A lot of cultures love dogs – be it for entertainment, labor, or other. But white people love dogs on an entirely different level.
It should be understood that in white culture, dogs are considered training for having children. That is to say that any white couple must get a dog before they have kids. This will prepare them for responsibility by having another creature to feed, supervise it’s bathroom activities, and to love. Because of this, white people generally assume that their dog is their favorite child unless otherwise stated.
When actual children are born, the dog is not displaced but rather remains as the most important member of the household. This is because of the fact that white children will eventually hate their parents, but dogs will love anyone who feeds them.
White people generally believe that dogs have human emotions and that they are capable of loving certain TV shows, films, and music. “Buster just loves watching Six Feet Under!” Even though most dogs would enjoy watching Hitler if he were getting attention every time it came on the TV.
They also believe that their dogs share similar tastes in food – “Little Ben Kweller likes the Organic food the best.” Forgetting the fact that dogs enjoy eating their own feces, and pretty much anything that falls onto the floor.
When searching for homes, many white people will require large yards so that their “dog can run around.” If you work in real estate, this can be exploited for large markups when selling to white people.
It is also a proven fact, that dogs are often used by white people to attract members of the opposite sex. Bringing a puppy or dog to a local dog park, will encourage interaction and conversation. Even more so than a Mac Laptop.
If white people are ever talking about their dogs, it is essential that you reassure them that their dogs are absolutely special and unique. That they are being properly cared for, and that treating like children is the only way to care for a pet. Under no circumstance EVER should you say anything that is derogatory towards dogs, critical of spoiling dogs, or that they are not full members of society who deserve the same rights as humans. Doing any of these three things will completely destroy all relationships you might have had with a white person.
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I know a lady who is African American who is and believes and lives your article.
This is definitely not just a white people issue. All sorts of people coddle their dogs.
I’d rather my dogs than children precisely because they aren’t children and don’t have to be treated like children. The only “right” I expect for my dogs is that they be allowed to exist: that people who don’t like dogs shouldn’t approach my dogs and then complain that the dogs are there. They don’t sniff or touch people unless invited and they certainly aren’t peeing on them or humping their legs. They are standing beside me behaving and even that is too much for some people.
I have pets for the same reason anyone else has hobbies/interests: I find owning animals (dogs, cats, lizards, rodents, etc) enjoyable, it is something that occupies me when I want to be occupied and I feel like I am doing something I want to be doing. I don’t have them as “practice”, I don’t own them solely for the affection I get from them and I certainly don’t think that they think/feel/live like humans. They eat healthy food and they get healthy exercise and they get the interactions that any social living creature needs, but they do not get carried around like a baby or dragged around by the neck, nor do they have “favourite” foods (only foods that do and don’t agree with their stomachs), shows or music. They, like any animal, are interested in the sounds of their own kind and so do stare at the computer when they hear dogs, but they really can’t be said to be enjoying it so much as being curious.
So this white person does enjoy her dogs, but for completely different reasons than are offered up. I’ll join you in mocking the people who treat their tiny pocket pooches like surrogate babies, but don’t presume that whiteness automatically presupposes that. My dogs are closer to working dogs than anything else, even if their work consists mainly of keeping both myself and themselves active.
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