#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism
January 27, 2008 by clander
As with many white people activities, being vegan/vegetarian enables them to feel as though they are helping the environment AND it gives them a sweet way to feel superior to others. For further evidence, note how the vegetarian world has increasing levels of extemism (no meat, no dairy, no eggs, no fish, nothing that has been cooked, etc).
Much like not watching TV, this makes white people pretty hard to deal with on a day to day basis – having dinner, going to restaurants, having them over to watch political debates all become major challenges as they will talk about how they cannot eat anything and would rather that the meat and cheese be thrown in the garbage than put into their bodies.
But wait, aren’t there white people who eat organice, grain fed, free range cattle and chicken? Yes, these white people are wracked with guilt knowing that they are eating a dead animal, contributing to rainforest deforestation, and global warming.
Whether you are dealing with a meat eater or a vegan/vegetarian, there are many ways to use this information to your advantage.
If you require a favor from a vegetarian white person, you should invite them to a dinner with your family. When your mother/grandmother offers them a dish with meat in it, they will reject it saying that they are vegetarian. When the meal is over, tell them that your mom is very embarrassed, and that in your culture rejecting food is the equivalent of spitting on someone’s grave. They will then owe you favor, this can be repeated when you need trips to the airport, someone to help you move, a small interest free loan, or a place for your friend to crash.
If you need to gain leverage with a meat eater, it’s pretty easy. They already feel guilty, just point it out.
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I like eating meat. Why? Because it’s delicious. I mean who cares about the silly animals, they’re really tasty.
I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS!!! Can one million RICH WHITE PEOPLE send me one dollar apiece, puh-lease????
I don’t want money from any Asians, or Blacks or Hispanics. You guys NEED your money. I only want one dollar apiece from RICH WHITE PEOPLE who seem to WASTE their money on being vegetarian.
Waste it on me instead. Thanks so much! (First person who comments “You ARE a waste.” is a rotten egg. You thought it. I know you did. Stop lying. See? I knew it.)
http://thepighasacurlytail.wordpress.com/million-dollar-fund/
I still have canine teeth (big ones) for a reason, and it ain’t to eat beans or tofu.
Besides, what ever happened to plant rights???
So, now you’re telling me you have the right to kill vegetation because you think they don’t have feelings like you do?
Vegetarians/Vegans who do it for moral reasons are all a bunch of hypocrites. Yeah, let’s cut down trees so we grow crops. Let’s kill plants so we don’t have to kill animals…
Yeah, how selfless of you… do some proper research before you destroy our “environment” and the economy. And yeah, being a vegetarian can actually be harmful to “environment.”
NITROGEN FERTILIZERS!
Also, please boycott ORGANIC fruits and vegetables… I am not being ironic… these are also harmful to human consumption over time. Do the research please before pushing this hippie BS on us.
How do you think people grew fruits and veggies before synthetic fertilizers and pesticides were invented in the mid-20th? If organic is so harmful, why are we here?
That said? Here’s another white person who is NOT and will never be vegan or vegetarian. I tried it–my health already wasn’t great and this just pushed me over the edge. Recently I also found out that the U.S. government lets food producers label plant foods as having vitamin A in them. PLANT FOODS DO NOT CONTAIN VITAMIN A. Saying that beta carotene is vitamin A is like saying an oak tree is a house. Nobody had told me that conversion of beta carotene into vitamin A is a notoriously inefficient process which cannot be performed by everybody. I had actually developed reproductive system problems in the past three years because I was not getting enough preformed A! Just supplementing that, without changing anything else, cured my symptoms.
People go through similar with B vitamins. “Oh you can just get it from nutritional yeast”–no. No. Go eat a goddamn fucking steak. Seriously. Your GI tract isn’t even set up to break down cellulose and there are people out there eating traditional indigenous diets who rarely if ever touch plant food, much less eat it, and they thrive. Nobody thrives on a vegan diet without cheating with factory foods. NO ONE.
“More eco-friendly,” my ass. You have to clear-cut forests to eat as a vegan. HAVE to. You don’t have to clear-cut to raise animals, though. And either way you’re gonna kill animals, unless the insects and rodents and birds killed by plant agriculture suddenly don’t count as critters. Not to mention the agricultural runoff from plant fields that kills sea life. Way to go.
HAHA ROFLOL just hilarious! So true aswell, we become vegetarians and vegans, but often its nothing to do with not killing and eating animals but because it makes us feel socially superior.
This is not a humorous blog! Where do you people get these ideas from?
http://www.beabetterproducer.com
I’m pretty sure this is a humours blog but you know get all pissy about it, I thought it was funny. And I’m a vegetarian. Gasp!
He wasnt serious…
whats with people always thinking we eat nothing but twigs and leaves? there are PLENTY of other sources of protein and vegetarians/vegans know that… if a recipe calls for meat then we just substitute it with something else rich in protein. its not difficult to us. Meat grosses me out for several reasons but i dont see what the big deal is. its like not liking anything else…. If i dont like onions then i probably wont eat anything with onions in it… if i dont like meat then i wont eat stuff with meat in it :p
people just hate vegetarians/vegans because it’s such an “extreme” lifestyle for most. It’s like thinking people with tatoos or lip piercings are immoral or immature. Even when we don’t get in their faces about animal rights or anything, merely mentioning the fact that we’re vegetarian pisses people off. It’s stupid and not all of us think that we’re above everyone else. It’s a lifestyle choice as is eating meat,
I don’t care what people eat, that’s their choice. The only vegetarians/vegans I have a problem with is those that try to change what *I* eat. What I eat is my business, not theirs.
Though “animal rights” does piss me off. Most people don’t realize the extremism of “animal rights” groups like PETA. (Their goal is the extinction of domestic animals and no human/animal interaction.) I’m a strong supporter of animal welfare, and very much against animal rights.
Oh so you’re against animal rights? Then why not throw out human rights as well seeing as we are also animals.
I think the blog is funny but I think it is offensive in that there really is a problem and by phrasing the situation in the way this blog has it makes it near impossible to say anything to that effect seeing as you will just be seen as the ‘white stereotype.’
Can you explain to me how animals have “rights”? The concept of “rights” is a human concept, not a concept to non-human animals. Humans are rational agents, animals are not. We should protect animals, but they do not have “rights”.
Furthermore, what we think of as the very basic human life, the right to life, animals rights groups such as PETA say they don’t beleive animals have that right!
Also, please do some research on the differences between animal rights and animal welfare.
Animal welfare:
- treat animals humanely, don’t neglect or abuse them
- if they are going to die, do it as quickly and painlessly as possible
Animal rights:
- extinction of domestic animals
- no interaction between humans and non-human animals
Unfortunately, many people join “animal rights” groups without even realize the true agenda of what they are supporting. They want the warm and fuzzy feeling of “saving the animals”, but animals rights is much darker than that, and is detrimental to both humans and animals.
If you truly care about animals and want to help them, support animal welfare groups and your local animal shelters.
becuase they are ignorant.
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