went to was in about 2005. There were name tags on the table. It was supposed to be a family gathering but there were 25 people there I didn’t know. There was a separate room for people who wanted to watch football. The women had on cocktail dresses, the men jeans and polos, Jeezus, what is up with that, nothing intimate or real going on here. Food was good though. How about the white thing where children are allowed at weddings.
Controversial…
ha, you are out of the loop, you’ve never heard of White People Slumber parties? OK, well, it starts with the obligatory Dinner Party (can be a BBQ if it’s warm, or connected to a sports event or political rally and food is on-the-cheap).. Ok so after the dinner party we often times pay pretend tribute to other cultures, like we might play some weird foreign board game “Dude this is just like chess, but Aboriginal!”, or whip out a hookah (no illegal drugs mind you!, just tobacco !and there will be protests , but soon all will indulge).. or perhaps drink some saki, during which there will be Deep Meaningful Pronouncements made about the state of the world and how we manage to get by in our own little ways.. a little more saki, more laughs, then the washing of dirty laundry, if only subtly . Someone might become afraid and invent an excuse to go home citing some special project at work they must do, or go to bed early in a pout, still others fall asleep on the sofa watching re-runs of Don Kirshner’s rock concert , but most curl up in the LL Bean sleepwear provided of course by moi- It’s awesome dude!
We used to say (at dinner parties in both areas) the difference between the Upper East Side and the Upper West Side (of Manhattan) was that the UES served “brie and Chablis” and the UWS served “quiche and Perrier” …
Our rule of thumb for a dinner party was 2-3 bottles of wine per guest — between the serious attention to the alcohol and the conversation, I can’t ever recall being to a dinner party where anyone played parlour games (other than bridge, if people were told in advance).
Wine selection for dinner parties is an art form as well. In fact, we’ve often created the guest list and the menu around the wines we wanted to serve — avoiding people we know will not like certain wines, and picking dishes that will be most enhancing to and enhanced by, the wines. You have to know your audience: you don’t serve plonk to experts or serious wines to rank amateurs.
Proper selection of music is also key – you have to tickle your guests’ taste with things that are new to them, without being so unfamiliar as to be jarring.
Is cato trying to be sarcastic or is he/she just the whitest person EVER?
What about Wii Tennis. That is MUCH more fun. And don’t forget the stress of making sure that all guests get to make their own Avatars!
195 JT, you’re completely missing the point. You really think that it was an arbitrary post about dogs? That really goes to show how white you are if you can’t even realize that the love for dogs is totally a white culture thing. And if you’re such a pro at writing, I’d love to see your blog and how much ad revenue it gets. By the way, I don’t think he gets ad revenue since this is a wordpress hosted site.
In light of March Madness, where’s the timely “Office Pools” post?
I work in catering and this is the most honest explaination of my job I have ever heard! “You ate a watered down version, they don’t even sell this to white people!”
This is great!
The only thing I dislike about this amazing site is the dozens of SHITTY imitators it has spawned. Stop posting your links! YOU SUCK!
PS I am not ashamed of my US Weekly addiction 🙂
This site is pretty funny, but it’s really Stuff White Yuppies Like.
Can’t see a blue collar type hosting a ‘dinner party’, unless it’s beer and pizza while watching a ballgame. And I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be soccer.
Everybody wins with this blog:
1. White people laugh at themselves and thus exhibit a self-referential, good-natured, easy-going nature.
2. Other white people validate their own lives by describing the ways they hate and intentionally go against this white culture/lifestyle.
3. The culture/lifestyle being lampooned is at worst one that is capable of being seen as snobbish. Basically white people are accused of liking art, nature, healthy food, having social lives, etc.
4. Non-whites can chime in and say, “Hey, I like art and music and graduate degrees as well”, or they can take the # 2 route and say “Frickin’ snobs, I like art and nature, but not in that way.”
5. People who are new to the site can take up any one of the above positions and feel like their say is worthwhile.
6. Other people who read every comment of every entry can point out to the people from #5 exactly how their comments are so unoriginal.
7. The people from #5 can simply vanish and go about their business or ignore the #6’ers and continue to post about how their stance is the coolest.
Everyone goes home happy after reading this blog.
whatever, old school fucking rules
Also can we just accept that the site is called stuffwhitepeoplelike? obviously its about upwardly mobile yuppies, ok? OBVIOUSLY! also obvious, the aurthor is NOT going to change the name, so can it! we can all figure it out for ourselves!
My sister’s cousin’s uncle’s neighbor’s daughter had a dinner party and we played CLUE all night. I think we had Pizza or something edible for dinner. I remember the carpet was blue and their dog had one of those cones on his head because he had a biting problem. He only wore it when guests came over. The electricity went out and and Doug burnt his hand lighting the candle and then the dog knocked the candle off the table after pulling on the tablecloth from Best Buy. Oh What a night, late December it was.
Re: 432
“3. The culture/lifestyle being lampooned is at worst one that is capable of being seen as snobbish. Basically white people are accused of liking art, nature, healthy food, having social lives, etc. ”
No, it’s worse than snobbish, although snobbish is pretty bad. This lifestyle is filled with the types who exploit non-white cultures to make themselves look cultured; they don’t REALLY like black people or Ethiopian food. They just like the idea of everyone THINKING they like black people an Ethiopian food, b/c it seperates them from the wrong kind of black people.
If they REALLY liked black people, they wouldn’t pay out the ass to send their kids to the schools w/ no black kids and actually speak to a black person who isn’t dressed like Lenny Kravitz or Bill Cosby (ie people they see as not really all that black), and if they REALLY liked ethiopian food, they’d eat it all the time.
For the record, black people don’t buy it for one second, b/c it’s all for show.
Snobs are people who try to be something they aren’t. That’s who this blogger is mocking. And they’re so stupid it took about 70 posts for them to realize it.
I know you probably have this topic lined up but, adopting Asian children has GOT to be here.
You are a genius, by the way. One of the most brilliant minds our century has seen.
i looove you.
“One copy of US Weekly, a McDonalds wrapper, a book by John Grisham, a Third Eye Blind CD, or an Old School DVD can undo months and maybe even years of work.”
I like to talk about stool.
I am white and I endorse this site. Funny stuff.
Pleepleus – from Three Sheets!
“If they REALLY liked black people, they wouldn’t pay out the ass to send their kids to the schools w/ no black kids and actually speak to a black person who isn’t dressed like Lenny Kravitz or Bill Cosby (ie people they see as not really all that black), and if they REALLY liked ethiopian food, they’d eat it all the time.”
Horseshit. White people don’t send their kids to fancy private or suburban schools to avoid blacks, they do it because they want their kids to get a good education. Black students who are as committed to achievement as whites are welcome.
And, you don’t have to eat any given cuisine all the time to like it…
I have found that no one can trump my lavendar creme brulee. it always wins, and that is probably why I am more likely to throw a dinner party than my friends.
That being said, they all know better than to show up sans vino. and no yellowtail allowed. (yellowtail became uncool in 2004 when it was no longer unique and hard to find).
Interestingly, “never-before-tried” inexepensive wines from Trader Joe are acceptable… and only because if you happen to actually to bring a few bottles that are $5.99 and delicous, it’s like you are a pirate who has found gold. you get the “claim to fame” of having found this amazing cheap wine and enlightening the circle. White people love a good deal on wine, but we certainly don’t like everyone knowing about it.
Great blog. You gotta have some white creds to get in this joint?
Both amusing and true, although this omits one of the most important parts of a successful dinner party — managing the graceful, grateful exit. Let’s face it, even when we’re at the dinner part of the year, by the time we’re all old enough to be hosting and attending these things, we’re tired long before it seems acceptable to up ‘n go.
Without fail, at some point after dessert, coffee, maybe even a sip of Port, The Talker — who, incidentally, is critical to the night’s success up until this moment — finally falls silent, and an all-too-familiar awkwardness sets in. The wine glasses that have been mostly upturned for hours are suddenly static, frozen in a tabled position. Yawns are repeatedly stifled, bodies shift in their seats, and the hosts’ faces appear fixed in a vaguely disdainful grin. (They’ve been looking forward to our departure since we accepted their invitation.)
Eventually, the Brave Soul, who, thanks to The Talker, was quiet through most of dinner, utters a bald-faced lie, providing a much-awaited opportunity for a multitude of “me/us too’s”. Honesty simply can’t hold a candle to the lure of our own beds, and so we ride this wave of shameful salvation right out the door.
“White people” like to place an empty fish bowl on the coffee table. Throughout the evening the men place their car keys in the bowl. At the end of the night the wives come by and pick a set of keys and spend the night with that particular man; however, if some woman brings a black man with her… the game is off. We crackers can’t have Kunta Kentay augering out our favorite wishing wells with his industrial sized tool.
How about dinner party (at a restaurant) on Christmas Eve! I’ve done that 2 years in a row.
Bohnanza is probably the best card game for parties… available where all your favorite games are sold!
sure, the dinner party is tres white, but nothing is whiter than using the word “tres” in place of “very”.
I hate dinner parties. My fellow “conservative” friends dislike dinner parties. On the other hand, my liberal friends and liberal family members love dinner parties. Their they can discuss and find mutual agreement on other items in your list. Then they leave feeling as though they have “made a difference”. If only the ilk of the world such as myself could only be as intelligent as they.
This is the most hilariously true blog post I’ve read in a long time.
This must be a pre-children rite of passage.
I vaguely recall hosting something of this nature way back when.
I believe Trivial Pursuit was involved along with Cajun blackened food and possibly wine coolers…..
443 Liz, Would you really want people to show up with wine? Is the idea to drink it at the party or swap curious cheapies for later? We have done something like that where the theme of the party was to come up with the best wine for the least money. (whites are cheap, after all!)
That works among very knowledgeable wine drinkers, but the minute you get merlot drinkers or Parker or Wine Spectator followers, it can get very ugly very fast. We received a dozen absolutely undrinkable bottles — mostly merlot — at a recent party. Most of it went into stews and soups — and was inadequate even for that role.
We match the wines we’re serving with the food carefully — with plenty of extra bottles and multiple back-up wines when we’re serving mature wines that might be wonderful or over the hill.
Yet another brilliant writing 🙂
… A rare dish from your culture with all the explantion and the proper way to eat it – just great.
You used to have to pay money to read stuff like this. Great job.
Astute observation. I enjoy this blog.
This blog is awesome. I know it’s steriotype, but every steriotype is based in some degree of reality. Not all white people are like this, but a great many of them are. In fact, too many. It would be of great benefit for society if the offensive connotations of steriotypes which have been programed into us would shift to a more good-humored self-deprication in order that we might stop taking ourselves too seriously-a common problem among white people. Especially those who engage in dinner parties, farmers’ markets, gifted children and diversity.
One thing I forgot to mention. Liking dinner parties is really only for white people 30 and up, because most white kids under this age are dumb as hell and totally socially inept.
These internet age stains need serious reeducation.
Wow, you’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel with these zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz topics now huh?
So, when’s the jungle fever post going to come out? HOOT HOOT!
Name the movie with this opening line: “I’m here for the gangbang.”
Knowing a number of people from other cultures, which do very similar things that they grew up and around in, the only difference is that these are things not uncommon found around a white family’s dinner table or den.
I always make a hit at any party or gathering, irrespective of culture, by bringing and then discussing recipes of French cooking or pastries. I wow any gathering when I bring and discuss my seven cheese enchiladas that I make from scratch, and my stir-fry is drop-dead sinful.
The success at any gathering in any culture is to be as interesting as possible by breaking out of the mold and having something of interest to the group.
My youngest son can keep a dinner conversation going for an hour when he brings several bottles of wine and then leads a group participation in learning about how to enjoy wines.
Just make yourself interesting, white has nothing to do with it.
Wyn at 445. Wonderfully observed and beautifully written. Hope everybody goes back to read or re-read this gem!
Until we stop putting color and hard line stereoptypes in front of people we will never make progress as a whole. Seems to me that people here on the blog enjoy this commentary because they feel guilty about calling out black people in some form of stereotypical observation and this is a way to off set the guilt. Lets get rid of things like BET and other racially seperating forms of entertainment and just let people be people regardless of color.
And what about Crocs? The new Birks?
Only Jews and Jewishized White liberals could pay top dollar to sport such fashion atrocities as if they were cool. These clogs are the Pontiac Aztec of footwear.
This really hits the nail on the head. My wife and I have only thrown one dinner party in our lives and I hated every minute of it. I was in law school and wanted to impress my law school friends, who I assumed were more sophisticated and well-versed in culture than I was, so the pressure was really on.
I remember we had wine, and I actually asked my friend if it was an appropriate wine for the occasion and he said it was, which gave me great relief!
I was listening to classical music at the time because I assumed at that time that all lawyers and law students listened to classical music. In my attempts to fit in, I was even listening to NPR! We probably had Mozart playing in the background during the dinner party. I listened to Mozart when I studied so I would feel like a lawyer. I lost that tape years ago after I realized that lawyers aren’t as stuffy as I originally believed.
I don’t remember what we served for dinner, but I’m sure it was something very expensive and had to be made out of a cookbook with lots of ingredients.
I have to say the dinner party was a smashing success but I’ve never had another. We’ve had birthday parties for the kids and bar-b-q’s but hell will freeze over before I go through the ordeal of another dinner party!
Here is another great one that is just starting….
Classic
http://peoplewhoworkincubicles.blogspot.com/
What are you talking about? White people ADORE “Old School,” and roundly admit to it!
How many of us involuntarily shout “You’re my boy, Blue!” every time we hear “Dust in The Wind”?
463 – BET is owned by “Sumner Redstone.”
“Sumner Redstone” is an Anglicized name for an undercover JEW named Sumner Murray Rothstein.
Jews always leave a bread crumb trail of filth and money. Follow both, and you will find all roads lead back to them.
Blacks are just pawns in their chessmatch for national and global domination here.
That’s why Obama denounced his Black preacher of 20 years in defense of Israel and Jews. He’s just another Jewish puppet, just like MLK Jr.
Love the site!!!
http://reverendtiki.wordpress.com/2008/03/20/dogs-vs-cats-take-a-bite-out-of-crime/
I hate dinner parties. I hate brunches. In fact, if I have to be anywhere where there’s more than five people, and there’s food (preferably prepared and served by someone else), just give me a plate-full and GTFO of my way and leave me be. And please limit your conversation to “They just brought out some more (insert food item here)”.
As a “white people” I appreciate much of the humor on your site, but much of it is inaccurate or irrelevant UNLESS we’re talking about LIBERAL white people. Then it’s mostly on!
Conservative white people are a totally different breed.
Dude, you have to monetize this blog.
Does poker count as a legitimate game for a dinner party or is that a separate entry?
#465 Blackrook,
You are the biggest tool ever to be propelled through a birth canal. Do yourself a favor and swallow a bullet. Your family, friends, and your dog will thank me for motivating you.
“…..” @ 442 ‘Horse[feathers]. White people don’t send their kids to fancy private or suburban schools to avoid blacks, they do it because they want their kids to get a good education.’
Now, now. If a standard like “lack of felony convictions” to vote is racist, and every black leader in the country thinks it is, then a similar standard like “parents’ commitment to education” for school selection must also be racist. All standards are racist. Live with it.
The only exception is gun control. You could disarm every black man on the flimsiest of pretexes, and no black leader would ever utter a peep.
MARCH MADNESS
442 – BS. The more blacks at a school, the lower the IQ and higher the violence. So, they go hand-in-hand.
442 – BS. The more Blacks at a school, the lower the IQs, the more violence and the more single parents with out-of-control kids. So, they go hand-in-hand.
463 – And who owns BET? Sumner Redstone.
An Anglicized pseudonym for Sumner Murray Rothstein, a JEW.
Follow the bread crumb trail of filth and dirty money and you will always find a Jew at the end.
That’s why Obama just denounced his Black preacher of 20 years in defense of Jews and Israel. Can you say PWNED???
