#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes
March 11, 2008 by clander
As white people get older, they like to make clear boundaries between their professional and personal lives. They don’t mind talking about their personal life at work, but they hate talking about their work life when they are enjoying a weekend or vacation. But with blackberries and laptops, white people could be working anywhere, at any time. So how do you know when they are off the clock? It’s easy, check their clothes.
When white people aren’t working, they generally like to wear Outdoor Performance Clothes. The top suppliers of these garments and accessories include North Face, REI, Mountain Equipment Co-Op, Columbia Sportswear, and Patagonia.
When you see white people wearing these, it is important that you do not discuss business matters. Instead you should say things like “where did you get that fleece?” and “what’s that thing holding your keys to your shorts?” White people will be more than happy to talk to you about their sustainably produced possessions.
The main reason why white people like these clothes is that it allows them to believe that at any moment they could find themselves with a Thule rack on top of their car headed to a national park. It could be 4:00 p.m. on a Saturday when they might get a call “hey man, you know what we need to do? Kayak then camping, right now. I’m on my way to get you, there is no time to change clothes.”
Though it is unlikely that they will receive this call, White people hate the idea of missing an opportunity to enjoy outdoor activities because they weren’t wearing the right clothes.
If you plan on spending part of your weekend with a white person, it is strongly recommended that you purchase a jacket or some sort of “high performance” t-shirt, which is like a regular shirt but just a lot more expensive.
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I usually see North Face mostly on black guys
Bored? Go through the list and see if you Like, Dislike, or are Neutral about each entry. Like gets a +1, Dislike a -1, and Neutral 0. The whitest man alive would get a +129, the least white man alive a -129.
My own WQ (Whiteness Quotient) is a 61. I am mixed Irish, Polish, and Italian, raised in the northern United States. I’m curious to see other people’s WQs and racial background.
By the looks of their dress, the couple look like professional bouncers on their way to work…and please don’t upset them about mentioning “business matters”, such as throwing out uninvited guests at the club’s front entrance.
Your fucking joking about this website here right.. Your worse than the deusche bags you talk about..
White people hate Ed Hardy LMFAO you are a dumb fuck.. He is white and only one of the most talented tattoo artist in the world.. You must be from Mars to think that white people do not wear his clothing line or his INK .. You are an ignorant piece of work aren’t you.. Hope someone pushes your face in this week..
calm down dude…..
He wears Ed Hardy. Back away slowly.
i love my north face fleece, i’m wearing it now even tho it’s 100 degrees in the computer lab…
i hate outdoor activities tho, does this make me less white?
How about chacos? Worn by white eco-posers everywhere.
I hate when little boys wear outdoor performance clothes…
put alil love in your heart
I hate when little boys wear outdoor performance clothes too. They make it hard for me to get to their dicks to suck..
put alil love in my ass…
I wear a Columbia button up dress shirt for you with my Northface cargo shorts
Damn! I am white. I love my outdoor performance clothing for the simple reason that I might suddenly need to take part in a marathon or track down a wild beast in the forest… Watch out you wild animals. My imitation bare foot shoes and I are coming for you (right after I finish drinking my coffee and studying for my liberal arts degree)! http://stuffzachlikes.com/2009/08/29/2-vibram-five-fingers-shoes/
we usually wear a strap on phallis, or a lingerie to get us in the mood, never heard of these outdoor action wear for those dumb whites.
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