#64 Recycling
February 14, 2008 by clander
Recycling is a part of a larger theme of stuff white people like: saving the earth without having to do that much.
Recycling is fantastic! You can still buy all the stuff you like (bottled water, beer, wine, organic iced tea, and cans of all varieties) and then when you’re done you just put it in a DIFFERENT bin than where you would throw your other garbage. And boom! Environment saved! Everyone feels great, it’s so easy!
This is important because all white feel guilty about producing waste. It doesn’t stop them from doing it, but they feel guilty about it. Deep down, they believe they should be like the Native Americans and use every part of the product or beast they have consumed. Though for many white people, this simply means putting plastic bags into a special drawer where they will accumulate until they are eventually used to carry some gym clothes or bathing suit. Ultimately this drawer will get full and only be emptied when the person moves to a new house. Advanced white recyclers will uses these grocery bags as garbage bags.
If you are in a situation where a white person produces an empty bottle, watch their actions. They will first say “where’s the recycling?” If you say “we don’t recycle,” prepare for some awkwardness. They will make a move to throw the bottle away, they will hesitate, and then ultimately throw the bottle away. But after they return look in their eyes. All they can see is the bottle lasting forever in a landfill, trapping small animals. It will eat at them for days, at this point you should say “I’m just kidding, the recycling is under the sink. Can you fish out that bottle?” And they will do it 100% of the time!
The best advice is that if you plan to deal with white people on regular basis either start recycling or purchase a large blue bin so that they can believe they are recycling.
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Recycling is worse for the environment than throwing your trash away.
[...] to Christian Lander, the author of Stuff White People Like, white people like to recycle. Lander says white people like to think they can buy anything without [...]
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I use plastic bags from grocery stores as garbage bin liners. Instead of buying garbage bin liners. Everyone I know does this…
”Though for many white people, this simply means putting plastic bags into a special drawer where they will accumulate until they are eventually used to carry some gym clothes or bathing suit.”
I’m wondering why producing, *good, clean, envirowhacko friendly energy*, has never proposed this as an obviouse solution to our dependence on foriegn oil…..
large hamster wheels for ppl to run on, connected to a generator that charges the batteries in your electric car, house, appliances, ect… ect… ect….
With unemployment at record lvls, illigal immigration unabated, and human hamster wheels almost an entirely unregulated….. this IS the future of the green wave….
get entirely off the grid, or sell your extra energy back to the grid….
Its also the answer to the fat ass epidemic, and will dramatically reduce healthcare costs by guaranteeing energy demands are met with actual physical excercise……
or for the most green fruitcakes among us, they can get special cards allowing them to barter the extra energy they produce for the gov’t cheese they recieve!!!!
*WIN WIN WIN* xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
With as feckless and incompetent an ass clown as we have squatting in the White House right now, I don’t see how he could possibly overlook the possibilities…… more reliable and cost effective than wind energy, the job opportunities in this new *tech* guaranteeing more employment than the WW2 war effort, these jobs are available now……
Easily sellable to the public by showing him, his fat ass wife, and kids actively doing their part to power the White House, on live TV……. xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
[...] future recycled home decor. [...]
Recycling is not the answer. The answer is buying less crap that will inevitably have to be disposed of, either by recycling or landfill.
Watch the Story of Stuff video for more info.
yeah right? what the fuck is wrong with people. They cant take a fucking joke if it hit them in the face.
Hey buddy this is just a joke if your gonna take it so seriously then stop reading these.
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