Hmmmmmmm, last time I checked black people like dinner parties too. As do Hispanics, as do Asians, as do Arabics, as do gays and lesbians. I’m guessing you’re going to list tomorrow what blacks do to prepare for a dinner party….. and then the next day hispanics, and the next day asians, and the next day arabics, and the next day gays, and the next day lesbians. We wouldn’t want anyone feeling left out would we.
Nobody likes half of this crap, I don’t care what color you are.
If you have an ounce of common sense, half a brain and a pair of stones, you would leave now.
@ 478
Dirty money and Jews have nothing to do with this unless they invite me to one of their dinner party’s…Then well still not sure your point. Dirty money and married people are probably just as linked, what difference does that make?
Next SWPL entry: “Blogs about things white people like”
Uh, Jamal….I don’t think you’re getting the “humor” part.
S’Okay. Maybe it’s a white thing.
@478 braindead; who are you Mel Gibson? What does your silly rant have to do with dinner parties? By the way; how do you feel about dinner parties? Funny blog but way too many racist comments on it from people hiding behind their computers.
I’ve been white almost all my life but I missed all of this. Does that make me too cool to be hip?
Concerning whites having gay friends:
http://strongasanoxandnearlyassmart.blogspot.com/2006/09/mixed-company.html
The good thing about dinner parties? No black rappers. They traditionally do not dine out unless throngs of brothers are around to raise a fist against “The Man”.
🙂
I’m that black guy who was secretly studying white people in the ‘burbs. You called me the token, but I know your secrets.
You made me go to the hockey game with you because I didn’t complain when you took me to watch lacrosse. We would smoke weed out of a 6 foot bong at your house later, because your parents were in Aruba again, so I just nodded and smiled.
When we were high, the gang would start talking s**t, and I’d nod and smile again when told:
“Dude…there are n***ers and there are black people. You’re a black guy. Those guys we played from Bloomfield? Those guys are n***ers!”
Awesome, brah.
Sometimes, your mom made us egg salad or tuna salad or some salad with too much mayonnaise and celery. And ‘bug juice’. Ha ha! I get it, dude!
You’d tell your Mom to ____ off in front of your Dad, but he’d just ignore it. I realized this would get me killed at home.
Your dad looked at me funny until he thought I wasn’t there for your sister. He’d call me ‘brother’ or something light, and I’d smile weakly and give him enough of what he was looking for.
(I came back for your daughter on the late night, brother.)
I dealt with your sweet, racist Grandparents and their cute stories. They were either about how things “used to be”, or how they knew a great black man once (a janitor, delivery man, etc.) and how he was a wonderful example for his race. Thanks for that lesson, Nana.
I moved to that college town with that girl too. Amherst was great fun. Lesbians with misplaced anger (just like me!) and Trustifarians galore! We shotgunned Black Label, blasted your potato gun from the roof, and used the tub as a gravity bong in that big farm house near campus, dude.
We’d go on hippie-beer/hippie-burrito/hippie-Thai food runs and you’d treat your high school graduation gift car like crap. I have no idea where your Pavement tape is in all of this mess, but I’m positive you’re selling this car when you drop out of school next term to Eurorail it.
I haven’t seen you in a few years, but please stop sending me Facebook requests, Evites to pub crawls, and MoveOn.org petitions. I get it.
You’re white.
Just went to Drudge and read the Houston Chronicle article. (Clueless, or ironic?) Loved that byline. Is there any name whiter than “Corilyn Shropshire”?
I think I petted one of those last summer at the State Fair, in the Swine Barn.
I never got to hang out with those kids, I can’t decide if I am lucky or jealous.
What White PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE.. Having their comments DELETED
Oh, I see. so this is what white, liberal, yuppie, yankee’s like. I’ve seen you guys on HGTV and Bravo. Yeah, I’m white, but I’d say life is a bit different down her in the center of the universe….make that center of the Cosmos….Texas!
Organic is for y’all. Gimme carbs, protien, AND fat. TV too. No genetic aversion in any white people I know.
Thank you! I am a white person and I HATE dinner parties for all the reasons you mentioned. I would honestly rather chew off my arm then go to one of these nightmares.
More stuff white people like
Mayonaise, pickle relish, tuna fish, TANG, Bill Cosby, First Class air travel, Tax Lawyers,
Oh yes… and GUNS, GUNS, GUNS
Hey Mr. Black, that was funny!
Scott McC, if ya want to see some white folks down here, just head to your nearest Tractor/Truck-Pull!
Yet more things white people like
Barack Obama…up until about 1 week ago
SWPL = EVOO
my 2 cents
Hey 436…. You are a dope. I like Ethiopian food because it’s tasty…
I’m white and I hate dinner parties.
Happy Infernal Equinox, everybody!
What a theme for a dinner party! I can’t get my egg to stand on end; can anybody help me?
I find your insights to be quite humorous but I really think you should change the name of the blog to stuff LIBERAL white people like. That would be more accurate.
@Mr. Black,
Nicely done, homey.
As I understand it, the latest trend in Caucasia is having listening/dinner parties celebrating the brilliance of the podcast known as AudioLoveMagic.
The only thing whiter than a dinner party is a ‘house warming’ party.
Dinner parties are FEMALE events. REAL WHITE MEN HAVE BAR-B-QUE DRUNK FESTS
What is it with Black males’ obsession with White women? Is it about hating the white man and getting at him via his women, or hating his own blackness and wanting to have a whiter child? Is it either one, both, or something else?
–
A hearty welcome to all the Houstonians sent here from the Chronicle article! And a little orientation:
“White People” refers only to those white people who have to be reminded that they’re white. Most of them live in 50-100 counties near the coasts or major colleges.
“The wrong kind of white people” is the other 75% (or 95%, who’s counting?) of us. We are rarely mentioned, except obliquely (e.g., John Grisham, above).
So please don’t feel a need to comment “the name of this blog should be changed to…” We old hands here (after a month) have heard it 500 times already!
Oh my gosh!!! I have always thought of myself as white but since I suck at throwing dinner parties…….maybe I’m NOT???? Hahaha!
This site’s wonderful. But I think it’s so relevant to current affairs, that maybe you should play with that a bit.
Maybe the next entry should be:
Preachers that make them feel good instead of guilty.
Or:
Not being reminded that their grandma’s a racist.
A very white off-shoot of dinner parties is the book club. Sometimes these are combined with dinner parties/potlucks, but often they stand alone as a beacon of whiteness. This is usually a female only affair because men just don’t give a crap about reading books like Love in the Time of Cholera. Book clubs offer a great opportunity for even more judgment and dislike for other white people, usually involving the choice of the book.
Don’t forget University of Louisville football and basketball.
Go Cards!
I blogged about your site.
I’m not really impressed…
What’s wrong with “Old School”???
Dear Mr. Black, #487:
This is sad to me, because it sounds like it really happened to you. Since I am not hip, and not real white, and live in an uncool Red State, can you tell me what a “Trustifarian” is? And also, do you mean Bloomfield, Connecticut?
Also, what is pavement tape?
Sincerely,
Red State Hillary Supporter
white people also love WORKING ON THEIR TAN
What could be better than dinner parties held outdoors? That’s what white people like. As a person of pallor, we treat our friends to an annual summer backyard party for our friends. Lots of food, booze, and tables set around a bocce pitch. We’re all busy and its about the only time that more than a dozen of us can ever seem to get together. We’ve done it for a decade.
christ jesus why do so many people post comments lol, you need to get some ads running
You should definitely add a post on the Master Cleanse diet or detox diets in general. Nothing says, “I’m a martyr who can get through this and become so much more centered by only drinking lemonade” than detox diets.
You also need a post devoted to trolling for dates between 5-8pm at Trader Joe’s.
And you could supplement the Hating Parents post with the almighty THERAPY. White peope LOVE therapy.
Nice Blog!
http://cabluey.com
this is isn’t a website about white people like. this is website about what white people from LA and NY like. get out of the bubble, dude! there’s an entire country between the two cities!
This is a joke. But also a great idea for attracting people to your site! http://www.buycommonsense.com
“christ jesus why do so many people post comments lol, you need to get some ads running”
who needs ads when you’ve just sold the ‘Stuff White People Like’ book to Random House for $350,000!!! w00t!!11
http://www.observer.com/2008/stuff-white-people-book-sold-random-house-least-350-000
The best kind of Dinner Party:
Cookie Party !!!
WOOT WOOT
Let’s all take LSD and jerk each other off!
STOP POUNDING MY FACE INTO THE URINAL, THAT KID IS TRYING TO PEE!
Not sure i’d use the term white people.. This is more Liberal east or left coast white people.
I looked at the list and thought of the redneck on the couch in office space… If you lived in my town, you’d get your ass kicked for having half this stuff in your “favorites”
White people I know like to hunt, fish and do outdoor stuff (in cammo) NOT North face.
We don’t watch hipster shows or have dinner parties…. We get drunk and eat crawfish or BBQ.
We don’t go Vegan thats for sure.
Let’s be honest here… The title probably should be “Stuff Liberal White People not Raised in the South Like”
Please do not lump all white people in the same boat. That is just as stupid as me saying that all black people enjoy smoking crack and pimpin’ their whores. It is a totally inaccurate statement that looks at a smaller subset of the whole and declares it as the norm within the greater population.
Enjoy the free press you get from from Drudge… This is probably the largest number of people that will ever see this blog. Maybe you can turn your 15 minutes of fame into something worthwhile. Then again after reading all of the items on your list I have a feeling that you will waste it just like you have the rest of your life.
Thanks for that! Just today I was being silently baffled by why my whiter than white holy god the whitest man ever fiancee was insisting that we register for China patterns (to me a plate is a plate). Now I understand.
This blog shouldn’t be called ‘stuff white people like’, it should be called ‘stuff white liberal yuppies like’
META!
T.A. you must be from Landrum SC!!! I love the way you think. God Bless the South!!!
Love a good dinner party/potluck/International Food Club night!!
my ex and I used to bring flowers, wine and the Men are from Mars/Women from Venus game. Ah, yes. Brings back such pleasant warm memories. 😀
if you acted like this where I’m from, a group of guys would probably tie you behind a Ford and drag you to death!
LOLOL!
Sounds to me like the metrosexual, faggot or feminist who wrote this article never heard of good ole boys like me. We like beautiful White
Women, guns, Southern cooking, trucks and the Confederate Flag. We damm sure don’t cozy up with women not of our race, have faggot friends and we don’t call our cookouts “dinner parties”. Oh, and by the way. Im damm sure White.
James wrote above: “This blog shouldn’t be called ’stuff white people like’, it should be called ’stuff white liberal yuppies like’”
I agree. It’s really pathetic, as compared to the previous generations of American Whites.
When you get references from/about: “NPR”, Drudge, Lisa Birnbach, etc. it just goes to show how seriously judaized the liberal Whites and their milieu have become. It’s embarrassing to see (for these whites).
#530 Yes.
This blog refrers to “Whites” that are completely and utterly judaicized.
Black Americans, especially well-educated ones like the White people this blogger is describing, have high-end dinner parties too.
We just have way more food at ours. And more wine than liquor.
And we cook everything with lots of seasonings and flavor.
Easily the ***dumbest*** website I have ever spent two minutes on. You all have got to be kidding. This place makes Rush look like Socrates. Enjoy your fraternity of closeted homosexuals.
I found out today that the author is from Toronto and the co-author is from Vancouver. Now it all makes sense.
White culture is just racism. There really is no purpose to white people other than hate. Multiculturalism is gradually displacing whites whites are nonentities.
other things white people like:
-Google
-Production Design
-Sincerity (often disguised as irony)
-Disparaging pizza that isn’t from this one place in New York.
-Foreplay
-Hating on the “Suburbs”
-Fresh Cheese
-Road Trips
-Mixing Genres
-Walking
That happened to a lot of black men and women, but we’re comforting each other in Super Sized Churches and barbershops all across the land. Haven’t you seen the movies? We’re great!
Pavement was another overrated indie band.
A Trustifarian is a white male, often with dreadlocks, who lives an all-expenses paid lifestyle but looks and sometimes acts broke.
He’ll mooch off of you in the morning wearing his little rasta…I mean…Trusta hat, but when you get to the record store, he’s buying 300 dollars in vinyl. Upon seeing your stunned look?
“What, yo? I’ll get a turntable later…”, he explains.
The ‘trust’ is in his ability to get hooked up with a nice paying job…and his willingness to shed his deep beliefs in a half second to get it.
He may be marginal to Approved Whites in Berks and cargos, but a haircut/shower and trip to the Prudential Mall and he’s ready to be tagged and released.
(But what do you know about Bloomfield, CT? BOOMfield!)
Hey diddles, folks! What a dandy of a website.
Has it rally come to this?
Rush may not be Socrates, but he was right – the Dems have plunged this race into a race based race, and we are racing toward disgrace.
Actually, Rush didn’t say it quite like that, but with the jolly “Carlton Banks” like feel of this place I couldn’t help myself –
…was that too white of me?
(with a jingle) “Its not unusual to be loved by anyone… its not unusual…”
“It is imperative that white people know how to host a good dinner party as they will be expected to do it well into retirement.”
There may be some truth to this but aren’t high-end dinner parties really just a social phenomenon among “well-educated” people? Wine and cheese parties are another variation on the same theme and not an exclusively “white” pastime either.
This is so true it hurts a little.
@ #533
You are what is called a red-neck cracker ass cracker. Not an upstanding bleeding heart liberal.
It is hard to tell if the intention of this blog is to get these hypocritical whites to actually start mingling with non-whites or if it is a white conservative critique of white liberals.
These blogs really dissect phony white liberals with a great deal of precision and accuracy. Every type of white described here would fall all over himself/herself talking about how great diversity is.
If white liberals would just come out and say, ‘Yes, white civilization and culture is superior and we are not ashamed to say it’ I would respect them. Myself, I mean no harm to non-whites and treat them with civility, but really I could give a fig if I ever saw another one the rest of my life.
#545 re #533
Southern Whites (aka Scots-irish) are far less inbred than are the Hebrews. Redneck? What about that inbred Harry Kissinger?
The Southerners who joined us up there in the 520’s and 530’s are jus’ bein’ too modest. You folks are more creative than you think. You gave us miscegenation (1612) and multiculturalism (1619). And the income tax and Prohibition might never have passed without early Southern support. Rejoice in this statement from David Kopel:
“The urban South… was the first American region to implement handgun control.” (p. 185, “The Samurai, the Mountie and the Cowboy”)
Oh yeah, it’s nice to see pictures of white people without non-whites. The media vision of ‘diversity’ is a complete crock.
One thing that strikes me is how long the list could be and how short a similar list for blacks or hispanics would be? I guess high IQs lead people to do a variety of seemingly silly things.
This blog is great. I identify with it so much I forget that I am actually an Asian girl and am momentarily thrown into the guise of a white male. How liberating! Pretty much everything applies here, apart from #11 Asian Girls…
When you write “white people,” you mean upper-middle class liberals living on either coast.
Dear Mr. Black #541–Very funny, about Trustafarian. It’s unfortunate that something that can be very beautiful to a true believer can be exploited so easily.
This reminds me of the “hippie” movement of the 60s-70s. Most of the kids rebelling were subsidized by their parents in their rebellion. As the child of an immigrant, working class family, I found that fact astounding. I mean, hating your parents (my father would have crucified me) and then having them pay for your rebellion? Where was the self-respect? I believe there is a saying–Jesuit?–“Take what you want it life. But pay for it”
When I was younger, I was ridiculed by rich, white subsidized kids for having a work ethic, because if I didn’t work, I didn’t eat.
If you–or anyone–is interested in exploring this further (rich white kids “rebelling” against the establishment while fully paid for by their parents), take a look at _Death of the Grown-up_ by Dianne West.
I know of Bloomfield because I was raised in the area. It’s a suburb of Hartford, isn’t it? I drove through it once a long time ago. I seem to remember it as very depressing, but then, it was many years ago.
I always thought of it as poorer and very white. Am I incorrect?
