Posted in Activities, Culture on January 31, 2008 | 274 Comments »
Mornings are exceptionally important to white people, as witnessed by their love of breakfast places. However, some white people never go out for breakfast on a Sunday Morning. The reason? The Sunday edition of the New York Times.
A perfect white sunday generally works like this. Wake up at around 8:45, if the [...]
Posted in Food & Beverage on January 31, 2008 | 246 Comments »
While white people enjoy venturing to ethnic parts of town to satisfy their pallette, most would prefer to take their first dates and parents to a place with dimmer lights, less water tanks with crabs and lobsters wishing that they would die, less ducks hanging from the window and table cloths that aren’t [...]
Posted in Culture on January 31, 2008 | 374 Comments »
Summer: Who was that? It sounded like a girl.
Seth: Did it? Yeah. Well, sure. Because I’m listening to the radio. And This American Life is on. And so there’s a girl talking.
Summer: Is that that show where those hipster know-it-alls talk about how fascinating ordinary people are? God.
Leave it to a show about stereotypical white [...]
Posted in Activities, Culture on January 30, 2008 | 125 Comments »
While white people certainly love “the cinema,” they are required to balance their interest in film with an interest in live theater, most notably plays.
In spite of plays having minimal sets, no special effects, an intermission, and a higher admission price, white people believe that live theater is essential to any cultured city.
It is not [...]
Posted in Culture, Food & Beverage on January 30, 2008 | 427 Comments »
Regardless if you are vegetarian, vegan, or just guilty about eating meat, all white people love Sushi. To them, it’s everything they want: foreign culture, expensive, healthy, and hated by the ‘uneducated.’
But there are different levels of white person Sushi love. At the bottom are the spicy tuna/california roll eaters. These are the people who [...]
Posted in Activities, Culture on January 30, 2008 | 726 Comments »
If you want to understand white people, you need to understand indie music. As mentioned before, white people hate anything that’s “mainstream” and are desperate to find things that are more genuine, unique, and reflective of their experiences.
Fortunately, they have independent music.
A white person’s iPod (formerly CD collection) is not merely an assemblage of [...]
Posted in Products on January 30, 2008 | 858 Comments »
It is surprising that it took all the way to #40 to call out Apple products. Initially, we were planning for an entire week on Apple products, but that would just be over kill.
Plain and simple, white people don’t just like Apple, they love and need Apple to operate.
On the surface, you would ask [...]
Posted in Film on January 29, 2008 | 233 Comments »
We all know white people love film festivals, but what about movies that don’t make it to a film festival, or weren’t in the local film festival? How do you get accesss? Thankfully white people have Netflix.
If you don’t know, Netflix sends you DVDs in the mail and you get new ones when [...]
Posted in Culture, Film on January 29, 2008 | 356 Comments »
Eventhough most white people prefer to say that they don’t watch television, one thing they agree on is that Arrested Development was the best show on TV. They love it so much!
The love it for a number of reasons. Firstly, since the show was cancelled before it jumped the shark, it’s effectively [...]
Posted in Activities, Culture, Work on January 29, 2008 | 165 Comments »
All white people are born with a singular mission in life in order to pass from regular whitehood into ultra-whitehood. Much like how Muslims have to visit Mecca, all white people must eventually renovate a house before they can be complete.
Of course, most white people do not reach this goal until they are 35 [...]
Posted in Food & Beverage, People on January 28, 2008 | 253 Comments »
When Loverboy wrote the song “Everybody’s working for the weekend,” they meant that you work all week so that you can earn a break and go to some sweet bars or concerts and rock out as hard as possible because you have 2 days for the hangover to fix itself. Well, white people work [...]
Posted in Activities, Culture on January 28, 2008 | 360 Comments »
The Daily Show/Colbert makes up a duo that is held in such high regard by white people that to criticize it would be the equivalent of setting the pope on fire in Italy in 1822. It just isn’t done, in fact it isn’t even considered!
White people love to make fun of politics, especially right wing [...]
Posted in Culture on January 28, 2008 | 248 Comments »
If you ask white people what they love about cities they don’t live in, they will say “restaurants,” “culture,” and “architecture.”
They just can’t get enough of old buildings or ultramodern buildings next to old buildings.
If you want to fit in with white people you need to learn about IM Pei, Frank Lloyd Wright, Frank Gehry, [...]
Posted in Culture, Products on January 27, 2008 | 840 Comments »
People from many cultures like marijuana (South East Asian, Jamaica, India, Morrocco, Mexico, etc), but white people take it to an entirely new level.
To simply purchase, roll and smoke marijuana is not enough for white people. They need to make sure they know all the different strains, cultivation technique, and methods for smoking it. [...]
Posted in Culture, Food & Beverage on January 27, 2008 | 1,031 Comments »
As with many white people activities, being vegan/vegetarian enables them to feel as though they are helping the environment AND it gives them a sweet way to feel superior to others. For further evidence, note how the vegetarian world has increasing levels of extemism (no meat, no dairy, no eggs, no fish, nothing that [...]
