#93 Music Piracy
March 30, 2008 by clander
White people have always been renowned for having ridiculously large music collections. So when file sharing gave white people a chance to acquire all the music they ever wanted, it felt as though it was an earned right and not a privilege.
When (not if) you see a white male with a full iPod, ask him if all of his music is legal. If he does not immediately launch into a diatribe about his right to pirate music, you might have to nudge him a bit by saying “do you think that’s right?” The response will be immediate and uniform.
He will likely rattle off statistics about how most musicians don’t make any money from albums, it all comes from touring and merchandise. So by attending shows, he is able to support the musicians while simultaneously striking a blow against multinational corporations. He will proceed to walk you through the process of how record labels are set up to reward the corporation and fundamentally rob the artist of their rights, royalties and creativity. Prepare to hear the name Steve Albini a lot.
Advanced white people will also talk about how their constant downloading of music makes them an expert who can properly recommend bands to friends and co-workers, thus increasing revenues and exposure. So in fact, their “illegal” activities are the new lifeblood of the industry.
When they have finished talking, you must choose your next words wisely. It is considered rude to point out the simple fact that they are still getting music for free. Instead you should say: “Wow, I never thought of it like that. You know a lot about the music industry. What bands are you listening to right now? Who is good?”
This sentence serves two functions: it helps to reassure the white person that they are your local “music expert,” something they prize. Also, it lets them feel as though they have convinced you that their activities are part of a greater social cause and not simple piracy.
If you bring up this issue with white person who says “nah bro, I don’t give a shit, Dave Matthews has enough money as it is.” You are likely dealing with wrong kind of white person.
In the even more rare situation where someone says “it’s all paid for, and it’s all transferred from vinyl.” You have found an expert level white person and must treat the situation carefully. 
Because of the availability of music online, a very strict social hierarchy has been created within white culture whereby someone with a large MP3 collection is considered “normal,” a large CD collection is considered to be “better,” and a person with a large vinyl collection is recognized as “elite.”
These elite white people abhor the fact that music piracy has made their B-sides, live performances, and bootlegs available to the masses. Their entire life’s work has been stripped of its rarity in terms of both object and sound on the record. The best thing you can say to them is: “vinyl still sounds better.”
However, it is recommended that you do not let this conversation drag much longer. If you let them continue talking to you they are likely to spend hours talking to you about bands you’ve never heard of and providing you with a weekly mix CD of rarities that you do not want.
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1.Once again everyone pirates
2.asians make the cracks and torrents
3.pirating is file sharing,file sharing is not stealing,learn to differentiate stealing from file sharing because they are not one in the same
4.you find that white people pirating music for their itunes collection is “immoral” but stealing an ipod from a more fortunate white person deems fair
anywho,overall you were right on the money however how does illegal downloading make the individual A self acclaimed “music expert”?? your feeble attempt of reading peoples motives/actions/thought process is beyond hilarious.
lol they are the ones who make the cracks and the torrents lmao!!,this guy doesnt know what hes talking about.
“Negoes”
Maybe you should go back to school, or your trailer
Wait, is this the comments section or the real life examples section?
Bro,
you must be stupid. I have thousands, yes thousands of vinyl pieces….tney have been care for since I got the first 1 47 years ago. They are clean, in the jackets, are played on high quality equipment and are in mint condition. My stereo equipment is worth at least $15,000, my collection close to $50,000. analog sound is the best friend, not the fake digital world you’re living in.
If you are listening to Beiber, or Winehouse, or Gaga or Eminem pal, you are a lost soul. My stereo, vinyl collection, collectables and autographs alone are way beyond your comprehension or worth. Long live Rock….and great vinyl.
Personally, I have never gotten any downloads or garbage off the internet; the new music out is worthless, these bands are terrible. I have a huge vinyl collection of real jazz, real country, true rock music; I have about everything I need to hear, not this plastic pre packaged stuff you call music. As a collector, I have hundreds of hours of live Stones, Pink Floyd, Original Fleetwood Mac, Hendrix, MC5, Sonics Rendezvous Band, Velvet Underground, Quicksilver, Airplane, Dead and other great bands on vinyl, CD and cassette. I have all their music thats legit, I love the live shows, These cats dont care about bootlegs, hell Mick and Keith collect them as well!!! Yea, keep downloading Garth Brooks, Beiber, Gaga, Winehouse, Greenday, Tupac, Biggie, Keith Urban and all those other fakes on your MP3s and portable toys….and know you are listening to frauds who are not really musicians…….I stick to the vinyl and just enjoy the real deal. Remember the Revelution, and to quote the MC5, Kick out the Jams Motherfuckers!!!
Sure, white people should just go into the store and steal the music CD like Negoes do.
lol i thought asians are pro in pirating!!
I think that while your hierarchy was accurate in the early stages of music piracy, things are shifting. You are seen as something akin to wasteful if you have invested your money into an actual physical collection of recorded music. Now, among people on both sides of this argument, the vinyl fans are seen as the elite. Among the pirates, it’s the negative type of elite, those who see themselves as better than everyone else. Among those with tape and CD collections, those with collections almost entirely in vinyl are seen as the elite in the Wayne’s World sense of “We’re not worthy!” But it really has come to the point where there are two separate schools of music collections. Those who pirate music act as if they are doing something socially aware, as if they’ve stumbled upon some moral secret, while those who collect recorded music may also feel morally superior for doing something “legal,” for not pretending about who is benefiting from their behavior, or any other number of excuses for not pirating their favorite songs.
These threads are usually bang on or very near the truth – but this one couldn’t be more inaccurate.
Surely your liberal left middle class metro types are the one segment of people below 50 who don’t indulge in music piracy.
Because they’re so concerned about “the damage it’s doing to the emerging generation of musical creativity” or some such crap.
These people are the people who actually bother with stuff like ‘Spotify’ – I don’t know who else keeps it going.
Yes unusually wide of the mark this one…
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