Quadroon: A person having one-quarter Black ancestry.
Octoroon: An offspring of a Quadroon and a White parent; a person who is one-eighth Black.
Quinteron :
A person who is one-sixteenth Negro, fifteen-sixteenths White. The child of one White parent and a Octoroon.
Griffe: A person of mixed negro and American Indian blood. The offspring of a mulatto woman and a negro; also, a mulatto.
Sacatra :
The name given to the offspring of a griffe and a negress.
High Yellow (often pronounced, high yalla or high yaller):
A light-skinned Negro person. As some say, “mostly White.”
Marabou :
A person having five eighths Negro blood; the offspring of a mulatto and a griffe. Usage found in Louisiana.
Zambo :
A person who is three-quarters Negro, one-quarter White.
Californios :
A term applied to the first wave of Spanish explorers, priests, and soldiers who came to California in 1769 and later. In that vanguard, the soldiers were the ones most likely to have mixed blood, i.e., Mexican Indian, and potentially a small amount of Sepharic Jew, crypto-Moor, or even Gypsy blood.
Marrano: Jew
Converso: crypto-Jew
see also:
Half-blood, half-caste, mulatto; terceron, quarteron, quinteron; quadroon, octoroon; griffo, zambo; cafuzo; fustee, fustie; griffe, ladino, marabou, mestee, mestizo, quintroon, sacatra zebrule; catalo; cross, hybrid, mongrel.
Another thing white people like is cul-de-sacs. They can’t get enough of their own private roads that lead to their own private residences.
“A Trustifarian is a white male, often with dreadlocks, who lives an all-expenses paid lifestyle but looks and sometimes acts broke. ….
The ‘trust’ is in his ability to get hooked up with a nice paying job…and his willingness to shed his deep beliefs in a half second to get it.”
Actually, for most Trustifarians, the “trust” is very real in the form of a nice man (or woman) downtown in the trust or private banking department of an old line WASP bank, to whom the Trustifarian sends the bills, and with whom the Trustifarian has to meet when he exceeds his monthly distribution or wants to make an extraordinary purchase. Very much to be preferred to dealing with Father on these matters, since Father might actually say “no” — whereas the trust officer — who’s being paid to do this after all — wants to keep the client happy and knows that to offend the young master/mistress and heir is to eventually end the gravy train. Oh, a stern lecture may be given, but ultimately, as long as the principal of the trust holds out, the Trustifarian gets what he or she asks for.
Interesting post. I am white and proud to be white.
“[The Vatican] is a symbol of Western culture . . . a patrimony to be entrusted to the care of the white race.” ~ Eugenio Maria Giuseppe Giovanni Pacelli (Pope Pius XII ),1938
Funny how the southerners are all “don’t stereotype us, we’re nothing like these people” then go and stereotype the east and west coasts. I love it.
I wondered what happened to National Lampoon.
It’s alive and well here…
#554 HeatherO: “Another thing white people like is cul-de-sacs.”
The plural is “culs-de-sac”. Or “butts-of-the-bag”. If people are going to use highfalutin imported words for things like dead ends, they should be consistent and use the proper highfalutin imported plurals.
Speaking of culs-de-sac, isn’t this great suburban news for White People?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article1081560.ece
You people are evil racist scum. Whites have no right to organize. You are oppressors. You are filth. I cant wait until people of color become the majority. You’ll get yours.
I LOVE this blog!
Some other ‘stuff’ for future consideration could be:
Bi-racial people
Adopting Asian or African children
The British Royal Family
Tiger Woods
Al Roker
BYOB Restaurants
Being eco-friendly
Keep up the good work!
Cheers!
I have to say I take offense to the Third Eye Blind reference!
White people also like Frank Sinatra playing in the back ground and if there isn’t a chilled bottle of Pino Grigio chilling somewhere it just isn’t a party. I recently invited two other couples over for a dinner party and it went over smashingly… They loved the dinner plates – Pier One – the napkins – Macy’s and the silver ware – Target…… it was a fine evening indeed.
You may want to also add that White women really shouldn’t be responsible for pumping their own gas.
Cato – Thanks for clearing up the definition of Trustifarian.
Um. Yeah. So…
(Can a brother hold a 20? No? That’s cool.)
Red State – Bloomfield, CT was 50-50 poor/well off when I left 15 years ago actually. I’ve heard that lot of the people from Trinidad and Tobago who were tired of Hartford (But why? Oh yeah.) moved to Windsor, Bloomfield and surrounding towns.
How long ago did you leave? I’m in my mid-thirties.
Thanks for the kind comments too!
I like pretending to be a racist in front of other humans. This site perpetuates hate and violence (verbal, social, political, physical) by exploiting general ignorance. But, fuck, I like to beat the shit out of people I piss off so, fuck it. Beer Me!
The Last Supper was the most imprtant dinner party ever.
All hosts should imitate its host who was humble and completely without pretention.
Apple Pie for me!!!
Mr. Black, you are welcome. Thank you for answering my questions.
I drove through Bloomfield once in the early 80s. I am in my early 50s and still visit in the state. I always fly into Bradley (great modern art exhibit at the Wadsworth last summer.)
I had to visit Hartford on business frequently during the late 80s and remember meeting some folk from the Torrington area who referred to Italian-Americans as “Wops” (which, as you may know, means “without papers”, a term used at Ellis Island for an immigrant-obviously Italian-who did not have the correct paperwork upon arrival to this country.) For some reason, I equate Bloomfield with this memory.
For fun, I checked out the town of Bloomfield homepage. It looks so New-England-ly and cheerfully WASP. I imagine that in comparison to Hartford, Bloomfield would feel like a safe haven. (My work took me to the–ahem–“inner city” via I-84.)
But if you want a real dive, now, Waterbury is the place! I wonder if Holyland is still there?
Mr Black, are you now in a Blue State or a Red State?
White people are really nice people.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5633758.html
This site = ignorance
RSHS 569, Italians came with proper papers. “Wop” has a different derivation: http://www.billcasselman.com/wording_room/wop.htm
Here I’ve been watching college hoops since noon today.
Somehow..i end up at this website..how i have no idea..just followed some link..OK ND is playing..but before i go..
What the heck is going on here? I might be offended here..
( yea, i laughed..damn your commenters )
But still…what white people like? Com’mon..I can’t even bookmark this site..Can’t risk anyone of my family looking at that favorite..thanks for that..
So before i slip away in the mist..let me say this.
It really does not matter about race..we are all the same inside..I’ve been to the sunday brunch in napa, the hoh down down south in bars you shouldn’t visit, I sat on a beach in hawaii and sang silly songs with old beautiful locals all night long..( ND is up by 13..i’ll continue)
Iwant you all out there to know..what you already know.
we are all the same inside, the dreams, the pain, love, disappointment and success..we ae really all the same inside..and although this site is funny..it’s sad also.
Hey..did you know old white people like bridge party’s?
( i hear that..)
How did i get here? that question will haunt me..( not really, remember i’m watching bball now..)
It’s half time..so check this out..I/m not down on your humor..
but bro’s and sis’s..we are really all the same in our heart..all of us..My dream
instead of laughing at each other we start helping each other.
Please visit my newest charity to feed the world at http://www.food4humanity.org. ( really, i don’t want money..my lawyer likes to see clicks at web sites..you’re helping either way.)
Be inspired to help your fellow person..
Now back to collegehoops….how did i get here?
🙂
this blog is racist. plain and simple.
Cranium and Wii Bowling = right on!
I just graduated, and long for the day that I can host my first dinner party!
#475: Your Daddy should have spanked you more.
The next entry needs to be “#91 – the ‘stuff White People Like’ blog”. White people like to read about people making fun of them, they are just cool that way.
I’ve read more through this website and realize I am not “white” as defined by this website.
When I gave that dinner party I was trying to impress my “white” friends, but since then I’ve completely lost interest in trying to meet the requirements of being “white.”
I was going through a short phase of my life when I thought you had to be “white” to be accepted by lawyers and law students. It turns out I was wrong.
I’m just a ham-and-eggs lawyer. I represent mom-and-pop businesses, not Fortune 500 Companies. I represent immigrants who can barely afford to pay me, not country club WASP millionaires. I don’t need to play golf. I don’t need to play tennis. I don’t need to have dinner parties. I don’t need to wear the “right” kind of clothes. I don’t need to read the “right” kind of books. In other words, I don’t need to be “white” and frankly, I don’t want to be.
Ironically my liberal “white” friends joined big firms and sold out their liberal values because they represent the large corporations they pretend to despise.
Ironically, I, the conservative, ended up representing the “little guy” that liberals pretend to care for.
This is so fucking true. I hate these fucking dinner party my asshole friends throw.
“Ooooohhh look at my new coffee maker on top of my granite fucking counter tops.”
“Check out this new candle – doesn’t it smell AWESOME!”
Total fucking bore fest. I just go for the good alcohol and hope their hot teenage daughter will have some friends over so I can gawk at them and be creepy.
Well, I’m white, over 25, and I think dinner parties are boring and stressful for the host. Much better to hang out with one or two couples and watch tv, play video games, or go to some kind of sporting event or out to eat or something. So I don’t think this guy knows what he’s talking about
One thing you forgot: to be a really good dinner party, there has to be heavy drinking. This leads to hilarious confrontations about the time the third bottle of wine is poured.
The list is not complete without “dark rimmed glasses”.
I can’t believe we’re all the way down to 90 and still no mention of salad bars or Diet Coke.
Wait- is this a knock on me for not serving vegan chili and 3 buck chuck at my last dinner party of graduate students lamenting over how to fix Medicare???? (ie, solve the problems of poor people??)
Dubya Pinatas = after dinner fun.
Pin the Tail on the Dubya?
# 575 Noneya:
Read again, you didn’t get it right. It’s such an smart and simple concept that I can’t understand why nobody did that before. Genius!
“Stuff Mindless Liberals Like” I think would fit most of what’s on this list better. Except you would have to add a few more to the list such as: “driving a Subaru with a ‘Free Tibet’ sticker on it”.
very true
Hell yeah. Why is that white people are the only ones playing Pictionary and shit at “parties”? Absolutely fucking ridiculous white ass activity.
IKEA!!!
yes, why is it that Ikea is only in white countries? Poland, netherlands, Austria….and it’s home country Sweden…
Comment #13: “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.”
On. The. Floor. HILARIOUS”
+11111111111111111111111
Who is this clander guy? He’s funny as hell.
I don’t have dinner parties. Does this mean I’m not white? I’d better go look in the mirror! This is a very funny site LOL!
I think that Charles Manson secretly started this site in a genius attempt to finalize his once ill-fated plan, Helter Skelter. Crazy like a fox, that Manson is.
Heroine, handcuffs, white zombie screaming on the stereo and a swastika flag above the bed. Jesus H. Christ in a fucking chicken basket! This site breeds hate people, like a fire going uphill. Don’t let Charles Manson get his wish! LOL
…”Hey babe, would you hand me my gun?”
EVERYONE LISTEN UP!!!!!!
Of course the blogger means “StuffWhiteLiberalSnobsLike.” He left out the “LiberalSnob” part b/c white liberal snobs absolutely LOVE doing one thing more than any other – being snooty and laughing at “the wrong kinds of white people.” They love to let fellow liberal snobs and people of other races know that they are like most white people, but better; the modern day emancipators; “one of the good ones,” if you will.
There’s a very similar TV show about a normal white person dealing w/ these exact types of white people – Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO, which may be the funniest show I’ve ever seen. His faux paus at dinner parties and the such are legendary. White snobs absolutely lose their shit at him all the time, mostly b/c their culture is so foreign and stupid to him that he’s eventually screw up and hurt their delicate little sensibilities at one point or another, and confict followed by disaster will ensue.
Anyway, back to the point. The blogger is targeting WhiteLiberalSnobs, but simply called it StuffWhitePeopleLike because he knows WhiteLiberalSnobs love to blindly make fun of white people as a way of trying to convince eachother and non-white people that they’re not one of those bad white people. So he knew they’d flock to this site talking doing just that. But a few posts in, they realized they were being mocked and laughed at the whole time, and considering they think they’re the elite white people (hence the term ELITESTS), they got uber pissed.
This blog is brilliant in it’s manipulation of SnobbyWhitePeople.
#597 good post
In my experience: whites who proclaim their anti-white feelings (snobiness) don’t really care much about blacks or other minorities, pro or con. What they care about is achieving social superiority over other whites by demonstrating their exquisite racial sensitivity and their aristocratic insouciance about any competitive threats posed by racial preferences.
This doesn’t mean that the white elites view minorities as their equals. Far from it. Instead, they can’t conceive of them as competition. Nobody from Chiapas is going to take my job. Status competition in the upper reaches of American life still largely consists of whites trying to claw their way to the top over other whites.
To these whites, minorities are just useful pawns in the great game of clawing your way to the top of the white status heap. Which, when you come right down to it, is the only game in town.
I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING:
Before this blog, only two social constructs teamed normal, down to earth, secure, unsnobby white people w/ black people – sports and religion.
Now there’s a 3rd – this blog.
LOL I really can’t get enough of the SnobbyWhitePeople reaction on here. They’ve spent the better part of their lives kissing black peoples’ (and other cultures) asses in the hopes to win their affection b/c friends of darker hues mean they’re better than “the wrong kinds of white people,” and now those darker skinned peoples are snickering at their patheticness.
I find it rather splendid, and dare I say, delightful.
So true about the book clubs, Palause!
Cato, I think you’re referring to old-money dinner parties. Most of the hipsters these days are from well-educated but not necessarily old money backgrounds and their moms usually were professional women who didn’t have elaborate dinner parties. In fact one of the reasons this crowd is so into cooking (or rather, into the idea of cooking – magazines and all) is that they are rediscovering the pleasures of food and entertaining. They frequently resent their parents for not having raised them on organic/foreign foods and get them to dig up grandma’s recipe for whatever-dish from the Old Country. Those who are trying to impress with their coolness at dinner parties are usually out to show you where they’ve travelled, what new music or authors they’ve discovered, etc, rather than to match up to mom’s six-course dinner with nice silverware and cloth napkins and fresh flowers everywhere (mom would NEVER leave books strewn around!)
This is a comedy site. It’s a funny, self-aware, social commentary. Why are so many people taking offense? If we can’t laugh about stereotypes, then we are bound to keep silent about them. The author is endorsing these stereotypes ironically, to find some truth or humor behind them.
i like 2 have sex at my dinner parties, i tend to call them orgies
haha. It’s funny how you poke fun at a culture. “white” as yo call it. Not really sure of your intentions of this.
However can’t we do this with any race? Make some stereotypes?
How about black people say fuck dinner parties and just shoot each other instead and rob peeps?
or chinese people have bbq cat parties?
this blog is gay, you non white hipsters spend WAY to much time trying to bash whites to make yourself seem exotic or better. go fuck yourselves, nothing wrong with white people, and definetly nothing wrong with dinner parties.
WinYourWeightinImmigrants, I find all your posts very funny. I find your name very funny.
I appreciate your providing me with that post re: Wops.
Unfortunately, for the many people I have known who found that term insulting because of their mis-understanding of it, the revelation comes too late, as they are all dead now. But I appreciate your enlightening me. I will endeavor to enlighten others.
Sincerely,
RSHS
According to your list there’s a 50% chance I’m not white.
Re: 597 rpost3
15 million hits into this thing & someone finally goes beyond ‘this is about_____’ not all white people.
there must be thousands of posts like that but no one i’ve read has ever tried to pinned down why calling it Stuff White People Like IS funnier than calling it something more specific.
I think rpost3 points out at least one reason why this is true.
Mango Girl – are you contrasting hipsters (your word – seems old-fashioned to me, rather a ’50s feel) with your old money Mom who would not have strewn books about (strategically opened – hah!), would have had flowers in every room (preferably from her own garden), and would have done things up with the good silver and the bone china? I dunno. The Bastille Day dinner I described earlier was a decidedly yup crowd, ‘though I confess there was might have been some old money (or at least former-old-money-with-lingering-status) lurking behind some of the partygoers.
Good manners, of course, transcend money – though it’s easier to “maintain a standard” if you have more than a little. Some of the most gracious hostesses I’ve known have lived in straightened circumstances, but have done remarkable things within their means – their invitations were prized and they were frequently invited by others.
I do take your point about resentment some feel about not having been raised on organic/interesting foreign food. I was fortunate enough that my mother, having been raised on a ranch, absolutely insisted on fresh, quality ingredients, preferably locally grown. My father’s parents were foodies long before it was ever fashionable, and at their table one found serious, well-prepared French, Italian, and Spanish cuisine. In our own house, we’ve followed a similar insistence on high quality fresh ingredients (maybe ‘organic’ maybe not) and interesting food, well-prepared. It’s gratifying to see my fresh-out-of-college yup daughter and her roommate hosting dinner parties – consulting the ‘rents on recipes and wines, though she’s knowledgeable in her own right – delighting their friends and leading them by example to hold similar get-togethers.
although a good nit of the items on here I would agree with a majority of it screams middle-high class wannabee yuppies. You know the people that live in debt but wanna put up that front that they are ballin’. Perforemance clothes? WTF? carry your ass to kmart and get you some fucking sweats. Dinner parties? Nah I dont think so.
multiliqual children? Does it fucking matter? do kids not have enough to worry about already? this list is funny but some of shit does really spout out what white people like…TO BE BROKE AND PUT UP THAT FRONT!
There is one white person in the world that I dislike intensely. This blog is very descriptive of her. Some other white people have some but not all the characteristics and thus, I sometimes like them.
The dinner party is one of the most annoying things white people like as well as wine. These tend to go together.
I cannot stand the ritual of looking around the white person’s house looking for something to comment on. The hardwood floors, the size of the lot their house is built on, the colour of the wall, the breed of the dog, feature X that will increase the resale value of their home, the nifty kitchen gadget … ugh! I’d rather eat at McDonald’s! Please don’t invite me anymore!
Funny – first time I saw your blog after seeing a mention of it on the Drudge Report (congratulations).
My only question is how can you already be up to #90 on the list with no mention yet of NASCAR or Formula 1 Racing?
#608…You’re right. And, your statements apply to many middle class people of all hues….
My white friends love Happy Hour. You should add that to your list! 🙂
OK You got me. This is so true and funny! I can never have another dinner party again without thinking of this post!
I don’t know why white people like to drink budlight ( men)
wine ( women:)
561 – you forgot BLACK MEN!!!!! We love us that dark chocolate! So much better than white!
Thom wrote: “My only question is how can you already be up to #90 on the list with no mention yet of NASCAR or Formula 1 Racing?”
Because the ‘right kind’ of white people profiled in this blog would never talk about NASCAR or Formula 1 racing at Brunch or at a Dinner Party – they’d talk about books, art, culture, music, (maybe) politics, the food (in some circles) and wine, and (once they’ve moved to the ‘burbs) …. real estate…..
No, no, no…guests should NEVER bring food to a dinner party. You will seriously piss off the host/ess who spent weeks into planning the menu. Plus, you run the risk of one-upping them and never getting invited to another dinner party again.
Other than that, you are so so spot-on.
I threw a dinner party last week with three couples. And we did play Cranium. And I’m white. Wow – you’re good!
I’m somewhat puzzled by the references to playing parlour games at dinner parties…it simply hasn’t been part of my experience (maybe my parent’s didn’t tell me I’m not white….)
At most dinner parties I attend, guests are matched with common and contrasting interests and expertises, so that conversation can be sharing of ideas about things of mutual interest and learning about new things from friends who know them well. Conversation rarely flags until the wee hours of the morning, when we all realize we’re not as young as we feel anymore.
For some reason I can’t get my friends on board with a dinner party. They just want to skip right to the alcohol.
620 Valerie …. explain to them that ingesting food with their alcohol enables them to drink far more, over a longer period of time, before they become comatose, and makes the likelikhood of a bout of drinking becomes a bacchanal that could morph into an orgy…
You should probably retitle this blog “Thngs Upper-Middle Class, White, Liberals Like.” Given that I am, in fact, an upper-middle class, white, liberal, I can assure you that your list is incomplete without reference to:
-Target
-silver tag (charm) bracelets from Tiffany’s
-being “childfree”
-hyping up the microscopic part of your background that might make you “ethnic”
Don’t know exactly where suggestions are supposed to go, but you can’t have a blog abut things white people like without spontaneous photo shoots!
[…] https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/88-dinner-parties/ Posted by Theresa Filed in stuff […]
These articles are awesome, but as someone earlier posted–they only encompass white liberals (the Prius, Whole Foods, Obama, hating corporations–except the one’s they like, et al). I’ve never observed a group of people so easily stereotyped and mocked. These articles do a great job of articulating what I notice in my surroundings here in SF. Just remember, there are many different groups of white people out there. I live amongst the people you describe, yet do not (including my white and nonwhite friends) subscribe to their views. We love capitalism (corporations, investments), sports (not soccer) and America (we’ve been to Europe for amusement). The only post-graduate degrees we believe to be legitimate are medical, JD and MBA. Art, food and music are great, but we do not discuss such topics for the sole purpose of appearing erudite. Respect is earned by being successful and also likeable. In short, these articles do a great job of highlighting the superficiality and hypocrisy of modern liberalism.
625 CA – I’m floored! I didn’t think there were any people like you left in San Francisco — at least outside of the Pacific Union Club, Bohemian Club, and a couple of blocks in Pacific Heights. Are you Old San Francisco? Maybe even a pre-statehood family? PUC?
Dinner party at my house tonight!
No one bring Balaclava its totally antiquated.
Where can I meet a white person? I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen one in the wild.. Is it true that you can see white people much better in the dark?
[…] Stuff White People Like. I kid you not. I was worried I was going to be potentially offended, but clicked through and discovered… well that I liked it. In fact I liked a whole lot of it. I’m almost ready to come out of the closet and announce I am a white person, just not today. Meanwhile I’ll dream of hosting a Dinner Party. […]
At first I was amused by this blog. Funny, funny white people! Now, seeing the amazing number of hostile, closed minded people this blog as brought to the surface from whatever deep, dark depths they come from, I’m very afraid. Signing out…
That sounds like Mrs. Bucket (that’s “Bouquet”) from Keeping Up Appearances.
Isn’t this the stuff ‘Frasier” writers came up with 15 years ago?
I received a Master’s degree in German a decade ago from a Big 10 university. Every faculty member and grad student in the department, with the exception of me and a married grad student (with a child) from Poland, fit every single description on this blog.
Even as the lone grad student interested in the traditional literary canon, I am embarrassed looking back at how pretentious I was. Getting out of that environment, that type of ‘intellectually superior’ outlook evaporates pretty quickly. Within two years of getting my degree, I got rid of my Thomas Mann and Robert Musil and started listening to Slayer CDs again. Metal rules – screw indie rock and jazz.
Ah. The hilarity never ends. You never fail to make my day with laughter 🙂
Wow! I just discovered how white I truly am when I ran across your site. Love it! Obviously, the perfect dinner party would feature Sarah Silverman and David Sedaris readings (by the gay friends, of course), asian fusion food, and watching an episode of the wire.
633 Kyle…
Habe nun, Ach!
Philosophie, Juristerei, und Medizin.
Und leider, auch Theologie!
Durchaus studiert, mit heißem Bemühn.
Da steh ich nun, ich armer Tor!
Und bin so klug als wie zuvor;
Heiße Magister, heiße Doktor gar
Und ziehe schon an die zehen Jahr
Herauf, herab und qür und krumm
Meine Schüler an der Nase herum-
Und sehe, dass wir nichts wissen können!
Das will mir schier das Herz verbrennen.
Zwar bin ich gescheiter als all die Laffen,
Doktoren, Magister, Schreiber und Pfaffen;
Mich plagen keine Skrupel noch Zweifel,
Fürchte mich weder vor Hölle noch Teufel
Other things white people like:
Viagra, Cialis, or any other sex enhancement drugs. They even made a pill for Womyn. I’ve never heard of a non-white person taking one of these pills.
[…] to the blog “Stuff White People Like.” It’s great satire based on white stereotypes like.. “The dinner party is the opportunity for white people to be judged on their taste in food, wine, furniture, art, […]
Yep this blog proves it — I be 100% White. Keep it up, funny as hell
I am not a racist, nor have I ever been.
I’ve been called a jive turkey a time or two in my day, and frankly, I just keep on shuckin’ and jivin’.
Allow me to observe…
What is disturbing to me is that it is OK for other races to do these sort of things… in fact, it is called comedy (Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, Mel Brooks, Adam Sandler all come to mind).
But when it is a white guy writing about white things it is “hate”.
Can’t we all just get along?
The next thing white people like should be disingenuosly exposing their social liberalism by ironically referring to themselves as “whitepeople.”
I once was invited to a dinner party by this German guy. We brought wine…..he served the meal and then proceeded to “ask for donations” at the end of the meal!!
the food sucked, too!!!
I don’t know if that’s white european??
I’m in the South and a lot of this stuff does not really apply. No one (white or black or anything in between) is obsessed with their career, organic food, interior design or any of this crap.
No one gives a shit where you work, where you went to undergrad, etc…
White people also like Prozac. In fact, it’s like some kind of badge of honor to admit that you have a mental disorder. The most popular one is ADD. White people say it like they’re proud of it. I think it’s more of an excuse to be a slacker. They also brag about being on prozac or having tried to commit suicide.
this post is dead-on accurate. im not white, but i have white friends who are always inviting me to dinner parties. ive never attended one, except for the time i stopped by to pick something up while a dinner party was in process. what i witnessed just freaked me out. everyone was sitting around a table, wine glasses in hand, out-witting each other with every new sentence spoken. totally not my scene, but i just chalked it up as being “a white thing”.
the funny thing is that most of these white friends are also my employees, but i dont feel “hip enuff” to hang out with them when they are not working for me.
funny…
I’m just going to throw this out there-
But I hate dinner parties.
I hate eating dinner with other people in a situation in which i cannot comfortably laugh to the point at which it hurts. I hate eating at other people’s houses. I hate eating with other people at my house.
I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.
But I am guilty of every other white stereotype.
Especially tea…
Man i can’t get my hands off the green stuff.
I love how after every one of these blog-posts you get these people who write comments about how the particular subject doesn’t apply to themselves or most of the whites they know. Although a lot of these people are clearly liars, I think some of the confusion arises due to the fact that even though you may have pale skin, you aren’t necessarily “white”.
This may be shocking news to some….but many white people aren’t actually white. For example, if you have an Italian or Scott-Irish last name, you probably aren’t white. If you grew up more than a one-day drive from an ocean (the gulf coast doesn’t count) you probably aren’t white either. If you aren’t from “America” (read: USA)…sorry you’re not white, you are “European”, even if you come from New Zealand. The exception of course is Canada. Almost all white Canadians are indeed “white”. If you’re Jewish, you have roughly a 50% chance of being white. (You can always tell who the whitest Jews are because they are the ones who most deny being white.) It’s not all just about skin color….that’s why some of you despite always thinking of yourselves as being “white” may not get this blog…
Ew on the McDonalds wrapper – you lost me there.
don’t bring trader joe’s cheese to a white person’s dinner party; it’s not fancy or organic enough. do this and you will not be invited again… trust me
#647 The only interview this blog’s creator has done was with “Heeb” magazine. This site is about ‘liberal whites’ that are totally jewified beyond hope. I mean is really sad to see…..the degradation.
http://www.heebmagazine.com/blog/view/588
This blog is great however, it really does skewer the jewified Whites.
And don’t forget – when serving the food: the plates must be pre-heated in the oven!
Otherwise you might as well just give up!
Great interview on the Heeb site.
[…] Finally here is an extremely funny blog that has shot up to the top of WordPress.com’s most popular blogs. It’s called “Stuff White People Like” and is a hilarious piss-take of mostly American, middle-class, (what the Americans would call) liberal pretentiousness. I gather the author is himself white, for what it’s worth. Here’s the latest entry on what white people like: dinner parties. […]
When it comes to birthday parties, never get your daughter a pony.
What a mistake
#647 said: “I think some of the confusion arises due to the fact that even though you may have pale skin, you aren’t necessarily “white”.”
That deserves some clarification. If you state, for example, that you’re Norwegian and English on your mother’s side, and German and Hungarian on your father’s side, you are not white; you’re a mongrel.
You can show up at Westminster Kennel Club shows with your beagle-poodle-chihuahua mix dog, but don’t expect it to show.
If your ancestors, during the time of the Roman Empire were wearing animals skins and wrestling the wolves and crows for carrion – you’re not white.
If any of your ancestors spoke some consonant-filled Indo-European language that wasn’t rooted in Latin – you’re not white.
The best statement in this article: “If a white person says they have eaten the dish before, it is best to respond by saying “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.”
But all my diehard native dishes are too carb-y! Will I lose points if I make it 3:4 Zone-friendly???? I am doomed!
What’s with the ads? Are you no longer a grassroots operation?
I hate dinner parties passionately. Does this mean I won’t be accepted by white people?
What about old white people, what do they love?
http://www.stuffoldpeoplelove.com
#655 “If u state, for example, that you’re Norwegian and English on your mother’s side, and German and Hungarian on your father’s side, you are not white; you’re a mongrel.”
All of those people are White, therefore the result is White.
A “mongrel” would be a Mulatto, a Mestizo, a halfjew, etc.
see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casta
People of indigenous European descent define the term White.
I love this one cause I have for the past twenty years hated the total pretentiousness of dinner parties. It always feels like an obnoxious test. And I can’t stand the way all the women always — I mean ALWAYS– ooh and aahh about the food and how it evokes endless nauseating (to me) descriptions of other delicious food they’ve eaten. It’s so tedious and dull the whole dynamic of it.
#660: Nice try, but nope, they’re not white.
It’s a tough blow, but that’s the way it is. Barbarians; all those who are neither Greek nor Roman.
As #647 correctly stated: “…..I think some of the confusion arises due to the fact that even though you may have pale skin, you aren’t necessarily “white”.”
Dammit,
why didn’t I think to write this blog & make a 350k book advance after 3 months?!?!
Damn, damn, damn.
White people all think that the city or area they live in is “different” or the best place in the world to live. This place is special or it’s different here. So and so is the best in NYC or SF or wherever they’re from. Everybody is jealous of their city and wants to live there.
In these kind of White dinner parties, who cooks? What dinner parties with friends? Friends you go out to a restaurant with, family eats at home- and usually the women are the last to sit down, or the women end up eating in another room, while the men talk and eat , this happens on lesser holidays or like baptisms or if someone dies. Why have to sit together if you don’t absolutely have to!?
For real holidays everyone eats in the same room, like religious holidays . I’m talking more food than anyone could want to ever see again. Who are these goombahs who let people from work , or someone they just met in a bar in their home? You don’t sit around with a bunch of fanooks in your house.
Just kidding, that was a Soprano’s parody. Do they count?
But there is some truth to it. Some Europeans (whites, whatever) are much more private and have draw a huge line in the sand between home and social/friends, while others kind of have an open-door policy . In the family only model, friends and “dining with fiends” are an outside thing, you only come to dinner at home if you are ‘already accepted’ . Then you’re in, you can pretty much do whatever you want, get drunk, cry, ask for money, and you will be put up with- because now you are family- but there is none of this ” Mike and Carol my internet friends” are going to be staying with us this weekend, or friends continually crashing there, or endless BBQs. A BBQ would only be for a kid’s bday or a very old persons birthday, it wouldn’t be just about doing ti to stand around and schmooze ( hence no outside family people-besides , you never know who is a fed) .
Dinner parties…without them there would be no reason for Williams-Sonoma or Crate and Barrel.
[…] Написах миналата седмица за англоезичния блог на Тишо една статийка – Stuff Bulgarians Like: Dinner Parties. Идеята за името на рубриката откраднах от популярния блог Stuff White People Like. Няколко дни след това обаче в същия този популярен блог се появи статия, озаглавена Stuff White People Like: Dinner Parties. […]
Have you done serial killing yet? its a pretty white vocation.
Who cares who has the best dinner parties. Dinner parties for me are Swinger Parties!
Nude Twister anyone?
665 silent consort: You are correct that some Europeans have a more private approach to whom they invite into their homes, and are more inclined to entertain publicly in restaurants, especially with work friends. Europeans, in my experience, do tend to avoid mixing their circle of colleagues from their working life, with their social circle. This is, in large part, because of class issues.
A work colleague at one’s level might well come from a very different social class, and, because Europeans remain far more openly class conscious than Americans, would not even consider bring the person into their social circle. Although, it can happen: in one case, working with an Austrian colleague, after an evening in which we discovered very similar interests and background, I was invited to his house to meet his wife and children, and included in a gathering of their social circle a couple of days later.
There is less social mobility in Europe than in the US, where even old money circles will welcome new people if their education and behavior will fit in well.
Understand also that the modern American dinner party is an evolved beast with rather a longish pedigree. It begins (as does so much here) with the English upper class. The English upper class entertained at home because (1) they had the space, and (2) there were far fewer opportunities for public entertainment — the quality of the cooking in an upper class English house in the 18th through mid-20th centuries, where the cook might well be a trained Continental chef, far exceeded the quality of cooking available in English restaurants, and the ubiquitous upper class clubs, where the food might be good, were male only and where one entertained colleagues. There was plenty of staff so that the hostess and the host could concentrate on their guests.
As this transferred to these States, the upper class dinner party emerged in a world in which there were few restaurants and one did not want to publicly display whom one did and did not invite. In most cases, these houses too employed trained cooks and chefs to prepare the food and servants to serve it.
As the upper middle class in both England and America became more prosperous, and wanted to imitate upper class manners and behavior, the dinner party emerged. Without, of course, the benefit of cooks and staff to spare the hostess the duties of cooking and serving, and without clubs as a place for men to entertain work colleagues away from the family.
I do find, however, that even today, many people maintain a separation between circles of work colleagues and social friends. This is undoubtedly less true of younger, single (or cohabiting) people who are new to a city and in the process of meeting people and sorting out those who will be come social friends and those who will be work colleagues only.
By the time one slides out of Town to the ‘burbs, has a couple of kids, joins a church (‘for the kids’) and gets involved in local activities, the circles become more distinct.
A good combination is to read Stuff White People Like and then go to this blog:
http://www.thedromomaniac.com
to see it put into action
[…] Stuff White People Like: #90 Dinner Parties. (nominated by […]
another great post
I love Third Eye Blind. 😦
The antidote for whte dinner parties: a Mexican family fiesta where all one hundred of your relatives show up, fight, dance, and leave the kitchen a mess. My kind of party, one I will take over a dinner party any day.
Game night! So fun.
I can’t over emphasize how crucial the John Grisham issue is in successfully completing a MDP (mature dinner party). I know a White Person who is still shunned from a reference to The Firm made in 1991.
[…] worthies, “Stuff white people like” which is quite entertaining. POTW suggested #90, Dinner Parties was good, and I rather like #88, Having Gay Friends. Judging by the huge, huge numbers of comments, […]
Come by just for fun…
http://ww2file.wordpress.com/
Black people like dinner parties, too! Our azzes just ain’t got enough food.
The only thing worse than getting invited to a dinner party, is getting invited to a CANDLE PARTY, most men will not know what this is, but women will, usually this is a invite by a less than popular co worker, and you are subject to a nice , only equal to a tupperware party, the hostess, receiving FREE hostess gifts tries to rack up hefty “orders” by trying to talk you into purchasing EVERY candle scent known to man , such as vanilla – shrimp – rose, I have never even heard some of these combinations….
The “candle rep, asks stupid questions like “how many of you ever had a candle before”, you raise your hand out of stupidity and say “um I have” and win a friggin free tea light, I have NEVER been to one of these that hasnt been ALL white people, the better ones do involve drinking merlot, and maybe a tray of brie and crackers is off in the corner,after the conversation is all about “which scents YOU purchased, and you end up putting your best friends order on your cc , so her husb doesnt find how much she spent on a silver “wick snipper”
If you have been to one of these, you will know what Im talking about.
Coming soon to the list, I hope, will be brunch. White people love brunch.
It can combine many items from the list. Coffee #1, Tea #13 and Organic food #7, most obviously. But it is also a great way to showcase your black and gay friends. #14 and 88. Better than having them over to your house, where no one else can see them.
To me, it seems to serve the as a substitute chruch service for those who are no longer following their parents’ religion #2
Brunch seems to be the preferred way to cap off a weekend morning outdoor activity, at least judging from the number of white people brunching while wearing their outdoor performance clothes #87.
this sounds really fun! except if it were my dinner party you wouldn’t need to be part of a couple and everyone would get wasted by the end of the night. then we’d “BLAH BLAH BLAH!” until dawn.
who likes this blog?
http://www.newzity.com/2008/03/22/who-likes-stuffwhitepeoplelikecom/
LOL. That was funny and very informative. I think I’m getting whiter and whiter everyday. Which is a scary thing considering I’m Asian. But I guess that’s not too far off from being white.
Jane
http://mywoodenrobot.org
OMG. This blog is scary in its accuracy. I am havign a dinner party this weekend, and was hoping someone would bring Cranium 😉
Rather unusually we are having a ‘dinner party’ tonight !
Three guests, two of whom are close family…does that count? I’m not up on the etiquette you see.
Incidentally I have only very few ‘friends’ and none of them are black, and I don’t think any are gay either!
Am I a worthwhile person or a complete waste of space?
A rhetorical question, feel no onus to answer.
I’m just perusing this wordpress site after opening an account recently.
Even worse than the official st. patty’s day is the idea of ‘unofficial st. patty’s day,’ which is celebrated by several universities across the country. it is usually celebrated a few weeks before the real one. white college students really love unofficial
damnit. i thought this was #89. my life is worthless
Still loving the blog!
I just wanted to ad that I hosted a St Patrick’s Day party recently where we drank microbrews, played Cranium and Taboo, and listened to Neutral Milk Hotel on LP.
Sooooo white.
I only gets better!
As an experienced white dinner party host, I’d recommend always inviting one of your gay friend’s and his/her partner. That shows your other friends and their sig-Os how you consider your gay friends as part of your innermost social circle, immediately making you more accepting and progressive than any of the other white people at the party.
thumbs up! And its even true for white people outside the states – its the very same here in Germany.
White people are into subversive sex, S&M, etc. Post needed on that.
Don’t forget blogging! http://bradnoble.wordpress.com
http://www.thedromomaniac.com
That is some funny stuff about us “crackers”. Hide the rap
music the neighbors are coming
This is hilarious. I find the older I get the idea of hosting such a party doesn’t hold much appeal.
I hope Volvo station wagons makes the list
hey…i just keep getting whiter, when will it stop?!
Hold up a second here- after reading the entire list, I can say I qualify for maybe, MAYBE three of these.
I love my dogs, I’m Irish- so of course St. Pattys is big, and I like to redo stuff (home included)- only I DO IT, I don’t hire peons like yuppie trash.
But if it isn’t obvious you are writing about liberal yuppie trash, then I don’t know what is!!
I’m white…. the NY Times is the American Pravda, VOTE JOHN MCCAIN, deer hunting is fun and deeeeelicious, Phish is not music, organic food is fake and overpriced, I shop at farmers markets because… I live near farms!, I play video games ad nauseum, and I hate yuppies!
Mexicans like Burriots. Heh, I’m clever. see this is easy. noobs
See what Educated Black People like.
http://stuffEBPlike.com
[…] books? i sure hope the new one is a well appointed coffee table book that we can leave strategically placed for the eventual silence at the dinner party… […]
OKay so How do other races do dinner with guests ??
I am at a loss for words… this is so achingly accurate. That ethnic dish bit at the end was debilitating. I’m so in love with this blog. It’s a word that transcends “funny.”
White people, you are a unique breed. Don’t ever change. Well…change a little.
[…] goeie ouwe US of A. Daar komen al die dingen aan bod die de blanke levenswijze superieur maken: “dinner parties”, “outdoor performance clothes”, “hating corporations” en “bottles of water”. En dat […]
WORD.
First things first, I enjoy reading this site… it’s amusing at least. Skewed, but amusing!
However, I need to ask, when are you going to write up the ‘article’:
Stuff White People Like to Do: Blogging
Would seem appropriate, you know, a little self-humiliation is a good thing! 🙂
Yes, as a white person, I do love a good dinner party. I think in our teen and college we just have people over to “hang out”, but as we reach adulthood, these “hangouts” morph into “dinner parties”. And I think as we get older, and eventually marry, there really isn’t anything else to do but have dinner parties. So thank you for hitting it right on!
http://www.MissHonestee.com
My EX, was like a Martha Stewart wannabe… She always had to throw these painful dinner parties… Had to make sure the hippest CD’s were loaded in the Bang & Olufsen CD changer… Gram Parsons, Early Dylan mixed with other newer crap like the Shins, fresh (expensive) cut flowers, all organic ingredients, and of course, she let everyone know, french butter, live baby spinach, fancy linen napkins, NPR on the Tivoli radio playing low in the “Powder Room”. No lights on except in the kitchen– everywhere else, all fancy huge candles.
Because I drove a car older than 10 years… she asked me to park my car “down the street”.
Most of the conversation revolved around the most esoteric restraunts, and sushi places, and of course she knew, and name-dropped all of the owner’s names, and spoke of them as if they were all close personal friends!
Not being a big “food” snob, I always was the quiet one at the end of the table, and was generally ignored, because I didn’t have the highly developed appreciation foods & wines of she & her friends!
I felt…. Un-white!
COLORADO = snowboarding = environmentally friendly = an Obama state = plenty of gay people = everyone wears outdoor performance clothing
man… this one is so true.
[…] not lead to people passing around the link to this blog. My favorite gems are how white people like dinner parties, knowing what’s best for poor people, hating corporations (other than corporations that make […]
[…] #90 Dinner Parties […]
[…] I’m supposed to have mastered the art of the dinner party by now, throwing them doesn’t thrill me. Inviting people over for dinner makes me feel like my […]
Mrs. Dalloway to the max!
Unbeknownst to your ex, she had the social equivalent of toilet paper stuck to her shoe the whole time. First of all, showing effort on more than one or two things (a dish, a flower-backed-up-with-a-story, a really amazing playlist on the mac mini under your TV) is like admitting you are not sufficiently passionate about anything in particular, like you read a blog post about how to throw the perfect dinner party and made a checklist. You have to expressly not care about at least half those things.
Also, you can leapfrog her with a couple tricks. First of all, make sangria with brandy. Everybody will get drunk quick without making people feel they are drinking other than wine. Get wine with screwcaps – this is like brilliant jiujitsu whereby the in-the-know (screwcaps are better) get extra enjoyment out of knowing that they know that you know that some of the less in-the-know guests think they have one up on you, whereas it is in fact you who have one up on them. Get some skirt steak, bavette steak, or flank steak, grill or broil it and cut it into strips. This will allow you to put it on a single platter in the middle of the table, and with the salad and starch and veg you have the “family style” effect and a totally passable menu in < 60 mins. This is important because of the last rule your ex overlooked, which is that you can’t over plan these things. In fact the psychic root of the dinner party is that white people want to leave their houses on certain nights, but they don’t want to “go out”. In fact the most successful dinner parties are born of this need – on a Thursday you throw the “dinner party” lifeline to someone who needs something to do on the weekend, then you snowball it out to include their friend and their friend’s friend, and whammo, you have a dinner party. Not expending the extra effort will telegraph that you really know what you are doing.
It does, and it’s awesome.
“Even I had to show I.D.” Wow, that’s like when I bring kimchi over…
I went to Hampshire College:)
That was really funny!
This was the best description of one of the most stressful situations I have ever deliberately put myself in!
I LOVED it!!!
I am so white, I am beyond pale!
*sigh* yes, but its all we have.
haha
that sounds just like my mom
the pressure sets in 5 hours before the party and drives my sister and i INSANE!
Hilarious!
Visit
http://fartsmcgeeonaturdsandwich.blogspot.com/2008/01/farts-mcgee-on-turd-sandwich.html
there is more truth to this that i like to admit, and i’m only half white!
[…] #90 Dinner Parties […]
[…] Stuff White People Like […]
If a white person says they have eaten the dish before, it is best to respond by saying “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.”
ROTFLOL!!!
Don’t forget the Jack Johnson CD. I think it’s a rule that his music must be played a dinner party, usually after the dinner when everyone “chills”
They do it with turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and football.
DINNER PARTIES…A WHITE THING? I don’t think so. The brothers throw dinner parties it’s just more casual…a bucket a chicken and some watermellon.
You need to clarify…whitey likes only the fancy upscale dinner parties with lots of wine, shrimp, and fish.
Go to a tail gate party at Candle Stick before a 49er game and see how they eat…then go to a Raider tail gate party and see how it’s done. They both enjoy dinning and party’s but its done very differently.
Raiders…lots of BBQ dogs and burgers and beer.
49ers…lots of BBQ shrimp and marinated beef with a full spread of snacks like artichoke dip and bre.
[…] #90 Dinner Parties […]
I guess these guys are upset with your portrayal of White people:
http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?p=5301911&posted=1#post5301911
Oh man, my 10 y.o. daughter hosted her first dinner party last night for 5 friends before taking off to San Francisco to spend time with her grandparents. She smiled and waved goodbye to me while wearing two North Face jackets. I could not even make that up.
Funny! re: barbecuing as there is some truth to that. It wasn’t until I started working in predominantly white offices and living in a predominantly (85%) white neighborhood that I learned just how often White people like to have parties (not always dinner). Since moving to this neighborhood, I’ve been invited to parties for any imaginable occasion to include: St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco De Mayo, Ocktober Fest… And might I add… I love it!
Hmm does 1 out of 10 make you Black? I definitely like Oprah.
sheeesh. Why do you divide Whites divided into 2 categories (white and white trash)? Do All blacks parallel white trash? I beg to differ.
Here’s a revelation…. There are upper, middle and lower class people of all ethnicities.
Oh man….I am throwing a dinner party in a couple of weeks…didn’t realize it was so much work. No one here in Princeton has dinner parties. The women are too busy not eating. Once in awhile they will throw a catered bash for some special occasion. This is one of the whitest places in the country, could this be a new phenomenom?
Africa for Africans, Asia for Asians, White Countries for Everybody
“Liberals and respectable conservatives say there is this RACE problem. Everybody says this RACE problem will be solved when the third world pours into EVERY white country and ONLY into white countries.”
“The Netherlands and Belgium are more crowded than Japan or Taiwan, but nobody says Japan or Taiwan will solve this RACE problem by bringing in millions of third worlders and quote assimilating unquote with them.”
“Everybody says the final solution to this RACE problem is for EVERY white country and ONLY white countries to “assimilate,” i.e., intermarry, with all those non-whites.”
“What if I said there was this RACE problem and this RACE problem would be solved only if hundreds of millions of non-blacks were brought into EVERY black country and ONLY into black countries?”
“How long would it take anyone to realize I’m not talking about a RACE problem. I am talking about the final solution to the BLACK problem?”
“And how long would it take any sane black man to notice this and what kind of psycho black man wouldn’t object to this?”
“But if I tell that obvious truth about the ongoing program of genocide against my race, the white race, Liberals and respectable conservatives agree that I am a naziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews.”
“They say they are anti-racist. What they are is anti-white.”
“Anti-racist is a code word for anti-white.”
I like to cook and throw occasional dinner parties. Fortunately I am a male who lives alone so I get to bypass all the silly properness that is custom to these parties. I tell people to bring dishes, ask for help cleaning, and put little emphasis on presentation and much emphasis on having a huge plate full of great food.
[…] Stuff White People Like gave a shoutout to dinner parties recently. With 743 comments and counting, it seems to have struck a special chord. […]
Don’t believe the other Princetonian writing here. I’m another one, and believe me, dinner parties are happening left and right in Spelman. With sangria. Made with carefully washed fruit from the wa(wa).
If you’re just figuring out that you can throw one, you’re late.
Beautiful white family. If this were a black family, there would be a shooting before desert.
White people also like to edit what they read.
[…] Stuff white people like Jump to Comments This post is dedicated to the blog Stuff White People Like. […]
[…] Dinner Parties […]
[…] guess we’re white, as this blog tells […]
Oh man, I just did a spit-take on my computer. The part about taking an ethnic food is spot on.
I once brought fry-bread to a dinner party. One guest remarked how she had it outside a reservation on a trip through the American Southwest; she said that the fry-bread she had was made with baking soda instead of yeast. I told her that was just the nasty stuff we sell to tourists.
I got extra white-guilt points for telling the story of how fry-bread originated.
oh jeez. I see SWPL everywhere I go now. check out this impressive kitchen implement which “looks super modern perched in the fridge door and makes a great conversation starter when we’re hosting dinner parties.”
http://www.kk.org/cooltools/archives/002727.php
Another thing white people like: Attempting to draw attention to themselves by writing the same comment on every post. This makes them feel like part of the site, almost like the unofficial mascot, and when people comment about how funny it is it makes them feel like they are contributing to what makes this site great. Eventually they hope to draw the attention away from the actual content of the site and on to themselves. What they would do with said attention is yet to be/will never be determined.
ok this is the artical that did it for me. I not only host, attend and activley take part in such dinner parties…I ENJOY them!
Definitive moment in my life.I am white.wow. Thank you!
The best is jewish dinner party. The talk always ends up being about diseases especially anything that has to do with the colon. Also an aunt/grandmother/mother will always bring up the fact that even though your boyfriend/girlfriend is nice it would be even better if they were Jewish because they know somebody with a really nice son/daughter who could replace them if you’d only give them the chance to introduce them to you.
Also there will be a big argument. This usually occurs towards the end of the meal when the old person has to go “rest”….”look you upset your father!!!!” or “You are making Jonah’s asthma act up….would it kill you to shut your mouth for once…”
Also it is funny when non jews / white anglosaxon scottish types come for dinner (this does not apply to any person of any other ethnicity) especially on Passover or Rosh Hashanna because they get really really confused/weirded out when you say a blessing in hebrew and you ask them to wear a kippa. They also freak out when you serve salad or someThey just turn bright red. Also it’s really fun to say “this is what jesus did” and make them face their Christian Protestant
ignorance.
We also really like getting chocolates as hostess gifts. Especially truffles. Just make sure the chocolate isnt German because it makes it uncomfortable for us to enjoy eating.
I am having an identity crisis. I am black. Raised in a middle class/ upper middle class black family. Know ALL my black history. Am proud to be black.
BUT
I can relate to land laugh at all this white stuff. lol. does that mean that i am white? i am thoroughly confused now. lol
I’m surprised no one’s mentioned that white people like to talk about investing at dinner parties. It’s not nice to talk in pure dollar terms, but white people like to say that their investments went “up by 8 percent” or “beat the market by eight hundred basis points.”
Usually, it’s something like, “my 401k is getting killed this year.” Then, some wisecracker will say something like, “do you follow GreenestEgg.com for your Fidelity or Vanguard 401(k) or 403b retirement accounts?”
But black people would rather go OUT and spend very little money on crap drinks, like LIT’s, and tip like shit.
[…] Yes, I get it — it must be an announcement for a house party! Maybe a flier for a rock concert! The next PETA protest! Critical Mass rides on first Thursdays, no? I was choking up on the thick confluence of creativity. I had to tell her. I wonder if it would work with fortune cookies…you know, three broken, a fourth open and the message is “Come to our house for dinner and drinks!” […]
My family has never had dinner parties. People just say they are showing up and do so. Then we offer them food, talk about how screwed up our homelands are and end up dancing drunken, yet skillful, merengue. 🙂 go dominicans!
[…] Sarah & crew over for dinner today. At some point one of them asked to paint, so we set them up with a 2-sided easel, smocks, […]
Hilarious, but I’m still waiting for the SWPL blog on MINI Coopers.
[…] #90 Dinner Parties […]
[…] life in physical form: they were interviewing three white people on public radio who were having a dinner party, drinking wine nobody’s ever heard of, eating some kind of fish that probably doesn’t […]
I’m white but I have never hosted a dinner party.
this blog sucks. it’s poorly written and chooses topics that are obvious. college students like ramen; how original.
Does the kind of Stuff White People Like include things like
Truth, Equality, and Justice?
http://www.survival-international.org
[…] Stuff White People Like. #90: Dinner parties. [SWPL] […]
[…] #90 Dinner Parties […]
…ha bruce, that was funny…parking your car down the
street…..the women meant business.
…me too…i love good food and wine and good friends and usually in this atmosphere we caucasions display our best manners.
…or how bout Atlas Shrugg.
…flowers are great..presenting them could never be
assuming or with any expectations of what should
be done with them during the party…
Um i went to a dinner party in brooklyn hosted by a gay black man a few weeks ago.
It was a wonderful affair. fun, though i was completely twisted from partying all day. We drank wine and itunes was blaring away and I finished cooking the meal because well… he doesn’t really cook apparently. By the way i’m only 3/4 white, well maybe even less than that. What does this all mean?
-LK
By the way it’s just a fucking dinner party. It’s fun and the food is good, hopefully. The company is good and you get fucking LIT so who gives a shit if it’s stuff white people like or not? It’s eating with friends. It should be encouraged. Better then eating a fucking slice of shit cardboard pizza for $2.50 while standing upor camping out a McDonald’s.
MORE DINNER PARTIES!!!!!!! Make Gumbo make Greens make Idli cakes and Sambar, roast a morel stuffed PORKLOIN. it’s food and it’s gooooood. Grow your own food and serve it. Take romantic walks and pick your own herbs, buy GODDAMN ethnic INDIAN SPICES on 6st, paint a fucking DOT on your forehead while you cook. burn incense and play fucking Rainforest pygmy sounds to urban backbeats.
Who gives a shit. It STUFF THAT PEOPLE DO.
Relax yourself LK – this is all in done in humor (even if it is dead right accurate).
I was invited to white folk dinner party last weekend and brought baklava and the other guests effen swooned when I unwrapped it as if it is was pure gold or some ambrosia of the gods. after the hostess took and neatly arranged each individual piece on a pretty multi-tiered cake plate with doiles and flowers, everyone wanted to know the recipe. i kept quiet the fact that i had picked it up from a crappy market moments before arriving and the fact that it was the worst baklava I had ever had in my life.
because i am lebanese, everyone thought it must be so authentic. i secretly laughed my ass off. as they asked me questions about it (its origins, how best to make it, how and when to eat it), i could have told them ANYTHING and they would have just believed it. it was classic. such effen tools they were!
P.S. playing NPR at a low volume on your tivoli radio in the bathroom is a BRILLIANT idea – thanks for the tip.
just as long as it doesn’t involve any costumes or elaborate activities (like *ugh* a murder mystery). then it becomes a themed party and is no longer just dinner and conversation.
http://www.poorpeoplelikepizza.blogspot.com
Extremely hilarious post. Very few things can make me laugh outwardly, but I did.
Except this wasn’t funny, and didn’t seem at all accurate:
“In order to fill the silence, white people will often turn to board games (Cranium!) or Wii Bowling. This lets everyone have fun together without having to really talk to each other, which is usually more fun anyways.”
Everything else was apt as shit.
you have to admit tho…whatever faults we white folks may have; white women can be pretty easy on the eyes. like the blond in the photo.
Ha! This is hilarious! I’ve just entered your typical white-bred college and this is SO TRUE! A lot of “ethnic” kids like to imitate the white person dinner party, but it never quite works out. Waaaaay to awkward. You should also do a post about “dance” parties. For us minorities the word “party” implies dancing and thus the white people party category of “dance party” is supremely confusing.
Life in Washington Heights/Inwood/Marble hill! Gotta love the arroz con gandules/abichuelas!
People upset because they give dinner parties and don’t want to be on the list . Everyone is bound to find themselves on the list many times. It’s not taking yourself to seriously.
And after the dust settles, only happyjack remains.
With the Stuff White People Like blog officially slain, it’s time for me to move on to more challenging prey. Perhaps I’ll meet some of you on my next target.
Stuff White People Like died on April 17th, 2008. RIP.
[…] black people don’t like having other black people over — then chuckled when I read on Stuff White People Like that next day that white people love dinner parties, it seemed apropos to write one out now for my […]
Back yard bar-b-que with hotdogs, burgers, shredded pork, beans, collards, and beer. My white friend introduced me to mojitos and kabobs so I like that now.
[…] So last night I accomplished #90 – Dinner Parties […]
Another thing white people like: showing off HTML “skills” on message boards. Even people with arts and political science degrees can learn such a simple language but it makes them feel as if they’re “geeks” when they use it.
Your post apparently pertains to white Americans and white Canadians, because white Europeans do not have a problem with giving a dinner party. Nor do they need to revert to playing games or Wii. Why? Because Europeans have the art of conversation down pat and can carry on a dinner conversation for 5-6 hours, or longer if need be. Intellectually they don’t need mindless games as a stimulant.
I love being white!! thanks for pointing out some of the things that I enjoy so much – especially if you are black. This may explain the lack of proper editing.
[…] new apartment was an extend-able dining table. We have grand hopes of entertaining and throwing dinner parties. Hence, the need for more things for the kitchen and […]
Chinese: I have a big family and we celebrate birthdays once a month. We go to a big Chinese restaurant, take up two huge round tables and order a bunch of shit. Then we eat, and talk, and the old ones fight over the bill. Then we go back and they watch sports.
Filipino: I have an even larger Filipino side of the family, many people whom I don’t know. We go to some Auntie’s house, arrive about half an hour later than most people (people trickle in eventually). There are plates of food on the table, the kitchen island, the counters. Food absolutely EVERYWHERE. Self-serve, self-sit, enjoy. Sometimes we watch a pirated movie.
[…] his many “dinner parties” (I’m a bad white person because I’m not sure what they entail), Stephen Joel Trachtenberg (now that’s a name) […]
To Rick: The author is white himself. There’s no need to say racist stuff of this sort.
I’m half-white, and I love giving dinner parties. Right on!
Thank you for teaching me how to be white. I grew up in New Mexico among Hispanic people and Native Americans, although I was born white. I moved to Washington state, where I’ve had trouble adjusting to the culture. I’ve learned so much from this site. I might be able to assimilate now!
All you need to have a good white dinner party is a couple of “I can top that” stories. Once you get that started you’ve outdone yourself and everyone who contributes thinks they are the most popular (truly a white obsession).
White people (myself included) can’t even listen to the other toppers’ stories because we are already digging one up from our past and ready to pounce so as not to allow anybody else the chance to top that before we get our OMG story told.
Truly a dinner party to top all dinner parties.
[…] Dinner parties (#90) […]
[…] I found out she was having a dinner party and didn’t even invite me (just like Ramona and Jill on The Real Housewives Of New York!) She […]
I once threw a dinner party, but all we had was spaghetti, and I didn’t have a dining room, or a dining room table, so everyone sat on the floor around the coffee table. So after reading this post, I also feel very un-white. We can be un-white together.
[…] #90 Dinner Parties […]
shouldn’t you substitute the word “obnoxious liberals” for the words “white people”?……just askin’
I am truly amazed at the way you have absolutely nailed this demographic and their neurotic habits……but these irritating tendencies aren’t limited to “white people”…..they are characteristics of “obnoxious liberals” of every color !
My white friends and I gather at each others house and each a bunch of pyschadelic mushrooms and take it from there.
shouldn’t you substitute the word “obnoxious liberals” for the words “white people”?……just askin’
Because nothing is more white than liberalism.
I read the post about dinner parties for the first time today.
It’s so true. I’m a 59 year old woman, and I’ve never in my life given a party like this, because I just couldn’t cope with it. But I’ve always felt terribly guilty and embarrassed about my inability to do so.
But now, thank heavens, I know it’s not that I’m a social failure–I’m just a race traitor. As a white person, that is of course much easier for me to handle.
You must be an Aggie?!
[…] you having a d-bag over to your house for a dinner party? If you are beware — d-bags hate conspicuous displays of cultural capital almost as much as […]
[…] Dinner Parties […]
This is so different from Samoan “dinner parties” which are like trough time. Large platters of fatty canned corned beef and large lumps of cooked taro in coconut cream,boiled green bananas and a very fatty meat called povi masima and whole fish.. or salt beef are plonked on the table, There is no conversation ,, just the cacophanous sound of the guests slurping and crunching and munching and sucking,,, any conversation is seen as a hindrance to the gutzes there.The only veges are in an overcooked insipid chow mein,Fish goes in one side of the mouth and bones fly out the other.
I dont have anything thats trendy.I have an old house, mismatched cutlery and dinner plates,….i wouldnt fit into this dinner party thing. We have ordinary meals with n0o pretense
We do stuff like this too-except we talk about mistakes in our community as we eat soul food and dance to soul and r&B.
[…] Christian Lander paints a pretty hilarious caricature of us kooky white folk, with entries like “Dinner Parties”, “Outdoor Performance Clothes” and “ Arts Degrees”. Much to the dismay of my editor I am […]
Wow… I am very white, and apparently under appreciated 🙂
[…] Dinner Parties: LOLOL […]
Don’t Worry Bruce, you sound like a proud to be lazy white guy
I knew you weren’t white right when I started reading your post
Ummm, for some reason there rings some truth in this as I have witnessed this type of stress and competition between my white friends (one being my former roommate)here in Hong Kong of who has the best dinner party. None of these people are Americans….they were Aussies, Brits, and South Africans
Please invite me to one of your parties. I am not “white” but most of the people I met in college were and the parties sucked to say the least. When I realized that this shit was just a segment of culture, I was relieved.
Me encanta bailar salsa, merengue, bachata, cumbia…de todo!!! Hell yeah for Latino parties!!!
yeah. wine and cheese. wtf do white people know about wine and cheese anyway? that should be indicative of a french party. duuuuuuuuuuuuuh.
Third Eye Blind would never undo anyone’s rep. They’re an awesome group!
Some people simply like to cook good food for good friends though, and they are likely to be the kind of people that enjoy having a well-decorated house. It seems to me that if you feel like you can’t cope with something like a dinner party, the guest list you have in mind does not consist of true friends that respect and care for you.
Unfortunately many people think that dinner parties are for competition with others that are merely acquaintances, not friends. I agree that’s pretty twisted and pathetic.
Cooking is a pleasure shared by all races but there are times when people compete for no reason try this option SHARE
go too http://www.revoint.com
[…] Rehm. We think Ira Glass, Terry Gross and Carl Kasell would all have a great time at one of our dinner parties. But we do kind of despise those schlubs on This Splendid […]
Several of your postings are a reach at best however this one is dead on. I’ve been a guest at some of these dinner parties thrown by white acquaintances and in each instance, they went down exactly as you described in your post.
For me there were lots of awkward moments, like when they started talking about their children (I don’t have any.), politics (totally not interested), which wine goes best with red meat (I drink Pepsi typically.), the latest David Sedaris book (I only know him as Amy’s brother) and Seinfeld reruns (Brothas don’t watch Seinfeld).
I sat there most of the evening afraid to contribute anything to the conversation for fear of being thought of as stupid or a typical uninformed black person.
The fact that I was the only black person in the room didn’t make it any easier. I couldn’t shake the feeling that everything and anything I said that evening was going to represent the feelings and opinions of every black person in America. That’s a topic for another discussion.
The only dinner party I’d want to attend or give is a barbecue with paper plates and canned beer.
And don’t forget the fashion requirement. Everyone is expected to display subtle but fashion-forward attire. At most, only a single piece of flashy, stand-out clothing can be a part of anyone’s ensemble…
i.e. the bright-yellow-patterned summertime wrap that may or may not have been found hidden away at World Market, the excessively-unique glasses rims or the colored / beaded “moccasins”…with a nod toward Gucci’s Fall line.
Special note:
Men automatically forfeit said guideline with the inclusion of any coffeehouse hat / fashionista skull-cap or ANY kind of homosexual-rumor-inducing scarf.
I ALWAYS do dinner parties!! I love them!! 🙂 And I’m of Asian descent! What does that mean???
that means u are gay
Other stuff white people like, reusable grocery bags to carry their organic food.
http://www.cafepress.com/day_earth/4563204
[…] #90 Dinner Parties […]
LOL I love to host dinner parties, sharing food & wine is universal, it transcends cultural and racial lines. It’s all about sitting down, eating some good grub, and drinking a lotta wine with yer buds. No competition allowed!
Apparently stating some facts about a typical dinner party is funny nowadays.
You know what really is funny though? I wonder what people’s reactions would be if this blog is “Stuff Black People Like”.
You can find out here:
http://stuffblackpeoplelike.wordpress.com/
to random black guy,
Dude, you werent supposed to talk at the party. you were part of the entertainment, as the sole black person. you were to be seen and not heard from. if you had a really big fro, or dreds, or one of those really long, nappy beards, all the better. and you should have brought a white woman with you!
White people also like obscure words such as deipnophobia
deipnophobia
(dapn-)
repr. Gr. -, combining form of dinner, used in nonce-words and combinations, as deipno-diplomatic of or pertaining to dining and diplomacy, deipnophobia dread of dinner-parties.
1827 Brit. Critic I. 475 An interchange of deipno-diplomatic correspondence. 1891 Daily News 23 June 4/8 People who heartily sympathise with the ‘deipnophobia’ of Gordon.
Simply can’t get enough!
yeah.
it’s definitely a well-known fact that black people never hang out with their friends and have dinner parties.
To David Jackson,
Your point is valid. I was there to be seen and not heard. It wasn’t until a few days later that I realized this. Unfortunately, I lacked the big fro, dreds and ‘nappy’ facial hair however to your point, I did accompany a white woman (and no she wasn’t full figured…) to this dinner party.
[…] Comments I would say one of the most difficult things for me (in situations like this) is having company over to the house. Last night, one of Rachel’s nursing school friends came over with her […]
Dinner parties are also where white people discuss what is right for white people to do. They talk about their bumper stickers.
I never get invited.
You know, I’m glad I’m the wrong kind of White ^_^ Being the right kind is just so … stressful, and so worldly.
And thus I prove my superiority over the “right kind.” Being above mere social events like dinner parties does wonders for one’s self-image (especially when others do not share that image).
im having one next week http://www.SHOP-LUSCIOUS.com
How about if you use kate spade chinaware you got from your wedding? is that cool or not?
Dinner parties are good for serving fried-cat to your ‘friends’ without their knowledge.
agreed. the “right” kind of white is purely made up of all those trendy fucks. Do what you want, not what everyone expects.
last time i had a dinner party it was beans on toast all round…..
I always feel awkward at these dinner parties (due to the g/f), especially when people are inclined to “dress up”. If that many people are in a room at the same time, there better be a match on t.v. or some shit or people better be getting pissed…I mean, why do people feel inclined to FORCE conversation and contact with people….(psst….if u live as a human, it’ll probably happen naturally)
C’mon people, a nice dinner party is the most refined way to spend the evening. Don’t worry about the food (too much) but make sure your guests enjoy each other. A minimum of comfort, adequate lighting, red wine galore should do it. My most successful host (going back to 1981…) serves indifferent food in a decor that has not changed since, but the conversation is always interesting. Of course, we are too old to go clubbing now and all go home but wow, was it ever fun. I am planning a dinner for 8 on October 11 and will have 3 students eager to find out about it as guests. The best gift I can give them !
The golden rule of an effective dinner party is the amount of booze. Have two to three bottles of wine per guest. Set the party so that people arrive at 7 and dinner is supposed to be served at 8. Ruin the food, so that whatever is left in the fridge is served at 9. That way, everyone will be so drunk by the time you serve food, it won’t matter that you gave up on the standing rib roast and just threw together a tomato omlette.
“…two to three bottles of wine per guest ?” That is whay I call a boozing party. I attended one like that in 1993. I ended up in bed with another guest, male, but as we were both dead drunk, and just collapsed fully dressed on the bed, “…l’honneur était sauf…” but I still wonder…
Oh dear, I must be the “wrong kind of white person”! I have all of the taboo items except the US Weekly in my house! 🙂
fuck yeah, i don’t have any of the taboo items.
mcdonalds is shit.
Guilty! This stuff is so funny to me!
You have got have a copy of the Wall Street Journal on your coffee table. Then the other party goers will see it and know how white and informed you are about medium term convertible debentures.
The thing that we (Black people) always comment on regarding your dinner parties (and cocktail parties) is that no one dances. Sitting or standing around talking is not a party. You gotta dance!
totally agree. when i was skimming the paragraph, i mistakenly thought that third eye blind was being mentioned as a subtle detail that would undoubtedly add to the party’s awesomeness. generation z white people love 90s nostalgia. third eye blind cd? yeah. mc donald’s wrapper? hell yeah! US weekly? why not?
also, you’re trying to tell me that the people in your picture don’t like old school? puhlease.
I’m white and I fit a ton of your posts, but I hate dinner parties with a passion. They are the worst thing in the world that doesn’t involve wearing a suit.
There is one aspect that was not mentioned in how white people judge a dinner party: Guest selection. The truly great white people are adept at selecting people that will compliment each other, professionall, intellectually, spiritually, so that the conversations will continue on into the night and the boozing can continue without any social stigma attached.
I don’t dance because I’m to busy getting trashed and making an ass out of my white ass. I also don’t waste my time worrying what people do or don’t at dinner party’s. I do like going to dinner parties where the host has a stripper pole in the living room. Its very relaxing to watch white women work the pole.
Good point … where’s the post on white people deluding themselves on knowing about economics/finances?
WKOWP
I love cats! But, I usually can’t eat a whole one.
This is hilarious. Whoever writes SWPL is a genius, nothing short. I love this blog, you should make a TV appearance or something.
The new thing white people love is going to a HBUC like that bloke who went to Morehouse. 😀
[…] Like The Office, but about you. It hits a little too close to home sometimes. Like here, here and here. The latest entry, hummus: When it comes to food, all white people are either allergic to/or have […]
If I had a copy of the WallStreet Journal or any other thing like that when I’m entertaining my friends they’d look at me laugh. Bring out the beer & the cards. Our dinner parties consist of drinking & playing spades or Euchre with a Kevin Smith movie in the background or some kick ass CD.
yes but kevin smith was totally the wes anderson of the 1990s, and for generation X trying hard not to try was the key to white social acceptance.
You know, eastern europeans must not be entirely white because the parties we had growing up were full of dancing AND 15 different servings of food. We never played board games. It was talk, drink, and dancing late into the night. White people from western europe and the US never seem to dance at their parties.
Cause they can’t dance.
[…] I often don’t recognize it when I’s used grammar wrongly. What’s up with that?) #90 Dinner Parties […]
Yes, you don’t want white people to dance… *cringe*
Some dinner party tips:
Plan to provide a non-traditional Thanksgiving meal. People are sick of turkey and dressing. You should bring back a favorite like tuna and crackers and be creative with side dishes.
Whenever anyone offers to help or bring a dish, say, “NO thank you, I have got it covered.”
Do NOT serve cheeses, dips, olives, chips and small sandwiches. These are items that will choke guests with ease. If a guest chokes be ready to roll.
Before the table settings and centerpiece are in place, sit in each chair to make sure each chair will hold the weight of the guest. Fat guests should be assigned the more sturdy chairs or offer to let them eat on the couch.
Kids should not be invited because they are gross and eat with their fingers.
DO NOT provide any low calorie dishes. If people are too fat to eat regular food they should not be invited.
Completely clear the table of all dishes from previous courses before serving dessert. The goal is speed not pleasure.
Feed them quickly then swiftly move to dessert. After dessert, offer a drink then escort the guests out to their cars.
Fill the sink with soapy water so cutlery and small dishes can soak clean. DO not drink the soapy water.
I don’t understand the “?!” with identifying an Aggie?
I will now give you a pat on the back and a congrats!
What about Apples to Apples?
Definitely a white game.
LOL – wow, your parties sure sound like fun.
“Kids should not be invited because they are gross and eat with their fingers. ”
You obviously don’t have or don’t like kids. Ha ha…
Funny stuff.
Don’t drink the soapy water? Wow, how much alcohol do you server at your parties where you even need to worry about that? Unless you went ahead and invited kids…
I dont see any correlation between Kevin Smith and Wes Anderson, please elaborate on how they might be simmilar?
You make some very good points. Bringing the right gift is a very important part of being a good guest. Think outside the box!
On the host side, it can be difficult to keep these functions fresh and exciting. This becomes more true as the same group meet frequently. I think decor is a large part of solving this problem. It doesn’t need to be a lot, but it should be well thought out. Even if it is just a nice set of flatware together with formal linens, you’ll notice a difference.
These gatherings are a time for strengthening friendships and relationships of all kinds. Rather than pushing through the meal and pushing the guests out the door, take time to relax and enjoy each other’s company.
— If a white person says they have eaten the dish before, it is best to respond by saying “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.”
— that is fucken funny…
“If you are able to bring a particularly rare dish from your culture, you will be the star of the party. ”
ZOMG, this is so true. Just over Thanksgiving I brought to a white party three bottles of Puerto Rican coquito and I was a fuggin rock star. It really helped that I brought it all in a decorated basket and expensive bottles from World’s Market.
PWNAGE.
[…] for doing seating arrangements because they swear that they are the ultimate authority in throwing dinner parties. They have a blast doing this while everyone else is bloody miserable. Explain to me, what on earth […]
White people need car insurance: http://www.cwik.com
and life insurance:
http://www.lifeinsurancecwik.com
:0
uh, I think the comedy of the article has been totally lost on you.
Try being more proactive with your outer-box thinking. Also, synergize your close-knit relationships with your real world experience. Don’t look so hard and you will see!
Good luck, I wish you the best!
[…] ‘dinner parties’ are among the “Stuff White People Like” and… I am one. Case in point. […]
Here’s an even better tip: avoid dinner parties at all costs. Talk about pissing an evening away. You’ll never get those 5 hours of your life back. Sit at home in your underwear and watch reruns of Hogan’s Heroes instead.
Or if you’re in a pinch a well-thumbed copy of “Hustler” will do
Not quite; the perfect dinner party guest is one you perceive to be culturally, professionally, intellectually and spiritually inferior. In fact, that’s the whole point of throwing a dinner party — so you can feel smug about how refined you are compared to your cretinous “friends!” That’s rule Number One, jocko!
…or designer furniture. Don’t forget designer furniture.
Ha! Great post. I once took some unwrapped Dolly Madison ho-ho’s to a dinner party and they were received with the same reverence. “These are SOOOOO fantastic.?” “Why thank you, it’s an old Basque recipe from the 16th century.”
Very true — nothing gets the white dinner party conversation flowin’ like stock portfolio comparisons
I survive my girlfriend’s dinner parties by holing up in the basement eating Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and watching “Best of Roller Derby”…then when all the guests have left, I go upstairs and scarf down the leftovers. Try it sometime
Actually, we white people love us some roller derby. I’m surprised it hasn’t been an entry yet.
[…] so I will continue to do this thing (#90 on Stuff White People Like), dangerous though it may be. My family taught me it was important, and my post-college community […]
you are lol funny
Ha ha – this photo is totally taken from your archives. Apparently, you like white people dinner parties as well. You are undoubtedly the person who took the photo.
Wow, I just hosted a fondue party where we played Wii Bowling. Sheesh. Guess I am super-duper white.
haha, I was talking to this white girl the other and she was telling me about her weekend. She said she was “super duper drunk”
I was “super_duper” drunk.. as opposed to being just “super” drunk.. there IS a difference, and it’s not because I am white, thank you very much.
I also say “sheesh”.
You know what goes greeeaaaat with any dinner party???
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When I was hanging out with my aunt, uncle, and cousins from my fathers side fo the family, we sat around playing a game that involved coming up with as many first names that begin with the letter S. Now, is that white or what?
When you need your crystal meth quick, fast, and in a hurry, call Mikey. Straight from the lab and right to your pipe in under 20 minutes!
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[…] embarrassed than dubious, feeling that I had simply failed to contribute to an urbane socialist dining experience, thus negatively affecting my standing amongst my supportive yet secretly censorious […]
This is so true. I think I may go buy this book and make sure it is out on my vintage coffee table at the next dinner party that I host for my co-ed soccer team. It’ll be right next to my bamboo scented candle (sadly, all of these things do exist in my life). By the way, why aren’t candles on the list? Or scented oil? These are decoration staples in white households.
uncomfortable, when all you want to do is drink, uncomfortable when you are afraid to eat someone’s food that looks like tofu, and is tofu.
Well I’m not white but I think that would be fun. I love when my friends have dinner parties. My one friend always busts out the Truth or Dare Jenga. And there’s nothing wrong with some Wii.
[…] 26, 2009 by Scott W. I’m at a dinner party that was not as bad as this, but close when afterwards I got to try out Guitar Hero World Tour. Naturally, as a real musician, […]
[…] wholefoods and grocery co-ops 54. Kitchen gadgets 63. Expensive sandwiches 76. Bottles of water 90. Dinner parties 112. Hummus 119. Sea […]
hilarious! “diversity… in both food and person form.” hehe!
All those scared of real world “grad” students love those pathetic parties. They are bring their cat-hair surprise jello or some other lame ass food, or something from bread and circass, organic crap, and they sit around and talk about chemistry, music or some weak ass stuff. all the while they all cannot rub 2 nickells together. Then they can all sit around and watch the John Leibowitz (daily show)–the anchor changed his name because he is embarrassed about being Jewish.
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money by organizing dinner parties.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
Angst
Think this a great website
This makes me want to have a dinner party in representation of my skin color.
trite dribble.
Instead of “dribble” you mean to say “drivel.” And “trite drivel” doesn’t even make sense as a response to this article. You are a complete moron.
White people love grammar…
Dinner parties should come with a notice on the RSVP letter: “Etiquette will be strictly enforced. We don’t care if you’re our very best friend. Be polite and shut up!” This is the American WASP-yuppie way, why not get invited to a home by an ethnic family…and they are polite, but each different culture has a way of defining manners. If you hadn’t been in a French family reunion-like atmosphere in my paternal grandparents in France, you’ll see. 😀
“Oh my, we hadn’t known you don’t eat pork, kept kosher and about the crab cakes. We are terribly sorry. But you’re in our house you know…and in our house, we start eating by a god’s prayer. How about you pray in your Hebrew god for us?” – NEVER say, do or think about what I just said as a tongue-of-cheek, revelant and spontaneous joke. +
A board game idea: “Taboo” but say what you shouldn’t in proper company, another one is “Scrabble” to teach the lil’ people some interesting words to spell with, and finally get out the “Operation”, it should be a graphic educational experience. And remember, it’s not considered cheating when you’re not caught. +
Ha ha, I want to be with my friends and hang out in places, since they consider their homes “private” and when you ask to use their bathrooms, they may peek over to make sure you do use their bathroom. God what’s what these people? I get it now, I’m not rich and may steal their rolex watches, the (real) silverware or their son’s XBOX360. +
…and the host parents should never get upset about their son married a Korean (actually half-), their daughter dates an Italian Jew, their middle child is now a “she” (was born a man), the grandson has low-functioning autism, the other grandson is from a previous relationship (teenage dad), and the granddaughter is adopted from Ghana. Dontcha love loving families with “issues”? +
Try having a copy of Mein Kampf, the Chicano Nation flag, videos of Jack Van Impe, a youtube vid. clip of your dog took a sh*t and a huge portrait of Josef Stalin. More taboo things to come, stay tuned. “How to have a real bad dinner party”. +
Mike to Mike, if they think I’m inferior, here’s a quote from Karl Marx when he gets turned down from a Country Club application in the 1930s: “Hey thanks, but it’s nice to know that I don’t want to be where I am not wanted”. +
Correction: Groucho Marx. Where did that came from? I might go to a Ducks’ hockey forum and type in “Hitler #1” instead of the goalie HiLLer with two “l”s. Slow it down. +
Generation X, Y, Z and no more! Scary huh? For generations to have a letter of the alphabet, we just ran out of letters.
Unless you’re party hosts are liberal to be walking around in the nude, or dressed in witchcraft robe uniforms, or even two couples living together as one polyamorous one, I will attend these dinner party functions (these are fun). +
“Remember black people, white liberals are your friends. NOT! A message from the U.S. Democratic Party, picking up from where the U.S. Republican Party left out in the ’30s.” +
Dan the man: Pretty sure I might like your comment here more than the actual article itself.
heh all you useless, outta work phd’s, why don’t you have another dinner outing over your bosses house, bring a dish and delish. how pathetic. enjoy your corolla, civic and making peanuts.
Yes!
Dinner parties should come with a notice on the RSVP letter: “Etiquette will be strictly enforced. No man will get into my mouth unless you wash off your meat (unless you’re black. I love to clean off dirty black dicks with my mouth).
This rule is strictly enforced.
yoink
yoink
yoink
Attn: The President/CEO
Sir/Madam,
Call for tenders Number. GH/2009/061
I hereby issue you an invitation relating to open call for tenders Number
GH/2009/061.
To improve the economic sectors in the country the Government of Ghana has mapped out a huge amount of money for rural and urban rehabilitation/developments and part of the funds has been budgeted for the procurement of several medical devices, and other products to the related ministries in the country.
the aim of this tender bidding is to facilitate importation for companies and fight against the importation of substandard goods/Products under the government of H.E. President Evans Atta Mills. The Government of Ghana hereinafter as the purchaser intends using part of its budgetary allocation to fund the rural and urban rehabilitation/developments project and part of the funds has been budgeted for the procurement of several goods/Products to the related ministries in the countries.
And once you win any contract with the contract committee, you will remain our principal oversea supplier for years.
Beside the medical devices, other products needed are listed below.
Hence, you may apply beyond the scope of your company products and services if only you have the capacity to execute the contracts.
I will be acting as your local agent to help and represent your company in matters relating to this tender bidding, as well as representing your company before the Contract Committee Board.
The mode of payment is 80% Bank (T/T) in advance and 20% during shipment.
Below are the products urgently needed and other products which
are not listed are many, you are expected to tell us more about your products and we will give you a feedback as soon as we hear from you.
1: MINISTRY OF AGRICULTURE:
Water treatment plants and Chemicals,
Animal, Feeds/ingredients, Horse feeds
Fertilizers, Agrochemicals Products,
pesticides and crop protection chemicals,
seed treatment chemicals, Knapsack sprayer, Tractors.
2. MINISTRY OF WORKS:
Supply of Construction Equipments,
Grey Cement, Cement Clinkers,
Machineries and Parts, such as:-
Excavator Pump, Dumpers, Road Roller, Loader Parts,
3: MINISTRY OF INTERIOR
Domestic Sewing Machines,
PVC Raincoats,
Safety boot and Helmet,
T-shirts,
Rescue Boats
Life jackets
Musical Equipments
Ultrasound Equipments
Building Materials
Survey equipments,
Construction Equipments.
4: MINISTRY OF EDUCATION
Laptop and Desk Top Computers,
Tex Books, Exercise Books,
Educational infrastructure
5: MINISTRY OF HEALTH
Medical and laboratory equipments,
Vaccines,
Condoms,
Pharmaceutical Products
HIV test kits and first aid kits.
Digital Thermometer,
Medical Devices
First Aid Equipments
Hospital bed sheets and Pillow cases.
6: MINISTRY OF SPORTS
Sports Equipments.
Ministry of defense
Laser Devices
AUTO MOBILES
Fire Ambulances
Health Ambulances
Dump Trucks.
Tractors,
Armored Trucks
Armored Vehicles
Money Transit Vehicles
Motorcycles
Coach buses
Sports Cars
Tender is open to all eligible foreign contractors from eligible source countries as defined in the guidelines of the Contract Committee Board of the Republic of Ghana.
If your company is interested in this offer and wishes to participate in this tender bidding, contact me.
Yours faithfully
Dr. Byron Addams
Govt. Accredited Agent
Accra Ghana
bless this post with love,peace,respect and success.
just let love be
[…] The flip side to this is an evening with friends (drinks optional) where you are the esteemed host, bestowing your benevolent space on your friends to enjoy. Let’s face it, people love dinner parties. […]
Fuck man Albert Speer has really similar dinner parties.
[…] Tuesday # 1334 was another K inspired crazy kind of day. I don’t mean to write all my entries about her but our Tuesday writing assignment seems to coincide with her calendar of events quite well. I had “K dinner” on my calendar and we gchat-ed around noon. I asked if she wanted to cook at my place or go to a nice restaurant nearby. “What?” she said “why your place of course,” and proceed to rattle off the name of four of our friends who were also coming. Turns out in classic B form, “K-Dinner” on my calendar meant I had volunteered to host our semi-regularly scheduled family dinner and I would soon be visited by six hungry friends, all of whom had cooked for me in the past and was my turn to feed and impress (see https://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/03/18/88-dinner-parties/) […]
[…] and had a wonderful actual Thanksgiving with them – so stop giving me the third degree. We had a dinner party – complete with an actual turkey, which I didn’t know anyone my age knew how to […]
[…] whether or not we want to admit it. Here are a few items, #124 Hating People who Wear Ed Hardy, #90 Dinner Parties, and #76 Bottles of Water. Author […]
That’s amazing, I just compiled a list of things white people are into:
Water treatment plants and Chemicals,
Animal, Feeds/ingredients, Horse feeds
Fertilizers, Agrochemicals Products,
pesticides and crop protection chemicals,
seed treatment chemicals, Knapsack sprayer, Tractors.
Supply of Construction Equipments,
Grey Cement, Cement Clinkers,
Machineries and Parts, such as:-
Excavator Pump, Dumpers, Road Roller, Loader Parts,
Domestic Sewing Machines,
PVC Raincoats,
Safety boot and Helmet,
T-shirts,
Rescue Boats
Life jackets
Musical Equipments
Ultrasound Equipments
Building Materials
Survey equipments,
Construction Equipments.
Laptop and Desk Top Computers,
Tex Books, Exercise Books,
Educational infrastructure
Medical and laboratory equipments,
Vaccines,
Condoms,
Pharmaceutical Products
HIV test kits and first aid kits.
Digital Thermometer,
Medical Devices
First Aid Equipments
Hospital bed sheets and Pillow cases.
Sports Equipments.
Laser Devices
Fire Ambulances
Health Ambulances
Dump Trucks.
Tractors,
Armored Trucks
Armored Vehicles
Money Transit Vehicles
Motorcycles
Coach buses
Sports Cars
hummus dinner party…with “gluten free” shit….fucken CRACKERS dude…it amuses me xD
A true standard in comedy blogging.
Another great site is http://www.SomethingYouShouldRead.com
[…] children and are mostly finically able to care for ourselves and entertain ourselves and others (see). But part of it is pure yuppiness – the need to upstage and show our cultural awareness and […]
Im a little confused…is this a real page? Whats the purpose? 4real?
hahahaha this is so accurate!
I’ve noticed this with especially with gay couples and new professionals. The dinner party, the way to show sophistication and jadedness around a meal.
These people should realize they do not know shit about anything and their pathetic attempts at ethnic diversity are garbage.
[…] Dinner Parties […]
LOL, the purpose is obvious, duh! This is informative shit, like American History – the lost pages in your high school text book. You can’t make this stuff up. And, you won’t know where you’re going if you don’t know from wence you came . . .
dude, you can’t spell “mein?”
Dinner parties are so depressing…
you have obviously never seen “come dine with me”. love this site, it’s just euro jealousy!
you have obviously never seen “come dine with me”. love this site, it’s just euro jealousy! and this is not a duplicate of something else that’s been said….
[…] will do wonders in destroying the olive plantations of the entire region, because the sun-loving, dinner party-abetting fruit is the POISON BEAD OF MEDIOCRITY holding the Mediterranean, and the rest of the […]
In dinner parties and holidays, white families will set up the “KIDDIE” table for the children, but white parents won’t get into any sense of humor around the kids. xD
#133 should be Baby showers and the token metrosexual male gets invited, they pass as “gay”. But male outings are strictly off-limits to women, as sometimes “sexism” unlike in the Masters club in Augusta is allowed.
Thanks for the usual choices of dinner party conversation, as long it avoids the 3 no-nos to discuss: politics, religion and your ex-wife. Don’t be the spambot or x-rated adult site, or hate speech demonstration when in fact all your guests are the WASPs or white-washed ethnic wannabes. Hey, anyone heard of this Polish joke? Ugh, hide under the table…it’s gonna be offensive, but Poles are white anyway.
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My entire freshman year of college was characterized by dinner parties. That may be an exaggeration, but if 5-6 hours of pretentious talk is wrong, then I don’t want to be right! : )
[…] it’s nice to have a home for closet publications (i.e. trashy fantasy). I know this is very ‘Stuff White People Like’**, but, hey, you’ve got to agree with me that fantasy books take up a lot of space. Stephanie […]
[…] superiority, and often the food genuinely is very good. (Actually, a lot of these features are amusingly drawn out in the satirical blog Stuff White People Like, which does a good job of pointing out the irony of the […]
I think BBQs (cookouts) have over taken Dinner Parties among my white friends. That way they get to show off their expertise in the garden, as well as their efforts to help save the environment with things like: their solar panels, water tanks, veggie garden and chicken coop for the free range eggs.
I am disappointed website author is white.
I lived in America. I had dinner party. I served traditional dishes with my American wife, for four couples:
Raw salmon with slevochney cream on toast.
Raw herring.
Pickled garlic.
Borsch.
Tomato and cucumber salad.
Chicken Kiev.
Kasha.
Pastries
Much more vodka.
I drank all the vodka, white people could not have anything but tomato juice. No one ate anything. (I don’t like sour cream. I don’t like tomatoes. I don’t like fucking anything.)
Fuck all of you white people. I moved back to Russia after that party.
I have no gay or black friends. There are no black people here, and they throw bottles at gays. This is a stupid site, should be “White Americans”, not “white people” generally.
Learn to drink like real men, fuckheads.
Vlad, calm down -this site should realy be called “stuff white, upper-middle class, college educated (and/or bound), American people like”
it’s fun to laugh at people, enjoy it, don’t get mad 😉
I was invited to Hannukah this year. It was awesome. We played Risk and shot each other with Nerf Guns and I ate Latkas and drank an entire bottle of Manichewitz! We could learn some things about dinner parties from the Jews.
haha nice one vladimir, i think you had the “wrong type of white people” over dinner
White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
[…] One of my favorite sources of comedic social commentary on yuppies, hipsters, and “white people” in general states – # 90 Dinner Parties, ‘Stuff White People Like’ […]
[…] me think perhaps this is something that our friends at Stuff White People Like might approve of. BOOM, it is. Settling in at a comfortable 90, dinner parties are a well-respected bastion of white […]
Hi. I must agree with Vladmir. I’m white, not american and these things are pretty much american culture, maybe ‘white americans’. Go to Netherlands, for example, nobody will ever invite you for such a party, lol. No, I’m not dutch…
But after all, I laughed at some parts.
@Vladimir>>> BWAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Great post! You have more in common with most Americans than you think..
this entire blog ridicules “white liberals”, not white Americans…
“it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID” i think I jus went into cardiac arrest!!
Funny how in the 70’s we were only concerned that our dinner parties didn’t cause food poisoning, because we had cats and guinea pigs in the kitchen (I got a picture of one of the cats licking the Thanksgiving turkey.)
For entertainment guests watched our kiddie puppet shows, which might have been mildly amusing when the puppets went wild and ate the scenery.
With three kids and numerous pets no one worried about decor–it was amazing that the house was still standing.
And a good time was had by all.
I think this blog refers more to white North American culture as opposed to all white culture (ie Europe). As in, white Canadians act like this too.
Canadians do a lot of the same things. Ok, we don’t have Trader Joe’s as far as I know, but the rest is pretty similar.
Especially the dinner parties 😛
While eating, drinking, and conversation are expected to fill up 5-6 hours, sometimes it’s just not enough. In order to fill the silence, white people will often turn to board games (Cranium!) or Wii Bowling. This lets everyone have fun together without having to really talk to each other, which is usually more fun anyways.
This is absolutely true. I have, by necessity, had to attend many white dinner parties and I’ve hated nearly every one. White people are boring. They shouldn’t call these gatherings a “party.” As a black person, I feel a party is somewhere you go to dance. Not stand around talking about BS.
1 Mcdonalds wrapper. Bwahahahahahaha XD
well im not white (im mix black and spanish) but i enjoy hosting dinner party because in my family once or twice (sometimes more ) a month ,my mother (she is a cook for cathering cie)would host a dinner party for friends and family , she would introduce us to new dishes and recipes she had learn (she is a wonderful cook) and we would yes… sit and chat , joke and laugh (the is a lot a comedians in the family)for 2-3 hours and have a great time then we would play games..so now that im older I enjoy also hosting dinner parties with my friend and family … I don’t believe that this is a white thing nor a pretentious thing (if im spelling it right) to me it is a relaxing and fun way to see people you love or enjoy their cie since if i want to party and dance the night away i can go to the club without disturbing my neighboors …..
This is too funny! I’m black…but I understand the pressure of the sophisticated dinner party. But I definitely draw the line with board games! (Lots of) Alcohol is a fine substitute for conversation.
[…] a picture of a rustic apricot tart I made last summer. Don’t ask.) Most people like dinner parties. Even introverts like me enjoy good company, and if the food is well-made and the drinks delicious […]
Besides, it has a flap closure with a Louis Vuitton engraved clasp
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I really enjoyed reading this. Many insightful approaches that add the key elements to a good cuisine. Take a look at my recipes collection on my blog and let me know what you think. Maybe we can exchange some recipes. http://www.domenickpucillorecipes.com/
When the prophet Jeremiah rails against the sins of Israel, and predicts that a boiling pot from the north will spill
over in their direction and destroy everything, this
is not designed to shift anybodys political allegiance
from Israel to the northern nation of Babylon (or Assyria).
The key difference between games and film, comics or books, is the interactive aspect that opens nigh limitless possibilities insofar as creating
worlds, stories, mechanics, adventures and characters.
However, the Bible did not reveal any dates on the prophecy.
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[…] #90 Dinner Parties | Stuff White People Like – Mar 18, 2008 · In the Czech Republic it is customary to have evening sessions, rather than dinner parties, so people are sat around couches, armchairs and TV tables…. […]
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[…] #90 Dinner Parties | Stuff White People Like – In the Czech Republic it is customary to have evening sessions, rather than dinner parties, so people are sat around couches, armchairs and TV tables. […]
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Coming from another cultural background I can totally relate. Ever since I moved to this part of the western world, dinner parties are the highlight of everyones evening when announced. It is so amazing to see faces that are lighted when it is announced that my cultural food “jollof rice” has arrived. Being the one with the culture food indeed makes you popular. Why? because if it is delicious, just know you are everyones best friend at that dinner and trust me when I say you would be invited to more dinners where you will eventually meet more friends. Also, I couldn’t agree less with how long the dinner last. Most of the time while leaving home for this dinner, I have to ongoing explain to my cultured parents why “eating food” as they call it have to last 5-6 hours. I started a blog about cultural differentiation and what to change while here in Canada, feel free to check it out to gain extra ideas. https://iambija.wordpress.com
LAST LAST LAST
FUCK OU herpers mother fucker